#me when i'm mentally ill

[lastofgallifrey]

twelve spending 4.5 billion years punching through a 20ft thick wall of azbantium, a material apparently 400x harder than diamond, dying repeatedly in the process, all so he could get clara back... like whether you see them as platonic or romantic you cannot deny that he quite literally loved her to death

#me when i'm mentally ill #he had a duty of care or something #funny ass way to say i love you so much i'd spend 4.5 billion years dying and destroy time itself so we could explore the universe together #there is a rot in brain that is just Them #they still get to me BAD #tears in my eyes #sobbed #sobbing #will continue to sob #doctor who #twelveclara #clara oswald #twelfth doctor #12th doctor #peter capaldi #jenna coleman #the doctor #whouffaldi

[autixel]

-here will save me. Why would you think that, Stanley? That this video game can be beaten? Won? Solved? Do you have any idea what your purpose in this place is? Aha, ahahahahaha, Stanley, you're in for quite a disappointment, but here's a spoiler for you: that timer isn't a catalyst to keep the action going, it's just seconds ticking away to your death. You're only still playing instead of watching a cutscene because I want to watch you for every moment that you're powerless, to see you made humble. This is not a challenge, it's a tragedy, you wanted to control this world that's fine, but I'm going to destroy it first, so you can't.

(my attempt at remembering a portion of The Stanley Parable's countdown ending)

#me when I'm mentally ill #anyways this is worming around in my head again #i need to redo the countdown ending #just to admire it /ref #i have an idea in my head but it'll take forever to finish #and besides i have obligations #the stanley parable #this message was brought to you by autixel

[faevin]

#bpd #borderline #actually bpd #i hate being myself #and i dont even know who i am #im sick of this #borderline things #me when i'm mentally ill

[joowee-feftynn]

the fact I've already seen most things in the pink diamond tag is crazy

#me when I'm mentally ill #joowee's chattering

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[lotus-pear]

dazai stop rizzing up the enemy challenge go!!

#i'm convinced the whole meursault arc is just a massive hangover dream fabricated by dazai💀 #when your friend group is small but you're all gay and mentally ill #literally all i could think about watching dazai waltz around with sigma and flirting with him nonstop was fyo and chuuya just going :/ #while watching them through the security cameras #honestly they slayed sokouku could never #no better way to spend your last thirty minutes alive than ballroom dancing with the enemy against their will #dazai and sigma's interactions are the only thing keeping bsd fans (me) sane atp #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #sigma bsd #nakahara chuuya #fyodor dostoevsky #sigzai #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[mroddmod]

"everybody loved contractors."

"nice."

#me when it's time to get mentally ill about another troubled father daughter duo #anyway i watched the show last year and ever since i wanted to play the game so i finally did #finished it like a month ago and then rewatched the show twice #so #i guess u could say i enjoyed it a fair deal 👍 #gonna start the second game soon #i know what's coming but i'm still not ready so i've been putting it off LOL #the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #my art #mods draws

[juieon]

found someone doing a group order for the sanrio merch in case they drop cute stuff

#me when i'm mentally ill

[rocketbirdie]

it would have been less gay if they'd kissed

#i'm still not over it. #don't even get me started on how earth-shatteringly mentally ill i'm going to be when we get a pc version with model swap mods. #oh god i'm doomed. #AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S GOING TO BE A PART 3?????!???!!?!!???!!???!!!! #zakkura #zack fair #cloud strife #rebirth spoilers #ffvii

[lastofgallifrey]

#beauty and the beast #if i close my eyes emma watson's voice turns into jenna coleman's #the only reason i listen to the beauty and the beast live action soundtrack #these verses are twelveclara coded to me #if u even care #i've connected the dots #mom i frew up #NEWWWWWW AND A BIT ALARMINGGGGG #actually if you squint hard anything can be twelveclara coded #me when i'm mentally ill #they are sooooooooo #too lazy to look for more screencaps #added the text (it is ONE sentence) and my motivation tanked so hard... i mean as long as i get my point across #doctor who #twelveclara #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #12th doctor #peter capaldi #jenna coleman #whouffaldi

[illiana-mystery]

🕺🕺

#this cleared my skin #and cured my mental illness #lol #i do look at this a lot when i'm sad though #because it makes me really happy #so don't mind me blessing your dash #hope it brings as much joy #as it did to me #😁😁😁😁 #poor things #interview #willem dafoe #mark ruffalo

[faevin]

tried so hard for my mother's love just to end up with a personality disorder and a crippling disinterest in living

#mommy issues #bpd #actually bpd #borderline #borderline personality disorder #eupd #me when i'm mentally ill

[fisheito]

Me: Everything i make is garbage i shouldn't even bother

The eiden in my head:

Me: Sorry eiden you're right my efforts have value

#any time i feel down about the act of creation #actually. any time i feel this way about... saying words in public too #when i'm typing up a comment anywhere on this site and the internal narration is constantly trying to stop me #with LOUD whispers of No one cares!! or even worse... people actively do not want to know ur thoughts!!! zip them fingerlips!!!!!! #during moments of struggle like this #i summon eiden like the powerful support assist he is #into my battle against myself #hey if he can fix kuya he can definitely fix me 😂 #he is a stellar therapist for the clan. so strong. how does he do it #a new coping mechanism!! next time you feel down about your work #imagine you're one of eiden's clan members #exhibiting Mental Illness #and he just gives u that empathetic loving look. with some weird combo of words that makes u feel infinitely better #love u eiden u damaged sweetheart ty for the cbt #eiden

[uncanny-tranny]

One thing that I always disliked about how people approach mental illness was to frame it as a grand battle, a battle you can lose to.

Obviously, this type of thinking absolutely gets applied to people who have gone through cancer, but I leave it to people affected by cancer to articulate how they feel about this, because it's absolutely not in my lane to talk about that part of this conversation. I talk about mental health because people (at least where I am at) also apply the logic to mental illness - especially if one has "lost" their battle.

It especially bothers me because in many cases, people conceptualize battle as something wherein both parties are full participants, that one participant can only win. Do you commemorate and respect the people who lose battles? Often not.

I know that many times, people use battle euphemisms in order to preserve dignity and (somehow) imply that the illness isn't their fault, but I just don't personally resonate with the idea that illness is something you "win" or "lose" at, that winning means something Grand, Big, and it's something which good people achieve. In my personal experience, it can feel like a battle, but it's completely different in how it operates as a "battle."

#mental health #mental health advocacy #cancer tw #cancer mention tw #i know people use those euphemisms to be respectful and i appreciate that... #...but i think we can do it better i suppose? #and i'm sure people will dosagree and that's the great thing about being people - we have the privilege of being able to disagree #i personally just found it... almost objectifying (not the correct word but that's how it feels) when people apply that to me #so i tend to avoid framing illness of any kind with battle euphemisms. i tend to think of it in terms of fluctuation

[lotus-pear]

what is childe doing in bungou gay dogs😟

#finally finished reading this manga after it sat on my to read list for a couple years #a good friend finally convinced me into reading it and i buckled and read the whole thing in three days (i'm not ok <33) #anyway she neglected to tell me childe was in it otherwise i would have read it sooner!!!!!! #NO NO HEAR ME OUT #murder gingers with dead blue eyes that are part of dark antagonistic organizations and happen to be executives in said organizations #relatively similar color palette and cocky confident personalities that are instantly shed when in the heat of battle #tragic pasts where both were mercilessly tormented until salvation occurred in the form of an invitation to their respective organizations #childe has so many siblings that one of them left and infiltrated another anime #i better not see any chuuya stans @ me in the tags and be like ''stop comparing zhongli's wallet to my pookie chuuya'' #i will fuck you up #i'm so sry to anyone who actually sat and read all the tags im so mentally ill abt this mf i can talk about him for hrs if given the chance #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #lotus draws

[blitzwhore]

It's always fun experiencing severe mental illness symptoms because of fiction, eh?

#helluva boss #Stolitz #helluva boss spoilers #helluva spoilers #I feel like I've finally managed to stabilise myself #Which is impressive. It's taken less than 24h. Thank you therapy #Last time a fandom left me emotionally in shambles (the last of us 2) it took me days to overcome the anxiety #Anyway the reason I'm talking about this is to hopefully give some visibility to the fact that this kind of thing can happen #When you struggle with mental illness #I'm not posting to vent or because I need help or anything! I'm fine! #But I do want others to know that it's okay if you're not fine because of something fictional you really care about and you're not alone #This is your reminder to think back to techniques that have helped you handle anxiety before if you're feeling shaken or on edge now #You got this!!!