#moss reviews things

[wild-moss-art]

So I watched RRR(roudram ranam rudhiram) last night and really enjoyed it!! I think my only criticism of it is that I dont tend to enjoy movies that long(it was like 3 hours) but it was worth it. The music and dancing was excellent, the fighting was cool, and I thought the story was incredibly poignant especially for an action movie. Highly recommend. Also ram charan is sooo beautiful I could not get over it for the entire 3 hour movie. Giving it a 5/5

#moss reviews things #rrr

[mossiestpiglet]

[image id: various produce, mostly tomatoes, spread over a grainy countertop. The produce is mostly grouped by variety. Only the lemon cucumbers are in a bowl. End image id]

Haven’t posted any harvest photos yet this year because I don’t usually arrange them very nicely, but I put a bit more effort into this one from a few days ago. My favorite tomato of all time is the freaky yellow pear that looks like four grown together.

Varieties pictured (top to bottom, left to right)

Tomatoes- Black Beauty, Yellow Pear, Black Cherry, Pork Chop, German Johnson, Sungold

Beans- unknown variety of long bean

Eggplant- Millionaire, Japanese (by the bowl)

Cucumber- Armenian, Lemon (bowl)

Summer Squash- Zephyr, Zucchini

#moss’s garden #vegetable garden #garden harvest #gardening #food pic #I might do a variety review at the end of the season #I don’t eat most of what we grow so the taste notes would all be from my parents #but the way things grow matters to me #cherry tomato #tomatoes #eggplant #cucumbers #summer squash

[maddie-grove]

Little Book Review: General Fiction Round-Up (May-December 2022)

Maddaddam by Margaret Atwood (2013): In the final volume of Atwood's environmental dystopian trilogy (preceded by Oryx and Crake and The Year of the Flood), the survivors of a manmade eco-fascist plague, along with a population of genetically engineered humanoids, must try to make a life in the ruins. Atwood is one of my favorite authors and, while I generally prefer her non-speculative fiction, I really enjoyed the whole trilogy. She's really engaged with the ideas she explores (mostly related to GMOs and income inequality) and grounds them vividly in everyday life. I especially like the way the genetically engineered humanoids (the Crakers) process the world around them.

The Testaments by Margaret Atwood (2019): In the sequel to The Handmaid's Tale, Atwood tells the story of three women in the same universe: a Commander's daughter in Gilead, a daughter of Mayday operatives living in Toronto, and Aunt Lydia, first seen "training" Handmaids in The Handmaid's Tale. I liked The Handmaid's Tale in high school, but I can't say I came away wanting to know more about that world...yet, as it turns out, I totally did want to know more about the pastel horrors of an elite Gilead girlhood. The audiobook is also top-notch, with Ann Dowd, Ann Whitman, and Bryce Dallas Howard doing the three main POVs.

Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link (2005): In nine "short" stories (many of them are quite long), Link writes about absurd things happening in mundane settings. Pretty Monsters, another short story collection of hers with some overlap, was one of my favorite books I read in 2014, but this time I wasn't feeling it. I'd already read the three best entries: "Stone Animals" (about a nebulously haunted house in a suburb of NYC), "Magic for Beginners" (about a mysterious TV show and a teen boy whose father is maybe trying to murder him via writing a novel), and "The Faery Handbag" (about a girl whose grandmother carries around an entire lost country in her purse). The others never really came together. I might have lost my taste for whimsy.

Dune by Frank Herbert (1965): In the very distant future, fifteen-year-old Paul Atreides has to move to a different planet for his father's work, and it only gets worse from there. I resisted reading Dune for the longest time because it sounded as dry as a desert planet where you have to reabsorb your own urine to survive. However, it fucks. I loved the layers of power dynamics and game-playing, especially in the scenes with Lady Jessica. Evil, horny Baron Harkonnen and his weirdly tragic nephew Feyd-Rautha were also great. I didn't like it so much after the time skip, though, and I think I'll give the sequels a pass.

The Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix (2021): Paranoid and reclusive after being targeted twice by Christmas-themed killers, Lynette Tarkington's social life consists of a support group for "final girls" (women who have survived grisly massacres that were adapted into horror movies). I never quite got on board with this one, for two major reasons. The first is that I was irrationally annoyed by the idea that horror movies were seemingly all one-to-one true crime stories in this universe. That's on me. The second is that Hendrix never managed to convince me that most of these women had ever had a significantly positive relationship with each other. This novel could've been a Toast article.

Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix (2014): Amy, a cash-strapped and unhappy twenty-something working at an IKEA knockoff, is offered a transfer to a better store if she'll stay after-hours to investigate some strange recent happenings. This isn't my favorite Hendrix novel; however, it is the fucking scariest. The characterization isn't as rich as it is in most of his other novels--I would describe it as efficient--but the pacing is effectively brisk and the nature of the fake-IKEA haunting almost made me shit my pants.

We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix (2018): Kris Pulaski, once a guitarist/songwriter for up-and-coming heavy metal group Dürt Würk, now lives a life of resignation as a hotel night manager. Meanwhile, her ex-bandmate Terry Hunt is still a massively successful rock star after going nu-metal...and suddenly Kris has reason to believe that he did something truly sinister to make that happen. After My Best Friend's Exorcism, this is my favorite Hendrix novel. He's unusually moderate in putting his heroine through the mill, both in terms of physical peril and self-flagellation, and balances it with the joy she finds in her creative life. The otherworldly threat she faces is nicely chilling, and I loved the bittersweet ending.

Stranger Things: The Other Side by Jody Houser (2019): In this tie-in comic to Stranger Things, we see the first season from twelve-year-old Will Byers's point-of-view as he struggles to survive in the Upside Down. There's some good characterization of Will and a few cool visuals, but overall it's pretty inessential. The writing is kind of flat and sometimes awkward, and the art style is overall muddy and unappealing.

Mysterious Skin by Scott Heim (1995): Neil and Brian, two kids growing up in the same midsized Kansas town, both have life-altering traumatic experiences in the summer of 1981. Brian doesn't remember what happened, and comes to believe in the following years that he was abducted by aliens; Neil knows exactly what went on between him and his sexually predatory Little League coach, but that doesn't mean he understands it. Several years ago, I saw the 2004 movie version, which is amazing both as an adaptation and on its own terms: nuanced, well-paced, beautifully acted and shot, and faithful to all that's good in the source material. Unfortunately, this did slightly lessen the impact of the (also stellar) novel.

Ghost Wall by Sarah Moss (2018): In the early 1990s, working-class seventeen-year-old Silvie spends a summer holiday in a Northumberland village, reenacting Iron Age life with her churlish history buff father, her downtrodden mother, a pompous anthropology professor, and three of his students. It's promising to be more miserable than your average family camping trip, between the lack of modern tech/food and Silvie's father's domestic tyrannies, but are we getting into The Wicker Man territory? This is a tense, deliciously creepy, and lyrical little novella that I finished in one evening because it was so exciting.

Normal People by Sally Rooney (2018): Withdrawn rich girl Marianne, despised at home and at school, starts a no-strings-attached relationship with working-class Connell, who's handsome and bright but kind of a follower. Thus begins an on-again, off-again thing that will follow them through college and change them forever. I really liked this romance between two troubled yet essentially sensible and sweet college students, although it's a bit slow at times. I especially enjoyed the first time that Connell and Marianne's power dynamic flips; she's kind of an It Girl at university, while he's out of his depth.

Summerwater by Sarah Moss (2020): Several families "enjoy" a miserable summer holiday by a Scottish lake over the course of a rainy day. We get the perspectives of several vacationers--judgmental moms, crotchety old men, worried newlyweds, teenagers desperate for wifi and privacy, anxious little kids--with several dark hints that someone will meet a terrible fate. Moss's writing is pleasurable to read and often funny, but I needed a damn flow chart for these people.

The Brittanys by Brittany Ackerman (2021): Brittany, a Floridian high school freshman in 2004, navigates life in her gated community and her suburban high school, hanging out with her friends (most of whom are also named Brittany) and wearing low-rise jeans. Maybe I was unduly influenced by the author being named Brittany, but this novel reads like a bunch of fond adolescent memories with the occasional gesture at some larger meaning. It feels like the author couldn't decide between trying to do an emotional mid-oughts coming-of-age story (like Lady Bird) or a slice-of-life portrait of a certain type of high school experience (like Fast Times at Ridgemont High). The stakes aren't high enough for the first (the biggest through-line is that Brittany's BFF Brittany might be a lesbian but neither of them seems to know it) and the scope isn't wide enough for the second. I think the book would've been better off as, like, two short stories.

#little book review #maddaddam #the testaments #margaret atwood #magic for beginners #kelly link #dune #frank herbert #the final girl support group #horrorstör #we sold our souls #grady hendrix #stranger things: the other side #jody houser #mysterious skin #scott heim #ghost wall #summerwater #sarah moss #normal people #sally rooney #the brittanys #brittany ackerman

[mossmittens]

i love this meme template because u can put literally anythang

#its still funny but its also stupid #'birth of the universe' -> 'existence of hentai' #'cambrian explosion' -> 'the concept of bitcoin' #'archduke franz ferdinand is driven by a sandwich shop' -> 'brexit' #yeah baby girl things lead to other things #moss bloggin #things i posted really early in tbe morning and am now reviewing and going What

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Sticking Point 5

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, possible violence, illness, death, bullying, ableism, and other elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are sent in the place of your ailing sister to marry a stranger. (Regency AU)

Character: Loki

Note: Three day weekend but I got coursework.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 💞

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Banished from the library, you refuse to slink back to your rooms and hide. Your position might remain tenuous but you are meant to be the lady of this house. One day. Soon enough. So much as you dread it, and Lord Laufeyson does too, it is inevitable. 

You retreat down the hall and descend the grand staircase to the first level. You pass between the serpentine statues and cross the airy space of the entrance hall. Several servants observe your passing but retain their propriety and silence.  

The doorman lets you out into the sunshine. You might have brought a parasol but it is too late now. You come down the steps onto solid earth and peer around at the lush green gardens that further bolster the estate's name.  

You retrace the path Odin led you on the previous day. You stop to admire roses in canary yellow and the orange tree transplanted from some faraway land. As he showed you it all, you could hear the pride which made this place so coveted. There's a peace that comes with the medley of colours and scents that mingle in the sprawl of curated gardens. 

As you reach the hedges higher than your own head, you become disoriented. You do not to clearly remember which way to turn. Certainly you cannot lose yourself enough to not find the route back. 

The statue of the lady in repose is familiar and the bird bath trimmed in stone lilies similarly nostalgic. You try to fathom that it is all meant to be yours. It is no easy plight to reconcile the duke’s loathing with expectation: your own, those of your parents, and society in itself. 

You tarry by the circle of benches around a weeping tree. The curtain of branches has you curious to delve into its arches and yet the webbing of spiders keeps you from mussing your dress. As all things, your caution keeps you from action. 

You turn back as the sun shifts and the clouds crawl over the sky. You wind around and come to stare down a wooden archway twined in vines and moss. You do not recollect that from Odin's exploration. You must have lost your way, you are not headed back to the estate but away from it. 

Uncertain, you spin back again and your feet turn fleet as worry mounts. You veer this way and find yourself at a wall of hedges, you turn that way and find yourself circling around back to the same place. You cannot make sense of it. 

You begin to weary as the sky dims further and a coolness settles in the air. Time passes and you remain trapped in the labyrinth of branches and brambles. What should happen might you truly be lost? 

For a moment, the premise is not so unhappy. It would assuage many malignancies. The duke would no longer be bound to your horrid existence, nor would you be vowed to face ridicule for the years to come. He might even let himself smile to think you gone, if not perished. 

You fall onto a bench and hold your head in your hands. Edith would love these gardens. If it were her, would she invite you to see them? Would she chase you as if you were still girls? Would the duke not fret so much for you, ignore you as so many others do? You would be only an occasional nuisance, not a pair of shackles to constrain him. 

You make yourself sit up as your sister's ghost drifts away from you. You should like to hear her voice one more time. You miss her songs and her laughter. You miss talking to her, the way she listened, the way she never falter at the errant whas or whoas of your affect. 

You rise and set your feet straight. What were those words she said to you? That she believed in you. That you could do this. Perhaps, this is what you wished for. That you take her pain instead. Would the duke have been kinder to her or just as cruel in his resent? 

You promised her. You don't care what you swore to your father or mother, but for Edith, you will do it. You will be as brave as she thought you to be. Even if you aren't. Even if you're terrified. 

You walk without a thought, twisting and turning, eyes set, steps decisive. You march into the open, away from the walls of foliage and into the sunlight that appears from behind the sheet of clouds. You turn your face up. 

You cannot be your sister, you cannot truly replace her. But you can be you and the duke will just have to accept it. After all, how can a second son begrudge a second daughter? The disparity between you is not so great after all. It cannot be if you are to be wed. 

You trod around the front of the estate and shake out your skirts, errant leaves and twigs untangling from the hem. You push your shoulders back as if your mother is their to rebuke your posture and you take the stairs with a straight spine. The doorman once more lets you past and you thank him, aloud, with more than a nod.  

You proceed through, chin up, and ascend the staircase with your eyes ahead, not on your feet. As you come to the top, you do not falter, but another does. You glance over at Lord Laufeyson as he leans back on his heel, scuffing to a halt as you breeze by. He arches a brow and you mimic his expression, a moment of reflection between you before you pass and carry on. 

You do not look back, keeping your shoulders square, and you stop before your rooms. You can sense his silhouette looming by the staircase though you do not know if he watches. You hope that he does and that he sees that you will not disassemble so easily. 

🔹

The banns are read on Sunday. You sit in the pew with your betrothed as he refuses to acknowledge you. It is not as big an insult as he may believe. You are very much acquainted with being ignored. You often prefer it. 

Upon your return to Jade Park, lunch is served. As the meals prior, you remain silent as you sit among the Odinson clan, still yet to be permitted into their ranks.  

Your appetite is as sparse as your voice. You poke at a pastry but don’t taste it. As Lord Laufeyson stirs his tea repetitively, likely out of agitation, you find the clink of the small silver spoon tweaks your already fraught nerves. 

The banns will be read once more; they were first sent to the church the Sunday prior to your departure - and must be proclaimed at least thrice before you are permitted to marry. Should you not undergo the necessary pre-marital purgatory, there may be whispers of scandal. Why should anyone rush a marriage if not for good reason? 

It is certain that you will face gossip at it were. If Lady Jane’s reaction is anything to measure by, not to mention your own fiance, then you wouldn’t like to add to your plate. Your fork sinks through the pastry and scrapes the porcelain egregiously.  

Without hesitation, Lord Laufeyson reaches over to clutch your wrist, “please.” 

You wriggle in his grasp and retract. You put your fork down and hide your hands in your lap. Your stomach is a maelstrom of emotions. Your eyes wander up to meet Odin’s as his own flit away from his son as Frigga chews behind tightly sealed lips. She swallows and clears her throat, taking a sip from her teacup. 

“So, as we await the nuptials, it would be high time for our lovely lady to debut, hm?” She declares as she perches up a little straighter, “it should be done before the wedding, I think. It wouldn’t be very fair to her should she face her wedding guests as a stranger.” 

“If you insist, you may take her to one of your ridiculous luncheons,” Loki taps his spoon on the edge of his saucer and his father sneers. Their eyes meet and the elder tilts his head dangerously. The younger plunks the spoon back in and starts to stir again. 

“Well, Loki, surely you would want to accompany her yourself,” his mother insists, “the Countess Kyringfort is holding a banquet the night after this. Perhaps we all might be free of these walls for an evening.” She offers a gentle smile, “and dear,” she looks at you, “I know you would be grateful for a distraction. Have you any letters from home since?” 

You frown at the elusion to your sister’s tragedy. It’s still raw. At the same, your sadness feels intimate to the point you are possessive of it. How can anyone who didn’t know Edith speak of her as they miss her? They all just mourn what could have been. They could have had a proper lady there in your place. 

“Naw,” the end of the word strays despite your effort, “my motha must be too distwaught to white.” 

Loki sighs and the table jerks on its legs as Odin glowers at his son. The younger flinches and gives a grunt. His father’s eyes narrow dangerously. 

“You will take your betrothed to the banquet and stop being such a petulant child,” Odin grits out. 

“Husband, he hadn’t even said--” Frigga begins.

“She is a gentlewoman. She needn’t his side eye and his sighs,” the grand duke insists. 

You’re struck by his defence of you. Your own father would only have commiserated with Lord Laufeyson’s irritation. Most would share a laugh behind their hands at your expense, and certainly they will at this banquet. 

“Lady Ky—Kyw—Ky--” you begin, trying to get it right. 

“Kyringfort,” Loki utters as if it should be simple. 

“Kywingfowt,” you insist on saying it yourself. If he will not speak to you, he will not speak for you. “I’ve never hawd of haw. You said she is a countess?” 

“Oh, she is lovely,” Frigga preens, “and an old friend, right, Loki?” 

“Yes, so she is,” he agrees, “more fond of my brother than myself.” 

“And who can hardly blame her,” Odin rebukes hotly.  

Laufeyson shakes his head and his brow arches as his nostrils flare dangerously. As unkind as he has been to you, you are empathetic to the constant reprimands from his father. You recall how Lord Thor and Lady Jane also took no issue in reproaching him. If he’d listen, he might learn that you know well what that is like. 

“Yes, he is rather amusing,” Loki mutters. “As eldest sons are given leave to be.” 

“Oh, I’ve never known a groom so gloomy,” Odin retorts. 

Laufeyson scoffs. He stills the spoon and leaves it to rest against the brim, fisting his hand on the tabletop, “do I complain?” 

“You mope like a beat dog,” Odin accuses, “my oh my, a banquet and a new wife, and you act as if you walk to the gallows.” 

“Father, you do always see the worst in me.” 

“I see an unthankful rascal. You have an estate and I ask one thing of you. The same duty of any lord and you would act as a prisoner. Well, son, you have your choice. Find a morsel of gratitude in that blackened heart of yours or seek your place at some parish,” Odin warns as he jabs a butter knife in the air. 

Tension roils in the air between the men as they glare at one another. Laufeyson snarls and it rolls up his throat. Before the noise can become words, you sit forward and touch your throat. 

“If I may, Lawd Odin,” you cheep, your voice nearly whistling in the tightness of your airway, “your son has been vewy hospitable. I have enjoyed my time at Jade Gawdens thus faw and I look fawad to calling it home. It is beautiful.” You glance over at Laufeyson as he watches you with stunned dismay, “and as we awe still stwangas I think we need some time to become ac—acwauinted.” 

You smile as best you can. It is a bitter lie. You don’t know why you should tell it but you feel as if you must. Frigga’s cheeks shake as she holds her smile and Odin scowls. 

“You lie well for him,” he shakes his head, “and still he does not see how fortunate he is.” 

Odin sits back heavily and takes his glass of sherry, downing it in a single swig. Laufeyson picks up his spoon and stirs once more, only to drop it and stand sharply. He brings his hands up, his long fingers extending, and he sputters before swiftly spinning and stomping away. 

“Next time, don’t waste your breath, lady,” Odin chortles, “you’ve better use of it.” 

#loki #dark loki #dark!loki #loki x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #regency au #au #marvel #mcu #avengers #thor #the sticking point

[mossdaggar]

Unemployed Promo Post

Hey y'all, I'm Moss, a queer game designer who heads Brewist Tabletop Games. Late December, I quit a toxic job environment when my mental health was at its lowest. I fortunately had a big game launch just before I did, but I've now been out of work for 6 weeks (I've had interviews and I've got some hope!) and it has left me in the red. I'd love if you'd check out my games or boost this to people who might. <3 A notable release I've had is HELLWHALERS, a TTRPG of nautical and Christian-religious horror. Play as damned whalers hunting a leviathan whale in a bid for redemption in this token and d6 based game. There's even a metacurrency with its own gambling mechanic! I also have Rel1ct, a GMless eldritch body horror solo or duet TTRPG inspired by things like Annihilation and The Color Out of Space. Play with cards and dice in a journaling game that TTRPG reviewer/designer Sam Leigh called a "TTRPG that will wreck you". There's also my experimental gridless tactical TTRPG that is a love-letter to JRPGs and weird math, Infinite Reverie. It's only $9 right now, but the 2nd edition is coming this year, and it'll just go up in price from here. It's complete and playable in v1, but the layout is /bad/. Pip, the other half of Brewist Tabletop Games, is working on a gorgeous and fantastic redo of the game, and you'll want to pick it up before that price jumps! You can also find a draconic duo of games bundled together, Kn1ght and Dr4kk3n, two games about fighting their own respective terrible dragons, but in two very different ways. Kn1ght is a GMless solo or duo journaling game, the original model rules that Rel1ct was based off. Dr4kk3n is a d4 based dungeoncrawl for 3-4 players and a GM built on Caltrop Core engine, pioneered by designer Titanomachy. Regardless of whether or not you can pick them up, all my games can be found at brewisttabletopgames.itch.io, and as a thanks for looking, I'll be adding a few community copies of each of these games. There are also a smattering of pay-what-you-want and small microgames available on our itch as well.

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #ttrpg community #christianity mention

[j-eryewrites]

Please Hold to My Hand

Part Four of A Sinner's Redemption

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST

Previous | Next

Word Count: 11.4k

Warnings: Canon typical violence, gun violence, people, death, gore and injuries, lots of feelings, horrible jokes (that I even laughed at), language. (Let me know if I have missed anything)

Author's Note: Finally! It’s out. I’ve been writing this between classes and really haven’t had time to review the work. Piper is finally letting down some walls and so is Joel! Yay! We get some more flashbacks and of course Ellie and Piper's shenanigans. I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you liked it, I’d love to hear from you either with comments or reposts! Thanks!

Dirty. Piper felt dirty as she stood in the moldy gas station bathroom. Moss grew from the cracks in the ceiling and she was sure the black substance behing the sinks was something otherworldly. Shivering, Piper squeezed her limbs as close as she could to her body making herself as narrow as possible. Behind one of the bathroom stalls was Ellie, taking a bathroom break. 

Piper couldn’t understand how her sister could relax herself enough to use the restroom in a place like this. With the creak and slam of the bathroom stall door, Ellie appeared with a care in the world. Again, Piper shivered and took a step away from her sister as Ellie stepped in front the the broken mirror. 

“Jesus Ellie let’s go,” Piper said before turning around to face her sister. “What are you–” Piper laughed and for a moment she forgot about the disease infested place she was in. 

“Pew, pew. Pew,” Ellie whispered. In her hand was the gun Piper had given from her. 

Piper shook her head at her sister’s antics. “No, no, no. Here’s how you do it.” Stepping forward, Piper reached out a hand to grab hold of the gun, but Ellie pulled away.  

“Hey, let me do my thing,” Ellie begged. 

Rolling her eyes, Piper crossed her arms and sighed. “Well you’ll shoots someone’s eye out. At least take out the bullets.” 

“Hmm,” Ellie hummed not realizing that was an options. She turned the gun around looking for a way to remove the tiny deathly objects in the gun. 

“Here,” Piper muttered as she showed Ellie how to remove them. The young girl watched and took note of everything that her sister did. The dull metallic bullets fell out the cartridge and into Piper’s hand. “See?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah,” Ellie said and she retrieved the gun from her sister’s hand. Once again Ellie raised the gun at the mirror and put on her best menacing face. It was practice for when she actually got to shoot the weapon. In her mind, Ellie wondered if she would be as good of a shot like Piper was. 

“Can we go now?” Piper asked. Her shivers got worse and Piper began to believe she could turn infected from just standing in the bathroom any longer. 

Cocking the gun back, then shoving it deep into her backpack, Ellie nodded and the two girls trudged through the mess and out the doors to the fresh dry air. 

Coming around the corner, they saw Joel just as they had left him; On the ground with one knee raised as support as he blew into a long straw like thing. 

“We have to do this every hour?” Ellie sighed. 

Piper could see Joel was just as annoyed as Ellie when it came to stopping every hour. “Gas breaks down over time. This stuff’s almost water. Back in the day, we’d drive 10, 12 hours on one tank. You could go anywhere,” Joel said. 

“So,” Piper asked, “where’d you go?”

Joel looked up at the two girls. His eyes squinted underneath the bright light of the summer sun. “Pretty much nowhere.” 

“Boring,” Piper muttered before finding a rock to kick around. 

Joel continued blowing into the big straw. 

“Nice!” Ellie leaned in close. “How does that work?”

“It’s a siphon. It’s when liquid…” Joel paused thinking about his words. “travels against gravity because pressure…”

Ellie smirked and chuckled. “You don’t know.”

“I know it works,” Joel quipped back making Ellie laugh even more. 

Once the laughter was over, the young girl soon sought other sources to still her boredom. Lifting her legs up comically into the air, Ellie began to peruse around the rusted cars that Joel was searching for gas from. 

As her eyes followed the rock on the ground as it rolled back and forth, Piper called out to Ellie. “No wandering”

With the biggest sigh she could conjure, Ellie replied. “Okay. This is your fault then.” She warned. Then dropping her backpack to the ground she pulled out a small book. Flipping it open she began to read. “It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.” Briefly, Ellie looked up to gage Joel’s and Piper’s reaction. Laughing, Ellie revealed the cover of the book. “No Pun Intended, Volume Too” by Will Livingston. “Volume Too.” Look. You get it? “Too”? Like, T-o-o.

“Jesus,” Joel grumbled. 

“What did the mermaid wear to her math class?” Ellie paused. “An algae bra. Like, algae bra. Okay, I stayed up all night…”

“No.” Joel tried to interrupt Ellie, stopping her from telling the next horrible joke. 

“wondering where the sun went…,” Ellie continued. “...and then it dawned on me.” 

This joke made Piper laugh. It wasn’t so much the joke, but how much Joel despised them. His face contort with each failed attempt at a joke and it made both of the young girls laugh. 

Joel sat up and glared at the two of them. “Feel free to wait in the truck.”

Piper’s eyes widened at the warning. “Going now,” She mumbled before leaving her rock on the ground for the safety of the boiling hot car. 

“Ugh, okay,” Ellie sighed. “but just know,” the young girl warned, “you can’t escape Will Livingston. He’ll be back. There’s nothing you can do to stop him.” 

As the girls hopped back into the car, Joel returned his mind back to retrieving gas. It was only a few more minutes for the dark liquid shot thorugh the hose into the gas canister and Joel was ever grateful for those few minutes of silence and solace from Will Livingston and his terrible jokes. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Everything was the color of rust. Rust was the color of time and those forgotten and neglected, left to the mercy of nature. It was boiling and there was noting the air conditioning in the car could do. There wasn’t anything in sight except for dirt, sand, and crumbling cars. Even the normally blue sky was tinted a shade of brown. Piper felt like she was stuck in a valley of emptiness, not a living thing around. 

As the car drove further and further down the road, Piper moved her gaze away from the window and instead to the rear-view mirror. There in the mirror she saw something alive, something that kept her alive and going, Ellie. The younger girl sat lazily in the back of the truck using her bag as a head rest. Meanwhile, her hand gripped a pencil dragging it back and forth across a notebook. At least someone was entertained. 

Eventually, Piper brought her sight back onto the endless road in front of her. Cars were pilled high to the sides as if something huge parted the sea of metal carcasses. 

“Must’ve been some truck,” Piper mumbled. 

Joel glanced over the side at the girl. “Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them, and clear the roads for their tanks and such.”

Piper nodded her head in response. It seemed like Ellie had tuned into the conversation, her sketch book forgotten beside her. “I wanna see a tank,” Ellie chirpped as she scanned the sea of vehicles.

“You will,” Joel assured Ellie. “Tanks, choppers, all that stuff. But they’ll fight the wrong enemy. Just scattered around now.”

Bitting the inside of her cheek Ellie pretended to listen beyond the words “You will” before changing the topic. 

“I got somethin’. Here,” Ellie passed up a small tape. Joel, curious, snatched it from her hands. “This make you all nostalgic?”

He had to pull the tape farther away from his face to read the fine print. His eyes pulled into a thin line finally making the words readable. Damn he was getting old. “This is actually before my time,” Joel corrected. 

Ellie’s smile faltered. “Great,” she mumbled. 

A strange tightening in his chest formed at the disappointment in Ellie’s voice and Joel couldn’t help but want to salvage the situation. “It’s a winner, though.” Ellie’s smile was back on her face. Upon seeing her smile, Joel placed the tape into the slot and hit play. 

♪ We met in the springtime when blossoms unfold ♪

Tapping her finger on Piper’s shoulder to the melody of the song, Ellie’s flashed with a wicked glint. Withdrawing her hand and shoving it into her bag she pulled out something new. “Oh, man. Got somethin’ else,” Ellie said. Joel and Piper mindless nodded at her words. “It’s, uh… light on the reading, but it has some interesting pictures.”

As Piper and Joel whipped around Ellie’s smirk grew. 

Gotcha! She thought.

“Oh. No, no, no. Put that back. That’s not for kids. Ellie!” Joel’s and Piper’s voices seemed to blend together as they tired to discourage Ellie from looking further. 

Playing align with the ruse, Ellie buried her face between the pages, getting a good look at the images upon them. “How would he even walk around with that thing?”

“Fuuuckkk,” Piper groaned as she placed her head between her knees.  

“Please get rid of it,” Joel begged. His hand reached back to take the magazine away from her. 

Ellie swatted his hand away. “Hold your horses. I wanna see what all the fuss is about.” She quickly perused the rest of the magazine, except for a few pages. “Why are all these pages stuck together?”

Piper gaged like she was about to throw up. 

“Uhh… the…” Joel was speechless. 

Then Ellie burst out laughing. Her head thrown back as the giggles overcame her small figure. “I’m just fuckin’ with ya.” A window rolled down. Dusty wind blew around the car. “Bye-bye, dude!” Ellie had thrown the magazine to the wind. 

♪ Alone and forsaken by fate and by man ♪ Oh Lord, if you hear me, please hold to my hand ♪ Oh, please understand ♪ Oh, where has she gone to ♪ Oh, where can she be ♪ She may have forsaken some other like me ♪ She promised to honor, to love, and obey ♪ Each vow was a plaything that she threw away ♪ The darkness is fallin’, the sky has turned gray ♪ A hound in the distance is starting to bay ♪ I wonder, I wonder what she’s thinkin’ of ♪ Forsaken, forgotten without any love ♪

꧁_____________꧂ 

The scene had changed now. It was green. There were trees and fields of grass. It was a welcomed changed to the drylands they had just drove through. The air was cooler now and the car wasn’t as hot. Piper could even imagine she was on a real roadtrip driving through the world before the outbreak. She felt normal. 

She pressed a button and the passenger window opened. A brisk air kissed Piper’s face blowing the freed stands of her hair behind her. Yet she wanted more, so she slowly pulled out the hairtie. Her scalp groaned as the pressure was released. Then came the bliss as the wind weaved between the strands of her hair massaging her scalp. Her eyes close shut opening her arms to the comfort the wind gave her. 

A shiver creeped up Joel’s shoulders and he turned his head to Piper. His mouth hung open with his forgotten wish to close the window. She seemed at peace as the music played and wind blew through her hair. She looked like what a kid like her should look like: Brow not filled with the worry of survival, hair not tied up and closed off to the world, happy, calm, and content. A thought of pity grew in Joel’s chest. This is how Piper should be living. Both her and Ellie. Afterall, they’re just kids. Kids with the future of the world on their shoulders. It was a weight they shouldn’t have, that no one should have. Joel knew that better than anyone. 

“All right,” Joel sighed. “That’s enough for today.” 

The wind release Piper’s hair from it’s hold as the window rolled back up. Rocking side to side, the truck turned away from the road into a grassy field. They were headed to the forest up ahead. A forest that would give them shelter for the long night. 

Together, they did their part to unpack and get food started for dinner. Sitting down on the ground, the three of them ate. Piper wasn’t quite sure what they were eating, but it was cold and good. The square like noodles just slide down her throat easing her stomach’s plea for food. It was delicious. 

A slurping noise came from beside her. “Jesus, Ellie. Slow down,” Piper said. 

Ellie was slouched over her bowl devouring the food. Red sauce encased the skin around her mouth. “This is slow,” She mumbled with her mouth full of food. “What am I even eating?” Ellie asked. 

Joel using his fork to point to the food inside his bowl answered. “That is 20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli.” His tone made the two girls think that this was the best food ever created on planet earth. 

Ellie shoved another fork full of food into her mouth. “That guy was good.”

“I actually agree,” Joel added. 

“Hmm…” Piper hummed. “How long we staying out here?”

Placing his bowl down into his lap, Joel replied. “I figure I sleep tonight… and drive tomorrow all day, all night, get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.”

Ellie sighed and rubbed her now fully belly. “So can we start a fire? I’m freezing.”

“No.” There was no hesitation in Piper’s answer. 

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re not in charge, now are you Piper?”

“Hey, hey,” Joel interrupted and waited for the two girls attention to be on him. “Now, why am I gonna tell you no?”

Sinking into the ground with disappointment Ellie answered, her voice as monotonous as they come. “Because Infected will see the smoke.” 

Joel shook his head. “No. Fungus isn’t that smart. This is too remote for Infected, anyway.”

“People?” Ellie guessed. “So what are they gonna do? Rob us?” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice as if being robbed was so horrible. 

It was Piper who spoke next. There was no emotion as she spoke. The peace Joel had seen her face earlier evaprotated and he could almost see the ghosts hiding behind Piper’s brown eyes. “They’ll have way more in mind than that.”

“Okay.” Joel softly said as he observed Piper. There it was again, that same tightness his chest, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to her. Instead he told the girls to hurry up and eat then get ready for bed. 

“Actually smells kinda good,” Ellie commented as she flung her sleeping bag out, laying it onto the ground. 

“Well, that would be Frank’s then,” Joel replied doing the same with his sleeping bag until a shuffling nearby caught his eye. “What are you doing?” Joel asked Piper. 

Her sleeping bag was still bound. Instead, she stood by the truck grabbing something from her bag. It was a gun. 

“Getting ready for watch,” Piper said. Her focus on checking her gun. 

Joel pushed himself off the ground and approached the girl. “No. We’re all sleeping.” 

Piper ignored Joel as she checked the bullets, counting them out. Joel did the only thing he thought would work. Placing his hand on the gun, her forced Piper to lower the weapon and look at him. 

“Trust me,” Joel said. “No one is gonna find us.” His voice was clear and full of comfort. It was the same voice he’d use whenever Sarah cried to him at night about the monsters in her closet. 

The teenager scoffed. “Bullshit…” Yet the longer she looked at Joel, the more she felt like letting go of that gun and letting the walls fall just this once. Her eyes fell to the ground. “jesus fuck…fine.”  

Removing his hand, Joel returned to his sleeping bag. He watched as Piper placed the gun next to her sleeping bag, which now laid out on the ground next to Ellie’s. Eventually the girl did lay down, pulling the covers over her shoulders. Satified Joel followed suit and the lamp light dimmed until it was dark. 

“Joel,” a small voice whispered. “Joel.”

Joel groaned. “What?”

“Can I ask you a serious question?” It was Ellie. 

“Ellie…” Piper warned with a tiredness in her voice. 

“I’m serious!” Ellie said. 

“Yeah,” Joel said giving her the go ahead. 

“Why did the scarecrow get an award?” 

Joel was silent for a moment before he answered. “Because he was outstanding in his field.”

A whispered wave of giggles escaped the two girls. Both of whom didn’t expect the answer. 

“You dick! Did you read this?” Ellie asked a bit louder. 

“No. Now go to sleep.” Joel commanded. 

“Hm,” Ellie mumbled before settling back down. “...Those people you said… there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? No one’s gonna find us.”

With those words, Joel was thrown back into his past and all he could hear was his daughter crying in the dark of her room. All sign of sleep and exhaustion evaded him now. “No one’s gonna find us.”

“Okay. Goodnight Pipes” Ellie whispered. 

“Night Els…,” Piper replied. “...night Joel.” 

꧁_____________꧂ 

There was no way Piper could ever sleep. Her sister’s words floated around her head and Piper had to be sure. Ellie had to be safe. It felt like eternity waiting to hear Joel’s breathing slow. Once the old man had fallen asleep, Piper peeled herself free from her sleeping bag. Each movement was carefully calculated to achieve the least amount of noise as possible. With her gun in hand and jacket zipped up to the top, Piper climbed on top of the truck, finding a seat on the roof of the car. 

She had to admit, the forest was beautiful at night. There was a low chirping noise rumbling throughout the trees. Crickets, Piper guessed and she prayed it wasn’t something more. After a moments, contemplation the teen concluded her original hypothesis was correct and she soon tunned her ear into the other sounds of the night. 

Piper was glad that they had the truck. It proved to be a useful vantage point. Even in the dark, Piper felt as if she could see more of the forest, than she would on the ground bringing the teen comfort. 

The girl and the woods fell into a rhythmic cycle as the minutes passed. There was the cricket’s song, the breeze tickling the trees, and her own breathing. Again, and again this cycle came. Crickets, breeze, breath. Crickets, breeze, breath Crickets, breeze, breath, shuffling. Piper froze. Her head whipped around, and her gun raised defensively. She was ready to shoot. 

“Kid?” A gruff voice spoke. It was Joel. Piper’s shoulders lowered at the sight of the man. “What are you doing?”

Piper didn’t answer for a moment. “On guard.” Not wanting any more conversation, she whirled back around, her sight on the forest once again. 

Joel stood up and his hands found their place on his hips. He looked at Piper as she sat defiantly on the truck. Her back turned to him. The sight almost made him chuckle as he saw himself reflected in her figure. Almost. Instead, a worry fell over him. She was a kid. A kid who deemed sleep just as pointless as him. Releasing his hands from his hips, Joel pinched the bridge of his nose. Piper needed to sleep, but she was stubborn. Just like him and if he guessed now, Piper wouldn’t go to sleep without a fight. 

He was too tired for this and too old to fight a headstrong teenage girl. Instead, Joel kept his mouth shut, picked up his rifle and turned his back to her, guarding the other half of the forest. 

The two held their ground in silence and the forest fell back into the rhythm again. As the pattern repeated, the more Piper felt unease. Sighing, she turned around to find Joel. 

“I’m sorry,” Piper said. She wasn’t even sure why she said it, but she knew she needed to. 

Joel turned his head around at her voice. He wasn’t sure why she apologized yet still he replied. “It’s fine.”

Silence fell over them again and Piper bit the inside of her cheek. It was awkward to say the least. She waited, but then realized Joel wasn’t going to say anymore, so she turned back around. 

“...the stars…are nice,” Joel noted.

Piper looked up for the first time that night. There they were. The stars were breathtaking. She hadn’t ever seen them that clear. “Yeah,” she agreed. Together, Joel and Piper withdrew their attention from the forest to the sky. “You know, Ellie is a fanatic for the stars, space, whatever else is up there.”

Joel glanced at Piper and there he saw it once more. The very expression in the car he saw on her face, now bloomed under the night sky. There was the kid she should be. 

“...that one, the one that looks like a demented spider. Apparently its called Hercules.” Piper pointed up into the sky.

“Huh,” Joel hummed. 

“Yeah, that’s about all I know. Ellie, I swear, knows them all.”

Joel tore his eyes away from the demented spider constellation. “Kid, you should get some sleep,” Joel suggested. 

“In your dreams, Joel.” 

꧁_____________꧂ 

It was official. Ellie hated sleeping outdoors. This was the second time she woke up with a knot in her back. Groaning she pushed herself off the cold ground of the forest. Looking around, she saw the rolled up sleeping bags nearby. 

“Look who’s finally awake,” Piper commented as she walked by Ellie carrying her supplies to the truck of the car. 

Ellie waved her middle finger in the air for Piper to see earning a laugh from her sister. Soon the young girl’s stomach began to rumble. Fueled by her hunger, Ellie crawled over to the pots and dishes piled together hoping to find something to munch on. 

Lifting a lid, she found a boiling liquid. Taking a brief sniff, she pulled back and slammed the lid back on. “Ugh! The fuck is that?”

“You don’t like coffee?” Joel asked.

Whipping her head around to face him, Ellie replied. “If it smells like that, no.” Piper walked up beside her sister and crouched down, lifting up the lid to the coffee pot. Ellie saw the darkened circles underneath her sister’s eyes. “How’d you sleep?” Ellie asked Piper. 

“Like shit,” Piper replied. She eyed the coffee. “Can I have some?” Joel nodded and Piper grabbed a cup and poured the black liquid into it. She raised the cup to her lips and drank. 

Ellie gagged. “You are no longer my sister.”

Piper chuckled. “You’ll get it one day.” Ruffling Ellie’s hair, Piper stood back up to help Joel finish packing the truck. 

“Is that seriously what those Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” Ellie questioned. 

“Well, theirs was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but, yeah, this is what they sold,” Joel explained.

Ellie shook her head. “Smells like burnt shit.”

Piper laughed once more. “Alright, hurry up and eat. We’ve gotta leave soon.” Leaving Ellie, to scavenge once more for food amongst the pile of  dishes, Piper sipped her coffee. She hoped that maybe the caffeinated liquid would keep her sinking eyes awake and the exhaustion in her bones far away.  

꧁_____________꧂ 

“Eyes on the map,” Joel instructed. His voice clear and firm.  

Piper shot up in her seat. Her eyes wide open. She observed she was in the car. The vehicle hummed as it traveled along the road and Piper couldn’t recall how she even got into the car in the first place.

“Alright,” Joel said as the car pulled off to the side of the road, coming to a stop. When the shift stick was in park, Joel turned to the back seat. “Ellie, switch with Piper.”

Shaking her head, Piper replied. “No, I’m fine, just–”

“In the back,” Joel said and Piper knew she couldn’t fight him on this. 

Unbuckling her seat belt, Piper reluctantly opened the passenger side door and crawled into the back. On the other hand, Ellie was esctatic to sit up in the front next to Joel. Jumping in her seat and getting a feel for the cushioned leather, Ellie beamed. 

“Wow, it’s so much nicer up here. I’m never sitting in the back again!” 

Just as Ellie was about to fiddle with the stereo, Joel shoved the map into her hands. 

“Here.” Joel pointed to the map. “We’re here and need to go here. Remember.”

Ellie’s eyes narrowed, following Joel’s thick finger as it danced across the map. “76 west and then… 70 west for, like, ever.”

“Yep. Now eyes on the map.”

Rolling her eyes, Ellie glanced back down at the map. Her small fingers ran along the path that Joel had shown her moments before. Each time she got to the end, the image in her mind only grew more potent until Ellie was confident she could recite the map from memory. However, there was only so much of “eye on the map” she could take and soon Ellie diverged her attention elsewhere. 

First, she experimented with the rearview mirror. It wasn’t something Joel particularly needed, so Ellie had free rein, so long as she didn’t annoy the old man. The small rectangular mirror, let her see the dusty road behind her. She ogled as the cloud of dust rippled out behind the truck clouding the green scenery behind her. Soon Ellie discovered that the mirror could move, tilting up and down and side to side. She tilted the mirror to look at Joel for a brief moment before she caught his glare. Quickly, she turned the mirror to herself. She extended her legs, leaned in close, and chuckled. Her face looked more stretched out than it normally did, and her eyes looked funky. 

Ellie could have looked at herself for god knows how long if it weren’t for the pothole the truck conveniently rolled over. Thumping down in her seat with a huff, Ellie found a new target in the rearview mirror. Piper was fast asleep. Her body limp as her head rested on the stacked up sleeping bags in the back seat. Ellie thought Piper looked weird sleeping. It seemed against her older sister’s nature to relax and be at peace. Afterall, Piper was always on guard with a battle happening deep in the pit of her eyes. Yet, the sight of her sister asleep in the back seat created a warm feeling in Ellie’s chest. Even if the sight of Piper in a dormant state was bizarre, Ellie knew it’s what her sister need. It’s what Piper deserved. 

“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?” Ellie found herself asking now that the mirror was back in place after Joel corrected the tilt. 

“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody,” Joel replied. 

Nodding Ellie peered down at the map scanning the tiny words and roads for Cody. “Cody, Cody. Ah, man. That is deep up in there.” 

“Yeah,” Joel said. 

“...And if he’s not there?”

“Then odds are he’ll be near a settlement, probably close to another city out there. Ain’t too many of ’em in Wyoming,” Joel explained. 

Soon, Ellie found herself finding the other cities in Wyoming. “Chee-Yen,” she read aloud. 

“Cheyenne,” Joel corrected. 

Ellie’s eyes widened at Joel’s correction. It couldn’t be right. “Che… really?”  Joel nodded. Ellie continued to look for cities. “Cheyenne… Laramie… Casper? What’s his name?”

“Whose name?” Joel wondered. 

“Your brother,” Ellie clarified. 

Joel breathed in deeply before answering the curious girl. “Tommy.”

“Younger or older?” Ellie curiously asked. 

“Younger.”

Peering back at Piper, Ellie asked yet another question. “Why isn’t he with you?” Afterall, her and her sister were always side by side. Never apart and always together. 

“A long story,’ Joel said hoping that it would satisfy Ellie. It did not. 

Ellie scanned the map once more. “Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that’s what we got.”  She peered up at Joel with the most convincing eyes she could conjure.

Joel could feel her expectant gaze on him. Biting his tongue, he continued to drive in silence until Ellie’s stare grew too much.  Finally, Joel “Tommy’s what we used to call a ‘joiner.’ Dreams of becomin’ a hero. So he enlisted in the Army right outta high school. A few months later, they ship him off to Desert Storm. It’s what they called that war. It doesn’t matter. Point is, bein’ in the Army didn’t make him feel much like a hero. Cut to 12 years later, outbreak happens. He convinces me to join a group makin’ their way up to Boston, which I did… mostly to keep an eye on him, keep him alive. It’s where we met Tess. And that whole crew, we, uh… Well, for what it was, it worked. And then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him into joinin’ the Fireflies. Same mistake he made when he was 18. Wants to save the world. Pipe dream. Him, Fireflies, all of ’em… delusional. ‘Course, last I heard, he quit the Fireflies, too. So now he’s on his own out there, and… I gotta go get him.”

“If you don’t think there’s hope for the world, why bother going on?” Ellie asked. Joel glanced at her with his brows raised. “I mean, you gotta try, right?”

He shook his head. “You haven’t seen the world, so you don’t know. You keep goin’ for family. That’s about it.”

“I’m not family,” Ellie blurted.

“No…,” Joel paused to look at the young girl next to him. “You’re cargo. And I made a promise to Tess. And she was like family.” There was a flash of change in Ellie’s expression. “But you have Piper. Piper’s your family.”

“Yeah she is,” Ellie said with a dejected tone. “You know she reminds me of you.”

“How so?” Joel wondered as his eyes glanced into the mirror to catch sight of the sleeping teen. 

“You’re going for Tommy. Piper goes for me.” Ellie said. “What if you don’t find him?”

“I will.”

“How do you know?” There was a challenge in the young girls voice.

“I’m persistent,” Joel answered. 

Ellie smiled. “Yep, exactly like Piper.”

There was an uneasy feeling growing in the pit of Joel’s stomach at Ellie’s conclusion. It was to similar to the thought he buried deep in the back of his head. Piper was like Joel. It was something he didn’t want. Piper shouldn’t be like him. Joel was damaged, old, broken, and cruel with walls built as high as some of the skyscrapers that existed before the Outbreak. Piper was a teenage girl. She was still a kid. She shouldn’t be like him at all. 

“Ya got up pretty early,” Joel mentioned. “If you wanna grab more sleep like Piper…”

Ellie waved Joel off. “Pfft. I’m not even tired.”

“Sure,” Joel said trying to fight of a smirk. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

A quiet snore escaped the young girls mouth as she dozed off in the passenger seat. The smirk on Joel’s face finally won when Ellie had closed her heavy eyes. It was now peaceful in the car with the two girls sleeping. Their inhales and exhales were in tandem. Both of their faces were calm as the mid-day dreams over came them. 

Joel’s momentary peace and quiet was never meant to last. Soon, there was a stirring in the back seat and a head of dark brown hair sat up. Piper’s hair had frizzed up in her slumber and the young teen tried to soothe the mess with her hands before giving up. 

“How long I was out?” Piper asked as the sleep slowly left her voice. Her eyes scanned the scenes passing by the car windows. 

Turning his head back to face her, Joel replied, “A few hours.”

Piper nodded before carefully peering over the front seat to find her sister fast asleep. “How long has she been out?” 

“Not very long,” Joel said. 

“Hmm…,” Piper couldn’t help but softly smile at Ellie as she brushed some stray hairs from her sister’s face. “Where are we now?” Piper grabbed the map from Ellie’s hands. 

“Not far from Kanas City,” Joel explained. 

She scanned the map and her surroundings for any signs to signify where they were. It didn’t take long for the teen to estimate their spot along the highway. Joel was right. They weren’t far from Kanas City. “We should go around,” Piper whispered. 

Joel’s brows raised as his ears caught Piper’s words. “What do you mean?”

Piper solemnly glanced out the window. Her eyes darted back and forth as the sight flew by them. “Heard the QZ is horrible. Definitely not a place we want to be.” Once she had finished speaking, Piper had grown eerily quiet.  

Joel wanted to say something. To ask if she was okay, but his vocal chords refused to make a sound. Soon the shuffling of the girl in the passenger seat drew everyone’s attention.

Piper smiled. “Hey there sleepy head.”

Ellie’s eyes closed and opened as they adjust to the harsh light of the day. “Fuck you,” she groaned. Her response made Piper laugh, but her laugh was cut short by the slowing of the truck. 

The teen hadn’t been aware of how close they actually were to Kanas City. The road between all the cars and trucks was significantly more narrow than before. In front of them was an obvious barricade. They weren’t able to drive through this. Piper’s jaw clenched as she watched Joel unbuckle his seat. She wanted to tell him to drive back and go around the city. She was sure she saw a route they could take, but it was Joel’s voice that spoke instead. 

“Stay put,” Joel told the girls. 

Piper and Ellie watched the man look around the cars and underneath the larger trucks before he trekked back with a scowl on his face. 

Fuck, the girls thought. 

“Where are we?” Ellie asked as soon as Joel got back into the car. 

“Kansas City,” Joel grumbled. He motioned for the map and Piper placed it in his hands. 

“How far back do we have to go to get around this?” Ellie peered over Joel’s shoulder as worry spread across her face. 

Joel sighed looking at the map. They’d have to turn around and drive a few hours just to get around the barricade. To Joel, it wasn’t worth it. Tommy was waiting. Time was precious. “Screw it.” Without another word, Joel pulled away from the barricade and drove the car onto the exit ramp. The road led straight to Kanas City. 

Panic filled Piper’s being. “What are you doing?!” She yelled at Joel, “No, no, Joel. Away from the city. I’ve heard some things back in Boston QZ, we don’t–”

He knew the fear in Piper’s expression well, but a teenager’s fears weren’t going to add more time onto their trip than needed. “We can jog right around this tunnel… take the next ramp… and we’re back on the road. Minute tops,” he hurriedly explained to calm the girl. 

Piper glared at Joel as she bit her lip. Tears began to well up in her eyes from the pain. The disturbing turning in her gut only got worse as they drove deeper and deeper into the city and the only comfort she could find was gripping the handle of her gun. 

“Where the fuck is the highway?!” Joel fumed. His eye frantically over the map and then the road in front of him. 

Ellie did her best to help. “I can’t tell from this. I’m all turned around!” 

“Don’t look at the state map, Ellie. Look at the inset.” Piper was on the verge of snapping. “That there!”

The younger girl’s voice began to break. “Well, I don’t know where we are in that either! This is my second day in a fucking car. I mean, I think we’re heading north?”

“It’s gotta be the right,” Joel muttered, before swerving the car to the right. 

The car jolted everyone as Joel tried find a way out of the labyrinth like city. 

“Stop!” Ellie hollered. 

The car came to a halt. Tires screeched and Piper barely had time to brace herself on Ellie’s seat. “What the fuck?” She asked her sister. Ellie just stared at pointed out the window. 

“Is that the QZ?” Ellie asked. Everyone was now looking at the burned down gate. Smoke was still in the air. “Where the fuck is FEDRA?”

Piper wanted to spew. “Joel–” 

“Hey! Please help!” The voice came from outside the car. It was a man. His right leg hung limp behind him and his arms waved in the air. 

Her eyes widened and, using her free hand, she grabbed Joel’s shoulder with a painful grip. “Joel, we need to get the fuck out of here!”

Joel’s eyes darkened. “Put your seatbelt on,” he said with a low voice. 

Ellie searched his eyes. “Aren’t we gonna help him?”

“No,” Piper and Joel said simultaneously. 

There was a click. Then a stomp. Soon the car jumped forward as Joel pressed his foot down on the gas. The truck was headed straight for the man. 

“Joel! Reverse!” Piper screamed.

“Fuck!” the man yelled as he jumped out of the way. “Go, go, go!”

In an instance, there was a deafening thud. The car slid. Joel turned the wheel to a nearby building’s glass doors. Gun shots fired. Their heads ducked down as they braced for impact. With a crash, the car came to a halt. 

“Fuck,” Joel groaned. He turned to Ellie. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ellie wheezed. 

Quickly, he turned to Piper. “You’re not hurt? Nothin’?”

Piper shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

Their momentary relief was destroyed by bullets firing. They had hit the truck’s windows. 

“Belts off. Fast!” Joel shouted. 

The girls did not waste time unbuckling the seat belts and opening the doors of the truck. 

“Let’s see you, motherfucker! Give us your shit, you make it through this! I promise!” One of the raiders yelled. 

Once all of them had left the truck and found brief cover, Joel looked around the room. “Hey, you see that hole?” He pointed to a small hole in the drywall. “Can you two squeeze through?”

Ellie and Piper followed Joel’s hand. With one scan of the hole, they knew they could fit. 

“Last chance!” the raider snarled. 

“When I say go, you crawl to that wall, and you squeeze through, and you don’t come out until I say, okay?” Joel instructed the teens. 

Ellie nodded her head. The shock evident in her eyes. 

Piper shook hers. “No, let me help.” She raised her gun up for Joel to see. 

Joel growled and his jaw clenched. “This is not a negotiation. You’re going.”

A gun shot echoed around the room. They seemed to be getting louder and louder with each fire. Ellie felt her legs go limp and a cold sweat over come her body. 

“they’re not gonna hit you. Look at me!” Joel told Ellie, “They’re not gonna hit you.”

Bang!

“You stay down, you stay low, you stay quiet,” Joel explained and Ellie absently nodded her head. 

“I’ve got you Els,” Piper whispered to her sister. 

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie hummed back with tears in her eyes. 

“Okay,” Piper said before turning to Joel and nodding. 

“Okay,” Joel commanded. “Go!”

Immediately, Piper shot off the ground and grabbed Ellie’s jacket collar dragging her along. They stayed low to the ground until they reached the hole. “Come on, go!” Piper yelled before shoving Ellie through the hole.

Bang! 

Piper cried out in pain as she examined her shoulder. She was shot. The bullet had grazed her arm. “Fuck!” She cried before crawling through the hole. 

Another shot was fired. 

“Fuck! You motherfucker!” One of the raiders screamed. 

There was another shot and Piper could hear the sounds of guns falter. Joel was doing it. He was taking them out one by one. 

Crunch. 

Glass had been broken and there was heavy breathing. It was breathing that did not belong to the old man. A shadow covered the hole. Ellie’s eyes widened and Piper pulled her back against the wall. 

There was a grunt. “Now you’re gonna fuckin’ pay! What you fuckin’ did, you fuckin’ killed yourself, motherfucker!” A raider yelled. The girls could hear the voice so clearly. 

Bang.  

Something had run into the wall. Piper flinched and Ellie was no longer by her side. Turning her head, she saw her sister at the hole. Her gun in hand. 

“Ellie, no,” Piper pleaded as Joel struggle with the raider. 

Ignoring her sister, Ellie crawled through the wall. 

“Fuck,” Piper groaned before following her sister out the hole. 

The sight in front of her was pure chaos. Joel had his head tilted back with a long rifle underneath his chin. Behind him stood a raider. Piper didn’t care to note the specifics about him except for the fact he was choking Joel. It wouldn’t have been long before Joel would lay unconscious on the floor of the abandoned laundromat. 

A clear shot rang through the air. The raider fell to his knees. The rifle choking Joel was gone. Ellie had shot the man. Her shoulders were stiff and her eyes were cold. Her skin was paler than white as the gun followed the man as he dragged himself across the floor. 

The demeanor in the raider had flipped. Tears screamed down his eyes as the violence in his voice fled. It was replaced by terror as he pleaded with Ellie. 

“No, no, no, no, no! It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s over. We’re not fighting anymore. I’m gonna go home. I’ll tell everyone you’re good,” his voice broke as a cry escaped his lips. “I don’t know what to do. My legs don’t work. My mom isn’t far, if you could get me to her. We could trade with you guys. We could be friends. I didn’t know.” Ellie stood unwavering. “I’m Bryan. I’m Bryan. What’s your name?” Bryan whimpered. 

Joel stepped forward. “Wait, wait, wait!” Bryan pleaded, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife. “You can have it… It’s a good knife.” He tossed the knife to Ellie. It fell to the ground beside her feet. 

“Get back behind the wall,” Joel muttered to Ellie. He was still out of breath. His hand came to her shoulder, breaking her from her trance. Lowering the gun, Ellie turned her back to Bryan and crawled back through the wall. “Kid,” Joel said to Piper. 

“I’m not a kid,” Piper whispered. With Ellie’s gun was quickly replaced by Piper’s. Joel’s eyes widened. 

Bryan’s cried got louder. It annoyed Piper. Someone who moments before seemed to strong, now was at her feet begging for mercy. Something she didn’t have. Not anymore. “No, no, no, no! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please, please. We could just talk. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please, please. No, no, no! Please! No, please! Please! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please! You don’t have to! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please! No, no, no! We can just talk! Mom! Mom! Mom!” 

Piper’s heart clenched at Bryan’s call for his mother. It was a brief moment, before her finger squeezed. A shot thundered around the room. Then there was silence and a small hole in the forehead of what used to be Bryan. Piper wanted to revel in it, but instead she felt sick. Swallowing down the rising bile, she lowered her gun. In the silence, adjusted the straps of her backpack and moved to the hole in the wall. 

“Let’s go,” she mumbled. 

“I can’t fit through,” Joel said. 

Piper sighed and grabbed her shoulder massaging the pain. “There’s a door to the next room just around the corner.”

Joel nodded as he shuffled around to the door before turning the knob. The door didn’t open. It wasn’t locked, but it just didn’t open. 

“There’s some stuff against the door,” Ellie voiced. 

“Well, can you move it?” Joel asked. 

“Uh…yeah.”

It didn’t take long for Joel to hear scrapping and shuffling behind the door. Soon the blockage was free and the door swung open. Joel stepped inside and closed the door behind him and darkness flooded the room. 

“You okay?” Joel asked to either girl.

Piper didn’t answer. Ellie did. “I’m okay… I’m good. I, uh, got some food in here still, and I got your light still.” Ellie handed Joel the light. “What now?”

“We go up,” Joel answered. 

Ellie looked up at Joel. “To get a better look?”

Joel nodded. “Hopefully, we spot a clear route out.” Leaning back, Joel peered out the door, briefly shutting it. His eyes flitted between the girls. 

“Ready?” He asked. 

Ellie nodded. The two of them turned to Piper. The elder teen gripped her gun close and raised her head up an down. 

Light spilled into the room. The bright light momentarily blinded the three of them as they rushed outside. Their bodies crouched down low as they ran. One fact rang clear in their minds. They had to get far away from here. Some place safe, although it seemed as if they’d never be safe again.

꧁_____________꧂ 

“You fingers go here and then…Piper are you listening to me?” Levi asked with a knowing smile on his face. 

“Huh? Oh yeah. Totally,” Piper chirped back. 

“Right. How was I telling you to hold the gun?” Levi knew Piper’s reaction before the guilt on her face could manifest. 

“Like…this?” Piper fiddled with the gun in her hand and Levi shook his head. 

“No. Here,” Levi said as he reached over to fix Piper’s grip on the gun. Fingers go here and use both hands.”

“But that’s not how–,” Piper muttered. 

“I know that’s how you were taught by FEDRA. It’s wrong. Now listen to me sweetheart,” Levi continued on with his demonstration. “...Soon enough you’ll be able to shoot.” 

After some adjustments, Piper finally mastered her grip on the gun. Levi beamed. “See, now. I want you to try your hand at shooting. Don’t be afraid to miss.” 

Piper huffed and moved her feet to a better stance, the very one she saw Levi take when he used his gun. Her small eyes narrowed to the targets on the other end of the room. They were old beer bottles, but viable targets nonetheless. Taking a slow breath in, Piper pulled her finger back, trigger the gun to fire. She missed. 

“Fuck,” Piper hissed. 

Levi chuckled. “Hey, what did I say? You can miss. You’re safe here. You miss here so that when your shot counts, you don’t miss. Got it?”

The young girl nodded before turning to look back at the targets. Piper puffed her cheeks with disappointment. She wanted to hit the target. She wanted to never miss again. She wouldn’t make a shot that night. She wouldn’t make a shot until it counted. Yet, time and time again, she heard Levi’s voice saying, “Try again,” and she’d get back up to fire once more. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Refuge was found in a broken down bar. The windows were sealed with old newspapers. To pass the time, Ellie tried to read the clippings. Some were stories about dead people. Boring. Then there were some stories about what the local school board was doing. Also boring. As she jumped from story to story, Ellie concluded that the news was boring. Instead she took to peeking out the window in the cracks where the news didn’t cover. 

“They’re not FEDRA, and they’re not Fireflies, so who are they?” Ellie asked. She peered up at Joel who was also looking out the window. 

“People,” Joel grumbled. 

Ellie nodded and drew her knees in close. Her tiny body crumpled together on the wooden floor. “Are we okay in here?” Ellie’s voice was small. 

Joel’s ear’s perked at the sound of uncertainty in Ellie’s voice. He withdrew from the window and sat down on an abandoned chair. “For a little bit, maybe. Looks like they’re checkin’ out apartment buildings first. But they’ll be coming through these places soon enough.”

There was a sigh from the corner of the room. Piper’s head fell back against the wall. “There’s a really tall building, like, four blocks away,” she noted. Her long dark hair fell to the side as her eyes cast down. She had lost her hair tie a while back during the chaos of running from building to building. 

"Yeah. Saw it,” Joel said. 

Ellie sat up and peeked out the window once more. Her brown eyes darted around until they landed on the building, she believed Joel and Piper were discussing. “So that’s the one?” She pointed to the building. 

“As soon as we don’t hear a truck, we move,” Joel instructed. “Fast as we can.” There was a loud hum as an armoured truck drove by and Ellie ducked down. The group froze as they listened. Their shoulders were tensed and backs stiff. 

The rumbling of the trucks dispersed and a laboured groan escaped Piper’s mouth. 

“Are you okay?” Joel asked. He was now standing up and moving towards the young teen. 

Piper made a noise that was a mix of a scoff and a snicker. “I’m not the one you should be asking.”

Joel groaned at Piper’s stubbornness. “You were shot, weren’t you?”

“No.” Piper shook her head. 

“I saw you got s–,” Joel rebutted. 

“The bullet grazed me!” Piper heaved. “It’s not the end of the fucking world. I’m fine.” She squeezed her arm in hopes to divert the pain. “Ellie, how are you doing?” Piper tensely asked. 

“I’m alright,” Ellie replied. “Joel?”

Roughly running his hands through his peppered hair, Joel answered Ellie. “Yeah.” Taking a few more steps closer to Piper, Joel crouched down. His body only a few feet away from the girl. “Thing is, is I didn’t hear that guy comin’, and… you shouldn’t have had to… both of you shouldn’t have had to…you know?”

“Well, you’re glad we did,” Piper concluded. 

Joel shook his head. He was glad to be alive, but not at the expense of child. “You’re just a kid,” Joel pinched his nose. “You shouldn’t know what it means to… But… shootin’ or… I know what it’s like… first time that you, uh, hurt… someone like that. If you, uh… w… uh…I’m not good at this,” Joel confessed. 

“Yeah, you really aren’t,” Ellie commented. 

“I mean, it was my fault,” Joel apologized. You shouldn’t have had to. And I’m sorry.”

Those two words echoed in Piper’s head. They were such simple and unthreatening words, yet their delivery broke down her walls. I’m sorry. Piper gulped and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. I’m sorry. A new ache formed in her body at the sound of the words and the pain from her shoulder only dulled in comparison to the pain of her heart. I’m sorry. Instantly, her vision grew blurry, and against her will, a few tears escaped and trailed down her dirtied cheeks. 

“It wasn’t my first time,” Piper sniffled . She looked up forcing the tears away. 

“Right. Show me your grip,” Joel looked at Piper and never for a moment did he dwell on her tears. Piper was grateful for that as she pulled out her gun and showed Joel her grip. He took a step closer to check. “Good.” Then Joel turned to Ellie asking her to do the same. “Finger off the trigger. Now, who taught you that?” Joel asked Ellie. 

“FEDRA school,” Ellie mumbled. 

“Figures. Your thumb…over your thumb. Left hand… squeezes down on the right. You got it?”  Ellie nodded. Suddenly, Joel’s hand reached out and tried to yank away Ellie’s gun. Her grip stayed unwavering. “There ya go. Look,” Joel noted. 

Piper smiled as Ellie’s grin grew from Joel’s praise. 

“How come you didn’t check Piper’s grip?” Ellie asked Joel. 

Piper chirped up before Joel could reply. “FEDRA didn’t teach me to shoot,” She said and all elements of a smile has vanished. 

Joel looked back at Piper before standing up. The joints in his knees and hips were displeased at this sudden movement. His movement created a wave of action from the other girls. Piper stood up and Ellie placed her gun in her hand. 

Tapping Ellie on the shoulder, Joel shook his head. “Uh-uh. You’ll shoot your damn ass off.”

Piper snickered. “Be fucking hilarious.” 

Ellie whipped her head around to face her sister. “You fucker.” 

“Hurry it up, girls,” Joel grumbled as he retrieved his things. The girls quit their bickering to do just as Joel had. 

Soon enough, the three of them were standing at the door. They shared a cautious breath as they awaited Joel’s cue. 

“We’ll get through this,” Joel found himself saying. His eyes flashed with worry as he glanced at the weary expressions on the girl’s faces. 

Ellie shrugged her backpack and looked up at Joel. “We know.” 

For a moment, they waited. All their ears tunned into the sounds of the world outside the degenerating bar. With bated breathes they stood. Ellie gripped the straps of her bag tightly finding comfort in the constriction. Piper stood low behind Joel. The pain in her arm was now blaring at her. She clenched her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to subside. All Piper had to do was wait it out. Soon they’d be safe. Soon they’d be out of this god forsaken city. 

“Go,” Joel commanded. The door shut behind them and a bar was left empty once more. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Joel was old. It was a fact that he knew quite well. It seemed to be Joel’s downfall that he was old in a world that favored the young. Especially when it came to survival. Except now, Joel had youth on his side, except this youth seemed…well, partially incompetent. 

“You’re just gonna put your foot here,” Joel explained. “One, two…” With all his strength he raised Ellie into the air. The young girl’s arms flailed around trying to find stability. 

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” Ellie cursed. 

Piper couldn’t contained her laughter as she watched Joel and Ellie struggle. 

Joel huffed and rolled his eyes at Piper’s reaction. “You could always help.”

“Nah, you’ve got it,” Piper replied. 

Ellie cried out as Joel’s muscles struggled to keep her up. “Straighten up. I got you,” Joel said. 

It took a moment, but then Ellie followed Joel’s advice. Her hands reached the opening and her fingers scrounged around for a grip. It didn’t take long for the weight on Joel’s shoulders and arms to lessen. 

“Okay, I’m in.” Ellie’s voice echoed around the opening. 

“Take a look around first. Ellie.” Joel instructed. There was silence from the other side. “God damn it,” Joel muttered. 

“Hey, that's my sister,” Piper reprimanded the old man. 

As if on cue, a nearby steel door swung open and Ellie’s head appeared. “Where would you be without me, huh?” Ellie smiled. 

“By now, Wyoming,” Joel responded as he walked passed Ellie into the building. 

Ellie’s shoulder’s dropped. “Oh, yeah. Walked into that one.”

Once they were all in the stairwell, Joel at the two girls. “All right. We’ll make our way up, and come morning, I’ll take a look at the city, and find our way out.”

A large white sign flared in the dark of the stairwell, illuminated by the flashlights of the group. Ellie groaned upon reading the mixture of numbers and words on the metallic surface. “We’re goin’ up 42 flights?”

“Forty-five,” Joel corrected and then shook his head. “But no… not all the way.”

Piper slumped against the concrete wall with a bang. The contents of her backpack were squished between her and the unmoving force of the wall. “Jesus. How far?”

The man’s brow furrowed with thought as he calculated an answer for the girls. “As far as I can make it.” 

And so their ascent up the stairs began. Their footsteps clambered along the thick walls echoing to and fro. The stair case had a supreme level of acoustics. It was a fact acknowledged by all three of them, especially Ellie. By floor ten, the young girl’s thigh muscles contracted and with each step the burning sensation only grew stronger. In her mind she prayed Joel could only take so many more. Afterall, he was old. However, Ellie realized she had misjudged Joel’s determination and strength by floor seventeen. Her body was heating up and sweat oozed out of her skin. She was suffering, and it seemed like no one else was. Piper stood stoically as she climbed each step. The only hint of their physical stress was a slight shade of pink that tinted her cheeks. On the other hand, Joel’s brow shimmered under the light of his flashlight. He was sweating. He was feeling the effects of their activities. He was suffering, but not enough. 

“What did the policeman say to his belly button?” Ellie asked with a devious smile as she watched Joel’s shoulder’s slump with defeat. 

Piper snorted before rolling her eyes at Ellie. “I don’t know…um…hi?”

“Nope,” Ellie bit her lip trying to contain her laughter. “You’re under a vest!” 

“Jesus,” Joel mumbled and Piper wasn’t sure if it was a prayer or a curse. 

The stairs now echoed a new sound, Ellie’s giggles. “Okay, okay. Next one.” She cleared her throat. “What’s the difference between a well-dressed person on a unicycle and a poorly dressed person on a bike?” Dark brown eyes darted to Piper and Joel for any hint of an answer. “No one? Okay,” and throwing on her best posh accent, Ellie drove the punch line home. “Attire.”

Again, the young girl was thrown into a fit of giggles as Joel grumbled to himself occasionally sending her a warning glare when he broke free from his elderly annoyance of the youth present. 

With each joke Ellie delivered, the laboured and steadfast demeanor Piper held up slowly chipped away. She wasn’t sure if it was the fact her body no longer had the will to fight against the abominable two-liner jokes, or if it was the sight of Ellie at such ease and joy from tormenting her and Joel. Although, Piper had to admit seeing Joel at such loose level of discomfort was quite funny. It was moments like these she had to remember when Joel would eventually discard her and Ellie just like everyone else. 

“Ooo! This one. Okay,” Ellie cleared her throat. “What did the fisherman say to the magician?” She paused waiting for the internal drum roll to conclude. “Pick a cod, any cod.” 

Piper sinched her lips together to contain the outburst waiting to pop. She was so focused on not laughing that she almost ran into Joel. The man had stilled and with his hands on his hips he glowered down at the girls with an unknown look in his gaze. 

“No more jokes,” Joel said. 

“Okay, just trying to lighten the mood,” Ellie mumbled as she shoved her joke book into her back pocket. 

Upon seeing the book placed away, Joel collected his breath and the marched up the stairs continued. 

They had passed four more floors when Ellie spoke again. “Hey, you know that guy who said he was hurt?” She waited for Joel’s acknowledgement. “How did you know it was an ambush?”

Joel’s chest rose pushing his shoulder close to his ears. “I’ve been on both sides.” He glanced back at caught Piper’s knowing stare. “It was a long time ago. We did what we needed to survive.”

“You and Tess?” Ellie asked. It was strange to think of Joel and Tess like the man who attacked them. They were protectors and that’s all Ellie had known them to be. She didn’t think she could imagine Tess hurting anyone. Joel on the other hand, she could see it…sort of. 

“And the people we were with,” Joel explained. “My brother, too.”

Ellie took in a shaking breath, which she blamed on the physical exertion. “Did you kill innocent people?” Her voice faltered. 

Joel was silent. 

“Ellie,” Piper interjected. “Save your breath for the stairs.”

Joel’s jaw unclenched at Piper’s words. He was grateful for her interruption. He knew the answer and it was not an answer he wanted to tell Ellie. In a world full of death and decay around everyone corner, sometimes all you could do was kill. So, yes. Yes, Joel had killed innocents. Back then he wasn’t ashamed. He did it to survive. He had to. Now…now Joel just wanted to lie. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

The stairwell door slammed open and Ellie toppled inside. Her knees hit the carpeted floor as breath hit her lungs like a tidal wave. “Holy shit,” she tiredly said. 

Piper plopped down next to her throwing her head between her knees. “Yeah,” she agreed. 

“Thirty-three floors ,” Ellie barely voiced. “That’s good.”

“It’s gonna have to be,” Joel panted. He placed his coarse hand on the wall for stability. Everything burned: his lungs, his calves, his thighs, hell, even muscles he didn’t know existed burned in a frenzy. 

Pushing herself off the floor, Piper crawled to a standing position. “Come on,” she huffed. 

Ellie shuffled around before reaching her hand out to Piper. Together the two of them got Ellie to a stand. 

Joel looked at the two girls with a puzzled expression. The power of the recovery in the youth astounded him. “Gimme a minute,” Joel begged. 

Ellie chuckled. “Get up, you lazy ass.”

“Lazy ass,” Joel grunted as he stood up. “Fifty-six years old, you little shit.”

Piper and Ellie laughed at his response as they watched Joel waddle down the maze of hallways on the floor before entering a large office. The office was in a pristine condition considering the start of the apocalypse two decades prior. The carpet was free of dirt and Piper could still see the design within the fabric. Ellie was in awe at the fluffiness of the couch cushions in the seating area. They were a little stiff but practically new. She smiled to herself as she laid a few of the cushions out on the floor for the three of them. 

“Better than any bed I’ve ever slept–Joel?” Ellie turned her attention to Joel who had just shattered the glass door. “Joel.” He didn’t respond. Ellie looked at Piper with a worried shine in her eyes. “Joel!” Ellie yelled. 

The man in question turned around with a quizzical look. “What?”

“What are you doing?” She pointed to the glass now on the floor. Not the best sleeping conditions, if she was saying anything. 

Joel furrowed his brow as if his actions are obvious. Piper sighed and dropped her bag onto the floor before laying down next to Ellie. “He doesn’t want someone sneakin’ up on us while we’re sleeping.”

“Ohh, I get it. Crunch, crunch, crunch,” Ellie animately said. Her hands marched around in the air like feet ‘smashing’ the shattered glass. “Are you sure you’re gonna hear it?” The young girl asked Joel. 

“Of course, I’ll hear it,” Joel said. “That’s the damn point.” He glanced down at the ground. The glass was evenly spread out. It’d be difficult to not step on the makeshift alarm. Satisfied, he shuffled over to the girls and sat down on the open cushion next to Piper. 

“If he doesn’t,” Piper added, “I will.”

“Okay. Well, good night,” Ellie said. She snuggled into the couch cushions and drew her jacket tightly around her body. 

“Yeah, good night,” Joel whispered back as he laid down settling in for the night. 

“Night,” Piper mumbled. 

A darkened shade of blue encased the room. Everything was a different shade and Piper could make out each of the objects in the room. The desk was a darker blue than the chair behind it. The ceiling was a light blue, and the young girl was sure she could hear the buzzing of the fluorescent lights, even though they were turned off. Shifting around on the cushion, Piper let out a disappointed sigh. Sleep evaded her. 

“Hey,” Joel spoke. 

“Yeah?” Piper hesitantly responded. Behind her, a small snore escaped Ellie’s mouth. Piper could hear Joel let out a heavy breath. 

“When we were talkin’ about hurtin’ people…,” Joel paused. “What did you mean it wasn’t your first time?”

Piper rolled around onto her side. Her eyes glued to Joel’s back. “…I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“All right,” Joel quietly said.  “…You don’t have to. I’m just sayin’… it isn’t fair, your age… havin’ to deal with all of this…”

Piper’s nose scrunched up and a line between her brows formed. “There’s a lot I’ve had to deal with…” Tears built up in the corner of her eyes. Piper wasn’t going to cry. She didn’t want to cry, but why was it so easy to cry at night? “The first time I…I was twelve…does it gets easier when you get older?” Piper sniffled. 

“No, not really.” Joel rolled over and found lips pulling into a tight line. Piper was crying. The dark hid her tears well, but Joel was a father. He knew when a child was crying. “But still.”

Piper gulped and took in a shaky breath. She wasn’t crying. She refused to cry, but it was a lie. She knew and she knew Joel knew. Yet, there was an ease that filled her being as she cried on the floor of that office with Joel laying across from her. Even as war and torment surged outside, as people searched for them, Piper felt safe. She was safe under the shadow of Joel’s figure. Piper was safe, so she could cry. 

“The reason Ellie asked whether you’d hear the glass or not is ’cause both of us have noticed you don’t hear too well from your right side… Is it ’cause you were shot there?” Piper pondered once her tears had subsided. 

“Probably more from shootin’,” Joel honestly replied. “So if you wanna keep your hearin’, you stick to that knife.”

Piper chuckled and a small smile crept onto her face. “Too late.” Piper asked, “Joel?” 

“Hm?” Joel raised his brow. 

“Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?” Piper smirked. 

“What?” Joel’s head turned to look over his shoulder. Utter confusion was placed on his face at Piper’s words. 

“Yeah,” Piper whispered. “It runs in your jeans.” Then she laughed. It was a quiet laugh given the circumstances, but a laugh nonetheless. 

Joel rolled back over. “Jesus,” he said before laughing along. “That is so goddamn stupid.” He shook his head at himself for laughing at the joke, yet he couldn’t stop. He laughed and then Piper laughed. He feared it be an on going cycle that would awaken Ellie. 

“You laughed, motherfucker,” Piper noted. “Just wait till I tell Ellie.”

“I didn’t laugh,” Joel gruffly said. There was still a hint of laughter in his face. 

“Yes, you did,” Piper said. She wouldn’t let him deny it. 

“Jesus, I’m losin’ it,” Joel smiled. His face felt funny and alien as the smile stretched across his features. His cheeks hurt and his eyes crinkled in a way that they hadn’t in years. Piper had made Joel smile. 

“You’re losin’ it big time,” Piper giggled and Joel laughed once more. 

“Go to sleep,” Joel gently said. 

Piper fondly smiled. “You too, Joel. You too.” 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Sleep found Joel quickly that night. It must have been the thirty-three floors of stairs, the fight for his life, and driving consistently for days that finally brought him some rest. His mind was blank. He didn’t dream and didn’t think of Sarah, of Tess, or of Tommy. He felt at ease. Soon the pleasantry of slumber escaped him. The room was lighter and faded color crept into his view. 

“Joel?” A muffled voice was calling out to him. It sounded worried. It sounded scared. Joel’s eyes widened. “Joel!”

He grunted as he lifted his head. There was Ellie and Piper. Ellie was looking down at him. Her dark eyes reflected the fear and confusion in Joel’s. Piper sat with her jaw clenched. Her shoulder were held back and an inferno was a lit in her eyes. The thing that scared Joel the most was where Piper was looking. She wasn’t looking at him. No, Piper was glaring down the barrel of a gun. 

Something cold touched the back of Joel’s head. He whipped around. There in front of him was a child with paint around his eyes. In his hand was a gun. 

Well, fuck. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

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#a sinner's redemption #what if ellie had an older sister #ellie and piper are sisters #ellie williams x sister! reader #joel x platonic!reader #dad! joel miller x reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller comfort #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel x daughter!reader #joel the last of us #hbo the last of us spoilers #hbo the last of us #hbo tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #ellie and piper are sister's forever #ellie williams x sister!reader #ellie is immune #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #joel and ellie #took long enough for me to finally write this fic #thanks for the support

[redgoldsparks]

February Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross read by Alex Wingfield and Rebecca Norfolk

This book started a little slowly for me, as I waited for Roman to regain his memories and for Iris to get back to reporting at the front. Luckily, the magical typewriters once again play a major role in this story as they did in the first one; Roman and Iris's letters are the emotional heart of this series. I also love how it fore fronts the importance of journalists during wartime. Iris's bravery and constant willingness to move towards danger and the unknown in service of sharing the truth makes her a very compelling character. Unfortunately, the magical divine conflict behind the war just didn't compel me very strongly in this book. I think the gods were introduced too slowly into the narrative, and that a lack of a human motivation behind the war simplified the conflict in a way that sucked some of the tension from the text. If you are looking for a solid romance with a strong epistolary element and the aesthetic of wartime setting, this series delivers; if instead you want a complicated, devastating, deeply emotional story of young people surviving a real historical war, pick up Code Name Verity or Rose Under Fire.

Mamo by Sas Milledge

Jo has lived in her small seaside hometown her whole life, and loves it there. But then things start to go wrong- curses, bad luck, mysterious illnesses. She seeks out the town witch and finds a teen girl about her own age, named Orla, who Jo has never met before. It turns out Orla has just returned to town after the death of her grandmother, the previous witch. She wasn't buried properly and her bones are scattered around the town, stirring up bad energy, disturbing the local fae and trolls. Jo and Orla set out of lay the old witch properly to rest, but there's more going on than either of them realize. This is a fairly short but well told tale, queer and magical, and with a little bittersweet edge.

Look on the Bright Side by Lily Williams and Karen Schneemann 

This is a very charming follow up to Go With The Flow, taking place over the friend group's following high school year. Brit, who was diagnosed with endometriosis at the end of the previous book, had a surgery to remove it over the summer. When she goes back to school, she finds her affection caught between two different boys. Christine has finally admitted to herself that she likes Abby as more than a friend... but telling Abby that is another matter. Abby is still working on her campaign of menstrual justice on campus, while Sasha struggles to balance her homework, sports, and time with her boyfriend. The girls learn, grow, make mistakes, and support each other.

Gathering Moss written and read by Robin Wall Kimmerer

It took me a little longer to get into this one than Braiding Sweetgrass, mainly because I had much less personal knowledge of mosses than the larger types of plants which Kimmerer wrote about in Sweetgrass. It doesn't help that mosses do not have common names, so are referred to mainly by scientific names, and I was rarely able to picture them well in my head. However, by about a third of the way through I had fallen into the miniature world of mosses and the striking and insightful ways Kimmerer links them to all other organisms in their ecosystems. I loved learning how mosses, like tardigrades, with which they probably co-evolved, can survive desiccation and be revived by water even after all seeming signs of life have disappeared. I was intrigued by the story of a moss species which changes its gender over its lifespan, starting out producing only female reproductive stalks in its early days, shifting producing a mix of male and female stalks as it matures, and then producing solely male stalks as the patch reaches peak density. I was frustrated by stories of the illegal moss harvesting which is stripping Oregon rain forests bare. And I was once again completely charmed by the beauty and generosity of Kimmerer's writing and worldview. She's a bestseller for a reason; I highly recommend everyone pick up at least one of her books at some point.

The High Desert by James Spooner 

James' white mother and his black father divorced when he was in elementary school, and he moved around a lot. For high school, he moved with his mom to Apple Valley, a barren small town in the desert an hour inland from Los Angeles. Already a skater, James encountered punk music just went he needed it most: as an isolated and angry teen in a racist town with little to no underground scene or counterculture. The music, and later, the politics, of punk raised James in the semi-absence of parents and role models. This memoir, chronically roughly a year, is an unflinchingly honest look at the cruelty, creativity, friendship, and solidarity of teens. It has the density and scratchy texture of a 90s zine without ever sacrificing clarity. I was very impressed by how clearly and in what detail Spooner was able to recreate his high school angst and activist awaking in this coming of age tale. Punk wasn't the music that found me, but I still remember the high of finding a new favorite band or song that felt as if it spoke right to my teen soul. This book is a testament to the power of music to reach into the dark and pull someone out into the light.

Falling Back in Love With Being Human written and read by Kai Cheng Thom 

Short and sweet, this book is half confession, half spell book. Each chapter is written as a letter- to trans women, to activists, to sex workers, to johns, to those contemplating suicide, to TERFs, to children's book writers- each followed with a little action or ritual. I listened to it as an audiobook and loved hearing the letters in the author's voice, but I can also see how reading it in print and lingering over each letter one at a time would be wonderful too.

The Great Beyond by Lea Murawiec translated by Aleshia Jensen 

Manel Naher is an anti-social and idiosyncratic young woman living an endless city in which everyone advertises their own names on street signs, sandwich boards, at social events, on business cards, and by simply shouting them at strangers. This may not sound so different from our own world except that it's driven by an even more intense desperation: if one's name is not known, and one's presence fades fully from people's minds, and the forgotten person will literally die. Manel wants nothing more than to escape the city into the wilds beyond it, but her presence is so low she suffers a near fatal heart attack and is scared into a fearful scramble to gain enough fame to live. Her attempts to claw her way into people's memories is surprisingly successful, and in the process of becoming one of the 1% she leaves behind everything and everyone she loved. Never before have I read a comic that felt so much like literary spec-fic. The concepts are fascinating and the cartooning knocked me off my feet. A visual masterpiece I'll be thinking about for a long time to come.

The Spectred Isle by KJ Charles read by Ruairi Carter

Saul Lazenby is a disgraced archeologist who served time for a war crime during the recent WWI. Back in England, disowned by his family, he struggled to support himself. The only job he is able to secure is as a personal assistant to a batty old major who believes in fairy stories and keeps sending Saul off to various parts of London to investigate supposedly occult sites. Saul knows it's all fake but he keeps investigating anyway... and then a tree bursts in flames in front of him. And a mysterious gentleman keeps showing up at the same sites of sacred groves or ancient wells which Saul's been sent to look at. That gentleman is Richard Glide, who just happens to be the heir to one of the oldest arcane families in England. And he can't tell if Saul is causing the spiritual problems that keep occurring around him or if it's all an unlikely coincidence. This historical romance is a fun and quick read, shorter than most of the KJ Charles books I've read before. Be warned, the end sets up a sequel which has not, and may not, ever actually come out- but I still enjoyed this one on it's own.

Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson 

A gorgeous, nonlinear novel about three generations of a Black family living in New York between roughly the early 1990s to the mid 2000s. The chapters rotate between multiple POVs, covering moments of change, tension, or reflection for the family. The opening scene is the evening of a debut party for sixteen year old Melody, who wears the dress her own mother was supposed to wear at her debut... except that she was already pregnant. From that moment, the narrative spins back time to how each character arrived there: Iris, a teen who refused to give up her baby but also refused to settle into motherhood; Aubrey, a young man in love with a girl who was already leaving him; Iris's mother Sabe, a daughter of a survivor of the Tulsa massacre, a women who stores her money in gold bars hidden around the house; Iris's father Po'boy, who as a young man ran races, and as an old man holds more love for his family that his body can carry. The character work here is so strong- I was immediately swept away into the cares, worries, secrets, and longings of the family. I read the whole book in one day, but I'll be thinking about it for a long time.

We Are The Land: A Native History of California by Damon B Akins and William J Bauer Jr 

It took me a long time to read this book, as it was challenging to read a history of genocide while also seeing genocide in my phone every single day. But I'm ultimately very glad that I finished it. This is a well researched, approachable, indigenous-authored history of the native people in the land now called California. I enjoyed how place specific this book is. I felt much more connected to the history recognizing nearly every place name, and once the book got passed around the year 1900 I started to also recognize names of organizations that still exist and activists who I'm familiar with. I have a much better understanding of the patchwork creation of and the broken promises of the reservations, land allotments, and rancherias. I was happy whenever the book mentioned Pomo master basket weavers Elsie Allen and Mable McKay, who my mom has been telling me about for years, or Greg Sarris, Santa Rosa based chairman of the Graton Rancheria and author. I have a better understanding of this land where I have lived and worked all my life after reading this book.

Zodiac: A Graphic Novel by Ai Weiwei, Elettra Stamboulis and Gianluca Costantini

I've been following Ai Weiwei's work since about 2010, and was absolutely delighted to learn he was releasing a comic memoir. I managed to snag a signed copy though the Comix Experience Graphic Novel of the Month Club and I will treasure it. This book is organized into 12 chapters, each themed around one animal from the zodiac. It weaves together slice of life moments from Ai Weiwei's day to day life, stories of his father (the revolutionary poet Ai Qing), memories of Ai's time as an art student in New York, his incarceration, time spent with his mother, his partner, and his son, conversations with artist friends and some of his international exhibitions. It is not a tight narrative; it wanders, it indulges in myths and fairy tales, it is open ended and I enjoyed it so much. It was written along with Elettra Stamboulis, and draw in a delicate lose line art style by Gianluca Costantini. A few of the lines from the end of the book haven't left my head since I read them: "Freedom of speech and human rights are not given to anybody for free. They always come through fighting and struggle" (101); "Any artist who isn't an activist is a dead artist" (165) and "... the purpose of art, which is to fight for freedom."(166)

Witchy Vol 2 by Ariel Salmat Ries 

This volume was just as beautifully drawn as book 1; the cartooning is masterful, but I don't have a very good sense of where the larger plot is going. This book was mostly a long side quest in which Nyneve learned how to make a broom under an exiled gay broom making master. I enjoyed this! However it didn't particularly seem to move the story forward. I will keep reading, but the sense of drama and urgency from the beginning of the first book is slightly missing here.

No Gods, No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull read by Dion Graham  

What a ride! I went into this book knowing almost nothing, and I think that was the right way to go so I shall not summarize the plot. This is the first book of a series; it's ambitious, it's weird, it's got a very large and extremely diverse cast; it is such a fresh and original take on a contemporary sci-fi in which the world realizes that monsters, gods, and magic have existed all along. I worried a little in the first third that the book maybe had too many POV characters, most of whom seemed very unconnected from each other except by geographical proximity to either Cambridge, Mass, or the island of St Thomas. However by the end almost all of the characters had been at least tenuously linked by plot events in a way that really worked for me. The book also has trans, nonbinary, asexual, queer, and poly characters whose identities are only revealed slowly, and usually after you've known the character for a while. I am very impressed by the scope of this story and definitely plan to continue with the series.

Arrive In My Hands by Trinidad Escobar 

Sensual, at times tender, at times haunting, this beautiful little book is a collection of lesbian erotic comics from a poet artist at the top of her field. I am definitely biased, having been friends with the author for years, but I also deeply admire this work. The women, witches, and creatures in these stories yearn for pleasure and for freedom; they chase both through oceans, forests, broken suburban towns, and through dreams. The book is perfectly sized to hold close to your heart.

Bird by Bird by Annie Lamott read by Susan Bennett

I've been hearing about this book for years as a writing guide, but it is almost equally a memoir or collection of anecdotes about the writing life. Parts of it worked for me and other parts didn't. The author has a very different type of brain than I have, and the chapters on working through the anxiety, neurosis, and depression she suffered from when trying to write didn't really speak to me at all. I also did not enjoy the handful of flippant jokes about killing yourself when the writing isn't going well. However. There are also some genuinely really moving pieces about writing books as gifts to loved ones, especially loved ones who are soon to leave us. I thought a lot of the advice in the middle about focusing on details, on recording memories, on research, and on character development was really solid, and I want to keep some of it in mind when I start developing my next book. There was also a set of lines in the introduction, about how writers are able to participate in public life while also working from home and without leaving the house which hit the nail on the head of why I entered this career!

Recitatif by Toni Morrison read by Bahni Turpin with an intro written and read by Zadie Smith

I've been wanting to try another Toni Morrison, since the only one I had previously read in high school went completely over my head at age 15. Recitatif is Morrison's only short story, and this audiobook version is read by the wonderful Bahni Turpin (who you might recognize from Angie Thomas or Akwaeke Emezi's audiobooks). Also included in an excellent essay written and read by Zadie Smith. This comes first in the audio, but if you are new to the story as I was, skip the essay and listen to the story first! Then go back and listen to the essay afterwards. This way the cleverness and impact of the story can hit you fully. It is so smart, so well crafted, and such a master class in writing that both reveals and conceals so much about the complicated relationship of two damaged women.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 1 by Ryoko Kui 

I can immediately see why so many people are charmed by this world and these characters! This is the start of a really fun D&D infused adventure story, with a small group of down on their luck adventures deciding to cut their adventuring costs by eating the monsters they kill in the dungeon. The man behind this idea, Laos, is also searching for a missing sister who may or may not have already been eaten by a dragon. I already have books 2 and 3 on hold; I haven't been so captured by a manga series since starting Witch Hat Atelier.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 2 by Ryoko Kui

I devoured this book as quickly as book one. Our adventure party gets a bit deeper into the dungeon and begin to have more meaningful interactions with the beings who dwell there, including an Orc family just trying to get by, golems which grow vegetables on their backs, and living paintings which might reveal more of the buried castle's history.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 3 by Ryoko Kui

A flashback reveals more of the school friendship of Marcelle and Falin; a deep underground lake leads to many encounters with watery monsters of various types. I continue to have a very fun time with this series!

Bunt by Ngozi Ukazu and Mad Rupert

Molly grew up in Peachtree, Georgia, in her lesbian moms' hardware store, in the shadow of the town's prestigious and expensive art college, PICA. Every since she can remember, she's wanted to attend PICA- despite the fact that her best friend dropped out last year and says the school chews people up and spits them out. But Molly got a full ride scholarship, so her first semester should be a breeze, right? No! Because when she shows up to orientation, no one can find her scholarship or even her registration. It turns Molly will have to pay for her first year after all; she takes out some dodgy loans and scours the financial aid booklets for any other scholarship she can apply for. It turns out, if she can scrape up a full team of softball players... and they compete against other college teams in the same division... and they win at least one game over the course of the semester... the whole team gets a free tuition! Is it possible to win one game with a bunch of big-ego, burned-out, athletically-challenged artists? I loved the energy of this story, with many well-informed digs at art school culture and hypocrisy. The team has great chemistry and the art style is full of action, physical humor, and delightfully expressive cartooning.

#comics #book reviews #reading #comic book reviews #book recs

[wild-moss-art]

While I'm reviewing movies, I realized I forgot to review the d&d movie(honor among thieves), and I am bestowing my first 5/5. I really enjoyed this movie. I liked the messaging, the lovable characters, the humor, the costume design, and the practical effects. The story was also really fun. I highly recommend this one!

#moss reviews things #if you couldnt tell one of my friends has been really into going to movies lately lmao #d&d movie is one of rhe best recent movies ive seen #also! i think we might watch nimona tonight #im really hype and will share my thoughts

[newyorkthegoldenage]

Montgomery Clift, right, aged 15, as Prince Peter in Jubilee, 1935. The other boy is Jackie Kelk, playing Prince Rudolph.

The show, a musical, had a book by Moss Hart and a score by Cole Porter, and introduced the classics "Just One of Those Things" and "Begin the Beguine." It included some characters based on real people: the swimmer who becomes an actor is a spoof of Johnny Weissmuller; Noël Coward is portrayed as Eric Dare; and the party hostess Elsa Maxwell is given the name Eva Standing.

The show received rapturous reviews, with one critic calling it "one of the great theatrical events of the 1930s." But after the orchestrations were lost in transit in 1948, the show was not performed for 40 years. There have been a number of concert performances since then, but no full-scale production.

Photo: Vandamm via MCNY

#vintage New York #1930s #Vandamm #Montgomery Clift #Jubilee musical #Cole Porter #child actors #vintage Broadway #Jubilee #musical comedy #musical theater

[the---hermit]

07|07|2023

My chill hobbit summer continues with morning walks, reading, and thinking about learning new skills. In particular I have seen some beautiful embroidery that looks like moss, and now I really want to learn how to make that myself. I used to cross-stich as a kid, but I never really tried embroidery, so it might be the right time for me to try it. I already see myself adding embroidered moss and leaves to every single thing I own, and it would be very much on brand since whenever I have a pen on hand I midlessly draw leaves and flowers everywhere.

Productive and self care things I did today:

Read first thing in the morning

Went on a morning walk

Postes this book review

Continued listening to an audiobook

Practiced Irish and French on duolingo

Planned to catch up my uni buddy next week to either visit a museum or midlessly browsing bookshops and to eat sushi together

📖: The Lost World by Michael Crichton, The Queen Of The Caribbean by Emilio Salgari

#studyblr #studyinspo #bookblr #uniblr #student life #book #journal #studying #productivity #self care #mine #knife gang #the---hermit

[elwolfen]

Alfred Molinathon Day 10

Nervous Energy (1993)

Ira Moss

His Role: Supportive and undergoing inconceivable pain of having to watch his dear Tom slowly go through the trials and tribulations of AIDs. Someone you'd hope to have by your side in sickness and in health. Patient while understandably tired. The unprompted trip to Glasgow without him going or being properly discussed must have stung quite a bit, but he let Tom go, even knowing that it wouldn't go nicely. It's what Tom wanted.

His flashbacks to the past were... interesting, to say the least. There are two types: first meeting and them being much closer (if you catch me). Seeing him meet Tom, who was a biker at that point, filled me with much glee from hoping there would be a scene where Tom would take Ira for a ride, and he'd hold close to him. They do ride, but Ira doesn't cling to him sadly. And the other scenes? No full-on sex but very sexual undertones. You see plenty of naked Tom (past and present), plenty of ass and full frontal nudity. I'm sure plenty who haven't watched it but are a A.M. fans are curious about Ira's percentage of nudity (I see you)... the most you see is him laying in bed with his dear Tom and see all but his pecker. Which I'm thankful for, for me, seeing genitalia makes me uncomfortable for reasons not entirely known to me (my aro?/ace ass). So, seeing Tom's was a jumpscare.

Anyways a scene where, after going to the bar with his friends, sits and sings to himself while seeing a vision of Tom crying out in pain and begging for Ira made me tear up a bit. At the time of these reviews, I'm dealing with my cat's sickness and at times, I've thought about the idea if that if he could talk, would he be constantly begging for help and yowling about the pain? Obviously, he still could, but the thought of not being able to help with one's serious and fatal situation is heart-wrenching. I know a person going through AIDs and a cat going through Lymphoma are different, but this is how I relate. Ira has Tom, and I have my Sandy.

Seeing him go through and making a list of music for Tom's funeral was jarring. We forget what loved ones do for a dying person, getting all the arrangements, booking the funeral itself, and even the little details like the music. It just it me. Seeing him quietly work on that while Tom is in the hospital, not knowing if he's still fighting or trying to let it take him. All he knows is that Tom doesn't want him there.

He also abandons his radio hosting duties to be at the hospital with Tom. It's brought up a few times about the fact that Ira was going to interview someone that Tom was a fan of, and after all that happens, he stays with Tom. Someone else interviews him. A sacrifice, I'm sure he's willing to make time and time again.

When Ira finally gets the news that Tom is okay, it'll take weeks for him to come home, but he is still surviving. All Ira can think is that "he's coming home?" He breaks down crying at the thought of him being home with him. I'll admit I wanted to see him cry, just to see he acting chops, but it was so damn touching. Everyone at that hospital was so supportive.

In the end, it's just the two of them, in a hospital bed. Talking. Throughout the movie, we learn that Tom doesn't like kissing on the lips. But here, he wants to kiss Ira. I'm sure Ira would've loved that, but he knows his Tom. Instead, he says he wants to hold him, which is a relief to Tom. Holding each other close after a tumultuous time in Glasgow must have felt like heaven on earth. That's the last we see of them. The funeral is postponed, but we know the date will have to be made eventually. For now... all that's matters is each other.

~~~

The Rest of the Film: Tom was really going through the ringer of AIDs and everyone terrified that he's developed dementia (which I didn't know was possible). Going on shopping sprees, buying the wrong thing, and lashing out when told such and just knowing it's his expertise, brutal. Watching his sweaty spiral didn't give me much hope for the end of this movie. Yet I was surprised. He doesn't die at the end, but it is heavily implied that it will happen eventually. But it was a pleasant surprise.

Also, why does everyone keep letting him drive!? He drove into a hedge!

~~~

His family seemed kind of supportive at first. His mother really was the highlight out of all of them, she genuinely cares about her son and I'm glad. His father was hesitant about all of it, but he has been researching about his son's aliment. And Ian, his brother, was calm at first, throwing some shade until the point he snaps. This man really thinks his brother is just being a "theatrical wee shit"...

When Ira inevitably arrives and hears out Ian, Tom's brother, on what happened. While I understand his and his wife's discomfort; Tom messed up her kitchen twice, he went back to cook again while still naked (her very young daughters giggling) and he drove a rental car into their hedge. It was still crossing a line when he attacked him (one hit and brief crying but still), threatened death, and kicked him out in the morning. His brother is very clearly sick and disoriented and yet still does so. I do appreciate that he showed some care, but he needed more patience. What made Ian and his wife really snap? The fact Tom and Ira fucked in the shower? Really? That's what starts half his family bashing him for being born!? Wow.

When Ian turns up later to the hospital that Tom ends up after everything to visit. He still thinks he's being over the top. But Ira has had enough! He rightfully snaps at him, but still in a reigned in manner. He's tired of seeing everyone abandon this poor, suffering, and confused man who's been their for his friends, and his father and brother abandoned him ten years ago when he broke his leg. Why? Because they saw him with many gay men in the same room, I believe wearing leather.

I can't understand why Tom would want to forgive them. But it's not my place to do so.

~~~

Tom's seemingly fairweathered friends. Again, this is a difficult situation, I understand. Yet they still have the gull to dine and eventually dash as soon as things get too difficult and embarrassing. Ira bringing up the fact that his friends are way more reliable, a bit of a diss even before the abandonment, but he's not wrong.

Thankfully, after being rejected yet again, this time by a leather Dom, Tom begs Ira to call his ex-teacher at four a.m., and she takes them in for the night. She seems really nice and singing was lovely but little too much for my sensitive ears. A thing, though, all this moving around could have been avoided if Tom allowed Ira to book a hotel room. But for some reason, he didn't want to stay at one. Anyways, we get a conversation between Ira and Rosetta, which is really devastating. Ira hasn't been tested for AIDs. He thinks he may have it, but not knowing if that's the case or not makes him feel stronger. Strong enough for him and Tom. He doesn't want Tom to be concerned with it, he wants to deal with it on his own. Just like what's Tom has been doing throughout the film. They both don't want to be weaker, they desperately want to be strong enough. But it's ok to be overtaken by the overbearing pain and devastation of a disease. It's not your fault.

As soon as they get back home to London, who shows up? All of their London friends! As soon as they get off the train, they are swarmed by them and head straight to the hospital. It was heartwarming to see the true family they have there. Nothing but helping and patient.

Heads up! A Romani slur is dropped near the beginning of the film. Very brief yet there. Also, mentions of Antisemitism!

#Alfred Molinathon #Alfred Molina #Nervous Energy 1993 #Nervous Energy #Ira Moss #All over the place I know #I might edit it another time

[ricletaylor]

Pick a Card ~ What you need to hear right now.

Disclaimer: this is just for fun, nothing in this reading should be taken seriously.

Please pick as many (or all) or as little piles as you like!

If nothing compels you to a pile there is a general reading!

General Reading

Take time to breathe! Omg everyone here is just doing too much. I'm not saying do deep breaths and a specific breathing meditation, I'm just saying slow the heck down. You might not think your moving fast and well you aren't but your mind is going a 1000 miles per hour that it's likely to crash and burn? Somehow. Write down your thoughts/feelings whatever/etc. and if you need to throw that away afterwards go right ahead. No amount of distractions from your mind through social media/music will automatically help you right away. It will just add more and more thoughts into your head. Write with an old fashion piece of pencil/pen and paper and get writing and flush out whatever is in that head of yours, if you somehow don't have that, type it up on your electronical devices.

Your deserve to have your mind rest, your physical and physiological self will be blessed if you do so.

Pile 1-7 Left to Right

Photos taken from Pinterest under the keyword "Aesthetic/s"

Pile 1 - Cat

It is inevitable to assume that everything in your life is going to go to whatever you have already planned. Keep those dreams to heart they are worth chasing 100%. Whatever you plan now however will take a bit more time that you'd expect but with conviction & will, it will also come to fruition.

Pile 2 - Bunnies

You have to stop taking burden after burden. It's taxing to your well being, and to those around you that you would think your helping but the more you help it's harder for them as well. It's not that your doing anything wrong but right now you have to focus on yourself. Take care of yourself, your mental, physical, and psychological self will thank you ten-fold. You also need to ask people for help right now. You need to take time off from work, (doesn't matter if their low staff or need you because your a competent worker) You are overworking yourself to the edge. There is no planning just resting, spending time with yourself and with those close to you that fill your energy up.

Pile 3 - City Lights

You have to slow down. Your taking life a little to fast. Doing whatever, comes up for you and deciding to fast to do those things. There are big opportunities that are probable to come to fruition in the future but you have to exercise caution or else you'll mess whatever you were tryna seek in the first place. Hold off when someone asks you to hang out or when your boss tells you to do a work task/project that's not in your job description. Don't automatically say yes, wait a bit. There is no timeframe of waiting, it's fine if you respond a minute later just not at that exact moment. Tell others, "Give me a minute and I'll get back to you" or something along those lines. Your in need to stop being a busy body and exercise patience.

Pile 4 - Fallen Leaves

Give yourself a pat on the back, you've accomplished a great lot. Now is the time to celebrate those victories no matter how small or big they are. Your in need to review what you have done right and what you can do to be even better. Your going in the right direction but make sure to check in and review the week before, it will help your work and personal life and make it 1000 times better.

Pile 5 - Moss Tree

You seem to be moving or in the process of moving, if that's not the case. Your searching for a change of pace in your personal and work life. It's gotten to a point of routine-like that your starting to feel like a cog in the machine or a robot. Go on a quick trip or even clear out all the clutter that you might have piled up at home. The act of cleaning your living space, the more you'll start to feel less like your confided and more like you have a vast range of freedom. It is also needed that if you are planning to actually move you have to make sure to keep your living space free from mess, or else it will follow you no matter where you move and you'll feel like your stuck in a routine you very much dislike.

Pile 6 - Campfire

However you may think your life is in shambles the more you'll continuously experience the same heartache, burdens, and responsibilities that aren't for you to be experiencing in the first place. I'm not saying to start looking in a field of flowers and start saying positive affirmations to get you to out of a rutt. No. What I'm saying is surround yourself with people that don't speak negative talk 24/7. Will that innate you to have to meet a good amount of people right now? Well yes, going to a mall or at least hopefully some are still open this COVID age, or a crowded place not too crowded however (you need to be able to clearly hear yourself and others talk). Say good morning, hi to strangers, pick up trash whenever you see litter on the ground. Be considerate and kind to others and life will be kind and considerate to you. It will take time and it will seem like life is still throwing you punches but the more you face life with kindness the more you'll see glimpses of, "oh, that wasn't a bad day," or "wow, I never thought people respond so greatly to a simple greeting."

Don't fret, even if you right now see that your life has been getting worse and worse and never better it sometimes starts with distancing yourself off from others that do you more harm than good. Also, if your not the most social type, smile at others while walking past someone on the street, if you can't build up the courage to greet a stranger. And if you still wear a mask, nodding your head when a stranger comes by will also suffice.

Pile 7 - Library

There is a sense of loneliness coming from this pile. You've been isolating yourself for a fairly long time even before COVID. You are in need to get out more, to recenter yourself, in nature is recommended but maybe going to coffee shops or popular parks will also be a good option. The energy of strangers surrounding you if your in a public place (via coffee shop etc.), will help you get out of your shell more, and need for socialization even if your not talking to anyone. You might think you don't need to socialize and your right, but you need to be around others energies right now. You need sunlight as well, open those windows/curtains more often, watch the sunset/sunrise sometimes. You will feel more alive if you do so.

#pick a card #pac #intuitive reading not tarot

[hypaalicious]

IS4 thoughts

I’ve completed everything in this thus far and I remember I usually do a “review no one asked for” about Integrated Strategy iterations, so leggo

General improvements: the ability to choose which ending to go for rather than relying on RNG, fun Fordartal shenanigans, added perks to relics on higher Braving Nature levels

General annoyances: unable to stop the Collapse level from rising (unless you pick the Eternal Hunting Squad), being locked into Braving Nature 0 in the beginning, both the 2nd & 3rd end bosses being a DPS and/or ASPD check

Aiight so… best and worst categories GO

Best starting squad: Special Training Squad

The worst part about higher ascension runs is the +1 Hope cost for recruitment and this squad mitigates that. Made my BN 10+ runs a lot less painful LOL

Worst starting squad: Scientific Thinking Squad

Yeah, you end up with max Anti-Interference by like floor 3 but being blind up until then is annoying lol.

Best Fordartal: Sing

Listen. Hardly anything beats the endorphin rush of ASPD boosts anyway, but also I have not managed to beat the 2nd or 3rd end bosses without help from it.

Worst Fordartal: Hunt

I’m truly not tryna ASK to get my ass whooped outchea, y’all can keep this 😭

Least harmful Collapsal Paradigm: Convergence Consumption

For the most part I can just avoid getting screwed by this at all by skipping Bosky Passage nodes

Most harmful Collapsal Paradigm: Barometric Anamoly

Fuck this one to the pits of hell 😭 Have me mad as fuck watching my DP like

Easiest Emergency Node: Hands of Moss

Yeah, it’s a 1st floor stage anyway but like any of the others can steamroll you immediately if you have a poor starting lineup, this one is the safest bet cause nothing really changes about it from regular to emergency mode.

Worst Emergency Node: tie between March of the Dead & Stay Away From Strangers

If we being real? NO 5th floor combat stage is safe at high ascension 🤧 it will always be a fight for your life, but these two can be run-enders. MotD throws in two mudrock Colossi for funsies and SAWF will end in tears if you don’t have the ranged units to get all them drones gone and the swiftness to pick off all the Rot Eaters before they get too beefy to hold off.

Best Bosky Passage effect: Concentration Disorder from IS3 on steroids

I love set and forget shenanigans because I assure you, I will be setting and forgetting anyway! *grins in ADHD*

Worst Bosky Passage effect: too much Dominion

Don’t fuck around and get this while also having the Substantial Collapse paradigm. Whole map gonna have fart clouds on it. Pain.

Best new Relic: ‘Devotion’

Is it game breaking? No. But chip damage on enemies for healing racks up!

Worst new Relic: Frozen Whetstone

Way to make Bladedance absolutely useless LMFAO like honestly if there’s one thing is4 is good at is giving really good relics some disappointing handicaps.

Okay. Now onto the bosses!

Samivilinn aka that bigass ice mountain with an attitude

Very straightforward. Typhon will trivialize this boss and Reedalter will trivialize the stage itself by clearing it of all the ice in one s3 activation. The enemies on the right hand side tend to be more annoying to corral but if you have Eyjalter with her s3 it’ll keep the whole squad across the map healthy enough to push through.

Eikthynir aka the Snowpriest who really wants to be Usain Bolt

Full disclosure; most of my wins against him required creative stacking of Sing fordartals and proper timing/abuse of Goldenglow’s s3 to get him down most of the way before he speedruns the exit. But so many battles have ended up with him blowing past all my blockers with 1% health and me not being able to do shit but watch 😭

Crazelyseon, aka the teleporting Flying Spaghetti Monster

A menace 😭 Invulnerable 90% of the time, warping around the stage, dropping cancer squares of doom, and worst of all the time limit. If you don’t kill this thing soon after it starts warping three times in a row then you’re finished cause it’ll explode. I haven’t felt such a time crunch on an IS boss since BSL.

Best practice is to set up your heaviest hitters at two of its stopping points and only activate the device when it’s overcharged to get the most bang for your buck. You have GOT to time it right tho cause if you get impatient or your DPS gets wiped then the whole stage goes to shit really fast. Once again, I have never beat this boss without an ASPD boost of some kind.

Great Operators for IS4:

Ines - her invisibility reveal is goated

Typhon - really good for general carry on all floors but outside of the ice mountain boss her meta-ness falls off esp at higher ascension levels

Reedalter - her s2 will melt anybody including those Shattered Champions

Eyjaberry - frankly indispensable, her s1 holds it down and her s3 reaches everywhere

FedExecutor - his s2 allows him to dodge most bullshit and he holds his own despite not being able to be directly healed

Virtuosa - def a luxury pick and fairly new but a way better source of Necrosis damage than Valarqvin and just overall very fun to play

Ling - I usually do not play SummonKnights because I don’t have the brain cells but honestly the runs I’ve done with her were solid and fun especially with the Empty Fowlbeast relic

Ho’olheyak - rather mid as a Core Caster but with the relics that boost levitation effects she can actually hold her own

Jessica Wick - her deployable shield can buy you some time against these sprinting mobs

Yato alter: she’s a key FastRedeploynights operator for a reason!

Mlynar - full disclosure; I don’t really use him in IS unless I get him as a temp recruit because while his damage output is unrivaled, I hate how he can’t block shit unless his skill is up

Ethan - a low cost GOAT at crowd control. That Prisoner’s Night stage is trivialized with him

Other random tips:

Avoid the Nameless Hero stage. Please. 😭 If you come across the Always on Alert encounter, just dip. Expeditiously.

When going for the 3rd ending, don’t go in a Scout node until like floor 4. Why? Cause that Routeweave Net will make additional enemies appear in all your stages and it’s best to just put that off till the last moment. By floor 5 if you take the bottom most route the Prophecy node that’s supposed to be the fork to get to Eik’s stage will turn into the one you need to get the Boundless Gift to open up floor 6.

GG’s s3 is garbage for the ice mountain stage. She’ll target every individual ice square before she decides to hit any enemies.

If you pick up the Scarred Amber relic, maximize your slay by stacking hella Plunder or Migrate Fordartals

Always save your best Fordartal combos for end stage bosses! There’s no limit of how many buffs you can stack on a node so take advantage of that.

After a certain Collapse level is reached you won’t get any more Fordartals outside of what you can buy from Cannot or get from a unique Encounter

There are two secret Collapsal Paradigms to unlock. One obscures your operators and the other obscures the enemy health bars and how many life points you have left. Both are fairly annoying. BUT STILL BETTER THAN BAROMETRIC ANAMOLY

#and now we just wait until the Expansion where I revisit this maybe to bitch about that last boss(es) #for my sanity I had to stop doing BN 10+ clears though because it was killing my love for IS #yes the shiny icons on the squads are pretty but the struggle is TEW REAL😭 #明日方舟 #arknights #is4 #expeditioner's joklumarkar

[webbywatcheshorror]

Thirteen Ghosts (2001)

Thir13en (or Thirteen/13) Ghosts is a story about a family that inherits a bizarre and beautiful house from a late relative that contains many secrets- and a basement full of murderous ghosts.

This is one of my personal favorites and has been since I was a kid. It came out in 2001 so the earliest I could have seen it would be when I was around 12 or so, and that’s assuming I saw it the year it came out, which I literally have no way of knowing. I’m going to operate under the assumption I saw it at 13 because it’s likely, and it’s thematically hilarious to me.

Also it definitely is one of about three ghost related movies that really solidified ghosts as being my ‘thing’.

Enough about that, let’s talk about the movie! Review under the cut, and as always, SPOILERS ahead!

I literally cannot overstate how much I love this movie. It’s one of the first real horror movies I ever saw as a child, and it’s definitely one of the ones that altered my brain chemistry to a degree that could never be undone. SO much of what I love in a horror movie comes from this one. 

Weird house? Check. Loads of ghosts? Check, obviously. Pathetic but attractive guy covered in blood? Check. Jokes that make me cackle but don’t interrupt the flow of the movie? Check. Body horror that makes my skin crawl? Check, check, check. A twist that’s set up previously in the movie if you’re REALLY sharp eyed? Check. Environmental storytelling, a weird morbid kid, two worlds in one space, and a WHOLE LOT of lore. It’s got it all!

The cold open is so good. It establishes the level of violence the dead are capable of (The Breaker having more than tripled his kill count after his death, for example), and gives us some major players and their clashing personalities. It also kind of reminds me of the opening scene in Jurassic park where they’re moving a raptor into the enclosure and it all goes to hell in a similar way.

Every new thing that gets mentioned just draws me further in, and I, a known sucker for lore, want to know everything. If I lived in that world, Cyrus would have had me hook, line, and SINKER, as long as he promised me ghost knowledge lmao. I’d be dead as hell so fast.

The inciting tragedy for the main characters plays over the opening credits and this, too, is something I adore. The environment changes along with the audio- a cheerful house with a loving family fades into a crummy, box-filled apartment while the anguished cries of Arthur and his children mourn the loss of their mother Jean as the camera pans to the left. We don’t have to see it to know what happened, or how much pain its caused.

One thing I love, love, love about this movie is how much story is told through the environment and small details alone, rather than just explained by the characters. Arthur doesn’t say he’s struggling to keep his shit together, but his instant mood swing at a small inconvenience sure does. The past due bills pinned to the corkboard in the background do, too. The set designers did an amazing job- I could probably find hidden important details in every scene if I had the time to comb through them.

Some other things I want to mention in this first part of the movie- the pictures of the house that the lawyer shows the family are all taken in a way that obscures the fact that every wall is glass; when we’re shown Kalina’s place, there’s a newspaper clipping about Cyrus’s death that names Ben Moss, the lawyer, as the spokesperson of Cyrus’s company, hinting at him having more of an involvement than simply the lawyer; and how nobody in the family really tries to deter Bobby from his obsession with death even if it makes them a little uncomfortable. 

The glass house is so iconic. It’s so fucking weird and impractical and sinister and beautiful all at once. And that’s BEFORE it goes full Rube Goldberg. There is nothing at all about this house that gives the vibe that you should move in here and raise your children. Hell there’s nothing at all that gives the vibe that it’s even a house. It’d be a museum, if anything, especially with how much stuff Cyrus has crammed in there.

Except the library. Almost all the books are on the floor in there. Cyrus I’m going to throttle you, you could have had the coolest occult library but instead you just stacked that shit on the ground. I’m so disappointed in you. It’s such a weird choice, given how much else he clearly planned out: every room has the ghost glasses in it somewhere, and there are multiple rooms that might tempt each new resident (living or dead perhaps). He wanted them to see their oncoming doom, wanted them to feel terror and heartbreak and despair. He planned for so many possibilities it’s actually pretty impressive- he knew the lawyer would kick off the process by going right for the money, for example, and it’s clear that he wasn’t told just how fast shit would pop off, since he just sort of saunters back down the corridor instead of getting the hell out as fast as possible. Nobody else was meant to leave that house alive, except Cyrus.

Cyrus himself is so easily hateable right from the get-go. He’s an asshole, he’s pushy and considers everyone else beneath him, and every new sentence out of his mouth makes me hate him more. There’s no attempt made to get the audience to sympathize with him, with the possible exception of the video they play as part of his will and testament, not that it works very well. What a great villain, and a fascinating character as well. I hate him so much. I’m delighted I got to see him die twice. (Ok so the first one was a fake out but it was still satisfying.)

And then there’s Dennis. Just as I hated Cyrus immediately, so did I love Dennis immediately. He’s a tormented little weirdo with psychic abilities, hunting ghosts and hating every minute of it just so he can have some kind of human interaction that doesn’t center on him being the target of whatever cruelty’s going on. He’s kind of an asshole, but he’s still compassionate (to the living at least), and funny to boot. Also, he’s played by Matthew Lillard, so of course I was going to love him. (However, at this point in my life, the only other thing I’d seen with him in it was Scooby-Doo, so the whiplash was real lmao.)

Honestly the man is prime blorbo real estate, as the kids might say. I’m surprised at how few fics there are on Ao3 for this movie/man.

My god, the lore in this movie is incredible. Each and every ghost has a name and a story, despite never getting addressed in the movie itself, and they all look phenomenally unique. They all have clearly distinct personalities, too, despite all (well almost all) of them being murderous freaks. I’d love to watch a miniseries or something about each spirit, I’d eat that up.

I loved the twist reveals, both Kalina’s and Cyrus’s. I really would like to know how he got her to fall for him, and whether she’d always been on his side or if she’d started out genuinely opposing him. One thing’s obvious though, and it’s that she is terrified of the man. Her personality does almost a complete 180 in his presence, she’s overexplaining, she’s desperate for his approval. It’s funny that, just a few minutes earlier, she’d taunted Dennis about how Cyrus was just using him and didn’t actually care about him, yet apparently never suspected the same about herself.

One more thing I’d like to mention is that I love how the family, and only the family, survives. Cyrus gets what he deserves, Kalina is betrayed, and Dennis sacrifices himself, but the entire family makes it out alive- including Maggie, the nanny. Where other movies might not have considered her family enough, and killed her off, this one says no, she’s part of the family. She gets to live. Which is great, since she was so right about pretty much everything, as well as probably the funniest character. (I will never not laugh at ‘did the lawyer split?’)

I do want to know what happens to all the ghosts, as after the destruction of the house they can all be seen presumably going off to commit murder elsewhere. And of course I also want to know where Ghost-Dennis went off to. Did he cross over? Did he decide to tag along with the family? Did he go off on his own? Whatever he chose, he finally looked somewhat at peace for the first time in the entire movie.

Maybe it’s nostalgia, maybe it’s because of how it shaped my interest in ghosts and horror, maybe it’s because I can’t resist a good pun, but I give this one 13 outta ten ghosts. I’ve seen this movie probably about 167 times and still haven’t gotten tired of it and I hope I never will.

#thirteen ghosts #thir13en ghosts #13 ghosts #horror movies #movie review #webbywatcheshorror #matthew lillard #tony shalhoub #f murray abraham #ghosts #shannon elizabeth #rah digga

[thetallowman]

More side media - this time the girls' notes on the ritual. They covered a lot of the same ground as I did, but with a few more details. (Lucy wrote them, which makes sense - she seems like she would like having her thoughts out on paper, easier to review and reference.)

The trio really doesn't like Charles. Most of their criticisms reference his appearance/vibes, rather than concerns over the forsworn thing, so I'm still chalking this up to karma. (Has anyone explained karma to them? It's less of a concern when your family isn't ontologically evil, I guess.) They do point out that he can lie now, which is not something I had considered.

Matthew's last name is Moss, and he's a "Host." No real clues as to what the means - maybe some sort of inward-focused shamanism? Pulling in specific spirits, one at a time, and using them? Similar to Evan's firebird routine?

Edith's last name is James, and she's called the "Girl by Candlelight." Not much to go on here either. The specific title and the fact that she's "complex spirit" make me think she's a unique case, not falling neatly into any category - though the eyes and the hat remind me some of the Little Match Girl? Could be a ghost or ghost-adjacent along those lines.

Guttermuck girl is named Alpeana, and she's a "Mare" - a nightmare, presumably? I think there was one of those in Pact, in the interlude with the interview about master/familiar relationships. No clue what that shakes out as, theme-wise.

Big guy and winged woman are both Faeries, which I was not expecting. Winged woman is Maricica, of Dark Autumn, and big guy is Guilherme, of Summer Above. Those are presumably Courts? They sound pretentious enough. (Strange that they seem to get along, if so. Also, there's no mention of them being exiles - so why are they in nowheresville Kenneth?)

John (last name Stiles) is a "Dog of War." Gave Lucy bad vibes, but the other two seem less effected. Does he work for an Incarnation of War? (My gut says no, as that would be too similar to Conquest for Wildbow to want to retread that territory.) Is it a practice style, then? Conflict, battles, contests - victory and triumph feeding a ever-hungry fire? Magic war profiteering?

The singing kids are officially "The Hungry Choir," and they're a "Ritual Incarnate." Still no more details on their physical appearance, which makes me think it's not important - they're not zombies. All damage seems to be to the mouths and teeth, which would fit with them being "hungry." Are they like piranhas then, smelling blood and descending in a frenzy? The result of a successful ritual, or one interrupted, left unfinished?

Miss - unknown. Still the suspicion there is a red herring. Her unknown nature might indicate that she was around even before Matthew/Edith entered the scene?

Base on this information alone, my top suspects would be Guilherme (because Faeries suck, and he seems like he might be a Hunter) or John (if outsiders are drawn in by the murder, and bring conflict with them, he might stand to gain).

#Pale #Lost For Words 1.3