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eviesaurusrex · 2 years

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"Face your fears, Doctor Strange." || S. Strange

[GIF is not mine!]

pairing: Stephen Strange x Stark!Reader

word count: 4.6k (ooooops?)

summary: After saving the universe and becoming the Infinity Witch, Tony's younger sister felt nothing like her former self. Stephen screwed up badly, but Earth-838 Christine helped him see that he could truly become happy only through facing his fears (I'm terrible at summaries, so please ignore this accident, thank youuu.)

warnings: MoM spoiler (not really, but i just put it in), sad boy Stephen, a bit of swearing, my grammar (yes, that's a warning because I wrote this in the middle of the night and I don't trust my own beta-reading skills lol), a bit of angst, fluff at the end, that should be all, if not tell me!

author's note: Well, Well, Well. Welcome to my first ever uploaded story. Please be kind to lil' old me because that's the first one, and my anxiety is at an all-time high. But my utter adoration for this man has to come out, so… enjoy, I guess?

Lovely comments and reblogs would be much appreciated! Loads of love for reading, people! <3

“Face your fears, Doctor Strange.”

The words of Christine Palmer echoed through his head as he stood on the verge of the conjured portal, his shoe tips already gracing the ground of the coniferous forest. Blue eyes overlooked the grant lake at which shore a lovely wooden cabin sat, the sun rising over the cloudless sky and the birds singing their songs, unbothered by the unusual sound of the golden sparking portal. He knew he had to do it, knew how bad he screwed the only good thing in his life up, and how bad he treated the woman he loved the most.

Stephen Strange rarely felt fear creeping up in his body, but now, on the edge of facing his biggest mistakes, he felt it – cold and icy within his veins, while the blue of his eyes searched the shore for the distinctive hair his lover called her own. Emptiness was the only thing that greeted the Sorcerer at that moment, and Stephen sighed deeply.

“Stop being a headless chicken, Strange,” he scolded himself in a hushed voice and stepped over the portal barrier and onto the soft ground of the woods surrounding him now. “Finally!” Wong’s voice reached him, and Stephen turned around to see the Sorcerer Supreme standing behind him in the grand foyer of the Sanctum, a bowl of cereals in hand. “Go get your girl back, Strange. It’s about time.” And with that, Wong raised a hand and closed the portal with the spoon still between his fingers.

The doctor sighed again, even deeper now that Wong knew of his whereabouts because he would never hear the end of it if he came home empty-handed. He had to get this right, had to undo the unspeakable things he had said to her on that fateful day, and he had to bring her back, bring her home. Even though he had fought aliens, monstrous creatures, and broken witches and saved the universe probably multiple times (with the occasional help of others), he never feared something more than this moment.

Facing your fears and mistakes was something entirely different.

Stephen Strange had to travel through the multiverse to understand this essential part of being human. He wondered how he had survived this long.

A closing car door brought the Sorcerer back into reality, and after turning his head in the direction of the sound, Stephen stared into a familiar pair of eyes. It always astounded him how similar the Stark siblings were but so different at the same time. The man was considered exceptionally intelligent, but this… he couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

“Strange.” Stephen suspected that his appearance wouldn’t be welcomed by the older Stark – and he was dead-on right. “What are you doing here of all places? Got something muddled up with your magical, glittering GPS? I hope so because if you landed here intentionally, I’m forced to remove you off this property.” Yep, still not a fan.

The man held both his hands up in defeat. “Listen, Stark. I only came here to talk to her. Nothing more, nothing less. She deserves an apology, an explanation, anything, really. I’m not here to stir a fight because I’m not here for you, but for her.” Stephen really tried to be polite because even though Iron Man retired right after their victorious fight over Thanos, the suits were still somewhere around. He never would destroy them if his sister was here, not with the screaming red target on her back, now that she probably was the mightiest creature in the entire multiverse.

Well, she would be faster in eliminating an enemy than any of his machines.

Tony Stark scoffed and scooped up the little copy of his as soon as she ran to her father. “Your very existence is stirring up a fight, Strange. She came to this place for a reason, and the reason is called Stephen A-hole Strange.” The man was interrupted by Morgan. “What is an A-Hole, Daddy?” Tony couldn’t hide the slight grin forming on his face before shaking his head and kissing her temple. “Later, munchkin. ‘Promise.” Then, it was Stephen’s turn all over again. “She doesn’t wanna see or hear from you. She doesn’t wanna even acknowledge your existence on this planet, in this universe, and she certainly isn’t interested in anything you could let that mouth of yours escape. You hear me?”

The Sorcerer had to look elsewhere, to not crumble under the older Stark’s glare. This was a terribly bad idea, and now Stephen had to endure it in order to maybe get the love of his life back. He should’ve prepared a damn speech in advance.

“Tony.” He never called him that. “Please.” He never begged for something. “I just need five minutes with her. If she’s still that furious like she left me, you will never have to see me again because she probably kills me with her own hands. If I hurt her all over again, you can strangle the life out of me. See? A win-win situation.”

Tony had already lost after the Sorcerer’s pleading, especially after one look at his darling wife, standing outside on the patio, arms crossed and a soft expression on her face. At that moment, Tony knew he had to give in to do the right thing – and to be a role model for the tiny person on his arm.

Stephen felt a change in the air before the Stark gave him one firm nod. “You’ll get five minutes. If she starts screaming, I’ll end you. If she starts crying, I’ll end you. If she demands that you’ll leave, I’ll probably end you anyway because she went through enough to take your bullshit on top of that, wizard. Have I made myself clear?” The doctor swallowed the retort lying on his tongue – damn, that was hard - and nodded. “Perfectly clear,” he agreed and walked closer to the house.

He offered Pepper Stark a small smile. “Thank you.” It was only a whisper, barely above his breath, but he knew he would’ve never made it through Tony without her help. The redhead smiled softly and gestured around the cabin. “She is in the back, her usual spot. Tell her how you feel, and everything will be alright, Stephen. She is just as lost without you as you are without her.” She always liked him more than Tony Stark probably would ever master in his life.

But sometimes, a single person on one’s side was enough.

With measured steps, Stephen rounded the cabin’s patio to make his way down to the landing stage where the younger Stark sibling loved to sit, offside the sometimes hectic environment inside the house or to escape the buzzing city. Even now, it seems that she preferred the quiet- and calmness of the lake over the town she escaped weeks ago.

His heart pounded in his chest, trying to escape the confinements of his ribcage to either vanish and hide or to run to the woman it loved the most, to finally feel whole again. Stephen wasn’t sure which option it would be while knowing the truth deep to his core. It was strange, that thing called Love, and it still scared the living hell out of him, but as Christine in one of the multiverses had said: He must face his fears to be finally and completely happy. And maybe even a man like him deserved happiness in his life.

And then the moment was there he dreaded such a long time because it could either mean the inevitable end of everything or lead to more heartache and longing – from his side, of course. Stephen wasn’t even sure how she felt about the entire ordeal, nor what she thought about him after he had said these awful things no lover should ever yell to one another. The memory alone caused the Sorcerer to flinch violently while taking the last corner and immediately stopping dead in his tracks.

The sun rays kissed her long locks, floating in the warm spring breeze, the dark but always softly and mischievously shimmering eyes closed, while a concentrated frown graced the soft features Stephen could admire for endless hours. There was no doubt that the Sorcerer would ever get tired of her face – of her altogether. And now, after the long absence of her presence in his life, Stephen couldn’t stop staring at her in utter awe; he felt like a lovestruck teenager. Too madly in love to do anything else but stare while the tongue in his mouth got twisted, and if he dared to speak, he would never get one syllable over his lips. It was a curse, really, and it always struck the doctor within her reach, now more than ever – because now, the hero knew what rested underneath the surface of this beautiful woman.

What have I done? What on earth had pushed me to say these words that ended everything and led us here? What happened to us?

Only the stars knew the answer to these essential questions, and Stephen felt salty tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. He watched as her right hand rose from the wood of the already slowly withering landing stage, and he witnessed with wide eyes how she used the powers the Infinity Stones had gifted her. Nothing more than a flick of her hand was necessary to let the dead flowers beside her grow again, to spread their beauty along the entire edge of the lake. Except for the spot he stood on. And if that wasn’t clue enough, her voice exposed his presence.

“What do you want, Stephen?”

It sounded emotion- even lifeless and that was the ultimate trigger for his persistence to take its first breath of life in a very long time. Stephen needed her as much as she does, and he would not return to the Sanctum before she listened to him – really listened.

“I forgot that sneaking up on you isn’t an option anymore,” he smiled softly before taking one step forward. Then another one. And after that, he became bold and took the third one, just to run into an invisible wall and rubbed his nose. “Ouch.”

She only sat there, motionless, staring straight onto the glistening lake. “I don’t need these abnormal powers to hear you, Stephen. You’re louder than a grizzly as soon as you leave the city behind.” The Stark fell silent before scoffing quietly. “You’re, by the way, very welcome. I wasn’t sure if I only should let you run into a wall or if I should just shock you right away so you’ll leave me the fuck alone.” Her arms entwined around her shins to pull both legs closer to her chest. “Just leave me alone, Stephen. You damaged enough, and I’m not interested in one of your outbursts. I already have enough on my plate. I don’t need you on top of everything else. Look for someone interested in your company and the bullshit that comes out your mouth because I am certainly not available.” Yep, another Stark who dislikes me, great.

Stephen swallowed thickly, but instead of retreating, he pressed both of his scarred hands onto the invisible barrier which kept him and her apart. This barrier stood for so much more than just a physical separation, and the Sorcerer’s heart ached at the thought alone. The tears came back, and with them, Christine’s words: “Face your fears, Doctor Strange.”

Blue eyes raised to gaze over the side profile of the younger Stark, and Stephen softly called her name. Of course, she didn’t react, so he used the one thing he desperately hoped still worked because if, there would still be hope. And hope was the only thing that kept the doctor going and breathing. “My love.” Pain flooded the delicate features, and the Strange exhaled the held breath. He whispered the words again, leaning his forehead against the atmospheric barrier, but kept his gaze fully on the woman in front of him. Her hands grabbed the fabric of her flannel with a deathly grip. Soon after, she buried her face between the knees to hide the welling tears in the ocean that were her eyes.

Hope was still there.

She knew he was there as soon as the first sparks of the portal emerged in the air. She felt it within her body in which these awful powers were locked and secured and connected the woman with the vastness that was this universe. It scared the living shit out of her and constantly reminded the Stark that now she was just another abomination within the fight between Good and Evil. Perhaps it only was a matter of time until the enemies tried to get their hands on her and the powers she never asked for. But now, she had to protect them at all costs because they belonged to her, and without them, she would never be whole again; she would never be herself again, even though the thought alone of being a powerful being made her sick to the core. She never wanted to play a part in the game that was the fight in the never-ending and dangerous multiverse.

With Stephen at her back to protect each other, life seemed to work out, even though she felt like a child who had just learned to use their magic properly. But then, one fateful day appeared on the path that was her life, and the happiness vanished like the dust after Thanos erased half of the universe.

Silence settled over the Sanctum, but her mind screamed at the top of its lungs. The pain never subsided; the connection to the entire universe sucked up all the energy she could master to gather over the day and left her behind as an empty shell. The ray of sunshine that once was the younger Stark sibling died between her snap while wearing the Infinity Gauntlet and her absorption of every single atom of every single Infinity Stone.

Slow steps moved her to raise her head and look over one shoulder to see Stephen Strange approaching. She had settled down in the library, waiting for him to come home after the mission, and had been there ever since she woke up after sunrise. A tired smile forced her lips apart, and without a second thought, she took the outstretched hand to get back on her feet. Even though the armchair was the comfiest of all the interiors within the library, she just couldn’t sit any longer. The woman steadied herself with both hands on his lower arms before wiping away the tears on her cheeks, but Stephen had already noticed them.

“Is everything alright, my love?” He asked gently, cradling her delicate face in his scarred hands and wiping the remnants of tears away. The Sorcerer bowed his head to softly kiss her forehead as soon as a sob recked through the more petite body of the woman he loved. It pained him to see her like that, so much was obvious, but the Stark suspected something boiled within the man she loved. Something seemed off ever since he came back from the mission before the last one, where he had found her sitting motionless on the grand staircase leading from the foyer up to the rooms. She just hadn’t had the strength to get up and move – to live, actually. Since that night, Stephen held something back, and that seemingly wanted to escape today.

She sniffled, and with harsh movements, she erased every sign of weakness off her cheeks. “I just can’t take it anymore, Stephen. I’m this shell of my former self, I don’t recognize myself in mirrors anymore, and I just can’t. I can’t hold myself together any longer.” He had to understand. A long time ago, Stephen Strange was desperate for an answer, of an escape route to get back to his former extraordinary self, so he must see her point now. The Stark woman hoped desperately because she lived for hope and the light at the horizon, but one glance up at his handsome face, and she knew that there wasn’t any hope.

He doesn’t understand. Why doesn’t he understand?!

His hands fell from her face, landed on her slender shoulders, and squeezed tightly. “Listen carefully now. You cannot throw everything out of the window just because this one time, it gets hard. You must stay strong and push through it, no matter the cost or afford it takes. You cannot just give up without even trying.” She flinched as if Stephen had struck her with full force.

He couldn’t have said that. Never. Not Stephen, who was always worried about her, who would do anything for her, and who helped her through every dark episode of her life – until now. Out of his grasp, the Stark stepped away and eyed him with boiling anger.

“That’s rich coming from you.” She seethed the words, almost whispering them through gritted teeth. The Sorcerer cocked one eyebrow. “Excuse me?” The woman raised both hands and pushed forcefully against his chest as he dared to step closer again. “I said: That’s rich coming from someone like you.” Stephen scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t know what you mean. You talk nonsense. Really, I don’t understand anything coming from you anymore. Your words, your actions – nothing makes sense anymore. Where is the strong, sassy, intelligent, and hard-fighting woman I fell in love with all those years ago? Where did she vanish? Did she get dusted, and you were the only thing left behind? An empty shell of the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?! You... This… this shell is just pathetic.”

She flinched again, and tears full of anger rose to the surface. But she fought them back bravely because, at this moment, she swore that this man would never see a single tear of hers ever again. “Now I am the pathetic one? Do I have to remind you of your past, Stephen Strange?! Did you lose your memory while being dusted for five entire years? Did you forget what happened all those years ago in this fucking car?! Do I have to remind you again that you thought your life was over for months on end because of your fucking hands?! Because you weren’t longer the brilliant neurosurgeon Stephen fucking Strange who would have got everything he ever wanted except for the girl?! Do I have to remind you of that?! If so, we can talk about who was pathetic and who was not because I tried. I tried so fucking hard without thinking that my life was over because of something I couldn’t control. I was ready to die that day in order to save everyone – to save you! But I didn’t die. Instead, I became this thing I can’t explain nor control, and I tried to be this… this being who can feel everything within this universe and who must endure it so it can survive and live with the people it loved, but gosh.” The Stark shook her head and didn’t even know what to say now. “You know what? Whatever. I don’t care a single second longer because clearly you don’t care either.”

She swallowed dryly, pushed past him, and snatched her hand out of Stephen’s attempted grasp. “Don’t you dare. Just… leave me the fuck alone, Strange. I don’t care anymore what you are trying to say or not. This,” she gestured between the both of them, “This destroyed everything. Whatever the hell is wrong with you, get it together before nobody wants to be in your company any longer and before you end entirely alone in this universe. It’s your biggest fear, after all, isn’t it?”

And with that, the Stark just… vanished in front of his eyes. She escaped to the comfort of the seemingly only people who loved her unconditionally.

The faintest memory of this day was enough to break the woman all over again. One moment longer, and she would’ve been this close to banning him from the planet. She certainly was capable of such a thing, wasn’t she? Her powers had to be of any use because if not, what was the point in trying?

“I know I failed you.”

Admitting that Stephen Strange was wrong was something entirely new – and unexpected. Never would’ve she thought that this man could be capable of such things as self-reflection. And that was why she perked up at that, barely visible, but she listened intently to what he had to say.

The sound of a heavy sigh drifted over to where she sat on the aged wood of the landing stage, and she closed the dark eyes she had in common with her brother (who most definitely stood behind one of the lake-facing windows to observe the scene unfold).

“I failed you in the worst way possible, and I… I am sorry. I’m… I… You…” He stammered tremendously before stopping himself from taking a shaky breath. “I’m not whole when you’re not there. I’m incomplete without you by my side, not capable of doing my duties or even breathing without feeling like I have to choke on the oxygen surrounding me and filling my lungs. I… I can’t bear a life without you in it, and I feel more guilty than I could ever put into words because I never was good with those. You always found the right things to say, the right things to do, and to save me from me – and my sometimes overbearing ego.” The woman closed her eyes at those confessions, pressing the tips of her fingers against her lips to suppress the sob that tried to escape her body.

A long time had passed since she felt so much at once. So many emotions that actually were hers and not the feelings she had to endure while being awake and connected to the universe. This was human. This was how it was supposed to be. How evolution intended the humans to be.

A feeling, breathing mess.

She felt the Sorcerer’s hands moving over her conjured barrier, and with a soft exhale, she allowed him to move closer – only one step, with the border still intact. But it appeared to her that Stephen noticed the slight movement closer to her, and the woman almost felt the feeling of hope growing inside him once more.

“I am sorry for every word I said that day, for every dagger I rammed inside your heart and probably turned it in their wounds. I am sorry I destroyed your hope, and that I did not think about the possibility that you had needed a hand reaching out to you. I am so sorry, my love. If I could, I would use the Time Stone to undo the day I lost my best friend, my hold in this world, the love of my life. Fuck.”

Now she felt the teardrops rolling over the barrier as if they fell onto her cheeks and graced her skin. But then, the Stark realized that her own salty tears escaped her eyes and rolled silently down her skin. Everything hurt so much more if one was facing the past instead of running away and trying to never look back. But she was stupid to believe for only a second that she could leave Stephen back in the past because, shit, she loved this man more than her own life. She loved him so much that she would have willingly sacrificed herself if it meant that he could live after losing five entire years.

The woman prepared herself to get up, turn around, and face the man she loved and lost on the path life had foreseen for her, but the sound of steps, produced by tiny feet skipping over the wood’s ground, let her pause before even tighten a muscle. Morgan appeared beside Stephen, and the tall man looked down on the tiny human in utter surprise. Instead of running against a wall like he did only moments ago, she jumped from one side of the landing stage to the other before stopping next to her aunt.

“Daddy said I have to rescue you,” her small voice announced proudly because she had accomplished the task successfully. The Stark woman smiled up to her niece and pushed a strand of hair out of the small face. How she adored the little girl in front of her… Morgan clinged herself onto the woman, and with her little monkey securely tucked at her side, she rose onto both feet. “You rescued me. Thanks, monkey,” the witch whispered lovingly while kissing her niece’s cheeks and turning around to face Stephen Strange in all his glory.

He looked exhausted like she did as if he barely slept like she did. A good night’s sleep was nothing more than a pleasant memory, and judging by the dark circles under his shining blue eyes, he must’ve lost the ability to sleep in every position and on every surface there was. Sympathy swept through her aching body, even though there still lived rage and anger inside her, but the Stark knew that she would forgive him.

She always did.

Without even the slightest flick of her hand, the thickened atmosphere surrounding her vanished as if it had never been there in the first place. Stephen almost lost his balance entirely before finding it again and taking a small, uncertain step in the direction of the woman of his dreams. Morgan watched the scene intently – just in case her dad wanted to know anything about it. The witch knew how much the girl in her arms loved to play spy. In rare moments like these, she reminded her of Natasha. But she didn’t mind the tiny intruder because her brother would have gotten the information either through his sister directly or through his wife.

“You will never speak to me in that manner again.”

The doctor nodded violently.

“You will never hurt me that way you did back then.”

Again, tears burned in both their eyes while looking at each other, not missing a single expression.

“Never,” Stephen promised, barely above a whisper.

She took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “Okay.”

He furrowed his brows, unsure of what to do with it. “Okay?” Never had he felt this uncertain about something in his life, but the Stark nodded again and dissipated the worries written all over his face.

“I still will be angry for quite some time because this was unacceptable and cruel and nothing I would ever wish upon another human. You have to deal with it. We have to fix this. But we will because so far, we always found a way to get through obstacles similar to this.” And with that, she adjusted Morgan on her arm and stepped in front of Stephen, holding one hand slowly out for him to reach and take it. He looked dumbfounded, his eyes switching between her eyes and the peace offering that was her hand, but instead of taking it, he stepped even closer. A hand cupped her neck, and his thumb caressed her jaw in slow, soft strokes while leaning down to press a gentle kiss on her temple.

Morgan giggled happily while the Stark closed her eyes and enjoyed his close proximity after such a long time. She took another deep breath to inhale his signature scent she missed more than she could ever express.

“I will make it right, I promise, sweetheart. I will make everything right. Well, I’ll try at least.” It was unusual to hear him correct himself in an instance, and she smiled softly at that. “You’re trying, and that’s all I want or need,” was all she whispered before taking his hand in hers and entangling their fingers together. “Bring me home, Stephen, okay?”

At that moment, Stephen was entirely sure that he had never heard something more beautiful in his life, except for every I love you out of her mouth, maybe. And so, the former Sorcerer Supreme brought his Infinity Witch back to the place they called their home.

Comments, reblogs and likes are much appreciated! Lots of love and thanks for reading! If you want to join the taglist, please reach out and let me know!

#stephen strange x reader #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange imagine #stephen strange fic #stephen strange x stark!reader #doctor strange x stark!reader #stephen strange #doctor strange #sad!stephen #multiverse of madness #please be gentle with me!#first timer #you know the drill #lots of love!

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