#m afraid of things

[neverendingford]

.

#m afraid of things #surely there's no other aspects here at all at play #they always either jump on the depression or the anxiety train and they ride it into the sunset #and I“m sitting here like yeah sure explain this to me not like I've heard it before not like I”ve read fucking academic papers about it #therapists sitting at their desk typing with a single finger going “today I taught the patient that her anxiety is anxiety” #congrats I'm glad you're getting paid for this I'm not getting anything out of it though #also a half hour isn't long enough to talk about fucking alnything at all #an hour is barely enough time to explore a topic with any sort of thoroughness so a half hour? miss me with that shit #I'm over here like “hey I've never wanted to fuck someone more than twice and I move friend groups like I”m playing musical chairs #and I block five year friends with no emotional hesitation at all. maybe there's something wrong? #and the therapist perks up like “oooo maybe it's anxiety? or it might be your depression but it's anxiety I think” #if I had an autism diagnosis they would be just substituting the word anxiety for the word autism #useless useless useless #I know how to fix most of my problems I #m here to learn calculus cause I've already learned algebra don't fucking try and teach me arithmetic #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so annoyed #“wow you type so fast” yeah yeah can we get back to talking about things? #was gonna talk about the year it's been since I tried to kill myself and she's like “now I know talking about your feelings can be scary” #I'm not fuc king scared of being open I'm usedto being open and easily read stop projecting and assuming ughhh hh foaming at the mouth rn #if anything it's a problem that talking about emotions isn't scary cause I'm so fucking detached from them they're happening to someone els #someone else not me it's not me who feels emotions its whoever else is in here I'm at the keyboard but I can't see the screen #life is just co-op gaming with myself and we share functions and we're so in sync we don't recognize the other as separate usually #but he's got the emotions today actually that's not true I've got the rage I've got the anger I'm going into self defense mode I can feel i #I #tag talk #vent #iteration- *checks notes* 5 of feeling smarter than the therapist I got assigned #today we spend thirty minutes going over how anxiety is actually a kind of fear. wow so amazing and cool #I'm really learning so much here about how Im here because I recognize I have patterns of behavior that I can't find the root cause of #Im going to leave before I just start ranting. anyway. I'm annoyed nobody fucking understands us when we're talking

[hawktims]

No. I wanna be with you. Sleep in the same bed with you all night. Not get kicked out at midnight so the neighbors won't see me leaving in the morning.

FELLOW TRAVELERS (2023) 1.03 | HIT ME

#fellow travelers #tvedit #fellowtravelersedit #cinematv #cinemapix #tvgifs #matt bomer #jonathan bailey #such a simple scene but so many things to unpack and love!!! from tim not being afraid to stand his ground #to hawk not belittling or denying his wants and not correcting him when he said couple #tim you dramatic sensitive baby you deserve the world yeah you go tell him what you want #also obsessed with the slightly amused glint in hawk's eyes #that 'obviously' is strangely endearing to me idk why #im so obsessed with them im gonna cryyyyyyyy again #mine #m: gifs

[moonbythecabstan]

Don’t think about how Loki has been searching and craving for someone to truly see and understand him his whole life. He finally finds this in Mobius, someone who has studied nearly every moment of Loki’s life, can see through his lies and tricks and games, yet doesn’t necessarily see Loki as a bad person. A villain. He even finds it amusing sometimes.

Which is why it’s so much harder on Loki when he comes across past TVA Mobius and Don/Mobius. Why he becomes so desperate for Mobius to recognize him. Because that one person he could call a friend, the one person who saw everything Loki did and was going to do and still believed in him, suddenly had no idea who he was.

#I know it’s probably obvious #with the whole Loki being afraid to be alone thing #but it just scratched my brain just right thinking about it #that scene where he turns around and says “mobius it’s ME #like…that desperation #sure he was being chased by people with pruning sticks but it’s beyond that normal fear #Lokius #Mobius M Mobius #Loki Laufeyson

[ardentpoop]

GNASHING MY TEETH

#this season could have been GREAT if their relationship had gotten the focus it deserved and if these DAMN writers weren't so afraid of #character development that their plotting strategy of choice was throwing bowls of spaghetti and m&ms at the wall #spn #liveblog tag #13.23 #they are quite literally the only thing i cared abt in s13 the rest was all utter shit #(also rowena of course she's my queen)

[safk-art]

Knock knock!!! Reverse trick or treat 🍬

Here’s a little something for you.

Happy spooky season! 🖤🎃👻

this is the cutest thing to receive in my inbox,

i haven't had any for over 10 years.

Happy Halloween to u too <3

#asks #dont be afraid to send me asks #i m free from the as hole work #happy halloween #stranger things #steve harrington

[frikatilhi]

I am so tired

#our government is shit #i'm afraid the next president is a far right bozo #no-one is opposing israel except artists #what about economics and sports #why is umk celebrating a song about misinformation by a putinist #there are so few enjoyable things left #the world is shit and what good is left gets ruined #i m so tired #also i haven't gotten a full night's sleep in forever #and i try to keep negative stuff away from here #but i'm so tired

[transmascutena]

What do you hc are some of utena & anthy’s specific n mundane favorite things about each other?

I.e Utena having a subconcious habit of always circling a couch once before she plops down on it to watch tv, or anthy’s hands often smelling like the specific brand of cat food that anthy swears by even though there’s no difference between it and the rival brand, and how anthy’s improved a good bit at cooking since ohtori, but for the life of her she can never manage to fully manage frying eggs, so the edges are always a bit burnt when utena eats them, and utena’s taken up wood working n carpentry as hobbies, and she ends up seeming to trail the slightest bit of wood shavings everywhere, with a habit of having one hand gloved and the other not so she can do whatever it is she took a break from the wood working for

aww i love all those examples :)) i actually included that exact thing about the burnt eggs in one of my fics, so that's a fun coincidence. here are some more:

anthy has a habit of humming songs she likes while doing any of her hobbies (painting, writing, cooking/baking, gardening, etc etc) and even though it's always slightly out of tune, utena loves listening to it

utena has a habit of falling asleep on the floor in the exact same way their cat does which anthy finds both funny and endearing

utena loves anthy's laugh more than anything in the world, especially because she was so unused to hearing it back in ohtori

just in general she appreciates anthy's openness, whether she's rambling abouta cute bug she saw or expressing her annoyance at someone she had to interact with earlier (even when that someone sometimes is utena herself.)

she also always enjoys it when anthy is really passive aggresive to people neither of them like. they can both be kinda mean and petty sometimes, but usually it's to people who deserve it

anthy likes the feeling of the callouses on utena's hands when she holds them. there's a scar on the back of her hand that she likes running her thumb over

utena talks in her sleep occasionally (kind of canon already) and sometimes it wakes anthy because she's a light sleeper. she thinks it's sweet, if a little annoying at times

when anthy concentrates really hard on something she gets this expression on her face that utena finds adorable

anthy thinks utena's clumsiness and tendency to trip over things is cute

#i'll be honest i don't think i'm great at coming up with specific headcanons especially when it comes to small mundane things like this #so this was a bit of a challenge. like i have this pretty cohesive idea of what their lives and relationship looks like in my head i just #don't really know how to put it into words. and when i do i do it in the form of writing where the headcanons are weaved naturally into it #and not in the form of bullet points i have to come up with on the spot. #THAT BEING SAID . i love receiving asks like this because it makes me think about them being happy and that makes me happy :) #and i don't usually talk much about them post-ohtori otherwise even though i want to #headcanons #utena and anthy #asks #m #don't be afraid of this world where we'll meet

[rainbows-fanfics]

Also, an update for my Nightmare Before Christmas readers-

I promised to publish a rewrite of the Tokyopop comic series, Mirror Moon, but haven’t delivered on that. I wrote down some notes on how I’d like that story to go, and even started writing an introduction for its first chapter, but haven’t touched it since. I don’t know if I will continue with that project, since there is now another TNBC comic in the works(The Battle for Pumpkin King), and what I had in mind for my rewrite was a little...big. So, that story would require a lot of free time and constant motivation.. If I happen to have that in the future, I’ll tackle it! But for now, I have no plans on working on that project for awhile.

I have also promised another sequel in my line of TNBC works, to follow after Our Nightmare. THIS I definitely plan on writing, but, again -- when I have the time. I’ve been working on another story for a different fandom in the meantime, so when that one is done, I’ll look into properly plotting out my next Jack x Sally story in my series.

Since it’s been so long, I’ll tell you all what it’ll be about: Jack and Sally’s children. (Obviously.) I’ve never actually made proper OCs for their kids, so it will take some time to create and develop them, then longer to actually write the story. I’ll also be acknowledging a bit of my canon divergence in this particular fic, to circle back to the movie. It’ll be interesting. I also want to write all the family/domestic fluff I can of Jack/Sally and the kids -- so I promise to deliver on all that!

As for the Jack X Sally requests/prompts, I quickly lost motivation for them. I may have to scrap it for the time being. I’ve still kept all the prompts I’ve gotten, so if/when I ever want to write them, I have them! But don’t expect any new additions for that one, until I have the motivation....I apologize. :( It’s likely I’ll get in the mood, come September-ish, and the season is right. I might post something then.

Thank you all for the patience, and here’s hoping I can write...something...soon! Ahaha.

#update #writing for tnbc is a little hard since fics dont get much traction until the halloween season #kind of like the situation w fanart honestly #and so i dont want to publish something and get little following/feedback #i do not write for those things believe me but i had to end Our Nightmare because my feedback dropped considerably and it really deterred m #im afraid of that happening again #and i want to write another full fledged story with many chapters #so i want the timing to be more right if you know what i mean? #i would also love to make a story about lock shock and barrel since i had to cut it short with them in our nightmare #there's a lot of potential and things i want to dig into with them #and maybe a mirrorverse fic would be cool to do too #but ive no motivation to do any of these for now #i have many Ideas but life has been hard and its probably why i lost so much inspiration #my life will soon settle down again so hoping i pick up something at the end of the year #<:)

[stormyoceans]

please share them! you express yourself better than you think, i'd appreciate your input a lot 🥺

sfjksgfjs you guys are way too nice to me, im a mess at explaining myself and im afraid to say something wrong, but.. i'll try to quickly sum up my feelings and you guys can tell me what you think

i guess my main opinion is that now more than ever i shy away from an interpretation of vegas and pete that's too clear-cut and that tends to close them into very specific boxes. saying that pete is a ray of sunshine who is so good that he cares about vegas despite everything vegas put him through is way too over-simplistic and pete himself told us this episode: 'what do you know of this darkness?' vegas asked him, and pete's answer was 'i know it all too well'. in the same way, i can't really agree with interpretations that reduce vegas to a psychopath or, on the opposite, to a sad little boy whose actions are excused because of the abuse he also experiences

this is also why saying that vegas only needed someone to show him some love and acceptance feels like, again, a oversimplification of vegas and pete's relationship to me. like.. of course it's partly that, but if it was JUST THAT then he already had it with tawan, but vegas still didn't want a lick of it. also vegas worried about pete BEFORE pete talked about their fathers, which yeah, you can read it as vegas not wanting pete to die because otherwise he would be alone, and again it IS that but it's also more of that. pete has always been different, he's always been the one person to see through vegas' mask and he's the one person that won't bend or break in front of vegas' real self, which sets him apart from everybody else

what im getting at is that, with the two of them, it's really all about recognition of the self through the other. vegas and pete are each other's mirror: vegas is someone that pete could have become if he hadn't decided to end the circle of violence and chose to be different from his dad, and pete is showing vegas that he could be someone else other than this angry cruel thing he's let himself become

i think this is what the unpopular part of my opinion comes into play, because i kinda believe vegas and pete are, ultimately, two sides of the same coin. and not to bring literature into this, but they really are heathcliff and catherine from wuthering heights. i think 'whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same' is the perfect quote to describe vegas and pete's relationship, and please be aware that im not romanticizing it, because this isn't healthy and it isn't good, but it perfectly shows the inevitability of it all: for vegas it can't be anyone else but pete, and for pete it can't be anyone else but vegas, because in a way they ARE each other, which is why they're the only person who can see and understand and love the other in all their light and darkness

#this was.. way too long and a whole mess and i still don't think i got my point across like i wanted ;;;;;; #but yeah this is just my current interpretation of things and i could be very wrong #which is why is gonna be so interesting to see how next episode goes #also i don't know enough about stockholm and lima syndrome to clearly say if that's what's happening or not #but i do think we're throwing these terms around a bit too freely #and im shutting up now #im.. kinda afraid to put this in the tag but ;;;;;; #vegaspete #m: ask

[kittyhazelnut]

You have to kidding when you say lokius or whatever is the superior Loki ship? Just because you ship it that doesn't make it superior. On top of that Mobius is the ugliest person to ever ship loki with

man, fuck off. someone asked me my opinion on Loki ships and I responded with my opinion on Loki ships. this is that whole "everyone on tumblr is chronically online and thinks every post must be About Them Specifically" bullshit I was talking about earlier. a girl can't even call her fav ship superior in her own post about her own ships without some asshole getting mad that I didn't account for Every Single Marvel Fan's Opinion Ever. make your own post about your own favorite Loki ship if you're this bitter idfc just go away

#also imagine thinking 'he's ugly' is a good defense about why you don't like a ship? #especially when that ugly person is Owen Wilson as Mobius M Mobius‚ the most precious bean of all precious beans??? #when i look at Mobius I don't even see Mobius okay when I look at Mobius i see a being who descended from the heavens #Jesus Himself wept the first time He saw Mr. Mobius M. Mobius because He knew He would never live up to this man #I don't see how you can be upset with *me* for seeing Mobius for the beautiful wholesome fantastic man he is #is it my fault that you're too blind to see the complete and utter adoration Mobius has for this man‚ this god‚ this BEING he's been #searching for for years? is it my fault that you don't understand how deeply and hopelessly in love Mobius fell before hed even met a Loki? #your ignorance to the greatest love story of all time reflects only on yourself‚ anon‚ not on me #fr tho jokes aside i dont give a fuck what you ship and what you don't ship just keep that shit to yourself and your anti community #like why do you hate happiness anon? #when taylor swift said 'i want to be defined by the things that i love‚ not the things i hate‚ not the things that im afraid of‚ the things #that haunt me in the middle of the night‚' she was handing you a guide on how to be less of a miserable fuck and you just threw it out the #window #I'm not even mad man i just feel bad that your life is so miserable you gotta send mean anons about pointless shit #(also the fact that i wrote a whole paragraph praising thorki and you had an issue with my one sentence about lokius is embarrassing 💀) #look i have an ask #i need to stop posting at night because this was a lot of tags for an ask that I'll forget about in 20 minutes lmao

[barkingangelbaby]

no but I miss smoking weed I miss being high I miss intentionally dissociating I miss feeling numb I miss not having to think I miss existing in a space without physically feeling it I miss I miss I miss

#I'm not afraid to admit i have issues with substance abuse probably #i smoked weed for literally half of my life #i think i was smoking a q a week before i quit #just zonked out i did not exist i was not a person #and i know it's good for me to have (mostly) quit but damn #with the way my moods have been lately i just want to get stoned out of my mind and pretend i don't exist #not suicidal i just. do not want to be. #things can and will get better though #but fuck fuck fuck do i wish i could get stoned without feeling like my heart's going to explode #don't read this next one #tonight i miss doing pills even tho it's been like 4 years since i did last and i know that's a bad road to go down again #but fuck i just want to be n u m b and i don't want to drink as much as i did in december #someone punch me in the face #u didn't read any of this #dumb dumb #delete later

[irl-dogboy]

ur the furry bucky person and im the furry zemo person. we should be friends

(idk if that sounded weird but that wasn't the intention gjdkdkd im just saying. there's something in there somewhere.)

FURRY ZEMO!!! WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS if we join forces we'll be unstoppable. please take this as a peace offering

#ask #anon #anon ur so real and also the only other person who understands me #but i m currently doing zemos furry design and i am STRUGGLING so if u feel comfy dont be afraid to msg me on here or twt if u have ideas #or a design or something (and ofc no pressure or anything) #i will get his design done eventually and then buy this ych #then everyone can enjoy furry wb guro blood frotting lol #doodle #winterbaron #bucky barnes #helmut zemo #ik i put this on twitter already but zemo playing with buckys teeth is my fav thing ever

[demadogs]

just saw someone make a completely serious post saying “FUCK the duffers and FUCK netflix” because a single instagram of mike and el kissing posted by the latin american netflix account fully convinced them that m!leven is endgame and we’re being queerbaited. this fandom is so embarrassing sometimes. ​did you think theyd post a pic of mike wheeler with a fucking pride flag behind him or something??

#i am not afraid of being a little mean bc this is dumb as hell #these people are just as annoying as the toxic m*levens #stranger things #byler tumblr

[androcola]

i still remeber when someone vagued me on a monke.es confession account saying that i was romanticizing abuse(Several of my followers and moots then came out and were like That Simply Isnt True) and i think that really changed the way i talk about my headcanons

#anytime i wanna talk about somethinb im like ''oh god what if tjis gets me a call out post '' and i just dont post anything #they came to mw later on anon and apologized cuz thwy didnt mean it and that they were having a hard time. which was nice #but i guess im always afraid about delving into sorta ..deeper darker parts of my canon cuz i am afraid thag people will get mad #i try to do it very respectfully amd just talk about it as neutral as possible like anything else #theres a lot of stuff ive kept out of main tags because of that. and i try to tag accordingly #idk. i have a very carefully curated counsel of people on my blogue . but i still fear offending ppl #like on one hand i get on my thing and im like ''people these days just hate being challenged by media!'' #and then i realize i sound like a conservative stand up comedian. cuz the media i make it about is . literally so innocent #i really made it my own thing. i am deeply addicted to world building and making things deeper than they are #i think its a general consensus though in the fandom that mike had a shitty abusive dad. atleast amongst most ppl #all m onkee.verse .btw #sometimws i step back and realize just How Weird my canon is though. but then i remember the peter aids fic and then i feel better

[thedeadthree]

the blood of the dragon runs thick etc etc (x)

🦀 CESSAIR CELTIGAR

🌊 MAELOR TARGARYEN

🐚 SELYSE ROGARE SEASTAR

🐉 MAEKAR TARGARYEN

#ty ty beloved picrew and i here by introduce my clowns <3 #oc: cessaire celtigar #oc: maelor targaryen #oc: selyse seastar #oc: maekar targaryen #my sea witch selyse! #she only went by the surname as she was disinherited from her family for……. witchy things that she did sksjxjxj #her father wished to convert to the faith which is more logic based than magic which meant she had to halt her practices or be disinherited #and…… she chose the latter zkjzjx. fast forward a couple years later it didn’t bode well and he halted is following but by that time -> #her father and her were already estranged and she was like….. no chance soxjjxjx #his full name is maekar corlys targaryen keeping up with the mae in the first half of his name #bc maegoric bloodline targaryens ✨😵‍💫🥀 #and his middle name is bc his father maelor was the best friend and right hand of corlys ✨😌 #the sea snake and the brat with the dragon jsjxhxh #or more like the sea wyrm was his and the title of his dragon krosis ✨😵‍💫🌊🤍 #cessair my baby the daughter of the master of coin at one point wife to a velaryon and dearest of m*aegors wives 🥀🦀❣️😵‍💫 #(she also totally might’ve not been the one to…… do him in ✨👀😵‍💫🥀) #(he was IN LOVE WITH HER and with that he was afraid of her realizing he wasn’t the idealized image she had of him..) #(so r*haena needed to convince her of his nature and she had to be the one to….. zero him ✨🤧) #(she knew she made the right decision but her past haunted her for years ✨😖) #maelor and selyse meeting is one of my favorite ideas i have akjzjxjx #assassins political intruige and sorcery oh my! she LOATHEDD him at first but his annoying charms grew on her like a fungus aozjxjx #maekar my BOY dragonrider of zahkriisos hero king of ulos and buffoon who means business 🥀❣️😌 #ex fiancée of iovannas! and was on again off again for years! #wanted nothing to do with the dance until corlys asked for his aid in the step stones against the triarchy 🥀😌 then he was in! but only that! #love my beloved dragon family <3 #t: picrews #leg.ocs

[xfindingtrouble]

forever thinking about how ellis' schizophrenia was simmering in the back of his mind but probably wouldn't have flared up until he was older if he hadn't walked in the fade as a non-magic user

#ooc. #the most horrific thing he thinks he ever experienced was what happened in the mage tower #by the time he gets to the deep roads he is so desensitized he's Over It #[ he's more focused on golems though Lily put him in his fucking place for thinking that way bcs the moment he's like #' well branka has a point ' #lily kicks the shit out of him (rightfully) ] #but i will forever be thinking about how he as someone was afraid of magic & that fear being Proven but also as someone who #becomes desinsitized to that fear via exposure #like i dont think there is an ' aha magic good ' moment for him ever #but he just get more scared of other things & doesn't have the energy to think that way anymore #magic as a tool regardless of consequences #i will also note that walking in the fade slapped him like a bad mushroom trip it Fucks Him Up #i have a post somewhere about it but it is super outdated but i would love to dig into it sometime #when he does eventually seek out help & get medicated i also like to think it is the thedas version of magic mushrooms he just microdoses #on an actual schedule to keep his brain from going >:((( #idk i a m thinking about him today