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morganpdf · 4 months

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U kno what. Go ham and answer all (or as many of the questions as you want/are relevant) for uhhhhhh Robin and/or Fig (idr if Fig is your OC or Justice’s OC so I’ll leave it up to you)

damb!!!!!!!!!! an excuse to talk too much about robin lets go!!!!!!! (fig is @saltylenpai's and he's not feeling 2 well so i dont wanna bombard him w messages rn dsfds but if i know something for them ill answer it)

also warning for ~mature themes~ or w/e bc this is about robin and she fucks. sorry (nothing graphic just the acknowledgement that she does)

also just for clarity's sake, when i say 'connect 4' thats just the name juice & i use for august/piper/robin/felix bc thats easier than naming them one by one dsfds. on w the show

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

god ngl i can't really, remember, justice might have named her?? like. that's the most likely scenario :sob: he's named so many of my ocs when we were doing back-and-forths trying to figure out the vibes of guys. robin was fun tho bc she didnt have a name when i first posted her bc i really liked her design and wanted to post it despite not having. u know. a name for her yet. also just checked her og post and it has 69 notes. its what she would want

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

when i first made her, robin was 25! now its sort of just a nebulous mid-to-late 20s depending on when art of her takes place tbh! i'd say she's 24/5-ish around the start of that story (so, like, when she finally breaks it off 100% w zoey [her shitty ex that she started dating in highschool], piper moves in w her, potential one night stand w felix, etc etc). maybe a little younger but also not by much. by the time she's got shit more figured out (ie felix has moved in, she & piper have started dating, getting help for her various neuroses etc) would be like 28-29, probs in her 30s by the time they ALL move in together imo. i could be off w that tho but its fine dsbhfs their story is always changing and growing so who knows!

okay wait i just came back to this like 3 hours after starting to write these & sitting on it and. i think robin is roughly 23 when zoey breaks up w her and piper moves in. august is in her senior year of undergrad when she meets piper (again) and she's younger than robin. i think piper is the youngest?? okay wait. ok. robin is 23 when piper moves in, who is 21 at the time. august is 22 & felix is like 21 and a half. or something. at the very beginning. or maybe robin is 22 and piper is 20 and they dont encounter august for another year or so??? idk. ill figure this out eventually. where i draw her most is her late 20s when shes happy w everyone HSDVSFV thats what matters

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

yeas :3 felix is their partner/fiancé (they dont get married for a long time even after getting engaged bc robin just, really likes calling them her fiancé. it's really special to her) and piper is her girlfriend!! it took a long time for robin to realize she was worth loving tbh but all of connect 4 are out here trying to remind her whenever they can (even august. begrudgingly.) (also just to clarify, august is piper's wife) (and felix's gym buddy/bestie/fuck buddy) (she and robin have some sort of fwb thing going on. enemies with benefits. they pretend to hate each other but dont be fooled. theyre besties) (august just isnt romantically involved w anyone But piper) (same w felix & robin)

also fig is dating wren! however i have no current art of them :sob: he's a sweetheart printmaking major who meets fig in school. fig is a fine arts type major who minors in, like, photography, & also tries to work w as many mediums as possible. wren is kind of infatuated w them but tries to hide it bc he's... a dork. he's a dork who does NOT know how to talk to people. and takes to doodling fig in their sketchbook & making prints abt the nebulous Feelings they give him. fig is Aware of it but is Very Autistic abt it all & cant place their own feelings for a while. it all comes to a head when they're. like. hanging out together in the studio and fig just drops a description of how theyve been feeling around wren and wren is like. um. ummmm. did they just fucking. confess to me. and then it's another week before wren is like heeyyyyyyyyyy. would you. like to go on a date. and fig is like. ok :) anyways theyre very in love.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

is coffee a food. i think robin would live off of it if she could. felix is like, the main reason she starts actually Eating Food Normally bc they wont let her drink 5 iced coffees & call it a day. but to tell u the truth ive never really thought abt her fav food! it's probably something really simple, tho, like one of her dad's pasta recipes. comfort foods to the max.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

robin works as a barista at the coffee shop below her apartment (let me have this fantasy). ive said it once and i'll say it again: robin is the epitome of coffee shop au (derogatory). she doesnt Hate it bc so much free coffee & all her coworkers are some kind of queer but shes also like. not exactly a social butterfly & if anyone's ever a jackass to her she will Not take it (let me have this fantasy also). she's llike 5' even but if anyone yells at any of her coworkers. even ones she doesnt like. she's up to bat so fast. u wanna speak to the manager? ok speak to me. ill kill you

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

YEAS robin likes to sew & make clothes/costumes in her spare time. zoey used to make fun of her abt it so she kind of fell off of it for a while, but when piper moved in w her & showed interest in it, robin picked it back up! didn't get fully back into it for a while, but she's out here making clothes for connect 4 as a labor of love (esp felix bc. theyre fucking huge & have trouble finding things in their size sometimes. especially in the arms). also i specify costumes bc she absolutely drags all of them 2 conventions w her in themed cosplays that, like, none of them but robin understand dvgfsdgv. she also sometimes tag-teams w ellis (august's old college roomie) bc xe's actually really into cosplay & nerd shit but can't sew. however xe CAN work w robin to add cool practical effects to costumes and as much as they bully each other . ngl their cosplays always fuck. OH ALSO robin has a tattoo gun . she gives herself tattoos sometimes. when she's feeling it. sometimes the others get in on it dsfds

🎯 -What do they do best?

bitch and moan and be a hater. fuck nasty lesbian style. etc etc

jokes aside tbh . i dont want to boil her down to "barista" but she IS, like, good at what she does. the shit she makes slaps. one of those bitches who has as many fancy coffee gadgets around the apartment as she can afford (and some she cant). no one's complaining tho bc. despite all the bitching she does. she really likes doing things 4 the people she loves and has everyones morning favs down pat

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

once more. bitch and moan and be a hater & fuck nasty lesbian style. dsvbhgfvbsdh. this is only half a joke tbh robin can be hypersexual & genuinely really enjoys sex so like. yeah. she loves to bone down w any mix of connect 4 and it's a blessing that there's 3 other people bc sometimes i dont think any one of them could keep up. lmao. other than that she enjoys, like, reading indie comics & also manga tbh. loves to cuddle up w felix in bed while they read bc they have sleeping trouble & she knows she helps sometimes. loves to plan dates & hangouts even if she complains the whole time. loves spending any & all time she can w her loved ones now that she lets herself Connect on an emotional level as for shit she hates 2 do. working closers @ opening back to back (happens often). not a fan of cooking. hates going to the gym but will do it to watch felix & august work out. thinks most chores are a sisyphean task that she, personally, has been burdened with (enjoys doing laundry tho). hates talking abt her feelings but gets better abt it

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

the first christmas she spent w felix was. ngl. life changing for her. even if shit broke bad shortly after :sob: (they get it worked out but it gets messy for a hot second). genuinely one of the first times she feels Loved for who she is & like she could deserve it someday. which scares the hell out of her in the moment but. despite everything she still thinks abt it fondly also. when she proposes to felix is up there. not necessarily the proposal (that was slapdash & embarrassing and she kind of wants 2 crawl into the dirt) (after weeks of planning & getting cold feet Once Already, she just drops it on felix while they're driving & they nearly crash bc thats nothing they would have ever expected robin 2 say. and robin ends up so embarrassed she nearly has a panic attack trying to backtrack bc what was she doing what was she saying this was the worst obviously youre going to say no im so sorry please ignore everything ive said in the past 5 minutes--) (felix has to pull over on the side of the road to help robin Chill)but the aftermath, when she's calmed down enough that felix is able to be like, hey, hey, baby. look at me. you can take it back if you really want but the answer would be yes either way ok? and they have a Moment and end up making out w robin sat up on the guard rail while the sun sets around them. very romantic save for all the honking they get

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

most anything involving her ex and highschool. tbh. that's all kind of a blur for her but it's not like she Wants to remember any of it. zoey has always preyed on her insecurities & kind of molded her into the bitter cunt she pictures herself as so. it's kind of all bad. she wasn't a good person when she was with zoey & she knows it & feels guilty abt it. other contenders include: when she lied to her dads abt going to college in LA (she went for a semester and dropped out) specifically to be w zoey, knowing they wouldnt have Let Her Go had they known zoey was involved (they did not like zoey). any memory involving holidays spent alone (or worse: w zoey) when she would ignore calls from her dads. another contender for worst is the memory of seeing felix for the first time after their initial break up because ough ouch oof owie that sucked shit.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

nope! she was originally a splatoon octoling :^] still very similar vibes tho!

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

juice & i wanted to make splat ocs that were salmon runners! her og lore is that she worked salmon run shifts over night & coffee shop shifts during the day. no time to sleep she needs to make money. now she just has the coffee shop job but she's still just as cranky and mean. FELIX HOWEVER has changed so much. i know this isn't abt felix but its still wild thinking abt just how much they've mellowed out compared to like, og felix.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

slice of life :^] same as august and piper. there's a post going around abt, like, coming of age stories for adults where. u know. people over 25 or whatever are finally coming into their own & if that was a Genre id absolutely smack robin into it. she grows A Lot from her 20s into her 30s. continues to grow from there, too. haven't thought too much abt, like, Older Connect 4 bc i have some Neuroses around that, but shhh

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

robin is cis </3 but a lesbian! <3 fsdfds (august is also cis and a lesbian. piper and felix are the partners w the genders) (piper is a trans lesbian & felix is. genderfluid? queer? has something going on. & bisexual. like. fuck men as a man, fucks women as a woman, etc) (u only technically asked abt robin but shh)

fig is (wavy hand motion) and demi :^] juice is still playing around w their gender, when i asked it was like. some variation of nonbinary or agender leaning on towards transfem. gender simply does not matter to them

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

both robin and fig are only children!

robin feels Guilty abt that often bc she feels like she's kind of a fuck up and that her dads deserved a better daughter (they love her dearly and would never think she's a failure or a burden) (but robin has Neuroses)

fig is. tbh. very much a spoiled only child. theyre very sweet and kind tbh but they were (and are) Very Protected From Everything & their parents can and will do anything for them at any given moment. money is no object. they use this power for good as often as they can tho

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

ope didnt realize this was the next question dsvfgsd so. uh. oopies. i will add on that like. robins dads went the surrogacy route w her. her godmom was the gestational carrier & is pretty good friends w her dads so she shows up to family functions a lot dsfsd. ive yet to design her tho (very double income no kids lesbian aunt vibes from her) (i need to flesh her out more actually) (juice and i half designed robins dads once but didnt settle on anything. need to do that again)

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

i like that robin grows and heals w time, and even though she fucks up she still ends up happy w her friends and family. she has a support system of people who love her. despite going through deep shit & dealing w a lot of mental health issues, she's happy and safe and loved & has learned how to cope w things & is on her way to forgiving herself. she doesnt want to die anymore. she finally looks forward to the future. im normal. dont look too much into this. anyways

as for fig . my fav thing abt them is how in love w the world they are. they never get tired of how beautiful everything is, from sunsets to grass growing in cracks in the sidewalk to the patterns that gnats follow. its part of the reason they get into art tbh. they want to translate that beauty into their work. why they dabble in every medium they can. i love fig so much

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

robin is easily my most drawn oc (followed shortly by jo, but mostly bc jo was like. my only oc for a while & they were directly connected to a special interest at the time) BUT EVEN THEN. I DONT DRAW HER ANYWHERE NEAR ENOUGH 😭😭😭 rip to all my ocs who arent my comfort characters that no one fucking Knows about because i never draw them. BIGGER rip to the OCs who dont even have toyhouse pages bc i only drew them once years ago and have since redesigned in my mind but havent drawn yet. looking @ ellis & atlas & wren & graham especially. sorry to my boys (and ellis) i just never draw guys ever :sob: (posts that made me realize its literally like. all my guy ocs - and ellis - who i havent uploaded yet 😭😭😭)

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

lmao no absolutely not robin is going to live forever. all my ocs are immortal (<- guy who has Intense Neuroses & Anxieties revolving around death and is not in a place where he can unpack that shit yet)

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

i dont think robin has any ACTUAL phobias (like., defined ones. you know what i mean??) (like arachnophobia or agorophobia or w/e), but for the longest time she was terrified of showing anyone that she cares bc she didn't want to get used again. that's why the initial break-up? w felix happens (she admits she loves them during sex & then immediately panics and kicks felix out & runs away to her dads house for a month w/o telling anyone & purges all her socials. she's normal and makes totally rational decisions). she also has a pretty big Fear that zoey is going to dredge up old shit and start shit and make the rest of connect 4 leave her (which. like. zoey DOES try after a couple of years) (bc shes a petty motherfucker who is upset that robin's doing well) (it obviously. doesn't work) (piper writes a. quite frankly. scathing ass message to zoey) (august swears if she were a few years younger & stupider she would have gone out and started a Fight) (felix just holds her so tight) (anyways)

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

fig is absolutely incapable of having an arch-nemesis or rival. like. thats not something that could exist 4 them. they love everyone too much and just assume good intentions. its a problem sometimes.

also robin has several rivals tbqh. the peppy gay barista at work who is too much of a ray of sunshine. she is going to get him to crack. ellis is a rival bc xe hates everyone august has ever slept with (barring piper) (i dont think xe realizes she slept w felix though bc . those two had . a lot of risky hookups in public places i dont think they really ever boned at the apartment LMAO). august is her BIGGEST rival (said lovingly). their relationship is very (robin voice) shut up august im gonna go fuck your wife now. and august bullies her so hard. relentlessly. also full disclosure they also fuck sometimes but its specifically (i warned everyone abt sexual themes or whatever so i can say this) really rough nasty stuff bc august doesnt mind getting rougher w her and robin lives for it. lmao. very hatesex type shit where they're constantly butting heads while robin is tied to the bed. we have fun here

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

i posted robin for the first time on sept 7 2020!! which is the same day as justice's bday which is fun. so! she'll be 4 this year :^] wild as shit tbh it still feels like she's a new oc to me.

fig also looks like they have a 2020 bday, just earlier in the year! wild!

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

me sitting here like. okay how much pain am i gonna be in acknowledging how old i was in 2020. okay lets see. ok. robin was a week before my birthday which means i was. oh my god. i was 24. i wasnt even 25 yet. oh my god. ohghh my god. time comes for us all. i made robin older than me when i made her im gonna throw up. im gonna become an oyster. im gona

#ask meme tag #ask.pdf #morgan.pdf #nightbloggingbyday #long post #edit: added a link to robins og image. for fun

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glasshalftrue · 2 months

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as both an artist and a programmer (though not one working in machine learning so i won't claim anything close to expertise), the anti-ai takes i see from artists are really frustrating to me. the two most common criticisms i see about it are that it's 1. stealing 2. not art regarding the first point, it's clear that most artists don't understand the general technology behind it at all. they constantly claim that it does stuff like just collage different parts of images together, when that's very much not what it's doing! the process that neural nets use is incredibly complex and it's much more about pattern matching than storing and replicating exact sets of pixels. i definitely don't like it when ai artists specifically target an artist who voices their discomfort with having their art being used that way, if only because it's simply mean and rude, but unfortunately, i can't say that i'd consider it plagiarism. and for the people who want stronger copyright laws to protect artists' rights: believe me, it will not at all be helpful to "the little guy" like you think it will. regarding the second point, it seems like there's a couple things going on. one part of the critique seems to come from the quality of the art itself, which is an obviously losing battle. remember a year ago, when people were making fun of how bad ai was at generating hands? they seem to have pretty much solved that now, and whatever little nitpick you might be able to point out next, it's almost certain they'll eventually figure out that one too. i see a lot of tips floating around about how to tell if a piece of art is ai-generated, and while the tips usually do work well, the fact that the people need to use these increasingly specialized perceptive skills makes it pretty clear that it's becoming more and more indistinguishable. i've seen plenty of cases at this point of real artists having their work being accused of being ai-generated, which to me seems like the logical conclusion of people's assumptions that they can always tell when something is real or not, and i think it's only going to get worse and worse. the other part of the critique is about the artist's intent, an appeal to some illusory idea of "the soul", which seem like transparently bad arguments to me, and are clearly motivated from an emotional-driven place. because it seems so obvious to me that prompters do, in fact, have an intent when they're generating ai art, some sort of vision of what they want to create. it doesn't matter that their idea is vaguely defined rather than fully-formed in their head; plenty of existing art forms involve a creation process that is similarly stochastic, from Jackson Pollock-style drip paintings to experimental generative digital music. hell, even when i draw i often don't know exactly what i want to the end product to look like and figure it out as i go along! now, the incredibly low-barrier to entry and the general motivations and sensibilities of a lot of typical ai art enthusiasts mean that, in practice, a lot of (maybe most) ai art is indeed dumb garbage. but just like how the reality that most mainstream superhero movies these days are boring and soulless doesn't mean that the superhero genre is inherently without merit, the existence of bad ai art isn't good evidence of the medium itself being creatively bankrupt.

ultimately, i do agree and sympathize with a lot of artists' concerns and criticisms about ai art and what its possible effects on the world will be. like i said, in practice a lot of ai art really is soulless trash, but the ease of creation means that i can very easily see a world where most of the art we see today in our everyday lives is replaced with bland, insipid ai generated shit that is just good enough for the general public, and i really don't want to live in that world. and for that same reason, it'll also likely have a very bad impact on the art industry and people's abilities to do art as a career, and while the disruption of industries due to technological innovation is a tale as old as time, the potentially rapid pace of this disruption will certainly lead to a lot of suffering along the way. i just wish that artists had a better idea of what they're actually fighting against.

#ai art #ai art discourse #the discourse

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interact-if · 3 years

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Day 2 of Pride Month interviews! You know them, you love them…. give it up for Ames!

Ames, author of Attollo and Metamorphosis

Pride Month Featured Authors

“…and it was a singular, terrible thought, which burrowed itself into your mind like an engorged maggot. This was not a man nor a monster. This was a concept, an ideology, a terrible myth, which had personified itself to stand before you now.You were, to put it simply, screwed.”

After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend.

Too bad it’s never so simple.

Demo: Attollo, Metamorphosis (TBA)

Tags: cybernoir, thriller

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

Attollo is a cyber-noir horror set in a walled city off the coast of the Atlantic that’s been a victim of a nuclear disaster. After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend. Too bad it’s never so simple. Attollo is a 17+ game that deals with heavy topics and a lot of moral questioning; from cults to corrupt government, it has no shortage of monsters in the dark—both metaphorical and literal.

Metamorphosis is a crime/horror story based in the world of crime scene cleanup, where there are three simple steps: Get the call, clean the scene, and don’t ask too many questions. These are the rules that you live by under the employment of Noctua’s Crime Scene Services, and you credit them for keeping you alive.

However, after a routine house call brings forth nightmares of memories that are not your own, you find yourself pulled deeper into Noctua—a city of both monster and man—in a bid to find out the truth behind the murder of Deirdre Callow, and better yet, how her memories came to be yours. Your job mandates that you don’t dig too deep—but could this finally be the exception?

Metamorphosis is 18+ and will have explicit content; follow the last moments of a stranger to find out not only who took her life, but how this connects to the underbelly that Noctua works so hard to hide.

Q2: Why interactive fiction? What drew you to the medium?

Lmaoo, oh man. I think it really all began last summer when I first found examples of interactive fiction. I don’t even remember how I came across it, it might’ve been that I saw it mentioned in a post or I saw it as a tag on Itch.io, but at some point, last summer I began to investigate it more. I think what really drew me in was the ability for the player to control the narrative; it was like playing an old RPG, but modernized, and the fact that I could see a story unfold that was influenced by my decisions was so fascinating to me. Not to mention that IF allows so much more character depth than regular novels, in my opinion.

I’m 99% sure my first exposure to interactive fiction was through the game Crème de la Crème (a fantastic game, by the way) and I just enjoyed it so much that I went haywire for the genre. Then Temple of the Endless Night came out (another fantastic game that I’m looking forward to!), and that was really the turning point for inspiring me to give it a go. Now, almost a year later, here I am working on my own two games!

Q3: Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

My bisexuality doesn’t have much of a major influence on the game, but I do think it contributed to the way that I view and write relationships. I figured out my sexuality around high school (I kissed a girl in high school and found out I liked it just as much as when I kissed a boy) and since then I’ve been very involved in the LGBTQ+ community of both my hometown and uni town.

I think this involvement, like being able to hear about other people’s experiences and share my own, has made me feel a lot more comfortable writing some of the characters in the game. Although Attollo and Metamorphosis both don’t focus heavily on relationships (both have murder in them, which I feel is a bit more pressing), I do keep the option for any RO’s to be romanced by anyone, regardless of gender or preference, because that’s simply what I’ve become so attuned to. In terms of side characters relationships as well, I think my involvement and my own experiences have allowed me to write far more diverse relationships than I might have, and I think that this has also allowed a more fulfilling experience for players when reading through.

I also have incorporated some struggles that I’ve faced before because of my identity into the games. For example, I and a few others have faced issues with religion due to who we are, and I incorporate this into both games. Dreamwalker, Pariah, and Sysba from Attollo all have shadows of this experience in their character origins, and Ilali and Ariston from Metamorphosis has a major point involving identity and beliefs. Both games also have undertows of ostracization and division between groups, which is also something I’ve experienced in the past. Being able to grapple these moments and control them via a narrative has been eye opening for both myself and others involved, and I’m hoping it can be a learning experience for the readers as well.

Q4: What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction?

I think, now, the amount of progress in LGBTQ+ fiction is expanding at a wonderful rate. There are so many interactive fictions with options to select sexuality, select gender, select beliefs, etc. However, despite this expansion, there’s still a good deal of backlash against some aspects of LGBTQ+ fiction.

For example, as a bisexual woman who has dated men, I know there are some individuals who may not consider me a part of the LGBTQ+ because of this aspect. Not only is this incredibly disheartening, but it’s a viewpoint that I think should be educated against, and fiction is a fantastic pathway to do this. Another example I can think of is a friend of mine who identifies as asexual but is sex-neutral rather than sex-repulsed. Most people can’t believe her when she says this, and she often faces backlash for this declaration as well. This is another thing that I think that, with exposure through a medium such as fiction, can be worked on.

What I’m trying to say here is that I think LGBTQ+ fiction can be a brilliantly educational platform—if used right. Although it already teaches so much with what it has, I think having that representation of different subgroups of sexuality, of their experiences and beliefs, so people can become aware and knowledgeable of these options, is something I’d like to see more of.

Q5: What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

Oh man, I struggled to list off inspirations because I know I have some, but as soon as someone asks me who they are my brain just goes ‘brrrrrr’ LMAO.

In terms of the games that I write and the worlds that I build, I think David Lynch and Robert Chambers are probably the two that I somehow incorporate. Attollo and Metamorphosis both have a lot of surrealist horror, which are what these two really specialized in. Shirley Jackson is also another person who inspired me a lot when it came to the writing and creation of Attollo, especially the intrapersonal relationships between the characters.

In terms of life, this is something else I really struggle to answer. I don’t really have celebrity inspirations or anything like that, but I do get inspired by my close friends and sister a lot. Seeing them go through the struggles that they face and absolutely thrive really drives me to push through my own struggles. They’re the strongest, most brilliant group of people that I know, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I can be a part of their lives. Not only that, but we also all collectively encourage each other to push further and to chase our dreams (as cheesy as that is LMAO) and that’s something that I think is another stroke of good fortune. I struck gold when I met them, and they’re some of the biggest inspirations in my life.

Q6: What’s a super vague spoiler for your current project?

For Attollo, I’d say ‘Home is where the heart is.’ For Metamorphosis, to quote John Berendt, ‘Always stick around for one more drink.’

Q7: Lastly, what advice would you give to your readers?

What advice would I give to you all? Oh my, I’m not exactly a wise woman here, but I’ll do my best to give you something lmaooo. I think what I really want you to walk away with, from both my stories and this interview, is that if you’re passionate about something, then share it with the world. Don’t let anyone deter your passion.

I remember listening to this painter once who commented to his friend how he ‘really liked painting’, and his friend’s first response was ‘but are you good at it?’. He then compared this to the scenario of walking; would you say, ‘but are you good at it?’ to someone who said, ‘I really like walking’? No, because it simply wouldn’t make sense, and it doesn’t make sense to say that to anyone who’s doing something out of passion.

To put it simply—if you love something, then don’t let anyone take that passion from you. I began writing these stories because I’m passionate about Attollo and Metamorphosis; I love each character, each bit of lore, and I share it with you because I want you all to enjoy it as well. Am I the best writer? God, no. Does everyone like what I write? Definitely not. But will I let this stop me from writing, from enjoying what I’m doing? Never, and I want you to do the same.

Explore your passions, embrace your passions, and let what makes you happy continue to do so

#if: events #Pride Month 2021 #pride month #queer authors #queer fiction #queer creators #interactive fiction

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ravens-words · 3 years

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Buddie Fic Recs (1/?)

Some of y'all asked for Buddie fic recs, and I am here to deliver 😌

If you want to be tagged in any futur ones I do, let me know please (asks, messages, replies, anything goes)

Long Fics (50+k)

♣️ The Space Between Sleep by Tattered_Dreams (Complete)

As weeks pass after the Tsunami, Christopher has Eddie to help him deal with the scars it left behind. He also has Buck. Buck's dealing with his own demons, but he has both of them.

Eddie's trying to keep them all together and finding out his family might not be as small as he thought.

The 118 have their few cents to add, too, because don't they always.

This is one of my favorite Buddie fics. It deals with the aftermath of the tsunami in a way that is absolutely beautiful and realistic and authentic. Christopher and Buck's relationship, and Eddie and Christopher's relationship are perfection. A thing I also really love is that it's not just a Buddie fic, it has the firefam, Maddie and Eddie'sfamily involved in a way that's just natural.

♣️ The King's Tide by yawnralphio (@dearbuck) (WIP with Regular Updates)

A captain, his ship, her crew, and a secret with the power to ruin it all.

When his merchant transport vessel is boarded by the fearsome Captain Nash and the crew of the Spark, Eddie believes his time has come.

Buckck makes him an offer he can't refuse, and he finds himself tangled up in something much bigger than he planned for.

I have never read a pirate AU fic. I have never been interested in reading a pirate AUs. But this one changed my mind. The storytelling is amazing. This author paints images with their words, and they have built an amazing, nuanced world here. With every chapter, a question is answered, and a few arise, but it's handled so well you won't be impatient and confused half the time. The friendships, the relationships, here are beyond amazing too.

♣️ Tethers by red-to-black (@redtooblack) (WIP)

Eddie's spent years trying to find a place to call home with Christopher, hoping that Shannon will come back and then desperately hoping she wouldn't. He thinks he's in the clear when she shows up at his doorstep, demanding they get back together.

Eddie comes up with a foolproof plan: get a fake boyfriend, convince Shannon he's gay, and live happily ever after with his life mostly intact and Christopher safe and happy. Get rid of fake boyfriend when Shannon gives up, and life can resume as normal.

Enter Buck, and the plan goes to hell in a handbasket.

Where do I start with this fic? First of all, it's fake dating- which is a trope I love. But it's so, so much more than that. It shows both Eddie and Buck fighting their demons, and being good for each other. It shows two adults navigating a relationship in both a healthy and realistic way. The author incorporates Canon in this fic in an amazing, seamless way. Christopher and Buck's relationship in this is perfection. I have reread this fic about five times. Tempted to reread again, ngl.

Medium Length Fics (10-50k)

❄ Home, a series by hopeintheashes

Eddie, Buck, and Christopher figuring out how to be a family.

This series has two amazing sickfics and one WIP that shows how the team, and Buddie specifically, handle the pandemic. I love these works a lot, they're always in character, always realistic and tender, and Buck and Christopher's relationship shines through, as does the love between the Diaz boys.

❄ The Ghosts That You Haunt by JessicaMDawn

The first time Evan Buckley died, he was ten.

"Apparently that won me a ticket to ghost town, because I've been seeing them ever since."

Buck can see the recently dead. It's not as glamorous as people might think.

This AU is wonderful. It's not the typical character can see ghosts fics. It's so very emotional and angsty and it hits all the right spots. Buck is such an amazing character here. The emotions are vivid and beautiful and realistic. I LOVE it.

❄ Scratch and Burn by JessicaMDawn

Christopher scratches Buck during the tsunami, but the rest of the debris hurts a lot more and Buck thinks nothing of it. The next day, however, Buck experiences a lot of changes that he doesn't know how to handle. Luckily, Eddie is there to help him through it.

Not ABO. This Werewolf AU is perfection. I love Buck's relationship with both Eddie and Christopher here. I won't say more to not spoil it, but it truly is wonderful.

❄ Buy Back the Secrets by allysavedtheday (@littlespooneven )

After getting hurt on a call, Buck wakes up thinking it's 2018. AKA Buck can't remember who Eddie is but he's pretty sure everyone's lying when they say they're "just friends."

This fic is nothing short of perfection. Amnesia fics require a very delicate balance, and this one managed that perfectly. Misunderstandings, oblivious idiots in love, it has it all. The firedam's relationships with Buck is amazing, and they shine through here.

Short Fics (1-10k)

💭 one of these days you'll miss your train by allysavedtheday

“Buck?”

Whipping his head around, his eyes land on a face he hasn’t seen up close in almost a year.

“Eddie?” he gasps in disbelief, taking in the sight of Eddie’s rumpled appearance. His shirt is ripped, Buck can see scrapes on his forearms where his sleeves are pushed up, and he’s got a nasty gash across his forehead, blood trickling down into his eyebrow. But he’s looking at Buck like he’s a prayer and a miracle all wrapped into one. “Eddie!”

His brain finally catches up with his legs and he rushes forward just as Eddie all but collapses into his embrace.

“Thank god,” Eddie heaves out raggedly, fingers clutched tightly in the back of Buck’s turnout coat.

I absolutely love this concept of Eddie replacing Abby on the train. This fic is sweet, cute and emotional. The characters are all spot on and just- it's AMAZING.

💭 help my life (be worth your while), a series by iriswests

This series is a study in perfect pacing. It has pining, it has Eddie exploring his relationship with faith and it is possibly the perfect scenario for how these two can get together.

Tagging: @djdangerlove @alwaysablossom @miss-macca @iwonderifyouwonderaboutme @mazieken @captainbfresh @aliceschuyler

#buddie fic rec #aka me finally being able to fangirl over some of my favorites as I read and reread Buddie fics during the hiatus #buddie

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 3 years

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Dead Man’s Cell Phone--Prologue

Summary: When Emma Swan starts getting phone calls and texts from an unfamiliar number, she decides to check it out--only to discover the number belongs to a Killian Jones, who was killed in a robbery gone wrong six months ago. With some help from a medium, Merlin Emrys, Emma hopes to find out why a dead guy is contacting her--and why she feels such a strong pull to someone she has never met before.

Rating: K+

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 Epilogue

Welcome to my entry for the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer! A big thank you to @cssns, the ladies on the Discord! Thank you also to @eastwesthomeisbest, my artist and my beta @veryverynotgood!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Killian Jones took a deep breath, noting the salty tang of the sea breeze. The scent brought him comfort, a balm to his wounded soul. Some of his most treasured memories involved holidays to the sea with his mum. He remembered something his mum said to him on one such holiday ages and ages ago when he was naught but a tiny lad of four or five.

“You feel things so deeply, Killian,” she’d said, stroking his hair. “When you love, you love with your entire being. It’s a beautiful thing, and those you love are lucky indeed, but be careful. There will be heartache in your future, and when you lose someone you love, I fear it will hit you harder than most.”

He’d learned the truth of her statement less than a year later when she had succumbed to a fast moving, particularly virulent form of cancer. He’d been inconsolable for weeks, unable to understand why his mum had left him.

But life had gone on, and like many children, he’d proven to be resilient, turning to his older brother, his hero, Liam for help and support. He thanked the gods every day that Liam had never left him--either willingly like his deadbeat father or through death like his mother.

Love was rather rare in Killian’s life. He’d taken his mother’s words to heart, only giving his heart when he felt it was in safe keeping.

That was, until he met Milah.

She was beautiful, vibrant, full of life--and unfortunately quite married. Liam had warned him against getting involved with a woman who wasn’t free to give him her heart, but Killian was snared before he even fully understood what was happening. He had fallen hard and he had fallen fast, and he found he was helpless to resist the gorgeous woman who had captured his heart.

They were happy for a few months, so happy that they’d begun discussing forever. Milah had sworn she’d leave her husband, that she wanted to be with him. Killian had begun shopping for rings.

And then, as suddenly as it began, it all went to hell. She’d come to meet him one night looking as grave and uncomfortable as he’d ever seen her.

“Killian, I do love you,” she said, “but what we discussed in the past, I think we’ve always known they’re pipe dreams. Robert’s my husband, the father of my son. We were meant to be. I’m sorry, but I have to end this now. Robert got a new job across the country, and we both think it’s the perfect opportunity for us to make a go at this, to start fresh. I’m sorry, but this is goodbye.”

It hit him hard, so hard it felt like there was a physical weight on his chest. How did one pick up the pieces of their heart when it had been shattered into a fine powder? Liam had tried to be supportive, he really had, but Killian had known it was always on the tip of his tongue to tell Killian “I told you so.”

After a couple months of misery, Killian decided he’d had enough. He needed a change, even if it was no more than a few weeks’ vacation. And so he’d packed up and taken the first flight he could arrange from his home in England to the States. He’d rented a car and simply begun driving, deciding not to stop until he found somewhere that might offer him peace.

He found it in the small, quaintly named seaside town of Storybrooke, Maine. There was such a magical feel about this berg. It was a place he could perhaps run into that peace he’d been sadly lacking since…

Killian stopped abruptly as he collided with something, someone in front of him. He heard a swift, harsh, feminine curse, and looked up to find himself face to face with the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen - riotous blonde curls pulled up into a high ponytail, green eyes, currently narrowed in anger, a red leather jacket over a white tank top. Her jeans were so tight to her slim figure they looked painted on.

For a long moment, Killian could do nothing but stare, open-mouthed at the vision before him, so gobsmacked he could barely remember his own name.

The woman growled in frustration as she looked down at the grocery bag she’d dropped upon impact. “Seriously?” she asked. “You’re just gonna stand there like an idiot?”

Killian shook his head as he came back to himself, his cheeks reddening at his rudeness. “My apologies, love,” he said, stooping down to gather up the spilled contents of her bag. “It appears I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“You think?” she retorted with a roll of her eyes.

For a moment the two worked together while Killian desperately wracked his addled brain for something--anything--to say that might allow him to remain in this woman’s presence longer, but he was coming up blank.

“Well….thanks for your help,” she said finally, when the groceries were back in their bag.

“Thanks for letting me help,” he replied rather lamely.

“Yeah, well maybe next time you might pay a little more attention and avoid this kind of situation altogether,” she suggested as she pushed past him and quickly disappeared from his sight.

She might have disappeared from his sight, but she most assuredly did not disappear from his mind. Thoughts of the beautiful blonde followed him through the streets of Storybrooke as he made his way closer and closer to the beach.

So consumed was he with his chance encounter that he didn’t even realize he’d wandered into a seedy part of town until he heard the sounds around him.

The sounds of an altercation.

Killian looked up to see several big, burly men brutally beating a man with black hair and blue eyes. The man fought valiantly, but it was at least six to one. He didn’t stand a chance. Killian fished his cell phone from his pocket, intending to call the authorities, get some help, but he knew the victim before him didn’t have time to wait for police to arrive.

Killian had to intervene.

He charged into the fray, pulling first one, and then another ruffian from the man being beaten, but his efforts seemed to have no effect on the attackers.

No effect, that is, save to divert some of their wrath toward him. Killian grunted as the first blow landed on the side of his head, and he dropped his phone to the ground. He fought back with everything in him, pleased to note he’d gotten in a fair few punches of his own, but it soon became obvious that he was hopelessly outmanned.

Sometimes retreat was one’s only option.

Killian turned, hoping to find help for himself and for the other victim, but he’d only made it a few steps when he felt a sharp pain to the back of his head...and then everything went black.

Notes:

--Hi there and welcome to my story for the 2021 CSSNS! This story was kind of inspired by an experience I had. Most of the time if I get a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, I just let it go to voicemail, figuring if they really want to talk to me, they’ll leave a message (and if they’re a telemarketer...they won’t). One day I got a message from an unknown number, and they did leave a message. The message was basically nothing but dead air. For some reason, I decided to try to find out who the number belonged to, and I came to find out the number belonged to someone who had died six months ago. Now logically, that probably means someone else has the dead guy’s cell phone now, but it brought up the possibility of a new story. What if Emma got a phone call from Killian Jones, who she finds out died several months ago...and it isn’t a mistake? Thus this story was born.

--This story has 4 chapters plus this prologue and epilogue, and the good thing is that it’s already completely written. This means I can set (and stick to) a posting schedule! I plan to update this story every Wednesday and Sunday until it’s finished.

--Up next: Emma gets a strange phone call from an unknown number. What she finds out about it leads her on a journey that will completely change her life.

Next Chapter-->

#cssns #captain swan supernatural summer #cssns21 #my fanfiction #cs ghost story au #dead man's cell phone

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a-shakespearean-in-paris · 3 years

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Why Cullen?

Today I bring you a post I’ve been in the process of mentally drafting for a while, a post that essentially analyzes the age old question in the Dragon Age fandom: Why is there always something with Cullen?

To do this, I am going to go through different “phases” of Cullen discourse. My thesis and answering the titular question: It’s complicated, and I don’t think I can answer “Why Cullen,” but “there’s sometimes recycled discourses made about his character through the years, maybe there’s a pattern.” When it comes to Cullen’s detractors, I understand the fact that it might be frustrating to see much content for someone so “boring” when there’s more “interesting” and “well done” characters (though interest is of course relevant) so it leads to a lot of vitriol from both new and old fans who think the man had too much screen time already. Furthermore, he is highly complicated man dressed as a Disney prince, and the “Disney-esque” feel of his romance creates a dissonance between coming to terms with his problematic past and reveling in the romanticism. We can have a happy medium everyone, but because of what I can only describe as “tik tok thought” it’s become looked down upon to have problematic favorites, which leads to guilt in liking something problematic, or outright revisionism.

But liking things with problematic elements doesn’t make you a bad person.

Alright, let’s begin:

The first phase truly began of course with DAO with Cullen’s crush on the female Circle Mage Warden. Some were endeared, others not so much. I cannot speak to this phase too much as I was around 15-16 and pretty preoccupied with my high school drama instead of fandom, though I played both DAO and DA2 upon it’s release and followed updates for DA2 before it came out. Despite not being an active fandom member I was what they would call, a lurker. I knew some people liked Cullen and thought he was cute, wishing for more screen time after the game and hoping he’d be in DAI through IMDB message boards (remember those?) and YoutTube comments. When news broke he’d be an advisor in DAI and a romance option, I remember seeing a lot of people in those same spaces rejoice. I’m sure there were also people who weren’t so pleased, but from what I saw, people were happy. When Inquisition did release, I actually did quite a bit more lurking on tumblr despite the fact I didn’t have a blog, because I played the romance route, really gravitated toward it, and wanted to see fanart and such. People liked the romance, liked his arc and how Bioware handled his struggles with lyrium; and found it realistic. Even in my lurking days I did see some blowback on Cullen from detractors, those who didn’t think he should have been the military advisor (which canonically it makes total sense to me why he’s where he’s at, but I won’t get into it here however.) But likely because I wasn’t fully “in fandom,” my surface level understanding of how tumblr felt about Cullen was relatively positive and there was only standard fare discourse.

Phase 2: I can speak about this phase better because I established this blog in 2017. Two years after DAI was released, you still had a lot of fans who loved his romance and character, but you also saw a lot of those fans really dive into his flaws, insisting even that just focusing on the Disney Prince aspects of him reduced his character. There were also more internal debates. Would realistically Cullen be a good father was one. One thing however was for sure, there was a strange them and us line between detractors and fans, and to many fans, myself included, oftentimes the Cullen blowback would extend beyond the valid, “hey I don’t think his characterization was handled well” or “his redemption arc isn’t that great” to outright vitriolic hate that blatantly ignored his PTSD and lyrium addiction, and even sometimes “you just like Cullen because he’s white.” As a POC fan it was a fantastic thing to be accused of. I used to be more involved with discord during this period and I remember a few discussions about this as well. Even those indifferent to Cullen didn’t get it.

Overall, I have to say the air was one where people in Cullen fandom enjoyed all aspects of him, from delving into this troubled past to indulging in the Disney prince aspects of him. It was a happy medium I think, even if occasionally I would see a Cullen fan feel bad for liking him, and feel like they needed to justify it. Heck I even did and still do feel that way sometimes, like I need to justify what I like. But we all come into fandom for different reasons. I come into fandom some days for different things. Sometimes I want smut with my favorite character, other times I want more intense thought pieces and challenging fics. Great thing about fandom is that it’s a bakery that has cherry tarts, cinnamon rolls, or all kinds of pie depending on your mood. Craving a different sweet treat, you can make your own. Or you can commission an artist or writer for something you fancy.

*(sexual assault mentions here late in the paragraph****)And now I’ve been warped back into Cullen/DA fandom through what I am calling phase three, where the general air on Cullen reads as….very different. After having one foot outside DA fandom for a while coming back and reading the air has been different. There was the bizarre nuggetgate and other things with Cullen. Now, instead of accepting his flaws and exploring him there seems to be a lot of revisionism going on, as if his past never happened or we’re supposed to ignore he was a templar. A sexually active Cullen is looked down upon but in a different way from before. Instead of smut works with him “reducing his complicated character.” it’s distasteful to write smut with him where he’s sexually dominant or even just a lot of smut because he was sexually assaulted. (***Now, it is implied that he was, if you are a female Circle mage in DAO, with “sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have” but this is an implication. I will be honest, it is what I have implied. However, it’s not there if you’re not a female Mage. He was however canonically sexually harassed in the Winter Palace, something I will always argue, even if canon treats it like a joke, even if Leliana tells him to “just look pretty.” Just because he is a man doesn’t make it funny that someone grabbed his bottom, and if you take Cole he flat out says “Cullen is afraid.”***)

So here I am, wondering what changed and what’s going on. Here’s what I believe: Cullen is a complicated character and his flaws and his past make him interesting to me, and they are interesting to explore. However there is nothing wrong with wanting to just explore a romantic, sexual Cullen. He’s a character with many facets. He’s romantic, determined, nostalgic, stubborn, unrelenting, loyal, driven, all things that made him seem so real. Here we get to my theory: in today’s media “criticisms” I see people—particularly younger people—beat themselves up for liking something problematic. It’s like every time you engage with media that’s potentially problematic you have to write essays to yourself why it is so and hold yourself accountable. I see this on tik-tok a lot and why I refer to it as “tik tok thought.” Look at the way some young Hamilton fans talk about the musical, or heck even here, and you may see what I mean. It’s like if you don’t acknowledge the problematic aspects of the historical figures behind their fictional portrayals in the show you’re a bad person. Same thing with nostalgic Disney fans my age in younger, if you don’t clown on Ariel for “choosing a man over anything” (SHE LIKED THE SURFACE WORLD BEFORE SHE MET ERIC) you don’t get your brownie points.

I want to make it clear: being critical of media is good. I am glad I see young people and people my age think about the messages we are given in media, but somehow this is turned into ANALYZE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Ya’ll I’m a grad student. I’m critical most of the time, when I come to my tumblr blog’s lawn I’m here mostly to have some fun, and hey sometimes my fun is being critical. But sometimes it isn’t. You do not have to always be critical. You do not have to beat yourself up for liking something that’s problematic or write an essay about why it is as if that’s your due diligence in stanning a fictional character. I’m going to be honest I used to kind of think I had to justify my likes once, especially because of the Cullen vitriol on tumblr. I worked overtime in my early fanfic efforts to try to prove to the world I knew Cullen was problematic for fear I’d be perceived as just an idiot horny fangirl. Well, let me tell you: I largely don’t think that way anymore. If I want to just enjoy writing some smut or reading some smut with him, I am. But I think there is a second part of this in Cullen fandom currently, a revisionism of his problematic elements. Now, if you have to do mental gymnastics with a character in an effort to ignore problematic elements, perhaps you don’t like the character that much. That’s totally okay. DA has many awesome characters to write about and stan.

So, why Cullen? For so many reasons a bit of a shit show has always followed this character. There’s a divide between fans and his detractors and sometimes there’s a divide within the Cullen fandom. What I can extrapolate for now is the need to keep him squeaky clean and safe and away from anything “problematic” because his of past, his templar roots, or the fact that he’s white when there are POC characters with less content. It reads as a guilt associated with liking him. But please, do not be guilty. He’s not real. Templars aren’t real, mages aren’t real, Cullen isn’t real. Here’s my advice, something I learned while in my directing class in college. What my teacher always said was direct what turns you on, direct a story that gets you thinking, gets you excited. What gets you thinking and excited in a fictional world may be tons of conflict and dramatics, or it may be peace and love. Sometimes it can be both or more. Don’t shame others for coming to a bakery and wanting blueberry when you want cherry, and the baker has both, especially if the baker labels each pie, especially if the recipe for the pie has some salt in it and people like the salt. We can have it all and enjoy it all. What we want in our fiction doesn’t always align with something we may want real life. Lots of people write Modern girl in Thedas stories. Ya’ll if that actually happened to one of us it would probably suck. I’d probably get killed and not even get to meet Cullen and pose around the desk to get things going, so I’d rather it not happen. However, it is fun to read about.

Again, don’t be guilty for liking Cullen, please. But if you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to like Cullen, maybe you don’t like him at all. To that I say, there are many other amazing characters, or perhaps you could write your own.

#fandom critical #I spent too long on this #deleted a lot #but now it's written and I can move on #Cullen rutherford

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 4 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: brief mentions of death

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 4: Cornflowers Means ‘Delicacy’

Thomas felt as if he’d gotten Martha’s blessing to pursue Alex. He had wanted to before, but he’d felt guilty towards her, so instead he had riled the other up and argued with him.

But now…

With their tentative friendship evolving every day, the sudden email reminding him to keep living seemed like a sign. Maybe that was stupid, but Thomas was going to cling to it. Though he had to figure out how to work up the courage to flirt first.

He was absolutely hopeless at the whole thing. He’d started bribing Alex with food, making sure the other ate lunch everyday as a way in.

It was a slow process, but yesterday Alex had shown up at his office with a bag with two bagels in it when Thomas had gotten lost in his work and forgotten the time. He’d shrugged: “Seemed only fair to chip in myself for a change.”

Instead of using it as a way to thank him or something, Thomas had made a joke about Alex finally stopping with mooching off him, which had only earned him a small shove, before they had started an argument about the usefulness of the hole in the middle of a bagel.

Thomas was close to ripping his hair out in frustration.

Martha had flirted with him, he had never done this. He had no clue what he should be doing and James was absolutely no help. When he had asked him the man had simply said: “Too aroace, Tom.”

So now he was going to the one other person who could help him with this, but by God did he dread it.

“Hi, Thomas, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hello, Angie,” he replied, holding up a bottle of red wine, “Can I embarrass myself again and have you tell me I’m stupid before helping me?”

Angelica grinned: “With love. Here, come in.”

Thomas came in and dropped the wine on the kitchen counter of her apartment, before throwing himself on the couch with a groan. That earned him an eyeroll from Angelica, who poured them both a glass of wine, before pushing his legs of the couch and sitting down.

“Pizza and a romcom?” she asked, phone already in hand.

“Yeah, let’s be fully trashy,” Thomas agreed.

“You love trashy.”

“I truly do.”

Angelica ordered the pizza and waited for Thomas to leave behind the shelter of a pillow. He finally did and took a large gulp of his wine, before he said: “I don’t know how to flirt.”

“What?” out of all the things, Angelica had not seen that coming, but the realization hit her: “Oh my God are you trying to shoot your shot with Alex?”

“Maybe?” his voice was unsure and small and Angelica was living.

“Are you for real?” she exclaimed, “Tell me everything! Leave out no details. Holy fuck, this is great.”

“Glad you’re enjoying yourself,” he said miserably.

“You can’t just ask me about advise to flirt with a guy, whom you’ve been crushing on for years while claiming you were never going to go after it and expect me to not get excited about it, Thomas. I mean come on, what changed?”

“I mean, me and Alex are kind of friends now and then-” he hesitated, unsure if he wanted to tell Angelica about the email from Martha, “then I got a reminder- it’s a long story.”

“Tell me,” Angelica demanded.

“You remember Alex brought Philip with him to work?” Thomas began.

“Yeah, that was four months ago, though.”

“Well, me and Alex talked and I told him about Martha, because Philip had told me about John, remember that?” he asked.

Angelica nodded.

“He called me,” Thomas went on, “It was John’s birthday and he was struggling and I had told him he could always talk to me and stuff, so he did. We bought Philip a Halloween costume and then we went to John’s grave so that he could show it to him.”

“Oh shit,” Angelica took a big gulp of her wine, “That’s a lot heavier than I was expecting, sorry. I didn’t know that part, he told us he handled John’s birthday well.”

“I mean, he did, sort off,” Thomas said, “Don’t let him know you know, I don’t know if he wanted me to tell you. But in the end it was a good day.”

“John loved Halloween.”

“Thought so, Alex mentioned Philip getting excited about his costume,” Thomas told her.

Angelica cringed in sympathy.

“Anyway, we spend John’s birthday together and after that it was different in the office and stuff and I brought him lunch-”

“You brought him lunch!”

“He had forgotten, what was I supposed to do? Was that weird?” Thomas sounded scared, Alex hadn’t seem to mind and he did it after. WouldAlex be mad at him?

“No, no, not bad,” Angelica quickly assured him, “Just sweet.”

“Then why did you react like that?” Thomas hissed, stress outing itself.

“Because I haven’t seen Alex eat in break room since forever,” Angelica replied, “He deflects every time I asked, we were already planning an intervention or something.”

“Oh,” Thomas didn’t know what to say to that, “Well, you don’t, he’s been eating fine.”

“Thank God for that, Eliza can be scary.”

Thomas huffed out a laugh at that, before proceeding: “So, I brought him lunch and he thanked me and said that I could call him if needed too.”

“How precious.”

“So I did,” Thomas decided that after sharing about John’s birthday to Angelica it would only be fair to tell her about himself as well, “Because Martha had send me an email – it was a site thing, send emails to the future and stuff – and, well, that was an unexpected punch to the gut.”

“Are you okay, Tommy?” Angelica’s brows were concerned, “I didn’t hear you about it.”

“It’s fine, Angie,” he assured her, “Me and Alex watched movies all day and just reminisced about her, it was nice. But in the email, Martha told me to move on from her.”

“She knows you too well,” Angelica smiled softly, she had known Martha herself and had seen first hand how devastated Thomas was after her death.

“Yeah, so that’s what I’ve been trying to do for the past few months, but I. Can’t. Flirt,” he fell back dramatically once more.

“God, you’re hopeless,” Angelica said, “Luckily I am here to save you, I am the best wingwoman known to man.”

“I hope you’re right, because being friends with Alex is killing me. Do you know how cute that motherfucker can be?” Thomas told her, “He has these big ass smiles and these little giggles and they are designed to kill me.”

Angelica smiled fondly, slight hurt in her eyes as a different person with the same complaints flashed in front of her eyes.

The bell rang and Angelica quickly got their pizzas before she sat down to form a game plan, which she privately named ‘Plan Jamilton’.

“Okay, so first up, what is a regular day with Alex like? So an office day, but then I don’t have to hear about your boring meetings unless Alex is involved,” she asked.

“I get in, he’s usually in the break room getting coffee, we talk – well, argue, but not mean – about whatever, we work, we eat lunch, then work some more, then I tell him to home if it’s not Tuesday or Friday, because he goes home earlier on those day, because he has to get Philip from school,” Thomas listed, then shrugged: “Meetings are still the same.”

“Huh, is that why I couldn't find him last Tuesday?”

“Yeah, normally Philip gets picked up by one of his Aunts or Un- you know that, sorry,” Thomas cut himself off.

“I know the others pick Philip up from time to time and that Alex hires a babysitter, I didn’t know there was a pattern,” Angelica confessed, “I’m more the fun Aunt that shows up from time to time with presents, Eliza is more the overly involved Aunt, but that’s fair since Philip was in her for nine months.”

“Touche.”

“Anyways, you and Alex seem to talk a few times during the day. Morning and lunch and before he goes home, all good opportunities,” she suggested.

“I’m aware, but then I’d have to know what to say, don’t I, Angie,” Thomas pointed out.

“Alex is a natural flirter, give him a push and he’ll do most of the work.”

“But then what do I do? How do I react to him flirting? That’ll be bad for my soul,” Thomas whined.

“Think of it like banter, you two do it all the time,” Angelica rolled her eyes, “Just maybe make it a bit more suggestive here and there, add innuendos. I think you can manage that.”

“And what if Alex thinks it’s weird or if he’s just doing it because he’s flirty?” Thomas worried, “I mean, you said it yourself that he’s naturally flirty, what if he doesn’t think anything of it and then I am the weird one and he hates me.”

“He’s not going to hate you, you idiot,” Angelica rolled her eyes, “He likes you.”

“What? How do you know that?” Thomas needed answers and he needed them now.

“Technically, I don’t, but-”

“Then you have no ground to stand on and I shouldn’t risk it.”

“Let me talk, Thomas Jefferson,” the full name shut him up, “As I wanted to say: Technically, I don’t know for sure if he likes you, but he has stopped complaining about you and last week he said you might have shit ideas on company policy, but you had great taste in classical writers. He loves classical writers. That’s huge for him.”

“That’s hardly anything, Angie.”

“And Laf asked me what was up between you two,” Angelica played her ace.

“Laf thinks there is something up between us two?” Thomas took the bait as predicted, hopeful puppy eyes that shouldn’t be adorable on a 6’3, grown man.

“Yeah, he said – and I quote – Hm, did you notice anything off between mon petit lionand our dear Thomas, those two seems to be getting closer,non?”

“Your French accent is horrible.”

“Not the focus, Tommy. The focus is that he wiggled his brows about it.”

“He wiggled his brows?”

“Yes, he only does that if he is super certain of his observations or if he knows something. I’m still figuring out which one it is,” Angelica informed him.

“So maybe Alex said something to him?” Thomas suggested.

“Maybe, but you’d have to ask him.”

“I’m not going to ask him.”

“Why not?”

“Because he is a nosy Frenchman, who doesn’t know when to stop meddling and he’ll embarrass me in front of Alex, I’m sure of it,” Thomas whined.

“He’s not that bad, Thomas. Get over yourself,” Angelica told him, taking a bite out of her pizza slice.

“No, one time I told him I was considering celebrating my birthday and he threw me a huge surprise party – granted, it was sweet of him, but also no, not for me – with like a live band and stuff. It was way too much.”

“Okay, so maybe not ask Laf directly,” Angelica conceded.

Thomas eyes suddenly lit up with inspiration and he exclaimed: “You could ask him!”

“No!” Angelica protested immediately.

“Why not?” Thomas was pleading now, “For me.”

“Because then he’ll know for suresomething is up and talk to either you or Alex and then your whole plan will still be ruined,” Angelica explained, “You just need to trust me and flirt with Alex. I swear it will be fine.”

“But what if it isn’t?”

“Then I’ll get you ice cream and chew out Alex,” she promised.

“I hate it when you make a point,” Thomas complained.

“And I hate eating without playing a movie, we both make sacrifices,” Angelica rolled her eyes, completely unimpressed as she took another bite of her pizza, almost as if to make a point.

In the end they did watch a movie. It was a shitty romcom, as promised, and every time someone flirted Angelica rated it and advised for or against the method. Thomas wasn’t sure if he wanted to strangle or hug her.

He still didn’t say anything for almost a week and a half, until he found himself in the printer room with Alex.

“Honestly, Thomas, you can’t possibly think that saying a cloud and rain are the same makes any sense,” Alex rolled his eyes, pushing some buttons on the printer.

“No, just think about it, okay? Clouds are water, rain is also water, correct?” Alex grudgingly agreed, “A cloud is basically water floating around until it gets cold and falls, so therefore rain is basically just a cloud falling.”

Alex paused, processing his words, before he said: “Oh my God, shut up.”

“Make me,” Thomas had been so caught up about winning their argument that he hadn’t even thought before letting the slightly suggestive words slip out.

Now they both paused. Thomas looked shocked at his own words and Alex studied him curiously, his eyes scanning him up and down, before he smirked and asked: “Is that a threat or a promise, Tommy? Because you really shouldn’t say things you can’t deliver on.”

Then he grabbed his papers and left Thomas gaping like a fish on dry land as he tried to process the entire interaction.

Alex was internally panicking as he hightailed out of the room, hoping to leave Thomas before the man had gathered his wits again. Sure, Thomas might have started it, but Alex had taken it a level further.

He’d wanted to flirt with Thomas, but they only just started to be friendly. Well, maybe not just, but it wasn’t as if they had stopped being rivals that long ago.

It was just…

It was just that Philip had really liked Thomas, he was still sometimes asking about how Mr. Thomas was doing. And the man had done so much for him on John’s birthday. And he had looked so vulnerable with the email and Alex had never seen that side of him and his stupid crush was developing at an alarming rate. And he didn’t want to acknowledge it or make it real, but…

Butnow he might have made it weird.

Fuck, what was he going to do? Oh, wait, Eliza was picking up Philip today – normally he would do it, but school ended early that day so Eliza had offered – and it was after lunch, so he wouldn’t see Thomas today and he could talk to her and have a plan tomorrow.

With that in mind, he tried to forget about the whole incident and work till the end of the day, losing himself in his work and hoping he wouldn’t run into Thomas.

He left at five on the dot and at half past five he was knocking on Eliza’s door. She opened, but before she could say anything he blurted out: “I flirted with Thomas today. I think he started it, but now I’m thinking it might have been me.”

She blinked, then blinked again, before she pulled him into the house: “Tell me everything. Is this the great Mr. Thomas Philip was telling me about? The one you’ve been crushing on and didn’t tell me and I had to hear about from Herc?”

“Maybe?” he squeaked.

He and Philip ended up eating dinner with her and Maria and afterwards Maria watched a movie with Philip, sending them a knowing look that made Alex blush.

Alex had known Eliza since Freshman year in college. He and her had hit it off right away, even dated for a while, but then John had taken a break from the army to study and- well, they just found they were only dating to prove something to themselves.

The point was Alex told Eliza everything. She’d been the first to know he fancied John, had helped him pick an outfit for their first date, had been there for ring shopping and wedding planning. She had carried Philip for nine months for Pete’s sake.

Yet he had hesitated with telling her about Thomas.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but if he told her it would be real, because telling her made it real and he was scared of this being real.

But now it was going to be real.

It was going to be real because Thomas had said something slightly suggestive and Alex had taken that as a sign to blatantly flirt with the man. It was going to be real, because he was going to tell Eliza.

Fuck.

He started up slowly, hesitating about certain parts, what to say and what not, but in the end the words started to flow out of him like they always did.

Alex told Eliza about how he’d thought Thomas was attractive, but had pushed that down with the personality, but then he’d been nice to Philip and that had stirred something inside him again. He told her about John’s birthday, the endless jokey lunch discussions, Martha’s email, how he the feelings had been building up until he had blurted out his comment that day.

All throughout Eliza just listened and nodded along until his word vomit session was over and he just sat there and breathed.

“It sounds to me,” she began carefully, “like you really like Thomas and that he is a good influence on you. And if I understood correctly, he has proven himself to be willingly involved with Pip. He sounds like a catch, ‘Lexi.”

“He is,” Alex sighed with a smile, then slightly sadder he added, “I just don’t know what to do. I might have scared him off today.”

“Come on, don’t be so deprecating. I knew you in college, you can woo him,” Eliza encouraged him teasingly.

“Wow, thanks, ‘Liza,” he huffed.

“I’m serious, ‘Lexi. You can flirt and you know it, you’re a charmer if you want to be, when you’re not, you know, forcing people to have opinions they need to defend,” she said, “Though, Thomas already knows that, since-” she gestured vaguely, “since you two do that.”

Alex laughed at that, before he turned more serious: “What if I fuck this up, Betsy? What if I do something wrong? What if Pip gets hurt by this? I don’t know how I’d live with myself if this hurts him.”

He only called her Betsy if he was really worried about something.

“Hey, Alexander, look at me,” if he was calling her Betsy, she was pulling out full names, “You’re not going to fuck this up, you just need to be patient for a moment.”

“Have you been hanging around Burr?” Alex groaned.

Eliza rolled her eyes at him: “No and just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they can’t have a point.”

“He should have points, ‘Liza, that’s the entire point,” Alex told her.

“I am not having this discussion with you right now, we were focusing on something else,” she knew deflection when she saw it, “We were talking about Thomas and you wooing him.”

“What? Do you have a battle plan or something?”

“Of course I have.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

“You could stand to mention it more,” she smiled, “Now, you are flirty, which is great everyone will say that you are. He knows Laf, he’ll ask if he’s curious and Laf is how we keep tabs on him. Trust me, he will come talking if Thomas ever asks him anything like that.”

Alex laughed: “Remember when Herc said he had a date and Laf showed up at the restaurant in a disguise to check on her, because she had ‘weird vibes’?”

Eliza snorted and nodded at the memory, before moving on: “So we have a route of communication, sort of, to tell how the flirting is received. If it’s good, you can ask him out. If not, well, I have ice cream and a shoulder to cry on.”

“Betsy, you are the best of women, honestly. If you weren’t so gay, I’d marry you,” he told her with a grin.

“Like I said, you’re a charmer,” she ruffled his hair, before ushering him and Philip – who had been elated about the later bedtime – out the door while reminding him to tell her everything from now on.

He left with that promise to her and a lighter heart.

The next day started like any other, with Thomas finding Alex in the break room like nothing had happened. For a moment Thomas worried the other was going to pretend that nothing had been said, crumbling his resolve to start flirting today.

“Hi, Alex,” he decided on his normal greeting, just to test the room.

Alex turned and smiled – it was that stupid bright smile that did things to Thomas – then said: “Hi, you’re looking good today? New pants?”

They weren’t new and Thomas knew that Alex knew that, because it was an outfit he’d worn many times. The comment eased some of his anxiety about this as he replied: “No, but glad you’re finally appreciating my impeccable sense of style.”

The eyeroll Alex gave him couldn't have been stopped even if he tried, so he just winked: “Nah, you still dress overly colored. Maybe I can help you find a better sense of style. Those pants would have to come off for that, though.”

Then he sashayed away like he hadn’t left Thomas blushing, pouring coffee over his hand because he wasn’t paying attention to the coffeepot.

And for the next few daysit continued like this. Their arguments that had turned into banter had now turned into flirting.

They were dancing around each other like teenagers afraid to be rejected for prom and the whole office had probably caught onto it. Alex was sure of that with all the looks knowing they were getting.

This was confirmed when Washington made him stay after a meeting in which some flirty comments had slipped into their debate, he raised a brow at Alex and asked: “What happened to the ‘nothing like that, sir’?”

Alex blushed heavily and squeaked: “Back then it wasn’t.”

“So it is like that now?”

“Sir,” it was a whine and Alex would deny it later.

“Alex,” Washington just replied, completely nonplussed.

“Ugh,” Alex groaned, this softly said: “Maybe? Not yet. I don’t know.”

“Well, Thomas is a good man, be kind to him,” Washington told him, a slight warning in his tone, before he got protective, “And be careful with yourself too, son.”

“I’m not-” Alex cut off the standard reply, because it was really not true at this point, so instead he nodded: “I will, thank you, sir.”

Washington send him away with some paperwork and an order not to stay late again and Alex promised he wouldn’t, because he was picking up Philip today and he had promised the kid they could go to a park after school.

Philip was so excited to see him and Alex pushed him on a swing and caught him when he wanted to jump off.

During dinner Philip asked: “How is Mr. Thomas? He was nice, why doesn’t he come around again? He came that one time and you are friends now, right? Why doesn’t he come around like Uncle Herc and Uncle Laf do?”

“It’s a bit complicated, Pip,” Alex said after a moment, “Me and Thomas are friends, but it just never flowed like that.”

“You always says I can change my own path, why can’t you?” God, sometimes Pip was too smart for his own good.

“I’ll see if he wants to come to movie night with your Uncles and Aunties. Does that sound fun?” he might regret this, but the look on Pip’s face was worth it.

He didn’t approach Thomas directly, with all the flirting he didn’t want it to come across as asking for a date. If he was going to ask Thomas, he was going to ask it better than that. Instead he approached Angelica: “Hey, Angie, can I ask you something?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“For movie night, I, uhm, well, I wanted to ask Thomas to come, but that’s weird, because it would be me asking, so I wanted to ask if you could invite him to come along?” Alex hoped she would say yes.

Angelica smiled pleasantly and Alex dreaded her answer: “Why is it weird when you do it?”

“Come on, Angie,” Alex whined, “I’m sure you and Eliza gossip about me. You know what this is about. If I ask him out, I’ll do it differently than a group movie night, because Pip wanted to see him again.”

“You’re gonna ask him out?” Angelica asked excitedly.

Alex cursed his stupid mouth and said: “Maybe. It’s still new and stuff, but eventually, yeah, it’s the plan at least. Don’t tell him though, please.”

Angelica cooed: “You are too cute. I won’t tell, don’t worry.”

“Will you ask him?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you,” maybe there was a bit too much force in the words, but Alex didn’t care.

That Friday Alex was more anxious about movie night than he had any right to be. It was usually hosted at his house so that he could put Pip to bed on time, before they watched non-kid movies, though everyone had a soft spot for the animated movies.

He had checked everything over multiple times and the only thing distracting him was Philip’s latest car parkour.

Herc arrived first, sweeping his nephew into his arms and being a calming enough presence that Alex had relaxed by the time Eliza and Maria along with Peggy showed up.

Then Angelica arrived with Thomas in tow. He greeted Alex awkwardly: “Sorry, is this okay? Angie said it was, but I don’t want to intrude.”

Luckily Alex didn’t have to answer, because Philip came running: “Mr. Thomas! Mr. Thomas, I have started keeping my drawings in this book and it’s already pretty full, do you want to see? We’re going to watch Mulantonight? Have you seen Mulanbefore? Did you like it?”

Thomas smiled: “Hey, kiddo, how about one question at a time? I’d love to see your drawings.”

Philip cheered and dragged Thomas away, who send Alex an apologetic look, though Alex didn’t mind having the pressure of him. He was distracted by Angelica: “That went well.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you dork, it’s going fine,” Angelica assured him, “Now, I want something to drink. Do you have popcorn?”

Lafayette arrived last. By the time he came knocking they had all the snacks set out and the movie was waiting. He bustled in: “Bonjour, Bonjour, sorry I’m late. There was traffic and I was sleeping.”

“Uncle Laf!” Philip was off the couch and at Laf’s side in seconds, these nights would always make him excited enough that he dropped off early.

“Ah, mon petit neveu, how are you?” Laf hugged him tightly.

Philip babbled excitedly: “I’m going to become an artist. I showed Mr. Thomas my drawing book and he says they’re really good and my teacher says so as well.”

“Mr. Thomas?” Laf asked, he hadn’t been around often lately with his job keeping him busy and traveling. He had seen something was up, but he hadn’t gotten the note that the two were doing something about it and he hadn’t heard Philip about it yet either.

From the couch Thomas spoke up: “Hi, Lafayette. How was your week? Heard they needed you back in Paris?”

“Thomas! What une surprise!” Laf said and they had a conversation, which was more an interrogation how he’d ended up here. Alex saved Thomas by telling the nosy Frenchman that they were worked together on his financial plan and Thomas was not so bad ‘yes, Laf just like you said, I know.’

Movie night went great, they watched Mulan first and Philip kept asking Thomas questions throughout the entire movie, which Thomas answered dutifully. This amused the other adults greatly.

By the end the excitement had died down and Philip was nodding off. Alex left Eliza in charge of refilling the snacks, while he got Pip ready for bed.

When he got back the only spot left was right next to Thomas, he suppressed an eyeroll at his friends antics and sat down, knowing Laf would be all over this when the night was over. But for now he didn’t care.

He and Thomas had watched movies together before, albeit under different circumstances, but it was nothing new. Though he had forgotten how warm Thomas was and – now that he thought about it – he was kind of tired.

Slowly he slid sidewards throughout their viewing of The Patriotuntil he was leaning on Thomas’s shoulder, fighting to keep his eyes open. In the distance he felt something shift and the he slid further, a warm arm resting over him before he drifted off completely.

When he awoke it was dark and he was tucked in on the couch, cold and alone.

He sat up in confusion until his eye fell on a note in a familiar cursive handwriting that was too pretty to belong to someone in this century. It read: You fell asleep. We thought it better to let you be. Thanks for inviting me, I had fun. Sleep tight. x, T.

And honestly that little ‘x’ shouldn’t have made Alex blush. He looked up to a picture of John and whispered: “My dear Laurens, I think I’ve fallen in too deep already.”

The picture didn’t reply, instead John’s smiling face stayed static, but Alex still found it comforting to have John looking at him with something akin to encouragement. John would want him to be happy, he had always tried to do what he thought to be best for Alex, for Pip.

“You’re right, Jacky, I shouldn’t be dancing around this,” he said, “It’s just hard. And I’m scared,” he huffed a laugh, “Isn’t that ironic? After everything I’ve been through the great Alexander Hamilton is scared of asking someone on a date.”

He paused for a moment then said: “Don’t look at me like that, you asked me on our first date, you rash motherfucker. Don’t think I’ve forgotten you springing it on me when I was almost collapsing after finishing a paper. I got you with marriage, though, so even-Steven.”

It was comforting to talk to a picture of John, it was different when talking to his grave, less heavy when not surrounded by stones. Was it probably slightly strange? Yes. But Alex had been strange his entire life.

“Maybe I should be a bit rash for once, pick up your slack,” he told John, ignoring that his friends always said that they were both too rash and it was bad for their health that the two of them got along so well, “I think I’m doing it.”

That weekend he made a plan, had to double check something with Philip and worry-rant at Eliza, she was a great listener, he truly loved her.

Then Monday morning it was time, God he was nervous as he waited at Thomas’s office, where the man usually dropped his stuff before starting his day.

“Hey, uhm, this might be weird, but Pip told me about the vase in your office and if I remember correctly it was empty Friday, so I got you these,” Alex held up a bouquet of purple flowers, “It’s- they’re cornflowers, I hope I remembered correctly.”

Thomas took them, a bit stunned, his eyes slightly sparkling.

“I looked up their meaning. They mean ‘delicacy’, but also ‘be gentle with me’ and I thought that very fitting, because you’re – this is sound weird – but you’re very cute in an ‘I want to protect you’-way,” Alex was stumbling over his words, “But it’s also a request – the ‘be gentle with me’-part, I mean –because-” he swallowed and hesitated, “Well, you see, I- I was wondering if you- you would like to go on a- uhm, on a date. With me. This Friday. If you want. You don’t have to of course, maybe I’ve read this whole thing wrong and that’s fine, but if you do want to then I’ll be happy- more than happy, actually-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I’d love to go on a date with you this Friday,” Thomas told him, blush coloring his cheeks and a bashful smile tugging on his lips.

Alex grinned the grin that did things to Thomas as he replied: “That’s- Yeah, great, I- uhm, I’ll text you details?”

“Yeah, okay. Then I’ll go put these in water. Thank you, Alex, they’re beautiful,” Thomas walked away, flowers in hand, planning to yell at Angelica through the phone.

Bit of a more lighthearted chapter after all the grief and angst lmao

Also, always lovely when I get to the part of ‘and now they flirt’ only to realize that I do not know how to flirt and I have no clue how to write it. Ooof. So shout out to time skips xp

Side note: this → “well, they just found they were only dating to prove something to themselves.” is not invalidating the fact that Alex is bi, just that Eliza wanted to prove to herself that she wasn’t a raging homosexual while Alex wanted to prove to himself that he wasn’t in love with John.

Also I thought it was very funny that they thought to use Laf to keep track of the other, only for both to tell him absolutely nothing

#RR writing #tw: grief mention #Alexander Hamilton #Hamilton #Hamilton AU #Jamilton #thomas jefferson #angelica schuyler #eliza schuyler #Philip Hamilton #Lafayette #marquis de lafayette #george washington #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 4 #'Till Death Do Us Part AU

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zoinkshaggy · 3 years

Photo

BASIC QUESTIONS

First name? “Sha– uh, Norville.”

Surname? “Rogers.”

Middle names? “Matthew.”

Nicknames? “Shaggy.”

Date of birth? “November 4th, 1995.”

Age? “Twenty five.”

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

Height? “6′0.”

Weight? “150-ish.”

Build? “Uh, long.”

Hair color? “Brown.”

Hair style? “I had dreads for awhile, but now I keep my hair short. Not short. Medium length, I guess.”

Eye color? “Also brown.”

Eye Shape? “Like, normal?”

Glasses or contact lenses? “Neither.”

Distinguishing facial features? “I’d say probably my smile.”

Which facial feature is most prominent? “Smile.”

Which bodily feature is most prominent? “My legs and arms, ‘cause they’re, like, twenty feet long.”

Other distinguishing features? “That’s it.”

Skin? “Oilier than I’d like.”

Hands? “Callused.”

Make up? “I don’t wear any.”

Scars? “Nothing important.”

Birthmarks? “Nah.”

Tattoos? “No! Needles? No thank you!”

Physical handicaps? “None.”

Type of clothes? “I really like sweaters. Sweaters will always be my favorite. They feel safe. It’s a little too hot for that here, though.”

How do you wear your clothes? “How they come.”

What are your feet like? “Kind of big, I guess. Two left feet, that’s what my mom said ‘cause I’m such a klutz. Uh, I should buy some more socks and shoes. Some of my socks have toe holes and my shoes are kind of coming apart.”

Race / Ethnicity? “I don’t have my birth parents around to ask, but I know I’m Spanish.”

Mannerisms? “I have a habit of, like, playing with my necklace or hair or bracelet — my hands don’t always like being still.”

Are you in good health? “It’s alright, I think.”

Do you have any disabilities? “No.”

PERSONALITY

What words or phrases do you overuse? “Like. I use it, like, a lot.”

Do you have a catchphrase? “Zoinks.”

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? “I definitely think I’m more optimistic, but I have my moments.”

Are you introverted or extroverted? “Introverted.”

Do you ever put on airs? “I… don’t know what that means.”

What bad habits do you have? “Overeating, not eating healthy. Sleeping in too late. Chewing my nails, only sometimes.”

What makes you laugh out loud? “Usually myself.”

How do you display affection? “My idea of affection is kind of, just, hanging around someone. Hugs can be nice too.”

Mental handicaps? “My anxiety.”

How do you want to be seen by others? “A person they came come to and trust.”

How do you see themselves? “Better than I used to be.”

How are you seen by others? “Probably… nervous.”

Strongest character trait? “My loyalty.”

Weakest character trait? “Getting stuck in my head.”

How competitive are you? “Not at all.”

Do you make snap judgements or take time to consider? “Like, I take too much time to consider.”

How do you react to praise? “I don’t know what to say. I guess I get kind of flustered, you know?”

How do you react to criticism? “Just kind of shrug it off.”

What is your greatest fear? “Ghosts, spiders, heights, bees, guns... losing Scooby.”

What are your biggest secrets? “I don’t really keep secrets.”

What is your philosophy of life? “We’re all just here for a little while, so we should make it easier on each other.”

When was the last time you cried? “It’s been a few months, actually.”

What haunts you? “Zoinks. Hopefully not any ghosts.”

What are your political views? “I don’t pay enough attention to politics to have any views, really. I’ll vote for whoever Velma votes for. She knows what she’s talking about.”

What will you stand up for? “I will always stand up for my friends.”

Who do you quote? “Usually if I’m quoting someone, I don’t even know who I’m quoting.”

Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy? “Indoors. I like walking Scoob and everything, but, like, there’s too many bugs outside.”

What is your sinful little habit? “Putting mustard on ice cream.”

What sense do you most rely on? “Taste. But also hearing.”

How do you treat people better than you? “The same.”

How do you treat people worse than you? “The same.”

What quality do you most value in a friend? “Kindness.”

What do you consider an overrated virtue? “I wanna say courage. Biased opinion.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I’d stop worrying about everything.”

What is your obsession? “Good food.”

What are your pet peeves? “When people are mean for no reason.”

What are your idiosyncrasies? “Gotta make sure I turn all the lights off before I leave.”

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Is your family big or small? Who does it consist of? “I guess it’s kind of small. I have my dad, my mom and my sister, Maggie. I haven’t seen my real parents since I was a kid.”

What is your perception of family? “I don’t think family has anything to do with blood, it’s how people treat you.”

Do you have siblings? Older or younger? “Maggie, she’s younger.”

Describe your best friend. “I’ve known her since, well... it feels like forever, but it’s only been, like, a decade and a half. She’s the best person I know. She’s so smart and funny, and she’s beautiful. She has a beautiful soul and... just... everything about her is beautiful. She makes me feel safe, it doesn’t matter what’s going on or how much my mind is racing, if I know she’s there it just feels like everything’s gonna be okay.”

Ideal best friend? “I’ve already got ‘em all.”

Describe your other friends. “They’re great. They’re all unique in their own ways, you know? Freddy’s headstrong and he’s the coolest guy you’ll meet, Daph is such a warm energy and she’s a great conversationalist, Buzz is genuine and he’s loyal. I know everyone thinks so, but I really do have the best friends.”

Describe your acquaintances. “I guess that would be the people I work with. Like, they’re okay.”

Do you have any pets? “Yeah, I have Scoob, but he’s more like my brother or something at this point.”

Who are your natural allies? “Probably the Mystery Inc gang.”

Who are your surprising allies? “I guess it’s surprising I’d fit in with them, huh?”

PAST AND FUTURE

What were you like as a baby? As a child? “I was happy. I can’t remember much from being that young, but I know I was traveling with my parents, I remember I felt like the world was so big and exciting. I felt so loved. I guess I kind of lost that feeling when I was adopted, suddenly the exciting stuff was just, like, scary. I was an anxious wreck as a child, that’s all, honestly.”

Did you grow up rich or poor? “The Rogers family is well off. I wouldn’t say rich, but, like, well off.”

Did you grow up nurtured or neglected? “I don’t wanna say they neglected me. I did feel that way a lot, but some of it was... me, I guess, myself worrying. Yeah.”

What is the most offensive thing you ever said? “I hope nothing.”

What is your greatest achievement? “Is it sad to say everything I’ve done in this last year? For awhile it felt like I was just getting by, but right now, I feel like I’m really living. I got a job, like, it’s not much but it’s a job, I’m doing better in school, I’ve got Velma now, really got her...”

What was your first kiss like? “It was with my favorite person. Kind of later than most people’s, I guess, but worth waiting for.”

What is the worst thing you did to someone you loved? “Come into my mom’s life, probably.”

What are your ambitions? “I’ve been thinking I might wanna go to culinary school.”

What advice would you give your younger self? “I would just tell him that nothing is wrong with him, it’s okay to go your own pace and, like, it’s all gonna be okay, little guy.”

What smells remind you of your childhood? “Corn dogs and pizza. Apple pie. Playground mulch. Hair spray and perfume. Dirt.”

What was your childhood ambition? “I just remember wanting to stop being so scared.”

What is your best childhood memory? “It’s so old it’s blurry, but I remember one of my birthdays, I guess it was my last before I was adopted. We were traveling, my parents were happy, I was happy. It was the last time everything felt okay for awhile.”

What is your worst childhood memory? “There’s a few. Most of them involved panic attacks alone in my bedroom.”

Did you have an imaginary childhood friend? “Not that I remember.”

When was the last time you were crushed with disappointment? “Sometime before I moved to Elias.”

What past act are you most ashamed of? “I’m ashamed that I let myself get separated from my parents, that I couldn’t figure out how to get in touch with them. Maybe shame isn’t the right word. I just wish I knew how my mom and dad were doing, my other mom and dad.”

What past act are you most proud of? “Taking whatever the first step was to stepping out of my shell.”

Has anyone ever saved their life? “I feel like Scooby Doo saved my life.”

Strongest childhood memory? “Another birthday. My first one with the Rogers family. I ended up crying in the bathroom. I was so confused and overwhelmed, I felt like the only person in the world. I just wanted to go home. I don’t think that feeling will ever leave me.”

LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight? “Yes.”

Are you in a relationship? “I’m with Velma.”

How do you behave in a relationship? “I don’t really know what I’m doing, I’m just trying to make her happy.”

When did you last have sex? “I-- uh... that’s personal.”

What sort of sex do you have? “Like, w-why are you asking that?”

Have you ever been in love? “I am right now.”

Have you ever had your heart broken? “Yeah, but it wasn’t in a relationship.”

CONFLICT

How do you respond to a threat? “Run.”

Are you most likely to fight with your fists or your tongue? “Like, neither.”

What is your kryptonite? “All you can eat buffets.”

If you could only save one thing from your burning house, what would it be? “I assume Scooby and Velma don’t count, so I guess I’d probably grab my favorite shirt or something.”

How do you perceive strangers? “Scary.”

What do you love to hate? “I don’t hate anything... except maybe lima beans... and there is no love there, like, at all.”

What are your phobias? “There’s a lot of ‘em.”

What is your choice of weapon? “I’m more of a hider. If I had to use something, I’d probably grab whatever was blunt and close to me.”

What living person do you most despise? “I don’t despise anyone.”

Have you ever been bullied or teased? “Yeah.”

Where do you go when you’re angry? “I don’t get angry. When I’m sad, I just go home.”

Who are your enemies and why? “The bad guys the gang and I try to stop... because we’re trying to stop them...”

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

What is your current job? “Right now I flip burgers.”

What do you think about your current job? “It’s not too bad. It pays the bills for now. Maybe one day I can get a real cooking job.”

What are some of your past jobs? “This is my first job.”

What are your hobbies? “Just chilling, mostly. Smoking, eating.”

Educational background? “I’m in college.”

Intelligence level? “I’m not the smartest guy you’ll meet, but I’m trying.”

Do you have any specialist training? “No.”

Do you have a natural talent for something? “I don’t know if it’s a talent, but I have a lot of knowledge on the supernatural. Weeding out what’s real and what’s not, though, that’s the hard part.”

Do you play a sport? Are you any good? “No, I’ve never been good at sports... I hated gym class.”

What is their socioeconomic status? “I recycle, but I should do more.”

FAVORITES

What is your favorite animal? “Dogs.”

Which animal do you dislike the most? “Anything that bites or stings.”

What place would you most like to visit? “I think Antarctica would be pretty cool. Ha, ba-dum-tss.”

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? “I remember Topanga Canyon being so pretty...”

What is your favorite song? “Two Princes, Spin Doctors.”

Music, art, reading preferred? “Music.”

What is your favorite color? “Green.”

What is their password? “Scoobydoobydoo420 --- like, wait, why are you asking?”

Favorite food? “Like, that’s too hard!”

What is your favorite work of art? “Uh... Mona Lisa?”

Who is your favorite artist? “I don’t know artists that well.”

What is your favorite day of the week? “With my work schedule, it doesn’t really matter.”

POSSESSIONS

What is in your fridge? “What isn’t in my fridge? Let’s see, right now I know there’s barbecue sauce, mayonnaise, mustard, honey mustard, honey, shredded cheddar cheese, American cheese slices, a wheel of Gouda, ketchup, ranch, spicy barbeque, sour cream, strawberry and grape jelly, apple jam, butter, margarine, milk, chocolate milk, Almond milk, strawberry syrup, cherries, a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak, ham, turkey, black forest ham, broccoli, Reeses cups, water bottles, apple juice, leftover brown rice, at least one eggplant, eggs, one slice of buffalo chicken pizza, cabbage, few different Lunchables, green peppers, one red pepper, mild salsa, medium salsa, a microwaveable Calzone, strawberries, raspberries, cream cheese, a bowl of chili and... actually, I think that’s it. Don’t get me started on the freezer.”

What is on your bedside table? “My phone and an old water bottle, probably.”

What is in your car? “I don’t have a car.”

What is in your bin? “Candy wrappers, empty Chinese takeout boxes, probably some junk mail.”

What is in your purse or wallet? “My ID, debit card, a little bit of cash, Scoob’s service dog certificate, a picture of Velma.”

What is in your pockets? “Scooby snacks.”

What is your most treasured possession? “I’m not attached to any specific items, really, just people.”

SPIRITUALITY

Who or what is your guardian angel? “I don’t know, I’d just like to think I have one.”

Do you believe in the afterlife? “I’m not sure. When I think about it, I get a little freaked out.”

What are your religious views? “Uh, I- I don’t know.”

What do you think heaven is? “I think it would be this safe place on the clouds where everyone you love is waiting.”

What do you think hell is? “Bad.”

Are you superstitious? “I guess, yeah.”

What would you like to be reincarnated as? “I guess being a dog would be pretty fun... anything like that. I don’t think I’d wanna be a human again. It’s too much.”

How would you like to die? “Not... painfully...”

What is your spirit animal? “A sloth.”

What is your zodiac sign? “Scorpio.”

VALUES

What do you think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? “Breaking them down. Making them feel like they’re not important, they don’t matter, they have to change who they are to be loved.”

What is your view of ‘freedom’? “Having the chance to choose.”

When did you last lie? “Like, I don’t want to lie, but this guy at work asked me if I liked his new sunglasses, and I didn’t want to be rude and they were pretty expensive, so I said yeah, but... I really didn’t like them.”

What’s your view of lying? “I hate doing it, I don’t want to be lied to.”

When did you last make a promise? “Last week.”

Did you keep or break their last promise? “I keep my promises.”

DAILY LIFE

What are their eating habits? “Whatever I want when I want it.”

Do you have any allergies? “Not that I know of, but I bet I’m allergic to bees, I feel like if I got stung I’d die, so I try to avoid them.”

Describe your home. “It’s just a small apartment. It feels like home when Velma’s there, though.”

Are you a minimalist or a clutter hoarder? “Can I be both? I’m trying to do better about clutter, it’s usually just clothes and trash, I don’t have many belongings.”

What do you do first thing on a weekday morning? “Kiss Velma on the head. Get ready for work. If I’m off, I’ll cuddle a little longer, then we’ll have breakfast.

What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? “Take my shoes off, sit on the couch and watch some TV.”

What do you do on a Friday night? “Whatever Velma wants to do.”

What is your soft drink of choice? “Dr. Pepper.”

What is your alcoholic drink of choice? “I don’t drink much. Mike’s Lemonade is enough for me, and it tastes good.”

MISCELLANEOUS

What or who would you dress up as for Halloween? “I like dressing up as ghosts with Scoob. I think I was the Hamburglar last year. Maybe me, Scooby and and Velma can all do matching costumes this Halloween.”

Are you comfortable with technology? “I guess.”

If you could save one person, who would it be? “Velma.”

If you could call one person for help, who would it be? “Depends on the situation. Freddy, Daph or Velma.”

What is your greatest extravagance? “Food...”

What is your greatest regret? “I don’t think I have any.”

What is your perception of redemption? “Noticing that you need to do better, then striving to do it.”

What would you do if you won the lottery? “I’d pay off any bills my friends have. Put some funding into the Mystery Inc. I guess I’d save the rest.”

What is your favorite fairytale? “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.”

What fairytale do you hate? “Like, Little Red Riding Hood makes me feel... weird...”

Do you believe in happy endings? “Yes.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness? “Being comfortable in your own skin and surrounding yourself with people that are good for you.”

What would you ask a fortune teller? “I’d ask how my birth parents are doing.”

If you could travel through time, where would you go? “I’d go back and spend another day with them.”

What sport do you excel at? “None, no sports.”

What sport do you suck at? “All of them. Especially baseball.”

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? “I’d like to be able to turn invisible. Not to spy on people. Just to hide when everything got too overwhelming.”

#yes i did every single one #took me longer to figure out what's in his fridge than do the rest of this task + graphic #watask #tasks.

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script-a-world · 4 years

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Before You Ask . . . (A Masterpost)

Compiled by Constablewrites

We here at Script-a-World love answering your questions about world-building! In order for you to get the most relevant, helpful answers for your situation, we ask that you consider the following before you ask. Some of these might help you figure out what you need on your own, and some will help you get a more useful answer from us. (Also, remember that we have a Google form here [https://forms.gle/tddy6wPFx5HKjVF37] if your question doesn’t fit in the ask box.)

Have you Googled it? If you’re looking for specific factual information, or if all you need is a very broad overview on the topic, you can probably find that on your own fairly easily. “Introduction to [topic]” or “[topic] basics” are good places to start. (Here’s an article about how to get more out of your searches: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/technology/20-tips-use-google-search-efficiently.html) Reaching out to experts, whether it’s us or someone else, should be about getting particular nuance or figuring out how things intersect.

Have we already answered it? We’ve built up a fair backlog, so if you go back through our posts you might find that we’ve discussed a similar topic, or one that’s close enough to get you thinking or exploring further resources. Our Wordpress mirror has [a page linking to our master posts], and also has a much more reliable search function than Tumblr.

What medium are you working in? And what’s the scope of your story? World building for something like a game can be a very different beast to world building for a novel, and meshing your ideas with an existing setting might require a different approach than creating something original. You also want to think about the scope--the amount of time you’re covering and the number of people involved. If your story takes place entirely in one night, you probably don’t need to write a new calendar. On that note…

How does this idea impact your story? Some of the most effective world building comes from showing how the characters move through their world, what they think and feel about it, how it changes them and is changed by them. Thinking through how your particular idea impacts your characters can help you determine the level of detail you need to figure out. Sometimes broad strokes are sufficient for something that will only ever be in the background, and some ideas never end up being relevant to a particular story at all.

Is there a real-world analogue? For things like city planning, resource usage, religious structures, and so on, it can be very useful to consider how these things play out in our world. You can make yours a reflection of something specific in history (like how the Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo is fantasy Russia), or you can draw on patterns and commonalities.

Have you seen something similar done before? There’s nothing new under the sun, after all. If you want to build a kind of world that feels like something you’ve seen or read, go back to that source and really pick it apart. How do they bring you into their world? What details do they rely on, and how are they deployed? One of the best things you can do as a writer is learn to consume mindfully, so when a story does something you like (or don’t like) you can start to see the underlying mechanics.

Can you be more specific? We’re not going to be able to answer a question along the lines of “How do I build a magic system?” It’s just too broad, and the directions we take it might not be all that interesting or useful to you. Think about what you’re hoping to get from us, and provide the details that relate to that. So if you’re asking a question about agriculture in your capital city, we probably don’t need to know what sort of education your main character has or what the bad guy is trying to do, but we would need to get a rough idea of the climate and technology level. Specifics can lead to more specifics, so if you start narrowing things down, the other elements you need often start coming into focus as you tie those details to your characters and plot. (For instance, if you know your character is a sailor you might get lost in all kinds of nautical rabbit holes. But if you decide that your character is apprenticed to a weather mage on the crew of a small ship, then you can start working out what about the world, its magic, and the character’s life got them to that point.)

And if what you want from us is just a way to figure out how to tell your story… Well, we can’t do that for you. That’s the unique part that you’re bringing to the table. So much of this comes down to execution--the only way to tell if it’s going to work is to try it and see, then to refine and strengthen it as you revise. Along those lines…

Are you prepared to do the research yourself? Just like we can’t write your story for you, we can’t cover every specific detail or nuance you might need. We’re volunteer smart people, not professional research assistants. What we can do is give you some basic information and vocabulary so you can ask the right questions, point you to resources, and give you a plausibility check on your concept in a very general way. It’s up to you to take it from there.

Can you boil it down to one or two questions? Answering just a single question can often require a fairly long answer to cover properly. So if you’re throwing in a dozen different questions about your concept, you’re either going to get cursory answers to all of them, or proper answers to whichever ones we glom onto in the course of our internal discussion. Figure out the point that you care most about or the thing you’re least equipped to answer on your own, and focus there. We’re happy to field a follow-up question or two. More than that, however, starts to edge into the territory of...

Are you just asking for permission to write the thing? If so, consider it granted. So much of writing and storytelling comes down to execution, so we can’t ultimately tell you at the conceptual level if it’s going to work or not. Even when something seems like a flat-out no, a skilled writer could probably pull it off. The only way to find out if you have that skill is to give it a shot, then evaluate the results. (You can always try writing just a scene or short story if you’re not ready to commit to something longer.) Even if you don’t like the way it turned out, words are never wasted--it all helps you refine your skills and style, and sometimes a failed idea can be the seed of something better.

After all this, are you still not sure if you should ask or not? Go ahead and ask! You’re not gonna get yelled at for doing it wrong. This is about helping us provide you with the most useful information, and about giving you the tools to empower your own research. We’d rather have you ask than not--just be aware that if we can’t answer, we can’t answer.

___

So now you’re ready to submit your ask! As noted above, if it’s too long for the ask box, please use our Google form [linked here].

#masterpost #ask advice

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gemma-lemma · 3 years

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Cloudy Days - JJ Maybank x Male OC

Chapter 2.3 – Redfield

Soon after, the friends were in the twinkie, on the way to Redfield lighthouse. Everything seemed to have returned to normal, but Parker could still see the shadow that lingered over JJ’s eyes clear as day.

He wasn’t paying any attention to how John B tried to explain to his friends how the lighthouse was the right answer, and just studied the Maybank boy’s face.

“Bro, you know how I process my sad feels?” JJ suddenly asked into the room. “Dank nugs and the stickiest of ickies, that’s how I do it.”

Even though what JJ had just said was slightly gross, the others didn’t seem to pay his words any mind. Merely Parker raised a brow, and JJ just shrugged in response. They were in the back together with Pope, who was leaned forward between the two front seats to talk to Kiara and JB. JJ sat right behind him, while Parker was sprawled over the bench on the passenger side.

He raised his foot to nudge him in the side, but JJ slapped it away with a scowl. Parker took it as a challenge, and tried to nudge him again, but he just grabbed him by the ankle and held him still mid-air. Parker tried to wriggle his foot free, and almost would have been successful, but then JJ pressed it down on his thigh and got a secure hold on it like that.

Parker grinned at him, knowing the confident look in his eyes would confuse JJ.

“If it helps you believe, John B.” Kiara tried to reassure John B about the lighthouse in a soft voice.

“Look, I- I don’t need a therapy session, okay?” John B defended. “I’m not trippin’ out.”

“It’s okay to trip, bro, but-“ JJ tried to calm him, but was cut off.

“Look, my dad’s missing, okay? Missing. You don’t know what it’s like to have the person closest to you vanish and then have no idea what happened.” John B said, and Parker looked out the window. Not, he did not know how it was if they were missing. Only if they died in front of your eyes. JJ squeezed his ankle and shot him a questioning look. He didn’t answer.

Pope and JJ suggested that Big John might have been kidnapped. Maybe he was in Vietnam, getting interrogated by the KGB, or even in Atlantis. Parker didn’t really pay attention to the conversation anymore. All he could see was the smile on his mother’s face when she closed her eyes for the last time, finally succumbing to her illness, and the blood dyeing Billy’s t-shirt dark red.

After what seemed like an endless ride, they arrived at the lighthouse, which, according to John B, was Big John’s favourite place.

The friends got out of the van, but Parker decided stay inside another few seconds, trying to regain his calm.

He jumped out just in time to hear Pope talking about variables and JJ yelling at him to shut up. It made Parker think about how his friend Alice had always suffered through the maths lessons at school as if she were being tortured. Nobody understood maths less than Alice, Parker was sure of it.

“Listen to me for a second, just listen!” John B interrupted JJ and looked at Parker. “Parker and Pope are gonna stay on lookout with JJ, alright? If we get split up, we meet back at JJ’s house.” He decided, and Kiara agreed.

Parker raised his brows at the retreating figures of his friends.

“Yeah, I’mma work on my merit scholarship essay, and I can’t be involved in a felony.” Pope ranted, snatched the ball JJ was playing with and kicked it around himself. He didn’t pay any mind to the incredulous look the Maybank boy shot him but was out of earshot soon enough.

Parker watched JJ a worriedly.

“How’re ya doin’?”

“Great, thanks.”

“Try again, I don’t believe you.”

“Why wouldn’t you believe me?” JJ snapped and glared at him. The second he saw the look in Parker’s eyes he knew that he had just given himself away.

“Because you just killed the rooster John B said you loved. Have you ever killed anything before?”

JJ scoffed. “Of course I have, don’t be stupid.”

“Insects don’t count.”

“Well, if you’re already all about going Dr. Phil on me, why don’t we ask you a few things too, then, huh? What was that, back at the Château? Since you arrived here you have been a literal wreck, and now you’re suddenly all gangster and bossy? You have too many loose ends, man!” JJ probably hadn’t even realized that he had backed Parker up against a tree until he hit it with his back. He didn’t back down, though.

“That’s how you wanna play this?” Parker laughed, realizing that JJ wouldn’t give him anything for free. “A truth for a truth, then. The first time I ever shot at someone with a gun, was to protect my friends. He would have hurt them, and I couldn’t let that happen, no matter how frightened I was. Same thing happened back at the Château. You guys were in danger, and I had to get my shit together and protect you.” He said with a dangerous smile. “That’s how things work where I come from. The law of the jungle allows no weakness.”

But JJ didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. “We were in danger also when the cops almost found us in the motel room. We were in danger when those guys shot at us or when they wrecked Ms. Lana’s hut. Where were your balls of steel then, huh?”

“Something happened, before I came here. Something bad, that really shook me. I’m still not over it, so don’t get surprised when I suddenly relapse. But today was a closer call than those before, and the situation reminded me specifically of back then, so I managed.”

“What happened?”

“Nuh-uh. That’s not how a truth for a truth works. It’s your turn, now. How are you?”

JJ started backing off, but Parker was faster. He grabbed him by the collar and spun them around, so that now JJ was pressed up against the tree. He struggled to get free at first, but then gave up and stared right into Parker’s eyes, challenging him. When he realized that Parker wouldn’t even accept the challenge, he sighed and averted his eyes again.

“I can’t really understand that I killed the rooster yet, I guess. It doesn’t feel like sadness, or remorse, it just feels bad, and I hate it. That was a living being – an animal that was dear to me. How can I not feel sorry for killing it?” He said quietly, and Parker could hear the pain in his words. He softened his grip on JJ’s shoulders.

“The sorry will come later.” He explained softly. “But if that’s what you’re worried about, I can reassure you. This bad feeling that you’ve got? The one that seems to be eating away at your insides and making you sick to the stomach? That’s what you got for taking a life. It’s gonna feel bad for a while, and at some point remorse will crush you. Maybe you’re lucky and it won’t be that bad because it was just an animal, but it will still hurt. And then you have to feel the pain. It’s like in that John Green novel: pain demands to be felt. That’s the only way you can get over it.”

JJ nodded, deep in thought. Parker’s words seemed to soothe his raging mind a little, but he was still perturbed, so he added: “And if you ever need someone to talk to during that time, or someone to sit beside you while you work things out by yourself, I will be there for you.”

Again, JJ nodded, then his eyes widened as if suddenly realizing something. He looked back into Parker’s face and grabbed his wrists in an iron hold, securing them mercilessly ion his shoulders. “’Maybe you’re lucky and it won’t be that bad because it was just an animal’” He repeated Parker’s words and suddenly he knew that he had made a mistake. “What have you killed, Parker?”

As JJ had expected, Parker tried to rip free, but he wouldn’t let him. He stared at him urgently, waiting for an answer.

The sound of approaching sirens saved Parker from having to answer and they sprinted towards the twinkie. Pope jumped in the driver’s seat, and off they went towards JJ’s house.

They hung out there a while, waiting, but when neither John B nor Kiara showed up Parker decided to drive the twinkie back to the Château. He had ignored any try from JJ’s side to pry any information out of him, not just yet ready to tell him about the men he’d killed to save himself or his friends.

When he parked the car, he was met by John B cleaning up his home and throwing pizza cartons away.

“Hey man, what happened? Weren’t we supposed to meet up at JJ’s?” He greeted, and immediately felt the sour mood his cousin sported.

“You want the long version or short?” He responded and proceeded to put empty glass bottles into a box.

“Medium rare.” Parker answered, just to mess a little. John B actually chuckled quietly. Bingo.

“I kissed Kiara. She pushed me away.” He began and went still, waiting for Parker’s reaction.

“Told you so.” Was all he said, not really surprised that his cousin had tried it after the conversation they’d had on the way to Ms. Lana’s house with JJ.

“I apologized, but she said it was okay.”

“I think nobody cares about you the way Kiara does. She’s doing her best to be a good friend and make it as easy on you as possible. I understand where your confusion is coming from, but I think you should try and take care of her a little better, too. Especially now that this misunderstanding is out of the way.”

John B shrugged in a way that said: You’re right, but I don’t really know what to say now. So he just proceeded with his story. “Then we were arrested because I hurt the lighthouse guy. Peterkin told me that she knew about the compass, I denied having it, Kiara’s dad got us out. I think he hates us. The square groupers chased me through the streets, Peterkin saved me, I gave her the compass, and Ward Cameron fired me because he found out about the scuba gear we took.”

Parker raised his eyebrows, trying to process what John B had just said. “Nice afternoon, man.”

“Yeah, right?”

Parker looked out to the scoop, suddenly remembering something.

“Is that damn turkey still in there?” He asked, and John B nodded.

“Should we bury it or burn it?” He asked, the question directed almost more to himself than to John, and watched him stack a lot of old stuff he recognized from his father’s office and from around the house on a pile.

“If you wanna burn it get it now, because I’m gonna burn all this junk here right now.” He said, taking out a box of matches.

Parker frowned. “You sure you wanna destroy all this?”

“Yeah, pretty.” John B lit the pile on fire and poured gasoline into the flames. They both watched at them in awe for a bit, but then Parker snapped out of it, grabbed an empty box and went to put the dead rooster inside.

“Rest in peace, or something.” He murmured, staring into the creepily open eyes of the animal. “I hope rooster heaven’s nicer than North Carolina.”

Then he closed the lid and crawled out of the scoop, just in time too see John B grab something from out of the fire and stomp on it to stop the flames.

“What the hell are you doing, man?”

But John didn’t answer, he just stared at the pin board he had just saved, as if it held the answers to all of his questions.

Then he looked up. “I think I know what Redfield means.”

#jj maybank #obx #fanfiction #bisexual

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shark-el · 3 years

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Onion soup:

A firend of mine asked me for my Onion soup recipe. I was just gana send it to her plain simple and boring. But then I thought of a better way to waist my time that I should probably be spending doing work or researching for projects and thing. But I decided this was a lot more fun!

My idea was to be one of those annoying food blogs that tell their whole life story in an absolutely overly exaggerated fashion! One to make fun of blogs that do this, and tow because it's fun and why the hell not?!

So the idea for this started back when I was first starting out cooking and every single blog I found had a 1000 word essay about the origin of sed food. I found it extremely irritating because why do I did to know that this person's great uncle's best friends grandma's dog died in a fire in order to make this recipe?! So I would scroll down all the way to get to the actual recipe but the story just kept on going! Like about how her great great great grandfather's colleague from work had spills tea on his novel, a passion project that he had worked so hard for. I still had no idea how this was relevant at all to the spring rolls I was planning on making? And after an eternity of scrolling fingers tired and eyes full of tears I finally got to the recipe.

You'd think after all that back story and the amount I had learned about the person writing this like the fact that her great grandmother's favorite color was tangerine but specifically tangerine, and not orange because her childhood best friend had lent her a sweater that exact color and the next day she had never returned. That sweater has become a family heirloom that has been passed down ever since. Or the fact that she had avocado toast on Tuesday three years ago on may 18th at exactly 3:26 pm. Needless to say I knew a lot about this person and their family tree. It really helped me get the care and feeling I needed for my spring rolls. So that is why I'm going to be overly pretentious and do the same thing to you so have fun.

I was born at a very young age, in the evening on a hot August day. I don't remember much from this time in my life but my parents told me that I was miserable until I could do things for myself. After that I was a force to be reckoned with, nothing could stop me! There was one time when I was about 6 months old my parents had left me on the table thinking I couldn't get far, keeping an eye on me every once in a while but not paying much attention. The second I was put down I saw something gleaming in the corner of my eye, it was a delicious looking chocolate brownie. Nothing could stop me I was going to get that brownie no matter what! so I slowly started scooching my tiny baby body to the delicious looking dessert moving as fast as my little arms could take me. It had been 10 minutes of struggling from one end of the table to the other. I had finally made it! I was so close my hand was mere centimeters away from the prize. It was gonna be mine all mine! But then suddenly out of nowhere my dad's arms came and picked me up taking me away from my long awaited dessert. needless to say I was furious but I still never got that specific brownie (I've had other brownies don't get me wrong, it's just I never had that one. And at this point I don't think I'd want to since it's several years past it's expansion date).

That was my first experience with real food which might have been a core memory if I actually remembered it. Sadly this happened before i could remember it, but i'd like to think that it was the beginning of my love for food.

Over the years I started cooking it started off as learning how to make eggs and mac and cheese but then over the years I started to make more complex dishes, some worked and some didn't. Now I know that most people would rather be informed about the times that somebody failed rather than the time someone succeeded, they stand out more I guess and if you're actually sitting down to read this then I will reward you with some of my biggest cooking fails.

First off anything that involves baking, for instance there was one time I was going to bake a chocolate cake for a bake sale and well... so what happened was, I learned that I can't follow a recipe for the life of me! You may ask why I'm writing this recipe if I probably won't follow it anyway, but it's more a list of ingredients than a actual recipe. Anyway back to the story so my first mistake was I ended up putting in a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon so normally this would be fine it would have just been a little bit salty, but problem was I had another mistake, I ended up putting in a tablespoon of mint extract instead of a teaspoon of vanilla extract as well, so the resulting cake was less cake tasting and more of the toothpaste variety. ( For some reason my brother loved it. He took about a handfuls. I would not recommend it with a glass of orange juice).

Another baking story, I was trying to make chicken pot pie, and filling itself is cooking. I can do that, throwing things in a pot, easy! It works! But do not, I repeat do not! leave me alone with a pie crust. my dad and I frantically tried to roll out said pie crust and not rip it, we were flailing around confused as to how dough worked. It took us about half an hour to roll out the pie crust so it would rip adds little as possible. After that day we came to a conclusion never to leave us with the job of baking ever again!

The next cooking fail I have is finally about the soup recipe. You see the first time I tried making onion soup it didn't go very well... Let me explain what happened. I was really in the mood for a nice warm onion soup and I figured you just throw some onions in a pot with some white wine and water and let it sit. Problem was we didn't have any wine, and I was too young to go to the grocery store to buy some, so instead I decided to use grape juice. Never but I mean never cook an absurd amount of grape juice, the heated aroma smelt excruciatingly unappetizing and I would not recommend it on anyone. So the resulting soup was watered down hot grape juice and stir-fried onions. needless to say it did not taste good and smelled even worse. I told myself that would be the last time I'd ever make onion soup! Years have past and and I was really in the mood for onion soup again even after that disaster, so I decided to try once again. this time with no grape juice! I looked through multiple recipes some had more ingredients than others and ended up combining a lot of them together to make my own onion soup recipe the one you see before you. And though I was scared that I'd mess it up I decided that I just really wanted some onion soup so I made it and it turned out delicious. Look at that a happy ending isn't that just great?!

I'd be surprised if you actually read through all of this if you did a good job,if you didn't then you're probably not going to read this sentence but I don't blame you it's all good who actually reads these backstories to recipes anyway?

Anyway I think I've mumbled on long enough here is the actual recipe for this soup:

5-6 onions

7-8 cups of chicken/ onion stock ( cold be parve from show mixes)

3 cloves of garlic (probably more)

1/4 cups of soy sauce

1/3 cups of white wine (optional)

4 tablespoons of oil (2-3 at the beginning and then 1-2 in middle of caramelization)

4 tablespoons of flower

1 teaspoon sugar (helps with caramelization)

Salt (to taste)

Pepper ( to taste but approx 1/8-1/4 of a teaspoon)

Instructions:

1) caramelize onions:

On medium heat Cook the onions, stirring often, until they have softened, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Increase the heat to medium high. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil (or butter depending on) and cook, stirring often, until the onions start to brown, about 15 more minutes.

Then sprinkle with sugar (to help with the caramelization) and 1 teaspoon of salt and continue to cook until the onions are well browned, about 10 to 15 more minutes.

Add garlic

2) Add Flour until mixed and quickly ( so it doesn't burn) add Add wine and soy sauce and once mixed well and incorporated

3)Add stock slowly, then add bay leaves and black pepper and salt (if needed, you can always add it later).

Bring to a summer and leve on low heat for 30 mins.

And now you officially scrolled too far, this is the point in a recipe blog where they add a bunch of links to all the recipes made by their friends families and anything else that comes to mind. Most people looking for the recipe would scroll all the way to the end trying to find it in this mess of words and unnecessary backstory told in an excruciatingly painful amount of detail. Then realize they've scrolled too far, sigh and start scrolling up again, this time a little slower.

It normally also has recommendations of foods that would go well with it, in the case of this onion soup I would recommend eating it with some garlic bread or grilled cheese sandwiches, basically all comfort foods that would spark Joy anytime you eat them.

If you're looking for aesthetic you can try making a bread bowl, cover it with cheese and broil it, which would have a whole other recipe linked in somewhere, with more details about how their great uncle's best firends associate made this same recipe for the pince of some country. But as I mentioned beforehand, I for one am not a baker and bread is most definitely a baking job. Not only is bread one of the more complex foods to bake, even if you put every ingredient precisely as the recipe mentions them, it still won't turn out right! Because ether the atmospheric pressure has changed very slightly, or the wind isn't blowing in the correct direction. Bread making is hard and I have a lot of respect for people who can do it correctly.

If you've read through all of this, damn that's dedication thank you and I applaud thee. I hope you enjoyed, and were amused.

#food #food blog #funny #onion soup #lol #exaggeration #please dont take me seriously #please dont come for me #stupid stuff #over the top #recipes #this is rediculous #im just procrastinating

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natural-hazard · 3 years

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Language games and "why do you care?"

epistemic status: wailing and gnashing of teeth The sexual tension between the terms "pragmatic" and "meaningful". We've leaned towards using pragmatic more, I believe because Spendo and Crispith love them some William James. The thing that underlies both of them is this sense of hooking in to what matters to you. I could do without the word "pragmatic"s association with a particular narrow view of what can matter ("his head was in the clouds, he had all these big ideas but no pragmatic inclinations"). I bemoan "meaningful" and "meaning"s rumored (big if true!) association with, well.... "meaningless shit that doesn't connect to real humans, and is something that people play act at". Pragmatic evokes imagery of my "no-nonsense" grandpa who worked at a glass manufacturing plant his whole life and always focused on providing for his family. Meaningful evokes my artsy-fartsy sister who's desperately trying to escape the capitalist machine by trying to become a shaman in Ecuador. Take David Chapman's post (but give it back when you're done, the internet runs out after a while) Meaningful Perception. From our point of view it could just as easily be called "Pragmatic Perception". The structure of how you perceive is shaped by the structure of how you care. When we talk about pragmatic classification systems, though I defs expect lumber-jacks to be more like my grandpa than my sister, we're tapping into the sense in which classification systems are made by people who care about stuff, and are using the classification systems to get more hooks into interacting with what they care about. As it has been, and as it shall be, talking about care can spawn plenty of strife. Because I'm not referencing the things that your self-concept or your Narrative Self (explanation needed, not forthcoming, life's cruel ain't it?) say that you care about. I don't care about what other people think of me... except, of course for all the ways that I do. Having a self-image defined via negative traits (I'm not this, I'm not that) involves paying just as much attention to how others asses you as for positive ones.

"How can you not care?!"

Sometimes it's shouted in a tone of self-righteous indignation. Sometimes it's blurted out in a confused state of reality-shock. Sometimes it comes out as barely more than a whisper, a quiet spell soaked in sadness trying to magik reality into being other than it is. Hypothetical: you and your friends have a little group where y'all get together and talk about movies. Old and new, low brow and high brow, anything that's been on a screen. You gain a reputation in your broader social network as The Movie Folk, ones who are wise in the ways of film, those of nuanced takes and discerning gaze. One day, you find out your friend Ihsmael (it's always an Ihsmael isn't it?), who by the way is one of the more respected and venerated critics in your group, has never watched any of the films you all talk about. He watched a few movies growing up, but decided he doesn't actually enjoy watching films that much and hasn't seen any since he was 8. I can image one who has righteous indignation. WTF Ishmael? The rest of us have been putting in the work for years, and you've just been reading the plot on wikipedia and mashing up takes you found on the obscure and weirdly high quality forum that no one else happened to know? You've cheated! You're a sham! You don't deserve all the adoration you get for your hot takes, I demand you immediately refund everyone who ever gave you social capital! I can imagine one who's brain momentarily glitches as they try to understand how the fuck this is even possible. Why... have you been hanging out in our explicitly movie centric friend crew for multiple years when you don't watch films? The reality-shock alternates between "this makes so little sense I most be missing something" and the existential horror of realizing another human can look at the art you prize most and only care about a minuscule superficial aspect of it (critiquing with friends). Maybe you don't see them as committing status fraud, but you can't help but think that they live in a small sad world, content with only shadows of the real. ---------------------------- Variation in what people care about is fine. Not everyone needs to love A Serious Man as much as me. What's tragic is when I see systematic forces attempting to destroy ways of caring. In one of my favorite blog posts on the internet, Ben Hoffman talks about such an experience when trying to share with a friend a new technique he learned called Goal Factoring (pick some goal you have, see if it's actually you trying to get a few different things which are actually separable as in you could satisfy each of them better by trying to achieve them in different ways)

Naturally, I wanted to share this with others. When I got back home to DC, I tried to teach goal factoring to the Less Wrong meetup there. One participant told me that they'd had a hard time engaging, because their experience with any exercise around explicitly describing goals pattern-matched to things they'd been forced to do in school. For instance, they described an exercise they'd been forced to do at the beginning of the school year. The first step was to list a goal for the year (usually for that particular class), and the next steps were about figuring out how they'd accomplish that goal. They didn't really have specific goals in mind, so they had to make something up. Usually something that they imagined the teacher might approve of. They had effectively been trained to think of reasoning explicitly about goals as something where you have to follow someone else's rules, and has little to do with getting what you actually want. It should be easy to see how this might poison the whole thing. If someone's had enough experiences like that, where something that sort of looks like explicitly reasoning about goals is forced on them in nonsense ways, they might be ruined for goal factoring – and for many other things.

This breaks my heart. The particular connection to the particular technique that is goal factoring isn't important. But the fact that a person's interaction with the school system has effectively poisoned their ability to apply the entirety of their mind the timeless question "what do I see as the good life, and how shall I pursue it?" Many moons ago, in highschool, I suggested to a group that we get gyros, which I pronounced "j-eye-rows". Some nasally voiced twerp "ummmmm AKTUALLY it's pronounced 'year-ohs'". "Great", I thought to myself, "I will now never in my life ever pronounce it the way this fucko just suggested." Many. Such. ✨Cases✨. Schools at their worst (and also at their medium) act as 12 year programs who's end result is smashing one's ability to genuinely care about huge swathes of reality. ----------------------------- Which takes us back to language games (what, you don't remember us ever being at language games? Pal, we've always been at language games). I need to go to work now, so you figure out the connection. It's something like: language games fight each other. Language games have macro-structure (The Situation you are in and it's logic) and micro-structure (how do words actually combine to mean anything?). When people care about vastly different things, it changes the relationship between macro and micro structure of a language game. Two apsie nerds discussing trains is a language game that has a macro-structure, but it's less salient than the specific details they're conveying to each other via highly systematic micro-structure. Two dudes hurling insults at each other in a bar, The Situation screens off other details. The macro screens off the micro. The point of an insult is that it peforms the Insult Move in A Situation. It doesn't matter to much if I call your dad an ass-hat or your mom a cuck. The meaning of the micro is used to understand the move in the macro, and is then unimportant (except via contributing to a certain aesthetic quality and intensity to the macro move). Some macro-structures want to destroy micro-structures that I care a lot about. I aim to do something about this.

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burningthemidnightcityoil · 3 years

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THE ALPHA TIMELINE AND SPACE

Biiiig time Homestuckery spoiler stuff here.

Outside of how they are interpretative, used as powers, symbolized or otherwise, the Aspects do appear to have direct functions outside of created Universes. As shown by the Intermission (and by extension, HS^2).

So when you’re in the Medium, the Aspects all act akin to the laws of nature or physics, they will act beyond your power and control, even if you’re a god or the top god or whatever.

So let’s talk about Time.

Time tends to just tick on. If choices (Mind) comes into play, multiple timelines may appear (Mind deals in the idea of Multiverses born from significant Choices) but Time ultimately doesn’t care.

But that changes when there’s a Paradox.

Time wants to or will always try, to solve a paradox. Because as one really great fanfic once pointed out, Time isn’t just a Line, its also a Circle. But we’re not here to talk about Cycles (Heart based), we’re here to talk Paradoxes.

There are plenty of minor paradoxes in Homestuck, such as the Rabbit’s journey, or Dave’s time shenanigans, or the Trolls retroactively becoming future involved in past future human tomfuckery.

But.

Homestuck is already one Huge Paradox.

This is the Alpha Timeline, or Lord English’s Paradox.

See, the phrase “He is Already Here” is a bit more important than you think. Caliborn was born in Universe C, (Evidence: Troll Planet. Dead Earth populated by Bro Dave’s shitty jpg Statue of Liberties) which we know to have been created by our Humans / Trolls, who implanted Alpha Earth into this universe.

But thanks to outside intervention (literally), the Cherubs’ coming into contact with the Humans, Gamzee, and SBURB is literally LE’s Paradox catching up to him preemptively and retroactively. This is both where the paradox ends and starts.

And thus, Caliborn has, had and will always be, Lord English. And since he always has been, and always will, the rest of the Medium now has to spend literal eons dealing with both Caliborn’s choices, and how Caliborn came to be. As Lord of Time, literally its commander, as well as someone who basically perma-ate his immortality clock (he commands his own Time), the Medium now has to deal with both Caliborn’s choices and figure out how he came to be.

Everything has to solve / fullfill Caliborn’s paradox, while also showing the underlying and horribly toxic influence that Lord English has on everything he ever comes into contact with.

And of course it starts and ends with some poor kid’s 13th birthday, with the best fucking question anybody has ever asked.

But.

The nature of Paradox Space is that you literally make your own story, and how complicated and out of control it gets, and how out of your depth you are.

And that starts with...

The planet the Cherubs grew up on never needed a backstory. It could’ve just been a dead planet that once had a civilization, with only vague hints at what it was once like. Trolls could easily be imaginary creatures, born out of some lonely and tormented girl’s mind, or since they’re in the universe presently, they could’ve been around but just didn’t do much. There, at no point, ever required the fuss that is Homestuck.

This, is Alt Calliope’s timeline. A multiverse Space that never had any outside intervention, never had any of the fuss. Space cares about possibility and impossibility, and knows that you don’t need all this bullshit to just exist, or just be. You’re not gonna grow up next to cyclopean walls, and expect to meet actual Cyclopes.

Time wants direction, a reason, a pattern to follow. Space wants creation, it wants to be and it doesn’t care about patterns or explanations.

But that all went to hell when the game for the Alternate Cherubs started. Due to LE’s influence across the Medium, Alt Calliope’s game was ruined before it even started, because in another session, Caliborn was already making his way downtown, and LE was already here.

And yeah, from Homestuck’s standpoint, she’s probably the good guy. But there in lies a different problem. She’s not.

Alt Calliope is akin to Lord English, in that she decides what IS and ISNT. HS^2 is showing us this, right now, how dangerous she / they actually are (and I imagine that they’re going to become the villains right quick).

But.

You have to remember, the Aspects are like Laws, the IS and ISNT, they’re the underlying nature of reality and they’re too incomprehensible to have anything we might consider a conscious will. They simply Are.

I imagine in a normal session, Doomed Timelines don’t occur as often as they do in Homestuck. If something messes up, a Time Player can go back and try a new avenue, rather than be forced to only make specific choices. Its only if a paradox gets made that Doom starts creeping in.

Dido for Space. Things of Space are going to exist, no matter what Cherub or Human God Brats say or thinks, as proven by both Candy and Meat existing co dependently and interconnectedly.

AHEM

SPACETIME => FONDLY REGARD CREATION.

#homestuck #alpha timeline #lord english #caliborn #calliope #alt calliope

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alitaimagines · 4 years

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“kyoya has been my hyperfixation lately so here you go! I have an hour lecture to listen too and I haven’t and by me writing this, I know I’m going to be rushing last minute to hear it.”

character: kyoya ootori

fandom: ouran high school host club

song recommendation: in your eyes - the weeknd.

being considered a commoner at Ouran was hard, being friends with rich people was even harder. having to live up to the standards that everyone who attended Ouran was something you learned the hard way. it was until you met Haruhi that you felt any shame of being a commoner drift away.

“Haruhi!” you screamed for her. she turned around and gave you a smile realizing it was you, “are we still on for tonight? I know you have arrangements with your club so I didn’t know if we were still going to have the sleepover,” you asked.

Haruhi nodded, “yeah, you can come over around six. I usually leave once Tamaki’s clinginess falters or Kyoya distracts him,” she mentioned. you nodded as you followed her to her class.

“awesome. remember I’m bring the snacks!” you said waving her off. Haruhi couldn’t help but laugh at your loudness, “and I’m buying dinner!” she screamed back before entering her class.

once the evening came and Haruhi was home, being the two of you were next door neighbors, you gave her a few minute to decompress before going next door.

“hey, I already ordered our dinner, what did you bring for snacks?” Haruhi asked as you hauled the medium sized bag onto her coffee table, “anything under the son,” you joked as you dumped it onto the table .

Haruhi gave you a look before noticing how many things you actually brought, “Jesus Christ, you realize it’s only the two of us right?” she asked, “yeah? and? Ouran has been stressing me out so much that I feel like I’m going to go into cardiac arrest,” Haruhi laughed as the two of you reached for the snacks on the table.

Friday sleepovers was a usual for the both of you. being that you didn’t have a lot of friends at Ouran and Haruhi tried to escape the host club at least for the weekend, the two of you found solace in each other.

“I stole my brothers Wii so I can finally kick your ass at Mario Kart again,” you told Haruhi as she laughed, “yeah right. I beat you several times last time. give it up already!”

you gave her the middle finger as you stood up, “I’m going to make our shakes. be useful and set it up,” you jokingly said as she threw the nearest pillow at you.

you made your way to the kitchen and started making the Friday night shakes as you liked to call them. Haruhi always preferred vanilla and you always went with strawberry. the two of you usually traded shakes halfway through so you wouldn’t get grossed out.

just as you finished putting the syrup on your, you made your way to the living, dancing to the music Haruhi had playing as she set up the Wii.

“hey, you ran out of milk so unless-,” you realized that Haruhi wasn’t paying attention you as she had a tall boy in her living room.

“oh hey, this is ( your name ),” she told the boy as you gave him a nervous smile, “I know who she is,” he said as you gave him a bewildered look, “this is ( your name ). you’re a second year in the class next door next to mine. you also live next door to Haruhi and have these sleepovers every night.”

you couldn’t help but look at Haruhi like he was crazy. she put her hand up in the air, “how would you know that?” Kyoya chuckled, “I know every thing about our members so I know every thing about their personal life as well.”

Haruhi gave you a nervous smile as you stared down at the ground in panic and a bit freaked out, “don’t worry, I won’t intrude any longer. I just need you to sign these papers for the club and I’ll leave you guys alone,” Haruhi nodded as she looked down at the papers and quickly signed them.

you on the other hand stayed quiet, not knowing what to say or do. you couldn’t fail to realize the looks Kyoya was giving you ever so often. you were a cute girl, he couldn’t deny that but he knew he probably made you uncomfortable when he told you all those fact.

“would you like a shake? there’s probably enough left for one more,” you asked Kyoya. he stayed silent for a moment before silently shaking his head yes, “no problem! It shouldn’t take long,” you said before running back into the kitchen.

“any preference of choice? vanilla, chocolate, banana, or strawberry?” you asked popping your head back out, “chocolate should be sufficient,” Kyoya said before you gave him a smile and going back into the kitchen.

“but senpai, I thought you didn’t like sweats?” Haruhi asked. Kyoya chuckled again, “I don’t,” was all he said before going back to papers he brought for Haruhi.

Haruhi wasn’t stupid. undeniably, she was one of the smartest in the Host Club so it didn’t take her too long to realize that he was, in someway, interested in you, “senpai, you know how we’re hosting the charity event tomorrow?” Kyoya nodded, “is it okay if she comes? she might not have the money to pay for the ticket but she could be my plus one since they’re allowed in for free?”

Kyoya knew what Haruhi was doing but he decided to play along with it, “sure. make sure she’s dressed appropriately,” before he could say anything else, you walked back out from the kitchen, “here you go! I hope it isn’t too milky or too chocolatey!” you exclaimed as you put the to go lid on the cup, “I didn’t know what else to give you the shake in so I hope you don’t mind that it isn’t in my tumblr.”

Kyoya waved off your concern as he stood up, “we’ll see you both tomorrow,” Kyoya said as you gave him a look, “tomorrow? why would I see the both of you tomorrow?” you asked Haruhi.

she gave you a sheepish smile, “well you know that charity event that’s going on at Ouran tomorrow? I kinda said you were my plus one.” you growled as you slumped into her couch, “do you realize I have nothing to wear tomorrow? how fancy is the damn event anyway?” you asked or more like yelled.

“don’t worry, anything business casual should be fine,” Kyoya mentioned before waving the two of you off. as soon as he left, you couldn’t help but chuck the pillow she threw at you back at her, “since when were you going to tell me this?” you asked as she avoided your eye.

“I was going to tell you later tonight, why are you so nervous about it?” Haruhi asked, “I’m not nervous! I would just like to know about events you’re forcing me to attend a few days in advance!” you muttered.

Haruhi shook her head realizing that it was the nervousness from seeing Kyoya that made you scream at her.

the rest of the night involved you asking questions about tomorrows event. every now and again, you would ask about Kyoya. was he single? did he seem interested in any of the girls in his class? did he want to marry a rich person? Haruhi wanted to ask you why were you invested in Kyoya’s personal life all of a sudden but didn’t bother too.

you got up the next morning earlier than Haruhi. after leaving a few of the snacks on her table, you went back to your house to tell your mother the news. she couldn’t help but laugh knowing the host club usually put Haruhi into antics she didn’t want to be involved in and it was only time before you got involved.

she let you borrow a dress that she had saved for you for an occasion like this. it was a cute white dress with a black blazer over it. it wasn’t exactly your type of style but you realized that you didn’t have another option.

“hey Haruhi!” you screamed as you banged on her door. she slowly walked to the door and laughed at how you were dressed, “don’t tell me that’s how you plan on going?” you gave her a look before telling her that you were only partially dressed, “how long is the event? I need to know if I need to wear heels or not.”

Haruhi ran to her book bag before taking a paper out, “it’s on a beach so I suggest heels or sandals if I were dressed like you,” she suggested as you screamed a thank you at her before returning to your own house.

it didn’t much longer for you to get dressed and being that you were technically going with one of the members hosting the event, you had to be dressed and ready before anyone else.

after grabbing your purse and filling it with a few left over snacks, you made your way back to Haruhi’s apartment. you didn’t know how rich people ate and you were afraid that you would in some capacity regret eating their food so you brought some in case.

“ready to go? we’re taking the bus all the way the beach so we don’t want to miss it.”

“or we could just tell my mom to drop us off. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

after your mom dropped the both of you off at the extremely nice beach, the two of you walked up to where the host club was. you felt a bit intimidated introducing yourself to everyone but it wasn’t long before all the invitee’s started to arrive.

thankfully they had pulled a separate table for the host club to sit at. once they brought the food out and handed everyone their plates, you realized how wrong you were. the food looked edible enough and you were kind of excited to eat such high standard food.

“hey, the host club has to do a few things, do you mind sitting with Kyoya while we get them done?” Haruhi asked. you shrugged as you took your phone out form your pocket and figured you might as well entertain yourself with that while she was gone.

for a while, the table with just you and Kyoya remained silent. it wasn’t until you set your phone done, not wanting to drain its battery when Kyoya finally spoke up.

“how long have you known Haruhi?” he asked as he set his pen down. you thought for a moment, “well, we didn’t go to the same middle school but when I realized that she was one of the only commoners at Ouran, we just kind of became friends. so maybe just two or two and a half years?” you said.

he nodded, “how did you get into Ouran? the same way Haruhi did?” you nodded, “my marks were high enough in middle school that they gave me a scholarship to attend it. the only thing they couldn’t pay for was uniform so I had to pay on that on my own.”

“how come I’ve never seen you around the host club? you’re rather close with Haruhi,” Kyoya asked again. you couldn’t help but sigh, you felt like you were playing twenty questions, “uhm, no one has really invited me and I don’t want to pay for things I don’t have the money for so I rather save myself the trouble of getting myself into the situation that Haruhi did.”

Kyoya laughed as he noticed how busy the event suddenly got, “guests don’t pay for anything,” he mentioned. you jokingly rolled your eyes, “I’ve heard stories from Haruhi. in the end, I’ll somehow be paying for something.”

“would you like to take a walk on the beach? I can tell you’re as uncomfortable as I am here,” you silently thanked him as you grabbed a few of your things and followed him through the crowd.

the two of you managed to sneak away from the party and made it to the more calmer part of the beach, “it’s a wonderful evening, isn’t it?” you asked as you couldn’t help but laugh at the funny feeling of having your feet on the sand.

“it is. I don’t do this often,” Kyoya mentioned as you gave him a sympathetic look, “I know but you should. walking on the beach or just walking anywhere really relaxes me at times,” you admitted.

Kyoya nodded, “I know you rich people don’t really like to indulge in such commoner habits but taking a walk on the beach really eases a persons head,” Kyoya laughed at your little side comment.

“I get the feeling that you think that ‘rich’ people come from another planet or something,” Kyoya said as you shrugged, “basically. my life in comparisons to yours isn’t exactly the same. not to bash on rich folks or anything but you guys wouldn’t know the half of it,” you explained.

Kyoya shook his head understandingly, “well how about a deal?” you gave him a confused look, “we go on these walks once a week and you can come visit me once a week at the host club,” he offered.

you knew that this was Kyoya’s version of asking you out. although he was a rather blunt person, he would never openly admit his feelings for someone.

“deal,”

you shook hands with him as a warm feeling crossed your face and a small blush crossed his. the two of you realized that if you didn’t head back to the party, everyone would start getting suspicious and you would rather keep your future relationship as private as possible. or at least until Kyoya’s best friend, Tamaki, found out.

ALITA

#ouran high school host club #ouran hshc #ouran hshc x reader #ouran hshc imagine #kyoya ootori imagine #kyoya ootori x reader #kyoya ootori

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samuel-dean · 3 years

Text

21 Questions

INVOLVED: Samuel Evans and Mercedes Jones LOCATION: Evans’ Estate; Irving, Texas TIME FRAME: - NOTES: Mercedes tries to pull Samuel away from work, which she’s successful at.

Samuel's office was French Country style to the core. The rich, deep woods, stone fireplace and stately furniture might seem dated to the untrained eye. To Mercedes, it symbolizes wealth on a scale that boggles the mind. This old world warmth of this decorating style was a show of wealth. But rarely was it a true depiction of its owner's temperament. Yet, it suited Samuel to the teeth. Mercedes entered, nuzzling at Nouvel’s soft oversized cheeks. She closed the door behind her and moved across the hand knotted, Persian rug. Smiling, she pointed at the man behind the desk. "Whose that?" She asked the baby, stealing another kiss. She switched the position of the baby in her arms as she prepared to hand her over to the man. “Busy?”

Samuel leaned against the desk gently, his hand holding up his head as he scrolled down the list of potential assistants. He blinked hard for a moment before he sat up seeing Mercedes, stretching he smirked and said “never too busy for you two” with a smile holding his hands out for their daughter.

Mercedes quirked an eyebrow. “So you say.” She said, gently putting the little girl in the man’s arms. She kissed the baby’s cheek once more, then stood admiring the pair for a moment. “You’ve been locked up in here for hours.” She sat on his desktop, crossing her legs at the ankles. “Is everything...” Her eyes shifted to her dangling feet and she tossed her head from side to side “Progressing as expected?”

Samuel hoisted the little girl up pecking her cheek lovingly, “you look so cute today” he cooed at the child as bounced her slightly. “10 billion” he said to Mercedes as he continued to hold the child up smiling at her. He rested the child in his lap and looked at her “it’ll work itself out” he offered. “I have to attend a memoriam” he added before he looked back down at the child stroking her plump cheeks gently.

Mercedes body jerked, shoulders rolling her into an upright position. She reviewed the list of the dead mentally, then factored for the man in front of her. It was to be expected, she supposed. She exhaled, but took little comfort from his words. Adding stress wasn’t her goal at the moment, she reminded herself. He was already under enough. “I know.” She said quietly reaching out she ran her hand across his beard. “Of course. When is it?”

“I have to get the set date and time” Samuel replied back to her “you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, however” he said still eyeing their child.

Mercedes turned her head, swapping her nails back through her hair. “If you have to plan the memoriam I can help." Her face went blank as a new canvas. “However?” Was he saying he didn’t want her to go or that she should? Her lips turned down, “I won’t say anything.” She offered trying to read his mind.

“No, I just have gotten the date or time, I guess they are still working on all of that. We settled out of court with a few of them. So, you know they have all gotten whatever money they seeked” he said sighing. He shifted the little girl gently “funerals have been paid for” he added as he toyed with the child’s head of hair. “It’s not that” he said shaking his head “you have the option baby, I am just saying you don’t if you don’t want to” he breathed softly. Hell he wished she could go in his place right now, as harsh as it sounded he wanted the shit to just blow over.

“Oh…” Mercedes laughed off her misunderstanding with a relieved sigh. She laced her fingers around her knee, swinging her legs back and forth. “I have options?” She said, playfully. She watched the pair with a loving smile on her face. “Thank you, but It’s fine. I think it's best I go." She said after a moment. Honestly, every higher up in the company should. ” She caught herself, hand darting up to her mouth as if she could recall the statement. She cleared her throat, glancing over the desktop “Are you done for the day?”

“Yeah, you always have options” Samuel smirked though he didn’t look at her directly. “You may be right about that” he told her honestly they were putting it all on him, but he assumed that is just what people like them would do. He looked at the computer screen, then at her “yeah” he said honestly, he’d never find someone that Mercedes liked and anyone she would he hated.

Mercedes giggled, “I’m going to remember that…” There was a tug to question him about what the board was doing. They all seemed surprisingly uninvolved. She didn’t, however. This was his thing, and she couldn’t risk overstepping. “What are you working on anyway.” She asked, getting to her feet. “I don’t want to pull you away from something important.”

Samuel held the little girl in his arm, pulling his long locs from her small hand, pushing his hair out of the way. “Looking for a new assistant” he told her cooly, she had to appreciate this sentiment, he was finally getting rid of Patty like she truly wanted him to.

Mercedes back stiffened, eyes darkening as Samuel words took hold. “Oh!” She squeaked 3 octaves higher than usual. Reaching for Nouvel. “Why?” She asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Because that’s what I thought you’d want me to do?” Samuel asked her, very confused, she took the baby and asked him a question he didn’t get. “Why’d you take her from me?” he asked without thought, was it a defense mechanism.

Mercedes handed the baby back to the man and stepped away from him abashed. “I… I wanted to show you something. That’s all. It’s in the other room.” She told him, pointing stiffly to the other side of the house. She hugged herself, unsure of what to say or do next.

Samuel looked at her “oh” he said “sorry” he added “I thought you were getting upset with me” he told her honestly. “Sorry” he told her again feeling bad now.

Mercedes dropped her arms, then rubbed her hands down her bare face. Baby steps, she thought. Twisting her lips and moving around the awkwardness that just transpired, she reached her hand out to him, wiggling, perfectly manicured nails. “Come on.” She said, a hint of sadness in her voice she couldn’t hide.

Samuel stood up, all six-foot seven inches of him and he gently hoisted their child up in his arms. Looking her over her grabbed Mercedes hand saying “okay” to her simply, though he was curious as to what was going on.

Mercedes pulled the large man along behind her. She bit her bottom lip as they exited his office, making their way to the opposite end of the sprawling mansion. Outside of the room she’d prepared for Samuel, stood Brent as instructed. He nodded kindly to the couple, “Mr. Evans.” He said, eyes going to Mercedes as he waited for instruction. “Take Nouvel to her room. She’s ready for a nap.” She told the man, still holding Samuel’s hand.

Samuel followed behind Mercedes, his eyebrow still raised at her but he didn’t say anything of course. When he saw Brent he puffed out his chest a bit, he still didn’t like the boy though he’d done nothing wrong and actually took really good care of their daughter. He handed the child over relectuntantly and said “Brent” in a gruff voice, he wanted to squint at him but didn’t. Instead he looked at Mercedes trying to figure out where she was going with this.

Brent accepted the child, who cooed and drooled as she went to her caregiver happily. “Have a nice evening.” He said, moving off down the hall, have an impossible conversation with the child. “I know you had fun with daddy and mommy. I know. What? You want your giraffe? Okay.. I guess.”

Mercedes exhaled before pushing the door open. Inside, the floor was covered with a white drop cloth. Three large tables formed a trapezoid-like triangle in the center of the room.

Draped, two were covered with paints of every hue and color. The third held brushes. Some were from Samuel's personal collection. Others were new. She also had them add sponges and rags to the assortment. Against the wall there were canvas of all sizes. Some, large as the wall itself, others smaller. She didn't know which he would prefer so she got all of them. “I thought you needed some time away from everything. Travel is off the table for the moment… Maybe this would be relaxing?” She said, gazing at everything, still questioning her idea.

As she opened the door Samuel looked around it, wow, that was not expected at all. He looked at her and then back to the art supplies, shocked a little. A big grin spread across his face, honestly he didn’t know when the last time he picked up a brush. “Wow” he said to her finally, he pulled her closer to his side “thank you” he said before he kissed her full lips. He pulled away and chuckled “wow” he said moving to the canvases.

Mercedes looked at the man, grinning as relief flooded through her body. She warmed, fingers slipping into his long, loose hair as he favored her with a kiss. As he moved away from her, she couldn't help but ask “You really like it?” She snapped her fingers, then pointed to the other side of the room. “There are clothes for you to change into over there.” She moved over to the table filled with paints, “I didn’t know what kind of medium you like to work with. So, I picked up oils, acrylics… Heck, I even got some body paint.” She laughed, going over the selection.

“I love it” Samuel told her truthfully “no one has ever done something like this for me before '' he said picking up a canvas. Which was a realization he had just made honestly. He looked where she pointed and nodded his head at her. At the mention of body paint he looked over at her, hiding his smirk he looked away from her and looked back at the canvases. “Thanks” he told her again as he moved towards the table “are you joining me?” he asked purposefully.

Mercedes shook her head, blushing. Her fiance was so modest and kind. And he lied so well. She didn’t deserve him. “It’s up to you. You strike me as a solitary creator.”

He looked at her and said “I want you to stay” lovingly, and he meant it. Maybe he could teach her, if she didn’t already know. She was like an onion she had so many layers he still hadn’t peeled back yet, and he knew that. “Hey, I might even be able to put that body paint to use if you do,” he said, setting up a few things for him to use.

“Your wish is my command.” Mercedes looked over the colors. “I haven’t painted since college. I wasn’t ever really good at it. Now, I mostly use color pencils and markers or SketchUp on the computer." She chuckled, looking over to the man, “You had me at stay, sir.” She told him, in response to his cheeky comment.

“Maybe I can teach you some techniques” Samuel said rolling up his sleeves, he could change but he didn’t care. Pricey shirt and pants or not, it was what it was. He chuckled at her “we will have fun” he told her as he rested his canvas on an easel. He really didn’t know what to paint honestly, he usually thought of a picture on concept.

“That could be fun.” Mercedes said, moving to stand beside Samuel. She stared at the blank canvas, turning her head this way and that. “Paint what you are feeling.” she said thoughtfully. “Complete expression with no bonds.” her eyes drifted to the large canvas resting against the wall. “I feel adventurous.” She said, stepping in front of the blank white canvas.

Looking away from the medium sized canvas, he looked at her before he chuckled “I should be telling you that” Samuel said. He contemplated what he wanted to paint for a very long time before he made up his mind. He grabbed a brush, using a small amount of brown paint to draw out the structure of her face.

Mercedes laughed, shoulders shaking. She turned away from the canvas and moved to the uncovered side of the room. Toying with the diamond band of her ring, she eased it off her finger and laid it on the shelf carefully. She then toed off her shoes and swapped out her top for the T-shirt Samuel was supposed to wear. She might as well not let it go to waste. Dressed, she moved back over to the table, smiling as she saw Samuel was already hard at work. She was quiet as she collected her paint, loving the way the silence between them felt natural.

Samuel looked over at Mercedes as she changed her top, generally he hadn’t looked over because of her doing so. He was really trying to take in her features if nothing else for his painting. He licked his lips as he drew subtle lines for her upper half, getting his starting blueprint down. Looking at her again, he moved to his phone and pulled up his camera roll. He'd just use photos of her he had in his phone for a reference, that would be far easier.

Mercedes collected her paints, hues of blue and moved back the gigantic canvas the 5 cans of paint on the floor in front of the large canvas, her desire was to add color to the canvas until her feelings drew themselves. Or until she made the color brown. Which was always a possibility. She opened the blue paint and dipped her brush. She made the first mark across the page an aggressive brush stroke of dark blue. Hmm, she thought, adding another stroke of color. What was she going to create?

Samuel propped his phone up where it was in his view and out of hers, her skillfully began to paint the woman’s features in, starting with her almond eyes, before he worked his way into creating her perfect button nose. He asked what compelled him, deciding he’d take this moment to learn more of her but he knew he’d have to be slick with it. “20 questions?” he asked her with a smirk. “Unless I’d be ruining your focus at the moment…”

Mercedes moved to the next shade of blue, periwinkle. She took another brush and swirled on the canvas, adding depth to her vision. “This isn’t concentrating, it's falling with style.” she told him, laughing, turning to wink at him. “Ask away…” She said, bending to pick up more dark blue paint..

Samuel smirked at her comment as he picked up various shades of brown, some yellow, even red. He used it to build her complexion as he began to sculpt out her cheeks a little. “What is a memory you keep going back to?” he asked her, as he eyed her eyes. He moved back to her left one, fixing it.

Mercedes brushed on a thick glob of paint. It roughed up the picture making peaks and valleys on the canvas. “The first Christmas after my mother left my sister’s father. My mother went out of her way to make up for what she thought was us lacking. She brought us matchy matchy pajamas, with little candy canes all over them." She giggled, recalling how they look like Christmas hams in those tight fitting sets. "Christmas Eve, we stayed up late and watched It's a Wonderful Life. Then on Christmas morning, there were 4 presents from ‘Santa’.” She said, stopping to look over her work. “My sister got a cabbage patch doll. And I got Legos. Fitting… We were just a regular family.” she smiled abandoning her project for a moment, she pushed away thoughts of her step father… “Same question.”

Samuel painted over her eyes he’d have to fix the symmetry later, instead he moved back to her nose. He shaded what needed to be and added light in other places before he moved to paint her lips. Making sure he painted her perfect cupid's bow accurately, before he looked over at her. So much sadness was there in regards to her family, he’d have to expand upon that one day. Accompany her at their gravesite, find old photos of them to frame, paint them even? He nodded his head at her response, as she stated that it was her turn and he had to now answer his own question. He grabbed another brush. “Hm…” he thought “when I had my surgery” he told her honestly. His eyes were fixed on the panting as he decided what color he wanted to paint her lips “I thought I was going to die, and time after that I wish I had…” he shrugged. “I guess in the end of it all, I was glad to not have been cancer stricken… but the other issue is just as draining” he said a bit harshly he assumed after it left him. He licked his lips as leaned down a bit deciding he’d mix a color up. Maybe plum. “What’s the biggest lesson life has taught you?”

Mercedes turned to listen to Samuel holding the paintbrush a little too close to the side of her cheek. His truth made her feel just that much worse for her actions at the press conference. She chewed on her lip. Then stopped. Spit it out. That little nervous tick was becoming an annoying habit. Her eyes shifted to the ring where it sat, perfect dazzling even from so far away.

“You’re outstanding at other things.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “May I ask, what you were like in bed before this…”

Samuel mixed a few colors together on a palette to get the shade of plum that he wanted to use on her lips before he began to paint in her lips. She asked him a question he didn’t quite understand and he looked up at her confused “huh?’ he asked her. “What do you mean?” he chuckled lightly at her.

Mercedes didn’t waver. “Don’t play with me.” She told him, hands going to her ample hips. “You’re this." She said, gesturing towards him like Vanna White. "But you're something else entirely, in our bedroom. Have you always been so... Aggressive?” She smiled, biting her lip again.

Samuel stopped and looked at her again, he dropped the brush from the painting. He licked his lips and sighed, sitting the palette down against the table. “I guess so…” he said to her, blushing a bit at the statement. “I hadn’t really thought about it I guess….” he told her as he moved to paint in her lips more quietly.

“OH…” Mercedes purred, hand moving to rest low on her stomach. She eyed the man, going from one end of him to the other. “I may need to rethink the idea that I can’t be broken.” She shivered at the thought of him, but couldn’t decide if it was fear or want. “Let me see.." She said, pulling her eyes away from him. "You asked about the lessons I have learned. She went back to her painting. Taking a few strokes with the brush, she mulled her answer over for a moment, then said, “Basically, I've learned endurance is everything. That -and sometimes bad things do happen to good people.”

Samuel cleaned off his paint brush a bit and picked out another color he wanted to use to add more dimension and detailing in her lips. He looked up at her again and shook his head at her antics before looking back down. He didn’t really have a response for her though he felt like she was being quite amusing at the moment. “Mhm” he nodded at her as he guided the tiny brush with subtle strokes.

“I thought you were going to give me some pointers?” Mercedes said standing back again. “What do you think?” She asked, tapping her chin.

Samuel looked up at her again and sat his paintbrush down before he moved over to her. He looked at the canvas and smirked “not bad” he told her “you picked a huge one didn’t you” he said as he continued to look at it.

Mercedes shifted her weight from side to side, as she tried to decide if she liked her work or not. She felt Samuel approach, and move to the right to give him the best view of her artwork. 4 “It seems to be an ongoing trend.” She said winking at the man. “I was going for water, -waves… Is that what you are getting?”

Samuel looked at the side of her face before he looked back at the painting. “Yes, I see it” he told her with a head nod tilting his head a little “I like it” he complimented. He figured that was the look she was going for when he first saw it.

“You’re being kind. I’ll take it for the moment.” Mercedes went to her tiptoes and tugged at his collar, bringing him down to her height. She claimed her kiss softly, but released him a moment later. “My next question is… Who was your role model growing up?” She asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

Samuel kissed her back tenderly pulling away only when she did, “I am telling you the truth, I don’t know why you don’t ever believe me?” he asked her as he moved back to his current work. “Hm, my grandmother and grandfather, you’ll have to meet her sometime. My grandfather is no longer with us” he spoke. “She was always picture perfect to me… “ he breathed.

“Because you’re not being entirely truthful.” she shrugged. “It’s okay. I think i need to lighten the sky a bit.” Mercedes began pouring gray paint into the navy. She looked over to Samuel. “I’d like to. But I’m not sure. What if she doesn’t like me?”

“My grandmother isn’t like that” Samuel said honestly to her “she’ll love you simply for loving me” he told her. “What do you wish you could re-live?”

“Then I’d love to meet her. The next time you’re free we should go.” She finished mixing the paint, and moved to get another brush. “My first trip to Hawaii. I should have loved to stay longer " She responded matter of fact. “What makes you truly happy. Besides our child.” She said turn her brush on him challengingly.

“Of course, no problem” Samuel said to her as he switched to another brush adding more detailing as he moved back to repaint her eyes. He looked down at his phone for a moment before he looked up quickly at her “huh?” he asked her, confused. Maybe she meant a time before there’s. “What do you mean?” he asked her, needing understanding. Her question had an obvious answer but he reminded himself of who he was dealing with and said “you” to her. “And before you say it, I said what I meant and meant what I said” to her easily.

Mercedes giggled. “It was a beautiful island. I didn’t get to spend nearly enough time there.” She went on playing dumb. At his second response she rolled her eyes, dropping her arm. She should have known. She thought, pursing her full lips into a hard pucker. “I meant besides 'ME 'and Nouvel. What else? What makes you want to get out of bed?”

Samuel formed her cheeks, high and plump on the canvas, adding some shade and lighting. “I will take you back no worries” he told her, assuming he had to read between her lines. “Hm” Samuel said chuckling at her a little “I don’t know” he shrugged “life is a gift within itself” he said. “We are lucky to get up and experience another 24 hours with the people we love those most…” he told her simply. “I guess my short answer is the ability to do it all over again and choose different options and adventures.”

“You better. This time I’d like to at least pack a bag.” Mercedes snorted. She sat on the floor in front of her work and added in more white capped waves. “I’ve never thought of life quite like that before. Tell me something you like to do that you haven't yet.”

Samuel looked at her and nodded his head with a smirk “yes, I will allow you to do that” he told her before he sat his brush done. “I would really truly love to get married, to the love of my life” he said matter-of-factly. “However…” he trailed off.

Mercedes stiffened, caught off guard. “I’ve been thinking about that… Do you think it’s the right time for us to plan a wedding; Honestly, we haven’t even set a date yet..” She rambled. “-Big wedding -Or small. I don’t even know where to start.” She gathered herself, looking to the man, “Let’s set a date.” She said calmly.

“You know,” Samuel said, trying to gather his thoughts as he listened to her ramble. “We can’t put things off because of Exxon” he told her honestly “our lives have to still go on” he said. “Beyond that, if you need help we can pay for a planner to assist you” he said. “I thought when you get married your future wife puts all of her wildest dreams into one celebration and I just show up and pay” he chuckled. “Look handsome in my suit or tux” he said as he looked at the paint selections. “Let’s set a date” he repeated to her calmly, a smirk on his face. “You aren’t chickening out are you?” he asked next.

Mercedes nodded. Samuel was right, “I know… I worry that they will label me disrespectful and that will embarrass you somehow.” she shook her head, “No, I can handle it.” she tried to smile, actually she’d never dreamed of being a bride. So those plans had never entered her mind. “Tell me what you want.” She asked, wrapping her arms around her knees. “No, I'm not trying to back out. My sister was the kids and wife one. I was the work and take care of everybody one. I don’t really have a dream wedding in mind. Anyway, let’s set a date. April or June?

“Look, you and I don’t owe anyone anything. And no I would not get angry over that because again, life will still have to proceed. But if you think we should be focusing on that right now that is fine too babe” he said softly. “I want what you want babe” he stressed to her. He began to paint once more, one hand on his hip. “You are whatever you answer to, not what people label you” he told her “you don’t think you are the wife and mother material. However we have a beautiful child and I want you to be my wife so… in actuality you and your sister both are the married with kids one” he said. “February 14th” he said to her.

Mercedes closed her eyes and listened to Samuel. He ministered to her in that all to calm manner that he’d perfected. A benevolence she’d often wondered if he was born with. “I agree. I’m still concerned, but I agree.” Opening her eyes, she rose and walked over to him. “Oh… And if I’d say let’s go to the court house. You’d be okay with that too?” She asked Stepping in front of him. Her hands ran over his stomach, then stopped holding both sides of his shirt at his waist. “February 14th of next year sounds perfect. I’m going to marry you! Mr. Evans!”

“Stop being concerned” Samuel said to her simply, “I know it’s in your nature but...it doesn’t fix anything” he warned. “I wouldn’t deny you a courthouse wedding. It’s you and I right? That’s all that matters” he told him, swiping the brush against the canvas. She moved in front of him and stopped his task looking down at her “next year then” he told her as he leaned down to capture her lips sweetly. “Pinky promise” he said with a smirk lifting his pinky up at her.

Mercedes looked up at Samuel, through her lashes. Her big hazel eyes innocent. She bit her bottom lip a sly smile on her face. “Yes, sir.” She said quietly, the sly smile, giving way to a whole grin. She laughed, head shaking. “No… I don’t think the court house will do.” Air was a trivial thing. Especially, if the alternative meant not kissing Samuel. He broke the kiss, then asked for another kind of promise. Locking her pinky around his, she giggled and kissed his larger digit. “Promise.” She turned to look at the masterpiece he’d been working on. Paint still wet, the woman taking shape looked like her, but was far more beautiful. She covered her mouth with a trembling and leaned into Samuel's frame, as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. “It’s beautiful.” She said not because it was her, but because she knew this was how he saw her. Suddenly a year felt too far away.

Samuel looked at her and nodded his head gently as she swore to him. “I love you” he told her before she turned to take in his painting. “You looked too soon” he said with a slight chuckle before he looked at her face again “don’t cry” he said as he hugged her tightly to him. “Thank you” he said to her lovingly as he held her close to him.

#thread: 21 questions #thread.#samcedes rp

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