Midnight Pals: the beard is blue
Anna Biller: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of bluebeard's castle
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Shelley: you telling a gothic story here?
Biller: it's not gothic, it just uses classic story telling elements of gothic
Biller: it's its own original thing
Shelley: oh yeah yeah i'll be the judge of that
Shelley: seein' as i invented gothic and all
Biller: it's not gothic, it just uses classic-
Biller: it's not like angela's bluebeard story
Biller: very different
Biller: but let me explain angela's story in detail
Biller: blow by blow
Biller: for pages
Biller: this woman goes to a spooky secluded manor
Biller: like daphne du maurier's rebecca
Biller: with a brooding aristocratic husband
Biller: like Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights!
Biller: and she has a sweet heavenly voice
Biller: like urkel!
Biller: this part of my story is a reference to Jane Eyre
Biller: you guys might not have heard of it, its pretty obscure
Biller: don't worry, i'll just grind the story to a halt so that i can describe jane eyre
Biller: and this bit is a reference to dracula
Barker: oh my god its like gothic ernest kline
Poe: clive, be nice
Biller: anyway eventually she kinda just putters around until her brooding husband poisons her
Biller: and there was nothing she could do to avoid it
Biller: real girl boss hours
Shelley: what, she just gets poisoned?
Shelley: couldn't be me
Shelley: if i was there, i would have shivved that bastard but good
Biller: UM no actually
Biller: that wouldn't work!
Biller: there's a whole concluding chapter about how stupid you, the reader, are for thinking she escape
Shelley: rip to her but i'm different
Biller: so what do you think?
Mary Shelley: i like the bit where you just repeated angela's version
Poe: clive
Poe: no wait i mean
Poe: mary
Angela Carter: no no i can see why she might like that part
Biller: the important thing about my work is to know that women and men should stay in their lanes and follow the strict rules of their gender
Patricia Highsmith: poison's a broad's thing
Biller: excuse me?!
Highsmith: that's how a dame does a murder
Highsmith: a real man does a murder with his hands
Biller:
Highsmith: or a boat oar
Highsmith: see, my ripley-
Biller: oh god again with the ripley
Biller: always with your OC patricia! we're all tired of hearing about your OC!
Shelley: no patricia's right, killing a guy with a boat oar is cool
Shelley: poison's sissy shit
Shelley: i like how ripley does all those murders
Shelley: fucker's got style
Highsmith: that's what i've been saying!
Anna Biller: see, Bluebeard's castle is all about how men are men (evil) and women are women (stupid)
Biller: as opposed to the love witch, which was about how men are men (stupid) and women are women (evil)
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Writer/Director Clive Barker on the set of the first Hellraiser movie.
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Hellraiser (1987)
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How the heck is there not more talk about Tanith Lee??
Like my gosh, the woman wrote, according to her wiki, 90 books, over 300 short stories, two World Fantasy Awards, and was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award/Augus Derleth Award and wrote for tv shows.
Like, it's not like she just wrote a heck ton but wasn't very good! She was clearly very good she won awards, and i've read a swath of her stuff across different genres and really enjoyed most of it. I mean that even if not each one has been my cup of tea I can at least appreciate the skill and quite a lot I have truly enjoyed. She's got great prose and style and imagination. Not everything obviously was a banger, but they've all been at least well written, which is harder to come by in writing than you might think.
But nobody ever seems to talk about her?? And I feel like the fantasy crowd on here would really enjoy her stuff. The woman has done stuff in pretty much every genre from what I can see, but I never see her listed on fantasy authors like Clive Barker or Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or Diane Duane even though she was writing at the same time and has a similar sort of '80s Doing Cool Stuff with Fantasy vibe' I feel like people who like those authors would enjoy though she's very much her own style of author.
Anyway this was really just me putting out a rant that such a prolific and talented author seems to have fallen by the wayside and I think it's really a shame
Heck she even did a witch-queen fighting againt vampire Snow White a whole decade before Neil Gaiman did his phenomenal Snow Glass Apples and it's also excellent, give a look here:
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HELLRAISER
1987, dir. Clive Barker
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Clive Barker x mcfarlane toys ‘tortured souls’ concept art
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Clive Barker
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Midnight Pals: Imagination
Neil Gaiman: [inhaling fresh morning air] ahhhh what a great day for a race!
Clive Barker: what race?
Gaiman: the HUMAN race
Gaiman: i was just thinking of the awesome potential of the human mind
Gaiman: and the limitless vista of the human imagination
Gaiman: just imagine! with the awesome power of imagination, YOU are in control of your own fantasies
Gaiman: all you need is a pinch of curiosity, a dash of wonder
Gaiman: and an ounce of whimsy!!
Gaiman: butterfly in the skyyyy
Gaiman: i can fly twice as hiiiigh
Gaiman: why, you could imagine anything!
Gaiman: you could imagine a clockwork alligator as big as the sky!
Gaiman: you could imagine a railroad conductor made of lemon drops!
Gaiman: you could even imagine
Gaiman: a boy who wears glasses and goes to a wizard school
Rowling: hello children
Rowling: my lawyersss inform me there'sss some copyright infringement happening here
Gaiman: ah but joanne
Gaiman: if you check the time stamps, i'm sure you'll find that Tim Hunter actually PREDATES harry potter
Rowling:
Rowling: curssse you gaiman
Rowling: you win thisss round
Rowling: curssse you gaiman
Rowling: not even i am rich enough to overcome the limitsss of chronological time!
Rowling: not yet
Rowling: but sssomeday
Rowling: if only i hadn't ssspent sso much on that fence
Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] Behold! The Arch magus!
King: the arch magus!
Koontz: the arch magus!
Lovecraft: the arch magus!
Barker: the arch magus!
Poe: the arch magus!
Alan Moore: behold! the story of the boy wizard antichrist!
Rowling: ALRIGHT i can definitely sssue over this
Moore: ah foolish mortal, observe and know... i never specifically SAID harry potter
Rowling:
Moore: i just said the boy wizard named [mumbles] who goes to school at [mumbles] school of witchcraft and wizardry and fights [mumbles]
Rowling: curse you moore!
Rowling: alwayssss one ssstep ahead of the game!
Rowling: curssse your plausssible deniability!
Rowling: hmmm "plaussible deniability" huh?
Rowling: well TWO can play that game...
Rowling: so anyway the nazis didn't actually commit those documented crimes
King: gosh joanne that uh kinda sounds-
Rowling: oh but you'll notice i never said the word "holocaust"
Rowling: haha i'm too sslippery for you!
Rowling: johnny law can't keep up!
Rowling: they'll never catch JK Rowling with her molted ssskin around her anklesss!
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Baphomet, Peloquin, Shuna Sassi, Vasty Moses, Kinski, Frick, Mexico, The Berserker, Kushnir Day, Leroy Gomm, Scorch, and Lude from the Nightbreed (1990)
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