#more delirium | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fandom-kiddo · 1 year

Text

A/N: ok I pinky swear I will write all your requests but I wrote this in a senioritis daze to make myself feel better. I hope y’all enjoy it!

CW: swearing, Tess and Joel have an irreconcilable fight, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, mentions of known character deaths, grumpy but soft spot for you, female reader, AFAB geared pet names, reader is a crybaby but we love them!(self indulgent if u squint)

Cg! Joel Miller X Little! Fem Reader

Joel didn’t know about your regression until coming up from a run earlier than expected and finding you on his floor in the living room, babbling happily as you played with old hot wheels. He looked in disbelief at your sock footed figure wearing an old t shirt of his and tiny shorts. You look notice of him after a minute, looking up and eyes growing wide. You began to cry and stumble over apologies with a lisp, backing away until you found yourself almost in the corner of the apartment near the radio.

Joel’s eyes softened as he approached you softly and carefully. “Hey little lady, let’s come out of that dirty corner hm? Come here, it’s alright.” His gruff voice said comfortingly. You looked up in wonder, crawling towards him gently and slowly. He crouched down, opening his arms to you. You went a little faster, letting Joel pick you up into his burly arms. Joel thanked whatever god there was that he knew what the hell this was from taking that psych class in college before outbreak day. He held you on his hip, running a hand through your hair gently.

“Hey little one, how old are you right now?” He asked gently. You looked away shyly and held up three fingers. He smiled and placed a soft peck on each finger, eliciting a giggle from you.

“You’re a tiny little bub, okay you wanna take a nap together or do you want me to make something for you?” He asked, smiling. A tiny part of you adult brain thought back on the fact that this is the only time, pretty much ever that you had seen Joel not scowling while awake.

“Uhhh daddy make foods?” You asked, looking up at him. His heart melted at the name and he grinned.

“Sure thing kiddo, I can make you something to eat, How’s grilled cheese sound?” He asked. You nodded happily, resting your head on the crook of his neck, inhaling the distinctly Joel scent of pine, soap, and earth. He sung a song that was stuck in his head softly. You recognized it pretty quickly, humming happily with him to the tune. So there you both were, your head resting on his shoulder as you hummed along with Joel singing Little Girl in Bloom by Thin Lizzy.

You sucked you thumb softly before Joel scolded you slightly. “No honey that’s yucky, you got a pacifier, darlin?” He asked sweetly. You shook you head, little tears rubbing down your cheeks softly as your eyes screwed shut and you tried not breathing to not sob.

Joel quickly set you on the counter, taking off your grilled cheese so it didn’t burn before coming up to you and stroking away the tears with his large, calloused thumbs. He briefly thought your resembled a cherub when you were this small. “Sugar you gotta breathe, come on darlin, breathe for daddy, it’s alright, I can grab you one or a teether honey bee, but you gotta breathe” he said, trying to breathe audibly to have you copy his breathing. You let out a sob as you began breathing, looking up at him as you kept sobbing.

“Good job honey bee, good girl, cmon honey now you gotta calm it down, breathe with daddy” he took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out “cmon babygirl, follow daddy” he encouraged, rubbing your arms firmly and comforting as he began grounding you, your breathing eventually beginning to bring you back down, copying Joel. Joel let out a sigh of relief.

“Good girl, so so well for daddy. You can’t just quit breathing on me honey, it’s okay to cry, it’s not okay to stop breathing, alright? You scare me more with no breathing before ever scaring me with some crying, okay darlin?” You nodded softly, crying slightly and frowning, rubbing your eye roughly.

“Hey, hey it’s okay honey, you just did what you thought was right, no need crying over spilt milk, darlin, we’re both learning, okay?” Joel told you lovingly, kissing your temple.

“Sorry daddy, m didn’t mean to scare you.. I jus gotta be tough or I get hurt” you said softly, lip wobbling.

If Joel’s heart wasn’t feeling cracked already, you broke it.

“Why you say that honey? Who told my little girl that?” He asked, carding a hand through your hair. You shook your head, biting your lip hard.

“Darlin, who said it” he asked, trying to keep levelheaded.

“She’s gonna get in trouble if I tell daddy, m don’t wanna be bad or mean” you said, whimpering.

“It’s okay, you gotta tell daddy these things honey, who’s she?” He asked softly, despite the rage he felt coiling like an angry diamondback in his gut.

“was um.. was ‘ess” you said shyly, curling up on yourself. Joel was speechless. His best friend? He could see you retreating into yourself as you curled in on yourself.

“Okay, thank you for telling me, sugar, let’s get some food in your tummy hmm?” He asked. You nodded softly, Joel restarted the stove and finished cooking your grilled cheese before putting it on a plate and cutting it into four for you. He kissed your temple and helped you into a chair at the bar in his kitchen, letting you eat.

“Daddy eat?”you asked, worried. He shook his head.

“No, daddy hasn’t eaten yet.” He said lovingly, smiling softly.

“Daddy eat wif me?” You ask, feeling smaller. He smiled, wondering to himself how he got so lucky to have such a caring little.

“Alright darlin, let daddy whip myself up one real quick sugar” he peppered your cheeks in kisses and made you giggle. He swears it sounds like a porcelain dinner bell. He smiles fondly, making his quickly before plating it and joining you at the kitchen bar. His was just cut into two. He ate it next to you, you leaning your head into your caregiver as you ate.

“Daddy mad?” You asked softly, eating your square of grilled cheese.

“Not at you darlin, never at you” he said in between bites. He leaned into you slightly.

“Daddy mad at ‘ess?” You asked shyly. He nodded slightly.

“Why did she tell you that, sugar? You know?” He asked gently.

“M was crying cos I was worried n missed you when you went on the run before last n it took longer than it should n she got mad at me for crying n said “stop crying. In this world you gotta be tough. You’re not tough, you’re gonna get hurt or get yourself killed.” N I kept crying cos I was worried n she scared me more n she slapped me..” you said sadly, tiny tears rolling down your cheek. Joel had a new found anger that coiled in his chest like a pissed off rattler at this information.

“Darlin, the only time you can’t cry is infront of the infected. Only gotta be tough until the infected aren’t gonna try and hurt you honey bee. In the QZ or away from infected it’s okay, if daddy says you gotta be tough that’s the only time it’s not okay, okay?” He asked, wiping away tears.

“Mkay daddy” you said finishing your grilled cheese together.

———-

“What the hell is wrong with you Tess?” Joel asked angrily after going to Tess’ apartment.

“What the fuck are you on about now, Joel?” She asked, frustrated.

“Why the fuck did she think that crying is a death sentence? She tried not breathing so she wouldn’t cry until she was getting blue in the face and I had to pull her out of a fucking panic attack Tess!”he said angrily. Tess looked at him and scoffed.

“It’s not my fault the idiot quit fuckin breathing, Joel. I told her to stop crying the run before last because me and you both know that stupid shit gets you killed with the infected.”Tess said coldly.

“She’s not an idiot, let’s get that straight. She might be a crybaby, Tess, but she’s my crybaby. It might get her hurt outside of the QZ around a fucking clicker, but not in here. She thought it wasn’t okay to cry at all. That’s who she is, she’s innocent and sensitive and that’s what I love about her. She doesn’t need you filling her head with this poison telling her not to be herself unless she wants to die. Fuck you, Tess.” Joel seethed.

“Now you love her? Cut me a fucking break Joel. She’s a crybaby and pretty much useless. She can’t handle this fucking world and thinks crying is the fuckin’ solution.” Tess sneered, scoffing slightly.

“Yeah I do love her Tess, and you ain’t got even an iota of right to tell her that kinda shit!”Joel yelled at her.

“What, you think you can save her? Like you were some fucking Clint Eastwood? Like your so good at saving people? Like you saved Sarah-“ Tess jeered.

“Don’t you dare fucking bring her into this! How fucking dare you even begin trying to bring her into this? I confide in you about shit and that’s what you do? What about your husband? Or your kid? I’m the fuck up? I thought we were fuckin’ friends Tess. And another thing, you lay a fucking hand on her again, and I’ll saw it off myself. Your not my fuckin’ friend. You’re fuckin’ dead to me.” Joel seethed like an angry rattlesnake, turning and storming out out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Joel stormed down the stairs, wiping his eyes. He couldn’t believe someone who he called his best friend would stoop as low as to attack his biggest inner demon. He felt bad about it, but she struck that nerve first. He shook his head and instead thought about you, willing himself to find his way back to you as he went through the tattered streets of the QZ.

————-

Joel walked back home, buying a pacifier and a few other little things with his ration cards. He walked up the stairs to find you in his apartment, this time wrapped up in one of his flannels, curled up in bed.

“Did my little honey bee get sleepy? Aw hon, how about you and daddy take a nap together hm?” He asked. You nodded sleepily and reached for Joel. He cooed and toed off his boots and changed into sleep shorts and a worn shirt. He picked you up and got into his bed, pulling a thick blanket over both of you. You remained latched onto him, nose nuzzled into his neck.

“Missed daddy, didn’t wanna cry” you said softly. He smiled softly.

“I was only gone an hour babygirl” he chuckled softly, swiping hair away from your forehead and kissing her forehead.

“M know bu still missed you” you said, nosing at the hollow of his collar bone, wrapping your arms tighter around his middle. He rubbed your back affectionately, holding you tighter.

“If it makes you feel better, sugar, I missed my girl too” he smiled softly. You giggled softly, a part of you fluttering at the pet names. My girl, baby girl, darlin, sugar, little lady, my little honey bee, mine. You almost cried at the pure care and love Joel gave you. You hadn’t even noticed the tears on your cheeks until Joel felt the tears on his neck.

“Why are you cryin, my little honey bee?” He asked sitting up slightly, looking down worriedly.

“Happy tears, Jus’ care so much for me, I’m jus’ so lucky s’all” you said through your wavering voice and sniffles to accompany it.

“You’re my girl, that’s my job, little lady” he smiled fondly, wiping away your tears. You placed your hand over his, placing a delicate kiss to his palm. He cooed and peppered your eyes in little kisses, making your little sniffles turn to giggles.

“Y’know I got ya some gifts while I was out”he said, dragging his knuckles lightly over the back of your arms.

“Daddy got gifts? F’r me? Why?” You asked curiously, looking up at him.

“Just wanted to, sugar” he said softly, a lopsided smile gracing his lips.

“Can I see em?” You asked, nibbling on your thumb.

“Yeah we can go look at em honey, cmon” he said, picking you up as he got up, carrying you to the living room where a brown satchel laid on the table. He set you down on the couch, you reaching for him. He chuckled softly”m right here, darlin, daddy’s not going anywhere.”he said comfortingly, giving you a swift kiss on your temple. You giggled happily, watching as he grabbed the bag. He pulled out a pacifier, handing it to you. You gasped happily, flapping your hands excitedly.

Joel smiled, pulling out a teether, handing it to you. You squealed in excitement. He chuckled softly, pulling out a bottle and sippy cup with Elmo and big bird on it, respectively. Little tears came to your eyes with the fond memories of your childhood when watching Sesame Street.

“Thank yous s’much, daddy” you sniffled, hugging his toned arm.

“No problem, sugar, hold the tears honey bun, I still got another gift for my sweet girl” he said, kissing your forehead.

“‘Nother one?” You asked curiously, Joel hummed in conformation.

Joel pulled out a handmade stuffed animal one of the other ladies in the QZ made. It was a liitle white lamb with a pink ribbon on the neck. “I saw it and didn’t think you had any stuffed animals, and it reminded me of you so much I had to get it for my little lamb” he said affectionately, giving you the stuffed lamb.

You really we’re crying now, grabbing your stuffed lamb and holding it close. You began getting into his lap, burying your face in his chest as you cried.

“Thank you’s s’much, i love it all” you cried, holding onto him so tight, like you were scared he’d disappear. He hugged you tightly, holding you in his burly arms.

“You’re welcome, darlin, you like em?” He asked, running a hand through your hair.

You nodded”I love em, daddy” you smiled, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled, thumbing away your tears.

“Okay darlin I think we’ve had enough excitement that a nap is in order, you want your pacifier?” He asked.

You smiled, nodding happily as he put the pacifier in your mouth. You clicked the silicone against itself, getting used to it. He smiled at you, rubbing your cheek affectionately. You leaned into the feeling, suckling at your pacifier, feeling yourself get sleepier at the comforting item.

“Okay sugar, let’s get us to that nap, little lady, you got your lamb?”he asked, smiling slightly at your droopy eyed, relaxed face. You nodded sleepily, rubbing your eye before wrapping your arm around his neck, holding your lamb in the other hand. Joel got up, hiking you up on his hip. He kissed your nose, smiling. You gave him a kiss on the lips with your pacifier still in you mouth and giggled. He grinned, carrying you back to the room and reassuming the position you were originally in.

“Wuv daddy”you mumbled softly around your pacifier. He smiled and kissed your head, letting the firm peck linger for a moment.

“I love you too darlin, so much. My babygirl.” He said lovingly and you held your lamb closer. He rubbed your back comfortingly, shaking his leg gently to mimic rocking your you. You snuggled closer, letting out a sigh of comfort. Finally you closed your eyes, sleep soon overtaking you as Joel held you in your arms, rocking you and humming softly. You felt safe for the first time in so long. Joel made you feel safe in this awful world.

You did the same for Joel. Gone were the nightmares of losing his daughter, of holding her as light rapidly lost in her eyes and her quickened sharp breaths soon fell silent. Joel hated hearing Sarah hyperventilating so, but would’ve given anything to hear that rather than the silence of her soul leaving her body. For once he didn’t let sleep consume him just to relive the worst moment of his life. As he laid with you, holding you tightly in his burly arms as he rocked you slightly. He drifted to sleep as you breathing evened out. And for once, He slept soundly, intertwined with you as your hearts and breaths moved in synch.

#age regression #i need more agere fics ngl #the last of us agere #the last of us #joel tlou #joel miller #crybaby!reader #anxious!reader #little!reader #cg!joel miller #cg! joel #pls like it #3am delirium #fandom kiddo writes

718 notes · View notes