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theflyingfeeling · 5 months

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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

#blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #ollixallu #24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling #<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw #everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone #one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3 #probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol #anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3

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bisaster-energy · 4 months

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im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...

#kuwameshi #give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like #WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU...#i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3 #based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates #i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko #kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together?#AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!!#and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro #and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them??#as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally #not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo #anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke #but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward #planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing #and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara?#keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here?#i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him #cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he #catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch #a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko''#and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans #you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call #kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and #yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something

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nikito0x · 3 months

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Figured out I was somewhere on the aromantic spectrum and suddenly all my hatred of harem fics, fast burns, and romantic relationship fics that are nothing like friendships makes a whole lotta sense.

What a thing to write about on Valentine's day.

#anyway can someone rec me some good platinuc relationship fandoms? and fairy tail fics that aren't too focused on romance?#or maybe sth with adventure & action in it? one piece has been really great on all of those counts actually #maybe I'll go reread sth from there...#ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction #ffn #aro #lgbtq community #aromantic #i dont even know #genre preferences #valentines day

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ifyougoillfollow · 1 year

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as we sink into the open sea

M/F, Gen | QPR MicNight | 1720 words | Selkie AU CW: Depiction of Suicide Attempt (non-graphic)

On the eve of his nineteenth birthday, Yamada Hizashi walks into the ocean and comes back with a wife.

Please understand, that wasn't his intention. Yamada Hizashi is not the kind of man to believe in tales of sirens and sea wives, and he is especially not the kind of man with dreams of snaring one for himself. He is, in point of fact, not a man of any dreams at all. Not anymore.

So he walks into the ocean, figuring that if he can't find the will to keep dreaming, then he can at least find some peace at last. He finds a wife, instead.

Or rather, she finds him.

She finds him as his body hits the sea floor, at the very moment the first wave of doubt rolls over him in one fell, unrelenting swoop, much too late for him to do anything about it. He's so overcome with it he doesn't think much of the figure that glides out of the ocean murk and sidles right up to him. Wide, shark-bright eyes peer at him, so close they fill up his entire swimming, pin-pricking vision, and all Hizashi can think about is how soon he's going to die, and how he’s not so sure he wants to die after all, and how little what he wants matters in this final moment, as in all the rest before it, and then the figure places one cold hand on his colder cheek and kisses him. She's all Hizashi can think of, then.

She's dark-haired and beautiful. And strong. And a good swimmer, too, but that's to be expected. She drags him back to shore, lips locked tight over his the whole way, and she doesn't let go until his lungs are clear of ocean brine.

Hizashi lies there, alive and silent on the cold, wet sand for a good while after. Long enough for the first hint of morning blue to blush over the horizon. The sea maiden lies with him, just as alive, just as silent, and infinitely more at ease. Cozied right up to his side, as if she belongs there, seemingly content to remain there for however long Hizashi has left on this Earth now that she's saved him. Try as he might, he can't figure out whether he's grateful or not. He does, however, remember his manners, on occasion, so when he finally finds his voice again, he uses it to thank her.

"You're welcome," the sea maiden replies. There's laughter in her voice. Hizashi doesn't know what there is to laugh about, though he finds himself wishing she'd actually done so, just so he could hear it. He used to love laughter. Impossibly, he still does.

Yamada Hizashi had a knack for making people laugh, once. It was all he knew how to do, really. He doesn't know much of anything now, least of all how to make the sea maiden in his arms laugh, so he says nothing.

The sea maiden in his arms says nothing either, at first, for just long enough Hizashi startles when she does speak: "Is that it?"

"Pardon?"

"Is that all you're going to say?"

"... Is there more I should be saying?"

"There must be." There it is again – the laugh in her voice. "You don't strike me as the quiet type in the least."

That's what it is – she's teasing him. It's much too familiar to do anything but rankle. "Listen, Miss –”

She snorts. "Nemuri."

"Listen –” his face burns as he realizes that's her given name, and he refuses to say it "– listen, I'm grateful to you for saving me and all, but you don't know anything about me."

She peels away from his side. "Liar."

"Pardon?"

"You're not grateful at all," she grunts through an impressive stretch, current-strong arms flung upward and out towards the heavens. She's wearing a sealskin cape and nothing else, and is so unembarrassed by it Hizashi can't muster up any on her behalf. She winks at him. "But you will be," she adds. Then: "Take off your clothes."

"Pardon?"

This time she does laugh – seagull-like – loud and sharp and to the point. "Well, I don't know much about land folk, but it's my understanding you don't handle being wet all that well."

Hizashi wraps his arms around himself, scowling. "I'll be fine."

"Suit yourself."

The sea maiden stands – or at least tries to. She heaves herself upward in a motion that would probably be fluid underwater, then loses her balance, toppling backwards onto the sand, rump first. The sight of her glaring down at her legs is almost enough to pull a laugh out of Hizashi.

"Stupid things," she grumbles, kicking up sand.

Hizashi does laugh, then, which is a mistake. The sea maiden stands, suddenly sure-footed in her indignation, and uses her newfound mastery over her lower appendages to kick sand in his direction.

Hizashi cannot stop laughing. He laughs until his new companion loses interest in burying him under sand. He laughs until the sun finally frees itself from under the weight of the horizon. He laughs until he almost forgets he just tried to kill himself.

When he's all laughed out, the sea maiden is still there. Sitting across from him, hands and feet planted firmly in the sand, peering at him with a smile so dry it's a wonder she doesn't hail from land herself.

Without a word, she stands again, solid and steady, all remaining traces of sea legs gone, and hauls Hizashi to his own significantly less steady feet. While he's still reeling from... all of it – the strength of her hands around his, the seafoam-salt smell of her filling his impossibly pumping lungs, the laughter still clanging through every hollow part of him – the sea maiden takes her sealskin cape and drapes it over Hizashi's shoulders.

It's soft and musky and so warm it feels more alive than he does, but, most of all, it's heavy.

Hizashi tries to shrug it off. "Thanks," he says stiffly, "but I said I'm fine."

"I heard you," says the sea maiden, rearranging the cape around him.

"I don't need it."

"I know."

She fastens the cape closed around his neck, patting his chest firmly. It's so long it covers Hizashi all the way down to his shins. On her, it must have just brushed over the sand at her feet. The uncanny warmth of it doesn't seep even as the seafront breeze hits it, makes it flap and flutter around him in a heavy, even bump-bump, bump-bump beat. Nothing could ever hope to reach him past that beat and that warmth.

"I don't want it, either," he lies, because he has to, because he's never known what to do in the face of so much want, because he's always wanted too many things, and he's wanted them too much.

"Neither do I," says the sea maiden, breezy as the morning. "Maybe we should leave it here, lying around. I'm sure no one else would find it, if we hid it well enough."

Hizashi blanches at the thought. He may not be the kind of man to believe in tales of sea wives, but he has heard enough of them to be wary of the kind of man who does. He fumbles for the clasp at the base of his throat. "Just take it back. Go home."

"Hm, I don't think so." She sidesteps his attempts to foist the cape back onto her, walking away backwards, hands clasped behind her head. "I think I'll stick around here for awhile. Explore the land realm. It seems exciting."

Hizashi chases after her, cape held out like a net. "It isn't."

She twirls away again. "Liar."

"It's too exciting, then. Dangerous."

"So is the ocean – didn't stop you from walking into it."

"That was –" Hizashi falters, loses his footing "– different," he finishes lamely, hands fisted in the sand-soiled cape caught under his knees.

The sea maiden stands over him. "You're right," she says, "that was different – I'm not going into this trying to die. I'd say that alone makes my odds of survival look pretty swell, don't you think?"

Hizashi stares up at her, looming tall against the dawn sky, so tall she dwarves the rising sun itself, and has no doubt she'd survive even the drying of all seven seas if it meant she got to live.

"You're naked," he says, because he's running out of arguments, and the will to keep making them.

"I wouldn't be if you gave me your clothes,” she shoots back, “I gave you mine, didn't I? It would only be fair."

The cape is velvet-smooth as Hizashi slides it out from under himself, warmer still from the heat of his body and the sun-washed sand, which slides off of it like ocean spray from mossy seaside cliffs. His sea maiden – Nemuri – takes it from him and helps him back to his feet. She folds it over her arm, as if merely holding on to it for the moment, and arches an expectant eyebrow at him.

Sighing, Hizashi shrugs off his coat. "Yes,” he relents, “I suppose it would only be fair."

On the dawn of his nineteenth birthday, Yamada Hizashi walks into town with nothing but a sealskin cape on his back and a wife.

Or so the townsfolk like to tell it, because the townsfolk love a good fairy tale romance almost as much as they love to pity him. In time, they will come to pity him even this moment and his sea-wild wife, as outrageous as she is beautiful, as the very ocean itself, and Yamada Hizashi will do what he has always done in the face of undue pity, which is to laugh in it and continue loving whoever and whatever he loves, in whichever way he sees fit.

But that will come later. For now, in the rosy light of a dawn he never planned to see, Hizashi walks into town beside Nemuri, the sea maiden who saved his life – the woman who will be called his wife and be so much more – and is content enough to have finally figured out he’s grateful, even if he has yet to figure out much else. The rest will follow, he’s sure, in good time and – even better – good company.

#yamada hizashi #present mic #kayama nemuri #midnight #micnight #qpr micnight #i wrote a thing #mermay #cw: suicide #it feels weird adding such a heavy content warning given that this is not a heavy story overall but better safe than sorry #anyway surprise mermay fic everyone!#it's me i'm everyone #this fic blindsided me ngl but i quickly grew obsessed with it and needless to say i got Lore #lore that i refused to even hint at in the fic because i Do Not need any more long form wips and i do love me a good one-shot #but who knows maybe one day i'll revisit this au i do so love it #also decided to post the whole fic here instead of just doing my usual ao3 link thingy because i recently locked my fics to registered user #-only because of the whole ai fuckery going around lately which y'know sucks #but this way anyone who wants to read it but doesn't have an ao3 account can do so through here so hopefully that helps #anyway #enjoy loves <3

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rose-n-gunses · 5 days

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writer's block going crazy u guys

#may never write again i fear!#i open the doc. i look at the doc. i hate the doc. i close the doc.#*stewie crying in bed gif*#i did have an idea for something!#but then a quick look at ao3 tells me that something similar with a nearly identical title (lyrics from the same song) already exists!#so that killed my buzz #i havent read that one so idk how similar they really are except the pov and the title #but still. aaa #i would say i'll just go to sleep and try again tomorrow but i do that every day and it does not seem to help #maybe it will this time who knows 😞😞#irl #just r's thoughts

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piningprecussionist · 2 months

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(ooc)

was just gonna be sneaky quiet for the day but I saw that I got another ask, so I figured I'd post somethin-

Weird writing day for me! That's why I haven't answered anything or gotten back to any threads yet. Trying to do art in the meantime; sorry for any delays y'all

#admittedly the not in standard continuity stuff is coming a bit easier but im just having a weird words day #so im trying to get myself to sketch or vaguely expand on au stuff for now #id try to work on fics but it is kinda just generally a weird words day i think. i couldnt continue the sckimona one at least (which i +#+really need to do before AO3 deletes that...)#i'll try another round of reply attempts tomorrow. if it doesnt go well expect art probably shdfkjshjlg #ooc #txt #(on that note. tentatively. you m i g h t be able to request things from me. maybe. you have a greater chance of me indulging you if it's +#+revolving around The Girls of course)#((meaning any of them. any of the scott pilgrim girls. that includes scott /hj))

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izzy-b-hands · 5 months

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Brain says wamt write, but I open writing program and words go away

what fuck

#text post #full disclosure i struggled so hard to fall asleep last night i wound up sleeping on my floor post T shot #bc i couldn't convince myself I'd earned a shower (i took it just recently after waking up instead tho) or to lay in my bed #and all i want is to get any of the ideas I've been having down on the page concretely #or to finish one of my drafts and post it #or to get the stuff I've only posted here up on my ao3 too #however i work later today and rn my body hurts and my brain is once again on the kick of 'lets think abt all ur traumas at once'#so i fear i am not going to be as productive as i want #if i get thru my shifts and can help Housemate get some dinner squared away I'll call it a win for today #i feel like I'm keeping the bar too low for myself but whenever i put it higher i wind up not meeting it one hundred percent #and then i just feel terrible so. idk. im trying. once again. day in day out #really just wanna go hide in the midwifery charge au but alas i cannot merge myself into a fictional universe #but maybe tomorrow i can get some writing done for it

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fairydustedtheory · 10 months

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#almost opened ao3 to read fic today and that feels like a huge step in my mental health #felt like something to share on here #even though i'm not sure anyone cares #but like an 'almost' is one of these small wins i need to see and acknowledge because otherwise... you know #no win ever is pretty shitty #ha #personal #maybe one day i'll open ao3 for real and maybe one day actually read something #or probably i'll go to podfics first because it did save me before and could save me again #anywayyyyy

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breaddo · 8 months

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brainrot crossed to think about dw au again today so now you get dw au art icon for the next two months until i change it. its my blog my decor

#it's my only weapon if bo/jere overtake mm for real on ao3 im not kidding about going back into the trenches #actually i forgor i got a th invite code months ago and i just made my avatar dw au art ermal 😭😭#haven't even added anything yet bc i'm ass at coding maybe i'll get to adding an oc one of these days

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jackgoodfellow · 2 years

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I've been viewing your Red Dwarf Pokemon AU and I love it. I just have a question: In that Universe, are Simulants and GELFs the same as in the original universe, or is it like Cyborg Pokemon and GELFs which are genetically engineered Pokemon (a bit like Mewtwo)?

Omg this is like my second ever ask!!! 😊

Simulants and GELFs are the same as they are in the original universe, but they all have thematically appropriate Pokémon too!

That way there can be Pokémon battles beyond Lister's Snorlax absolutely trouncing Rimmer's Snivy for the 100th time (after Rimmer demands a battle for the 100th time).

In some episodes, they run into Pokémon that are companions to other sentient life forms, and sometimes they run into planets full of wild Pokemon they've never seen before!

Other times, Pokémon on the ship start causing problems:

Lister leaving trash everywhere has resulted in way more Grimer than the ship can sustain and they need to find a trash planet for them to live happily in.

Magnemite have gotten into the ship's engine and are causing increasingly bizarre malfunctions.

A Ditto with sunglasses is out to cause problems by impersonating the ship's crew! Stuff like that!

Every once in a while, they can run into a legendary Pokémon. Which would be hilarious because the boys (with the exception of Kryten) are completely incapable of speaking to a majestic elder god with anything approaching the proper amount of respect!

They do probably run into a Mewtwo (or Mewtwo-like situation) at some point and then they have to deal with an angry super-intelligent, super-powerful, genetically engineered, malevolent Pokémon with major emotional issues.

It'd make for a great multi-part episode or movie special, and I picture it happening shortly before Rimmer goes off to be Ace (whereupon he will achieve the character growth we all deserved to see in canon)!

Early in the special, Lister's kindness is what first plants seeds of doubt about the value of cruelty in the Mewtwo creature's mind.

As the plot progresses, it seems more and more like a heartfelt speech from Lister might solve the whole thing.

But then, Lister is knocked out or temporarily turned into stone during the climax, and it is suddenly up to RIMMER of all people to make a last-ditch appeal to Mewtwo's sense of love and kindness!

("Well! We're doomed!" chirps the Cat, from whatever psychic prison he is stuck in. Kryten, who at this point has been reduced to his eyeballs by a psychic blast, somehow manages to nod in agreement. (But what they don't know is that I, Jack! am the one writing this special! And I am a very specific kind of writer.))

Rimmer looks at the possibly-dead Lister... looks at himself... and then looks at the furious psychic being killing them all...

And he ends up making an impassioned speech about how Lister doesn't deserve this. ("Maybe I do. Maybe even the Cat and Kryten. but not Lister.") About how Lister keeps seeing bits of good in everyone, even Rimmer. Lister even saw good in Mewtwo!

("Please... he's... he's a good man. Yes, he's a disgusting, childish idiot with less brain cells than dead liver cells, but he's a good person. Look into his brain. You have to see that. That has to count for something.")

This is the first time in the series we've seen Rimmer say something nice about Lister. The Cat and Kryten are dumbfounded.

And no one is more surprised than Rimmer that it actually works.

#red dwarf #see jack talk #lister hears about what Rimmer said that day later when rimmer is off being ace and the cat casually mentions it #so much heartache #man remember the holoship episode where rimmer displays a genuine selfless act of kindness for the very first time??#and how they set up the ace arc to be like an obvious evolution of his character???#aND THEN THEY JUST #SEASON 8 #ajeowkxjqi dhajflshakdlf 🤬🤬🤬#still one of my favorite shows but this will drive me slowly to insanity over the course of my life #thank goodness for the fanfiction that actually fleshes out the fucking character #also I hear he's really great in the books though I don't know if they actually finish his character arc at any point #I'll get around to reading those someday #red dwarf Pokémon au #maybe someday I will write a story with characters who remind me of them and I will write this arc the way I wish it was #it wouldn't be the first time #the only drawback is I'll never get the original actors as they were in 1980 or whenever that show started.#but I guess it was never going to be gay back then anyway..... or at least not overtly gay....... or at least not intentionally overtly gay #they did give us that Moonlight speech. that is truly good food. also very fucking gay #anyway i am a good writer and everyone should read my free graphic novel on ao3 byyeeeee #i lied i have more to say: RIMMER ONLY EVER NEEDED SOMEONE TO BELIEVE IN HIM AND HIS CHARACTER WORKS BEST WHEN THIS ACTUALLY WORKS #Lister makes rimmer a better man by believing he can be one. repeatedly. stubbornly. stupidly. against all odds.#Lister never stops believing it. it is a beautiful love story if you know where to look (and what to reject wholesale)

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fortune-maiden · 2 years

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Sicktember Day 16

Day 16: Care Package

Fandom: TGCF

Characters: Ling Wen, Pei Ming, Shi Wudu, assorted martial gods

The court session was about halfway through when they noticed Ling Wen was missing. An argument leading to a contradiction leading to another argument about the contradiction would normally have been settled by her, meticulous and attentive, recollecting the earlier statements either from memory or from her detailed notes.

When the argument wasn’t stopped this time and instead continued on to multiple derails and shouting matches, someone who had finally had enough shouted for her to check the records only to turn and find the civil god by Jun Wu’s throne was unfamiliar one, who stood wide-eyed and stammering.

The previous matter was swiftly concluded, if only because no one present had any further interest in continuing it. Faced with the realization that their usual scribe was absent, the heavenly officials present suddenly had a much more interesting topic to discuss. Bewilderment was voiced, accusations were thrown, and once again the court threatened to descend into chaos until Jun Wu cleared his throat.

“Ming Guang,” he called out in his steady authoritative tone. “Where is Ling Wen?”

The Emperor’s voice carried neither criticism nor inquiry, leaving it a mystery whether he too failed to notice the absence, or whether he was aware and inviting Pei Ming to explain for the rest.

Which version each heavenly official believed was a matter of personal cynicism.

There was no doubt however that Pei Ming knew the answer, having stood calmly and silently the whole time. His name called, he raised his head and said, “Taking a sick day.”

The court went silent for a moment.

Then,

“Impossible! Heavenly officials don’t get sick days!” Heaven’s number one cynic, Mu Qing, shouted. His comment echoed a number of his fellow officials’ thoughts and murmurs of agreement rose up.

Not all shared his disbelief.

“Is it serious?” Lang Qianqiu, alert for the first time that day, asked. “Lord Ling Wen is the most diligent of us. I have never once heard of her missing a session of the court.”

Excluding the Emperor, she was the only one who could claim such a feat. A smaller faction raised their voices in agreement with him. In a typical fashion, they began to speculate what sort of malady could put the top civil god out of commission.

Sensing Jun Wu’s gaze, Pei Ming raised his hands in deference and turned.

“It’s nothing serious. She’ll live,” he said. “This Pei asks that you overlook this on account of her past merits.”

“Health takes priority,” Jun Wu replied, silencing the previously dubious whispers. “We can resume when she is better.”

The substitute civil god’s shoulders slumped in either relief or disappointment, and that should have been the end of it, but with such an unexpected topic, not everyone was in a hurry to leave.

Instead Pei Ming was barraged with questions.

“What are the symptoms?”

“How long before she makes a full recovery?”

“She will make a full recovery, right?”

“General Ming Guang, how did this happen?”

“What care is she receiving now?”

“Has the god of medicine been informed?”

Rarely was Ling Wen ever at the center of such attention. Heaven’s number one cynic couldn’t help but comment.

“Listen to all of you. Moments ago you didn’t even notice she wasn’t here,” Mu Qing remarked. “What use is there in bothering General Pei with all these questions now?”

Feng Xin snapped, “What’s your problem? At least some of us can show concern for a sick colleague.”

“Oh? Will your concern make a difference?”

“You –

“No, General Xuan Zhen is right,” unexpectedly, Lang Qianqiu spoke up with a stern expression. “General Ming Guang, my palace recently received some rare herbs. You should take them back with you.”

“Oh! That’s a good idea!”

“What we need aren’t words, but actions.”

“I’ll send something as well.”

“Me too!”

“General Pei, take this –

Despite the earlier dismissal, the Great Martial Hall remained lively for some time as the martial gods discussed the situation in a harmony that was rarely witnessed across the three realms.

Ling Wen would never believe it.

****

“I don’t believe it,” Heaven’s number two cynic said in a clipped tone. When all that elicited from Pei Ming was a brash laugh, Ling Wen lifted her head from her pillow to fix him with a glare. Vertigo spots danced around him.

“Okay, fine, there was still a lot of herding cats involved, but compared to the usual, it was still almost peaceful. A true rarity.”

“Sorry I missed it.”

“So are they.”

Ling Wen tried to picture the scene Pei Ming described, but her imagination failed her. At best she could only picture the argument that drew notice to her absence and the poor substitute civil god scrambling to keep order. Once again she regretted letting Shi Wudu talk her into skipping the session.

“How they looked doesn’t matter. What matters is they weren’t all talk,” the conspirator in question remarked somewhere out of her immediate view, rustling through some boxes. Rare pills, herbs, teas, comfort foods, home remedies people swore by made up their contents. “Heh, I had always pictured General Xuan Zhen a cheapskate, but he’s surprisingly thoughtful. I’ll go brew some medicine.”

“Don’t,” Ling Wen snapped jolting upwards. “Those gifts need to be properly recorded and stored.”

“Pei Xiu can do it.”

“He can, he can,” Pei Ming agreed, gesturing for her to relax and lay back down, and for once not protesting his junior being volunteered for odd jobs. “Little Pei was also worried. He sent something with the rest. It’s… somewhere.”

Ling Wen craned her neck to the impressive pile of gifts that had been sent to her. She needed to get up and deal with it. She wasn’t someone to admit defeat over a little headache and she said as much.

“And how many headaches have you had where you couldn’t even open your eyes from pain?” Shi Wudu quipped. They were past that point now thankfully – Shi Wudu’s habit of imposing his will may have been annoying in the best of times, but in the worst of times, it was as dependable as he was. It wasn’t an accident that Ling Wen called him before, even if she hadn’t really expected him to rush over and corral her to her bed.

If anything, he was the one she expected the care package from. And then maybe a short visit from Pei Ming at some point to confirm she was still alive. Nothing else.

“Don’t make that face. This is the least they could be doing.”

“Shuishi-xiong’s right. Aren’t you the one always complaining about all work and no rest? Now your usual headaches have subsided to give the big one a chance to heal. Take advantage while you can.”

Ling Wen craned her neck, looking over to where Shi Wudu stood with the various gifts. Her gaze swept over each box, adding them up. Each one from a martial god she assisted on many an occasion. It was a little touching to think they cared so much, even if a small bitter voice insisted the gifts were a demand to get better and get back to work.

“What’s wrong with accepting a little care every now and then? The truth is the other officials really are worried about you and want you to be well.”

“Which is all the more reason to take your time recuperating. Stop thinking about things that don’t matter and rest.”

She didn’t have Pei Ming’s optimism or Shi Wudu’s pragmatism, but at times like this she really wanted to.

Maybe she really was worse off than she thought.

Easing some of the tension in her shoulders, Ling Wen readied to ask about the things the others sent, when she noticed the grin on Pei Ming’s face.

“I hadn’t even told you the best part! Qi Ying went down to slay a dragon to get you it’s blood.”

On second thought, no. The pain that crossed Ling Wen’s face was not from her headache. She sat up.

“I’m putting a stop to this.”

Shi Wudu was at her side at once, blocking her with his fan.

“No you’re not. Pei-xiong will take care of it.”

“He will, he – hey!”

#sicktember 2022 #tgcf #ling wen #pei ming #shi wudu #fortune's fanfics #tian guan ci fu #i wrote a thing?#Heaven Official's Blessing #i'm....not super happy with it tbh which is why i'm posting here instead of ao3 #i just want ling wen to be cared for #and appreciated.#i like how the first half of the fic turned out with the court circus #but the second half was a struggle #maybe i'll rework this one day and then put on ao3 #but i hope you enjoy? at least the first part?#oh an dragon blood is believed to be able to cure anything hence why qyz is looking for it #he means well but this is probably going to cause a lot of paperwork

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darkforestwarriors · 9 months

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having conniptions at 3am as I realize that my only fully finished and realized fanfics are a one shot warrior cats vampire AU and a long ass one piece self insert shipfic that no one other than me will ever lay eyes on (probably?)

why am I like this help

#useless text post #I find myself writing almost exclusively self insert actually which I don't care if people find cringe but even so I find myself unable to #release them into the wilds #I have a couple non self insert-y ideas but its so hard to get. into the headspace to write them #or maybe I take them more seriously?#but then again I took my two longest self insert fics pretty seriously too so idk I guess i'm stuck unable to pass the embarrassment barrie #the embarrier as you will #secretly part of me does want to go ahead and post them now that I have an AO3 account but also the worries #what if peopel see them?#but even worse I think somehow is if I knew lots of people did see them and just ignored them I would fucking die #But like ...my tastes. are very formulaic and also specific #what if they bore people? On the other hand: What if they're exactly what someone has been looking for #im overthinking all this LMAO #I don't think im brave enough to do it tonight but maybe. maybe one day I'll be bold I'll be brave etc etc.#cringe on main blah blah #no one will read my inane word vomit tags anyways what am I worried for #(pleas validate me)

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laudsimogen · 1 year

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This Hunger, It Isn't You (Ch. 9)

Read on AO3

Laudna knew she should be paying attention to their surroundings, looking out for the Plague in case she snuck up on them, but she couldn’t stop herself from glancing back at Imogen every few seconds. Something about her kept Laudna’s heart beating faster than usual, and she could feel her pulse in her hand through Imogen’s grip on it.

This was special. Maybe it wouldn’t be to anyone else, but it was to her. The kindness Imogen showed her was already more than she ever expected, and far more than she deserved, and yet there was more than that. Imogen wasn’t being nice for niceness’s sake; she cared about Laudna. She wanted her safe. And perhaps the most puzzling thing: the trust. There had been no uncertainty when Imogen had asked to go back alone with her to her cabin, no hesitation in inviting her to sit close. She acted as if Laudna couldn’t kill her at a moment’s notice if she wanted, because she knew she wouldn’t. There seemed to be no doubt in her mind that she was safe with Laudna.

She tried not to think about how much lonelier she would feel when Imogen went back to the campfire. Before, she hadn’t had much to miss in her solitude, but now she feared she would spend every moment of it longing for more time with her new friend. Her best friend. She knew it was silly to use that term when Imogen was, in fact, her only friend, but it felt nice. Warm, even in the cold of the Fog.

But she would worry about that later. Now, she could see the Plague’s temple in the distance, which meant they were getting close. The unpleasantly sweet stench of sickness was growing stronger as well, and Laudna tried hard not to show her disgust on her face. It wouldn’t do to be rude to someone whose space they were already encroaching on.

“Should we go in?” Imogen whispered as they reached the temple’s entrance. “I don’t know much about holy places.”

“Me neither,” Laudna said. “Maybe if I just—” She cleared her throat, then called in the friendliest sing-song voice she could muster, "Hello, Miss Temple Lady! We'd like to speak with you!"

There was silence for a moment, and then a bout of coughing echoed through the chamber. It was hard to pinpoint the direction from which it came, but moments later, a figure appeared from the shadows of the staircase leading up from below the temple. The smoke of the Plague's censer shrouded her form, but the scent of jasmine and orange blossom did nothing to mask her illness. She gripped the chain in her rotting hand, and Imogen tensed beside Laudna, but didn't move as the Plague drew nearer without a word.

"We've come as friends," Imogen said. "I'm hopin' we can help each other."

The Plague muttered something in her mother tongue, but Laudna's attention was caught and diverted by a thick swirl of black fog gathering around her feet. "Imogen?" she murmured. "I'm afraid I may have to go."

"What?"

Imogen turned to her just as the Entity's legs burst from the ground around her. She'd be pulled back into her realm for a trial in seconds, but she could still get out a few words before she was forced away. "I'm sorry," she said. "Be careful!"

Through the spiny black legs, Laudna could just make out the fallen, desperate expression on Imogen's face, and her gut twisted. She should have told Imogen to wait before they tried this; it had been long enough since her last trial that she should have known she could be pulled into another one at any moment. She hadn't wanted to leave her friend alone with another killer like that, not when she'd promised to be there. But she never did have a choice in these things, did she?

Imogen would be fine. Right? That was what she'd said. But as Laudna appeared back at the entrance to her cabin, she couldn’t help but worry. Wasn’t it the Entity who took sacrificed survivors back to the campfire to resurrect? And if the Entity was here, watching her hunt, what would become of Imogen if the Plague became hostile?

She could end this quickly. She could find the survivors and kill them herself rather than hooking them and waiting for them to help each other down in a tormentingly slow cycle of sacrifice. She could just tear through them and be done with it, and then she could find Imogen and make sure she was okay.

She could do that, but it wasn’t what Imogen would want. Imogen was sure she would be all right, so Laudna had to trust that, and when the trial ended, everything would be okay. She hoped.

Laudna sat down on the stoop of her cabin and waited. After a few minutes, a floodlight went on in the distance, and then another one. Allowing the survivors to do their tasks unhindered was just as fast, if not faster, than killing them. She would pay for it, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

There was a lull after the fourth generator, long enough that Laudna almost got up to look for the survivors and find out what they were doing, but they found her first. Or, one of them did.

It was the one she’d seen talking to Imogen at the campfire before. They were tall, well-muscled, and confident. Laudna had sacrificed them a few times before, but now they approached her as if she were one of their own.

“Hey,” they called. “Laudna, right? I’m Ashton, Imogen’s friend.”

“Oh,” Laudna said. She hadn’t really been anticipating a conversation. “Hello. Yes, that’s my name. Is something wrong? Why haven’t you and your companions finished the generators?”

Ashton laughed. “We were confused. I had an idea of why you weren’t coming after us, so I came to ask. I’m curious. Imogen convinced you not to hurt us, didn’t she?”

“Not quite,” Laudna said. “She never asked that of me. But I’m tired of killing, and she’s helped me realize that I have a choice, whether she meant to or not. So, I’m making that choice.”

“It’s that simple?”

“No.” Laudna was dreading the end of the trial and the punishment that would come with it, but she wouldn’t get into it with this person.

“Well, for what it’s worth, it’s been a nice change of pace,” Ashton said. “So, thanks, I guess.”

Ashton held up a hand in farewell as they turned to leave, but Laudna said, “Wait.” They stopped and turned back.

“Imogen,” Laudna said. “I was pulled away from her at an…inopportune time. We were meeting the Plague at her temple. If she’s not back when you return to the campfire, would you check on her? I know it’s a lot to ask. But I’m afraid I may be housebound for a time after this, and I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

Ashton furrowed their brow. “The Plague? What were you doing there?”

“We just wanted to see if she would talk to us.” Laudna shook her head. “I don’t know whether Imogen actually got her conversation, or whether…”

“I’ll make sure she’s okay,” Ashton said. “Will you be okay? You kinda make it sound like you won’t be.”

“I’ll be punished,” Laudna said. “I haven’t allowed everyone to escape in a very long time, so I don’t know what may be in store for me. But I’ll be all right.”

Ashton nodded. “Okay,” they said. “I guess I’ll see you next time, then. Hope your punishment isn’t too bad.”

Laudna smiled. “Thank you,” she said, and they walked away.

Another few minutes and the alarm signaling the exits’ power sounded, and another minute after that, the trial hooks and barriers dissolved around her. She closed her eyes as the Entity spoke to her.

I think you know I am quite disappointed in you, child, it said. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

“No,” Laudna said. “I have nothing to say to you.”

Pity. I had such high hopes for you. But I know what your problem is.

Laudna swallowed hard, but didn’t say anything.

That girl, the Entity continued, and Laudna stiffened. Yes, I know all about what you’ve been up to. The girl distracts you, softens you. You understand why this is unacceptable.

“She hasn’t done anything wrong,” Laudna said. She tried to keep her voice steady, but it wavered as she spoke. “This was my decision.”

I can fix that, the Entity said. You will be so much more efficient without the illusion of choice. Understand, child, that you never had one to begin with.

And the torture began.

#critical role #imodna #laudna #imogen temult #my writing #this hunger it isn't you #i'm going back to work tomorrow so i probably won't be updating every day anymore but this has been fun sldkfjlskdfj #maybe one day i'll actually update the tags on ao3

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