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1kook · 4 years

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kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!!

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that.

—

#goldenclosetnet #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jeon jeongguk smut #jjk fic #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts smut #mine

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madasthesea · 4 years

Note

I’m sorry for being so mean. I had a really bad day and didn’t mean to say such awful things. But I am frustrated my fics always get ignored, especially by the big names in the fandom such as yourself that claim to support everyone. I’ve written so many fics in this fandom and have been doing so for over a year, yet I only have 30 subscribers. I get really frustrated and feel like I’m a bad writer because everyone ignores me and my fics. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.

(2/2) For a fan community that claims they are inclusive, everyone sure doesn’t act that way. Everyone already has their friends and people like me who don’t have many friends get ignored. The big names in the fandom don’t support or read the fics by the new people. It’s not just me. I’ve never received a single kudo or comment from you or anyone else that’s popular like you. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but people don’t read my fics.

Ok, I’m answering this in the middle of the night in the hopes that not a lot of people will see it so it won’t become A Thing and then as soon as this fic exchange is over I am turning my anons off forever. Anon, I guess I have to give you credit for coming to apologize, but I have to say, where before I was perfectly capable of laughing off your extremely rude message, I have to say, now I’m annoyed. Because there is not a single instance or bad day or frustration that makes what you said acceptable. You came into my inbox and threw a temper tantrum because you knew my name and I happen to have anons on unlike most of the “fandom big names.” You told me I had the worst fics in the fandom, told me I publish outlines instead of stories and accused me of writing incestual pedophilia because you had a bad day? I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re young because that is the only possible excuse I could give you. As I said in my original response, if I were already an anxious writer, you could have caused me to delete all of my fics and put me off of writing forever. Someone commented on your original message and said that they don’t post their writing because of messages like that one. You’re right you shouldn’t have taken it out on me, and you wouldn’t have if your name had been associated with it. But here we are, and I’m going to try to make it so this never happens again, at least with the two of us.

Now, onward to your frustrations. I am sorry that you aren’t getting the attention you want, but one) yelling at me on anon isn’t going to fix that. Two) not to be like callous and insensitive, but that happens to almost every writer I know. I’ve been writing fanfiction for 12 years. This is the seventh fandom I’ve written for and no one ever read my fics before this. My first year on AO3 I published six stories and had 500 views total. I get the frustration, but sometimes you just have to get the perfect combination of exposure, plot, and interest. Three) Do you have any idea how many stories get published in the Peter Parker & Tony Stark tag a day? I’m sorry, I can’t read all of them. I don’t want to read all of them, in fact I have 14 different tags blacklisted. Just because I am a “big name” does not mean I owe you a comment or a kudos. If I like your story, I will tell you. Chances are, I haven’t even seen one of your stories, because I’m an adult with a job and hobbies and writing of my own to do. Most of the “big names” are the exact same except a lot of them also have school. If you want someone to read your stories, ask them. Say “hey, I respect you and your opinion, could you look at this for me?” They will probably say yes unless they have a good reason not to. Don’t just sit there and wait for it to happen and get mad when it doesn’t. Also, this is the third time someone has yelled at me for not reading or commenting on their fics and it makes me less inclined to leave kudos in general in case someone comes and gets mad that I read their fic but didn’t comment. So uh… don’t do this again.

As for the community, do you want to know how to make friends? Send asks (nice ones) not on anon. We can’t interact with you if you don’t know who you are. Reblog our fics. Comment on our posts. You can’t make friends if no one knows you exist. And the only way to show you exist is show yourself in our notes, in our inboxes. Sitting in your corner of tumblr and being bitter isn’t going to help anyone. This fandom is welcoming and it is kind and it is supportive. You saw how many people came to my defense tonight. If you talk to those people, they’ll talk back, but they can’t reach out to every single Irondad blog, it just isn’t feasible.

And finally, how to get your fics read more. Like I said, part of it is just… luck. I got in at the very beginning, as did losingmymindtonight, parkrstark, several others, and had already established myself before IW came out and the fandom got bigger. Lucky break on my part, but I’m also a good writer because I’m 25 and I have a Master’s in a writing heavy field and I’ve been writing my entire life. Sometimes it just takes practice. But there is stuff that all good fics have in common, so here we go:

1) Good grammar, good spelling, good punctuation.

I don’t know who you are so I have no idea what your writing is like, but this is stuff I had to tell college students as a teacher, so I’m just going to go over it.

Are there line breaks between every paragraph? No? There need to be. It’s hard to read when all of the words are bunched together, meaning automatic exits will happen, regardless of content.

Do you start a new paragraph every single time a new person speaks? You should.

“When someone is speaking,” I asked, “do you put a comma before the speech tag?” Commas, not periods. Not periods then commas. Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.

Are you writing in first or second person (I or you)? Don’t.

Pay attention to your tenses. It is very confusing reading a story that switches tenses every sentence.

Are you capitalizing the beginning of every sentence and proper noun? You have to. Reading all lowercase takes energy and concentration and readers don’t like to put more effort in than they’re used to. Also it’s just pointless.

Get a beta reader. Get grammarly (but the free version, don’t pay) or another editing service. Google anything you have a question about. EDIT YOUR WRITING.

2) New ideas

Every fandom has tropes they love, but not every fic can be a trope fic. Every fic I write is, if not completely new, a spin on a popular trope.

Yes, there are some popular field trip fics, but most of them get lost in the weeds because they are all the same. And most of the people I talk to don’t even like them. (This counts for May dies fics, sensory overload… If you’re going to write it, you have to make it different and you have to make it good.)

Look to other movies or books for ideas, check out irondad-fic-ideas, something. Write something new, something only you can write, and at least some people will notice.

3) Good characterization

Now apparently everything I write is OOC, so maybe I’m not the best person to be giving advice on this :/ (I’m still annoyed. I’m getting over it)

BUT–the best way to write a well-known character is to know the source material. Listen to the way they talk, watch how they move. Ignore fanon. It’s hard, but try. Peter isn’t actually a perpetual ray of sunshine, chatter box 12 year old like we often write him, Tony isn’t 100% sarcasm and incapable of recognizing his own feelings.

If you can hear the character say it in their actual voice, it’s probably a good line.

4) Misc.

Fandom rule of thumb: cute fluff and hardcore whump win out over deep character studies on convoluted plot lines. If you’re just looking for hits or maybe a fic to establish yourself, that’s a good way to do it.

If you’re posting a multi-chapter fic, don’t post it all at once. People will comment on each chapter as you post and you’ll get more hits.

Respond to comments, especially at the early stages. It makes your readers more invested, it builds friendships, and it makes your stats look better.

There’s a blog that supports little known writers in this fandom! Rec your fics there!

Make sure to never, ever put “I suck at summaries” or “fic is better than summary” it is an instant turnoff. If you can’t write the thing that makes me want to read the fic well, why would I think I want to read the fic?

Tagging on AO3 is vital. Tag the right relationships, tag the right emotions (angst, fluff, hurt/comfort). I often sort just by these. Always put in the category, (M/M, F/M, etc.) and the rating. There is no reason not to, but not doing so makes people less likely to read. Always tag triggers.

Never steal fics or ideas. If a story inspires you, you can ask the author if you can write something similar and then link in your story back to theirs. Nothing will make you less popular in a fandom than stealing work.

Lastly, I know authors constantly talk about how important comments and kudos are, and they are so important to bolstering spirits, I get that, but if you aren’t writing for yourself first, you will always be disappointed. You should enjoy your fic as much when you read it in your word doc as when you read it online with comments and kudos. And maybe you write really niche stuff that doesn’t appeal to a lot of people, but churning out carbon copies of the Fandom Tropes and hoping for hits is not going to satisfy you and you will keep being frustrated.

Let’s not do this again, shall we? Next time you have a question, ask me nicely.

#answered #it is 2:30 in the morning but I was so annoyed I couldn't sleep so here we go :)))))#Anonymous

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alltimewhat · 4 years

Text

Favorite Flans Songs!!!

Hi!! I apologize in advance for the length of this submission bc it was v hard to narrow down this list fgadgsdf. I have a few categories I’ve split the songs up into which are: top tier, bangers, funky, and misc. for the songs I couldn’t really choose a category for, so some of those might also fall into the other categories. Also the songs I’ve chosen are in no particular order. Note: I don’t have commentary for every song.

TOP TIER

Another First Kiss - This is hands down my favorite tmbg love song, tied with Ampersand. I’ll sheepishly admit both of these songs bring out the hopeless romantic in me and not to get sappy on main but it makes me want to find a love I can associate these songs with someday.

Ampersand - See above dfgsdfsdf

Sometimes a Lonely Way - I think this is a flawless song! It gives me chills every time I listen to it and it evokes some sort of nostalgic comfort in me. It’s overall a beautiful track and so is the official video that goes with it.

Good to be Alive - This song gives me a new perspective on existence and forces me to think about mortality. I find myself appreciating life a little bit more every time I listen to it. It’s hopeful.

Snowball in Hell - Lovely arrangement and lovely vocals. I think Flans’ vocals really come through on all the tracks he sings on Lincoln, but especially on this track, as well as The World’s Address and Lie Still, Little Bottle.

Reprehensible - vocals vocals vocals and lovely instrumental arrangement!!!

Extra Savoir Faire - How many times do I have to say “vocals” to show my appreciation for Flans’ range dfhdfhdfhf. his voice is A++ in this song and his falsetto takes me OUT.

The World’s Address - see above :)

Lie Still, Little Bottle - see above :)

I’m A Coward - I was going to quote a line or two but after further inspection it seems every line of this song is Too relatable.

Hide Away Folk Family - A lovely little song about arson. Great harmonies in this song. My favorite line, however, is spoken by linnell, “abandon hope for future plans”.

BANGERS

Cyclops Rock - My absolute favorite line from this song is “gotta find a new place to hang out cause I’m tired of living in hell.” like go OFF king!! it’s also just v relatable.

Santa’s Beard - This is a fun one. My favorite line is “thrilling christmas, trembling fear.” just bc i like the echo of linnell after flans dfhafdh.

It’s Kickin’ In - This song ALWAYS puts me in a good mood!! High energy classic rock n roll babey!!! my personal vibe report of this track: stellar.

Take Out The Trash - Flans said women’s rights. I quite like the bass in this song.

Feign Amnesia - Really REALLY enjoy the guitar solo in this one.

All The Lazy Boyfriends - This was one of my first Flans songs and I love it just as much as I did the first time I heard it. It’ll always be one of my favorites. Relatable lyrics are a big thing for me and my favorite, relatable lyrics from this song are “who needs a vacation, who needs a direction, who needs motivation when you live in your head?”

Out of Jail

Greasy Kid Stuff

Youth Culture Killed My Dog - Hyper Flansy is my favorite Flansy idontunderstandwhatchadidtomydog

Your Racist Friend - Speaks for itself I think :))

FUNKY (I really don’t have any commentary on any songs in this set in particular, I just think they’re easy to groove to with funky sounds, good bass lines, and great sax + other horns.)

S-E-X-X-Y

Employee Of The Month

Got Getting Up So Down

Pet Name

Dog Walker

Dirt Bike

Hall Of Heads

The Guitar

MISC.

Working Undercover For The Man

Cowtown - This one grew on me really fast and I’m so glad I gave it a chance

Mink Car - In the nicest way possible I think this would be wonderful elevator music.

I Can Hear You - I like this one bc it’s weird and ominous and it triggers my asmr

Sketchy Galore

We Live In A Dump

Lake Monsters

Lucky Ball And Chain - My favorite line from this one is “I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now”

I think I’m going to stop here but there’s definitely others that could replace any of these at any given time lol. I hope you like what I’ve come up with and I’m excited to see your response and how your list differs!!! -WOW this is excellent!!!!! the funny thing is i agree with pretty much. this entire list with maybe some rearranging o order (and i honestly personally dont like youth culture all that much- i just think it takes too long to get to the fast fun part!) but seriously this is excellent and i agree with pretty much this entire list. thank you so much for formatting this so nicely holy shit!!! ill have to make my own more structured list in a separate post so that this one doesnt become a novel HGFGBDGR but this is so cool. i love this i love seeing your opinions abt these specific songs AND its funny how much i agree with!!! i will say though, only because my favorite oc is based on it so ive listened to it 35483475634 times, hide away folk family’s bridge is actually not linnell speaking, but flans on a speech jammer!!!!!

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raevenlywrites · 4 years

Note

Happy STS! ❤️ I really love so much all the lore/worldbuilding things you post about your wips... Like Tybee's puzzles, and that story about the stars, and this other story about the goddesses too... Can I have anything more about it? Any kind of lore or worldbuilding facts? Thanks, I'll love it -chauceryfairytales

Here is an old file I found called “A bit about shapeshifters”. I hope this fits the bill @chauceryfairytales

A bit about shapeshifter races in Asylum

A preface: All modernday shapeshifters share a common origin, long lost to ancienthistory. The magic that forged them drew inspiration from thenaturalized world, from the fey creatures that arose from theElements. While modern peoples neither know nor care about theseorigins, it is worth keeping in mind that not every shapeshifter iswhat it seems, or thinks itself to be. Those with fey origins, nomatter how remote, are subject to different realities about magic.Those of the common shapeshifter ancestry have lost much of theirmagic over the generations, and now, most individuals are “normal”,outside of carrying a second animal soul.

Serpents: venomous(cobras, vipers) and non-venomous (pythons, and boas)

The venomous lines tendto have powerful magic, usually mirroring the color of their scales.Pythons and boas usually do not, though some interesting individualshave popped up here and there. In ancient times, cobra magic usuallydominated anyone of split parentage, and venomous tended to rule outover non. It is possible to be born split formed or blended form,displaying the talents and scales of both parents. Usually, suchpeople still only have a single serpent form, but there are rumoredto be some who call two entirely separate sets of scales.

For various reasons,serpents are often hit hardest during times of fear and war. Many ofthe lines known in ancient times are long lost, and with them, themagic they carried. Stories remain, but to most, they are just that:stories.

Avians: raptors (owls,hawks, eagles, and falcons) and passerines (basically any bird thatisn't a predator) *and corvids

Divided into twoclasses, the raptors and the passerines, based loosely on the birdtype they call. An ancient legend says that the first passerine wasborn when he lay down his magic willingly, to foster peace in awar-torn world. In our modern world, it is true that passerine typesalmost never have any magic, but even in the raptor types, magic isless and less common. Those raptors who do possess magic tend to bevery old, and very secretive. This may be due to the still lingeringdistrust of the griffics, a legendary nation of chimera: gryphons,hippogriffs, and wyverns. Even though nothing but rumors remain ofthe nation today, their reign was so absolute, fear of winged magicis hard to forget.

*Crows, ravens,magpies, and jays make up an outlier group known as crovids. Magiccan be found in their ranks, but not often. Some of these shiftersare of a similar background to the first passerines, while otherscome from more fey-like origins. The legends and superstitionssurrounding these groups are as varied as the cultures they findthemselves struggling to be a part of. In Riverside, most of thecorvids live uptown with the raptors, in a loose alliance with thewitch community. But it is equally common for corvids to integratewith passerine groups, or, in large enough numbers, to form their ownunits.

Felines: nations(tigers and lions), families (leopards and panthers), and solitaries(any) *and foxes

Like most of thepredator races, felines are better known for their martial prowessthan magical. Aside from the lions and tigers, felines tend to besolitary creatures, forming small familial bands, if anything. Eventhe great tiger nations are made up of smaller tribes, operating asindependent war-bands unless called together by their overlords. Somefeline forms also crop up in mixed species family groups, especiallyin remote and wild places like the North and the West, where magic ismore common, and unpredictable. Such peoples almost never ventureinto the more modernized lands, and so little is known about them.But, presumably, they feel the same nomadic urge common to otherfeline types. Like the cat types they call, feline magic tends to befickle, and it is not uncommon for a first shift to occur as late asearly adulthood, though it can occur much younger.

*While foxes are notclassically feline, behaviorally, they fall into this category. Likethe corvids, their ancestry may be common with other shifters types,while other lines descend from fey types. Fox magic, when it cropsup, leans towards illusions and dreams, Fire, or Earth.

Canids The Pack(wolves) and the solitaries (jackals and coyotes) *and The Den(hyenas)

Straight up,traditional Werewolves, without all the moon-gaga, silver-fearingbullshit. Wolves form rigid pack structures, with clear lines ofdominance leading to their absolute Alpha. Occasionally, Lone Wolvesare tolerated within a Pack's territory, either by being minor enoughto ignore, or by paying appropriate tribute. Lesser canids likejackals and coyotes are either ignored, or bullied. Might makes Rightin the canid world, and so the fierce dedication to structure is allthat keeps them from tearing themselves apart like animals. Fiercelyterritorial, the health of the local wolf pack either meansmeticulously guarded Order in their area, or barely contained gangviolence. Thankfully, canid races tend to be devoid of magic. It isalso not uncommon for their shapeshifting magic to be controlled,monitored, or even suppressed by their group's energy until puberty.

*Call a hyena a dog andthey will bite you. Despite, or maybe because of, their similardominance behaviors, hyenas and wolves war nearly every time theyclash. As a general rule, hyenas fight less for dominance, usuallyforming a clear line of command based on experience and age, ratherthan brute strength. In Riverside, the local Den are somewhatmilitant, divided into small bands of four or five that look an olderleader, with those units grouped together to make a squad, squadsinto sections, and so on. Currently, there are five “generals”who form a council under the highest leader, known simply as The Den.

Herd: Horses and Deer*and rabbits

Herd families are adying breed. With the growing sprawl of urbanization encroaching onthe wilderness, wide open spaces are harder and harder to come by.Intimately tied to the land's own magic, fecundity is becomingincreasingly reduced as space is becoming a premium. In today'smodern world, horse families are less and less nomadic, buying up anyland they can and forming homesteads. They live in the most perfectdisguises: as horse farmers and cattle ranchers. Few nomadic bandsremain, serving as caravan guards and escorts in those remote placeswhere civilization refuses to take. Deer families, if they stillexist, are never seen outside of their native forests.

*While not properlyherd, rabbits crop up in those same odd families in the North andWest.

Misc.

Shapeshifter magicreflects the land it comes from. While some elements of form areinheritable, local elements influence the form a child's magic willtake. Nica, for example, is hawk like her father, but being born onAmerican soil, her soul took the form of a Red-Shouldered Hawk whenit reached for a specific shape, while his was something reflectinghis native European land. So, depending on a myriad of conditions, intheory, ANY naturalized animal could potentially show up in ashapeshifter's soul, provided it resonated with the basic type (bird,serpent, feline, canid, herd). Add to it the mingling of fey-typelines into “pure” shifter lines, and the magic becomes even lesspredictable.

#storyteller saturday #mirror-of-too-many-books #asked and answered

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peppermintfeminist · 6 years

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85 questions tag game

Tagged by @the-lincyclopedia! Hi friend! Sending a hug your way!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Alcoholic? White wine. Non-alcoholic? Herbal tea.

2. Phone call: My parents, who are pretty much the only people I call on the phone.

3. Text message: “Happy almost Pesach!!” to a friend back home.

4. Song you listened to: Tighten Up, by the Black Keys.

5. Time you cried: a few weeks ago, I think? Mostly from general stress/exhaustion. I need a good cry every now and then.

— Have you ever...

6. Dated someone twice: Nope.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope.

8. Been cheated on: Nope.

9. Lost someone special: Yes, in several different senses.

10. Been depressed: No, I don’t think so.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No, and I hope I never will.

— Fave colours

12. Turquoise

13. Berry

14. Burnt orange

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Yes, many, including someone who is now one of the most important people in my life.

16. Fallen out of love: No because I haven’t been in love in the first place.

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes, in a good way!

19. Met someone who changed you: Many people.

20. Found out who your friends are: I think this is a constant process for me, but there hasn’t been any particular ~drama~ in the past year, luckily. Most I’ve just reconfirmed that my closest friends are wonderful and really important to me.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Alas, no.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: I’ve met almost all of them at least once, and the vast majority are people I knew in real life first.

23. Do you have any pets: I have several beloved stuffed animals and an aloe vera plant. Somebody I would like a dog or maybe a cat.

24. Do you want to change your name: I think about it sometimes, but I’m pretty attached to this one. I might end up using other names or versions of my name in different professional contexts, though.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went out for drinks with some old friends at midnight, and I celebrated with my family during the day.

26. What time did you wake up today: 8:20 am.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping, for once!

28. What is something you can’t wait for: Living with friends and HAVING MY OWN KITCHEN. There are actually a lot of things in the next year or two that I’m awaiting with breathless anticipation--the near future looks very bright right now.

29. This question is mysteriously missing, so I will pose a question to the universe/the people I’m going to tag: Any fun or unusual hobbies or skills?

30. What are you listening to right now: Closer to Fine, by the Indigo Girls

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes, several Toms have been important in my life.

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: Hot weather.

33. Most visited website: I check my email compulsively.

34. Hair colour: I think it’s brown with golden undertones, some people insist it’s blond, we will never know the truth

35. Long or short hair: short!

36. Do you have a crush on someone: No, and I haven’t had a serious/long-lasting crush in several years, which kind of makes me sad. I would like to fall in love with someone soon.

37. What do you like about yourself: Quite a few things, actually. I’m in a good place re: self esteem these days. One thing I’ve been proud of recently is my courage.

38. Want any piercings: No more than the ones I already have.

39. Blood type: Be positive

40. Nicknames: I don’t share my real name or any variations of it on Tumblr, but I do have nicknames. They exist, I promise. Well, one does. I could use some more.

41. Relationship status: Somewhat unhappily single.

42. Sign: I don’t identify with my horoscope sign at all, but I’m an INFJ.

43. Pronouns: good question

44. Fave tv show: In general? The West Wing. Right now? Black Sails, One Day at a Time, or Brooklyn 99.

45. Tattoos: Maybe someday, but probably not. But I love other people’s! Tattooing is such a fascinating art form.

46. Fave city: San Francisco.

47: Ever had surgery: Very minor surgeries in the past, but I have a slightly bigger one coming up, so please send good vibes!

48. Piercings: Rather mundane ones in my ears.

49. Sport: Baseball, to watch. I don’t really play sports. When I want to move my body, I like to hike, bike, walk, and do Pilates.

50. Vacation: After I get home from where I am right now, I’m hoping my next small vacation will be a trip to the beach with family and my next large vacation will be a cross-country road trip with friends. But those are both pretty far in the future and have not yet been planned.

— More general

52. Eating: Roasted vegetables, pasta of all varieties, olive oil, salmon, crepes, good cheese and bread, pad see ew, banh mi, my mom’s homemade granola and homemade yogurt and fresh fruit, matzah ball soup

53. Drinking: excessive quantities of herbal tea, sesame bubble tea, mojitos, non-alcoholic ginger beer, decaf peppermint mochas

54. I’m about to watch: Black Sails, season 3 episode 8.

55. Waiting for: Many good things. See 28.

56. Want: A healthy and loving romantic relationship; peanut butter (long story); time and energy to work on my novel.

57. Get married: Yes PLEASE. If you think I don’t already have a secret wedding dress Pinterest, you are wrong.

58. Career: Rabbi and author.

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: I’m afraid I don’t have any data in the kissing category, but I love hugs. I’ve been told by numerous people that I’m a very good hugger.

60. Lips or eyes: See 59, but eyes are very nice.

61. Shorter or taller: For a romantic partner? Taller.

62. Older or younger: If we’re still talking about romantic partners, I don’t want there to be much of an age gap at all.

63. Nice arms or stomach: Arms, I guess? I feel like I generally don’t have strong opinions on people’s arms or stomachs. Though I guess if someone has especially nice arms or a very lovely stomach, I do notice.

64. Hookup or relationships: Relationships. I really can’t imagine circumstances in which I would decide to hook up with someone, but, well, never say never.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Neither? I try to be courageous, but like, courageous in healthy and socially acceptable ways.

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Lol, see 59.

67. Drank hard liquor: In mixed drinks, yes. On its own, ew no.

68. Turned someone down: Yes, actually.

69. Sex on first date: Pssssh no.

70: Broken someone’s heart: Not as far as I know.

71. Had your heart broken: Romantically, no. Friendship-wise, yeah.

72. Been arrested: No.

73. Cried when someone died: Yes, a lot.

74. Fallen for a friend: Hoo boy have I EVER.

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: Yes.

76. Miracles: Yes.

77. Love at first sight: Sort of, though I think the kind of love that happens at first sight is rarely the kind of love you end up settling into after a few more sights, because I believe you have to know a person at least a little to really love them, and I believe you have to share some time with a person to know them.

78. Santa Claus: I actually did when I was little, but I was disillusioned pretty early on.

79. Angels: Of the human variety.

— Misc

80. Eye colour: Unclear. Blueish.

81. Best friend’s name: I have at least four best friends right now, and I won’t share their names, but they start with B, K, A, and I.

82. Favourite movie: The Prince of Egypt (WOOT WOOT TIS THE SEASON)

83. Favourite actor: Julie Andrews.

84. Favourite cartoon: I never really watched cartoons as a kid, but my favorite animated show is Yuri on Ice.

85. Religion: lol see 58

Tagging @livesinruins, @hummingwyrd, @emotions-of-many-teaspoons, @midshipmank, and @miraniel!

#about me #ask games #personal

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brasscheese70 · 4 years

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Exactly How Healthy Protein Trembles Assist You Reduce Weight And Belly Fat.

Just How To Lift Weights, Whatever Your Goals Are.

Content

Team Exercise.

Essential Educating Variables.

Pilates Vs Yoga Exercise: The Distinctions And What'S Right For You.

Just How Do I Develop My Own Workout Strategy?

Incline Walking Vs Running.

History Of Life Mentoring

You can additionally get this classification merely by attending our 3.5 day in-person seminar. This alternative includes our range finding out program, to make sure that you can start promptly on signing up, and you likewise obtain continuous gain access to and support.

Team Workout.

You can conserve recipes, posts and the like to refer back to later on. You'll track breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks on a daily basis, with weeks tracked Monday via Sunday. You also obtain additional regular indicate use, which offers you some shake room to look at your day-to-day amount. You can likewise log exercise and activity as well as weight changes, try out WW recipes and search for WW-friendly restaurants. There is an additional train accreditation for those with a Masters Level or higher that does not call for every one of the hoops that the ICF makes you leap through.

Crucial Educating Variables.

Likewise to in WW, you track your day's food in terms of breakfast, an early morning treat, lunch, an afternoon snack, dinner and an evening snack. You can establish the time when you generally consume breakfast, as well as Noom will certainly determine the best times for you to consume your other dishes based upon how to make the most of volume as well as boost your metabolic rate. You're provided a daily list with certain posts to check out and quizzes about health, food, health and fitness and also nutrition.

If you attend our seminar, we will certainly be able to observe your mentoring enhance, as well as you do not need to send the 6 recordings. The seminar costs $2,500 greater than the distance discovering program. You can start with the range finding out program, and also pay the $2,500 later, or you can leap right in and also pay 10 monthly installations of $750 or $7,350 in advance. People are realizing exactly how easy it can be to accomplish something that several years ago might have felt out of reach or like a pipedream.

However cardio does refrain from doing a great work of burning calories while at rest. HIIT & weight training help you burn much more calories while at rest as well as while you're asleep. By doing all 3 of the above you can anticipate to lose 1-2 pounds of fat each week. By following this protocol you'll be particular that the weight you're shedding is fat, not water.

And if you choose to include some exercise, you'll be able to include back in some calories so you're not as hungry throughout the day. And your brain consumes about 20% of your daily calories ... so sugar is a very vital resource for your brain function.

You'll additionally be positive that this "weight" will certainly stay off. When lots of people discuss dropping weight they're really talking about shedding body fat. Shedding body fat is rather simple and also easy, but it absolutely is challenging.

Keto fans will certainly state that your body adapts over the course of a month or so to deliver a glucose replacement to assist your brain. It seems that this only happens for a little portion of individuals that have a hereditary adjustment to high-fat diet plans. A 2nd circumstance if your body fat % is on the luxury for sports is that you might be doing excessive cardio as well as not nearly enough resistance training. If your "workout" session includes tough breathing AFTER THAT you play basketball, this is most likely the instance. We see this in a great deal of triathletes & endurance joggers.

Pilates Vs Yoga Exercise: The Distinctions And Also What'S Right For You.

Adding articles to regional magazines or physical fitness internet sites can position you as a true fitness authority.

Getting along, enthusiastic and also enthusiastic will go a long means in amassing you satisfied and faithful customers.

Later, ask the health and wellness professional to assist you create an exercise program for them.

If you stay in a town, your regional newspaper might even want allowing you to compose an "Ask the Physical fitness Specialist" column, where you address concerns from visitors.

As a professional on physical fitness, you have a wealth of details that customers would certainly discover intriguing.

This functioning relationship gives you reliability while assisting to safeguard the health and wellness of your clients.

Word of mouth is effective advertising, so be devoted to your clients and also give them your finest.

Exactly How Do I Develop My Very Own Workout Strategy?

Lots of cardio gets your body made use of to shedding glycogen stores during training sessions yet then your metabolism would reduce METHOD down in your non-training times. Doing equivalent resistance training to cardio + ample healthy protein consumption will improve your resting metabolic rate. We see this in a lot of older endurance athletes-- they run & bike like crazy yet maintain adding on weight. This is because the caloric requirements of cardio are really high, so endurance professional athletes often tend to have a big hunger.

youtube

These concerns will certainly advise customers of the action steps they have actually suggested and also how much info they have actually gathered. Arranging the next session right now additionally is practical to make sure there's a follow-up visit. The main objective is to offer this details and make certain the customer recognizes what's called for. The trainer asks flexible concerns regarding eating habits as well as actions, and enables clients to direct the conversation.

However, you may wonder whether Noom is just another crash diet based on pseudoscience with pledges of impractical outcomes, or whether it's an efficient program for healthy and balanced, lasting weight loss. As the client, it is your responsibility to discover a train that is suitable for you and your individual goals. When it pertains to weight reduction coaching specifically, there are a couple of things to keep an eye out for when searching for a fat burning coach. At the close of each conference, ask clients what they've found out, what they have actually understood, and also what they intend to change or work on over the next week or more.

Slope Walking Vs Running.

You require simply 60 hours of training, and it does not need to be online. Every one of our programs give you the training you need for the BCC. There is no extra expense for this training and we are happy to endorse you on the BCC application. It takes 3-5 months for most of our members to finish the BCC requirements. Normally we ask that you initially finish our Certified Exec Train accreditation, yet that is not needed.

The objective is to listen to clients, prepare them for modification, and after that help them by generating a customized strategy that will certainly help them. When customers make their own strategies with their very own routines in mind, they're most likely to follow up. The RD as a train exists to guide customers and make certain their plan is reasonable and nutritionally noise. Nonetheless, when RDs relinquish their role as counselors as well as become instructors rather, clients typically become active individuals in their weight-loss program. They end up being bought creating their very own goals and also activity plans and also are more likely to follow through as well as attain the results they want.

Background Of Life Coaching

A life train is a kind of wellness professional that aids people make progression in their lives in order to achieve higher satisfaction. Life trains help their customers in enhancing their partnerships, professions, and also everyday lives. This meal strategy would certainly not relate to every person given that calorie recommendations are embellished, but it provides a basic review of the foods included from the green, yellow, as well as red categories. As a matter of fact, two studies in individuals with prediabetes showed that greater engagement with trainers and instructional articles in the Noom app was significantly related to weight-loss. Study has shown that receiving routine wellness coaching-- whether essentially or face to face-- works for weight-loss and other health-related objectives like stress administration.

youtube

Whether your objective is to look much better, really feel much better, have a much better body immune system, or have more power-- shedding fat, NOT weight-- is things that will get you there. Individuals on the program shed 1-- 2 pounds (0.45-- 0.9 kg) each week and long-lasting participants often tend to keep the weight off for many years. This specialist supplies you with a diet plan as well as exercise prepare for fat burning, determines your strengths and helps you in conquering challenges in the process. Life mentoring formally emerged during the 1980s as well as grew in popularity throughout the 1990s as well as 2000s. Some of the earliest life instructors focused on life preparation, however the field eventually expanded to include various other life areas consisting of connections, funds, jobs, health and wellness, and also general wellness.

Unlike WW, with its factors system, Noom counts calories. I felt a little mindful when the app assigned me 1,200 calories for a day, as I'm 5-foot-9. When I utilized the built-in health and fitness app on my old Samsung phone, I was provided 1,600 calories each day.

A life trainer is not a wonder employee yet a life trainer does have a large tool package to help the Large Concept become a Reality. Fortunately, people now have time as well as sources to buy themselves in this type of personal development. If you really feel bad after a training phone call, for any type of reason, let your life train understand about it. It is probably a miscommunication or maybe that this coach's design is not working for you. If this happens regularly, attempt a different recognized life train!

Noom.

While Noom's weight management application has some great elements to their program, all the issues with invoicing are really concerning to me. Fitness Training UK that the pattern of complaints is STILL up with the BBB after almost a year and that Noom hasn't changed their company methods to settle it is not a great sign. Looking into http://brasscancer35.nation2.com/9-ways-to-accelerate-your-weight-loss-and-melt-even-more-fat before you begin is necessary. In addition, it's important to take stock of yourself, considering why you wish to reduce weight. One of the things I suched as about Noom is that it asked me why I was making use of the application.

My concern before was that I couldn't obtain any kind of bigger, yet throughout quarantine I was consuming everything in sight as well as not training in any way so I place on 20 pounds. I never really cared about shedding fat or cardio since I was always normally slim. I still have skinny wrists and ankle joints, today I'm lugging a lot more fat than I'm utilized to. I really did not understand exactly how negative it was due to the fact that I still look fit for the most part as well as my stamina in the health club has really raised because March however that may simply be due to the extra weight I'm bring currently. If you opt to eat sensible portions of veggies, meat, and marginal starch/fruit you can do an extra aggressive calorie cut given that you'll have a broader variety of nutrients to fuel your body.

Keep in mind that tracking your food as well as calorie intake, whether with Noom or one more program, may advertise disordered consuming patterns. These may include food stress and anxiety as well as too much calorie constraint. Numerous prominent diets can be restricting by limiting particular foods or whole food teams. This can advertise disordered consuming or obsessive actions surrounding healthy or "clean" eating. Relying on your goal weight and also duration, Noom makes use of a formula to estimate the number of calories you require to consume each day.

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madegeeky · 4 years

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Giftening 2020: Obligatory Vote for These Post (spoiler version)

Want the non-spoilery version? Seriously, though, super spoilery for main plot points for a lot of these. Skip the ones you don’t want to know about.

Ones with * are my nominations, so you know where my biases lie. :P Ones in bold are my top pick for the categories. I did not include things that don’t need the boost (like Utena).

ANIME

Aggretsuko - A tv show about an unassuming shy red panda woman who works in an office building and deals with the stress of it by going to karaoke and screaming out death metal. The show largely deals with her making friends with two women who she admires and a dude who likes her. The dude who likes her is actually a geniunely interesting storyline because at the end of the first season (which I’ve not seen beyond), he basically admits that he’s built this image of her in his head that isn’t real and he wants to know the real her. (Which, fuck yeah.)

Fushigi Yuugi* - This is a story about two teens who used to be friends fighting over a man which is literally the antithesis of everything Jet is. And yet, Jet watched the whole damn thing. Watch her squirm as she has to deal with that in a liveblog format. You can get a preview of some of that in Doc’s liveblog of it that she did for Jet.

NON-ANIME ANIMATED

Archer* - This is an animated parody of James Bond made for adults. It's offensive as fuck because Archer, the titular character, is a James Bond stand-in and that character can also be offensive as fuck. In fact, one thing to appreciate about this show is that all the characters are shitty, awful people and the show never attempts to excuse their shitty, awful behavior. Plus, it's one of the few shows where half the main characters are women. I am a tiny bit hesitant to rec this for a liveblog due to the offensivness however, as far as I can tell it's not popular on tumblr, and those are generally the ones that cause the most trouble so...

Daria - The story of a misanthropic teenager, her family, and her best friend. The characters are specifically meant to appear to be tropes before slowly being unveiled as three dimensional people. It's got a dry sense of humor that I think Jet will enjoy. I actually didn't know until years after I watched this that it was a spin-off of Beavis and Butthead (which I hated) so don't let that dissuade you.

LIVE ACTION

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I haven't seen past a certain point because it starts going super deep into exploring depression and that is one of my main triggers for a depressive episode, so I cannot speak of later eps. However, this show starts out funny and silly and evolves into a show exploring how toxic the main character actually is and how unhealthy her coping mechanisms are. It's amazing to see a character type whose actions are usually excused or written off as funny instead be specifically called out as being awful and toxic. (It was a Shit Show is still one of the best songs I've ever heard and Mr. Geeky and I sing it to each other whenever shit hits the fan.)

Hannibal* - If you know of Hannibal, you know the basics premise is that of a man who eats people and is chased by the FBI. The writing in this is some of the best writing I've ever had the pleasure of seeing in a piece of media: it's subtle, smart, and trust its audience to follow along without having their hand held. However, what's really great about the TV show is that it's not afraid to do its own thing. It constantly fucks with your expectations and deconstructs and explores tropes in ways I've never seen before. I haven't seen the ending yet but I highly doubt it's going to end in a place where Silence of the Lambs will happen. The acting is fucking great and even though Anthony Hopkins gives an amazing performance as Hannibal Lector, after seeing Mads Mikkelsen play him there's no going back to Hopkins. In general, if you're looking for something original (which is ironic considering it's based on a book and there are several movies) and smart, I cannot recommend this enough.

Russian Doll* - (Doc, please skip this one, as in 5 years when you're done with Two Storms, this is one of the things I'm considering nominating should I ever win a liveblog again.) I don't really know how to explain this show because it's so fucking weird and is so focused on character and ideas that the plot is both super simple and extremely complicated. It's a story about a woman who starts to relive the same day over and over again except, instead of the typical thing where it starts over when she falls asleep, it's only until she dies (so sometimes she lasts for hours, other times for a couple days). However, almost immediately there are signs that something else is going on, that something outside of the main character's repeating day, something has gone horribly wrong. (Count the fish.) It's a very thoughtful, character-driven show, more about exploring ideas than plot which I, personally, didn't mind at all. Another one I highly recommend overall with much less blood and gore than Hannibal.

Xena - IT'S FUCKING XENA PEOPLE! Okay, but just in case you don't know what the show is about is through cultural osmosis, Xena is a show about a woman who used to be a truly horrible murderous bitch and her continual attempts to make up for the wrongs she has done. The main relationship in the show is between Xena and her (girl)friend, Gabriel, and although the show can be ridiculously silly (time is made up and history doesn’t matter!), it also explores deep, dark issues. One of the best things this show explores is the idea of redemption and forgiveness and that perhaps nothing Xena does will ever get her those things.

LIVESTREAM

Crank* - Jason Statham plays a man who has been given a poison that slowly cuts off his adrenaline, meaning that eventually he'll die. He has to do increasingly ludicrous things to get his adrenaline pumping overtime to make up for it slowly being cut off. It's one of the most fucking bananas thing you'll ever watch but is just a bunch of fucking fun. (CW: Public sexual assault. I only mentioned because it’s a scene that last for a bit. It's a complicated scene so I won't get into it here but send an ask if you want more details.)

Dale and Tucker vs Evil* - Dale and Tucker, two hillbilly best friends, are going into the woods to fix up their vacation home when they stumble across some college kids. Random circumstances make the college kids think D&T have kidnapped their friend and so they decide they need to attack D&T to get her back. Hijinx ensue. I don't want to say much more because there's a moment that is, to this day, still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen, largely because I did not see it coming.

GAMES

Doki Doki Lit Club - This is a game about games. You play a guy in a dating sim. Your first playthrough everything seems normal enough. You join the literature club, meet and talk to girls, and then one of the girls commits suicide. And then game restarts and the girl who committed suicide just... doesn't exist anymore. Your replay the exact same days but it's as though she never existed. Things only get weirder from there. This game does a great job of turning dating sim tropes on their head, as well as exploring games in general. (Content warning for a lot of things. Let me know if you want more details.)

Slime Rancher (stream) - There's really not much to spoil here. You play a woman who is in charge of a ranch full of slimes. There's some messages you'll find, left by the old owner, telling story about their romance. There also some messages between you character and a deliberately gender-ambiguous significant other. And that's about the closest to story you get. Otherwise it's just catching and ranching slimes.

Subnautica* - Fucking fuck I love this game. When this game first starts it appears to be your typical survival game with no real direction other than what you want to explore. But then you find an alien structure. And you realize that your spaceship didn't randomly crash. And you find out that there's no way get off this planet except to explore deeper and deeper and find out what the aliens were doing on this planet. A genuinely beautiful story, told mostly through entries in data pads and voice messages left behind, this ending is one of the most moving ends I've ever experienced and I never ever would have expected to be able to say that about a survival game.

We Happy Few* - In this alternate universe, the Germans invaded Britain during WW2 (although, through exploring the world, you learn that the differences started well before that). When the story starts up, the Germans have left Britain behind and Britain, for unknown reasons, appears to be cut off and/or abandoned by the rest of the world. The majority of the country is constantly hopped up on a drug called Joy, which is specifically used to help them forget something horrible that happened in the past. (I have theories.) The story starts when your character goes off his Joy and gets kicked out of society. There's a general sense of unease about everything and the more you learn the more that unease grows. The art style is great and the world building fascinating.

MISC (there’s nothing spoilery here but it feels weird to not have it)

Interactive Horror Story Livestream - Doc has talked a bit about this in at least one of her Xmas streams and it sounds amazing. Not only is Jet hilarious with horror stuff but knowing Doc��s writing skill, it will be something that we’d never want to miss.

Bean Boozle When Failing a Hard Game* - I am a sadistic bitch, I admit to this, and I love watching people eat Bean Boozle, the jelly bean of horrible flavors. One of my favorite videos content creators has done is playing an incredibly difficult game and then being forced to eat a random one every time they fail.

#giftening 2020 #giftening recs #spoilers for jetwolf

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