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strawberryhazes · 7 years

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Study Abroad

Condensing my 6 months abroad and away from Penn won’t be easy, but…

Before:

I felt a little self-conscious telling people, “I’m studying abroad in Korea”, because I knew what kinds of reactions would follow:

“Why Korea?”

“Why don’t you go somewhere you’ve never lived before?”

“Oh…”

Ultimately though, despite the insecurity and the hesitation, I was excited to study abroad in a place I was so totally familiar with. Fall semester of my junior year was probably one of the roughest academically, so I wanted to take a breather. I was essentially going to turn my study abroad experience into a semester off whilst still earning credits to ensure that I would graduate on time.

At the same time, I wanted to make sure that I would have a productive semester, one that would ideally enable me to “find myself”. I heard good things from a Korean-American upperclassman who also studied abroad in Korea two semesters before me. Our intentions for studying abroad aligned: We both wanted to dig deeper into the “Korean” side of our identity.

The timing of my study abroad was a bit worrisome-- I would miss Hey Day and Spring Fling. BUT: Friends reassured me that these two Penn milestones were worth missing out on, especially if it meant spending time outside of the Penn bubble.

Pre-Academic Term: Internship

I like to joke to people that Penn took my soul. Someone recently told me, “That’s not even a joke though and it’s a real problem”. I was humbled from Day One by everyone who was smarter and better looking than me. I was set on pursuing a career in PR or fashion. Those career paths slowly became murkier as I realized people defined success by how much money you were earning at a bank or a consulting firm, or how you were saving the world with your medicinal skills.

When I arrived in Korea, I found myself eager to work before my semester took off in March. I missed being productive and almost even missed studying. I began interning at a luxury fashion and lifestyle magazine. From this internship, I learned a very important and obvious lesson: The people you work can make a difference in your experience. The office environment was cold and I was surprised that I didn’t receive any praise on work that I had spent days on. But the game changer was the opportunity to accompany the Fashion Director to the printing company, where we would spend hours and hours going through freshly printed issues to provide to the Editor-In-Chief and the head of the publishing company. In this hour and a half car ride, she told me about her personal life, and how work had taken up a majority of her life to the point where it interfered with her personal relationships. She also reminded me that most people stop giving you praise after high school. Despite the frigid working environment, my passion for fashion (ugh, I know I hate myself for writing this too) was reignited.

During:

I had to go to Orientation Day from work, so I was stuck in the car for almost an hour due to lunch hour traffic. This built some anxiety because I did not want to relive something comparable to New Student Orientation (NSO-- if you know, you know). I sat in a huge auditorium, thinking the abroad students would only take up maybe a third of the hall.

I was so wrong. Upon sitting down, streams and streams of students poured in, and I started feeling like a very minuscule fish in a vast ocean. A lot of the students seemed to already be acclimated with each other because of the international student dorm housing. I was living at home, so I didn’t really know anyone prior to actually starting the program. I could feel myself rolling my eyes as the orientation started, because I already felt like an expert on Korea. I felt a slow rush of doubt after the orientation-- Did I make the right move coming here?

Fast forwarding to the first day of class: I was taking two courses that were designated towards study abroad students, and two courses that were designated towards Yonsei students in general. Making friends in these courses wasn’t difficult: It was easy to distinguish those who were abroad students.

What I really wanted, though, was a cohesive group of friends who I could go out with and venture Korea with. I had about three to four friends per class, but I couldn’t see myself molding everyone together into a group. All of my friends already had set groups of friends to travel Asia with or go out with (or both).

The whole friend search changed when my good friend and high school classmate-- hi Joon-- introduced me to a church. The friends I made from the college fellowship eventually became my going out buddies (I know-- the irony).

I’m not sure if I should be proud of this feat, but I really immersed myself in the Korean going out culture. We went to 포장마차s, bars, lounges, and clubs. Lots of soju and 막거리 were consumed. As cheesy as it sounds, I started to gain my work-hard-play-hard mentality back. Back at Penn, freshman year was all play, sophomore year was all work, and junior year first semester was all work with little bits of play. Most importantly, I realized I was capable of enjoying myself while working really hard. I had forgotten what it felt like to believe in myself.

Apart from my own social life, I was beyond happy to be at home with my Mom and sister. I got to have my Mom’s cooking all the time. I didn’t have to clean up after myself. I got to watch my Mom chase her once abandoned dreams. I got to see my sister grow more as a young lady (she is literally taller than me). I got to be there for her when the stresses of being a second semester junior in high school piled up. I got to watch her achieve above and beyond: She won her cheer competition and got 6 awards-- for her academics, sports, and overall outstanding citizenship. The comforts of home are something I definitely grew to love and appreciate as I was abroad. It reminded me that no matter how grown up I seem to myself, there is a lot more growing up to do.

In terms of immersing myself more in Korean culture, I didn’t travel Korea as much as I wanted to. I actually didn’t travel outside of Korea because my schedule didn’t align with my friends’. In hindsight, I feel bad for complaining about “being stuck in Seoul” because of my love that’s grown for the city.

I wish I could document every single moment, but that would turn this post into a full-fledged essay.

Post-Study Abroad: Reflections

I have 0 regrets about studying abroad in Korea. I have a little regret from not listening to the previous study abroad students who warned me about liver damage.

I didn’t do anything incredibly life-changing and didn’t meet the love of my life, but all the experiences I had during my time abroad really added up to something incredible.

*I do have a brief shoutout to everyone who really helped me out*:

Family first, of course. I am eternally grateful to my parents for feeding me and for making sure I was taking the time off that I needed. My sister was always there for me and helped me grow more as a person (she is, of course, much more mature). My sister would have a glass of water waiting for me on the table every time I got back from a night out. My grandparents’ love means the world to me, and hopefully I can pay them back in the near future.

Irene is always there for me. She was there for me when I suffered at my internship, there for me when I was worried I would have no friends, and there for me after my study abroad term. She was genuinely happy for me and really wanted me to regain the confidence and light that I had lost at Penn.

Joon is also there for me. He’s the kind of friend that asks you really deep and insightful questions to help you think clearer, and to articulate what’s really on your mind. I always joke that he’s my pseudo gay best friend or pseudo boyfriend. Thanks for always bailing on me, Joon.

My girl gang: You guys are so fun-loving and for that I am so grateful.

I want to make it very clear that my study abroad experience was not all play and booze. Though I didn’t “find myself”, I was able to re-energize and reestablish confidence. I never thought I would say this, but I’m now excited to go back to Penn for my senior year.

#study abroad #travel #blog #thoughts #reflection #study #living abroad #mine

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