#minute differences in their experiences and ways they're treated from that point forward

[lovelystarlings]

Chapter Two - Hermione Granger

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When Camille was a little girl, her mother and father used to tell her the tale of Lily Potter; the woman who saved her son with love, the same son who defeated the Dark Lord and survived the killing curse. Camille never realised that Harry Potter was the same age as her, nor did she realise how young he was when he defeated the Dark Lord. So as she sat opposite him, she gained an insane amount of respect for him.

"I thought Fred and George were just joking around but, god you're him?" Ron spoke, his eyes wide in anticipation as he leant forward at the same time as Camille slammed her book shut and got up, squashing next to the two boys; much to the embarrassment of Ron who was heavily blushing once again.

"Have you got the, um, you know?" He pointed to Harry's forehead.

Harry nodded and pulled his bangs back to show the lightning scar that sat right in the middle of his forehead.

"Is that where the Dark Lord, you know?" Camile uttered out quietly, not wanting to offend the boy in anyway but curious, as any person would be, as to how he survived the ultimate curse.

"Yes," Harry replied, "But I don't remember it very much. Some green light but nothing else."

"Wow," said Ron. He sat and stared at harry for a few minutes than snapped his head back to the window, realising what he was doing.

"So you two must know loads about magic already." Harry spoke, looking at Camille, who hadn't really spoken to much.

"Oh yes," Camille spoke, her hands falling into her lap to fiddle with her cardigan ends, she hated small talk. "In France I was lucky to be tutored by the headmistress of my older sister's school, Beauxbaton's. My mother insisted I wasn't behind with my education, so she had me start reading and learning a year early." She explained, both boys leaning forward, her French accent making it impossible not to listen.

"Though I heard you had to live with muggles, how was it?" She spoke, instantly regretting her question when a look of despair flashed across the boy's face before he covered it with a mask of tranquillity. "Yeah that must have been terrible. My mums got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him." Ron began, Camille suspected that the Weasley's were one of the Sacred Twenty Eight, the twenty eight pure-blooded wizarding families, unfortunately the Delacour's were not a part of that twenty eight due to her grandmother being veela and her grandfather being a pureblood therefore leading to her mother being a half blood, breaking the Sacred Twenty Eight rules.

"Muggles are horrible -well, not all of them. My aunt and uncle and cousin are, though. Wish I'd had three wizard brothers or a wizard sister."

"Witch sister actually Harry, if you're gonna be a wizard you have to get the pronouns right."

"Five, actually" said Ron. For some reason, he was looking gloomy, but Camille supposed so would she if she had five versions of Fleur, one was quite enough. "I'm the sixth in our family to go to Hogwarts. You could say I've got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left -- Bill was head boy and Charlie was captain of Quidditch. Now Percy's a prefect. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they still get really good mark's and everyone thinks they're really funny. Everyone expects me to do as well as the others, but if I do, it's no big deal, because they did it first. You never get anything new, either, with five brothers. I've got Bill's old robes, Charlie's old wand, and Percy's old rat."

He gently took the rat that had previously been asleep off of his lap to display to the group. "His name's Scabbers and he's useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got an owl from my dad for being made a prefect, but they couldn't aff - I mean, I got stupid old Scabbers instead." Ron's ears went pink. He seemed to think he'd said too much, because he went back to staring out of the window.

Harry began to speak about his experience with muggles, how he had hand me down everything, and how he lived in a cupboard under the stairs, and how his aunt and uncle practically treated him like slave, or rather a house elf, Camille thought. Ron seemed to cheer up at the news that he wasn't the only unfortunate one in the carriage, and when both boys looked at Camille, as it were her turn to share the pity party, she froze. Despite having the perfect life to others, she had suffered from anxiety since she was a child due to an event that she wasn't quite ready to share just yet.

"My parents have always favoured my older sister over me, and it hurts you know. It's always about her, and her feelings, and how she succeeds, and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be here you know? Like if my parents don't truly love me than who will. I mean they do all these things for me so they look good and fair enough but sometimes I wish they treated me like Fleur, and not some random that lives with them. Even when Fleur's boyfriend rap-" She cut herself off, her eyes beginning to water as she remembered how her parents had treated her after that. Her sister was just a loving as always, but naïve to the hardships that some faced, as she had never faced them herself.

Looking up at the two she felt a hand on her knee, Harry's hand to be specific.

"You don't have to carry on, it's okay." He spoke, Ron nodding in agreement, trying to find something to distract the poor girl.

"Hey look! We're out of London!" The redheaded boy pointed out the window as the trio smiled at the endless evergreen that surrounded them. They were finally on their way to Hogwarts.

Timed past quickly, and at half past twelve a faint knock was heard on the door of the compartment, waking Camille suddenly from her sleep, the book that had been rested on her face banging loudly as it fell to the floor, Camille bending down to pick it up awkwardly.

A smiling elderly woman poked her head around the sliding door gently, Harry and Ron already starting to thorough through their pockets for change. Camille assumed this was the trolley lady. 

"Anything off the trolley, dears?"

Ron made the decision to stay sat down and pulled out a bag of sandwiches that Mrs Weasley had obviously made, the French girl melting inside at the sweetness of his mother. He stared at the girl strangely, as if he expected her to get up like Harry.

"I left my money in the trunk," she shrugged, before going back to her book. She didn't need to eat anyway, as her mother had told her countless times.

Hearing a gasp from Ron, she lifted her head to see Harry return, arms filled with everything you could think off; chocolate frogs, every flavoured beans, blowing gum, pumpkin pasties (Camille's personal favourite) and cauldron cakes. He had basically bought out the whole trolley, making Ron's sandwiches look inferior compared to his full course meal or rather dessert.

"Bloody hell Harry. Hungry, are you?" Camille spoke, but was silent soon after as her stomach chose the wrong to rumble loudly, most likely the result of skipping breakfast and lunch.

"Bloody hell Camille. Hungry, are you?" Harry spoke mockingly, after taking a huge bite of his pasty and causing crumbs to spray everywhere.

"Harry!" Camille scolded, whipping her napkin out of her pocket to wipe off the crumps that had landed in her lap. "You never talk with your mouthful, it's vulgar!" She muttered to herself, Harry and Ron began to laugh at her antics as she furiously wiped her dress down, and threw the napkin onto the seat beside her, stomach rumbling once again.

"Camille?"

"Yes." The girl said frustratingly, blowing a stray hair that had fallen on to her forehead away, looking at the boy who lived in annoyance. She despised bad etiquette. "Would you like a pastry, in return for forgiveness for my devastatingly terrible manners in front of a lovely lady like you?" An annoying tone of confidence dripped from his words as Harry held out his hand, in it a pumpkin pastry.

"Well," Camille spoke slowly, hand reaching over to Harry's, "They are my favourite."

"You too, Ron. I'm not just gonna leave you with a beef sandwich." The boy who lived spoke, pushing a pasty over to the ginger boy. It was nice feeling, Camille thought as the three sat there munching their way through the endless pile of sweets, Mrs Weasley's homemade sandwiches far forgotten.

The countryside now flying past the window was becoming wilder. The neat fields had gone. Now there were woods, twisting rivers, and dark green hills. Excitement built in Camille, making her rather giddy as she thought of their arrival at Hogwarts.

There was a knock on the door of their compartment and a round-faced boy with shaking hand entered. He looked tearful, and Camille felt the need to give him a hug.

"Sorry," he said, "but have you seen a toad at all?"

When they shook their heads, he wailed, surprisingly loud considering they were on a train full of people, "I've lost him! He keeps getting away from me!"

"Well I'm sure he'll come back soon," spoke Camille in a matter of fact way, "We're on a train it's not like he can get far!"

"Yes, I suppose he will." The boy spoke miserably, before leaving their cabin in a hushed manner, heading straight to the opposite compartment, asking them the exact same question he had asked them.

"Don't know why he's so bothered," said Ron, patting the rat on his lap aggressively. "If I'd brought a toad, I'd lose it as quick as I could. Mind you, I brought useless old Scabbers, so I can't really talk."

"He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference," said Ron in disgust. "I tried to turn him yellow yesterday to make him more interesting, but the spell didn't work. I'll show you, look..." He rummaged around in his trunk and pulled out a very battered-looking wand. It was chipped in places and something white was glinting at the end.

"Unicorn hair's nearly poking out. Anyway."

He had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again. The toad less boy had returned, but this time he had a girl with him. She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes, her puffy brown hair and front crooked teeth noticeable. But Camille thought that she was quite pretty.

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. Ah, thought Camille, so Neville's his name.

"We already told him we haven't seen it but we'll let him know if we do." Camille spoke softly, pitying the poor boy, Neville, she corrected herself, who still had tears pouring down his cheeks.

The girl however seemed distracted at the sight of a wand, a smile appearing on her face as she began to step further into the compartment, sitting herself down next to Camille. "Are you doing magic? Show us then." Ron seemed taken aback at forwardness of the brunette girl, who had made herself comfortable nest to Camille, even going as far to rest gently on her shoulder; Camille had found her new best friend.

"Uh-ok?" He cleared his throat. "Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

Nothing happened, and Camille just had to let out a tiny giggle, not noticing the looks she gained from Harry and the girl beside her.

"Are you sure that's a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard - I've learned all our course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough - I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you." She spoke extremely fast, Camille having issues simply catching her name.

Hermione. Camille thought. That's pretty.

"Oh, w-well thank you I guess." Camille was just about as red as Ron's hair. She hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Um you're welcome. I'm Camille." She locked eyes with the bushy haired girl, immediately looking away when she saw Hermione was as red as she was.

"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered, his mouth once again stuffed with food.

"Harry Potter," said Harry.

"Are you really?" said Hermione. "I know all about you, of course - I got a few extra books. for background reading, and you're in Modern Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."

"Am I?" said Harry, feeling dazed.

"Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have found out everything I could if it was me," said Hermione. "Do either of you know what house you'll be in? I've been asking around, and I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad. Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad. You three had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon."

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #hermione granger #hermione granger x reader #hogwarts #hermione #harry #veela #fleur delacour #fluff

[thebittyrecoveryjournals]

I have a few bitties in my home and they're my family, but I recently took in a new one (a Sansy) after a lady at the local post office decided she no longer wanted him. Even though I always make sure he knows he's loved like the others, he has serious separation anxiety and I can barely have a bath without him having a panic attack if I take too long. I love the little guy, and my other three try their best to keep him calm, but it hurts me to see him like this. What can I do to help him?

Hm, he’s a Sansy? A lot of anxiety of any kind is unusual for that type; they’re usually very chill and unbothered.

So, you said this is pretty recent, right? A few weeks, a couple months? It’s possible this is a temporary thing, but separation anxiety in adults can point to an anxiety disorder.

If this goes on for more than six months, I’d suggest making an appointment with a psychologist to see if that might be a possibility. Anxiety disorders going untreated will only result in more and more anxiety, so, if he doesn’t seem to be doing better after the six-month mark, it might be something deeper.

(Obviously I’m always here to make appointments with, but I know there are other psychologists in the area who aren’t Bitty-specific! So if you do need to make an appointment, you can schedule one with me or I can give you a reference to someone else.)

However, separation anxiety in adopted Bitties specifically might be a temporary issue because of new surroundings. Who knows how long his old owner had him? He’s probably used to his old home and is clinging to you because his surroundings now are unfamiliar.

So, for temporary things to try until he feels more comfortable in his new home, I do have a few suggestions!

Sit him down and gently talk to him about the anxiety. Don’t push, but ask if there’s anything in particular that he’s anxious about. (Common scenarios that people with separation anxiety think of include being afraid that he might get hurt, that you might get hurt, etc. anytime you’re away from each other.) Identifying those things might help him understand why he’s getting anxious, and if he understands why, sometimes it’s easier to talk him down by reminders that it’s anxiety, those things aren’t likely to happen.

Relaxation techniques especially if the anxiety involves physical feelings like heart beating faster, erratic breathing, shaking, etc. Some techniques I think might help him are breathing exercises, counting, and interrupting the anxious thoughts. When either of you notice him starting to become anxious, get him to a quiet room to help him practice these things. Breathing exercises are particularly effective when one places a hand on the chest and one on the stomach, takes a slow, regular breath, and watches the way their hands move on their chest and stomach as they breathe. Often focusing on breathing like this can help lessen the physical feelings of anxiety, which can be a huge help. Counting is pretty much what it sounds like ― when the anxiety spikes, have him count out loud to 10. If the anxiety is still there, try another set and have him count to 20. Counting is good because it’ll give him something to focus on other than the anxiety, and it’s a great technique when you’re out and about since it’s easier to do than some of the others. Interrupting the anxious thoughts works in a similar way, to break the train of thought the anxiety is riding on. There are a lot of different ways to do this; breaking out into a silly song or telling jokes, focusing on a better thought (like something he’s looking forward to later or a nice memory), or reading a book.

Keep a routine if you’re able to, or as much of one as you can. Waking up, having meals, and doing outings at the same time every day is one of the best ways to help him feel secure. Once he settles into a routine, it becomes familiar, and he’ll start to relax and feel more comfortable. It also helps to show him that you might leave at a certain time, but you also come back at a certain time. That can be a comforting reminder that might help lessen his anxiety.

Guided exposure and facing the fear. Whatever he tells you he’s afraid will happen is probably not going to happen, but anxiety isn’t logical. So it usually helps quite a bit to actually ‘prove’ that what he fears isn’t going to happen. Now, you definitely don’t want to do this without warning, but after talking to him and reassuring him that you won’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, exposure is an incredibly effective way to help gradually lessen the anxiety. Start with little steps, like walking away to the other side of the room and staying there for a few minutes. He’s almost certainly going to experience anxiety, and the idea is for him to ‘sit with’ those distressing feelings and ride them out. Once the anxiety starts to lessen and he feels almost ‘bored’ by it, he can start to understand that his fear isn’t going to come true, because it didn’t happen during the exposure. You can slowly escalate the steps, like going into a different room for a few minutes, leaving the house for a few minutes, etc. etc., until he gets to the point that he can successfully manage his anxiety whenever you’re out of sight.

Imagining exercises, if he’s not quite ready for the exposure. This is similar to the exposure, but instead of actually exposing him to your leaving, you’ll help him through imagining it. As if he’s watching a movie that involves whatever makes him anxious, visualizing it in his mind is sometimes the first step before actual exposure. It’s not a real situation, but it still allows him to experience the anxiety and stay with it until it starts to come down.

Teach your other Bitties some of these techniques, for sure, if they’re willing to learn! Having someone else around who can help, whenever you’re not there, is often a big comfort. He might think you’re the only one who can help him because the separation anxiety is centered around the two of you, but if one of the other Bitties can utilize the techniques you’re using with him, he might feel better about you not being there, because he’s still with someone ‘safe’.

Make use of praise when he successfully gets through an anxious situation! You can praise him, or he can actually give himself some praise. Things along the lines of “I’m proud of you for getting through that” from you or telling himself “I was brave for doing that and I should be proud of myself” or getting a special treat after doing something that made him anxious are powerful tools. Praise often makes people happy and reinforces that whatever they did was positive, motivating them to do it more. Lots of cuddles after a stressful situation also doesn’t hurt!

Being patient even as you try these things is also key. This kind of stuff surrounding lessening his anxiety is a skill, and it takes practice. If the two of you don’t practice it whenever the anxiety crops up, even once he starts to feel better, it’s a ‘use it or lose it’ kind of deal.

You should start to see improvement in a month or two, if this is a temporary situation! If he doesn’t seem to improve in six months, definitely make a psych appointment; separation anxiety after the six-month mark can be indicative of a bigger anxiety disorder, and often medications are the best way to get those under control initially.

Hope this helps! Let me know how things work out. 💚

#anxiety tw #answered #Bittybones #From the Desk of Dr. Lauren Derricks #Bitty advice #psychobabble #Anonymous

[act-addict-actors-matchups]

@ne-nene-ne said,

[1/2] Hi~ May I pls have a matchup? I'm a ♏, ISFP, 5'0 fem w/ medium length dark hair & eyes. I like wearing sweaters/sweatpants a lot! I love to draw & sing especially! I'd sing softly to my s/o if we're close & alone together. I often take endless pics of the sunset bc it's so pretty! Tbh I'm a loner. I'm shy, quiet, awkward and I like my alone time. I'm friendly and good-willing towards others nonetheless! I've been told I have a positive aura. I'm more chill, silly & playful w/ family!

[2/2] I can joke around w/ them! I have a short temper but I forgive just as quickly. I can be hard on myself bc I feel it's necessary to improve. I'm an appreciative person so I'll say "thank you" like 1000 times lol! I highly value family & honesty! My ideal s/o is someone family-oriented, devoted, and genuine. Bonus points if they're funny too! I'd like someone who I can slowdance to soft, jazz music w/. My love language is Acts of Service! Tysm! Take your time, stay healthy & stay safe! ❤

✧ Thank you so much for requesting a matchup love. Tumblr is not letting me tag you so hopefully you’ll see this. 😔 I wish you well during this challenging time. Hope you keep safe as well! 😷

I’d match you with: . . .

➜ HOW YOU TWO FIRST MET ; Juza Hyodo is that typical cold guy in school that everyone is lowkey scared of. That’s how he seems from outside anyway. You were asked by your biology teacher to borrow the books for the class’s current lesson from the library on the spot so you took a beeline for the shelves as fast as you could. But for god’s sake all the books were placed at the topmost part of the science shelves. You stood there for a good minute while glaring at the books overhead. You knew you were damned for good since there were no chairs nearby that were available and the librarian was nowhere to be seen. You stomped you feet in annoyance until you felt a looming presence behind you. A tall one. When you turned around, you saw Juza grabbing the books at ease and handing it to you. You thanked him quietly which surprised him because you actually didn’t quiver with fear or panic in his presence??? and you genuinely thanked him?? It was not usual for him to hear someone express their gratitude towards him. Even the cashiers from sweet shops he’d like to visit secretly we’re scared of him for heaven’s sake. After murmuring a little “‘S nothing.” he walked away. And that was the end of it. Or so you thought. The second time you met the purple haired boy was in a cafe. You were patiently waiting in the line for this so called Peanut Butter Pound Cake S'mores. According to your friends, it was one of the best desserts the cafe ever had. To test that theory, you decided to check the dessert yourself. Everything was perfectly normal until a young teenage boy of average height with fluffy pink hair and light blue eyes bumped into you, spilling a little of his drink on you. Yes, I’m talking about Muku. Baby boy was so scared and flustered, he apologized to you multiple times like crazy. Luckily it wasn’t anything hot so you didn’t burn yourself. Giving the boy a soft smile, you said it was fine and he shouldn’t worry about it. But he is a kind-hearted and modest boy with the motto "doing one good deed each day" so of course he offered you to give some of the Chocolate-Caramel Sandwich Cookies he had ordered before to apologize properly. Normally you would’ve reject the offer but with the way he was looking at you, you couldn’t find the heart to do so. While waiting for your order together, you learned what the boy’s name was and that he came here with his cousin. When you heard that the first image that popped into your mind was a soft looking person just like him you. After you got your order, the two of you made your way towards their table. And with that, your previous thought was thrown out of the window just like that. There he was, one and only Juza Hyodo, the person who helped you in the library, was sitting in a chair, quietly munching on one of the many sweets in front of him. When Muku announced that he was back, his eyes shot up to him and then shifted towards you. Yeah, it was awkward. Nevertheless, you tried to offer the tall boy a smile, which he just nodded his head, cheeks tilted pink to get his sweet tooth exposed to someone from school. After you sat down, Muku began to explain how he accidentally bumped into you and spilled some of his drink on you. Juza got the picture and said nothing. Though, gradually he started to become more comfortable. Before you knew it, you befriend the young teenage boy with fluffy hair. You told Muku how you two first met, which he only exclaimed how cool his cousin was and how the scene was just like from a shoujo manga. So yeah, your friendship with Juza started that day and slowly but steadily developed into something more. You would see him at school and chat with him, give him snacks to eat together on the rooftop etc.

➜ PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY ; Let me just start of by saying that you two are really similar in terms of personality. A loner who is shy, quiet, awkward, likes alone time yet still friendly and good-willing towards others? Yeah, you get to point. When you're dating someone who has almost identical personality traits as you, reading them becomes easier. Juza is honest and critical of himself but is more than willing to work hard on it to improve himself and so are you. You two motive each other become better versions of yourselves, constantly pushing forward hand in hand ad I think that’s a beautiful thing in a relationship. You two have the same values. He deeply values his comrades and family so he would love it whenever he saw you getting along with Muku or Kumon. He’s very protective of those he holds dear, so watching you interact with them and care for them as if they were your own family would make him fall for you even more. The same goes for him as well. He’ d try his utmost best to get along with your family. Physical affection is OUT the window in the first start of your guys' relationship though. And when you guys DO start attempting physical contact, he'd be so stiff. Baby boy really hasn’t had a lot of experience in regards to how to treat others with affection outside of his family. 🥺 but deep down, Juza has a soft side. He’s a bit shy with showing his affections, but he tries his utmost best to convey his love to you― one of them being if you ever needed him support with ANYTHING honestly, he’ll always make it known to you that you have his full support and that he’s always right beside you through everything.

➜ SHARED ACTIVITIES ; With an delinquent-like appearance that often gives people a "scary" impression of him, I feel like Juza would rather spend time inside rather than outside. For those with a serious sweet tooth, baking, especially with a lover has a double benefit: It engages the two of you in an activity you probably don't do often, and you get to enjoy something delicious afterward. You two make an especially decadent dessert when you're feeling ambitious, or simply break out a boxed mix if you're short on time — or baking skills. At first times, there is a lot of trial and error and you guys end up getting covered in flour and such, a cheeky smile present on your face. These are usually the times where you get to hear Juza’s rare laughs as he joined in your joy. Feeling too lazy to bake something? Have a candy tasting. Satisfying your sweet tooth is a foolproof way to survive. Stock up on different colors of Starbursts, Gummi Bears or Worms, Sour Straws, Hi-Chews, and whatever else you are craving— and then eat your way through the rainbow together. Bonus points if you’re lounging off your sugar coma with a movie on the couch afterwards, he doesn’t particularly mind what kind so it’s totally up to you which genre you want to watch. This one is technically not a date but sometimes you, Juza, Muku and Kumon play board games. Depending on how competitive you are, this idea can be a little dangerous. (looking at you monopoly.) But it’s always a blast to spend time with people you love and cherish.

➜ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY ; Juza’s birthday is on September 27, which makes him a Libra. When Libra and Scorpio come together in a love match, they tend to make a very emotionally connected and mutually satisfying union. Though Scorpio is a brooder who can get lost in the confusing welter of their own emotions, Libra’s proclivity for balance and harmony helps keep Scorpio even. Scorpio can return the favor to Libra with their characteristic powers of focus, a trait that Libra usually lacks. These two are very compatible due to their similar needs in a love relationship: Libra is the Sign of Partnership, and Libra is happiest when in a well-balanced and intimate relationship, while Scorpio thrives on emotional and sexual intimacy with their mate. These two Signs can make a very loyal, close and satisfying partnership. What’s the best aspect of the Libra-Scorpio relationship? The power they find in unity. They can accomplish a lot, whether they come together for a cause in the business or romantic sphere. They are both winners and they won’t give up, making theirs a relationship that takes care of business.

#act! addict! actors! #a3! matchup #juza hyodo

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Just ONE more...until I think of yet another question I'm dying to ask you a few minutes from now! What do you see as Buffy's greatest traits and worst flaws? Angel's greatest traits and worst flaws? In what ways (assuming they were human) do you see them as compatible? In what ways do think they're similar to each other, and what are their complementary differences? What jobs do you think they'd have as humans? What would they each be like as parents? What would they do in their spare time?!

Buffy’s greatest traits and worst flaws

Buffy is a very complex character with so many strengths, but equally, many flaws. Without a doubt her greatest strengths are her resillience and inner-strength. No matter what life throws at her she seems to have an incredible ability to keep moving forward. Even after Joyce’s death - which is undoubtedly one of the greatest tragedies anyone in this world will face - she’s able to compartmentalise in order to take responsbility of the household and step up to be a parental figure for Dawn when she’s still a child herself. Not to mention that she dies and is resurrected and somehow manages to find a way to keep going. What strikes me about Buffy is that even when she’s clearly struggling mentally and emotionally she never wallows in self pity. She accepts that the world is unfair and cruel and that everybody suffers in different ways and she does the best she can to carry on. Her other strengths include her leadership, confidence, determination and decisiveness. In every situation she finds herself in, Buffy is able to make tough decisions for herself and others. She never shies away from the responsibilities that go with being the Slayer, she owns it. She’s the one that everybody looks to when shit hits the fan and that’s a huge burden, but she never treats it as one despite feeling that way deep down inside. It takes so much courage to be able to make hard and fast decisions, particularly when those decisions impact the people around you, but Buffy does it all the time. Her morality is also a strength of Buffy’s. She has a strong sense of right and wrong, and although that view can sometimes be a little bit too black and white, she is never afraid to stand up and fight for what she believes is right no matter what it takes. Once again, that takes great courage. Speaking of courage, the courage and bravery Buffy has is staggering. Even when she’s afraid she doesn’t let it show, she always goes into a fight ready and raring to go. She’s also incredibly loyal and although she has a strong belief in justice, she has an ability to forgive others even when they sometimes aren’t necessarily deserving of her forgiveness.

As for her flaws, they’re very much the flip-side of her strengths. Her resillience and inner-strength can sometimes lead to her being emotionally unavailable and closed off. Her way of dealing with the responsibility of being the Slayer and the trauma, depression, grief and other powerfully negative emotions she faces is to isolate herself, shut away her feelings and focus on tasks. This means that she often doesn’t process or deal with her emotions in a healthy way resulting in her taking it out on others, or more commonly taking it out on herself (this is particularly the case in season 6). The way she would shut herself off emotionally also sometimes led to her not being perceptive of how others around her were feeling and being insenstive or dismissive of them. Simirlarly, her leadership and confidence means that she can be condescending and belittle the opinions and knowledge of others, believing that she’s superior. Sometimes her confidence can drift over to arrogance and she can’t always admit when she’s wrong or take the advice of others. Statements such as “There’s only me. I am the law” really show that. Furthermore, her decisiveness and leadership means that she sometimes makes decisions for others that aren’t hers to make or she doesn’t take the feelings of others into consideration as much as she should. Her courage and bravery can occassionally transform into recklessness and impulsivity whereby she throws herself into potentially harmful situations with little regard for her well-being.

Angel’s greatest traits and worst flaws

Angel’s greatest traits are definitley his compassion, dedication and selflessness. Angel will lay his life on the line to save the life of anybody, whether it’s his son or a stranger that he’s just met. He is fiercely dedicated to helping others and is genuinely able to empathise and sympathise with people in order to provide that help. Because of the uniqueness of Angel as a vampire with a soul he has an inherent ability to empathise with people (despite the fact that he believes he’s disconnected from them), because he’s lived for so long, has such a wealth of life experience, has experienced the darkest parts of humanity as a soulless demon and now feels the pure emotion that comes from having a soul. He’s able to see the good in everybody and to remain open-minded and non-judgemental in order to understand people’s lives, motivations and feelings. Despite how much good he does, he’s very humble and never seeks fame, glory or praise. There’s a lot to be said for the fact that every person Angel helps he does so because he wants to help. It’s that simple. He doesn’t do it because of some ulterior motive, it’s completely selfless. I mean, this is a man(pire) that was willing to die fighting an unwinnable battle. Angel is also a great leader, but in a very different way from Buffy. Angel isn’t a self-elected leader, he’s a natural leader that his friends look to because they trust his judgement and have faith in his decisions and ability to lead. Angel doesn’t assume responsibility because he believes he has the authority, power or skill to do so more than anybody else, he does it because that’s what his friends expect of him. As a result of this, he’s able to listen to the advice of his friends and even delegate responsibility, letting them to take the lead sometimes. This is all part of Angel’s kindness and ability to see the good in everyone. Angel has an ability to inspire and motivate those around him based purely on his actions and philosophy. He’s able to bring characters like Faith, Cordy, Wes, Gunn and Fred - all of whom felt disconnected, lonely, unappreciated and had very little self-belief when he first met them - and transform their perception of themselves. With Angel’s mission statement and leadership to provide them with direction and his care and support, they were all able to come into their own and hone their strengths, skills and abilities (which hadn’t been acknowledged previously) to make a difference in the world.

In regards to his flaws, I’d say that he can be very depressive and pessimistic, which is only to be expected from a vampire with a soul. Sometimes he can be prone to falling into a dark spiral and when he starts that descent there’s very little that can stop him. A lot like Buffy, this can sometimes be part of him hitting self-destruct. Angel carries a lot of guilt and self-loathing for his past actions, and in the moments that that catches up to him he struggles to put things into perspective and acknowledge the person he is now and all of the good he’s doing. He also has a tendency to fixate on certain things which causes him to lose sight of the bigger picture. This happens at various points with Buffy, Darla, Cordelia, Connor, Lindsey W&H and Spike. A lot of the time I think this stems from his  persistent fear that threats to those he loves are lurking just around the corner and doom is imminent (which, to be fair to him, it’s usually true haha). Angel also lacks confidence in his own abilities and is too humble. Being humble can never really be a negative thing, but I think that in the context of Angel’s character he’s too hard on himself and doesn’t give himself as much credit as he should for all the good he does. He often diminishes the huge importance he plays in fighting the good fight and the impact he has on people’s lives. Similarly, But Angel’s most obvious flaw (if we can even refer to it as such) is Angelus. Soulless vampires are evil, plain and simple, but Angelus takes this to the extreme. He’s a callous, vindictive, cruel, merciless monster that takes pleasure in inflicting pain on others and exploiting their weaknesses. Although Angelus is an entirely different character, it has an impact on how Angel acts. He constantly lives in fear of Angelus returning and with the guilt of Angelus’ actions. This results in him having a huge amount of self-hatred which festers inside him no matter how much time passes and which he can never get past or forgive himself for. However, Angel’s understanding and acceptance of this part of himself actually makes this somewhat of a strength of his. He hates that side of himself and repeatedly tells his friends that if he’s ever to lose his soul again they should kill him immediately.

In what ways (assuming they were human) do you see Bangel as compatible?

This is a very tricky question to answer, because I genuinely struggle to imagine Buffy and Angel as humans. The supernatural is such a huge part of their lives and such a definitive aspect of their relationship that if you take that away they become entirely different people and their relationship transforms as a result. Ultimately, what brings them together is their shared sense of isolation which comes from them being the only one of their kind - Buffy being the Slayer and Angel being a Vampire with a Soul. In addition, their fight against supernatural bads and desire to help others is a mission they share which unites them. There’s not very much that Buffy and Angel bond over outside of this, no shared interests, hobbies or commonalities that could be considered “human” that I can think of. So, I apologise, but I actually don’t know how to answer this question!

In what ways do think Bangel are similar to each other, and what are their complementary differences?

They’re both leaders who take immense responsibility onto their shoulders and have an ability to bring people together, to motivate and inspire them. Emotionally, they share similiar feelings of loneliness and depression that come from the traumas they face, the pressure of being a leader and feeling disconnected from the world they fight to protect. They’re resillient and have an astounding amount of strength which enables them to go on even after the worst has happened - Buffy has to endure killing Angel, losing her mother, dying and being resurrected; Angel has to endure dying, going to a hell dimension and being resurrected, losing Buffy, watching the mother of his child die in front of his eyes, having his son kidnapped by his own best friend, losing his son to evil, the woman he loves being possessed and impregnanted by an evil entity, losing his son forever as he wipes his memory, losing Cordy and Fred. I could continue, but you get the point. Buffy and Angel are able to keep moving forward when anyone else would simply lie down on the ground and give up. On a lighter note, they’re both goofy and have this adorkableness that seems to pop up during the most random times.

As for their differences, they have a lot but I wouldn’t necessarily consider them complimentary. I’d say that Buffy’s extroversion makes for a good contrast to Angel’s introversion. Angel keeps Buffy grounded and centered, whilst Buffy’s free-spirit captures Angel. Angel is also more able to remain open-minded to the possibility that demons have a capacity for goodness, whilst Buffy is usually much quicker to condemn demons without considering that they may not always be wholly evil. This means that Angel is able to encourage Buffy to reconsider her black and white view on the world and to give chances to those she may not have naturally, and on the flip side, Buffy’s outlook can remind Angel that not everybody always deserves a second chance or has a capacity to redeem themselves and set themselves on the right path.

Besides this, I can’t really think of any differences they have that are complimentary. The main differences I see between them come from the fact that Angel is so much older than Buffy and has completely different experiences as a vampire. Ths means that his motivations and priorities are quite different from Buffy’s, despite them being dedicated to a similar cause. Although Buffy accepts being the Slayer and fulfils her duties, she’s resistant to it on more than one occassion and when an oppourutnity arises to create more Slayers so that she’s not the only one she does so because she doesn’t want to carry that burden of being the Chosen One. In comparison, Angel is a self-elected hero. He’s not pre-ordained or chosen, he willingly dedicates himself to helping the helpless because he believes that’s his calling and he wants to repent for his previous sins. In an ideal world, Buffy doesn’t want to be the Slayer, she wants to be an ordinary girl, but Angel wouldn’t willingly choose to be human even if it was offered to him on a silver platter (which it is in ‘I Will Remember You’). Buffy, despite being the Slayer, is a human girl who longs for the things that most human girls do; to hang out with her friends, have fun, go shopping, spend time with family, graduate, get a car, go on holiday and do everything else that young people do. Angel naturally doesn’t care about any of that. He doesn’t think in terms of his future or building a life like Buffy does, he lives for the here and now and works off the idea that he will do everything he can today to make his life count for something.

What jobs do you think Bangel would have as humans?

I think Angel would be a Private Investigator. I know this is a bit of a cop out, because he was a PI on AtS, but it’s exactly the sort of job that suits him. He needs something where he can actively be out in the world making a difference to people’s lives but where he has freedom to make his own decisions and take on his own cases. He also needs to have action in his life and to have independence. Although he works well with his friends on AtS, he isn’t the sort of guy that necessarily works well in a team, particularly if he’s forced to work with people that he doesn’t know very well.

Buffy would be in fashion. I don’t just say this because she has great fashion sense, but because she’s able to see the essence of people and I feel she would know exactly how to use fashion and image to project that to the outside world. I also think that a creative and vocational career where Buffy can use her hands and put her ideas into practice would suit her personality down to a T.

What would Bangel each be like as parents? What would they do in their spare time?!

Well, we saw Angel as a father and Buffy as a kind-of-mother to Dawn, but I suppose as a co-parenting team I’d imagine them to be fun-loving but over-protective parents. They would definitley teach their kids self-defence; Angel would encourage them to read books and go to the ballet and theatre and musuems to ensure they’re attuned to the world around them and culturally aware; Buffy would be the discplinarian because lets face it Angel is just a softie; they’d attend ice hockey games every weekend where Angel would embarass the kids by yellling out all the time; Angel would tell the worst dad jokes in the world; Buffy would always try to make things fun and take any oppourtunity she could to have a family barbeque, parties or celebration; they’d sit down to eat dinner together every evening and Angel would cook (because Buffy’s cooking skills only extend to cheese toasties); Buffy would be the cool hip parent that every parent at the school playground would admire and envy; Angel would take on the domestic duties like cleaning, washing clothes and cooking but the kids would have a strict chore schedule that they’d get pocket money for; Buffy would be incredibly affectionate always smothering the kids with hugs and kisses and beaming about how proud she is of them.

#answered #meant-to-be-waiting-for-me #buffy the vampire slayer #angel the series #buffy summers #angel #bangel

[doetoes-blog]

Sarah I told my parents about my eating disorder and now they're creating a meal plan for me to stick to. The thing is, I don't know if I'm ready to recover. Every time I think about eating the food I start to panic. I was crying for hours just thinking about it. I don't know if I'm ready yet.

first of all, i’m so, so proud of you for accepting you have a problem and reaching out for help. that can be the hardest part of the recovery journey for a lot of people, and you’re already past that hurdle. well done! 

keep in mind that everything i’m about to say is stuff that helped me get from starvating to eating intuitively and from hating my body to viewing it neutrally. this just comes from my experience, and since i’m not you i have no idea what will and what won’t help. so don’t be discouraged if anything i say doesn’t immediately help you, or help you at all. that said, here are some things to think about: (under the cut because this is reeeeally long and it’s basically my “ED Recovery For Dummies” walkthrough lol)

your brain is starved of nutrients right now. that exacerbates your eating disorder and any other mental/neurological disorders you may have. things will get easier once you start refeeding your brain, i promise. it won’t be this hard forever.

you have a disorder. you’re sick. i know you logically know that, but do you internalize it? do you understand that your brain is screaming at you to self destruct because it’s sick? you, yourself, the lovely anon in my inbox, the amazingly strong person who stepped forward to ask for help, do not actively want to starve themself. you don’t truly want this - your disorder is tricking to you. recovery from an eating disorder is no different than physical therapy after breaking an arm. it’s going to be tough, but you need to build your strength back to heal. here’s the thing: until you’re firmly in recovery, you’re never going to feel ready to recover. that’s part of being sick. just like until you’ve gone through physical therapy, your arm is going to hurt! but in the end, it’s all worth it.

food is fuel. food is fuel. food is fuel. you wouldn’t try to drive a car 100 miles on a drop of gasoline, would you? of course not, that’s not how cars work - and that’s not how your body works! think about all of the amazing things your body needs fuel to be able to do. pet dogs, walk through the park, smile at babies, hug your family, read books, whatever you enjoy doing. you can’t drive to the beach without gas and you can’t walk on the beach without food.

this part may be diffiult to accept right now, but keep it in mind anyway: food is just fuel. a stick of celery and a cookie are both fuel, they’re just different types of fuel. we needs all types of fuel to be able to function the way that we want to. that said, it’s perfectly fine to enjoy fueling your body. it’s not a reflection of your character if you bond with your family over a nice meal. it’s not sinful to have a treat when you want one. no food is the enemy, and when you stop seeing food as the enemy, ironically, you’ll have more control over it.

in the same vein as thinking about the things you need food to do, make a list of all of the positive things your body does. i’m not a big advocate for body positivity because it’s just not realistic to think we’re the hottest thing to ever walk the earth every second of every day (heck, not even the people we think are the hottest thing to ever walk the earth think that!) but i do firmly believe in respecting that your body is a work of art that is powerful and utilitarian. you might wish your (body part) was (smaller/bigger/rounder/straighter/whatever) but at the end of the day, your body is a miracle in motion. your nose, however pointy or round or big or small, smells because of billions of years of evolution that collided to create the perfect you that smells. your legs, however long or short or soft or stick-like, are the reason you can walk from point a to point b. they are strong enough to carry you for miles. did you know humans have the best endurance of any animal on planet earth? prehistoric humans stayed alive only because they chased animals until the animals just couldn’t walk anymore. we migrated all over the planet because our legs can take us all the way from africa all the way to alaska. and your legs can do that! isn’t that amazing?

remember: you’re not just eating a scary meal. you’re retraining your brain to have a more neutral view of food. you’re retraining your body to use food as fuel. you’re retraining your willpower to do what you want, not what the disorder wants. mealtimes may be a battle, but you’re going to win this war.

not all of these may help you right away, but they’re good things to be aware of. they won’t all come to you at once. for me, just surrounding myself with these positive reminders, even when i didn’t fully believe them, eventually helped me internalize them.

some extra tidbits:

self care, whatever that means to you, is a huge part of body neutrality and recovery. for me, it’s reading, having a bedtime routine and set bedtime schedule, having a good skincare routine, volunteering, and reparenting myself. for you, it could be playing the obo and painting your toenails. just find what works for you. when it’s hard, think about how you would treat someone you love, or maybe a child that was in your care, and treat yourself that way. eventually you’ll learn to love yourself.

surround yourself with positive people. drop negative people. if someone tries to talk to you about their ~new crazy fried chicken and tissue paper diet that made them lose 9489374 pounds in ten seconds~ explain to them that you’re not the person to be talking aboutt that with. if they don’t respect that, give them the boot. the reason for this is because you need to cultivate a life where you can grow. think about it like you’re a gardener fertilizing the soil, picking the weeds, and watering a plant so that it can bloom into a beautiful flower. your surroundings have a huge impact on your mental health! in speaking of surrounding yourself with positive people,

this video explains exactly how i started recovery.

^ @oatsnjen‘s entire channel did wonders for me. she gives lots of advice about countering diet culture/disordered eating in her eating vlogs. she showed me what a healthy amount of food looked like and taught me that eating a healthy amount of food with some treats whenever you want them won’t make you die of a heart attack.

@whatmiadidnext is generally an amazing channel (though some videos can be stressful because she speaks out about serious issues in society, so just be careful if you’re super sensitive). here’s a great video that helped me realize that recovery is possible, albeit slow. here’s her explanation of intiutive eating. this is really what i based my current “diet” (meaning how/what/when/etc what i eat) on.

i need to follow more recovery/positivity blogs on tumblr, but my faves right now are @carissa-n-cream @chaoticawakening @sheisrecovering @edo-vivendum @queen-of-carbs @peachisty @sketchesinstillness. just generally focus on keeping your surroundings positive!

i reccomend staying away from the “hey guys i eat nothing but organic oxygen and gmo free dirt and do a billion pushups a minute to burn it off and i’m healed from my eating disorder! :-)” folks because they can lead you down a path of pseudo-recovery. i’m not going to call anyone out, but just ask yourself if a blogger/vlogger/tweeter/whatever 1. views food as fuel 2. exercises to care for their health, not to keep a certain body shape and 3. focuses on the positive - it’s okay to talk about the difficult parts of recovery, but it may be harmful if someone has the attitude of “woe is me look how sad and tiny and little uwu i am.” answer for yourself if they’re a good influence on you or not.

good luck anon; my inbox is always open and i’ll be praying for you. 💕

#you've got mail #ed stuff #ed recovery #✏️