Midnight Pals: Magic
Ray Bradbury: and so, at that dusty little carnival on that humid summer night
Bradbury: that little boy saw real magic for the first time
Aleister Crowley: c’mon, that’s not what real magic is
Crowley: real magic is when get a woman to suck your dick so hard you can move objects with your mind
Crowley: GO WILDCATS!
Crowley: helps if you’re wearing a big pyramid hat with an eyeball on it
Crowley: chicks cannot resist the big pyramid hat with the eyeball
Crowley: [nudging Sonia greene] eh? Eh?
Greene: it’s over aleister
Crowley: I don’t get it, leah hirsig went mad with lust in 3 minutes
Victor Neuburg: glavin I really like your pyramid hat aleister
Crowley: S-SHUT UP NERDBURG
Crowley: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I’LL POUND YOU
[later]
Crowley: [blushing, confused] h-he said he liked my pyramid hat <3
Alan Moore: [appearing in a cloud of smoke]
Alan Moore: foolish hedge wizard!! Your powers are nothing compared to the arch magus!
Moore: true magic is when you roll a natural 12 on your dexterity saving throw!
Manly Wade Wellman: No way! Real magic is when you wrap a potato with red yarn and bury it under a widow’s doorstep
Eve Harms: you’re all full of it
Harms: real magic is all about memorizing a really complicated math diagram
Ray Bradbury: you all claim you’re versed in the ways of magic
Bradbury: but can any of you explain away the mystery of what makes a young man’s heart flutter pitter pat when he first calls on his lady friend, her freshly laundered shift dress rippling in the warm autumn breeze, to escort her to the barn dance down at Miller’s General Store?
Moore:
Crowley:
Wellman:
Harms:
Bradbury: also real magic is about electricity
Bradbury: can any of you put a light bulb in your mouth and make it light up?
Crowley: what, like uncle fester?
Bradbury: yeah like uncle fester
Crowley:
Crowley: oh hell, I can’t compete with that
Eve Harms: no but check out this diagram of eight intersecting triangles
Harms: it’s called "the thinkological fulcrum"
Crowley: whats it do
Harms: if you cross your eyes just right, it shows you a biblically accurate angel
Crowley: hmm
Crowley: I could probably fuck that
Crowley: here, show me how it works
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well my name is John Silver if I didn't tell you that before. It could have slipped my mind. I don't really recollect, to tell you the truth.
Well it might be because I've been traveling a piece and my feet are worn thin and it seems like I haven't ate in nearly week. I reckon I could write a song about that. Maybe something like.
I been rambling across hills and valleys.
Up the ohio river. To the mountains and the lakes.
My body is frail and thin.
But the devil hasnt caught me yet.
It does got a pretty ring to it don't you think. I mean a got this silver string guitar for a reason. It's my protector and my curse I reckon. Some say it's on account of the silver tooth I got back when I fell and knocked it out when I was youngen but I figure it's because of the silver strings on guitar and my mighty sweet voice. Some of even say i got the voice of an angel or could be the devil. So they say. I mean I seen my share of devils and haints and the like. Maybe it's the belief in the lord that saves me and the cross around my neck. That saves me from these demons and the right ornery critters that cross my path. I figure I ought to tell you about one of those critters I come across maybe some months back could even be years it's hard for me to tell. All this traveling just blurring together. So that I can barely tell the difference. I mean it was a day just like this one. I was going about like i normally do, going to some towns playing on the corners and getting a few coins, and sleeping in folks barns and playing for them and drinking moonshine and playing with the gals. At one of those barn raising we was kicking up dust and I was playing and boy I was having a time. Well I met with this one gal. She was pretty, she sure was. And we was dancing and we was having a good time and my head was spinning and i didnt even no which was up or down. And we went outside. And she told me.
You want to go on down in the woods and maybe you could sing me a song. I really would like it if you could sing me a song. You got such an awful pretty voice.
Well I said. Well i figure we could. I mean I was feeling so good. And thinking she was such fine looking gal. I mean i done that plenty. In my travels but sometimes that's what gets me in trouble in the first place. You know what i mean. And i figure this was another one of those times
So I said. I reckon I could play you something.
There was a gal named Anna Belle Lee
Sweetest gal you ever did see
She had a mean old husband
Who died by the banks of the ohio
The last we seen of him
Said AnnabelleLee.
On the banks of the ohio
And she said. Thst the sweetest thing anybody ever done for me. And it was so kind of you because you knew my name was Anna Belle. You made up a song for me right then
Now I got a nose for smelling out haints and ghosts and the like. Now I should have known something wasn't right then. But I had been a drinking and a singing. So didn't really pay it any mind.
Well ain't that funny your name being Anna belle. Must be the song is about you. Must be made just for you.
And something came in here eyes then. Like I could see straight through. Being that haints ain't got no soul. You can look right through them.
Something devilish in her eyes.
Why dont we go swimming john. The river is not far. Only a fair piece. Through the woods.
Well I figured I had it made then. Boy did I ever. So I said. Well come on then. I ain't been swimming since winter come and gone. But if I don't got any clothes. I figure I'll float like a leaf or sink like a rock. Either way I reckon.
So we took off down the road. I mean I don't even know if it was one. It being so dark and we was drinking and carrying on. And we was laughing and touching and such. Until she got to talking about her husband.
And the souless light came in her eyes then.
That emptiness of eternal damnation was in those eyes of hers.
Normally that would have chilled me to the bone
But being on account i was feeling mighty fine on moonshine i couldnt tell the difference
As we got near that river. And anna belle lee told me her story. The story of how she up and killed her husband and tossed him in the river all those years ago. They said she lived up on a lone mountain top in a cabin until that vengence made her like all those other haints. They just get eaten away I reckon. But she wasnt telling it all quite yet. But she was getting around to it and being my foggy mind hadnt come out of its stupor as she was telling her story and we was walking along the river in the moonlight, so it took Me a spell to figure it all out and stitch it all together. Being it was such a fine night and she was such a pretty gal. As she was talking and I was following with my guitar strumming it a bit and humming her song wondering when we was going to be taking our clothes off.
But those words were irritating her I could tell it.
Her mouth seemed to draw back.
As she was talking and her voice grew harsh like the grinding up of corn in the mill.
You see John my husband was a right bad man
Did beat on me whenever he took to drinking.
But he loved to go a fishing and take me long to carry things for him.
And he would say gal get on out there and unsnag my pole. And go get that fish on the end of it.
And sometimes he would hit me if I didn't do it.
Dont sass me gal.
Well one night john.
As she bared her teeth.
For I knew it now. I knew it was Annabelle lee. Be it not her body and soul. But maybe her spirit was still in that haint.
Well one night I didn't feel like getting no nasty pole. For him. Not at all john.
I felt like drowning him body and soul.
John. Body and soul and to take my husband to meet his very maker.
As she rose up now. Like the light of the moon.
And she had bared long curved teeth like all them haints have. Whether man woman or child. They all the same in that regard. And they all have something that ties them and chains them to the earth. I do believe. Or that always been my experience. .
And now John Silver you shall meet your maker like my dearly departed husband on that by and by down near the banks of this river just like he did all them Years ago.
And now she was twenty foot tall. With those vicous teeth. And she was just a haint now. No women or person to speak of.
But I had sobered up by then. And had put two and two together. When that light of the moon had finally seen through her.
And I sang that song. The ballad of her death and what had become of Anna belle lee.
And I sang loud and mournful
For what happened to Anna belle lee
Which I knew were an injustice that needed to be remedied.
And I sang louder as she cowered back.
Down by the banks of the ohio
Where the prettiest little gal you ever seen
Killed that man
That man who done her wrong
And tossed his body down along
The banks of the ohio
Which did run smooth and straight
Taking his body all the way down
Down to the sea
As her spirit shrank away
And those teeth went back in her mouth
And she right disappeared.
She went on back to where she belonged
And those things troubled her no more.
And her spirt was at peace.
Anna belle lee.
As I just sat there with my guitar
And slept a while and thought on the
Pain of Anna belle and how she became a haint
And why a man would do such a thing
To a pretty gal like her.
But in the morning I took to the road again.
Took up guitar and the sun was out.
And strummed on it and hummed that song
Anna belle lee
And I knew she was resting up there on the mountain top.
And I figured that was the best thing for her
As I went on a spell
To the next town.
Rustling up some change.
And I sang that song of Anna belle lee
To all those folks around.
And they seemed to like it
But they don't know all the song.
Of what that husband of hers had made her
They didn't know but half of it, I
Reckon.
I reckon they didnt.
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