#make yourself a better person

[fifisworld212]

Do what’s right!!

I have not had the best of weeks and I can tell you the little things matter, when you suffer with mental health issues and some people make it worse on you do the right thing to make things right with your struggles.

My story isn’t any different from others who suffer with it but I took appropriate action to get the thing that was holding me back but now it is time to start the recovery process again to make me feel better for myself before thinking about other.

We , as sufferers, come first before we can see other people later when we as people feel better

#do what’s right #little things matter #mental health #do the right thing #struggles #appreciate action #recovery process #we come first #make yourself a better person

[canisalbus]

I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

.

#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ” #I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now” #“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me” #people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

[saturdaysky]

SOMEbody failed his wisdom save to resist unlimited tadpole power, and that somebody is definitely my tav Mayhew. a WIP:

mindflayers are incredibly fun to draw fwiw, do recommend

#i don't usually do linework but it's super fun #the bg3 theme about loss of identity - often expressed through increasing monstrosity - is incredibly my jam #what if you can't make it through as the same person you began - literally? what if you save everyone and are made worse for it? #what if you're a liar and a cheat in a story where consequences are inevitable & inescapable? what if there are debts that always come due? #how much worse would you make yourself for love? for curiosity? for the sake of others who deserve better? for power? #mayhew's answer so far to all of those has been 'a lot worse' and consequences just came to call #bg3 #the emperor #bg3 emperor #mayhew #gnome tav #my art #me drawing: how buff can i make a tentacle. very buff? even buffer than that?

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

what bothers me about horde prime, more than his lazy characterization or his lack of impact on the narrative, is the fact that he is such a bad representation of a cult leader. like,, this is not how cults work. they don’t just insert a chip into you and make you follow their every directive like a robot. real life cults are a lot more terrifying because they use manipulation as a tactic to convince people to join them. it’s not a digital chip that you can remove from your system and suddenly you’re in complete control of yourself. cult survivors have talked about how hard it is to actually unlearn that mindset and start thinking for themselves, how many years it takes to stop feeling guilty for leaving their cult or seeing the toxicity in the leaders they so religiously followed.

sure, hordak and catra have some trauma tied to their experience with horde prime, but most of that is because of the physical torture they went through, rather than their experience of being brainwashed. and it’s fine if horde prime was just some villain and not a genocidal cult leader. but it’s clear that he was written to be a religious authority figure, the execution is just so off.

i know he’s a character in a fantasy world, so he had to use his powers for something. but instead of turning people into robots, he could have shown them a “better world” through his tech, talked them into joining him and forgetting about all their current worries, and then used them as weapons against etheria.

it would have been a lot more impactful and angsty if catra had willingly joined horde prime’s cult so that she could repress her guilt. in fact, it would have been really interesting if horde prime had convinced catra that he would help her repend for all that she did, if she joined his cult. this would have been a lot more comparable to religious guilt and trauma in real life, and it would show that catra actually felt bad for what she did, instead of just looking sad for a while and then continuing to be a shitty person anyway.

#everyday i mourn the character horde prime could have been #he could have actually been representative of toxic religious figures who push unhealthy mindsets #instead of being all “heehee you love adora dont you” he could have been like #“i sense guilt. you’ve done a lot of horrible things and you want to take it all back but you can’t. at least you think you can’t. #but if you join me you can repend for all your sins. dedicate yourself to me and i’ll make sure you’ll never feel like a bad person again.” #and it sounds like escapism because it is #halfway through catra begins to realize this and she has to choose between repressing her guilt #and actually allowing herself to feel guilty so that she can work on being better #and instead of having adora rescue her catra rescues herself by making a hard decision #but alas #spop critical #spop salt #spop #spop discourse #spop criticism #she ra #anti spop #tw religious guilt #tw religious trauma #tw religion #tw cult

[scarlettohairdye]

Just blocked a new TERF follower and apparently I haven't been loud enough recently about MY HOT TRANSFEM WIFE who I LOVE VERY MUCH so if you come on my blog trying to be shitty to trans people I WILL DUEL YOU ON BEHALF OF MY HOT TRANSFEM WIFE AND ALSO EVERY OTHER TRANS PERSON ON EARTH

#listen i'm sorry you're so mad #about every trans person being hotter cooler and better in bed than you #but that sounds like a thing you should work on yourself #instead of making it everyone else's problem

[youregonnabeokay-kid]

i really do hope that 911 ventures further into Chris’ abandonment issues and doesn’t just ignore it for the rest of the season

#also i think they should have expanded on the buck and chris scene #buck’s on-going storyline is allll about his abandonment issues #i love that eddie was there for chris but they really missed out on a good heart-to-heart between buck and chris #something about wanting better for your kids and working to make sure they don’t have the same trauma that you do #something about seeing too much of yourself in your kid and wanting better for them #something about doing everything in your power to ensure that your kid never goes through the same things that you did #something about raising your kids in an environment that helps them become a better person than you were #something about not wanting your kids to make the same mistakes that you did and doing everything you can to lead them down the right path #something about buck reassuring chris once again that he will never leave him #that he’s loved and he’ll always have a home #christopher diaz #evan buckley #911 abc #911 on abc #911 spoilers #buckley diaz family

[mergaliscious]

it's interesting how every trait that ppl use to demonize narcissists (except for the ridiculous ones to demonize that are actually harmless) is also very prevalent among the general population, especially among untraumatized and privileged individuals

like yeah, *some* narcissists are assholes, but the traits that make them assholes are extremely common among people who don't have NPD and were simply never told they have to care about other people

it's like neurotypicals/egotypicals will accept this sort of behavior *unless* it was developed as a coping mechanism. Like it's only bad if it's a symptom of mental illness. And fuck that.

#Oh you think you're better than others bc your parents told you being white makes you superior? #Well let's give you some education and space to learn and shame POC for not wanting to be around you! #Oh you think you're better than others because you've experienced horrific abuse and had to convince yourself you're special in order to... #Survive? Wow you must be a terrible person! /s #Idk if it's a good idea to tag this as narc safe #Bc while I am saying these arguments are bad I am still talking abt them #Also ftr the traits I mention in the parentheses are like... Being obsessed with ones reflection #I've seen that used to demonize narcissists but like who does it harm???

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

I’m not sure what is so hard to get about “You can feel bad and sad for Jiang Cheng but it doesn’t make his abuse of Wei Wuxian through life an excuse or okay”. His issues are very much reasonable and his trauma exists. But it is not the excuse to say that Wei Wuxian should have been more understanding when Jiang Cheng was the one to make it a resistance for Wei Wuxian to offer more. Jiang Cheng was the one to escalate violence and harsh words long before Wei Wuxian put his own defenses up.

He was the one to met out violence in his frustrations against Wei Wuxian for the perceived wrongs made. Wei Wuxian did not need to do anything the moment Jiang Cheng decided Wei Wuxian needed to “support” him one way and one way only. That is not how healing works against an abuser and victim. And Jiang Cheng was never a victim of Wei Wuxian’s. Jiang Cheng as the abuser does not get a valid claim as to how Wei Wuxian needs to respond for him, even if Jiang Cheng chose him once.

One action over countless INACTION does not wipe his mistakes against Wei Wuxian clean. Wei Wuxian does not have to apologize for anything other than having coddled and his own ways of protecting him that enabled Jiang Cheng to grow up in the worst ways. At this point I feel the ones who say the relate to him, don't want to reflect on their own abusive thoughts that are indeed negative and want to be told "it's okay", when it clearly never was, to be relieved of their own guilt.

Because moving on is too hard for them and they don't get a reward for being told they fucked up and were in the wrong more so. Realization does not reward you when you are the abuser.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #forgivness is not the exoneration of things you still need to fix in yourself #it is no one's responsibility to make you a better person #that is on you alone #and as sweet as it may be to act otherwise that is enabling #he does not need an enabler telling him what he did was okay #even he knew this #canon jiang cheng

[muchmossymess]

At this point everytime I see a "aroace is a spectrum!!1!!" applied to alastor to okay your shipping (romantic and sexual, not platonic/queerplatonic) I am just going to say "sexuality is fluid!!1!" and start shipping angel dust and vaggie

#im kidding mostly but i am just pissed at the erasure #violence for violence is the rules of the beast dont bring yourself down to their level ect ect but sometimes petty revenge feels good #im not going to bc thats erasure of their identities and would make me a hypocrite but just. fuck. sometimes i just. yknow? #be the better person and all but i just really want to turn around and whack them with the same erasure theyre showing me #again. not doing it. just pissy and annoyed and w/e #just putting it into perspective for them i suppose #alastor #alastor aroace #vaggie #angel dust #hazbin hotel

[qcomicsy]

Marvel writer: Then Wade get involved with monsters! And–

Me:

#Who tf thought this was a good idea #by fuck sake ANY Deadpool fan liked that? I can't believe it #reveal yourself there's no way absolutely no way #“Wade joining monsters because of his face or whatever” I am going to steal your computer #I am going to call google docs and prevent you from using I am going personally install Microsoft of any eletronic you might have #Deadpool #why was this a thing #'sure let's put this torturer and cancer survivor along with monsters because he looked *like that* huh? #the only person that *might* had taken something valuable out of this was Wong and even so I have to admit it was like seeing someone #take the wrecks and try to fix it with the little time they had #and I might confess #it was good? But still it wasn't good *enough* #I do trust Alyssa work better than any recent writer by the simple fact that they like him. Like ALOT it is clear how much they like him as #a character and respect him. But I am not so sure they were interested in making a important arc of him and set space for a new and better #direction or just pretty much self indulge and fanservice their way out of it. Which I am going to be honest by the level of writing Wade #received I can respect *at least that* and their OC was compelling instead of *gesture vaguely of hot woman self insert of the week that #looks wearily similar to Syrin. #like– Just use Syrin it's the same arc ITS THE SAME ARC #Wade Wilson

[transgenderfivepebbles]

hating hod is a red flag tbh. never trust a hod hater

#ramblings #something something.. her story being about learning to move forward and forgive yourself #about how even if you make an unimaginably horrible mistake it doesn't condemn you to being a Bad Person Forever #and endlessly beating yourself up or sacrificing yourself in a search for redemption is pointless #and it's better for everyone to try to be kind to yourself #like people genuinely are out here hating her for getting the head onto ayin and co.'s case but #that's the entire point of her story? it's About how much she regrets it and her journey to heal from that guilt? #she did it because she was young and innocent and her friends were dying out there?? #the central theme is literally The Hope to Be a Better Person #i will never understand. hod is my best friend i love her. hod haters not allowed

[mkstrigidae]

Coming back from the dead is the kind of thing that can really fuck up your weekend, as Jon has recently found out (especially considering that he’d paid a mint for those concert tickets, thanks). On one hand, the bureau paperwork is horrifying, and the less said about his skyrocketing health insurance premiums or this year's taxes, the better. On the other hand, though, Sansa Stark, the pretty head of the medical/pathology research division and long-time object of Jon's affections, has insisted on giving him her utmost attention until she’s sure he’s back on his feet and fully among the living.

#my writing #my fics #jonsa fic #jonsa #jon snow x sansa stark #asoiaf fanfic #asoiaf fanfiction #got fanfic #a small goofy slightly gory oneshot of a workplace comedy? #Idk sometimes you just write something purely for yourself because it makes you personally laugh #weirdly this is one of my more romance-centered stories #despite the fact that it spends a lot of time talking about the biological implications of having been dead #like Jon does die but he also gets better right away so nobody is angsting about it #modern AU #Modern AU with magic and the paranormal #Sansa as a pathologist/medical researcher for a vague paranormal/magic government agency #Jon as a unit chief for paranormal artifact acquisition #(i.e. he's indiana jones but with paperwork) #Sansa and Qyburn as rival medical researchers who fucking hate each other #I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing AND editing and this was a good exercise plus it was also just fun to write #i make no promises about the biological accuracy of the symptoms of reanimation but it makes for a funny background thing #Melisandre as the bureau necromancer and resident office gossip

[blackpilljesus]

I find community discourse incredibly annoying. People are often like "Wheres's the community? We need community! People are so individualistic these days". Individualism gets a lot of criticism but nobody ever questions why this happens. While there are some merits to communities, historically communities have mainly benefitted the priviledged. Most communities evolve into divide-and-rule politics where some are seen as more deserving than others (based on things that cannot be controlled). If you're a marginalised person, more often than not you get bs from communities, not love and protection as advertised.

When you're on the short stick side of the divide-and-rule politics in communities, communities are dangerous for you. It will be seen as acceptable to abuse & put you in horrible conditions simply bc of what you are. Those who abuse tend to be in higher positions in communities so when you call them out people wouldn't care or believe you. You'll be punished when you fight back however. When you're marginalised in a community you receive the worst brunts from people and it's seen as okay to be less deserving of support. You wont be supported in community.

People talk about "safety in numbers" but when the community faces trouble, they will have no problem abandoning or sacrificing the marginalised to save themselves at large. Communities have no problem throwing others away or isolating them once it benefits them. Alot of the time people are used & abused in communities so they're fed up with that, fed up of being treated like second class citizens in communities.

Look at the way communties people reminisce about & yearn for actually turned out. "We had community back in the day" yeah the same ones full of predatory uncles that would abuse women & children and get defended, the same communities full of victim blaming & shaming women + girls for being abused, the same communities where some were implicitly told they were more inferior but if they obeyed those higher up in power they can be forgiven. People talk about a lack of a "third place" bc of the rise of secularism so less are going to places of worship but many people leave those communities (even if their faith is still intact) because of corruption & abuse. The judgements & hypocrisy in these places is a lot (one of the reasons I personally left religion & the community too).

Best believe if you can hold your own down, being in a community is more dangerous than being alone bc like i said when things go south your ass will be on the chopping block first. Hell if people just want to abuse, they'll go for the marginalised first & so much abuse is enabled in communities. They'll ostracise & shun you and the threat of that alone keeps many in line to uphold abusive structures in place in communities.

"But humans are natural social creatures that want to be in groups" is something I hear often & that should make you stop and think of how so many people going against this instinct to survive says a lot about how dangerous alot of communities are. It's our nature to socialise, be in groups yet it's chosen to be independent because of the danger groups actually present when you're not seen as a valued member of them.

At this point people would either say "look inwards" or "find better communities out there" but the problem is that status in communities isnt entirely based on the merit of the way you behave. Finding communities where you're accepted & valued IRL tends to be based on things you cant control. It's not like the internet where you put yourself out there & eventually find your community even if they live all over the world. In reality it's another ballgame, people are more closed off & judgemental if you dont fit certain standards so it's more difficult to find places where you'll fit in. Also, as mentioned the determining factors of the way you'll be treated in communities are based on things you cant control, your characteristics will do more speaking and determination for you. So it's not as easy as just "find a better community". Given the way activism is on the internet, many people forget how conservative & hostile the real world actually is. Things like sexism, colorism, racism, ableism, homophobia, lookism etc; play a big role in most communities irl which is why many people seek alt communities online even though those come with issues of their own but to not stray away from the point this is why many people arent fucking with -irl- community shit anymore.

This discource pisses me off because when you constantly receive crap from communities people blame you for it but when you leave you get badgered for not having or being part of community. Communities benefit the priviledged as they uplift those on top, they get to take more from communities & enrich themselves while those at the bottom get fucked over and it's no wonder so many people get fed up and decide to put things into their own hands than risk being in/trusting communities that wont hesitate to risk or end your life over bs. I know that not all communities out there will be horrible but as mentioned finding communities IRL where you'll be accepted as a marginalised person is difficult. Finding equitable communities where everyone is held accountable for their actions, where people genuienly help each other to get by & survive over divide-and-rule politics is difficult.

People complaining about lack of community but wont address the rampant abuse that happens in them tells me they dont care about community spirit as they claim they just want pools of people to exploit and are disguising it under communal spirit & protection. I dont fw communities & sometimes people will tell me i cant do everything alone, no man is an island -good thing i'm a woman then lol- but fr the people this crap comes from are the type of people that make communities suck & i wouldn't want to be in a community with them anyways bc they're horrible & would just exploit. Individualism is on the rise because so many of us marginalised people who grew up in communities realise we're better off alone & idc what anyone says if they feel they're better off within communitities then bet but a lot of the time others are better off alone. And icl one positive of capitalism is that it gives you a chance to rely on communities less & have a more independent lifestyle. Yes there's still a level of people/community engagement but we're not as tightly bound to a community like a small tribe in a village bc tbh i'd probably be dead by now if i had to live & rely on others that way.

Instead of just criticising individualism & guilt tripping people to join communities, if people actually care do inflection about your "communities". Except this wont happen bc this isnt about community spirit but looking for others to exploit which is why it's being aggresively pushed.

#Also communities isolate people anyways #Yes being alone can also make things dangerous; it isnt perfect & if communities see you they'll view u as a easy target but overall #i personally find it better to be independent of 'community'; doesnt mean i isolate myself tho #If you find good communities out there stick with them; Im not saying isolate yourself; you can work with people but keep distant #dont tie yourself into community #Personally I think people fearmonger around being independent so they cant hold the threat of being ostracised from communities over you #anti community #community

[yea-baiyi]

tgcf makes the argument that as a crazy devoted stan you might actually know your idol better than their actual friends do

#controversial post #hualian #tgcf #this is all about my kpop idol au but also i saw someone make a point on twt #how hua cheng spent much less time with xie lian than fengqing or lqq #yet hua cheng undoubtedly knows his true character much better #and i guess the book’s point is that. #as a devotee (or crazy stan) when your admiration is completely one sided you do pay more attention to the other person #rather than just knowing them in relation to yourself. whether as a teacher a friend a mentor #hua cheng uses his parasocial powers for good ultimately

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I've seen enough poly stuff in my lifetime. Y'all can stop now.

#God #Jesus christ #Is it that hard to devote yourself to one person #Poly stuff is so gross to me #That's not a relationship #You just have fuck buddies #How is it any different than fuck buddies #If you admit that you're willing to be with someone else then you're not in a relationship at all lmao #If you can sleep with whoever you want then that's no different than not being in a relationship #Crucify me if you want but those are my thoughts #If it makes anyone feel any better though #This specific post is inspired by fictional characters rather than real people #I still feel the same regardless #But like lmao

[ratballet]

if i can be totally honest The Copiiia Drama makes me insane because it's the most Nothing controversy of all time 😭 if you're looking at fanworks where copia and terzo aren't related (which is like 97% of them!) then what you have after that is a Normal Ass m/m Ship. that's literally just two guys. 😭 it's.... nothing. people ship them because they're the two most famous and popular frontmen and it's fun to imagine them in the fictional setting together. we are working with fragments of canon that mostly exist for the purpose of stage banter and tour announcements. it is JUST NOT THAT DEEP

#like what are we doing it actually hurts my head #if the association with canon still icks you out your personal disgust is valid #and entitles you to block any person or tag that will make your online experience better #but not harass them #also i know some people are secretly reading it anyway. free yourself and just do it