It's been awhile, but I have a new thought for folks starting out investing
This blog is called "not financial advice" so this is not financial advice. Nothing on this blog is.
And.
I am working on a large-scale D&D-style banking system for a private client (my job is weird). This is putting me in touch with a lot of people in very expensive suits and it I keep pinging them:
"Let's say someone has $100 to start investing, what should they do. Like, literally $100. With $0.00 added after."
I've cobbled together some thoughts (not advice don't sue me) and cut out the bullshit and sales pitches.
Start a high-yield savings account in an FDIC insured bank. As of this writing (April 27, 2023, United States-based), it'll be somewhere between 3.5 - 4.25% APY (annual percent yield -- i.e. interest)
Go with a bank that is FDIC insured. Banks pay for this, you do not. Here are smart people talking about what FDIC is.
The percentage difference listed above is 0.75%. Moving money is a bitch, is it worth chasing 0.75%? That depends on your situation, time, etc. Here are smart people who built a calculator to help you figure it out if it's worth it to you.
Touch it as little as possible.
Start a spreadsheet that tracks your finances.
In the cell that lists the amount of this balance, give it a name. Something fun, something that speaks to you. I did this as an experiment + to participate, mine is "Slime Research Adventurer Destruction Fund".
Write a prospectus (fancy word for "this is what the goal for this cash is to do").
Slime Research Adventurer Destruction Fund prospectus: Follow the path of high-yield savings rates at {bank}. Review quarterly if other banks have a substantially better rate (+1.5%).
The entire point is to break the idea of "them not me" and "today vs. someday" and "I cannot begin to build wealth vs. someone else can."
A $100 savings INVESTMENT IN A SAVINGS ACCOUNT with a rate of 3.5-4.25% will give you interest of $3.50-4.25 at the end of the first year, then continue on growing onwards.
That is your return.
Is it as high as investing in the market? No.
Is it safer? Holy fuck yes.
When you invest in stocks, bonds, etc. you are looking for a return. This is your return.
This is not a grindset mindset work 24/7 chunk of advice. This is not a reality-disillusionment "I am struggling I need to work harder."
You need to be knowledgable about how things can work for you so you can leverage what you have, where you are, when you have it, as you can.
A high-yield savings account is not going to make you rich.
It probably won't make a difference in an emergency.
It will absolutely make a difference in non-emergency times, over a period of time.
Slime Research Adventurer Destruction Fund Destroying Adventurers.
That last point is where I'm coming to.
If you don't have enough cash to invest and/or you're not comfortable investing, that's fine.
Give your savings account a name that speaks to you. This is your investment. Your savings account = your investment account.
There is no moral or ethical difference between "I have cash shoved into a savings account" and "I have cash shoved into the stock market."
The only difference is potential risk, growth, and fees (never pay for a savings account), liquidity ("how quickly can I convert this thing into cash to buy an apple at the grocery store, pay a bill, etc.").
Make money less scary via weird names and fun graphics.
Go to a piccrew site and make a catgirl with pink and blue hair.
Name your fund "Catgirlsnax Fundsies".
Make.
Money.
Management.
Less.
Scary.
By.
Taking.
Control.
Via your own.
Desires.
Goals.
Weird quirks.
Here is to hoping these gifs are not from horrible shows I don't know anime I know money and business and monsters.
If they are then I apologize for it.
I've read the notes on my blog and a lot of you like anime. I'm hoping these resonate.
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idk man. from 2008 to 2019 i was self-employed. i dropped out of high school in 2006 and then dropped out of college in 2010 and moved to a swamp to watch my great-grandma die because that was the only thing i could afford to do. then i went back to college and lived off student loans for a while. if i managed to scrape together $500 in a single month, that was a very good month. i applied for a gamestop credit card i shouldn't have qualified for and used it to buy taco bell gift cards for when i couldn't afford groceries, then paid a stupid amount of interest on the cost of my taco bell gift cards because i couldn't afford to pay off the balance.
during that period i bought over 2000 ebooks and 600 steam games. i like to believe that i'll read or play them someday. i probably won't, with most of them. but it was nice to have the option. i paid $10 a year for a domain name that did nothing but show a single image when you went there because i thought that was funny. i bought every sims expansion. i bought a ps4 and pretended i was in debt for a ps4 instead of taco bell gift cards and the sims. i barely ever played anything on the ps4, but it was nice to have the option.
when i got a part-time retail job in 2019 ($12 an hour! 20 hours a week!) i felt RICH. i was getting $200-$300 a week! that's so much fucking money! i was spending most of it on gas, and food that i could eat in a store break room without dying. but it was still so much money!! i paid off all my credit cards and then immediately ran them back up. i bought matching couches for me and my cat at tj maxx. i bought a ferris wheel for mini cupcakes. i bought cute dresses and shoes that i never had a chance to wear because the only time i went anywhere was to work, in my work uniform. i was 29 and that was the most money i had ever had in my life. now i'm 32 with a full-time office job and most of my money goes toward debt but the rest of it ends up being spent on dumb shit. every month i look at my budget and try to figure out where it all went wrong and every month the conclusion is, "spent too much money on dumb shit". you would think that i would try to stop doing that, and yet.
it's like. i was poor and now i'm lurking somewhere near the low end of middle class, and in both cases buying dumb shit was simultaneously proof that i would be rich if i could just stop buying dumb shit, and that i couldn't possibly understand true poverty if i was capable of buying dumb shit. i do not know how to explain to people that i will always waste more time and money than anyone ever should on dumb shit that i think is funny. there is nothing i want more than to spend my last dollar on a laugh and my last minute laughing, and no one's insistence that they would use them better will change this.
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thinkin about camila. as i often do. it's been like over a year now so i think the fandom has cooled off enough for me to say this but. one of the Strangest discourses i've ever seen in any fandom Ever was. when ppl were passionately arguing about camila's finances circa thanks to them. it was Such a non-issue that it wrapped back around to me going ".....hm. might have some hurt feelings about this"
like. ok. she's a single-income earner with a daughter paying a mortgage on a house in a connecticut suburb, possibly with medical debt left over from manny's treatment, who is suddenly feeding and housing and clothing five extra teenagers. all of whom have Literally No Clothes Or Resources Whatsoever When They Arrive, who possibly have special dietary restrictions, and for whom she is not receiving Any government aid or fostering stipends because every single one of them is undocumented.
and yet. people were like. EARNESTLY going back-and-forth with LONG ESSAYS of Vicious discourse. asserting that the Only reason to think camila might struggle with money is........ because she's dominican.
and also. that her Literal Illustrated In Canon financial anxiety is just her.... being financially savvy. and showing that she's good at saving money. and that she's too smart and good at managing money to be poor.
like people broke down various vet salaries and connecticut mortgages on BOTH SIDES. to try to pretend this was a convo we even needed to be having.
and the whole time i was like.
i..... i honest to god can't tell, uh. if this is all coming from teens who completely misunderstand the material realities of the american economy (which would be reasonable, it's a show for teens)..... or.....
if you guys like. Actually Hate Poor People As Much As It Sounds Like You Do.
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