#maybe its just because they have themes i don't resonate with at the moment... maybe bc i didn't do them complete justice?

[geometricalien]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

awww thank you for including me. this has just been sitting in my box for the past couple of days but HERE I AM- in no particular order:

This doesn't really have a name... It's just called Merman AU

and it's not a 'fanfic' it's half a collection of headcannons for this AU and half snippets from this idea that I posted on tumblr at @haikyuu-aus-cuz-i-cant-write (oops look who has actually written now jfdksalf) basically this is a cross between the little mermaid and the monkey's paw. I really liked this but it was wayyy too big of an idea for me to write and you can see that I stopped after writing Suga's wish which is reallly funny considering this whole idea spawned from wanting a mermaid/human bokuaka AU and i was not near to getting to the meat of the story at all

Things That Hold Us Together: Steel Bolts and Tender Hearts

yes i just recently posted this, yes i've had this in my folders for like 3 years. this one... this was spawned from an old friend - who i don't speak with anymore - offhand comment that a fanart looked like akashi was an android. four hours after they said that i had half of this fic, and they said it was the best writing i ever shared with them. they encouraged me to expand it but i kept hitting a wall and then we had a falling out and through out the years ive been coming back to this trying to add and edit and i decided to reclaim it as my own and publish it. the idea is that it's an introduction to a lighthearted sitcom/romcom between decommissioned war android akashi and engineer who fixed him up furihata

Language Barriers

i cyclically get star trek brainrot and this time it had a dash of akafuri, i really like how i described things in this one since furihata doesn't think in words but emotions and images instead, idk it was a good writing exercise

Horror wip

ive been hemming and hawing at it for literal months now because i have one central driving image behind my eyelids that i want to get to. its just been... harder than usual to get to it. i've rewritten like 3 times trying to get it write. i've currently landed on 2nd person narration with some thrown in spices of 1st person to signify that we are in the being- akashi's- point of view haunting furihata (the you) and its giving me an opportunity to make the reader feel akashi's destroying love from the front seat. my other goal with this is to write some surrealistic imagery soooo yeP

I Will Follow You Down Through The Gates of Hell

i cant not include this. this damn fic/series/idea has been brewing in the back of my mind for so damn long if it was a human child it could hold a fucking conversation. the imagery. the themes. the depth of emotion- AND WE ARE BARELY GETTING INTO THE WAR!? ITS BEEN 50K+ WORDS AND ITS JUST GETTING STARTED (or ending, if you wanna look at it that way) idk its... its been so long since i wrote part 1 that that fic doesn't feel like "mine" anymore? idk but it always makes me smile seeing an email saying that someone else liked the fics too.

#ask box #alienjack #jack #thank youuuu #i watched talk to me and it got me in a writing inspired mood hence why i dusted off a fic and posted it and finally got around to doing #this too #idk... i know they say to write for yourself- and i do!! (mostly) i don't read ocean eyes thats for damn sure- #and i know that all of my akafuri fics are for myself but some of them... #idk. i feel divorced from? does that make sense? a limb chopped off and given away? #like its not mine anymore? #maybe its just because they have themes i don't resonate with at the moment... maybe bc i didn't do them complete justice? #im not sure #do u feel that way at all? or because you are a literary person you feel more connected to your words #than i do... #some people need to write. they need to express thoughts and feelings or they will combust. they need to pluck words from the air #and sing them in song for the heart. #im im not liek that. #at least. that feeling that driving inspiring consuming feeling doesn't rest on me often. #there is one writing. one little drabble that i wrote while in my emotions that... that is mine. #maybe thats the difference. #as much as i have written. its a mimicry. a mockery of plot and feelings. things i have seen and read elsewhere. #i couldn't place my hand and breathe life into an emotion i haven't felt. not true emotion. #maybe i should just go to bed instead. #sORRY #lil rant

[goginaporter]

lyrical analysis of love you forever

or, breaking down ricky's love (confession) for gina

we're a little under three months out from the series finale of high school musical: the musical: the series. I've spent those months freaking out over rina and appreciating the beautiful arc they got in s4 that closed out their story over the course of the series. there are a million special moments that rina has in s4 (I mean, a rain kiss? can I have this dance? a duet together about their commitment to each other despite uncertainty? we really got it all) but one definitely stands out among the rest. love you forever is ricky's declaration of love for gina that he sings to her at her press conference for her new movie that, as far as he knows, is about to send her across the world. this post is gonna be a line by line analysis of the lyrics, as well as talking about everything that brought them to that moment and that made it special. enjoy <33

I've been wishing on a falling star for too long

this line opens the song and is such a beautiful callback to when there was me and you, the song ricky all but serenades gina with in 1.06 (the lines it references: I thought you were my fairy tale / A dream when I'm not sleeping / A wish upon a star / That's coming true). wtwmay is a song that gabriella sings after troy's betrayal in hsm and when ricky sings this line, to me, it represents a callback to his past relationship with nini. he was holding on to nini and that relationship too tight, wishing on a falling star. as gabriella says, wishes on stars just "don't come true" and for ricky, this relationship ultimately ended in failure. however, as much as this line signifies the crash and burn nature of that relationship, it's also a reference to the start of his relationship with gina in that bunker room as he strummed on a guitar, in a similar fashion to love you forever, to these lyrics.

I've been running, I don't know what from

this line references the conversation that ricky had with ej in 4.05 when ej forces ricky to reckon with the fact that he runs away from those he loves when faced with hard realities and that this tendency hurts both those around him, but also hurts him. it's incredibly full circle when you pair this with the fact that ricky is singing the song on the guitar ej gave him after they sang speak out, where ej tells him that "you'll probably get more use outta this than me" (4.05). i think it's really cool that this line also references gina's similar character flaw of running when things get hard, which she also sings about in second chance (Maybe I'm safer when I'm on the run / No time to open up my heart / Maybe I'll hide behind my walls again / Instead of tearing them apart) (also important to note that second chance is non-digetic and ricky has never heard gina sing these lyrics). so fascinating that ricky and gina have the same habit of running, with ricky running back to things that are familiar and gina pushing forward to leave things in the past before they can hurt her.

But you and I've become a sacred kinda home

this is one of my favorite lines of the song, especially because this theme of finding a home is such a critical cornerstone for both ricky and gina's arcs throughout the show. ricky's home life in s1 turns on its head when he discovers that his parents are separating. pairing this with his breakup with nini nearly sends him into a spiral, but he finds a new home of sorts in the theater program, telling gina "it's just nice to have somewhere to go after school every day, y'know" (1.05), which she herself resonates with, affirming his feelings.

of course, at the beginning of s2, we find out that ricky and his dad are moving to an apartment after his mom moves out. this drastic shift, the loss of his childhood home, is again disorienting, and again paired with changes with nini, what with her moving to denver. in 2.02, he tells nini that she is his home, which is really interesting, placing that kind of pressure on her. but what's even more interesting is that he knows he's moving, knows from the beginning of 2.01, and yet nini does not find out about his new home until 2.03 on valentine's day, months later. this is juxtaposed to gina showing up to his apartment that same episode. it's especially special that ricky is placed in the same situation that gina typically faces, the unpacking and getting accustomed to a new space. it is those undertones that serve as the undercurrent for their conversation. the apartment is in disarray when gina arrives, and remains that way for much of the season. gina, however, is endeared by the messy environment of the apartment and jokes along with ricky to put him at ease. by the time we return to it in s4, it's (naturally) much more lived in, with clothes strewn about, pictures of gina, and aptly placed posters lining the wall of ricky's room.

as I mentioned earlier, ricky calls nini his home in s2. this line says that he and gina together have become a home of sorts for each other. singing this to gina is important for ricky, but it also speaks to the unpredictable nature of gina's childhood, where she moved from city to city, never staying in one place for more than a few months, which she tells ricky in 1.05. by the end of s1, we think that she has to move again, something that's harder for her now that she's made connections with the wildcats, namely with ricky. as we see in the flashback scene in 2.06, she tells ricky that she wouldn't quit on them if not for her move, that they would essentially remain close if she weren't leaving salt lake. of course, she doesn't leave and instead moves in with ashlyn. it's her first taste of stability that she can really remember, but as she tells carlos in 2.04, she feels out of place living in a house she doesn't own and with a family that isn't hers. these feelings culminate in gina wanting to leave, a subplot we see primarily in 2.05 and 2.06. after revealing to ashlyn what she said to ricky opening night of hsm, ashlyn sings home from beauty and the beast to gina, telling her that she has a home with ashlyn, not just physically, but within their friendship. there is so much symbolism in that one scene that we don't have time to get into but this moment definitely shifts gina's perception of what a home can look like. in s3, we learn that her mom is moving back to salt lake city where she'll be staying long-term to allow gina to complete her time at east high. in fact, it's in this very house that we get our first scene of rina in s4, with ricky sneaking into her window. one's room is a reflection of oneself, and ricky and gina are all over each other's rooms, both literally and figuratively, throughout the season. combining this with the connection between the two that only strengthens over the course of the season, it comes as no surprise that ricky sees his and gina's relationship as a sacred home.

I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love and I know it / No net, no fear, right here in this moment

my twitter account was littered with theories and thoughts and hopes for ricky's love confession to gina, but whether it was public or private, planned or spontaneous, the one thing that I knew I wanted was for ricky to say that he is in love with gina. so on august 9th when ricky got to the chorus of love you forever, tears started pooling in my eyes because the confession, which was already literally perfect, delivered my biggest wish. one of my favorite aspects of the song is how much it reflects their journey because these are all the words that ricky would tell gina in some big speech, evidenced by him practicing all throughout 4.07. but when it comes down to it, after references to moments between them and beautiful metaphors, it builds to him telling gina not only does he love her, but that he's in love with her. there's no doubt in his mind of this fact. the sky is blue, the sun shines, and ricky bowen loves gina porter. so much of ricky's love for nini was tied to fear, especially a fear of change. that his love for gina transcends fear, that he is confident in what he tells her both shows his growth in romantic relationships but also in how much gina has redefined what it means to love someone for him.

I've never been more sure of what I got, yeah / Cause this is so much more than puppy love, so

continuing with the theme of confidence, ricky tells gina that he's never been more sure of what he's got in their relationship. I know I'm bringing rini up a lot but that relationship is a perfect frame of reference for how much ricky has changed when it comes to love. both his singing of I think I kinda you know in 1.01 and his love confession to nini in 1.10, while genuine, are riddled with stuttering and uncertainty ("I think", "I don't know", etc.). when you compare the ricky of 1.01 and the ricky of 4.08 and how he attempts to use song to profess his love, the differences are stark, and that's the point. as he all but said in 3.08, everything he's known about love has been changed by gina and that is reflected in love you forever. I love the puppy love nod and think it's narratively important for so many reasons. for one, it's a reference to their first date, as well as to gina's childhood. in that vein, it seems to mirror what gina tells ricky in 4.02, that mack was a crush of her childhood. calling what they have "more than puppy love" also nods to their growth, not just over the course of the series, but even throughout the season. from dealing with scrutiny in the fallout of the documentary to gina's increasingly busy schedule to their temporary pause to gina nearly moving across the world, they've been faced with many problems, and while they didn't handle all of them perfectly, they handled them together and came out that much stronger.

I'll say it first, no matter what the cost / Here I am full heart, full stop / I love you

in 3.05, ricky talks to jet following the fallout of the real campers of shallow lake drama. he asks jet what he's running from and tells him that sometimes when feelings are hard to articulate, it helps to sing instead. with love you forever, we see ricky taking his own advice. I love that ricky is insistent that he tells gina "I love you" first, both because he wants to rectify mistakes from his last relationship, but also because gina says, in a talking head, that she doesn't want to be the first to say "I love you," (4.06) further cementing the connection that rina has. it also affirms that there is no doubt in either of their minds that they love each other and want to say it to each other. it's also important to note that ricky understands the risk of singing this song at this point in time. for all he knows, gina is about to board a plane that will be taking her to the other side of the world for six months. however, he sings this song, affirms his love for her, no matter the cost, because he just wants her to know. he loves her in salt lake, he loves her in new zealand, and he loves her forever. ricky sings that he is there with a full heart, full stop I love you. in an interview after s3's finale, tim federle, the showrunner, states that while nini will always have a small part of ricky's heart, gina has a way of making hearts race. this line, to me, symbolizes the notion that gina is his heart, that his love for her encompasses it. there's a beautiful analysis of ricky being gina's heart canonically that I think helps tie all of this together, establishing that gina is ricky's heart, just like he is hers.

of course, I would be remiss to not talk about the full stop of it all. as we see in a flashback in 4.06, ricky opens up to gina in their first meeting about how he struggled saying I love you to nini, his ex. after hearing this, gina presents him with a possibility you can tell he's never considered: "maybe you just don't love her, full stop." ricky stutters in response, but doesn't fully negate gina's statement, in fact telling her that he's "kinda" planning on telling nini through song later that night outside her window (ironic that this plan doesn't pan out for him twice in the show, both here and in 2.03). that he brings up this notion of full stop, where there's no room for doubt, in his confession for gina further proves how deep and real and true their love is for each other. super small thing before I move on but I love how "I love you" gets its own special moment of pause in the song to fully communicate the gravity of such a statement.

I never knew that I could feel so sure and so strong /How can three old words feel so brand new?

Again, this idea of being sure comes up again in this second verse/buildup to the chorus. ricky has done the love confession before. he's been in love before. but again, with gina, it's different. it's deeper, more strong, more secure. and so when he says these words, in a situation that mirrors his audition for hsm, of course it feels different. in that auditon, he was singing nini's words back to her. love you forever, in contrast, is all ricky. those three words do feel new because now he's singing them to gina and for gina, where previously he sang them for himself. also a really cool note about the parallels between ricky's audition and love you forever is that tim federle released the initial script for love you forever, and one of the descriptions writes that ricky "launches into the audition of a lifetime." this song, this confession, is the start of his forever with gina. of course these words feel new.

Mm, so rare, so real right here in this moment / And I'm starin' at the only thing I want, so

I tear up hearing ricky say that the love that he has for gina is both rare and real. both ricky and gina, at different points throughout the show, cast doubt on love. ricky says in a talking head in 1.01 that love is dead (fun fact: ricky is wearing the same denim jacket from that talking head during love you forever teehee). gina, in the 4.06 flashback, calls love lame. their faith in love ebbs and flows throughout the show, but once they are together, there's no question. it's why ricky encourages the seblos reconciliation in 4.06 or why gina tells jet to confess his feelings for kourtney in 4.08. if they've found this beautiful love in each other, where they got a second chance on love in every sense of the words, why wouldn't they want that for everyone else, for the people that they love?

the second half of this lyric, of ricky "staring at the only thing he wants," is my absolute favorite line of love you forever. ricky's eyes are naturally drawn to gina in nearly every episode of the show, whether she's looking at him or not, whether they're speaking or not. even before he recognized those feelings in himself, we could see it because she was always the apple of his eye. this rings especially true during love you forever, where ricky does not take his eyes off of gina the entire song, except when miss jenn turns the lights on. gina is the center of his universe and who he has been drawn to since she entered his life. there was a tweet after s4 aired that stated that ricky looks at gina as though he's falling deeper in love with her every time and this line captures that.

I wanna finish what we started in the stairwell where we met

the bridge opens with this line and it's so fitting. to suggest that committing to loving each other forever is finishing what they started when they had that first conversation in the stairwell is so insane and will always make me spiral when I think about it. this line all but confirms that ricky and gina began to fall for each other in that moment. that their conversation in the stairwell is what catalyzed their respective character arcs also all but confirms that they're soulmates, that there was an invisible string that connected them, inexplicably tying their fates together forever.

I wanna live like I have never even heard the word regret

both ricky and gina have instances that they look back on and wish they had done things differently. gina says so explicitly in 2.05 when speaking to kourtney. she alludes to her goodbye to ricky after hsm's opening night, stating that it was something she wishes she could take back. in 3.06, ricky tells jet that he wishes that he didn't let color war gina slip through his fingers, suggesting that he would've done things differently if he were more cognizant of his feelings for her. ricky never wants to feel like that again, that he's missed his chance with gina due to fear. he wholeheartedly embraces his love for her because he knows what it was like to live without it and doesn't want to live in a world where gina isn't his reality.

I wanna scream what's in my heart and I won't ever take it back

ricky and ej's duet in 4.05 is about speaking your truth and speaking even when it's hard. the song even has a line about "screaming out." where in speak out, screaming out solicits no sound, ricky singing this line in love you forever is him being able to vocalize the feelings in his heart. he also commits to never taking these words back. his feelings for gina are eternal and everlasting. this is important for gina to hear because words have always been unreliable to her. people that she cares about, whether her mom or jamie or even e.j., have made verbal commitments to her at one point or another, and each one of them has later reneged on that commitment, whether intentionally or not. ricky can say these words, can say "I love you" to gina, because he's been saying it through his actions the entire show. gina doesn't always trust words, but she trusts actions. ricky has more than proven his love for her, and it's this continued declaration through his works that allows these words to ring true for her.

'Cause I love you feels a lot like high school and forever after that

I made this observation a couple weeks ago but this line is so fascinating. when the season first dropped and I heard the line, I was a tad confused. what does it mean for love to feel like high school? I was listening to the hsm3 soundtrack when it all clicked for me. in high school musical, the final song they sing in hsm3, the last line is "I want the rest of my life to feel just like a / High school musical" with this line, ricky is basically saying that he will love gina for the rest of his life. throwing in a hsm reference is also incredibly fitting given that they've just completed the first night of their run as troyella, further cementing their legacy as the troyella of the show. i love that, even when the bridge is repeated, ricky and gina are the only ones to sing these lines. when the bridge is sung for the third and final time, ricky and gina are now together on stage singing the words "I"m in love, I'm in love, I'm in love" to each other in between the lines of the bridge. the song closes with ricky singing "I love you feels a lot like high school" with gina singing "and forever after that." I love this ending for two reasons: ending the song with rina singing together re-emphasizes that they're in love, and in love together (for the first time), as tim mentions in an interview. I also love it because even as the wildcats join to sing the bridge near the end of the song, ricky and gina are the only people to sing the lines "I'm in love x3" and "I love you feels a lot like high school." even though their friends step in to sing some lines, ultimately, the song is a love song for gina, about gina, and that's why it ends with her. as tim (love how much I'm referencing him) mentioned in an interview, rina is the beating heart of the romance of the show, and their friends coming in to sing along to ricky's love song for gina fully solidifies this.

#hsmtmts #ricky x gina #gina porter #ricky bowen #rina #rina hsmtmts #gina x ricky #my loves #gina porter x ricky bowen #hsmtmts spoilers #love you forever #lyric analysis #high school musical the musical the series #wow this got so long #like crazy long #i wasn't expecting it to get this long #but i'm not surprised #given that i could talk about rina for hours #i hope at least one person reads this #cause it took forever LMAO

[rollercoasterwords]

i agree about gretta gerwigs work, i feel like there are some pieces of femininity and what its like to grow up as a girl that she nails every time, like at least for me personally her portrayals of grieving past versions of yourself and your life always resonate (but maybe thats because thats a pretty universal experience? im not sure), and her interfamilial relationships feel very tangible to me,

but yeah when it comes to her resolutions and her looking forward moments i feel like i dont really follow where her brain goes, it sometimes feels like she just ends up back where she started. and she doesnt play with gender and sexuality much, which is a shame because i feel like she could do it well?? idk maybe its fear, maybe shes cis and straight and those themes just dont resonate with her idk.

i also feel like shes almost choses stories where she wouldnt be forced to confront those topics? like little women has always had the same conclusion, she certainly did add her own artistry to the story but its not like she would have been expected to explore queer experiences there. and the same is true for barbie, barbie isnt exactly known for being a space that plays much with gender, and i highly doubt mattel would have approved a story that included too much queerness bc theyre trying to tell toys to conservative moms right? idk sorry this got long, your comments on gerwig just got me thinking

yeahhhhh exactly like. i am not a huge gerwig fan (not that i dislike her or anything; i'm just pretty neutral towards her as a director) + i only watched ladybird back when it first came out + barbie now. have never seen little women but based on what i know of the book yeah i imagine it's not like a movie where you'd expect lesbians lol nor was i expecting any particularly insightful exploration of queerness from barbie (although i do think it's nice that many people have been able to find meaningful aroace readings of the film)--and like i don't think it's gerwig's responsibility to explore such themes if they are not things she relates to or has an interest in exploring!

i feel like this is moreso just a problem with reception when any certain artist or work of art gets venerated as like....the pinnacle of representation for 'womanhood' or 'girlhood,' which is a category much of gerwig's critical reception seems to fall into. bc there is no single monolithic experience of 'womanhood,' the cultural consensus about what representations set the standard for such experiences always tend to privilege certain experiences (white, straight, cis, etc), oftentimes at the expense of erasing others. and this has been a particular aspect of some of the barbie praise that's grated on me; i've seen a lot of people talk about how it so perfectly encapsulates 'the female experience' and as a gnc lesbian i'm just like. alright then lol. think the treatment of queerness by the film as a whole was also just like....odd. generally speaking. honestly still parsing thru my thoughts on it but sometimes the framing of the movie made it a little difficult to tell whether i was being laughed at or laughed with tbh

#ask #i need 2 go 2 sleep it's 2 am but. that post got me thinking too lol

[joandraws]

Connie Converse

Maybe you've heard of her, maybe you haven't. I'm writing this for those who haven't.

Connie may well be the first American singer-songwriter, though her name remains relatively obscure. I only stumbled upon her music recently and was instantly captivated by it. My fascination with her artistry drove me to delve deeper into her life and the mystery surrounding her disappearance. This exploration took an emotional toll, as I found myself relating to her on a profound level. Her lyrics already resonated with me, but as I delved into her story and read parts of her final letter titled "To Anyone Who Ever Asks," the line, "Let me go, let me be if I can, let me not be if I can't," moved me to tears. I suddenly felt like her disappearance was such a significant loss to the world.

Then a strange thing happened as I was painting this portrait of her. I glanced at my worn-out, old Intuos4 graphic tablet (yes, it still works), its stickers peeling off, and I couldn't help but cry. In a hypothetical scenario (if I also disappeared) where someone as sensitive as me discovered my possessions, viewed my art, and learned about my life, they might feel the same way about me. In that moment, I gained a newfound appreciation for my art, for what I do, and for who I am.

Being proud of my art has always been a challenge for me. Typically, I create and release my work into the world, allowing it to find its own audience. And I have to admit that a lot of the time I even dislike my art. But lately, I've been working on having the same level of appreciation for my own work as I do for others. I'm sharing this because I know there are many artists, like me, who are excessively self-critical. Yes, I struggle with perfectionism, but even more than that, I used to be so self-critical to the extent that I would stop myself from creating at all.

This year, however, through my personal sketchbook project, I've made a conscious effort to change that. I've been focusing more on savoring the process of simply putting pen to paper.

But enough about me for now; let's shift our attention back to Connie Converse, and I'll just leave this sentence that her brother Philip Converse wrote about her:

"Sis was a genius and a polymath. I do not use the terms lightly. Connie was a poet, a writer of scholarly articles, a cartoonist, a painter, a would-be novelist by her own description, an activist, sculptor, and among other things a songwriter."

She wrote most of her songs between 1950 and 1955 when she was in her late 20s, living in New York City. While they do evoke that period, they are also timeless.

There's another intriguing aspect about her, at least from my perspective. Based on my reading and the accounts of those who knew her, it's my personal belief that she may have been on the asexual spectrum. I don't mean to speculate or offend her family, but this is just my personal opinion. Her music often delved into themes of loneliness and isolation, but it also celebrated her independence and contentment with being on her own. It's evident that she grappled with depression and often felt unheard. If she indeed fell within the asexual spectrum, it's highly plausible that she also carried feelings of being different or "broken," a common experience for asexual individuals, including myself.

There has also been speculation that she might have been a lesbian, though it remains just speculation. Ultimately, we'll never truly know, and her personal life remains her own business. I believe there might be a connection between these aspects. She was undeniably brilliant, and while it might be wishful thinking on my part, the fact that she was never found and her family respected her wishes allows me to imagine that she might still be out there somewhere. I hope she senses how much people cherish her music now and realizes how deeply appreciated she is.

Thank you for reading if you did! If you want to know more about Connie Converse you can listen to Spinning On Air's beautiful podcast episodes about her here, here and here.

#connie converse #illustration #art #personal #personal post #I don't know if this is interesting to someone #i felt like sharing #maybe it can help another soul #thank you for reading

[metanarrates]

What you wrote about letting the Poster in your mind die struck a cord in me. Lately when I'm writing I can't help but censor myself & add a tone of irony to it & lampshade cliches. Do you have any advice on how to write earnestly? Do you have any favorite media that is written with sincerity you would suggest?

my opinion is that if you're trying to cut out your own urges to be ironic and detached DURING the process of writing, you may end up overly scrutinizing your writing while it's happening, and that's usually what gets you too trapped in your own head to even get many words out. my advice is to simply let it happen in the first draft of whatever you come up with, and then have it be one of the things you look for while going over it in editing. ask yourself when you edit: am I saying what I actually want to say? am I being ironic for a reason, or is it because I don't know how to write anything else? can I try to do something less ironic? if I feel like I want to write something funny, can I come up with jokes that aren't "hey look at this cliche?"

above all else, when editing your own work, I find it valuable to think about whether this is the sort of story you really want to tell. if you feel passionate about it, why do you find it necessary to censor yourself? and if you find that you don't feel passionate about it, maybe you should restructure the work to make it more enjoyable to you. of course, not every scene in a story is fun to write, and not every moment of irony or lampshading is necessarily a bad thing. but if you find that irony is becoming a major habit in a work, it might be worth thinking about whether or not you're actually enjoying your own story.

as for the sincere media - most good media is very sincere! i actually think irony poisoning is the exception rather than the rule, though it is common enough in big blockbusters and the like that I do feel I have to complain about it. I would say most works I've read and enjoyed have been quite sincere. there's good stuff out there if you look.

that said, the works that come to my mind as being particularly upfront in their sincerity are:

mob psycho 100 - you've probably heard of this one. middle schooler with psychic powers and a severe case of emotional repression dispels a lot of ghosts with his con artist mentor and also figures out how to be a more well-adjusted person. mp100 has had a LOT of very eloquent reviews, so I won't say too much about it. it's just an extremely funny and shockingly emotionally resonant work.

witch hat atelier - absolutely gorgeous manga about a little girl who becomes an apprentice witch after discovering that magic is not exclusive to those who were born witches as she thought, but instead a teachable skill that has deliberately been kept in the hands of a few. the art in this is stellar, and its moments of horror are just as well-captured as its moments of gentleness. one of the themes of witch hat atelier is the beauty of art/magic and the joy an artist finds in its creation, and the artwork of the manga REALLY reinforces this theme. it's beautiful to look at and there's a quality of sincere love for both the work itself and its audience that suffuses the manga. though I will give a general tw for child harm - another major theme of the story is the responsibility adults, particularly teachers, have towards children, and this theme necessitates showing the ways that children can be harmed by teachers, as well as showing the ways that a good teacher can affect a child. it's very good!

omniscient reader's viewpoint: this one is LONG (over a million words) but is a great example of what I would call "post-cringe." a guy ends up seeing the events of his favorite fantasy-apocalypse action novel be recreated around him, and is determined to survive in this world where only he knows everything. one of the most charming things about orv, to me, is that the novel read by the main character is pretty obviously "cringe." it's a badly written escapist webnovel that is sometimes overly edgy, relies a lot on clichés, and can be very dense. the story points out sometimes how facts of the novel's world are kind of stupid or contrived. and yet, our protagonist loves that novel, and the story VERY much validates his love of it. despite him having at times a little bit of that ironic detachment towards the novel he loves, it's always clear that he thinks the cool monsters etc. are The Shit and that he is enthralled by the events playing out around him. the writing leans into how cool its setting and set pieces can be. hell, one of the big themes is how a story, no matter what kind of story it is, can mean everything to the reader who loves it. it's a good example of a work that can poke fun at its own clichés sometimes WHILE still loving those cliches and wanting the audience to enjoy those exact clichés.

again, there's a lot of good stuff out there! these are just my picks for having notable sincerity. if you read a lot, chances are that you will find a lot of great, earnest work. personally, I would recommend figuring out what genre you enjoy reading or watching, and then trying out some highly rated works in that genre. it's a great way to try out shit you haven't tried before! I would also recommend trying out stuff from 15 or more years ago, generally, if you're looking at more mainstream novels, movies, and TV series rather than specific genre fiction. the irony poisoning problem wasn't so prevalent then.

hope this helps!

edit: I FORGOT EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE. please watch eeaao, it's a deeply sincere and whimsical piece of art

#narrates #LONG post but here you go. #killing the Poster in your head can be a bit of an involved process #if you make the effort to be less detached & ironic in your self-expression the habit will eventually fade

[jyndor]

gotta say that midnights seemed slightly off to me from the get go. like I remember thinking the themes felt like a step backwards in terms of emotional growth after folklore and evermore, and bejeweled immediately had my mind going ???? because it was giving me sorry off of lemonade vibes, like not necessarily the same context or sound but something about it kept reminding me of sorry. that like, fuck being taken for granted, I'm gonna go be cute in the club like of thing.

and midnights does have this melancholy thing throughout which resonated with me deeply but it was also hard to swallow question and bejeweled and even tbh maroon and lavender haze (specifically the 1950s shit line from a woman who has never been shy in her music about wanting that traditional fairytale ending, but i just assumed she had grown into understanding that love doesn't have a fairytale ending, its ever evolving and takes on different forms over time).

but knowing what we likely know now, midnights can reflect the deeply complicated and often contradictory way that relationships work and don't work. you don't just go from love to resentment overnight, and sometimes it's both.

and I'm definitely not speculating, have no interest in learning what happened (it's not our business) but I wanted to share my moment of clarity on the album because I finally had it last night. I always liked it, but I couldn't get over how disjointed it felt. now it makes more sense to me.

maybe I have some young followers and I just want to say I've seen some really heartbreaking and concerning behavior from swifties since the news. I'm not gonna shame someone for getting too caught up in a parasocial relationship with a songwriter who has always put a lot of her personal life and emotions into her works, even if they are fictionalized and reworked into something she can sell. it's understandable that people would feel so connected to her, that's her business model. it isn't healthy which is why she's pulled back so much, but its still part of how her brand works. that carefully curated authenticity.

many of her fans are young, literal children. I don't want them to think that this idealized kind of golden love is possible to begin with - it is IDEALIZED. even with how realistic she has made their relationship sound in contrast to the fairytale loves she wrote about when she was younger, we don't know what they were actually like. you don't know. it's like thinking of their relationship as something from fiction, because in many ways what she wrote IS fiction - it's inspired by reality but fictionalized all the same.

there's a study that looked into when relationships tend to end on average. it's five years. it makes sense, after five years people really do know each other for the most part and likely have grown into more mature people. five years is a long time. five years ago I was just getting my esthetics license and now I'm a business owner. I know more about who I am and what my goals are. my goals have changed. sometimes people's goals become incompatible. it's normal and it doesn't make the love any less real.

this was probably her first serious and mature relationship. by all accounts she was at her lowest point when they met, and she's clearly grown a lot in the time since. that is not even taking into account his own journey and growth. again, this is normal and sometimes people can work through those changes, and sometimes people can't. it's not black and white though, it doesn't have to mean that what they had wasn't real love.

we weren't there, we don't know her or him and we shouldn't. taylor lets us see what she wants us to see. she's a mastermind, right? you don't know her and this is a great example of that. so hopefully younger fans especially can take some time to reflect on how to set better boundaries in the future to avoid feeling so hopeless and full of grief over someone else's relationship.

#taylor swift #swifties #im worried about the kids tbh #taylurking

[greypetrel]

Some spoilers from a person trained in literary criticism, after opening youtube and cringing hard at the title of a video and it had me screeching in annoyance at people who thinks consuming a lot of fiction automatically makes you a Literary Critic, and that will mix personal taste with objective truth.

A long, rantful tirade under the cut that I may or may not delete later.

ALL art is derivative. Or at least, Literature surely is. The great breakthroughs are so because they refused some conventions. Meaning that they had those conventions in mind and actively chose not to follow them. They're still derivative. Using "Fanfiction" as a slur is perfectly pointless and not that slur you think it could be, and "originality" is not something we should praise so much and looks so much to... Not if we don't want to be disappointed. Nothing is truely original in art, not in the "Never done before" way (one could argue that early cinema was original? Oh sure, as a mean of expression! But take a moment and consider "People travelling to the moon" as a theme in literature. I can trace it back at the II century AD, and I wouldn't be surprised if the theme came up before that in other cultures I am not so knowledgeable of. Méliès' Voyage dans la Lune is original in execution because cinema was new... As for the story? Still derivative!

The concept of "Mary Sue" as a slur should die. Really. Stop. That type of character may not speak to you and that's very valid, it's your right in not liking it! still doesn't make it objectively bad or evil, or something to despise. Two people will read the same book in two different ways. That's the beauty of literature: it's not high school math which has a right and a wrong answer. Literature and Humanities work in shades of grey. If some people need to have a main character that's clumsy, that's beautiful but very unsure of herself, that's important to the story, so they can identify themselves in her and maybe gain some more trust in themselves, what's wrong? There's nothing wrong in liking, in needing a Mary Sue, and there's equally nothing wrong in disliking her. It's just a matter of taste and of the right moment you read her. I read Twilight in three days because by that time I WAS clumsy and unsure of myself, I WAS just in high school after years of middle school being bullied. I could relate to Bella, and it felt nice, at 14, to see that even if you can't stand on your feet for more than 10 minutes, you can still live adventures and be loved. I stopped reading the saga because the "Edward dumped me and I stopped living" didn't resonate with me at all, and I didn't go further in my reading. Years of Liceo Classico and Academies got me hating Twilight because EEEEEW BELLA IS A MARY SUE EEEEEEW. That's bullshit.

Personal taste =/= Judgement over how good or bad is a book. I am sorry to relate this to you, but no, reading a lot of fiction doesn't make you a literary critic. Because good literary criticism takes the context into account to judge a book. You can't separate a book from its context, particularly when you're talking about classics, but also talking about modern books. Because no author lives in a bubble and doesn't act influenced by the society they live in. There are objective parameters to judge a book! But beside the fact that most authors played around it, and that those parameters are also HIGHLY depending on the context we're in (just as an example: Shakespeare was HIGLY unpopular in XVIII century Enlightment criticism. Voltaire hated the guts out of him and didn't consider him a good playwriter... Because Shakespeare didn't follow the Ancient Greek/Roman theatre criteria that the Enlightment preferred. That's just it. So you see, criteria vary too with the historical context. A book celebrated today may not be celebrated tomorrow.). But: you can like and dislike Classics. It's ok. It's normal. You have a personal taste, and the fact that a book has some objective value that makes it a classic and makes the book worth studying is totally separated from your personal taste and should always be kept separate. I majored in English Literature: I know that Dickens is a hugely important author, I know why he is and why he's in literature history books, why we study him and with reason. It doesn't change that I find Dickens' books terribly boring, they don't speak to me, they're out of my taste and preferences. Hard Times was probably the only book in my uni I couldn't bring myself to finish and read the summary on Wikipedia of. I tried, it isn't for me. I still think they should be studied in school, because they're very important for their period, and hugely useful to understand Victorian mentality and context.

That's it, welcome to my TED talk, I'm sorry for the tirade but I opened Youtube and there was a video titled "Is Rings of Power Galadriel a Mary Sue??" which had me fuming from my ears.

What if she is? Who cares? Just say you didn't like the show, that you imagined Galadriel in a different way and that's it. Don't deminish people who on the other hand liked her.

I promise, you can write your opinion of a book/show/media as just your personal opinion and impression. I swear it's fine, anyone who studied Literature would know that criticism is just that and doesn't mean much, that you can like a movie that's technically bad and dislike a movie that's technically great and that's perfectly fine and valid.

You don't need to make it an universal experience and an objective truth to be entitled to your opinion. Good taste is overestimated anyway. Embrace the trash. You're not a better person if you only like critically acclaimed stories, believe me, it took me years to realise it.

But still, if you want to write some proper criticism... Context is essential. Otherwise you read Jane Austen and you think she wrote romances. Which she didn't. She was a social satyrist and a terribly brilliant one. We just read her out of her context, we have lost the parameters to grasp the criticism because we live in a different society. The romance is all that's left. You can read Pride and Prejudice just as a love story... But if you want to write a critic essay over it, you can't treat it as such. You can say "I liked the romance plot the best!" and still say it's a brilliant satyre. But you have to know it's satyre.

#personal crap #literature #meta #literary criticism #in defense of Mary Sue #Mary Sue #Academies are a great thing but the mentality they give you is BULLSHIT #Reading only classics and “good literature” does NOT make you a better person than a person who unironically likes 50 Shades of Grey #It does not I'm sorry you've been lied to #and yes my pet peeve now that I'm out of the mentality is people shitting on other people's taste in virtue of I don't know what #the illusion that having “Good taste” is a divine right in shitting on other people... #I'm deeply sorry for every single time I did it #and I sadly did

[milo-hypno]

hi! this is anon from the other post thanking you for your work [sorry to clog up your asks like this, i just realized i really wanted to say something and forgot to add it so feel free to not post a response to this or anything, the fact that you’re even reading this is enough.]

your portrayal of love is mind-boggling in a /pos way and i very much wanted to mention it!! i’ve recently come to terms with something i’ve known for a long time now [being aro] and that somewhat deals with the territory that you’re aren’t going to experience romance, or certainly not the way others do, but somehow your works really do resonate with me because of the theme in series like home, home again and the birds in flight, the birds still singing of ones’ love and passion for another transcending romance entirely into becoming something of its own.

within eventually the birds must sing it makes sense [with the soul ties factor] but something about works where the author can depict relationships in which the characters love each other so wholly and completely that it’s more than just romantic or sexual is just so so good. maybe i’m biased because i regularly see relationships being portrayed as only having meaning if they’re “just romantic” or “just platonic” while i always wish for something more, but you’ve written it perfectly, truly.

it’s in moments like before the characters even realize they’re in love romantically that their internal monologue reveals their devotion to the other(s) in increments, or even if/when they realize their feelings they are content enough standing by the sidelines not confessing because their love for the other is more than what the normal implication of what romance entails, or simply how regardless of the journey they still love each and every detail about the other(s) and express it as such.

sorry, i am just going very insane about this still so i don’t know if any of this makes complete sense. all i know is that whether intentional or not, your expression of love within these characters detailing more than just the norm of physical actions and the works is very comforting to me, so thank you very much! again, i do apologize for the second ask but i wanted to mention something about this at the very least, have a nice night!

Hi!! Please, don't worry - I'm always happy to receive asks!!!

Thank you so much. I can't say you're the first person to say this, actually - I have... a shocking amount of Aro people, actually, who come to me saying that my portrayal of romantic clicks with them in some way or another, which would make me question something if I weren't pretty darn solid in my romantic inclinations, LOL

But saying that? This is incredibly lovely to hear. I try to make my romance feel right, to me, which is- not just puppy love. It's someone becoming so precious to you, that it would rip you apart to lose them. So often I feel like things I read have a very underdeveloped line to falling in love? To the point where, though I classify my fics as slow-burn, it's more that I need them to burn that slowly to show everything I need to, to make it feel real to me.

All this to say - I'm very glad to hear that my slow fall speaks so well to you!!! Thank you very much for the lovely messages, Anon - you're welcome in my inbox any time <3 you've brought me a lot of warmth and joy with your messages!

#milo's rambles #asks #hopefully this isn't a hot mess of an answer LOL #i am not in my best shape this week

[pyroweasel]

🤡🎢✨⛔💖💌❌👀🤲

🤡 (What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?)

I'll share this WIP line that will probably never see the light of day. You kind of need to know to appreciate it, maybe, but it still kind of makes me laugh. **"Don't fucking touch me - filthy little - do you ever bathe?” 

"I try not to," Peep chirps, and then with a fresh grin they reach both hands out in Hazel's direction - making grabbing motions as if threatening to touch his face."** 🎢 (Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?) Had To Be You, hands down. Mostly because it would so wildly fluctuate from 'this part is so easy let me publish four chapters in a row' to 'I've taken two months to finish this chapter and I still hate it.' It was a good time over all but boy was it a ride to get through. ✨ (Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉) I already did one do I have to do another...(jkjk) I think my long/run-on sentences are pretty well-crafted and tend to add exactly the sort of punch/affect I'm trying to manage. ⛔ (Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?) Oh I have so many of these. I wouldn't even try to list them, but I'll highlight one of my personal favorites. I once had a fic planned that was essentially Addison being assigned Captain on this massive ship who's sole purpose was to transport "precious cargo." Spoiler alert, the cargo was an imprisoned Trep. It was very saucy, very much meant to highlight Trep's abilities as an Imp and was not necessarily destined for a good ending. It would have been fun, I think.

💖 (What made you start writing?) I couldn't tell you, honestly. I've been writing since I was a kid, since before I even remember doing it. We still have one of the first 'books' I ever wrote. What I can say is it's just...everything to me. It's a distraction. It's soothing. It's a way for me to connect with my partner and my friends. When I'm really sad, or really happy, or hell I'll say it even horny, writing is there, you know? I can do anything I want in there. I can write anything I want. I can bring these characters that mean everything to me to life in my own words. I can put them through hell, or get them comfort, or find them love. I can explore the world's brightest themes, and its darkest. I don't know. It's how I get all the things inside out. I don't really have any other creative pursuits that I feel like I'm good enough at to do that, so writing is the way. 💌 (How do you feel about comments and feedback?) I love comments. I love to know what I did right, what resonated, what people are thinking about what could happen next. I also love expressions of joy/enjoyment like keysmashes and such. I'm sensitive to criticism though, even well-meaning criticism, which is purely a me issue but can make getting feedback/comments kind of stressful sometimes. Especially when I'm nervous about a write to begin with.

❌ (What's a trope you will never write?) Never is a strong word because there have been times I've dabbled in things I thought I'd never dabble in. And I honestly can't think of any specific one right now that makes me thing 'ew no never.' I don't enjoy most things centering around pregnancy, though. Little cute moments with pregnant characters is one thing, but I don't like to focus on it much. 👀 (Tell me about an up and coming wip please!)

I have so many WIPs....a few fan favorites in the works are more chapters for the reincarnation AU for Hazing, Fable finally gets to meet Keet's pets, that one chapter for To The Left where these two finally get down, and a scattering of other hazing stuff. 🤲 (Would you please share a snippet of a wip?)

Okay...let me dig one up here. **Home, he thinks - spitting the word in his mind even as his feet turn in its direction. A tiny townhouse he doesn't know the first thing about fixing. A ratty bed, a shitty TV, a computer that barely connects most of the time. The self-inflicted bare minimum because it has never really been his home - only a place for his pets. A place to land when he wanted to rest because where the hell else was he supposed to go? 

It's not his home, he thinks - bitter, angry, aching. 

It's not his home, he thinks - paused outside, glaring up at the shingles and the brick. Humans pass around him - souls whispering at a distance, arching briefly in his direction until they're far enough away to snap free. Busy, loud, and something stings at his eyes. 

"Keet?" 

He starts, turns, and there's Fable. This silly little human who resists his pull but somehow keeps finding him anyway. Who'd held him at his worst, and called themself his friend, and who's here now, again. Standing near his apartment, watching him with a turned head and a curious stare. 

"Are you alright?" 

Keet opens his mouth to answer - closes it again - and then finally, after a second, he says instead,

"What are you doing here?"**

#ask game #5amanthus

[punemy-spotted]

cactus, abelia, daffodil, sage, edelweiss, jasmine, palm tree, nutmeg, papyrus 😁

Oh! So many!! Thank you, friend, this was very sweet of you!! I will try (and inevitably fail) to keep from rambling too terribly, but know that I love and appreciate you so dearly for this!!

This got long, so answers are under the cut! 💖💞💖

Get to know me!

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

I'm learning French! All over again. I am haunted by the Duolingo owl and its reminder to keep my streak up and have so far done pretty well for someone who usually absolutely sucks at remembering to do things on a daily basis!

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

I answered this here, but basically: I do not! I'm not much of a jewelry wearer, in truth. I tend to fidget, and in fidgeting, break things. I do wear jewelry often though, mostly when I need to look professional or if I'm going to an event — my mother's costume jewelry from India is... not an everyday thing though, for sure.

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

I have a younger brother! He's the smarter one, the much more put-together one, and the definitely way better at his job one. He's in college now, about to graduate, and having all manner of adventures I was too scared to have at his age.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

Music really gets to me. I grew up really immersed in religion and so many of our prayers are "sung" rather than said aloud, and so the way I learned the history of my faith is through music. I find myself closest to the Divine when I am listening to music, and growing up as part of an Abrahamic faith, I do resonate with Christian allegory because those are stories I remember being sung during majlis too. Every prayer I remember is because it was sung to me when I was learning it, and to this day, I keep those same tunes.

edelweiss ⇢ how’d you think of your url/username? what’s it associated with to you?

Puns. Oh lord, so many puns. My username was something handed to me, after I made so many puns I earned the name Puntessa (Pun + Contessa) and then the name Punemy (Pun + Enemy) as well as numerous jokes about them spotting me the moment they saw [Puntessa is typing...] on Discord.

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

There's this Bollywood film, Bajirao Mastani, that I absolutely adored. It was cinematic and beautiful, the costume and set design were sublime, the story was heartbreaking, the music still resonates with me... and then the ending happened and it was just so absolutely poorly done that I can never watch it again because I'm convinced the ending was when they ran out of money and just gave up. Awful awful awful CGI.

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

I mean like... all of them? Listen. As a Captain America fan, as someone who considers Steve Rogers to be their comfort character, the fact that I am head over heels in love with Helmut Zemo is an actual problem and I should probably feel guilty but I don't. I'm gonna just... make it work, one day.

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

Chaotically. I have books everywhere. Laundry that still needs folding. None of the posters I bought to put up in my room are actually put up. It feels a bit like a dorm room that I keep telling myself I'll decorate one day, but am often too busy/too tired to actually decorate. Maybe if I settle somewhere more permanent I'll hire someone to decorate my house in the dark mushroomcore aesthetic I desire.

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

The first song that came up was Lay this Body Down by Sam Lee and I've had that one on repeat for days working on Sixteen Tons so I associate it with that fic, with exhaustion and giving just a bit too much of the self, with that nasty habit of people-pleasing that so many are afflicted with these days, and with becoming the monsters our parents make of us, baring our throats to the sky as we cry out for something more than the inevitable.

You know. Healthy thoughts.

#shroombox #dreamfaerye #ask game: get to know me

[shiitnoonecaresabout]

my music alphabetized

PART TWOOOOO time for the second letter baby.

B is for............

BOYGENIUS FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all time favorite(still together)band. u guys don't get it. getting these three on a song together is best decision ever made sorry. i love these three a lot. phoebe, lucy, and julien are BRILLIANT songwriters who make explosive material when they're together. every song is breathtaking and every song makes u feel every emotion in the book. it may be a 'controversial' opinion but their ep (2018) is my favorite album. they each have their respective moments the same way they do on 'the record' (2023) . it also came out on my birthday so maybe i'm biased. overall, their ep hits every mark perfectly even with a whopping SIX SONGS. the lyricism within that album will hit every time. to put a song calling out ur fans ('bite the hand') as the OPENER for ur debut ep is absolutely insane and perfect. do not get me STARTED on 'me and my dog'. i won't stop:

'me and my dog' has been my comfort song for a while. but its true resonation came through more recently. in a mundane wrap up by 'Beyond The Stage' magazine, the song is essentially about an imaginary situation that is "a peaceful escape from anxiety - one that includes an entire solar system and Phoebe's late senior dog, Max" (Pasterchick, 2023; https://www.beyondthestagemagazine.com/me-my-dog-boygenius-lyric-breakdown/). i have always loved the lyric "i wish i was on a spaceship/just me and my dog and an impossible view" because it makes me think of my darling baby boy, stanley, my very bestest dog friend who has made my life insanely more bearable. the only difference is he's not very senior, being only 5 years old. but recently i had to deal with him passing and listening to this song made me feel so seen and it put that final nail in the coffin of why i love it so much. it's interesting to think how something so devastating can bring about a relation to something i had found so much happiness in beforehand. it comforted me when i needed it the most and boygenius i'm oh so grateful for that. in my safe spaces i can always imagine stan and i on a spaceship. he sure would love that view.

their ep could make me talk for hours but 'the record' is an absolute masterpiece next to it. for them to have a hit debut album like that is so well-deserved. the writing within that album is perfect and 'we're in love' only solidified my love for lucy more. to be able to hear such mundanity in the instruments in order to amplify her soft voice is a beautiful use of sound and very understandable when she is spitting the bars that she is. i have consistently attempted to dissect meanings that could be hidden within this song just because i know lucy is way too smart for any critic to know what she is singing about. people may try to dissect those songs but julien, lucy, and phoebe are tooooooo big brained for them. it's not up there but 'true blue' is another beautiful representation of lucy's talent and to write that about her bestest friends is very sweet :)))))). 'without you, without them' is underrated but is a gorgeous way to introduce the album, especially a debut one. to open themselves up to us is not a small thing and their appreciation for that intro should be larger. tell ur friends, father, mother, sister, brother, they are opening up girl LISTENNNN.

another thing i love about 'the record' is the amount of JULIEN we get. the triangle between 'anti-curse', 'satanist', and '$20' is grammy worthy. the way the album flows together is 'folklore' level and no i do not say that lightly. the friendship that flows between each and every song is important to truly understand the tight community they have formed among themselves. 'anti-curse' focuses around julien's encounter with the ocean and getting pulled under a wave "making peace with [her] inevitable death." and listening through the album you start to notice her underlying theme of feeling grounded by the two people next to her on this whole journey, phoebe and lucy. their friendship has had a strong and lengthy lore that has brought devastation among many fans realizing just how much they really love each other. which is also emphasized by their common theme of playing the "big three," as some fans like to call it, at their shows: 'please stay,' 'favor,' and 'graceland too.'

now, i saw boygenius live and experiencing those three songs was another experience for me. and that was the most i cried the whole show (can u believe that?) knowing their friendship was so strong that they could write those songs about such a vulnerable moment within it was a beautiful thing for them to feel comfortable sharing with us. i think people took for granted the way they were able to perform those songs for us after the history that has happened to produce them. additionally, i think the creative decision to place julien in the middle of all three was essential to solidifying the sole reason all those songs were being performed. they have found strength and solidity in their friendship and turned it in to some of the greatest music of 2023.

whoever said trios don't work should really meet boygenius.

this is my boygenius cover playlist. if someone wants to get it to them thank you. i need them to cover these songs.

#music #album of the year #my music #spotify #favorite album #favorite songs #boygenius #the boys #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus #julien baker #the record #me and my dog #we're in love #songs #love songs #music group #anti curse #$20 #satanist #boygenius cover #boygenius ep #favorite music #boygenuis #phoebe #lucy #julien #group #Spotify

[sapphire-weapon]

a few weeks ago, a poem was going around the internet, and it wasn't the poem itself that resonated as much as the theme did

"all because the world didn't end when i was 16"

i got into my country's top university and i failed one of my essays, i deep cleaned my house for my friend to come over, i grew out of jaywalking, i fought with my sister about giving me a ride, all because the world didn't end when i was 17

Sirea, you go to work, you take care of your cats, you get on the internet and straighten out a bunch of idiots fighting about old ass video game canon

all because the world didn't end when you were 32

or maybe you were 28, or 24, or 19, who knows

i don't know anything about you other than what you told the internet, but there's always a lesson hidden in your rants, a way of life that guides your answers

its a shame that some people don't know how to let others be and that you get caught in the crossfires. just remember that you can and you have changed the world around you, even the worlds of total strangers. it takes strength to make a change, and none of these ungrateful trolls can take that from you.

i hope you have the happiest new year, stranger <3

anon<3 this is a really sweet ask, and i really do appreciate the time you took to write it

but it also makes me feel a little worried that something happened and i completely missed it LOL like i'm not sure what crossfires i'm caught in or what trolls are after me. i have been blissfully unaware of any of that.

the actual source of my gloom is that i live paycheck to paycheck working a job that makes me absolutely miserable in a city i fucking hate. i feel like i'm going nowhere and there's no point to my life, and i'm tired of living like this, but i can't seem to get out of it. i'm worried that i've irreparably fucked up my resume, and it feels like time is running out.

and it's all of that while also coming off of an episode where i was wrongfully medicated (i was given something that's used to treat bipolar and schizophrenia; guess what i don't have) and nearly suffered a psychotic break from it -- like to the point where i almost became a danger to myself and others, because i lost my ability to understand the concept of "the present" because every moment is fleeting and everything reaches its end and everything exists in the past. i felt like any negative consequences to any action i took didn't matter because time would pass regardless, and eventually i'd be on the other side of it anyway, so who cared if things were momentarily unpleasant. if i said anything to any of you during the latter half of october or at any point in the month of november that was just completely batshit and unhinged, i'm sorry. i wasn't myself, i wasn't in control of myself, and i refuse to go back to that doctor again.

like... i've pulled myself safely away from that ledge, but i also feel like i can't unsee some of the things i saw while my brain was like that. my concept of time is still completely scuffed, but i at least understand what the present is again.

i would love it if internet trolls were my problem. but i've been so detached and in a fog that i haven't even noticed them. or maybe i just have them all blocked. or maybe they've blocked me. i don't know. it doesn't really matter.

i just know that you guys continue to be the bright spots in my days, and if nothing else, i am proud of the lil community we've built here.

[theboarsbride]

Hello! Dotr-rose-love here. I'm on chapter 6 of The Monster and the Butterfly and I have a question cause well...I don't think I've got this right. So Sophie takes care of her father and Adam. Does Sophie's brother contribute to that in any way? I know they are both poor but it wasn't mentioned when he went to get her from work. Also, he comes back from work and doesn't help at home? And then has the nerve to tell his sister to go become a stranger's gardener for the sake of Adam? From what I understand it's Sophie and Gertrude doing everything at home. Also i didn't get Gertrude's relationship with the siblings. And I must be forgetting Adam's cause I read the first 2 chapters a while ago so I'm sorry to ask that you clarify that for me again.

Questions aside, I think it's really great to see the pain of departure and the fear in Sophie because, in most versions of Beauty and the Beast I've watched, they make Belle's departure very quick, like seconds long, even though it has so much importance. They all focus on the romance a lot, not giving much weight to the sacrifice she made. Granted, those versions were all children's movies so, such things maybe should have been avoided, but with movies like Lion King or Spirited Away or The Hunchback of Notre Damme being addressed to kids, I think a little more screentime on Belle's departure and her feelings wouldn't have been the end of the world, nor are unnecessary to be disregarded.

AAA I'm sorry for any confusion!!!!!! Im always more than happy to clarify (and am grateful for your honesty with these comments!! It helps me realize where I can improve with characterization and plotting!^^).

So Thomas doesn't really do much to help out domestically, and feels like him working is him doing his part in the family - he doesnt feel it necessary to help with domesticity or caring for their father, not the same way the sisters do. He isn't necessarily a BAD person, but he's just lowkey selfish and greedy. Trauma makes him selfish, makes Gertrude stingy, and makes Sophie angry.

And in terms of familial relationships!! Gertrude is sort of the 'middle' child of the Wickes family. The sibling order goes Mildred, Gertrude, and Thomas and Sophie (who are twins). Adam is the sole surviving child of Mildred, who was a sex worker that passed because of Cholera. (Though this detail I look to change in a future draft where she dies of a venereal disease); so he is the siblings' nephew.

And thanks!! I really hope to make this story feel emotional! Like, not a sad, dramatic story, but I hope it have its emotional moments or themes that resonate with folks!

But thank you for reading, and thank you for taking the time to send me a comment!! It really means a lot!!!❤

#WIP : the monster and the butterfly

[zachthehopelessromantic]

Hello there luv! How are you? I was wondering if you could give me some insight on this composite chart? I’d like to know what u find interesting on it! I find the 11th house stellium interesting 🤔

Hey, I can def give you more insight on it. Also thank you for waiting, June is starting to be a very busy month for me.

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💀Scorpio Rising: The start of the relationship was probably very deep and meaningful to both of you. One of you was probably very forward (Even if Mars is in Libra) with the other, you wanted this connection, both of you did. One of the first conversations you had with each other was most likely about death, or the convo could have just been very deep. The relationship can also be forced at certain moments, there isn't really a limit to what you two want to do with each other. Anger can be destructive. The relationship was probably somewhat a secret at first, and one of you still keeps it a secret. I Don't Mind by Koren Grace comes to mind, if you've ever heard that song haha. Anyway, the theme of hiding and secrets is common in this relationship. Take that as it resonates.

🩹Chiron 2nd house: there is some sort of shared wound of the lack of security. Regardless of what each other's Chiron is and what house they are both in. You two may try to find security in the relationship and each other but expectations fall flat. Try being a bit more grounded in the relationship, because that's what you two are best at since it's in the sign of Capricorn. Unrealistic expectations are common with this placement too.

🔥Aries Moon: You guys are hyper as fuck, not gonna lie. You two have so much fun together, you two are very open with each other. You two are very expressive and impulsive together, emotional impatience might be a problem though. You two are always going to be moving and giddy around each other. The moon is in the 5th house amplifies this energy, you two love playing games with each other, making art maybe? As well as exploring new hobbies. Whatever hobby one of you has, the other will gladly participate in it with them. usually with this combination, the serious stuff might be avoided but since the Scorpio Rising is here, you two like to venture into deep conversations together.

🍃Virgo Venus: The flavor of this relationship is very practical, again with the unrealistic expectations though. You two have a great devotion to each other and the love of the relationship, you two make sure each other is cared for. The relationship can really thrive off of being grounded and practical, making sure nothing gets fogged up by unreal expectations. there is a lot of psychical touch in this relationship as well, psychical touch could be one of the main love languages. as for venus being in the 10th house, you two take the relationship and its duties very seriously, this is a great p[placement in my opinion because the couple can agree on many things about the relationship and where it is going. Again, just a very practical and loving relationship.

✨11th house Stellium: One of my favorite stelliums for a relationship, I have this with my boyfriend haha. You two can be completely yourselves with each other, with no fear of judgment. You two share similar dreams and ideals as well. It's a very free relationship. Going further, the stellium in the sign of Libra suggests that the give and take dynamic of the relationship is very equal. You two are extremely social beings, always talking or going out with each other as well, there is a sense of feeling complete with each other, feeling balanced.

🔒Saturn: There may be a fear of intimacy or emotional closeness, especially with all the air energy in the chart. Saturn is still a binding force in the relationship though. It Squares the sun which means that there may be some immaturity emotionally wise, especially since the Moon is in Aries. Saturn is in the 8th house so this will cause each partner to feel like they can share anything they want with each other even if there is still a fear, Saturn and the 8th house can be very complicated when they come together, even I don't fully understand the placement. What I have experienced, personally, is that if there are 8th house placements and major Saturn contacts in the Synastry, then you two will be more willing to embrace this placement, if not then there will be issues with emotionally nurturing each other and sharing each other's emotions with each other.

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#astro notes #astrology #composite chart

[writingwell]

I have read all your Castle fic, some multiple times and need something new to read. I was wondering if you had any favorite Castle fics or authors you love/would recommend?

I'm bad about remembering fic I've read, but I do have some faves marked on my ffnet page, if you want to suss that out.

But authors! I will always hold a few especially dear:

Jennifer Egan (Visit from the Goon Squad, The Keep, etc) - Each of her novels have affected me in different ways, but the consistency of the quality of her writing is what sucks me in each time I start a new one.

NK Jemisin, Naomi Novik, Tracy Deonn, Rachel Yoder - a quick run through of some women in sci-fi/fantasy whose books are STELLAR and who don't get enough play in the usual round-up. For me, I'm not always gonna talk about them because I don't know how formative they've been yet, but damn they have some awesome story-telling, and I am SUCKED IN.

Mary Stewart (Touch Not the Cat, This Rough Magic, Merlin series) - Gothic romance for most of her career, MS wrote a Merlin series which I read grudgingly: they were the last books of hers I hadn't read. And I adored them, lol. She's easier to read than Daphne DuMaurier (Rebecca, My Cousin Rachel) but if you want to jump in, then I would suggest her short stories which are deliciously Gothic.

Edith Wharton (House of Mirth, Glimpses of the Moon, etc) - Gillian Anderson was going to be in HoM, I think, and she was interviewed in Entertainment Weekly magazine back in the day, and she quoted this book. I was perhaps 19? and I snatched it up the first chance I could get, wrote a paper for college, kept reading Wharton. As my twitter and ffnet handles show, Lily Bart, a woman fighting against the strictures of her society, absolutely had my heart. Want to know the quote GA used? "What Lily craved was the darkness made by enfolding arms, the silence which is not solitude, but compassion holding its breath." Holy shit, how can you not be immediately caught?

Madeleine L'Engle (Wrinkle in Time et al, Certain Women, A Severed Wasp) - What most people don't know is that L'Engle wrote adult fiction as well as what is now termed YA (or Children's, depending). Her adult stuff is poignant and devastating and just as hope-filled as her literature written for younger audiences, and I don't think even those books can be said to be just for children. A Swiftly Tilting Planet still makes me think about how righteous is pacifism in this day and age (ie, maybe it's not, and that's horrendous) plus A Wind in the Door is this really beautiful grappling with childhood disease/death/mental health. It's very lovely to have a gentle-handed author shape elemental Truths around your imagination and plant the seeds for both questioning the world and also loving it, flaws and all. And that both of those things can exist.

Chaim Potok (The Gift of Asher Lev, Book of Lights) - I realize I have a lot of women on this list, but Potok is a man who gets the creative experience inexorably tangled with the spiritual one. If you're not of some kind of seeking orientation, I don't know that Potok would resonate with you as it did and does with me, but there's something wholesome and agonizing about a man who knows he is put on this earth to create and yet everything in the earth is an obstacle to that calling. Even God, who ostensibly called him. It's really quite impressive a theme.

Colette (The Vagabond, Cheri, Claudine series) - Like I said, a lot of women, but these are the authors I go back to. The Vagabond, when I read it over again just a few years ago, was this huge light bulb moment for me: oh THIS is why I'm like this. I read it the first time in SF, plucked from my aunt's shelves (she was, I thought, so very cool, and if my aunt had this book, I should be reading it). It was both a book about a single woman writing a book, but also a book about a woman determining her own selfhood, and I latched onto both those concepts. Made for me. This led me to many of her others, but also to Anaïs Nin (also on my aunt's shelves), at about 18 years old, also formative. Delta of Venus is her erotica, and I will admit I skip some of the body violence/horror shorts and the child molesting stories, but others are expansive and sensual forays into women's sexuality that I just had never read before. Not outside of fanfic, anyway. Nin has some short novels that are also in that vein—a woman exploring herself—but I think you'll have seen mostly quotes from her letters and diaries. If you want nonfiction, and something of an epic read, go there.

Nick Hornby (A Long Way Down, About a Boy, High Fidelity, Funny Girl, Just Like You) - I've been reading him since early college, and I can't even remember what got me started first. High Fidelity? Because it was a movie about music and starred John Cusack? Who knows. Anyway, I think his novels stand up against time, and I met him at a book reading once and he was both hilarious and deep. I'd been working with a boy with autism at that point, and I had just read A Long Way Down, and it was evident to me that this author knew what it was to Suffer™ and sure enough, I found out later that he has a child with autism. He just seemed to understand, in both speaking and in print, that life isn't easy for anyone, that we all have a story, and books/stories/music are often the only ways we get any relief. Also he's hilarious. I said that, but it bears repeating. And if you want to understand Brexit at all, Just Like You was eye-opening for me about that. (Being American, I got it in the way of like, oh shit we elected This Cheesehead, but I didn't get it in the way of like, culture and national health care etc).

John Scalzi (Old Man's War, Locked In, Kaiju Preservation Society) - Sci-fi standby. I mean, if I want to read science fiction and I want to laugh and also Get Something Out of It, then I pick up Scalzi. He has a funny twitter presence and a blog and all that, but I don't have much to do with it. I just read his books and laugh and feel like I've managed to escape while also not ingesting something totally bullshit patriarchal. He's aware, he's looking around at the world, and he's imagining a future where that shit, yes, does happen, because we are people, but also like, more and more people or aliens are striving to eradicate that shit. So I like that. Becky Chambers is doing some really good, captivating sci-fi as well, if you want less humor in it (not that she's not funny, she's just not as tongue in cheek or expressly sardonic as Scalzi) and I have one of hers on my TBR shelf.

Ungggg, I feel like this is getting TL;DR and so I need to rattle off a few more names and go: Howard Thurman (meditations), David Maine, Neal Stephenson, Toni Morrison, Larry Niven, Ben Bova, Lucille Clifton (poetry), CS Lewis, Rainbow Rowell, Flannery O'Connor, Maggie Stiefvater, James Baldwin, Celeste Ng, Henry James, Thomas Hardy, Richard Castle (lol but not lol, I seriously love those books).

[bubacorn]

Music ask! 3, 4, 11

I also kinda just want to know your 3 favorite Metallica songs too 😅

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

Recovery by Birdmask - the entirety of Tristan is perfection, and there are some themes that really resonate with me. plus Manuel's voice is just really good

Bow by Zeal & Ardor - again, Manuel, and again, the whole album is *chef's kiss*, i cannot even tell you how many times i played it through daily since i discovered them

Man or Ash by Corrosion of Conformity - it's just so catchy and i like the singer's voice in this one. i don't listen to CoC, and discovered this song only because James did backing vocals on it. their voices sound really good together and it all has a bit of a grimy feel. (i have a playlist of songs with James' backing vocals titled 'Man or Ass', don't ask, my brain just said 'that's exactly what that song is called')

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents

hm. thanks to my parents. i can't really name any. my parents aren't/weren't that big on music (they listened to some music but didn't get into favorite genres/artists). when i was little, it was mostly cassettes with random popular songs from the 80s/90s, and the radio and later 'wedding pop' (i'm not sure if it's the right expression. crappy Hungarian songs that were big once, or music from popular bands that are pretty terrible). but it turns out one of them listened to rock/metal, too, once upon a time, so that's kinda cool (they can't really name anything, so it was more casual listening i think). sharing music with each other isn't really a thing, even though i played music from a young age and got into different bands growing up. but of course, those are silly and also no one cares

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

Think by Kaleida - it's in John Wick and it's so catchy and just. wah. it's so good.

Guns Go Bang by Kid Cudi & JAY-Z - The Harder They Fall soundtrack in its entirety and the movie fuck so hard. i remember seeing the trailer before it came out and being so excited because it looked great cinematographically and also the music sounded really cool. it is, and it became one of my favorite action movies.

That Which Binds Us Through Time: The Chemical, Physical and Biological Nature of Love; an Exploration of The Meaning of Meaning, Part 1 by well, technically Wyld Stallyns - it's Bill & Ted. the third movie is so fucking sad, but it's also really pretty and-. yeah. i have very normal thoughts and feelings about it if anyone's interested.

+ ooohh, that's a dangerous inquiry (i'm not gonna be able to do just 3, i apologize in advance, and also for the rambling. i started writing out my favorites and narrowed it down to this. the purples are what i would say are the contenders for top 3 at this moment, but it's always changing)

Atlas, Rise!, Halo on Fire - one of my favorite 'modern' songs, especially the live versions of the latter with the additional intro James does

All Nightmare Long, Cyanide, The Unforgiven III, The Judas Kiss - Death Magnetic is full of such ominous songs, but people shit on it because of the whole compression issue, but i still like it. i even wanted to embroider the album cover onto my jacket (with cool, small stitches for the dirt and all that), changed my mind (or did i?) since, because i like the album but maybe not that much. i don't know, we'll see

Until It Sleeps, Bleeding Me, The Outlaw Torn - i think my all time favorite album is Load. i could ramble about each song for a while, it's such a great era, i adore James' vocals, the songwriting was top notch, and let's not get into the emotions and themes

Sad But True - this one was one of my first favorites and the only more popular/'classic' favorite of mine. i always forget about the existence of it, which is so funny, because i have the Pushead art shirt (also one of my favorite shirt designs from Pushead/for the band) and also because it's popular and it goes so hard, but for some reason my brain forgets it. then i listen to it and fall in love all over again

Devil's Dance, The Unforgiven II, Prince Charming, Low Man's Lyric, Fixxxer - right up there with Load. they are twin albums, i love them both, again, the vocals, the feels, the self-loathing, the grime. adore it

No Leaf Clover, - Human - S&M, my beloved. these two are up there with my all time favorite songs of theirs. they are truly bangers, the themes, the lyrics, the energy. the symphony compliments them so well

St. Anger, Dirty Window - the entirety of St. Anger is really close to my heart. i know people hate it, although i can't understand it. it's raw, it's painful and ugly and really, really angry. the album cover embroidery that i did for my battle jacket is i think my favorite design that i've ever done (even though it's wonky and not at all square-shaped)

The Call of Ktulu - my favorite instrumental, the bass is *mwah*

#buba answers #this got out of hand