part 2!!!! [read part one here]
transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:
“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn.
we were told to point her at whoever we need gone
“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will
it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye
she was specially selected for her hunting skill
it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try
think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse?
“given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.”
[“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?]
it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress
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“why haven’t you ever drawn mag200 art” because if i think too hard about mag200 i start getting dealt hit points like a minecraft poison potion
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you are the most important person in this story.
you are dead.
this story is your own drawn out funeral. you are not the main character, and yet your ghost lives in the shadow of every step they take. you have been consumed, body and mind, and words spill from your voice without your direction. your actions are judged in your absence; you are on trial and you cannot defend yourself. you have no defense.
you are not the main character. you are not a character. you are a foundation. you are an idea. you are a lesson. (you are a villain, in every story but your own.)
there are two ghosts in this story. one is at the center of it all. the other is you. the first one is also you. he decided to be. (and then he decided not to be.)
(he killed you and decided you weren't good enough.)
you didn't have a voice. you didn't get a say. you weren't even there.
no one knows how you felt about dying. they didn't need to. you are not a main character in this story. (this story is not about you.) you are the most important piece of this story. (this story could not happen without you.) you do not have the power to change anything.
you have the power to change nothing. (whether you want to or not.)
you are in checkmate.
(you've never been very good at chess. what an infuriating game.)
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honestly along with agendas and conflict aversion and people not being able to be normal about a nonbinary character they perceive as a man, I do think a very real part of the "Ashton was being manipulative to Fearne!!" thing is like some people on this website (and some fans in general) are not very good at recognizing when someone is joking/teasing/etc. and like if you have trouble reading tone, that's fine. I'm also not always great at it, but like please consider that sometimes people say things to be funny or flippant and not because they sincerely mean what they are saying. people also do this a lot more often in high stress situations.
like yeah maybe I'm wrong and speaking from my own biases (press x to doubt) that I read Ashton's declaration that "it's never gonna happen again! that's the one you get!" regarding kissing Fearne as like being contrarian on purpose because Fearne had just joked about going back on putting the shard in, but like... Taliesin was also laughing and clearly being contrarian on purpose. like I'm excited for callowmoore tension in the fallout of "I Did Something Inadvisable After Only Talking to The Chaos Girl About It And Now I Have To Change My Character Sheet 2: Die Harder" but like I see that being held up as the evidence that Ashton was taking advantage of Fearne's crush, but as far as I'm concerned, that was a non-statement about their relationship at worst and actively flirting at best.
idk to make a joke, and to be very clear, this is a joke: it has the same energy as that post back in the day where someone was like: i love telling people I'm no when I'm doing the thing they ask for. "can you pass the salt?" "no" I say as I pass them the salt. and then someone was making a fuss about how that was gaslighting in the reblogs.
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The whole time I've been reading Flatland I've tried to picture what a comparable version of it would be for a 4 dimensional being visiting a 3 dimensional being. I've been picturing 4d vision as being able to see the entire surface area of a 3d object all at once, but now I think that might be comparable to a 2d person thinking that 3d vision only means being able to see all of the exterior edges of an object at once, without picturing any of the planes that connect the lines. I think a more accurate description of 4d vision might involve being able to see *every single* cross-section of a 3d object all at once, from *every possible* angle at once, as one coherent visual whole. And the idea of someone being able to see every single cross-section of a body all at once, brain and guts and everything, laid out all together as if on a flat plane, is a horrifying mental image
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Soooo do any of you remember when I mentioned here aaaages ago that I was making a knitted blanket out of little puzzle pieces? No? Anyway, I need 496 pieces and today, after 7 1/2 years I finally finished knitting all the pieces!!!
This is what it looks like all arranged nicely on my floor. (The white pieces of paper on top of the stacks have the number of puzzle pieces for that colour on them but it doesn't show up well on camera...) On the left are the stacks of long and short edge pieces and the four corners.
This took you 7,5 years??? you might say. Well, yeah. But mostly because I did this in between other projects. I knitted a whole bunch of sweaters and socks and other things in the meantime and when I was finished with one of those I started knitting puzzle pieces again. Sometimes just a couple but lately larger batches of 20-40 in a row. So bit by bit my stack of finished pieces grew!
Each piece took me about 30 minutes to knit (please don't do the maths on this one thanks) and by about piece 50 I could knit them by heart. The pattern is quite easy, there's just a couple of techniques you might need to learn (cable cast-on and wrap-and-turn short rows), otherwise it's all just stockinette stitch and increases/decreases. A very nice mindless project for watching tv with the added benefit that quite quickly, you finished something!
All of these are sock yarns. Many of them I had left over from knitting socks or other items but especially in the last few years I purposefully bought yarns I liked and colours that I thought were missing to make it as colourful as possible. I quite like the array of colours I got in the end! Looking at the other project pages on Ravelry I realised quite quickly that I didn't like the look of the blankets with lots of variegated colours or gradients so apart from using up leftover yarn (and the rainbow yarn at the bottom!!!) I only used solid colour yarns.
The next step now is to lay them all out on my floor and figure out how I want to arrange them. And then... lots and lots and lots of sewing. I'm confident it won't take another 7 1/2 years but please let it be less than three...
You can find my project here on Ravelry and the pattern can be bought also on Ravelry from the designer for 5.95$. It's called "Puzzle Pieces" by Megan Ellinger. You don't even have to make a full blanket, you can just make whichever number of pieces and make a scarf, a placemat, a pillowcase... (or just make one as a keychain!)
Anyway, on to the sewing now.
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When I first finished my Amaldyne ref I started on an image of her breathing dragonfire but never finished it. Until now! Here she is my beautiful baby girl setting things on fire. Idk how I feel about the shading but I'm kinda proud about how revenant!Amaldyne looks. (Also if you're wondering why her neck is Like That it's because maintaining your form as a big hungry goop puddle is especially hard when you're also angy). This was mostly just to see how dragonfire looks when I try blending it a bit (which I don't do on the refs to make it more clear which colors go where) but I might mess around with it in the future, idk.
Anyway some Lizard Lore(TM): dragonfire is a very unique substance. Impossible to replicate (at least under current magical science), dragonfire can and will destroy everything it touches save for the dragon who breathes it. All dragons have at least a few sparks (even if all they ever manage to do is cough up smoke and embers), but a vast majority only have enough to breathe out a single stream for a few minutes, after which they'll need to stop and recover. Amaldyne is probably about average when it comes to dragonfire (although nothing about my universe is set in stone yet sooooo). Dragonfire can come in any color except blue (although there are a handful of old, scattered scraps of legend about a powerful sky dragon with bright cyan flames). It also sometimes feels more like a dragon's element rather than regular fire (although most who get hit by it are generally too distracted by the feeling of being burned by magic fire to describe the experience afterwards). Amaldyne, as a poison dragon, has fire that feels like getting doused in acid (complete with an odd, slimy sensation that lingers for awhile after). It's pretty common and there really isn't any particular significance to it. Just an odd quirk of dragon magic. Also, if a dragon's fire is somehow extinguished (methods to do so are currently unknown) or stolen (incredibly difficult but also quite possible, if you know a few tricks), it WILL kill them. A dragon won't survive without their dragonfire, not even for a moment.
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