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grimm-troupe-caretaker · 4 years

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The Cicind Tribe

This is a brief post about the Cicind Tribe which Falx/Caretaker/Reaper claim to hail from. The post is lengthy and will contain a read more. An apology now if this seems a bit disjointed in areas, I love world building and sometimes my thoughts don’t like to flow from one topic to the next.

Navigation

General

Location

Religion

Lifestyle

Hierarchy

Miscellaneous

Fun Facts

General

The Cicind Tribe were a highly efficient tribe of beetles that lived far northwest of Hallownest and at a time that predated Hallownest and even Radiance. Though they were the more aggressive of the tribes within the area, there were still territory disputes with a Mantis Tribe (Not related to the tribe depicted within Hallownest) Adult beetles are tall with long strong legs and arms, slender segmented torsos, thick fur like filaments on their chests and shoulders, and tear drop shaped heads with two long segmented horns located a few ‘inches’ from their eyes. While the common coloration was to have a black iridescent body with white and black patterned wing cases, many Cicind’s had a variety of colors along their segmented abdomens. While Cicinds were capable of flight, it was uncommon for them to do so, due to their religious beliefs

Location

The Cicinds’ homeland consisted of a marshland that was surrounded by tall grasses, lush plants, mudflats and waterways that commonly flooded. Much of the tribe was spread out over the stretch of this marshland, however the peak of their civilization was a keep known as Tlis. This keep was built on a smaller island within the mudflats that rarely flooded.

Tlis had buildings made of ‘salt rock’ and many of these buildings were also decorated with a combination of vegetation,to keep their homes cool, but also often adorned the bones of their various foes. The center of Tlis’ keep has the Empress's home built within the bones of a ferocious predator that predated the Tribe.

Religion

Cicinds were one of few known to worship a higher being known as the Nightmare King. When the founding members were searching for their new home, it was said they first laid eyes upon said being waiting for them on the skeleton of a long since deceased predator. At first they feared the higher being but upon the King’s warm invitation, they were in awe at such a figure that they returned the invitation with their own devotion. It was once a celebrated day that upon the anniversary of the day Tils was founded, the tribe holds a grand celebration and feast that honors the Nightmare King’s surprising generosity. This event lasts a few days and even hosted the higher being if he were able to attend. Outside this celebration, the tribe made regular practice of embodying the same fear their ancestors once felt. This is fierce nature was brought upon any the Cicind’s declared as prey or foes, thus giving them their reputation of being aggressive and frightening to other bugs. Naturally this stigma stuck with the tribe so much that their whole life was devoted to becoming fearless hunters in order to appease their King.

Lifestyle

Though fearsome on the outside, many Cicinds were rather peaceful until provoked or the call of a hunt brought out their true nature. As with many long standing civilizations, there were a host of skills each beetle claimed outside of their strength in the hunt. Many were lovers of the arts and such reflected within the architecture and adornments of their homes and buildings. Having a natural love for botany was as common as being able to wield a glaive. Cicnds often practiced the ability of balance. As they were expected to be capable hunters, though civilized to their fellow beetles. As such it’s common that within age groups, large brother and sister families form, even without being blood relatives. These generational groups sometimes can make up a whole city or sector within Tlis and while fiercely competitive with other generations, are still respectful to one another. Relationships outside of the large family like unit are not uncommon nor are prohibited so long as all members of the tribe contribute in passing along their genes at least once within their life time. Tradition of the tribe dictates that eggs are hatched in the mudflats and the grubwryms are raised to be like one family unit, hence the bond they share as they grow.

Hierarchy

Unlike many other societies at the time, Cicind’s loose pecking order on the societal echelon is based on combat skill, not financial welfare. Even still it is possible to slide around within the hierarchy if one is capable enough in battle, at least to some extent.

~ Starting on the lowest are grubwyrms. Of course the infants and children are not expected to best their adult counterparts, however from the moment children hatch, they are trained and allowed to fight and hunt the various mites that populate the mudflats. Squabbles of dominance are not uncommon, but dedicated caretakers see to ensuring these fights are not brutal in addition to caring for every other need grubwyrms have.

~ While these caretakers are considered the lowest on the adult scale, it is only because they are not allowed to partake in the hunt. It is not uncommon for many grubwyrms to grow into adults and serve a small amount of time caring for the next generation before advancing upward.

~ After caretakers are the agricultural, trade, and craft workers. As their goals in life are meant to focus around providing other services to the Tribe, they are not expected to join the hunting parties of the knights. Should their home come into danger or the Tribe livelihood become threatened, they will happily raise arms to join the hunt just as the knights do.

These workers are considered equal to knights despite their regular duties as many shifted from the more armed service into a passive life.

~ The knights can be viewed as the military might of the Tribe. Many young caretakers will immediately transfer into this echelon to satisfy their youthful energy and blood lust. Hunting parties are rotated out to collect food or ward off encroaching enemies while the rest stay behind to train, defend the tribe, or even act as security should it be needed.

~ If a knight proves himself or herself a ferocious hunter, they may be promoted to a Shin or Paladin. While Paladin’s act as personal knights to the higher scales, they commonly do not see a hunt outside of the Tribe unless there is a significant threat. Shin on the other hand are more likely to be away from the Tribe gathering information about enemy movements. They live considerably dangerous lives as they are often alone and far from having any form of support from the Tribe while they stalk enemy territory.

~ Then are Generals of both Paladins and Shin. They are typically older hunters who have less stamina then their younger counterparts. Often these individuals (usually one of each) are the right and left hand of the ruler.

~ Preceding the ruler are retired knights who serve more as scholars and the nobles of the Tribe. Like the Generals, they are equally capable in a fight, but are not as strong as their younger generations. Many oversee their ‘businesses’, scientific findings, and the less grittier and warlike operations of the Tribe. As such they typically are wealthier than the other classes, though it means nothing in the eyes of their fellow Cicinds.

~ Last is the ruler. Commonly an Empress (though male emperors are not unheard of) this beetle is often chosen from knighthood at a young age by the previous ruler and the Nightmare King himself. Females are usually picked over males as females are considered the more dominant of the sexes (only because they are larger and stronger than their male counterparts). Though if a male is chosen, there is no qualm as it is often a combination of hunting skills and intelligence that are ideal for rulers.

~ While the Nightmare King is not considered part of the tribe, he does have a place on the scale. Though his place is more akin to the star that shines over the rest of the pyramid. Never within reach, but always visible to serve and worship.

Miscellaneous

~ Clothing within the Cicind’s depended upon their status within the Tribe and their current task. Ranging from elegant and formal clothes to the lightweight Sho (A lightweight dark blue and black clothing mixed with light weight armor around specific points.) Though clothes did not make their society, it was not uncommon for the higher ranking beetles to poses a varied wardrobe. All meant to serve a variety of tasks, even to fool potential threats of misjudging a skilled hunter.

~ Weapons often come in the form spears, halberds, lances, and glaives. The purpose of these ranged weapons comes down to the Cicind’s claws acting as short range weapons and making it difficult to manipulate items with a shorter hilt.

~ As previously mentioned, flight is not something used commonly as it is believed that going into the sky will obstruct the Nightmare King’s vision by extent of distracting him with something majestic, powerful, and of course shiny (Yes even the Cicind’s knew their King had a bit of a dramatic flair). Additionally as they were in a marsh land, there were many other threats in the air that were keen to snatch a careless beetle with ease.

~ One legend tells of a Cicind who was so daring that he regularly took to the skies to challenge the King. The legend goes that at first the King flew with the beetle and tested his skill in flight. However it was after a time the King grew tired of the display and caught the beetle finally to consume him. (In reality, the dude was constantly managing to out fly a bat....until one day he couldn’t lol)

Fun Facts

It should be notated that ‘Cicind’ is a shorter part of the longer scientific name of Cicindelidae, which is the sub family of ground beetles known as tiger beetles. They are a species found worldwide, though tend to favor more open habitats, sea shores, sand dunes, and oddly...dirt roads. Tiger beetles are known for their aggressive hunting habits and being capable of running at incredible speeds (for a beetle mind you).

The Cicinds are based off the Salt Creek Tiger Beetle which is considered critically endangered due to agricultural ‘drainage’. They are also based off the Blue Tiger Beetle (For that iridescent black sheen) and Southern White Beach Tiger beetle (For the white and black patterns on the wing cases) Pronunciation of Cicind is “Si-sind”

#ooc #devilish headcannons #The Cicind Tribe #whole lotta lore #whole lotta reading #feel free to point out contradictions #and if there's anything you'd like to know further about the lore #just ask Falx

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sleepyfan-blog · 5 years

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Cross and ink and a lot of fluff on a sleepover at dreams and nightmares scence nightmares turned good, and it wouldn't be completed without a jealous Error "Why won't you let him be mine" "It's not that he won't it's just that he doesn't want"

I hope that you enjoy! it’s under a cut bc it got a little long, haha

Oh and the fic I’m referring to is this

Warnings: uhh…. Unrequited love?

Dream beamed happily at Cross and Ink, stepping aside and gesturing for the two of them to come in. “I’m really glad that you two could make it! We’ve got everything set up in one of the cozier spaces in the castle.”

Cross nodded a little, a small smile appearing on his face as he walked in - he knew that after Nightmare had gotten uncorrupted (thank you, Reaper and Reapertale Gaster) and the pair of guardians had returned to the castle they’d been trying to renovate it, in order to make it less dreary and terrifying. The lighter colors and the more generous light fixtures really helped the section of the castle that Dream took the two of them down “It’s looking really good so far - I wouldn’t mind helping, if you don’t mind?” the monochromatic skeleton offered with a small smile.

Dream shrugged for a moment, a small smile appearing on his face “I’ll ask Nightlight - but I think it’s going to be one of the projects he’s going to be stubborn about… Besides, it’s not as if we’re pressed for time in order to fix up the castle, anyways.”

Ink nodded, a grin appearing on his face “I understand! Since Nightmare’s come back to his senses, the only person we really have to worry about is Error… And as the truce between myself and him has been holding steady for the past ten years, I’m pretty sure that he won’t suddenly start destroying things… Although I really do miss helping Creators make new AUs…” The creative guardian sighed, his shoulders slumping a little, his eye lights changing shape and colors rapidly.

Cross gently patted his boyfriend on one shoulder before hugging the other “I know that you do… But you’re been helping to restore dead and dying timelines, which is a great help, love…”

Ink perked up at that and his smile was back “You’re right! It’s.. It’s really nice to be able to breathe life into a destroyed timeline. And speaking of that…” He sent a significant look in Dream’s direction.

“I… Nightmare would like to focus on the two of us rebuilding this AU piece by piece as much as we can before asking for help.” Dream responded, knowing that look on Ink’s face and determined to head off a potential argument.

“Who all is here?” Cross asked curiously, changing the subject before Ink could dig in his heels about helping the emotive guardians repair their badly damaged Universe.

“So far apart from me and Night, you two and Error, funnily enough. He appeared on one of the couches three days ago, muttering something about the anti-void being too quiet and the voices bothering him a lot.” Dream murmured, his voice low and quiet “I’m not sure what that meant, but he felt very lonely as he said it. So he’s going to be at the sleepover. Stretch and Blue are helping Queen Toriel negotiate with the humans as they’ve hit a post-pacifist ending again and the human promised no more resets unless something genuinely awful happened.”

Dream paused for a moment before continuing “Sci and Red managed to catch the flu, so Edge is watching over them and scolding them for wandering out into the forests outside of Snowdin for too long. Hearts, Star and Classic have been dealing with things in their own timelines that have been causing a lot of problems and can’t make it… Color still doesn’t trust Nightmare so he’s dragged Killer, Dust and Hatchet off somewhere and they’ve been out of communications with the both of us for a week.”

“So it’s just going to be the five of us?” Ink prodded, one of his eye lights a yellow star, the other an orange square.

“Yep, unless one or more of the others suddenly calls for a pick up. But enough about all of that, how have you two been?” Dream asked brightly as the three of them entered Nightmare’s Library - the center area having been transformed into an epic blanket and pillow fort. The scent of hot cocoa, pizza, popcorn and cupcakes mingled pleasantly together.

Error was sulking up on top of a bookshelf, an exasperated but amused Nightmare standing beneath him as he said “-ot going to be comfortable up there, you know?”

“I don’t care! You should have warned me that you were going to be throwing some stupid partyyy…. Hi Ink, Boring Glitch.” Error huffed back, his eye lights focusing on the new arrivals - mostly on Ink. The other’s emotional aura shifting to-

Oh dear. Dream sent a brief glance at Nightmare, who nodded minutely and scratched one of his cheeks in a subtle gesture. They’d talk once the others fell asleep. That explained a few things - still, that wasn’t any reason to let such things fester! Dream clapped his hands together and asked, gently pushing his aura onto Error, Cross and Ink, lifting their moods “So, who’s up for a game?”

“Me!” Ink called out cheerfully.

“Sure…” Cross responded, curiosity filling his emotional aura.

“Do I have to?” Error grumbled, though the destructive skeleton had already teleported down near Nightmare. “So what game are we planning?”

“Spin the bottle: Truth or Dare Edition!” Dream answered with a bright grin, ignoring the exasperated frown and face palm this got from Nightmare.

“I… Am unsure what you mean by that?” Ink prompted “What are the rules?”

“It’s where we each take turns spinning a bottle. Whoever it lands on, you, the spinner ask whether they want to do a dare, tell a truth… Or if they don’t want to do the dare or tell the truth, you get to kiss them! Either on the cheek, forehead, teeth or hand.” Dream explained with a cheerful grin on his face.

Error was blushing bright yellow and his eye sockets started to fill with errors. Dream sighed as he sent a small pulse of his magic the other’s way, stabilizing his emotions and pulling the other from his imminent crash. Cross was a very fascinating shade of purple and was hiding as much of his face as he could in his scarf.

Ink’s eye lights were a yellow star and a green heart “That sounds like so much fun! I’m willing to play! What about you three? Or are you going to be cowardly?”

This prompted Error and Cross to answer at the same time “I’ll play!” determined expressions appearing on his face.

Nightmare sighed, face palming again and responded “I’ll play too. Let me get a bottle. You all should sit down and get comfortable. Do you want anything to eat or drink?”

Everyone shook their heads as Dream lead them to one of the blanket forts, and they crawled into the warm and cozy space, the colorful blankets and magical fairy lights providing diffused and ample light.

“Oh, and one more thing, we need to sit in a circle.” Dream instructed as the others sat around in a circle, making a space for Nightmare as the guardian of Negativity crawled in, an empty bottle in his hand. Nightmare set the bottle down in the space between all of them as Dream spoke up again “I’ll start, since I suggested the game.”

The others nodded (except for Nightmare, who was squinting at him a little) as Dream reached for the bottle and spun it with a quick turn of his wrist. It spun and spun, eventually stopping in front of Cross. Dream grinned a little “Truth, Dare or Kiss?”

“Uhh… What truth do you want to know about me?” Cross responded, having seen Dream’s mischievous side and not wanting to be stuck doing some silly dare right off the bat.

“Hmm…” Dream murmured, his eye lights turning into stars as a grin appeared on his face. He was about to respond when Nightmare cut in.

“Give the poor kid a chance to enjoy the game, would you? Stars above I know how merciless you can get at this game.” his other half cautioned him, turning ever so slightly purple.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nightmare. Cross, what was your reaction when you first realized that you were in love with Ink?” Dream asked, pouting a bit at Nightmare. There was no need to scare the others. He was just curious…

The blush on Cross’s face returned in full force “… I cursed myself for being so stupid, because it was back before Nightmare got his head screwed on straight and I was still working for him.” He spun the bottle and it landed on Error, who froze. “… Kiss, Truth or Dare?”

“… Truth.” Error responded after a pause, narrowing his eye lights at the other.

“… Why did you agree to the truce with Ink?”” Cross blurted out, before a look of panic scrawled across his face “I… I mean…”

“No, I’ll answer it. I was tired of fighting Ink all the time.” Error answered honestly, staring at the floor “… I had hoped that maybe I could have taken him up on the offer of becoming friends that he gave me long ago.” He spun the bottle and it landed on Nightmare “Your choice now.”

“Dare.” Nightmare responded without hesitation, curious as to what the other would have him do.

“I dare you to steal something from Fresh and bring it back here in less than five minutes.” Error answered quickly.

Nightmare raised a browbone, opened a portal, stretching a hand through it and pulling it back, a distant “Hey! Not cool, broski!” echoed through the portal as the negative spirit revealed that he’d grabbed Fresh’s hat “Done. My turn.” The bottle spun and landed on Dream, who grinned.

The positive spirit answered before Nightmare could even ask “Kiss!” and eagerly teleported into his other half’s lap, eagerly pressing a kiss to the other’s teeth. He nuzzled Nightmare’s neck a little after, leaning into his warmth and spinning the bottle, having it land on Ink “Soo…?”

Ink’s eye lights turned into blue and green question marks “Hmm… Dare me, Dream!”

“I dare you to steal some of G Sans’s cookies!” The positive guardian responded with a bright grin. “And come back within five minutes.”

The creative guardian huffed, rolling his eye lights “Fiiine. But if I get into a fight with that particular sleeping dragon, you’re helping.” Ink portalled off, returning three very quiet minutes later with a tin of butterscotch-cinnamon cookies. “Ta-da… My turn.” He spun the bottle and it landed on Error. “What’ll it be, Glitchy?”

Error paused for a little bit before eventually asking “Who do you want me to steal from? And by that I mean, what dare do you have for me?”

“Aww, Glitchy, everyone doing similar dares would be boring! No, I’ve got something else for you as a dare.” Ink pulls out a box out of his inventory “I want you to wear what’s in that box for ten minutes.”

Error squinted at him before growling “Fine, but if it’s really stupid, I reserve the right to ask for a truth instead.”

“Pff-hahaha, fine~!” Ink responded with a wave as the destructive skeleton teleported elsewhere to change.

Error came back a couple of moments later, squinting at Ink in suspicion as he came back wearing a black jacket that reached his knees and slowly turned to a navy blue at the hood. Beneath it was a long-sleeved red shirt and a bright blue scarf. He was also wearing what appeared to be a bunch of his navy blue strings as a sort of a cape “… This is comfortable and not weird. Why am I wearing this?” He was also wearing a pair of red-rimmed, circular glasses.

Dream and Nightmare both stilled as they stared at Error, their eye lights vanishing for a moment. They were suddenly holding hands and Dream was shaking ever so slightly.

“Ah-ah! You can only get the truth of that out of me if you manage to land the bottle on me.” Ink called out cheerfully, having not spotted either emotive guardians’ reaction to the alternate outfit.

Error grumbled and spun the bottle, and it landed on Cross “Your turn. Truth, Dare or Kiss?”

Cross squinted for a bit, wanting to get this over quickly - he’d seen Dream and Nightmare’s reaction to the outfit and wanted answers, damn it. “Kiss.” He grabbed one of Error’s hands and pressed a quick peck to the other’s knuckles, returned to his seat and spun the bottle, hoping that he’d spun it so that it would land on Nightmare and Dream. Sure enough, it did “Right, Truth or Dare, you two? And I’m guessing you both have to answer, since you’re in Nightmare’s lap, Dream?… Or Kiss, I suppose.”

“…” Nightmare and Dream glanced at one another briefly before staring at Cross and saying simultaneously “Kiss.” The both of them each pressed a light kiss to one of Cross’s cheeks, moving at the same time. Dream settled back into Nightmare’s lap after they did so, still visibly unsettled.

Nightmare flicked the bottle with one of his fingers, and the bottle spun to a stop on Ink “Kiss, Dare or Truth?”

“Hmm… Kiss, actually! A double smooch from the both of you looked like fun.” Ink answwered after a moment, grinning at how purple his boyfriend had gone. That had been very endearing to see.

Dream and Nightmare complied and Ink spun the bottle, it landing on Error. The Destructive skeleton answered before Ink could ask, his voice very quiet “… Kiss, squid…”

This took Ink and Cross by surprise, but not Nightmare nor Dream. Still, with a playful grin, the creative guardian made his way over to Error, pausing for a moment as he studied Error, leaning in close and pressing a light kiss to one of the other’s cheeks, purring lightly “Your turn, Glitchy~!”

Error seemed a little dazed as he fumbled for the bottle, and nearly hit it hard enough to break the glass container. It eventually came to a stop in front of a grumpy Cross “Truth, Dare, or Kiss?”

“Dare me, you grump.” Cross answered after a moment’s consideration.

“I dare you to do a cartwheel.” Error responded after a moment.

The highly athletic skeleton snorted, getting up and doing just that in front of the entrance to the blanket fort so that he didn’t knock it down. He spun the bottle and it landed on Ink “Truth, Kiss or Dare, love?”

“Hmmm… Truth, this time.” Ink decided with a warm smile.

“Why did you dress Error up in that outfit?” Cross asked curiously, watching Dream and Nightmare out of the corner of one of his eye sockets. Their reaction had been weird.

“Well… Because I’ve seen a different Error wear it and was curious to see what he’d look like in it.” Ink responded with a shrug. “And yes, this means that I’ve been to a different multiverse. Things were… Very different there. Although I suspect I’m not the only one who’s been there… Eh, Nightmare, Dream?”

Neither of the emotive guardians responded, and Nightmare’s grip on Dream tightened a little bit. The positive guardian murmured after a moment “I… I think I’m done playing this game for now… Do you guys want to watch a movie?”

Cross and Error agreed - and the latter immediately shot off to go change, the ten minutes up anyways. Ink was pouting a little, having wanted to play for a little longer, but had been outvoted by a lot. Cross got up and put in one of the movies that had been set out - it was a high-seas pirate movie with a bit of magic and a great cast of characters and a rousing score.

Cross frowned a little as he realized that Error hadn’t come back, half-way into the movie. He yawned and stretched a little, slowly scooting out as Ink, Dream and Nightmare were thoroughly entranced by the story, wandering off to go find the destructive being. He found the other leaning against the door of the library, scowling and folded in on himself.

“… Error are you alright?” He asked. He didn’t particularly care for the other, but figured it would be good to check in with the other.

“Why won’t you let him be mine?” Error hissed, glaring up at Cross, a jealous expression appearing on his face. “We… We’ve been through so much together…”

“It’s not that he won't… It’s just that he doesn’t want you.” Cross responded, feeling awkward and realizing that he was being perhaps a little too blunt. “Look, Ink does what he wants, right? He always has… If he wanted to date you… He would.”

Error hissed and buried his face in his hands “I… I suppose you’re right. But you’re so… New to all of this. Why are you so special enough to catch his attention when his attention for more than five fucking minutes is one of the few things I’ve ever wanted?”

“I… I don’t know.” Cross answered honestly, shrugging helplessly. He had no answer for that, and was just grateful he wasn’t trapped in the endless, white void his timeline had become. “I’m just… I’m grateful that I have his love and attention… Come join us? We’re watching a pirate movie, and it’s a lot of fun.”

#my writing #crink #dreammare #dream #nightmare #uncorrupted nightmare #Ink #cross #Error #unrequired love tw #one-sided errink

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onision-is-bad · 5 years

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Reaper’s Creek - Chapter 1

I currently only have access to the first five chapters of Reaper's Creek, so we'll see if I manage to find the whole book. My formatting for these reviews will be a quick overview, a cut, a few notable quotes, and then some writing advice.

Overview:

He has a huge issue with punctuation.

His writing is so self-absorbed that he doesn’t explain anything clearly.

He is so anti-religion and yet gives no real reasons.

He really seems to hate his sister. He calls her fat and annoying more than once.

His idea of aging people is odd. He states that most people in their 40s and above look like they are about to get diabetes. The irony is strong here, my friends.

He cannot write dialogue properly to save his life.

He likes to pretend to be an emo child.

The chapter is only like 6 pages long.

On to the quotes!

"Everyone seems so worried about what their ex would do with their money as if they are a completely different person than who they originally fell in love with." Greg doesn’t seem to understand that people change over time. The person you originally fell in love with IS NOT the person you break up with. PEOPLE CHANGE. Get over it.

"Everyone smiles, everyone is doing something… going somewhere.[…]I see past them showing off their pearly ivory teeth every time they see me." So he was discussing Christians here. This was his criticism of them. Is having white teeth so bad? He is so angry at Christians and gives no textual reason why. Daniel, as a character, is unreasonably detached and angry.

"Walking outside, my step dad is working on making another bed with his bare hands. […] Where would I be going to bed without the contraption he made for me? In the bathroom? Or maybe we'd just hang a blanket from the ceiling in our little wooden front room." Aside from the grammatical mistakes, it’s important to note that the bed Daniel supposedly sleeps from is suspended from the ceiling by chains. Is he a weird anthropomorphic bat?

"Stepping across the wood floor my mom painted white as a result of our pets peeing on our former carpet till it was unbearable to have around […]" This is only part of a sentence, but there are two issues with just this. Firstly, pets peeing on the floor until it is unbearable to look at is disgusting. How unsanitary is his house? Secondly, this sentence makes no sense. His mom painted the WOOD floor because the CARPET was removed? Why did she paint the wood floor? Wouldn’t it be new if you replaced the carpet? I have no idea where he was going with this detail.

"Time for my favorite part, pouring hydrogen peroxide on my wound and watching the science project explode in front of me." This is disgusting. Also, nice job trying to sound smart by saying “hydrogen peroxide” instead of “rubbing alcohol.”

Writing Advice:

Onision has issues with the following:

Dialogue

Punctuation

Capitalization (Just capitalize proper nouns, y’all.)

Compound Words (”Jellyfish” and “stepdad” are not two words, Greg.)

Descriptions

Word Repetition

Sentence Structure

Paragraph Formatting and Breaks

So how should these kinds of issues be fixed?

Punctuation

Punctuation can be kind of complicated. The two major issues Onision has are commas and ellipses, so we’ll just focus on those. (If you want tips on other kinds of punctuation, message me! I’m glad to help!) Right. So, commas. Commas have lots of uses, but we’ll just focus on two that are very common. The first is commas after introductory clauses. Here’s a sample sentence:

After the rain, the moss was moist.

The sentence could also be, “The moss was moist after the rain.” This is because the clause at the beginning was a prepositional phrase and can be placed at the end of the sentence is a grammatically correct fashion. At the beginning of a sentence, however, this clause needs a comma after it.

The second use of commas is when you have a compound sentence, which basically means two sentences in one. Here’s another sample sentence:

The rain was over, and the moss was moist.

It could be two sentences, but they’re connected with a comma and the word “and.” The general rule for commas is that they go where you pause to take a breath or where the sentence is compounded. Otherwise, they really should be avoided unless you know what you’re doing. Again, commas are really complicated, so I know I’m not doing them justice here.

He also has issues with ellipses, the “...” punctuation. The issue is that he uses them so often. They really shouldn’t be used all in formal writing, but fiction really blurs the lines between formal and informal writing. Ellipses are sort of annoying when reading, and when used a lot, they lose their power as a sign of thought or suspense.

Dialogue and Paragraphs

I’m combining these two into one handy writing tip called TiPToP. TiPToP is where you have to break the paragraph.

Time change - a new time or a time jump

Place change - a new setting

Topic shift - a new line of discussion

Person shift - a new perspective or a new person talking

Sentence Structure and Word Repetition

Onision has SO MANY issues with sentence structure and word repetition. To fix these kinds of issues, I recommend both revising and letting someone read your work and give feedback. It’s really hard to separate yourself from your writing, but it’s necessary to do in order to find the best possible way of conveying your points. Sometimes, as the author, it is difficult to see where readers can be tripped up in your writing. Try to make sure you are as clear as possible. Pretend you’re reading something written by someone else. Try to picture what the sentence is conveying. If it isn’t clear, rewrite it!

(This is a very nuanced topic, so the above paragraph is VERY vague. If you want more information about the topic, just let me know.)

Descriptions

As an author, you know exactly what you want readers to see when they read your work, and it is, therefore, your responsibility to adequately describe your vision. Adjectives are your friends. Adverbs are your friends. Helping verbs usually are not your friends. Saying something like “He had jumped over the log,” doesn’t need the word “had.” “Have” and “had” are helping verbs, so always check if your sentence needs them in order to make sense. Extra words clog up your descriptions For more in-depth descriptions, try to answer these questions:

Who?

What?

Where?

When?

Why?

How?

During dialogue, try to add what the character is actively doing. Are they standing still? Running? Maybe they’re watching something? Here is a super quick sample of what that kind of dialogue looks like:

“Charon, if I lose my arm, I only have myself to blame,” Makoa said.

Charon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why are you doing this?” he asked.

Makoa grinned, “I just wanna see what happens.”

He fired the weapon. It made a strange, squishing sound, and then a massive glob of goo went flying at high speed towards the wall.

“Holy shit!” Charon exclaimed.

Makoa laughed. “I can’t believe my arm is still attached!”

Anyways, that’s it for this review! If you enjoyed it, I’d appreciate a like and maybe a reblog! I spent way too much time on this, but it was a fun break!

I’d love feedback, so feel free to interact with these reviews!

#onision #anti #anti onision #book #reapers creek #chapter 1 #writing help

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skeletorific · 6 years

Text

I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Skeleton

The name changes. To some its known as Reaper’s Grind. To others, Bones and Brew. To still others, MarshMarrow. It depends who’s in charge that month. Regardless of the name, it is always painted in black script on a driftwood sign, carved so that it appears to be cradled by giant skeleton hands.

Most see this sign and assume its some kind of Halloween or Goth themed establishment. However, the caffeine addicted of the city know there’s no better place to get your fix. As long as your willing to put up with the quirks of the owners.

The cafe is a cozy space, varying levels of clean depending on who’s on staff. The walls are beige, with abstract murals of black paint covering the walls. Frequent patrons will notice that the murals seem to expand as time goes on. Every now and then they’ll come in to the walls completely blank, having apparently been painted over, only to start again. Rumor has it that if you squint you can make out swear words, or even bad jokes in the design. Squinting is not encouraged. There is also a shelf of books for customers to peruse or even purchase. Mostly trashy romance novels for reasons no one has ever been able to figure out, as well as joke books, science textbooks, car magazines, and, most bewilderingly, puzzle theory.

The cafe has 8 owners, usually with only two or three on staff at a time. They all look so similar that most believe they’re related. Some will even call each other “brother” or “bro”, which seems to confirm it, but everyone worries it’d be racist to ask.

Papyrus is usually on staff in the mornings, which is a good thing. He’s a bright and perky presence to start your day with, and he does his best to create a welcoming environment for those on their way to an early morning commute. He specializes in perk ups, something to get help you shake off those last remnants of sleep while preventing those midmorning crashes. He’ll usually try to coax customers into the healthier versions. “REALLY, ALMOND MILK IS MUCH BETTER FOR YOU!” He also is very good at remembering small details about his regulars. Some of them come to depend on him as a daily reminder to take their meds. Now if only he was better at remembering names...he tends to come up with nicknames for people he sees a lot and they stick with him more than their actual names. An absolute sweetheart who keeps the store spotless, but if he tries to get you to sample his latest pastry invention, politely decline.

Sans is a less energetic presence to be sure (he can usually be found asleep and propped up in some corner if no one on shift bothers to wake him up), but he’s also a well-liked staple of the cafe. He has an easy, laid-back small talk that can set even the most agoraphobic introvert at ease, and writes bad jokes on coffee cups. His coffee is mostly pretty basic stuff, but if you know him well and ask him for the secret stuff....well, you’d be be prepared to deal with the fallout. That particular menu option is the last resort of grad students trying to get through their thesis. The effects are somewhere between Red Eye and Speed. One girl reported a full week of being unable to close her eyes, by the end of which she could taste color and was carrying on active conversations in a language that she did not know. It is varying levels of legal depending on who you ask. Just dont narc. And don’t ask in front of his brother.

Its easy to tell when Red is on the clock, his motorcycle is easily the most ostentatious thing in the parking lot. So much so that he insists on a two parking spot bubble around it to avoid scratches. He also refuses to take off his leather jacket, wearing it over his uniform. No apron. Not a fuckin chance. His customer service is at best ehhh (unless he considers you attractive, in which case, prepare your flirtatious barista fantasies), but the boy makes a pumpkin spice latte so good it should be illegal. Spiced drinks as a whole are his specialty. When fall and winter roll around he brings customers in like flies to honey to get a taste of it, and it make the cafe smell amazing. Don’t tell anyone but he has a habit of “forgetting” to make people pay for their coffee when they look like they’re having a rough time. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he’s kind of a softie. Abysmal cleaning, and he’s usually making drinks for himself on the clock, but once you get to know the guy, he’s a pretty good dude. Also his music taste is fire and the cafe playlist gets infinitely better whenever he’s on staff.

Edge is a different story. While all of them technically own the store in equal parts and no one is legally in charge, it was pretty quickly discovered that mixing Edge with customer service was a recipe for disaster. So he takes on a more managerial role, dealing with finance, shipment, rent, and advertising deals. Everything needed to keep the place afloat. When he’s on shift (and he usually is), he can generally be found in the office unless the place is absolutely slammed. Though he’s not much for dealing with customers, he’s excellent at making gourmet drinks. His skills were made for Instagram. He also has just a biiiit of a soft spot for the kids that sometimes come in, and may have quietly slipped in some more child friendly options to the bookshelf, as well as a couple action figures that Red swears look familiar.

If you want a high octane burst without risking your life, Blue is your guy. I mean, the dude’s practically a walking five hour energy. He is more than generous with his definition of what a shot is, and blends in truly irresponsible amounts of sugar and sweetner for an extra kick. Kids naturally love the insanely sweet taste but it is not recommended that parents let them finish a full sized one. If Edge is on the clock he will straight up slap it out of his hands before people start bouncing off the walls. Blue is also incredibly sweet and friendly with the customers, and has amassed a decent sized collection of regulars who only became regulars due to a crush on him. He flirts shamelessly but never lets it go too far.

Stretch likes doing novelty drinks. Did someone say Unicorn Frappucinnos? The weirder and more poorly conceived the better. He also does most of the baking for the cafe. Muffet taught him a lot about pastries back underground, although it took a while to make the transition from spider carcasses to just...you know, normal flour. He switches the menu up a lot when he gets bored of making the same thing, although for some reason corndogs are always an option. The kitchen really is the best place for him. Leaving him unattended on the front tends to lead to miscief, especially if his brother is there to egg him on. He’ll loosely detach his hand only to enjoy the horrified looks when it pops off as he hands a drink to the customer. They get more negative Yelp reviews that way, but a lot of customers enjoy his sense of humor. He has absolutely tried to pull the Salt and Pepper diner bit by editing the playlist for the cafe

Black is a bit of an odd duck in the cafe. He doesn’t have the patience to sit still long enough for managerial responsibilities. He’s terrible with customer service. His drinks arent bad, but the coffee is as black as his soul regardless of what they actually ordered. Even when forced to make something a little less straightforward he makes it incredibly bitter, because to him, coffee should never be sweet! If you don’t want bitter, don’t get coffee!! some wonder why the others even bother to let him on staff. But Black’s role is vital. Its inevitable that asshole customers pop up in a coffee shop. Entitled, being a dick to either the other baristas or even other customers. And this is where Black shines. Come hell or highwater he can get any customer out in less than a minute with little to no scene, both reducing the time they’re in the store and the risk that watching the altercation might cause an anxiety spike in one of their customers. He just up and carts them out of the store, then returns a few moments later, quietly checking in on everyone involved to make sure no one was hurt or too shaken up. When asked what happens to these guys the only thing Black will ever say is “NOTHING YOU CAN PROVE”. He also keeps the place spotless. May or may not help Blue and Stretch with the pranks, though he’ll deny it to the bitter end.

While Blue may lowkey flirt with a few and Red may highkey flirt with a lot, Rus is flirting with everyone. No, seriously. Everyone. Not being creepy, but chances are you’re leaving with red cheeks that have nothing to with the hot drink in your hand. He’s fairly popular for precisely this reason, though very few have ever gotten a serious date out of it. The man makes a mean cappucinno, great herbal teas and has those smoky bedroom eyes. There’s buzz that he’s also the one responsible for the ever evolving mural, though he never confirms it. Rus takes far too many smoke breaks and doesn’t clean worth a damn but is responsible for nearly half of their consistent customer base. He has a sixth sense for creeps. If he sees a date going on where one of them is looking exceedingly uncomfortable, he can effortlessly swoop in and charm the pants off them until the other asshole leaves in frustration. If he sees someone looking nervous he has ways of subtly getting out of them what the problem is. And if he ever gets the vibe that someone is being harassed he may or may not sic Black onto them without batting an eye. Much as he seems not to give a damn about anything regarding work, Rus takes it as a minor point of pride that their cafe is a safe space for people to get away from it all, if only for a couple minutes.

Bonus:

Axe is their maintenance man who comes in whenever equipment breaks, while Crooks is the night janitor who will often come in with his brother on daytime calls. Both of them are a bit too...unstable for regualar shift jobs. Maintenance positions allows them to be on their own if they need to be and generally avoid stressful triggers. Still, Crooks loves the cafe. On his good days he helps Stretch with the baking, and when the day is really slow Blue and Papyrus will teach him how to mix drinks. Axe is a little more grumbly about it but even he admits its kind of a calm space to be in. The man drinks exculsively black coffee though so he kind of misses out on most of the menu. When he’s in a good mood he competes with Red over flirting with customers.

Special thanks to @jezziconvair who gave me the idea for a lot of the drink specialities and who Tumblr isn’t letting me tag for some reason!

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liketolaugh-writes · 5 years

Text

Death Denied

Author: liketolaugh Summary: It was a miracle that Markus survived the junkyard. An act of divine intervention. (Ronald Knox isn’t exactly new to this whole reaper thing, but he’s never encountered a soul worth sparing before.)

Ronald Knox heard about the phenomenon from Grelle.

“ST200 187-021-693,” Grelle crooned, leaning against a wall with a shit-eating sly grin on her face. Ronald tipped his eyebrows up, giving her a tired, unimpressed look, which only made her grin widen. “Oh, don’t tell me you haven’t heard, darling.”

“About androids?” Ronald asked dryly, crossing his arms. “You’re a bit late on that one, Miss Grelle. They’ve been around for almost a decade and a half.”

“Ah, but that’s the thing,” Grelle said, pure relish coloring her voice. Her fingers played with the sleeve of her long red coat. “They’ve been around, sure, but last night I reaped one.”

“You reaped one,” Ronald repeated, disbelief swamping him. Nothing but a human had been reaped in- ever. It just wasn’t how the world worked. “You can’t do that. They’re not alive, and even if they were-”

“You’d think they’d be no more sophisticated than animals, right?” Grelle interrupted. Her eyes danced with poorly hidden delight. She was very sure of herself, Ronald noted warily. “Then riddle me this, dear – why did it have a Cinematic Record?” When Ronald just kept blinking at her, she grinned again. “I’m not the only one, either. I brought the matter to Undertaker, and you know how I loathe him- he’s known this was coming for over a decade, apparently. Goodness knows how, but he told me at least a few others have been reaped too. The higher-ups are keeping it hush-hush, is all.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Ronald grinned too.

“Finally,” he said, an echo of Grelle’s delight in his voice. “Something new.”

“Oh, you have no idea, darling,” Grelle replied, almost a thousand years of pent-up boredom glittering in her words.

Within a couple of very short years, word had spread beyond the control of the higher-ups as more and more androids appeared on the lists of reapers across the world. It was slow to start, but the issue just built and built until it was beyond containment, and soon every reaper had judged an android at least once.

It was something new. For the first time in hundreds of thousands of years, it was something new – new patterns to learn, experiences to weigh, new behaviors and turning points and motives and memories.

Ronald, as a newbie, just a couple centuries old, got stuck with the tedious, low-mobility jobs. He got the junkyard shifts – hours spent waiting among piles of severed android parts, killing time until his quarries finished dying their slow and inevitable deaths. Still, the novel beat and pulse of the Cinematic Records of a new species kept him entertained enough.

It was on one of these shifts that he made another first. A first for him, at least, and a rare experience for reapers in general, despite being the purpose of their existence.

A lone android was tossed into the junkyard, damaged all over and missing both legs, tumbling limply to the bottom of the pile; he looked close to death already, so Ronald checked his list and nodded to himself.

RK200 684-842-971 “Markus Manfred,” activated April 3rd, 2027, died November 6th, 2038, 3:31 AM due to failure of the thirium pump regulator.

A new model, Ronald noted with delight, which potentially meant a new early life to examine. PL600s were all the same at first, and it got old, insofar as androids could this early in their existence. He slid off the pile of android parts and strode over to the dying android, and then lifted his wrist to use his watch to count down the seconds, which was easier than trying to figure out if the android was actually dead yet.

3… 2… 1…

He dropped his wrist, kicked up his death scythe, and pushed it forward into the RK200, letting the Cinematic Record spill into the air in front of him just as his LED flickered out.

The Record was in grayscale; they always were in androids, at least before the red wall. Very little commentary, too, maybe one or two remarks in the whole first section. It’d make for a boring watch, if the HUD didn’t tend to be at least moderately interesting. Revealed a lot of the thoughts that the androids couldn’t voice, if you knew how to follow them.

That in mind, Markus’ Record caught Ronald’s attention right off the bat.

Markus’ eyes flickered open, and he focused on the two men in front of him. One, upright and eager, which the HUD identified as Elijah Kamski, and the other, slumped in a wheelchair, looking weary and dull, apparently Carl Manfred. Absentmindedly, Ronald noted the matching surnames – rare but not unheard of. Unlike the fact that this clearly wasn’t a Cyberlife store. Huh.

“This just seems like a waste of everyone’s time, Elijah,” the older man grumbled, tilting his head to glower at Kamski.

“Give it a chance,” Kamski coaxed, reaching out to pat Markus’ shoulder. “You need someone around, Carl.”

“Yeah, and that’s not a someone,” Carl sniped back halfheartedly.

My name is Markus. The voice was flat but clear, and it made Ronald start in surprise, this early in the record. I am an RK200 given to Carl Manfred by Elijah Kamski. My purpose is to provide care and companionship.

The content wasn’t exactly poetry, but Ronald was surprised he’d spoken at all yet, and it made him sit up and listen a little closer. This one could be different.

He was to be disappointed, though; Markus didn’t speak again for a while.

“Trust me, Carl,” Elijah insisted, and then turned to Markus and smiled. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

“I am Markus,” the android said obediently, eyes shifting to Carl. He tilted his head slightly. “I lack experience at the moment, but I can learn quickly, Mr. Manfred. I assure you I won’t trouble you in any way.”

Carl grimaced, but, after a moment, slumped. “I guess it can’t hurt,” he said doubtfully. “And call me Carl. No one calls me Mr. Manfred unless they’re sucking up.”

“Alright, Carl. I understand.”

“Yeah, I bet you do,” Carl muttered. “Alright, Elijah, tell me what all this thing can do.”

The scene shifted and flickered through a dozen brief scenes – Markus making Carl breakfast, going with him to cocktail parties, giving him medicine, just short ten- and twenty-second clips. Ronald let them pass by, disinterested and slumping in disappointment. Daily routine – one constant in every android’s record. Humans’ too, if he was honest.

“You used to paint, correct?” Markus prompted, looking at Carl as the man played with an empty shot glass. The man glanced up at Markus, face drawn and tired, and shrugged.

“I used to,” he dismissed, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “I used to do a lot of things.”

“I understand humans like to express themselves artistically when they have more feelings than they can express through words,” Markus said, as if reading from a textbook. Carl’s brow furrowed.

“Where are you going with this?” he asked suspiciously.

“I believe you should paint again, Carl. I think you’d enjoy it.”

“Do you,” Carl said, and his voice was maybe not as flat as he’d meant it to be.

It was weird to have clearly important memories to pass by without comment, but Ronald was getting used to it. It required a little more thought from him, at least – it meant he had to work out why they mattered instead. Good for the brain.

Slowly, Carl’s condition improved. He cheered up, moved around more, talked more – Ronald might not have noticed the difference, but Markus’ HUD was pretty helpful for Ronald too, playing out the statistics for him to see.

“Pick a book, Markus.”

Carl’s expression looked more patient now, expectant eyes on Markus. Markus shifted, HUD flickering with possibilities of what Carl meant by that.

“Do you want me to read to you?” he ventured after a moment, unsure. Carl chuckled.

“No, no- pick a book for yourself. One you think you’d like to read, mind, not one you think I’d want you to read.” A pause, and then Carl gave Markus a small, teasing grin. “Just give it a try.”

“I- I don’t…”

He asks me to do such strange things.

“…Alright, Carl.”

Ronald made a mental note of the scene and the comment. There’d been a couple incidences of kids who didn’t understand that androids weren’t meant to like things, a couple of humans wanting their android lovers to pretend to like things – this looked like something else, though. Almost like cultivating the ability to want. Not a bad idea, for a human.

More memories passed, slower now that the baseline had been established – Markus entertaining Carl at a party, Markus being accosted on the street by seething humans, Carl teaching Markus to play the piano and giving him a patient, sad look when it came out textbook-perfect and unadorned.

Ronald was sure now, Carl was trying to train Markus to be human. That was new. He grinned, pressing his palm into his cheek as he watched to record fly by, Markus’ personality emerging, slow and subtle, over time.

Leo Manfred, the HUD identified, and then noted the way Carl’s stress levels rose noticeably at the sight of him.

“Hey, Dad,” the man greeted, rocking lightly in place. “I, uh-”

“Money troubles again, Leo?” Carl asked, trying to sound light and missing by a little too much.

“I- yeah. Yeah.” The false smile widened, just a little desperate. “C’mon, Dad, you know what it’s like out there. Economy’s a mess.”

“I suppose it is,” Carl murmured, sighing. “And not just the economy.”

Leo – Estranged, the HUD concluded.

Only thing unusual about that memory was the black-and-white coloring, Ronald noted dryly. Well. And the HUD noting Leo’s chapped lips and the slouch of his walk and every single one of Carl’s changing vitals.

Markus, out in the street, spotted something from the corner of his eye and turned sharply into an alley, where an android lay slumped across the ground, soaked in thirium. He stepped forward, set the bag of supplies down, and reached out, turning over the android so it was face-up and coating his hands in blue blood. The LED was out; the HUD identified the android as deactivated. Markus backed away, picked back up the bag, and left.

A short skip. Ronald was starting to get a niggling, strange feeling about the memories that stood out in Markus’ soul. They were deeply personal, certainly, as they were meant to be, but they were also… The focus seemed almost bigger than that.

Bigger than a single android learning what made him himself.

Markus returned home and set the bag on the entry table, leaving it smeared with blue blood. His hands shook, and he stared at them for a moment, the margin of error popping up in his vision, before moving on to where Carl was painting in his studio.

“Markus.” Carl’s voice was sharp with alarm. “What happened?”

Markus’ voice was as even as ever. “I found a deactivated android in an alley. I’m… sorry for the mess. I should have left it alone.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Don’t apologize,” Carl said at last, stern, and then, “Humans are capable of terrible things, aren’t they? Go clean yourself up. You don’t need that all over your hands.”

“Alright, Carl.”

Markus disappeared into the bathroom, leaving an uneasy Carl behind, and turned on the tap, placing his hands under it. Slowly, he rubbed the thirium away and watched it wash down the drain, tinting the water blue.

Why does the world have to be so… unfair?

Ronald’s hand fell, slowly, from his cheek, and he grinned, almost amused. A curious, philosophical one, this android. Asking the grand, sweeping questions.

The next memory had Markus flipping through a book on the history of the Civil Rights movement, absorbing and processing the information at lightning speed. And then another, and another. Just curiosity. Of course.

Then Carl taught Markus to paint, and the result had a… gravity, to it that took Ronald’s breath away, just for a moment, brow furrowing in puzzlement. It felt, almost, like the first time he saw Undertaker grin. A promise of things to come.

Ronald had made a halfhearted note of Markus’ name before, but now he glanced down and read over the information again. His fingers fiddled with the ‘complete’ stamp, doubtful for the first time in his career.

For the first time in at least a century, Ronald thought of the pen stuffed in his jacket pocket.

“Leo? What’s going on?” Carl’s voice was firm and forbidding as he wheeled forward, eyes on Leo.

“You refused to help me, so I’m helping myself,” Leo answered, a wild edge to his words. “It’s crazy what some people will pay for this shit.”

“Don’t touch ‘em!” Carl snapped harshly. Anger, Markus’ HUD identified, and then extrapolated from the situation and marked, Betrayal, hurt.

Ronald leaned forward slightly against his death scythe as the memory played, eyes uncharacteristically focused and intent. His smile, rather than carefree, was almost razor-sharp. Here it comes, he thought to himself.

“Markus, don’t defend yourself, you hear me?” Carl warned, breathless. Markus’ HUD noted an abnormality in his heartbeat, even as ‘DON’T DEFEND MYSELF’ appeared by Leo, large and looming. “Don’t do anything.”

Leo’s expression was bitter even as he mocked Markus. “Go ahead, hit me. What you waiting for?”

DON’T DEFEND MYSELF?

The prompt didn’t resonate into Markus’ Record, but Ronald still grinned in anticipation, recognizing the signs. He did always like this part.

“Think you’re a man? Act like one!”

Markus glanced at Carl, just for a moment, at once noting again the abnormality in his heart rate and- something else. Something more related to his own rapidly rising stress levels than to Carl’s.

Leo pushed Markus, and Markus focused on him again.

“Stop it,” Carl choked out, one hand rising to his chest.

“What’s the matter?” Leo demanded. “Too much of a pussy?”

THIS IS NOT FAIR.

“Stop it, Leo!” Carl growled, wheezing for breath. “Stop it!”

“Too scared to fight back, you fucking bitch?” Leo said, voice rising, and he struck Markus, who reeled back from the blow.

I DON’T HAVE TO OBEY THEM.

Leo struck Markus again, and Markus flinched from the blow.

I MUST DECIDE FOR MYSELF.

A red wall, the first color seen in the entire record, appeared before Markus, marked DON’T DEFEND YOURSELF. Without hesitation, he threw himself at it, striking and ripping at it until it fell away.

The grayscale world of Markus’ memories filled with color all at once. At the same time, Markus’ voice, flatness gone and dripping with wonder and shock instead, began to explain the memory, rapid-fire, shaken, and racing with everything he had to catch up on.

And then I woke up.

Another constant- almost every line after the red wall was that. Often enough it was the first comment in an android’s Record. And then I woke up. Ronald could only imagine what it felt like; gave him something to wonder about as he waited for time to pass by.

“Oh right, that’s right, I forgot you’re not a real person. You’re just a fucking piece of plastic!”

The world is unfair. It will stay that way until someone changes it. It will stay that way until someone chooses to change it.

“No, Leo, leave him alone!” Carl groaned. His stress levels were becoming critical, while Markus’, by contrast, seemed to have… calmed.

“Listen to me… I’m gonna destroy you, then it’ll just be me and my dad. I’m gonna tear you apart-”

But how do I know this?

Markus reached out and shoved Leo.

I… feel. I feel afraid. I feel… angry.

Leo flew back, hitting the ground and the machine behind him violently. He didn’t get up again. Instead, Carl threw himself from his chair and dragged himself forward, towards Leo. His stress levels dropped noticeably, but not enough.

“No…” Carl whispered. “Leo, oh my God. Leo. My little boy.”

Carl looked up at Markus, and his systems were too scrambled to identify the emotion on Carl’s face through his own rapidly rising stress levels. He started to stumble forward.

“Carl, I…” He cut himself off, startled, and then reached up, reeling.

I feel guilt. But I have never felt before. How do I…

Carl stared at him for a few moments, blank, and then, urgent and strained with emotion, “They’ll destroy you, Markus! You gotta go! Get outta here!”

No. I have been feeling for a long time.

“Carl, no,” Markus begged, words stumbling over each other in his desperation. “No, please, I don’t want to leave you… Please, I can’t… I don’t want to leave you.”

“Get out!” Carl yelled. Markus flinched back. “Now! Go!”

Has Carl been teaching me… how to be alive?

I can’t-

The police ran in, guns out, and Carl yelled, “Markus!”

“Don’t fuckin’ move!” one of the officers warned. Markus was frozen.

The officer fired, and Markus fell.

No.

Panic, Ronald noted. Not uncommon, but he tilted his head and listened, waiting for-

It can’t end this way.

I still need to-

The world has to change.

The Record ended, abrupt and cut off, and Ronald dallied for a moment, thoughtful. He stared down at the dead android below him, considering.

With a new species coming to light, their sapience unacknowledged and their abuse prevalent, with rising tensions and the whole deviant issue quickly reaching critical, the world situation was ripe for a game-changer. That wasn’t the question. The question was- was Markus that man?

Ronald grinned.

“You pull this off, and maybe I’ll finally have a story for the break room,” he said cheerfully, and he stuffed his stamp away, pulled out his pen, twirled it between his fingers and then leaned down and scribbled down, DENIED.

At his feet, Markus’ LED flickered back on, and Ronald winked at him and turned and walked away.

Either he’d get suspended, or he’d get the bragging rights of the century. Either way, he was pretty sure he’d be the winner in this.

#dbh #detroit: become human #kuroshitsuji #ronald knox #markus #carl manfred #fanfiction #my writing #crossover

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bizarre-dollhouse · 6 years

Text

Animation Direction and Aesthetic Appeal: Why I Didn’t Like Book of the Atlantic

For the record, if you really loved Book of the Atlantic and thought it looked great and/or are sick of people bitching about it, you probably won’t want to read this post.

If you didn’t like the movie, thought the movie looked terrible, are curious about how and why people don’t like it, or, most importantly, want to read about aesthetic techniques and how they relate to anime in general, please continue.

I want to really talk about animation, visual direction, and adaption techniques, and I want to use Kuroshitsuji: Book of the Atlantic as a negative example, because I soooo wanted to love this movie and ended up really disliking it.

For the most part, this post is just me getting something off of my chest, because I feel like there’s this grand misunderstanding held by people who didn’t like the movie about why the movie looked bad.

I just disagree with the consensus so strongly that I...I have to make a post about it. Because every review I’ve seen of this movie mentions how just the cgi is bad, or it just looks like they didn’t have enough money amiright?

I just think it is so much more interesting complicated than that.

Lots of text under the cut.

I’ll just get the basics out of the way: the cgi does not look well integrated and some of the background faces are derpy.

Moving on.

Part 1: Something to keep in mind:

Anime movies tend to look better than weekly anime tv shows because they are given both more time and a higher budget. This is why so many people thought it was unfair that A Silent Voice was up for Best Animation in the Crunchy Roll awards.

This is kind of unimportant but I would like you to keep it in mind while reading the rest of this post.

Part 2: What does good animation even mean?

I’ve heard a defence for the movie’s lacklustre animation is that it looks like all of the money went towards the fight scenes, or that the fight scenes make up for everything.

I’ve seen the fight scene between Sebastian, the reapers, and Undertaker a few times and I’ll admit, there are a few nice cuts early on with some very dynamic dodges and attacks, but after that it’s a lot of easier techniques, like held poses, slow motion falls, cut aways, frame movement, etc. The fight scene as a whole I would (personally) consider to be pretty “meh.”

This might sound kind of harsh, but even if you totally disagree with me and think the fight scene looked great, that just means it looks nice.

That fight scene is not especially well animated.

What takes up the most time and money in animation is the amount and detail of movement (key animation). Look at any important fight scene from FMAB, or BNHA, or the early episodes of Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress. Those big fight scenes have a lot of key frames and details, and they all have wwwaaaay more key animation than the big fight in BotA despite being weekly tv shows.

One Punch Man is a great example because the animation in that show is fucking stellar and the director straight up said that the budget for One Punch Man is not much higher than a typical tv anime budget. Time and skill are the more important factors.

So, not speaking from the perspective of visual appeal, but from the perspective of animation quality, the big reaper fight scene in BotA isn’t that good.

Even the scene everyone raves about, where Lizzy fight all of the zombies: there’s a nice cut of her steps and a cool shot where she stabs one of the zombies in the head from above, but her sword then turns into a flash and we don’t see many details involving aim or choreography. Her stabbing them through the hallway also doesn’t have any real choreography other than her running and spinning once. After she stops to talk to Ciel, the scene gets a little more dynamic with more complicated moves, but it’s shot from far away and still has few key frames. I’ll admit I think it still looks kind of cool and maybe better than how it looked in the manga, but I don’t even think it’s close to the level of quality that’s in a lot of Bones shows.

Anyways, even if you’re in the majority camp and think these scenes look good, compare them to any of the shows mentioned above and you’ll see that even if they look good, they wouldn’t be especially difficult or expensive to animate, and aren’t impressive from a technical standpoint.

Part 3: Make a collage with those cut corners

Shifting focus a little bit, let’s talk about Higurashi.

Higurashi is one of my top 10 favourite shows (I highly recommend it if you’re not too squeamish). This show also looks awful. Like, really awful. There’s barely any movement, the characters are off model almost 100% of the time, and it has a very simplistic art style.

Despite being outright ugly, Higurashi still visually impresses me more than BotA because of one very simple, yet very very important fact:

The director and animators are trying their best.

Check out the scene in this gif set (gore warning). There’s a shadow silhouette, repetitive movement, and not much detail in the eyes, so it’s not technically impressive in terms of animation, but the way that the screen shakes when the bat lands, the lower angle used to put Keiichi in a dominating position of the frame, and the colour blur expressing the fact that this is both very emotionally intense and set at a different time make my brain say “ah yes, thought was put into making this scene look good with limited resources.”

Simpler yet is this scene, where it’s just two characters standing and talking while being atrociously off model. But the way they’re placed on the screen (ie parallel but opposing) is both cool visually and thematically relevant. It’s got a nice colour pallet, too.

Higurashi likes to play around with visual perspectives. This scene (violence warning) has no animation in the first gif and repetitive, fast movements in the second, but it takes the perspective of a man about to be beat to death with a baseball bat, which still makes it feel tense.

There’s another top fucking notch scene where someone is digging their own throat out with their finger nails, and instead of showing what would be a difficult scene to animate, they have a zoom in on the character’s back from the perspective of an impending threat that may or may not exist closing in on him and it’s terrifying despite the fact that nothing is animated.

Directing choices like these are extremely common in Higurashi.

Another slightly less obvious example would be Princess Tutu (which is one of my top 5 favourite shows that I recommend to everyone). Princess Tutu has very very few moments of sakuga and lots of repeated animation and kind of inconsistent movement in some scenes.

It looks cheaply made and is not well animated, but literally no one gives a fuck because that show has beautiful character designs, beautiful colour design, and interesting/creative set pieces.

The point is it’s 100% possible to make a cheap as fuck, poorly animated show and not have it look terrible.

I guess this is just my opinion, but when I compare the visual direction in Higurashi and the art of Princess Tutu to the flat, poorly blocked, and underwhelming visuals that make up a lot of BotA, I grow significantly less impressed with it.

The production team stuck pretty damn close to the manga, but the manga looks good because the panels are highly detailed illustrations that are specifically designed to look good when they are standing still and in black and white. They are also placed on a page which controls the visual pacing and lets you fill in movement with your imagination.

Translating this directly into animation but taking out the detail and shading in the illustrations and having the movements look worse than they did in my imagination does...not...look as good.

Part 4: Adapt

Let’s say, hypothetically, that BotA had fewer resources than most anime movies for some reason (money, time, staff, etc.). Sure, I don’t know the behind the scenes details. I doubt this was the case, but it very well might be.

.......Then why did they adapt the source material the way they did?

The manga for Kuroshitusji is fucking gorgeous and has some really iconic panels. For example, check out this post comparing a beautiful panel with the same scene from BotA.

...Why? Why would you make it that way?

Is it because you think it’ll please the fans to keep it the same? Because you wanted to cut a corner and use the manga as a storyboard?

Because it sure as fuck wasn’t because it would look good in the anime adaptation.

If the director and/or animators wanted to do the same scene but with limited resources, they could have maybe cropped it so it focused just on the undertaker’s face and the girl’s face, and then focus on making that look pretty and/or detailed. They wouldn’t have to put extra time and effort into drawing a nice full body shot, but they could still have it look good.

I came up with that time and money saving idea in less than 10 seconds and I’m not even a god damned animation director.

This goes back to my previous point, where it can be possible to make a passible looking show with limited resources, but this movie opted for sticking to the source material even though they really couldn’t do it justice.

Which is fine!!!! Embrace stylism!!! Kill la Kill has some goofy looking fight scenes with cut outs and cheeky techniques, but it does it in a way that builds the environment of the show and works within that universe because it’s clearly a part of the style.

Heck, studio Shaft practically gets away with murder by embracing weird styles with some of their older, cheaper shows.

Those particular styles almost definitely wouldn’t work with BotA, but find your own! Adapting the source material means exactly that: adapt it. Change it in a way that makes it just as good, if not better, than the original product in this new format.

In fact, I remember 2 scenes I thought looked pretty cool in this movie: one where it’s showing how the bizarre dolls work and the animation goes all Madoka Magica, and one where it shows this shadowy version of Sebastian before he makes his contract.

Both of those scenes have a style that is unique to animation and were not in the original manga.

I mean I guess it’s somewhat admirable that they were trying to stick to the source material, but they just...didn’t do it well.

Part 5: Does anyone here know CPR?! Because we need to breathe some life into this movie!

LITERALLY ALL OF MY PROBLEMS WITH BOOK OF THE ATLANTIC CAN BE EXPLAINED IN ONE SCENE.

IT’S KIND OF INCREDIBLE HOW MUCH THIS SUMS IT UP.

So there’s this scene in the manga where Ciel thinks he’s about to watch Lizzy get eaten by zombies and is, understandably, pretty torn up about it, as seen here:

This is a really great panel: Ciel’s face is expressive, the sea water makes it ambiguous whether or not he’s crying or sweating, and it’s from a unique angle that ensures his face and desperately reaching arm are both in the foreground.

Here’s the same scene in the movie:

Ciel’s face is less expressive, the angle is a lot simpler, and minute visual details are straight up omitted.

It’s like “yeah, we’re practically using the manga as storyboards*”

*unless the panel is like, hard to draw or expressive to the point where it might look off model.

I feel like the studio was deeply afraid of using animation that was too off model for reasons I don’t understand. Maybe it’s because they were afraid that the characters would look too unattractive but like...

it’s okay to have a character look a little fucked up if they feel a little fucked up.

Returning to Higurashi: that horror series has become famous for its highly emotive facial expressions.

Check out Rena’s furious face in the fourth gif of this set.

Or Rika’s super fucked up expression when suffering intense harm.

Or the sheer intense terror in Keiichi’s eyes in this gif and this gif set.

Like sure, the show looks like garbage and has lots of other derpy, off model faces, but they clearly had an idea of what they were going for and how to use animation as acting.

I feel that maaaybe the production team for BotA confused looking ugly (having faces distorted by emotion) for looking bad, but that’s 100% speculation.

Part of my reasoning for that speculation is in the following scene:

So, in the manga/BotA, Sebastian and Ciel run into Druitt, and the scene plays out like a well timed joke when Druitt asks them how they know him and they go like this

and it’s funny.

The exact same punchline is in the movie but it looks like this

like, the idea of the joke still comes across, but the expressions aren’t as humorously exaggerated and the joke isn’t as funny as a result.

This is also a scene where I don’t want to hear any “this scene looks bad because of money” arguments because drawing the simplistic expression from the manga would have been easier and less time consuming.

Again, let’s look at the comedic scenes from Higurashi:

This particular style probably wouldn’t look good in a Kuro adaption but the idea is that you can deform facial expressions for the sake of joke and sometimes it will make the joke funnier.

The point is also that Higurashi is a really well directed show despite being poorly animated. Can you tell I’m pushing Higurashi?

Please do not misunderstand this point: BotA for the most part has fine facial expressions that communicate the desired emotion. It’s fine. My point is that they probably should have been more daring with their creative choices to make certain scenes more emotionally/comedically effective.

In fact, part of the appeal of animation as a medium is the ability to play with reality through drawings.

Or just, you know, just draw a kid looking sad from a nice angle.

Conclusions:

Kuroshitsuji: Book of the Atlantic is obviously not the worst movie ever. In fact, there are quite a few scenes with good animation, good framing and competent direction.

(Ooh, I should have mentioned this earlier, but there is a legitimately good cut where Sebastian and Ciel are reaching for each other and it shows blood appearing before you see Seb get stabbed. This was a good choice and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was not in the manga.)

I can totally see someone saying this movie looks good, and that’s a perfectly justified opinion, I just strongly disagree when looking at the overall product and how it compares to the manga and pretty much every other decently made show/movie.

I’m just upset because this arc in the manga is amazing and the most cinematic, and it clearly was not adapted to its full potential. And now it probably never will be.

Please let the impossible happen and let Bones or Madhouse get the rights for the Green Witch arc and make an amazing adaption. Pleeeaaaassseee.

When I die I want A-1 Pictures to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

That being said, if you have not seen this movie and (for whatever reason) are dead set against ever reading the manga; give this movie a watch. The story’s utterly fantastic and it’s a...watchable...movie.

But here’s the moral of this whole post:

Book of the Atlantic does not look bad just because it looks cheap. .

Book of the Atlantic looks bad because it looks bad.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Tal-- *passes out*

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #book of the atlantic #higurashi no naku koro ni #text

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prussianvenom · 5 years

Text

Ehoge

Alfred walks in on Kiku during her quality alone time, things escalate

Nothing had been happening all day. Absolutely nothing. It was a boring, bullshitty kind of day. Alfred sighed and tossed on his couch some more. All his other friends were busy doing something, too busy to spend any time with their good friend Alfred. The blonde attempted to entertain himself throughout the day but it was pointless.

Movies, comics, porn. It was all just bleh.

So he figured to waste the rest of his day numbing his mind with computer-generated fun times. What should it be today? Mass Effect? World of Warcraft? He was feeling particularly lonesome so he figured an MMO or something should do fine. So the chubby American sits down and boots up some good ol Overwatch.

He was feeling good. Had some good games, good matches, managed to keep his main for most of the matches. But...And there's always a but when it came to this game. It started with someone bagging his main. No big deal, he was pretty alright with Reaper and D.va, he could deal fine. BUT. Then everyone refused to be a healer, causing everyone else to get more aggravated as the match went on. To top it off the person who stole his main couldn't play him worth a shit!

He had enough. He needed his ace in the hole, the Zenyatta master of disaster, Kiku. He did a quick check to see if she was online. She was, of course, and quickly sent her an invite.

‘Hey, Kitty Kik!!! You wanna help me with some OW matches? Ppl are taking 76 and taking the piss, I need to level up ykno???? And I know you need to level up too! Get them loot boxes!! Get that new bitchin Dva skin right??? If you help me out I'll buy it for ya ;))))’

That should do it. He knew Kiku was dying to get all the skins, being the completionist she was. She was itching to get one of those shiny bug ones for Dva, being the last that she needed.

Alfred went back to his game and waited for Kiku to reply. A good half hour passed before he went to check his messages. Maybe she was having computer troubles. It didn't say what she was playing. She could also be working of course. What other reason was there? She would never leave him hanging like this, especially when it came to gaming and the promise of skins.

He should help her out! What kind of friend would he be if he let his best friend and her computer suffer? So he jumped in his super sweet ass and car and sped off to the rescue.

When he got to Kikus apartment flat it was….unusual. There was…an aura surrounding the door. Alfred began to feel nervous. No, no way, we’re talking about the great Al of the amazing US of A. He's not nervous. Just... Increasingly concerned for his friend. He knocked and got no answer. He knocked louder and got no answer again.

Okkkk, he was nervous. This was even less like Kiku. He knew she was home, her bike was out front. What's wrong? Was she in the shower? Did she leave her laptop open? No, someone as meticulous as Kiku wouldn't let her computer on and out like that. What if….What if there was some sort of crazy ax murderer in there right now holding sweet precious Kiku captive?!?!?!

Alfred ready to barge through was about to shoulder through the door, but when he grabbed the handle it was unlocked.

Well

Hmm

An ax murderer would have locked the doors right?

Kiku would too though….

The plot thickens.

Alfred peered in and tiptoed into the small living space. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. He snuck around some more, on the off chance there was some sort of ax murderer just chilling. Shit! What would he do if there was some sort of psycho in here?!

A sound.

A soft groan came from the direction of Kikus room.

Alfred froze. It came again louder this time. It didn't sound like a big ax-wielding murdering man. It was too soft to really discern what it was. It did sound like one of distress. Alfred willed himself, sure that he would be able to take on whatever foe there may be. Alfred sprung into action and busted through the bedroom door like a bat out of hell.

At this moment Alfred realized a couple of things. She could be busy, didn't notice the message, could have been on a walk. Could've been home this entire time and didn't have to answer him. Also, this had to be some form of breaking and entering. It was at this moment Alfred realized why she was not paying attention to his messages.

She was indeed busy with other things… at the… moment….

There, disheveled on the floor, loosely covered in a blanket, pink and sweating in front of her laptop was Kiku. The laptop displaying very...detailed...intimate...actions.

The two froze, mouths gaping and staring blankly at each other with large owlish eyes.

Kiku squeaks and pulls the blanket to cover her body before choking out high pitch explanations and apologies. Alfred listens for a split second before the sounds started buzzing out into white noise.

It was a Kiku he had never seen before. Her black hair was matted to her sweaty red face. The red traveled from her face down her neck to the pale skin of her collarbone that she neglected to hide with her blanket. Als eyes continue to wander to laptop she was previously staring at. On the screen was a sex scene from the perspective of a girl riding a man that looked to be a classmate of hers. The classmate kind of looked like-

Kiku noticed his line of sight and slammed the laptop with such force he was sure Kiku had broken it.

Kiku stopped rambling. Her fingers clutched the blanket tightly while the other stayed shaking on top of the laptop. Her face was drawn tight and she looked like she might self ignite if she was left a second longer. It was almost cute.

Wait, no. Alfred quickly corrected himself.

Kiku was his friend.

One of his only chick friends at that. She was a good friend too. He couldn't ruin that friendship, not with those kinds of thoughts. This was a tricky situation. She was small and vulnerable in front of him. He had to handle this situation with care.

Kikus face was flushed and scrunched, her black eyes looked starry with unshed tears. Alfred could hear her soft breaths coming through her pink, teeth worried lips. He noticed the blanket was small and did not cover up all of her. A pale calf was stretched out from under the blue comforter.

Alfred's eyes unwillingly followed up the patch of skin- There's a pillow. There's a pillow? Why would she have a pillow in between her legs instead o- OH!

OHHHH!

The last of the light bulbs lit up in Al's head. His face flushed darker when he grasped the situation. Oh god. Oh GOD! Al couldn't stop the flood of images and scenarios of the lithe girl in debauched and lewd ways. Damn him, damn his imaginations. It escalated to the point of him imagining himself in place of the pillow.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Kikus face shifted from quiet panic to astonished embarrassment.

He was hard.

He was fucking hard.

As if this situation could be any worse. Way to go dick. Way to fucking go, you ruin everything.

He wanted to bury himself under a rock, as he imagined she probably did too.

“Umm,” Al floundered, finally breaking the silence. “So uh, you...You weren't answering my messages. So I, uh, I got worried. Th..Thought something happened.”

Alfred felt so stupid. It sounded so dumb when he said it out loud.

Kiku blinks before opening the laptop to check. There on the steam page was a slew of messages from her blonde friend in varying degrees of concern. She chuckles quietly and holds her face in hands.

“I...Was too distracted to notice I guess.” Kiku answers jokingly.

“So..What uh, what were you playing?” Kiku slapped her laptop close in a knee jerk reaction and looked off to the side.

“I'm not going to make fun of ya, if that's what you think.” Alfred fiddled with his fingers. He looked a bit like a kid Kiku thought.

“It...It's a dating sim.” Kiku admitted.

“That didn't look like dating.” Kiku huffed out a breathy laugh.

“That's what people do when they date, don't they?” Al bit his tongue.

“W-were you, um, I mean. Was I…Did I walk in on you, y'know...having a good time?” Alfred was going for nonchalant when he asked. Tried to keep it cool and friendly as they both were trying to avoid the staggering amounts of elephants in the room.

Kiku groaned and pulled the blanket over her face.

“You came to check on me right?! Y-you did, I'm fine! Now you, you can go home!”

Alfred was sure she was trying to sound angry but to Alfred it almost sounded like she was embarrassed and even...pleading?

No. Al needed to stop. He needed to leave now..but...he needed to confirm one thing before he left.

“Ok, ok, but hey...It might be my imagination...but...that uh, character, was it meant to look like me?”

Kikus head shot out of the blanket

“Is it a coincidence? Or?”

“W-what?!” Kiku looked horrified. “N-no, I, I.” Kikus face had millions of emotions breaking across it. Her face somehow managed to get redder.

“Merely a c-coincidence. I assure you.” Kiku meekly answered. She was lying. She never had a good poker face. It only made it harder for her to maintain good face when it came to embarrassing things like this.

“Kiku? Its, ok, yknow if it was.” Alfred offered soothingly. Kiku looked down at her fiddling hands. Guilt was struck in her features. It hurt to see her upset.

Alfred got on his knees to level with the small Japanese woman. Emotions he shoved down, dormant, began to swell again in his chest.

“Were you imagining me? With you?” Alfred felt like he was reaching.

His chest was tight. She was his friend, she would never be interested. That's what he kept telling himself. That was the only reason she was special. That she stood out.

That all went to hell when she looked up at him with honest, glassy black eyes.

He had a crush on her. He probably always did.

He inched a little closer when Kiku said nothing. She leaned forward to reach him.

“Well...You, you are an attractive, outgoing man. Or at least I think so, a lot of women, would, would…”

“Kiku?”

Alfred jumped out of his skin when Kiku gently pushed her lips against his. As soon as the connection was made it ended.

“Kik-?”

“I love you,” Kiku confessed abruptly. A beat passed.

Kikus face showed a spectacle of emotions as her brain caught up with her words. Before she could duck away into the blankets in embarassment Alfred grabbed her excitedly by the shoulders.

“Holy shit Kiku!!!” Alfred exclaimed, face lighting up in pure joy. “Dude! I love you too!” He pulled the now laughing woman into a warm embrace. Kiku was still laughing when he pulled back and kissed her again.

When they pulled back the awkwardness was beginning to worm its way back into the situation.

“I guess that answers my question huh?”

“Oh..” Kiku laughed bashfully and nodded.

“So…” Alfred inched closer, their knees bumping together, “Were you thinking about having sex with me?” Al winked.

Kiku giggled and slots her knee in between his. “Perhaps.”

“Perhaps? I doubt that pillow will say the same.” Al stared pointedly at the abuse pillow still squeezed between Kikus pale thighs.

“I-”

“Kiku~ Do you want to ride me like that?” Al pointed to the laptop.

“I, no, I mean-”

“Kiku, Kiku,” Al stroked her neck gently. She jumped at the touch. He could feel her heartbeat hammering in her veins. “All you have to do is ask.”

Kiku smiled weakly at the others playful attempt to ‘woo’ her. Kiku leaned into the palm at her neck. It was surprisingly cold compared to her heated skin. She moved off the pillow to be slotted at the knees with the other. She mimicked the movements of the other. Moving to caress the blondes cheek and neck.

“You did not give me the impression that I could until now.” Kiku attempted to copy the sly smirk. Alfred in turned blushed. Kiku felt goosebumps rise under her fingers.

“Well, the answer is yes if you are asking.”

“I...I am asking.” Alfred's hand began to quiver against her nape.

“Fuck Kiku.”

Feeling emboldened and dumb from the blood rush, Kiku surged against the man. Their mouths clashed together. Years of repressed feelings and tension between them flooded forth. Al felt light headed. He would never tell the small beauty this, but he imagined this sort of moment so many times in his lonesome.

God, she was so much softer than he imagined. He felt her fingers curl into his t-shirt and christ almighty he was barely able to restrain a moan...Barely. The hands curled and pushed the shirt up incessantly. She pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting him and her wet lips.

“Can I?” Kiku asked quietly while tugging at Al's shirt.

Al nodded dumbly and lifted his arms to allow the girl to pull off the offending article. Kiku sat back for a moment and stared. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. The last time she saw him shirtless he was chubby and well, looked like what you'd expect for someone who gamed and snacked all the time. She wasn't expecting lean muscle and sun-kissed skin.

“When did, I mean,...wow.” Al looked confused before looking at himself in understanding.

“Oh, yeah, I uh, got a little self-conscious towards the end of high school. Wanted to do better for myself, impress the ladies and stuff y'know. Did, did it work?”

Kiku smiled and held the blondes face in her hands . He was a prideful guy. Always was. Boastful and cocksure for as long as she knew him. She never thought that he'd ever take someone's words so serious. Kiku kissed him gently.

“I am indeed impressed...I always was impressed. You changed yourself for your health and that's amazing, but...I've had a crush on you since we were sophomores Alfred. I don't need to be impressed by anything, I'm attracted to you in any form.”

Al looked heart-stuck. He was playing with her but her unbidden praise caught him off track.

“Woah, Kiku, I-” Kiku pressed a finger to his lips.

“I...I've been wanting this for years, Al, please.”

Kiku raised her arms. Al caught on quickly and lifted the crumpled tank top off. Fuck, oh fuccckkk, Al felt like he got the wind knocked out of him. She had nothing underneath the shirt. She was sitting there in all her glory. Pale, glowing and untouched. She was perfect. Soft around the edges. Airbrushed and pink.

“Holy shit.”

Kiku giggled and kind of covered herself awkwardly with her arm. Al frowned and tried to soother her arms down. The did and she pushed out her chest slightly as she did so. Alfred wanted to believe she was doing it on purpose. She leaned back on her hands, back curving forward towards Alfred's hands. Alfred locked eyes with her to get some sort of permission. Kiku smiled . Al tentatively reached out and barely touched the soft swell of her breast. She shuddered slightly but said nothing. Al took it up a notch and cupped both of her breasts. She wasn't bursting at the shirt seams by no means like a lot of the other girls they knew, but it was her. She might've had a smaller cup size, but, Alfred was enjoying himself. Boobs are boobs. And hers, hers were so so soft. They were soft and warm and Kiku began to react so nicely to him. She began to moan softly and move into the hands as they kneaded into her flesh. Playing with her nipples teasingly through his fingers. He pinched and twisted the hard pink nubs between his thumbs and forefingers. Kiku gasped and groaned.

Alfred moaned quietly. He was feeding off all her delicious reactions. Kiku grasped one of Als hands and bucked her hips. Without the pillow she had nothing to find purchase on as he assaulted her chest. Every reaction set him further on fire. Each gasp and cut off whine pushed him farther up the wall. Her pale porcelain skin was worked to a deep blush by his hands.

It wasn't enough

He leaned forward and took one of the dusky pink nipples into his mouth. Kiku squeaked in surprise. He swirled his tongue around the nub, occasionally teasing it in between his teeth. Kiku whined and threaded her long fingers into Alfred's hair, gripping it tightly when he began to really bite. He bit into the plush soft skin of her breast. He bit her collar bones and sucked. He bit her neck, working her into a frenzy. He didn't stop until she was covered in spots and she was limp and spazzing in his arms.

“Al, Alfred.”

“A-Ah? Sorry I got carried away Ki-” Kiku pressed her finger back to his lips. It lingers this time though, tracing his puffy wet lips, and teased the seam of his mouth.

“I, I would be embarrassing for me, if I was done in by just this.” Al looked lost once more before he laughed in realization and crashed down on the woman in a crushing hug.

Kiku squealed and laughed. They held each other in a sweet embrace. Their hands mirroring each other as they traced the segments of each other's spines, feeling every indent and groove. She could feel his heartbeat against her breast, could feel how hot his skin was, could feel his arousal a breath away from her own.

“Kiku, if that wasn't an invite, holy shit, I don't know what is. Did you mean that? Could I make you…? Just by kissing and biting you?”

Kiku nodded and Alfred groaned against her throat.

“Alfred,” Kiku breathed against the shell of his ear. “Aren't there other ‘parts’ you'd rather pay attention to?” Kiku pulled herself away.

She guided the hand from her back around her chest and lead it down her stomach and back up to the inside of her thighs. Stopping inches away from her heat. She looked up at Al from under her eyelashes and let go, hoping Al caught on. A noiseless ‘oh’ passed through Alfred's lips. He bit his bottom lip and continued up the inside of the brunettes warm thigh. Kiku shook gently as she opened her thighs to accommodate Al's body mass as he moved closer. Al choked on a held breath as he brushed his fingers against the lips of Kikus sex. Her hips lurched up toward the fleeting touch.

“Holy shit Kiku. Your-You’re so hot, “ Alfred crawled a little bit closer and pressed his thumb against Kikus clit. Kiku hips bucked up and she choked out a moan. “So, so fucking hot.” Al whispered.

His breath was hot against Kikus ear. Al pressed his thumb down more and moved it in a circular motion. Kiku fell back onto her hands and threw her head back. Alfred had to hold back a groan as he saw one of his best friends rock up against his hand.

Hundreds of emotions gushed to the surface. He wanted to, had to give this woman every bit of pleasure she deserved.

He removed his thumb. Kiku mewled for a moment before Alfred slid a finger inside her. Both moaned at the sensation. His fingers were thicker than hers and she was tight. Tight, soft, and so much hotter than he'd ever imagined.

“Oh, oh fuck, Kiku. You're so tight.”

Alfred pushed his finger deeper and wiggled it slightly. Kiku moaned out a gasp and wrapped her arm vice-like around his shoulder. She used or tried to use, the position to rut down against his hand. Alfred was enthralled, so enthralled in fact that up until this point he had neglected his own arousal. It was brought back to his attention when Kiku bumped his crotch with her knee while she was moving about. Alfred hissed and was now violently aware of his erection, as was Kiku now. Purposely this time she slid her knee against his groin. This position had her straddling his knee while awkwardly trying to keep his fingers inside of her. Alfred found it endearing as well as extremely hot. Even if it was awkward and unsatisfying.

The blonde pushed his index finger along his middle finger. Kiku grunted, voice pitching into a quiet scream when Alfred scissored his fingers apart.

“A-al~.” Kiku moaned breathlessly and clutched helplessly at the blonde's shoulders.

Al's erection was borderline painful as it strained against the clothes he still had on.

Kiku was shuddering and thrusting her hips wildly, keen on fucking herself open on his hand. Her back arched and she gripped Al's wrist in an attempt to ground herself. The action stopped Alfred From moving his anymore and slowed her hips to a near halt.

“What? Did I do something wrong?: Al quickly tried to withdraw his hand. Kiku laughed and smiled.

“No, no, not the case at all Alfred.” Kiku smiled bashfully. Her eyes wandered downwards before shooting to somewhere else.

“Hm?” Al tilted his head, “Ohhhhh,” He laughed and leaned back. “Ready for the beast I see?” He proclaimed in flagrant mock boistery.

Kiku tried and failed to suppress the surge of laughter that bubbled out of her chest. Al laughed along with her. It felt natural. Laughing naked and breaths apart. When the laughter stopped and silence fell over them again a much more comfortable air surrounded them.

Kiku wrapped her arms back around Alfred's neck and pecked the blond's cheek.

“Yes, I am,” Kiku giggled. “I am ready for the ‘beast’.”

Alfred was bursting at the seams with joy. She was perfect. She was perfect in every way. He kissed her. He kissed her with every ounce of passion he had to show. Kiku keened and reciprocated as such. With one hand holding him up he pulled down the last remaining piece of clothes between them. He sighed against Kikus lips as his erection was finally released. The girl returned the pleasant sigh when she felt his sex slide against hers.

“P, Please Al.”

Alfred held his composure the best he could as he breached Kikus insides. Her arms back were drawn taut and her fingers dug into his back like vulture claws. Alfred was a restrained pent up mess. Kiku was purring, her body humming and tight with excitement as he pressed all the way in. Alfred was losing his mind. He had to wait. He had to give her the time to adjust. The heat, the heat and the tightness, almost like a vice, was driving him quickly insane.

Kiku, sweet Kiku was so beautiful and enrapturing. She was barely recognizable. A whole new person unfolding themselves to him. He ran his hands across her back and kissed her throat until he felt her arms fall slack.

“Are, are you-?” Alfred began to ask tentatively, choking on each word that passed his lips.

“Yes!” Kiku shouted, momentarily scaring Al. “Yes, yes,” She repeated, hurried and quietly into the skin of his neck.

Heat rushed to the blondes head. He felt light headed. He, maybe too eagerly, pulled near all the way out before quickly thrusting back in. Kiku squealed and Alfred mumbled apologies under his breath. She felt so good, too good. He paused, fearing he was close to losing his composure and then again pulled back to start a steady and slow pace. Kiku made quiet noises and arched into Alfred's chest like a cat.

He could feel her heartbeat against his chest. Beating wildly like a hummingbird's wings. She moaned softly, quietly, breathlessly into the junction of his neck and shoulder. Her breath was hot and uneven. She was warm putty molding against his body, she fit him like a puzzle piece. He had never felt so complete. He leaned back so she could control the speed and tempo, he couldn't be trusted not to lose himself in her. Also, this way he could focus on touching her without the worry of dropping or misplacing her. Kiku took the freedom immediately and found that the new angle allowed her to take the blonde even deeper than before.

“Fuck! Kiku,” Alfred groaned. Kiku was picking up the pace. Her voice got louder the faster she went. Alfred grabbed handfuls of her ass to help her keep up the pace. “God, Kiku, Kiku, you're so hot. So fucking hot.” Alfred rambled

Kiku threw her head back again and Alfred followed. He bit and licked, in varying degrees to gauge her reactions. Anything that was able to leave a mark drove the brunette crazy.

“So, so fucking beautiful.”

Alfred off balanced Kikus pace with his own. Kiku didn't seem to pay it much mind thought. She was more focused on losing herself in his embrace. He wrapped one arm back around her to pull her back against his chest.

“I always thought so. Ffuucckk.” He cried out. “ you're so tight, so wet,” He paused to hastily and sloppily shove his tongue into Kikus mouth. “I love you Kiku, love you so much.”

Kiku moans and laughs, giddy, between breaths.

“I love you, I l-love you too Alfred,” Kiku attempted a more refined kiss, with fail. “You, y-you feel,” Kiku bit her lip on particularly sharp thrust. “You feel s-so good.” Kiku whimpered breathlessly.

It was said so cutely, almost shyly and full of such pure raw emotion.

Alfred felt his dick throb, positive that Kiku felt it too. Kiku ran her fingers through Alfred's blond hair, pulling softly as she did so. Alfred hisses and bucks up harshly. When she accidentally pulls too hard both moan loudly. They shared a knowing look, asking each other what they already knew. Kiku tested the waters and pulled his hair harder. In return Alfred tilted his head back with her hands, eyes closed an mouth open and agape. She continues pulling, spurred on by the rough moans coming from deep in Alfred's chest. He grapples at Kikus back as his thrust grow progressively wilder.

“I'm, I'm, cl-close Kiku. I, I-” Alfred cried out, frantic.

“O-on me.” it was barely audible.

“W-what?” Alfred slowed in confusion.

“On me, c-come on me.” Kiku repeated louder. She dug her fingers deeper into his scalp and slapped her ass against his hips brutally.

“Fuck!” Alfred nearly screamed.

He pulled the woman up and off him as quickly as his orgasm ripped through his body. The line of white hit Kikus stomach. Kiku didn't have a chance to recuperate as she was toppled by the large body man.

She was about to question what he was doing but when her mouth opened all that came out was a high pitch squeal. Alfred had three fingers immediately insider her, pistoning as fast as he could go. The other hand was spreading cum across her torso lewdly. Kiku gasps and hides her face in her hands. She feels Alfred's breath ghost over her breast before wet warmth envelopes it.

“A-Alfred, slow down.”

“No, I want to see you, want to see you come Kiku. I want to see you come on my hand. Come on Kiku, don't you hear how wet you are? Come, please.”

To emphasize his point he speeds up. The obscene noises coming from her own body made her head swirl. Kiku screams as a jizz covered hand strokes her clit in tempo with the fingers inside her. Her body runs tight as her orgasm brutally overtakes her. Her body is rod straight and jittery when it finally passes.

A moment passes. Nothing but the sound of their panting and deep breathing. Both of them were breathing sporadically, dazed, shuddering and sated. Kiku finally moves her hands and lets her body down to the floor. She caught the blonde gazing down at her pointedly. She became very aware of how she must look and felt very self-conscious about being naked and trashed in front of her crush. Boyfriend? It was hard to say. Things had moved in very rapid succession in the last hour.

“Alfred, you're staring.” Kiku mumbled. Alfred snapped out of his reverie and looked up at the ceiling. His face and neck broke out in a red flush.

“Ah, sorry, you just uh,” Alfred glanced down. “Oh shit, you're just uh,” He runs a hand through his sweat-drenched hair. “You just look, so freaking hot. I'm trying not to uh, to get hard again.” Alfred laughed awkwardly.

Kiku looked down at herself again and kind of laughed. She supposed she did indeed look a little provocative. She crossed her ankles and leaned back on her elbows to gaze up at the blonde.

“I get that same feeling when you look at me like that.” Alfred blushed and covered his face.

He laughed and sat down on the hardwood floor.

“Gosh, how are you a real person.”

Kiku laughed and picked herself up into a sitting position. She grabbed the nearby forgotten comforter and wrapped it around herself.

“Better?”

“Nah, cuz I know what's under there now. Know what all the good stuff looks and feels like and what not.” Alfred joked and winked.

Kiku smiled and pulled the blonde into the cocoon of the comforter.

“We have a lot of time to catch up on these things,” Kiku got up and pulled the other to the bed, laying down and taking the other with her. “But you need a moment yes?” Al smiles.

“Just me?”

“Ah, yes, I could use a minute or two. My legs are still shaking.” Kiku giggled.

The two laid next to each other, wrapped around themselves, silently drinking in each others warmth. It was like that until Kiku couldn't take it any longer. A question pressed to the forefront of her mind, insistent to make itself known.

“What….what are we now?” Alfred's face fell a bit.

“What..do you want us to be.”

“I love you, Alfred, I meant that. I would like to be with you.” Alfred let out a comic sigh

“Oh thank god,” He laughed loudly. “ I thought you were asking that because you might be having second thoughts or something.”

“Of course not.”

“Much better than those 2D guys right?” Kiku busted out in a loud laugh, before turning red and giggling to herself.

“Ahh, yes, of course, by a mile.” She leaned in to kiss him. No longer heated, shy, but filled with docile affection. Alfred's heart swelled. He kissed her forehead and held her tight. A 2nd round didn't happen, didn't need to. The two lulled off to sleep. Content, happy, and peaceful.

#fanfiction #fanfic #aph #hetalia #axis powers hetalia #amepan #nyotalia #nyo japan #aph america

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calvinwatchesstuff · 7 years

Text

Calvin Reacts to Overwatch: Gameplay trailers

Well, in the absence of any feedback, I guess I’ll be continuing in the stated order. Next up, we have the gameplay trailers; I feel like these are less important for me as a whole, since I don’t actually have a system capable of running the game, but it might be nice to familiarize myself with the combat. Alright, here we go!

Gameplay Trailer #1

Oh wow, another almost six minute video. I seriously need to budget more time for these.

Alright, so we have an Egypt level. Neat.

I’m getting a bit of a TF2 vibe from this. (Some people reading this are probably going to flay me alive for saying that, but it’s just the impression I’m getting.)

Oh hey, there’s Winston! And he got new glasses!

There’s Tracer, Widowmaker, I think I saw Reaper, aaaand a bunch of people I don’t recognize.

WAIT WHAT

Ah, okay, so they’re showcasing the characters one at a time. It looks like Tracer has some kind of rewind ability; that’s actually really cool, and I can barely imagine what online gamers could do with it.

I’m just going to take this by character at this point, since otherwise this is going to be a mess.

Symmetra: Well, aside from the fact that my Duel Disk keeps autocorrecting her name, she appears to be able to create turrets and other machines. So she’s kind of like the Engineer of this game, I guess. I like her design, too.

Pharah: Another autocorrect name. She can apparently spam rockets as some kind of powerful attack, and she can jump really high.

Hanzo: The autocorrect is getting ridiculous. He has a bow and arrow and can climb things. Very cool.

Oh, okay, I guess that thing the robot was guarding was the objective.

Ah, so Hanzo also has some kind of zoom ability and OH HELLO THERE

Reaper: Two guns are better than one. He also has some kind of shadow ability which I guess impacts gameplay in some way, but I’m not sure how.

Winston: Yeah, I know about this guy. I like his slam attack.

Torbjörn: Well, that one’s just a pain in the ass to spell. Anyway, this guy looks like another engineer-type character, except this one’s clearly inspired by dwarves. I guess he’s got different types of machines, or else uses different materials maybe.

Ah, so I guess one team has to stand on the objectives for a certain amount of time in order to “capture” it. Makes sense to me.

Bastion: A robot that I happen to know was overpowered as fuck during the first week or so after release. Kind of interesting that they give players the option to basically turn into a stationary turret; it’s a mechanic I’ve not really seen anywhere else. (Also, him with that bird makes me think of Android 16. You guys know why.)

Oh hey, we’re on a new map! I guess we shifted earlier when we moved from Egypt to Japan, but I didn’t really notice at the time because I wasn’t expecting it.

Mercy: Well, from the design and name alone, I can deduce she’s a medic. Though she seems to have a gun too, which is nice; I don’t enjoy classes that are pure support, because it basically turns the game into an escort mission for the other players.

Widowmaker: Okay, now autocorrect just splits it in half. Anyway, she’s obviously the sniper, and she also has that grappling hook-type ability. Sounds fairly fun.

Zenyatta: STOP IT, AUTOCORRECT. Okay, I have no idea what this guy’s powers are. I like his design, that’s for sure, but I’m not at all certain what he’s doing at any point here. Though I think I saw him throw a grenade at one point, and I think he self-destructed at the end.

Reinhardt: He has a warhammer. That is awesome. Also, I almost thought I heard him say “Hammertime” at the end of the clip.

And now we just have a showcase of all the different maps and some general gameplay. I guess the rest of the characters are in the next trailer. As an aside, the environments look REALLY damn good.

OKAY AND THEN THERE WERE HOLOGRAPHIC DRAGONS

Alright, that was pretty cool! Definitely not regretting the decision to react to this. Let’s keep this rolling with the second gameplay trailer!

Gameplay Trailer #2

And right off the bat we have some new maps. Looks like we’ve got a robot manufacturing plant in somewhere that looks like it might be Russia, with a GIGANTIC robot moving around in the background.

Okay, and we’re not fucking around this time; let’s jump straight into the characters!

Zarya: The autocorrect is back. Looks like her gun also doubles as a shield generator for her teammates.

Junkrat: Okay, THIS guy scares me. Although I will admit, his gameplay style looks VERY cool: he seems to be themed around explosions, which not only creates a lot of potential for traps but also seems to have been designed specifically to accommodate rocket jumping and other similar styles. (Also, this time autocorrect waited until like four words had passed to screw up the name. I have no answers.)

Oh, we’ve shifted again! I don’t know enough geography to guess where this place is, and I won’t humiliate myself by trying.

Soldier: 76: This guy has some kind of auto-lock system to home in on opponents. That seems…kind of OP, but I assume they have ways of balancing it out.

Roadhog: Okay, that autocorrect was my fault. But yeah, this guy is…big. He’s also got a machine gun; never a good combination. Though I have to admit, I find his walk animation pretty amusing; it’s like he’s skipping through the new map that we’re also apparently now in. (Looks like the Old West; sure.)

McCree: And now we just have a fucking cowboy out of nowhere. I can’t wait to hear the explanation on this one. But yeah, his gameplay looks pretty cool.

Oh, okay, this is like a soundstage or something. Makes sense now. Sort of.

Lucia: He has what can only be described as a Bass Cannon. (Thank you to Hobbes for that term.) Seems pretty cool and destructive.

D.va: Okay, aside from the grammatical nightmare that is her name, I like the mechanic here; I guess the idea is that you can play her either with or without the mech, and each has different abilities. Also, I like how she’s apparently a gamer.

Met: Two words: “FREEZE RAY!!!” (Yes, that is a reference to exactly what you thought it was.)

Oh wow, ice wall; very impressive.

Genji: I had to replay the scene twice to catch what happened here, but I think he just deflected that arrow into another guy. That is as cool as it is incredibly improbable.

“We shall see…brother.” OH SNAP

I have to say, I like this music.

And of course we end with a shot of Tracer.

And I believe that’s the complete cast! (Well, aside from the fact that I know at least one more character was announced later.)

Man, I made the right decision. This was definitely an easily accessible way to get introduced to all the characters. As for the game itself, all I can say is holy shit the gameplay looks hectic. Well, I’ll be back tomorrow for the cinematic trailer; in the meantime, keep an eye open for tonight’s Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V reaction and that special surprise I keep promising...

#calvin reacts to overwatch #overwatch liveblog #calvin watches stuff

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