#maybe it’s the tism talking

[shortamarble]

i’ve listened to mr. joey bateys song ‘welly boots’ approximately 156 times this week and every time i listen to it i relate it more and more to geralt and jaskier 😭 i know it’s technically about coping with the death of a loved one but don’t the lyrics just SCREAM geraskier ??

Oh darling lord, how you make me laugh/ Get drunk for me, sing louder than you’ve sung for me/ Grow young each time that thunder in your lungs begins to rumble at the world/ 'Cause you were always strong

They said ‘That girl, she’s wrong’/ But I’ll stick up for you, even though you haven’t got a clue, you haven't got a fucking clue

You’ll miss me, oh Jesus Christ, you’ll miss me/ Just as much as all those years ago, and you’ll look up at the storm

You’ll say ‘I’ve been so scared/You left me here behind, do you not care?/ How the fuck am I supposed to carry on without you here?‘

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #jaskier #geraskier #dandelion #maybe it’s the tism talking #maybe i’m just projecting everything onto my favs again because of it #but this song still got me crying thinking about them #it’s mixed pov #but it MAKES SENSE #joey batey #is a genius #a genius lyricist #and storyteller #and i love all of his songs

[argo-bolo]

if s1jon is anything like me and he had his glasses cloth with him, he'd see someone with dirty/smudged glasses and be like "hand them over" aggressively and clean them before handing them back going "how unprofessional of you to have dirty glasses" and walk away

like, imagine him doing it to martin

martin fucking confused and starstruck and dying

#magpod #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #i have literally done this to my girlfriend in the past and i'm 5'2 and she's over 6' tall #we'd be talking and i'd fish out my glasses cloth and say well hand them over they're gross #she'd be slightly confused and i would have to go your glasses hun #i have walked up to co-workers saying hey do you want to borrow my glasses cloth because of how smudged their glasses were #i do this for sunglasses too #maybe it's a tism thing idk #idk why i wanted to share this but i've been running on a theory that i'm just all of s1 archive crew shoved into one body #but mostly jon and martin #argo-bolo originals

[rust-in-polar1s]

do you guys ever just spend hours writing down pages of autism symptoms (+stims n other shit) you have and then proceed to doubt that your autistic

#like help???? i spent so long just hyperfocused on that tism research and now im just like?????? #me??? autistic?? nahhh i mean maybe im just a nt who just has a few (A5) pages of autism symptoms and gets overly obsessed with shit a lot #but like seriously though what the fuck i even looked at the DSM5 and qualified for all the categories and im still here doubting this- #oh well i guess ill just try and talk to my psychologist about this when i see her next #autism #neurodivergent #autism symptoms #asd #AND THEN ALSO I HAVE A LOT OF ADHD SYMPTOMS SO IM LIKE WHAT IF ITS THE TISM(TM) OR WHAT IF ITS ADHD OR WHAT IF ITS BOTH OR WHAT IF ITS NONE #adhd #nd #and then even my autistic friends are like “yeah bestie you prolly have the tism” AND IM STILL DOUBTING IT??????? #fml oml #now to hyperfocus on my special interests :33 and forget about this cause memory goes brrrrr

[saltydoesstuff]

Y'all ever just not feel real?

Like you're there, but not there. You feel things, but you aren't. It all feels the same, which is nothing- or it's too fuzzy to tell any difference? You see yourself, but it's not you. You don't recognize yourself in the mirror, you don't know who that is, but it isn't you. You don't know what you look like, but it isn't what is in the mirror.

I want to do things, but I can't. And I don't know why.

I don't like these days.

#saltyrants #derealization #depersonalization #tw derealization #tw dereality #tw depersonalization #should i talk to a doctor about this? #maybe #but the last time i tried i got literally ignored so i don't know if i wanna try again #same with when i ask if i can get tested for the tism ifjekwn #this time of year my mental health always crashes and burns so i'm sorry in advance if i just like dip off the face of the earth #i still love all of you /p it just be too tiring to post sometimes #probably gonna delete later iebkjadsn

[sophiethewitch1]

www reader "of course i follow dick grayson's cereal review Instagram" not-wayne

#sophie speaks #series:www #this is turning into a weird chapter #i didnt want to write tim this weird so early on but he's just like. a little guy #im just gonna go with 'hes weird sometimes and not weird sometimes but nobody acknowledges it at all so get gaslit loser' #tim accidentally pscyhologically torturing reader #but later it will very likely be on purpose lets be real here #bruce wayne: i have five very normal children. what are you talking about they're all freaks they're all very normal #idk maybe ill save the weird tim behavior for later. he's so fucking strange <3 cryptid white boy with the tism rizz

[anonymusbosch]

a forever-baffling thing about my father is that he often asks me questions about things he is nominally interested in but seems to have no interest in gathering information to answer them, even from me.

dad: what kind of tracks do you think these are?

me: huh, that's really interesting! It looks almost like a sled or ski track or something manmade but being pulled by a dog? And the gait is really funky with the paws directly side-by-side. It almost makes me think of one of those two-legged dogs with the wheels in the front but with a little ski instead

dad: I think it's a beaver :)

me: Hm. Here's the pages from my mammal track book on beavers. The paws are really different shapes and sizes and super asymmetrical, and the tail drag seems like it should be covering part of the tracks but this thing has really fresh and neat looking tracks pressed into a very uniform drag. Maybe a carnivore walking in the pressed-down snow track left by something manmade?

me: I missed that it could be a 2x2 trot I'm not super familiar with the different gaits.

dad: maybe a coyote following a beaver?

me: Still don't think it's likely to be a beaver because there don't look to be any beaver footprints at all. I'll look on iNat, though, and see what other tracks in the area look like

me: *browsing iNat* *doing a few IDs on the side* *maybe I should get my dad a tracks guidebook and a little ruler for christmas* *would he even use them?*

dad: here is a photo with my better camera. I think it is a beaver and also other animals.

me: well there are still no beaver prints, which are very distinct, visible here. These might be otter prints? See the five toes? If you took a photo with a scale bar like a ruler or credit card that could help narrow it down. Here are some photos from my book!

dad: seems like a cool book!

me: I'd be happy to bring it when I visit :)

dad: would an otter tail be wide enough to leave that trail?

me: I'm still not convinced it's a tail, especially with how the footprints are pressed cleanly into it...

me: *googling otter trails* yes! perfect! look! it's an otter slide! it's a dead match! here are four articles and a youtube video on otter slides!

dad: looks like you've solved it :)

me: you could post on iNat and see if anyone else agrees!

dad: nope looks like it's solved!

like, are you reaching out to connect with your semi-estranged kid? are you curious about the tracks? what kind of behavior model produces just "I think it is a beaver" over and over with virtually no elaboration?

thoughts/advice welcome

#long post #personal #genuinely do not understand how to talk with him #maybe incompatible tisms but yknow

[daisychainsandbowties]

love just inventing new types of star wars droids so that beatrice has someone to talk to 😭😭😭

#it's the 'tism #in her despondent era like... maybe talking to a tray will fix me #wn star wars au

[mj-irl]

Last night at dinner my middle sibling started talking about possibly getting diagnosed with Irlen Syndrome (a processing disorder.)

They could totally have this but as I’m sitting there with my Autism diagnosis next to my youngest sibling with the ADHD diagnosis while our middle siblings reveals their potential diagnosis I’m thinking… why do they get to sit here so causally and talk about this?

When I got diagnosed in college like 10 years ago I was relieved but family either didn’t want to hear it, didn’t believe it or I wasn’t even allowed to talk to them about it because idk it was a ‘shameful’ diagnosis. I’ve had to hint at and talk around my issues. My parents have always been against labels.

I’ve never been able to talk openly at the dinner table about it and I was just sooo put off that they could. My other thought of course was ‘have you looked into ADHD or Autism, they run in the family.’

#labels #diagnosis #actuallyautistic #autistic #we all have sensory processing problems #we all have undefined learning disabilities #maybe irlen’s is related #maybe it’s just the ‘tism #long post #mj talks #mj-irl

[monkshoods]

this shot of brigitte makes me insane... look at her.. her autism swag is off the charts. shes literally stimming here. shes staring at ginger and jason get it on, shes stimming shes doing self stimulatory behavior shes my wife. shes so real

#its brigitte fitzgerald and her bone-shaped pen that she uses as a stim toy against the world #brigitte always being seen as more different than ginger always been the odd sister always being stranger than her... its the tism #also im constantly thinking abt how when sam tracked down brigitte and talked to her abt the picture she didnt make eye contact #a single time the whole scene. MAYBE she glanced up at him #brigitte fitzgerald

[barnbridges]

twofers and autism moms on the venn diagram should be like, 80% overlapping and 20% out, but it's so rare to see anyone with actual autism or awareness of that it's a fucking disability hang around the mommy circles it disappoints me endlessly.

#like i do not mean to be mean towards all neurotypical caretakers #i am very sure a lot of them are fine people and take care of their children #and especially people who have adult children with high support needs i applaud them #but my fucking god does it sometimes feel like everyone is promoting shit like aba and the conversation is more like #a mommy blog #than about what being a PERSON with a DISABILITY is #like sometimes i do understand its hard - being a mom is an identity #and fathers esp those of disabled children can be flakey #but i cannot fix your family #but you invade spaces for people like me #to worry about raising your child not to be happy not to support themselves not to be comfortable but to be “normal” #and frankly that's terrifying #like yes spaces for parents are important #but godfucking damn it does it feel dehumanizing sometimes #like the tism is just for nonverbal children - who these parents talk about as if they are pets #and adult people are just a little offcolor #i am looking for spaces for me that arent the chess club at my university (shouout to our coach remus how ya doing u autism creature) and i #its so overwhelming and dehumanizing a lot of the time when parents walk in and make it so much about THEM #like i empathize with you and i might give you insight into your child MAYBE but other than that... where is MY support #I NEED SUPPORT - skyler white

[bambi-on-the-ps3]

I work a 9 to 5 (PM to AM) job (indulgence in media I like) to provide for my family (me and my friends’ hyperfixations)

When I get home, I like to treat myself to a nice cold beer (more material for my hyperfi

#on that grind (consuming media with silly little characters) #i think this is what oingo boingo was talking about in that one song #coping mechanism #hm? #touch of the tism maybe

[i-am-thevoid]

genuinely uncomfortable with people being attracted to me lately esp when I KNOW they arent seeing me in the way I want like please fuck off and leave me alone

#that one person who kept messaging me after i said i was goin thru shit a d couldnt talk and they proceeded to CONTINUOUSLY FUCKING message #being all like ohhhh youre ao my type shut up and fuck off I said i cant do this and another who makes it so awkward but afterwards will #text tge same thing everyday im sorry but im too tired to deal with conversations rn #and im atarting to tgink hey maybe im not interested in relationships at all!! #im just a manwhore in theory but i cannot deal with commitment #idk im so bad at tgis stuff #but like cmon cant i just live my life theyre projecting shit onto me and assuming my gender/sexuality like FUCK OFF let me BE MYSELF #please #rant cause ig this is actually pissing me off? #i wish i knew how to deal with this shit man. help #IM LOSING MY MIND AND ITS NOT FUN. PEOPLE IN MY LIFE PLEASE SEE THAT I AM 2S AND STOP ASSUMING #doesnt help that ive never really been hit on before genuinely and am kinda new at this and very confused (fellas got a touch of the tism)

[supercantaloupe]

just occurred to me this morning as i woke up this morning why i'm (probably) so taken aback by people in orchestra being So Nice to me cause i saw some photos on social media posted by ppl i traveled to [redacted] with, people who only stood to even have a conversation with me as a last resort kind of social option. i have literally Never gotten along with groups of people, Ever, unless that group of people was also orchestra people. seriously

#i wanna talk about me #sasha speaks #i'd say it's kind of sad that most of my irl social life (and half of my online one) begins and ends with other musicians #and probably should've realized YEARS ago what that says about me and my dumb brain (a touch of the 'tism) #but at the same time like. idk i can't truly make myself feel Bad about 90% of my social life #being in the rehearsal hall for the past 7 years #cause i do love playing and i love being somewhere where people don't Fucking Hate Me #(or at least where i'm not constantly the last choice of person to interact with. sometimes below no interaction at all) #and if i convinced myself to hate orchestra on the grounds of it being My One Social Outlet i'd just. idk. die or something #cause i literally have nothing else lol all k have is music #idk maybe music people have an ulterior motive (want me to play good for/with them) #but that's better than not wanting to have anything to do with me at all right? #and anyway. some violist saying he'd rather see me playing principal on the concert than dan. he's got no skin in that game right #except for being nice and liking me as a player #and while i want to be liked as a Person too i'd rather be liked as a player over not liked at all #(i don't think he even necessarily dislikes me as a person. we just never interact outside of rehearsal so i've never really encountered #him in a different context so i wouldnt know lol) #just. agh. getting invited to sit at the lunch table with other people by a pianist classmate. man!! #they don't know that.jpg it means so much to me just to be invited to eat together

[extreme-technicality]

My day be so fine then bam

Overstimulation

#technical talks #they be in awe of my tism #bro I can barely stand to have myself touch myself rn wtf #and most sounds are on thin fucking ice #like I don’t wanna be alone but if anyone touches me or interacts with me I Will Cry (And Maybe Scream Too) #miracle I haven’t done it yet tbh

[fortheturnstiles]

barely spoke in class today because my brain is full of rocks but i DID jump at the chance to explain woodstock and the free concert at altamont to everybody when the professor brought it up . so that’s a win

#making vague attempts at sharing things about myself in a roundabout way by talking about my interests whenever they are relevant #instead of trying to make friends with the people in this class lol #in my mind it’s like maybe they’ll see i like old music & music history and want to talk about it …. maybe … #as i was writing this post i was like oh it’s the autism. everything comes back to the tism as always

[birdieboots]

maybe this is just me. but if you need your fave cc to address every single bad comment they’ve ever said after they’ve already made posts stating how they’ve grown in the last 5 years, i don’t think you genuinely want people to learn from their past mistakes and change

like i understand being upset whenever new things come to light but when it’s in the same realm of other things that they’ve said you’re just going to get the same carbon copy apology of “i’ve learned and grown since then” because what else is there to say?

if you can’t tell that the person you’re watching isn’t who they were 5 years ago then what is an apology going to change?/gen

#maybe it’s the ‘tism talking but i don’t know #does any of this make sense?? #discourse #cw discourse