#more unhelpful lol

[disruptivevoib]

as someone new to the cccc fandom i keep seeing all of these AUs of HMS with different names and I want to look into them more but it seems like theres a lot. got any sort of starting guide or direction if ur willing to share it?

OH god. no I do not unfortunately. I can't say there is any big directory. I know CJFS has AU threads, CJFS being the fan discord server.

As for my aus, I do try to use tags of names of each of my aus! Like sun down or eleutheromania or lacuna or swap! But for others. I can't say whether or not its the case?

If I had a bit more time tonight I'd go through and find all the big long rambly posts I've made but there are quite a few!

I know ones under the cjverse or cjverse chatroom tag are also from an rp I'm in which may have stuff from other people too.

Sorry to not be of much help here anon

#voidthoughts #I unfortunately would love to make a directory of my own aus but I have such little energy to do so #and so much anxiety over talking too much and rambling on so long no one gets what I mean #sorry anon! #I will say #lacuna au #sun down au #eleutheromania #or #eleuthermania au #are good! #swap au #too should work? if you look at em on my blog? Sorry! #asks #I am also kind of in my own bubble of the fandom. Im not big into other peoples aus besides those in cjverse very often which is prolly eve #more unhelpful lol

[liquidstar]

Oh fuck tomorrow I'm going to be a little birthday boy I keep almost forgetting

#it's probably bc i dont have specific plans im just playing it by ear based on how the newborn will be #(the amount of time I'll be needed w the other kids basically depends on how much sleep the parents got the night before lol) #so i dont wanna be out too late... ahh i miss the club bro i wanna go #i love kids just to be clear which is why i do this but i also think I've gotten any child rearing out of my system #so i dont want my own. in a way it's freeing bc my future will just be for me and i won't have to worry about this stuff long term lol #ah but if I'm free on the 4th theres also something else i wanna do so maybe i shouldn't get drunk anyway #maybe just wait for the next free day 🤷‍♂️ we'll see #I've been highover BAD though shit lasted until like 8pm the next day. and i had to take the day off w the kids #luckily there happened to be other family there that took over but dude it sucked. i remember trying to help them in the morning like #ok sorry 4 year old trying to find pants i have to lay down in your bed you can do it by yourself i believe in you #so. taking the day off was a good call for their sakes too lol #he was fine just to be clear he could've done it on his own either way. i was just unhelpful 😅 i promise im usually way more attentive

[themetalvirus]

#exoticbutterstxt #its oversharing hours anyway i dislike my therapist #shes not the worst ive ever had but jesus. #'thats just the way it is'ing me about my experiences #with fucking INSTITUTIONAL ABUSE. is really shitty. in my opinion. as a THERAPIST #cant get a new one in a timely manner so im stuck making no progress with this lady #cuz whenever i open up more about sensitive stuff shes like. #so unhelpful and honestly kind of dismissive. #like. girl help lol. thats your job. please

[doloresdisparue]

i love when ppl Online are like "lolita is about how WOMEN are silenced" like i love nabokov but a) that man was NOT a feminist and b) dolores gender was entirely decided by the fact that his own child was a boy and if he'd had a girl the child in lolita would have been a boy he said that himself also male csa victims do not fare better in being believed and acting otherwise is not feminist i beg you to think for a hot second before posting

#lolita novel #vladimir nabokov #also nabokov straight up thought women couldnt write as well as men lets not give him more cookies than he deserves lol #sorry if this is controversial but im tired #the effort to make this a gender issue primarily is soooo harmful #like obvs there are specifically gendered ways in the way survivors are treated #but 'lolita is about hashtag girlhood' is both factually wrong and unhelpful #the RESPONSE to lolita certainly is in many ways #but thats a more nuanced discussion already

[alexa-crowe]

i think it's long past time that people accept that some of us are not meant to have random jobs just to make money.

#i really truly am holding out for my first job to actually be something related to screenwriting bc i genuinely #GENUINELY think it would be like. mental health bad to have one that's not? #i hate when i get pressured to get a job bc it's like. it's that simple to YOU. i however have enough struggles w/o a job #i really don't think people understand that i NEED to be able to dedicate large amounts of time to my hyperfixations #especially if i'm ever meant to make it in a job i DO like #i just don't think i'd end up in a good place mentally in a pissy job i don't like on top of school work #i think it's asking for trouble #rambling #especially bc most of the jobs for me rn are people facing and that's like. LOL please no. #like hashtag first world problems or whatever ik ik but it's so unhelpful to pressure me like congrats you have now put me off even more

[hollywoodsargeant]

finally finished the lol fic i started a thousand million years ago… Yes. liam vs oscar returns but this time logan is more cunty than slutty idk i never know what to write here. it’s porn

#also it’s like 3 am #but lol!!! i have posted lol!!! #we love lol #icr how i tagged this last time. whatever #took me entirely too long to finish this #somehow the vision was both vivid and unhelpful #which is the WORST! #but we made it. success story #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 fic rec #loscar #lol #miamis fic #i’m begging for more lol enjoyers #go read and enjoy lol #this is a demand

[viksalos]

reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does

pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess

cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,

#text #hmm. this post was funnier in my head #to be clear i am not one of those ''aut1sm is a superpower'' people and i'm aware that my ''gifts'' afford me significant privilege #but they also used to be things i liked about myself even when i was depressed #now that i'm anywhere from 3-5 yrs into burnout and can't rly *access* my gifts in the capacity i used to be able to anymore #it's rly hard to be positive about things. lol #i used to think that if people were going to think i was weird forever that i should at least be useful #which may not be possible to the degree it once was. and i realize was also a damaging and unhelpful mindset to begin with #tbh i'm rly jealous of the zoomers who seem to have more knowledge about/be more accepting of this stuff. #i think i was just in denial for years. but after looking into it more i'm more certain i'm aut1stic than i've been of anything in my life #which is significant considering the; yknow; identity issues. lol #it's kind of hilarious how many of my old text posts just scream ''undiagnosed aut1stic burnout'' in retrospect #sorry for all the behaviors and stuff. i love my mutuals but i think i have to be on this website less #while i figure my stuff out. i'll still check in but not as often #feel free to reach out in the meantime. i already miss a lot of my friends i lost contact with while going thru it <3 #wow these tags got away from me. ok bye

[obstinaterixatrix]

curios how tiny is tiny cat?

she’s smaller than tango but bigger than chacha

#ask #anonymous #sorry I thought the most unhelpful answer possible would be a funny bit lol #but I have a real answer #she’s like maybe a little bit smaller than average sized #chacha’s abyssinian (I’m not looking up spelling) and that’s a lithe breed #like… 6 pounds? #you can cradle chacha in one arm and she fits completely #tiny is more like… 9 pounds? #you can cradle her in one arm but there’s a little spillover #tango has just reached 20 pounds. to sister’s distress. #you need to hold him with both arms

[iron-sides]

figured out why i recognized the name james somerton

#my thots #ive seen like one or two of his videos but they came off less as informative and more as like #condescending? OH MY GOD HE WAS THE YURI ON ICE GUY TOO never mind it was 3 videos #anyway. devastating blow i thought he was mediocre not. this shit #im making a slideshow about les amis btw lol #i saw a post weeks ago about how funny a les amis intro a la kpop unhelpful guys and went hey ive wanted to edit more videos and that Would #be funny. so #here i am

[palms-upturned]

.

#meg talks #i think the funniest thing abt jv discourse is that he’s like. mainly irrelevant to the game #(by his own choice. lol) #like. i feel like a lot of ppl are just making up a guy #(which is fine and fun) #and then if somebody points out that the actual guy’s role in disco elysium #is p much just to be unhelpful #they will act like u just shot their dog 😭 #might even send u some anon hate about how u just hate jean bc ur a degenerate like harry #(not so fine and fun) #just to keep things spicy #like ah i see. cranky abt people talking abt jv’s brand of ableism #bc u took it personally on account of being the exact same brand of ableist #aren’t you. #anyway idc about this discourse i literally don’t even dislike jean’s character #i think he’s a funny little loserman and written super well #i think it’s fine to find him compelling and flesh him out more #esp since it’s p clear from things the creators have said that jean ended up being a v different character than originally intended #including his role as ur partner #and like there’s plenty of things abt him to identify with #lots of juicy stuff w him and harry and their fucked up codependency #genuinely he’s interesting to delve into! #however some of u people are like. taking his cartoonishly awful ableism at face value #to the point of sending literal hate speech to my disabled friends #you are sending hate speech to somebody over A Jpeg. That Man Is Pixels He’s Not Gonna Fuck You #get your head out of your ass and log off 💀 #anyway.

[reenaria]

currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday

#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet #i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11 #so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner? #it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them #and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’ #which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him #he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol #but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men #and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny #and primarily attracted to women in general #like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian #but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem #idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it #i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore #i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know? #i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should #(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women) #(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺 #this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post #anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear #reena.txt

[fullandfairones]

tried adhd medication for the first time in my life today and ??? i don’t want to speak too soon but it might be a game changer

#again don’t want to speak too soon!!!! #i’ve been diagnosed w adhd for years but never medicated #so far i THINK it’s helping with my depressive fugue state but i’m not sure #it could just be that i spent all day outside #so i gotta give it a little time and see #i did get a lot done today but it’s not really a good measure because it was all gardening stuff #which i absolutely would’ve gotten done either way because i garden obsessively for hours #whenever i can #i’m going to take some tomorrow as well and try to clean my house before my doctors appointment #it also is a massive appetite suppressant because i haven’t been hungry all day and lately i’ve been raging with hunger #so i’ve had to force myself to stop and eat even tho i don’t want to #that aspect could be … unhelpful #BUT in a way it’s nice because i’ll be able to prepare and eat meals on a more set schedule and not when im dying of hunger trying to #find scraps lol #but anyways i am cautiously optimistic ! #now i just have to figure out a way to get an actual prescription because my friend just lent me some to try #i also think the dosage is probably pretty high which is good to know i can handle it being this high #well— actually i don’t know maybe i appear to be weird to everyone else ?? hahah

[justabunchofdragons]

Hihihi I'm obsessed w dw buuuut why's the deal w the master why is he like that? What's his and the doctor's history?

uhhhh .ohughg. the master is uh. well they go wayyyy back. they're both timelords yeah? so the only people left from their species and they are soo in love. no sorry thats a lie .kinda. omg this is so unhelpful sorry

ok so they're childhood friends turned archenemies and the master was basically driven to insanity by this thing the timelords had. its a bit of a mess ngl the show explains it much better but he hears drums constantly calls it the sound of war and is incredibly clever but also just. the opposite of the doctor. killing and murder and killing

there's been.. 3 incarnations of the master because they regenerate too so we had one that was around in Ten's time, another in 12 and >:) 13!!!!

actually this screenshot from the wiki is rly funny jkhfkgk

the master features in finales and big plot points because they're. rly important lol and it's just kinda. well they show up fuck things up for the doc eat shit and die 👍 fjkhjgkjk no theyre great the masters great. just. a bit of a wet cat

#sorry this was so unhelpful LOL uhhhh ya!!! feel free to ask if u have any more questions #have u met jack harkness yet ohhh i can't wait for u to meet him #he also has a crazy backstory hehehe >:))) #dw posting #theo!! #little people in my phone

[dragqueenpentheus]

three hours left till therapy can time PLEASE move a little faster

#im sooooo well aware of how fucking bonkers i am right now #i knew it was coming like i had SUUUCH a good high last week with the poetry preformanc and i was writing without a second thought for DAYS #and im CLINGING to that shit with my fingernails #i can feel it slipping i can feel the paranoia and i HATE it #cause that good feeling was SO good. and lasted SO long. and the plummet is always so much worse proportionately than the good #and the feelings and little suspicions and fears and. like they are growing and starting up gain and its infuriating #stop that i was doing so good. things were going so well. this shit doesnt matter so much of this shit doesnt matter none of this matters #okay no thats. an unhelpful direction god damn it. #i think i gotta. vanish for a bit #i finished one of my books yesterday too which was a stupid move bc i KNOW i need distraction #just have to try and climb back into other ones #fuuhhhhck #irl #personal #truly i think theres. more wrong with my brain than my therapist is helping me with but !!!!!!!!! lol #like idk #mental health cw #what cs are needed here idk my therapist wont diagnose me with anything

[steampunk-raven]

advil not kicking in :) not sure what I was expecting tbf but it’s not like I can tell my ob-gyn that I need stronger meds and have her *listen* to me

#I told her that i regularly get 10/10 pain just from period cramps and have significant bleeding n she was just like. “ok but have you tried #TWO Advils?” #so I tried that. Didn’t work. She prescribed *three* advils #that also obviously didn’t work #then she suggested increasing amount of dosages (as opposed to the dosage itself) which is *currently* not working #and it’s fucking dangerous longterm. and because I have *at least* 10 day long periods and I already am prescribed nsaids for my #various chronic pains it is so much more horrid for my body but I have yet to have a doctor prescribe me anything but nsaids #which is also pretty funny for my nerve pain because it takes a simple google search to see that nsaids usually don’t affect nerve pain muc #i hate the medical system #vent #vent in tags #also bonus: she diagnosed me with pcos but didn’t put it on my medical record (saying “🥺🥺 but you’re so young 🥺🥺 we can’t diagnose you #for another few years” then kept extending the amount of years needed for a proper diagnosis) #and she’s not REFUSING to do any tests otherwise I’d tell her to document her refusal but she’s still being generally unhelpful #what’s worse is that I do get the sense that she cares about me *as a person*. like she sees a person who is suffering and feels empathy fo #me but she doesn’t care about me *in a professional manner* #like idk I’m glad she cares that i’m suffering I wish she would do the steps of helping me through it (as I am paying her to do) #I could switch but there’s a lot of complications there cuz there’s a lot of shit goin on lol

[angelusteal]

It really should be mandatory to do both retail/customer service and online customer service.. Knowing what it's like being on the receiving end really does help you a) treat workers better and b) get WAY better service imo

#it helps you be more concise when ordering/asking for help in online chats #and it gives workers a break from the millions that wear them down with being unhelpful/draining 😬 #I went out for a few dinners this summer with people that have very clearly never waited on anyone in any way and holyyyy shit #by the end of one of them the server was only making eye contact with me and a 26yo at the table #it was harrowing lol #(of course we over tipped)