#me: nothing to heavy now

[meatballsander]

Decided to get silly and draw the inverse of the iconic "Victory Soldier" poster. And make it Heavymedic, of course.

Inspiration, progress pics, and alt versions under the cut

This poster! Always been a fan.

Initially I was gonna keep the same setting & color scheme, but the original poster distinctly has the top two thirds warm tones/bottom third cool tones. If I wanted to keep the piece cohesive it'd have to be RED Heavymedic vs BLU Soldier. And the more I thought about that the less it felt explicitly like Heavymedic fanart and more like propaganda for the RED team.

So I set it on Snowycoast! Its sky box and layout let me have cool top thirds/warm bottom third. Also it's one of the most beautiful maps in the game and I love drawing night scenes. Literally no downsides.

Progress pics!

Textless version, and an alt text version I made at the request of a friend:

And finally, since you've reached the bottom, some memes I made while working on it.

:)

#meatballsander art #tf2 #heavymedic #red oktoberfest #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #soldier tf2 #artists on tumblr #tf2 fanart #tw death #cw death #I guess? tbh I've been staring at Soldier's mug for so long it's nothing but funny to me. #hey now you're reading the tags I'm gonna tell you a fun fact. #about a month ago my wifi router went down unexpectedly and the only song I had downloaded was Kiss From A Rose by Seal. #and you know what happens when you're sitting for 35 minutes straight waiting for a wifi router to reboot #left with only Kiss From A Rose and your mind? #this heckin piece babyyyyy #anyway shout out to Seal and my shitty wifi provider for making this happen #lgbt #edited a few hours after posting because I spotted an error in the bg coloring... sigh

[barksbog]

i swear if you played disco elysium and your takeaway was "all ideologies are bad and nothing matters because we're all gonna die to climatechange the pale anyways"

i'm gonna force you to read "Sacred and Terrible Air" by Kurvitz

#i'm unwell #also the pale isn't a direct analogy for climate change Please that's the most surface level interpretation i am aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #this isn't aimed as much at people quietly enjoying the game as people loudly sharing their cold rancid takes #anyways there is a free translation of the book you can find online but heavy content warning on it #it's a rough one but a good one #point's at the “ghost” of communism saying “but i'm hope and without me there is nothing left” #i'm gonna walk my dog now and think about this the whole two hours now

[warriormoustache]

Got my first shrimp goby pair last week and this is my impression of them so far.

#Art #Fish #Fishblr #Fish art #My art #The fish is fine btw just a coward #Though I do think he might have gotten a small concussion from his two escape attempts #Jumped out of the tank literally at one in the morning and then an hour later at two in the morning it was a miracle I was awake during this #I have since covered the food holes in the lid with heavy objects #It gave me a heart attack on day two cuz I thought it was dead #I even poked it with a stick and it didn’t react at all #Luckily I left it in there and it was up and going about six hours later and has since been behaving normally #It is eating tho which is a good sign #Tested my paremetres and there’s nothing wrong with the water so ╮(╯_╰)╭ #Shrimp is delightful to watch #She explores the tank a lot and is super cute #Idk what the sex of the fish is but I’m pretty confident that the shrimp is a girl #Has snapped once and I was unprepared for how loud they actually are in person #The fish cuddles the shrimp with its tail and they’re super cute #They gave me a stress for a few days but everything’s stable now so #10/10 aquarium pets #Aquarium stuff

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

waking up means starting the day's long battle of fighting to stay conscious

#ough im so sleepy.... eepy even.... #i already slept so much but the couch is calling to me #'maybe a lil nap wouldnt hurt' < thats the demons talking #but honestly. what WOULD it hurt? its not like i have literally Anything going on in my life! #there is nothing i need to be awake for! #why shouldn't i doze. why shouldn't i.... #IM LOSING THE BATTLE #absolutely unprompted #i would like to scribble but im so tired... so sleepy... my eyelids are so heavy #just... just one little nap. an hour! or two. or five. lets go for a coma actually that sounds festive #a month long sleep should fix me (lie) #ill scribble some laughingstock later i prommy.... #awww wait tangent #my cat letti has started up a new game #where she shoves a toy under a shelf and then runs to the other side to try and fish it out from underneath #and then she shoves it back under rinse and repeat #she's so enthusiastic about it... practically throwing herself around as she bats the toy back and forth #oh nope she got it out and now she's tossing it around & playing cat soccer with it <3 #and i am going to go Nap. ive lost the battle <3 im waving a white flag <3 i surrender to diet death

[mommyashtoreth]

I am thinking abt goomens and gender stuff again bc quite honestly when am I not but I realized most of my very long thoughts could be boiled down into the sentence "Crowley is kind of a clocky broad and everyone hates her for it" so. Crowley is kind of a clocky broad and everyone hates her for it

#i May elaborate but also you should understand this inherently. i say this with absolutely nothing but love in my heart for her of Course #but in general goomer is very very good at revealing a lot of people's like. deeply rooted casual transphobia honestly LMAO #like i don't consider any nonhuman gomens characters to Be Trans in-universe but obviously out-of-universe there's an element #of transness. and the way people treat characters like crowley or beelzebub or muriel reaaaally reveals a Lot. and uh it sucks #people hate nonbinary people and especially hate nonbinary people who heavy quotes 'look male' or whatever. crazy! #open mick night #good omens #gomens #crowley #nanny ashtoreth #ineffable wives #i love clout i love clout. give me attention now

[drawingcrows]

csm x tf2 au, ft some Boys

#my art #tf2 #heavymedic #demosolly #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier #tf2 demoman #enemies to lovers heavymedic bc why not #soldier is Just power. nothing needed to be changed #heavy n demo are devil hunters who get to babysit a devil n fiend respectively #also im trying to draw men now pls be nice to me

[anti-spop]

"i think you and i are going to do great things together"

catra and shadow weaver basically say this in different situations. and yet the show suddenly drops all the parallels between them to make catra look better than sw in s5. why. why would you do that.

#i post #spop critical #rewatched s4e1 just now #after i rewatched the light spinner ep a while back... #it shocks me how they did NOTHING with these parallels #even though they were a heavy part of catra's arc #srsly

[vvizardz]

Look me in the eye and try to truthfully tell me that Eddie is not some sort of metalhead

#tssm eddie brock #I am currently plagued with the fact that people think metalhead means only bands from the 70s-80s #I think I will start jumping on people's shoulders now #ya know like Black Sabbath / Judas Priest / Iron Maiden / Mötley Crüe / etc... #there are more sub-genres than heavy metal you guys I'm begging you #also it's fucking 2008 in show #are you tryin to tell me that his ass dose not listen to nu metal ????????? #HAVE YOU SEEN THE MAN #the blonde spiky gelled hair and loose fitting pants combined with plain tee/tank + jacket combo mean nothing apparently #not to mention the street bike + gear #he wears leather boots everywhere he goes #not to mention the Venom theme ?????? #WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS NOT A METALHEAD #I actually feel like I'm going insane

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc. #especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you. #who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!' #like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

[wayward-wren]

Losing my MIND over this part from the Crusade novelization.

#wren rambles #classic doctor who #ian chesterton #barbara wright #me and WHO #i remember nothing of the original serial but i KNOW it wasnt as heavy on the ian/barbara content #and i am NOT COMPLAINING about the changes made for the novelization #GOSH. #doctor who bring back chivalrous male companions challenge #i greatly miss the Ian-Steven-Ben-Jamie genre of companion #i know the doctor often fills that role now #but MAN #the 60s era male companions are built different #'Ian had not failed her. she had needed him and he had come for her' #like GOSH.. #yearning hours #the way i literally kicked my feet and squealed when i read this bit

[ongsasuns]

guys this is going to sound really heavy? insane? but. first of all going on a hiatus. i’ll put the rest in the tags because idk. it feels really weird doing this but also unfortunately it is very very necessary at this point.

#nini’s nonsense #so i don’t really want to disappear on anyone and just to be clear. i am fine there’s nothing wrong with me personally but. life got fucked #real real fast and that’s why i’m leaving but. i’m doing a bi-weekly check in because the thing is. the moment those stop. you can all #unfortunately assume i’m not on this earth anymore #HA i feel insane typing that out but it is the truth of life atm so yeah uhm #this sounds so heavy and i mean. i guess it is. but yeah i also don’t want to just randomly disappear forever so this seems like the best #thing to do? sorry idrk how to deal with this yet so yeah. #maybe if everything turns to normal once more i’ll come back but i don’t see that happening anytime soon. #but yeah maybe. for now. i love you all dearly forever and always <3 #does this need a trigger warning? idk lmk #anyways let me pin this. #also pls don’t worry too much! my life is just being. well my life i guess this had to happen at some point. #also see you sept 1st!! hopefully!!

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter.. #i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over

[jungkxook]

in disbelief about moonbin💔

#I only pop back on here every now and then but I heard the news about moonbin and I’m in shock #i truly cant believe this #he was my bias in astro #i went through a big astro phase a few years ago and bin was my everything #this is so heavy and hard to comprehend #i went through this when jonghyun passed and it truly broke me #we all did #i would have never thought to be in a similar situation years later #i wish nothing but the best for his family and astro and every fan that’s grieving #bin our moon #i hope he rests easy

[killerandhealerqueen]

When you're trying to finish the damn fic but you can't get the last few words right...

rage and hatred

#sass talks about her writing #this fic is ALMOST DONE #but the ending does not want to come for the life of me #like i had an idea in my head #and then i wrote it out #and now i hate it #so now i'm trying to find a new ending #but i've got nothing #rage and hatred #heavy sigh #i will figure this out

[soldier-poet-king]

Everyone who said tattoos were addicting....y'all were right. It's been less than a week and I'm already itching (ha) to get more pieces added to my half sleeve

#the duality of fran #i think perhaps part of the problem is that i have been wanting this for SOOO long #and a combo of anxiety and finances and people pleasing prevented it #so now that ive overcome that intial mental hurdle and am not completely broke #its like. oh??? i have so much power??? #THE ABSOLUTE EUPHORIC RUSH OF MAKING DECISIONS FOR MYSELF FOR ONCE #REGARDLESS OF ANYONE ELSE'S OPINIONS. autonomy is one hell of a drug #anyway. sunflowers for the upper shoulder above my current piece #with more olive branches as connectinf foliage #BC i want it cohesive not patchwork sleeve #just in the sense of the vibe i want. i have nothing against patchwork sleeves i just want the sense of growth #and then on the inner arm. BEE with dandelions. forget me nots. probs some hellebore or elegantine to fill in the larger spaces #maybe lavender or periwinkle as a filler #have a whole list of plants that could be used as connective between the feature pieces #but yeah #bee and sparrow. i adore heavy handed symbolism and nature metaphors

[markiafc]

a good suicide narrative is very important to me tbh!

#me is mark #it's naturally heavy and sad #but it always comes with such an intense relief and comfort #when the characters do die in the end i sometimes find it unbearable #i couldn't watch the scene where xdq's father finds his body for the longest time #though now i can face it with ease and revisit that tragedy over and over again #in the face of ambiguous endings where the offscreen suicide is heavily implied #i also often choose to believe these characters have escaped somewhere far away and are free #because i want so badly for them to be alive #though if it's revealed explicitly that they in fact are in the better place and healing and happy #then the effect on me is lost and i'm no longer as compelled abhsdbhbsd #a story of survival is powerful #but nothing alleviates my soul like a hard-hitting suicide story it feels like