#look the entire god damn point of the exercise

[lazulisong]

I'm very exciting to be friends with because if you worry about how your project looks I say things like "PERFECT LOOKS LIKE YOU BOUGHT IT"

#meg what is your problem #handcrafts #sewing #look the entire god damn point of the exercise #after the fun and artistic satisfaction ofc #is to let people see you have time and taste enough to make this object #and your conspicuous consumption of both plus the money to spend on supplies #I have Opinions on the visible mending thing obv #anyway nobody is going to notice but you and maybe some assholes #just have a good time

[prettyinsophie]

burning desire

Synopsis: With Abby away at some party and your body aching and asking for release, you can’t help but touch yourself while pretending it’s your roommate.

warnings: top abby x virgin (lowkey loser) reader, fingering (r receiving), mentions of strap, squirting, r gets caught by abby, sex toys.

2.9k words

a/n: i’m going to pretend this isn’t way too specific. it’s my first time posting here so im sorry in advance if there are any mistakes, english is not my first language and i wrote this in a rush bc im going insane😇

ofelia si te sale esto no lo leas‼️

There was something utterly wrong with you.

As a girl, you went through your awful womanhood cycle and all that. You never entirely understood how all of it worked, you just ovulated when you were extremely horny and wanted to either kill yourself or everyone around you when on your period. That much you knew about your own body and every other girl went through the same.

The problem was you’ve been on fucking heat for over a month.

Your hormones were a mess, the sexual frustration consumed your being and you couldn’t find a solution. You were a virgin, and quite frankly, an awkward person so it was hard for you to even initiate small talk without quickly making it uncomfortable with your lack of social skills.

You tried distracting yourself throughout the day by attending your classes, doing homework, scrolling through Tiktok, and exercising. Even if you ended up beat by the end of the day, that damn aching between your legs would not leave you alone, and you had to touch yourself to at least make it less awful.

Unfortunately, you didn’t live alone. You shared an apartment with Abby, your high school friend who so happened to get into the same college as you. You didn’t mind, of course, you liked Abby, and now that she was grown and muscular you couldn’t deny she was a total eye-snack. Thing was, you were jealous of whoever the fuck she brought to your shared apartment, Abby must be some sort of goddess if she could make girls scream like that, begging her not to stop while choking in their tears, the bed loudly creaking to the point the blonde had to buy a new mattress. You resented it. You had to settle with sex toys while she fucked almost every week.

The amount of batteries you had in your drawer was embarrassing. Every night you had to abuse your pussy while thinking it was a certain girl doing it for you, had to get good at being silent because you’d throw yourself off the window if Abby ever heard you. Your clit ended red and puffy after an hour of nonstop intimate time with yourself, your eyes swollen because the scenarios in your head were so intense you cried while thrusting a six-inch vibrator inside you, touching that sweet spot it took some time for you to master hitting perfectly until your head went numb, and you squirted all over the pink towel you covered the bed with so you wouldn’t wet the pretty covers and sheets you slept in.

You were ashamed of how filthy your fantasies were for a twenty-year-old virgin, it always hit you once you were over, panting heavily in silence while blushing because your private thoughts and desires bugged you.

You hoped it’d all end soon, that maybe your hormones were a bit crazy just because they decided so be in a silly mood. Every girl goes through shit like this. But no. God was testing you, progressively getting needier as the days passed by. Your god-awful gorgeous friend/roommate worsened it whenever you were doing your assignments at the dining table, and she came home from the gym looking so dirty and delicious, your eyes struggling to focus on your laptop screen and not the way her muscles glistened with not-fully-dried sweat and looked like the glazed donuts you loved eating as a sweet treat, the comparison didn’t make sense, but her body made you feel hungry. You were so sexually frustrated you were convinced you had gone insane.

You wished someone would approach and straight up told you to fuck. You’d accept without second thoughts. But it was the real world, as pretty as you were, you still looked awkward and shy. Fuck your life, honestly. Why couldn’t you be dauntless like the girls who flirted with Abby? Touching her biceps while twirling their hair as they looked at her with nothing but lust and confidence. They were embarrassedly bold but they got exactly what they wanted because Abby was a sucker for pretty girls like that, she loved to fuck the cockiness out of them.

You couldn’t help but think about it every day. You were pathetic, imagining how it would feel to be under her, talking you through it, making you lie there and do nothing but take her until your legs turned into jelly and make you forget all about your stupid sex toy collection hidden in a box under your bed.

Anyways.

Tonight was going to be fun. Abby told you a friend of hers would be throwing a party, subtly inviting you, but you didn’t take the hint and told her to have fun, so off she went an hour ago, leaving you alone in your shared apartment.

Eagerly and with your heart thudding, you arranged everything before jumping right into it, at this point it was just as important in your nocturnal ritual as your skincare routine. You had bought a new toy, this one being 7.4 inches and a bit thicker than your other ones, so you were a bit excited to try it, hoping the sensation would help you release more of your frustration.

With a silky pillow under your lower back, you lied in your bed and took a deep breath, your fingers slowly rubbing your clit, making you gasp softly at the familiar but delicious feeling. Your muscles quickly relaxed as you kept circling your needy button. You didn’t need much teasing, you were already wet, arousal sneaking down and making you groan because it was icky.

Lately, you didn’t rely on your hand that much, ever since you figured out the way to hit your G spot, that’s almost all you needed to come. That being said, you took the pink toy in your hand, lining it down your entrance and teasing yourself by lubing the tip of it with your arousal, imagining it was Abby’s strap and spreading your legs. You had to be quiet every time you masturbated, but you were completely alone now and you wanted to treat yourself by taking the liberty to be as loud as you felt like. Pants and whines of desperation filled your room once you started taking inch by inch of the toy slowly. There were nights you straight up wanted to release everything and go to sleep, or nights such as this, where you felt like dragging your orgasm to make it intense and mind-breaking.

“Holy shit.” You whined once the vibrator was deep inside, you closed your eyes and played start to your fake scenarios.

In your wild fantasies, Abby would tease you, keeping her strap in place while circling your clit and making you wait for her to move. So you did that. Little whimpers left your lips while imagining her talking in your ear, whispering sweet encouraging words. You could multitask with no problem at this point, it was routine. You turned on the vibrator, hips jerking at the feeling and your lips hung as you gasped. Thrusting it slowly the fantasies grew steamier, and your cheeks flushed at the sound of your voice doing all those pathetic and pornographic sounds.

It was big. When you bought it you were so cocky about it but you were actually struggling to slide it in and out smoothly, but thankfully you were so wet it only took a few minutes. And so the madness began. In your head, Abby was fucking you with her strap, your hand moving fast and aiming for your sweet spot like your life depended on it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You whimpered out loud, the buzzing toy hitting the right place inside of you while you kept rubbing your clit clumsily because it felt so good.

You wanted her. Pitiful whines getting caught in your throat when you remembered Abby was far from your apartment, far from your room, and definitely far from your bed. She was probably messing around with another girl at that party. You winced at the thought, feeling like crying as you kept abusing your pussy. Imaginary Abby would slap you and grab your chin so you’d look at her, telling you to stop drifting away from her when she’s right there with you, to not listen to those silly thoughts of yours.

Your therapist would never hear of this.

“Oh my god, Abby! Please, please, please-” You were okay with being loud at this point, whatever you usually blabbered under your breath now resonating on the walls of your room.

Sometimes you wished you had four hands so you could add a little something to your intimate sessions. You wanted to know how it would feel to have her deep inside with her big and strong hand wrapped around your neck, preventing you from breathing properly while praising you. Shit. Your hand moved faster and rougher, seeking for the most realistic sensation possible. Wanting to pretend this was the real Abby pounding into you.

You needed her. Your eyes stung with tears as your chest heaved because the toy was now at the highest setting, hitting your sweet spot oh so deliciously you were even drooling.

With your eyes squinted shut your mind went fuzzy, the scenario pausing for a moment while focusing on the familiar twisting in your tummy and reaching for your orgasm. Abby was calling your name in the distance, you were so into it for a moment you felt worried about how real it went through your ears.

“Yes, yes, yes! Right there, Abby! Plea-se-!”

Your voice cracked. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you choked weak whimpers while squirting all over the towel, so intense even the toy almost flew out of your cunt. Your legs trembled and you panted loudly, riding out your fifth climax of the week. The cold air of your room hit your bare lower body and made you groan because your slick was drying up and you hated the feeling, but you also needed time to recover before cleaning your mess.

After a few moments, you sighed and opened your eyes, slightly leaning onto your side to grab your phone on the nightstand. You froze at the figure of someone standing by your door. Your stomach dropped and you could feel your heart in your throat.

Abby was there, standing with her arms crossed while looking at you with a stare you couldn’t decipher. No. This could not be happening to you. No!

“Abby-“ You sobbed, the shame betraying you by making you cry.

“How long?” She asked, her blue eyes staring into your soul even from a further distance. Her voice lower than how she usually talks to you.

“W-What?”

“How long have you wanted me to fuck you?”

The question sent a shiver down your spine. This was definitely not how you imagined it’d play out, not in one of your thousands of wet dreams.

“A while…” You mumbled embarrassed, looking away from her. Thankfully you were only naked from the hips down to your feet, you were wearing an oversized shirt that could cover your most private parts.

Abby seemed pleased with your answer. A heavy and shaky sigh left her nose as she walked to your bed.

“And you do this every night while thinking about me?”

The question (which sounded more like a statement) stabbed your core sharply. You nodded and felt your cheeks blushing in shame.

The bed creaked when she joined you in it, getting on top of you while smirking smugly. Your pretty face was adorned with confusion and embarrassment. Lips puffy from crying and your face dampened and red.

“Poor girl. Had to hear me pleasing other girls instead of you, hm? You should’ve just said so, baby.” She comforted you, brushing her fingers against your cheek, making you shiver at the unfamiliar contact.

“Didn’t want to mess with your innocence, you’re so pure I couldn’t dare break you. That’s why I used whoever wanted to throw themselves at me, but turns out that’s all you wanted all along? Wanted me to make you cry and beg?”

Holy fuck. You thought as you were getting wet again. You almost whimpered because this was the real thing. 4D Abby was on top of you and talking dirty with her husky and alluring voice.

“Yes.”

You hated yourself so much. Just a few moments ago you were so mouthy to her in your fantasy and you couldn’t even form a sentence with the real one. Abby laughed at you as if finding you amusing.

“‘Yes’ what, pretty girl?”

This was it. You were going to go for it.

“I-I want you to…fuck me and make me scream and beg for more.” You stuttered softly, looking into her eyes while batting your lashes because you couldn’t maintain eye contact.

“Yeah? I bet I can do a better job than your toys.” She leaned down, your faces closer than you ever thought they’d get, sucking the air out of your lungs.

You yelped in surprise when her fingers went down your folds, spreading the wetness as she teased your sensitive parts. “So wet, waiting for me to read your mind and touch you, huh? Gotta use your big girl words. C’mon, tell me what you want.”

Her voice melted your brain as her fingers spread your lips, making you gasp and squirm under her. You were too shy for your own good, she knew that as well but that made this more interesting. Abby wanted to see how far she could lead you, and how much control she could have on you.

“Please touch me.” Your voice was breathy and almost weak, feeling her fingers replacing your own was too much.

She circled your throbbing clit, causing you to close your eyes and whine loudly.

“You like that?”

“Y-Yes, so so much, Abby.” Your mouth was getting loose, drunk in pleasure and your head was still dizzy from your previous climax. Abby could feel herself getting wet from your reactions to minimal touch.

Poor little thing, so touch-starved. She thought while continuing to please you.

You mumbled curses and her name under your breath. Hands gripping the covers of your bed tightly because she was the one touching you, you had no control over the speed nor the pressure her fingers had on your sensitive bud. Your legs squirmed as you spread them further so she’d position herself more comfortably between them.

“Want you inside, n-need you inside!” You begged pathetically, looking at her with half-lidded eyes.

Abby couldn’t believe this. This was too good to be true and she couldn’t wait anymore either. She kept boundaries out of respect, she knew you were a virgin and had no experience, and she didn’t want to scare you off with her deprived desires. Yet you were there, asking her with tears in your eyes to fill you up. You were so desperate she wanted to eat you alive.

“‘M gonna use my fingers, doll. Don’t wanna fuck you with the same strap I use with other girls. I’m going to get you your own, and I’m going to fuck this horniness out of you. You’ll only need me.” She whispered in your ear before shoving two of her fingers inside you, gaining a loud whimper from you.

Her fingers were thick and long, she filled you up almost perfectly you didn’t want this moment to end. Your chest raised up and down as you struggled to breathe properly. She moved them in and out, curling them expertly inside your warm walls.

“Faster, please.”

Abby knew once you two were done tonight, every time she’d hear the word ‘please’ from you would be a trigger. She wanted to tease you, drag you to the edge, but she was aware of how frustrated you felt and it was pitiful. So she let you give her orders, just this once though.

She hit it. That magnificent spot of yours that sent you to the moon. You were a moaning mess, hairs sticking to your forehead with sweat while she kept thrusting her fingers forcefully.

“Fuck, Abby! There, holy fuck.” You blabbered, your back arching off the bed, and the pillow under you helped to reach your g spot smoothly. Abby was also panting, even groaning because you were giving her a show. The things she’d do to you from now on, whew, she was going to ruin you.

“So pretty, taking my fingers so well. Want you to come all over them, doll. You think you can do that for me?”

Nodding drastically up and down, she sped up if that was even possible. Your tummy swooped and you didn’t realize you had tears running down your cheeks. Abby’s face was blurry and your eyes struggled to focus. Your hand found her bicep, clawing it with your acrylic nails as you reached the delicious bliss.

“Shitshitshit!”

Moaning Abby’s name and profanities, you came on her fingers and probably her pants as well. You kept squirting while sobbing because you’ve never experienced an orgasm like this one, your legs shaking against your will. Now you were panting, catching your breath and when you opened your eyes and met with hers, reality hit you.

You opened your puffy lips to say something, but Abby cut you off.

“Next time it’ll be my cock.”

#abby anderson smut #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby tlou #abby x reader #abby x fem!reader #abby smut #tlou2 #abby fanfiction #abby anderson fanfic

[hiraeth-sonder]

Maladroit Admirer - Rongguo

Danheng x Reader - University AU

Becoming entranced with the most plain looking guy in your tutorial classes leads to a series of very bad, not good fumbles

//So so so so enamoured with the idea of just NPC looking Danheng, short little thingy that I had to get out. Poem is  寄人 by 张泌.

别梦依依到谢家， 小廊回合曲阑斜。

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

You don’t think there’s a difference between a crush and love at this point because being in university and adamantly staring at what might be the most boring looking man in this entire sea of people certainly can’t just be a momentary attraction. Short dark hair, dark eyes, decent fashion style and in a business unit, he wasn’t anything special, and yet you just couldn’t, for the life of you couldn’t, take your damned eyes off him. 

It was ridiculous, you’ve never even spoken to him, looked at him in the eyes even, but here your heart was, pounding against your ribs begging for more. Every time you walk into that horrifically cold room, freezing your shoulders off because if you brought a jacket you’d be sweating from the journey, you see him already there at some table you won’t sit at because you’re afraid of him. Because you’re a nervous wreck and you know that if you had to talk to him during discussion, all you’d do is hum and agree and have no opinion on your own. Which, you’d like to keep some part of your dignity still, so no thank you. 

There has been no man, woman even, that has rendered you so stupid. It must be some kind of witchcraft, there was no other explanation for the grip this man had on you. 

You try your best, your absolute best, to focus on the question ahead of you, not like it was actually hard. However, seeing as you were in a small table of three, had an ethics question and you were hyper-aware of every action you made because of that damned man, you certainly weren’t at your peak performance today. 

With your table’s assigned question out of the way, the two of them went on to discuss the rest, or rather you and the person next to you since you two were the only ones who attempted the exercise. The discussion didn’t go bad, merely boring and strained seeing as you’ve never actually talked to anyone in this class, so when the exact same person asked to see your graphs. You, of course, took that as a very bad chance to make a joke. 

“Just to warn you, I bullshitted my graphs, so if they’re wrong don’t blame me,” You joked, raising your hands in mock-guile.

Somehow, some-god-forsaken-how, despite being in a room speaking at a normal conversational level surrounded by other people talking, everyone heard you. And everyone is staring at you. Great, absolutely great. Ducking your head, you pretend to type something else on your computer. You can only pray that you never see anyone in this class ever again, or have to talk to them (which wasn’t going to happen but you could pretend).

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice his eyes glancing between you and the rest of his table, a kind of vacant stare if you will. Your ears grow hot at this revelation, he must think you’re a total idiot, or a buffoon, whichever one because you might as well be all the ways you could refer to someone as stupid. How you longed to return to the cold dark earth, maybe you wouldn’t say things that made you sound like some brainless highschooler. 

By the time the tutorial ends, you’ve already debated ending it all at least three times. With your computer and singular pencil packed up, you absentmindedly head towards the exit, weaving through strewn chairs and the awkwardly placed tables. It is then you notice a familiar someone’s form standing at the door. 

Your eyes slowly shift up and who else could it be but the very man who rendered your brain mush, holding the door open and gesturing for you to go. 

You barely meet his eyes, bowing your head and quickly scurrying off, at least not before blurting out a quick “Thank you.”

With the speed of a falcon, your footsteps scamper off, hefting your heavy tote bag you now wonder why you brought. Tucking your earphones in, you try your best at nonchalance and it works, for about six steps until the tip of your shoe catches against some crack in the path and you have to walk off the even more public embarrassment. 

In the distance, he watches you trip on your own feet and your shoe almost gets stuck on the carpeted pathway. An amused breath escapes him and he wonders what exactly about you is so endearing to him. Danheng swears he has never met someone as oddly appealing even with your little fumbles, and by now he’s given up trying to figure it out. 

He’ll find some way to approach you later, when his palms aren’t trying to sweat the skin off of them and his head isn’t going at a thousand thoughts per second. He only hopes you didn’t notice his continuous staring, or the fact that his hand slipped and missed the first time he tried to grab the door handle.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

多情只有春庭月，犹为离人照落花。

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr danheng #dan heng #dan heng x reader #danheng x reader

[levanterhaze]

✧ BLUE FLAME WITH JUNGKOOK ✧

→ jungkook x reader

→ word count: 2.6k

→ your noisy neighbor has been disturbing your nights, so you decide to take satisfaction. however, there is a fine line between satisfaction and pleasure.

→ warnings: masturbation, penetration, protected sex, lot of swearing, dirty talk and sloppy sex if you're not +18 please do NOT read. (i decided to write this after watching those 2 episodes of the sex life of college girls)

It was 10:54 PM.

It was the exact moment where it all began. First, there were the grunts and soft moans, then came the screams and the relentless clatter of the headboard banging the wall. And you were fed up with it.

Every night your neighbor would get some girl and end up disturbing your night's sleep. And it was derailed how the screams progressed further and further, being able to wake up the entire building. You wondered how they managed to be so loud. It was nasty.

But today was your day off. You were curled up on your comforter in your comfiest pajamas, watching a 90s rom-com and eating an extra greasy pizza when your sex maniac neighbor started the bedlam.

And every time you tried to be friendly, not caring too much about other people's sex lives, it was impossible to hear any line from the movie with that girl screaming her lungs out on the other side of the wall.

Yes, yes, Jungkook!

Oh my god, Jungkook!

At some point, you were starting to think that this guy must be a sex god so that all girls act the same way, always, all of them. Or they just faked it every time, which to be honest, was a bit suspicious.

The headboard slamming on the wall was so loud that you had to move your bed to stop yours from swaying too. Damn thin wall. The screams continued and it seemed that the girl was coming to an exquisite and long orgasm.

You walked up to the wall and threw two punches as if they’d hear over all those moans. “Can you be fucking quiet? Jesus."

Realizing you weren't going to be able to finish your precious movie, you just decided you'd better grab a coat and change and go for a long walk until the whole thing is over.

The next morning you heard giggles coming from the hallway and guessed the neighbor's girl was leaving. It was nearly seven in the morning, the time for you to go to the gym before work. Lucky that your condo has a private gym that residents could access for free.

No one was using it at the time, so you took the opportunity to do your routine exercises. Until a slender figure, dressed all in black and tattoos, appeared in your peripheral. You knew it was him, your neighbor. You happened to see him coming into his apartment the other day.

But dammit, he was really…attractive?

He gave a gentle good morning grin, revealing his lip piercing.

Jesus Christ.

You did the same, out of politeness. However, it was the ideal time to go up to him and finally tell him that he was bothering all your nights with that insane sex screaming that came from his house. You schemed how you would say it, as it's not a very nice subject and you had no other way of saying it than directly.

Jungkook was choosing some music on his phone when you slowly approached.

"Hey. You're Jungkook, right? I'm your neighbor."

"Hey. I know."

Does he know? All right, whatever.

“Look, I don't know how to say this properly, so I'll just say it. You are very noisy. Look, I understand that you love sex and you do it constantly but the wall is really, really thin. So I would really appreciate it if you could… You know…?”

You had no idea how your face felt, but you could feel the burning in your cheeks and the extreme sweat on your hands. You hate being put in uncomfortable situations where you have to step out of your comfort zone and deal with unpleasant things.

But that was a problem that needed to be settled.

Jungkook's lips draw a thin line as he bit back a smile, you can tell.

“Oh, okay. Can you lend me your phone?”

You blink a few times, wondering if you've misunderstood.

"Sorry?"

"Your number. That way you can let me know if I'm too loud."

He can't be serious.

You realize then that he is indeed being sincere when he reaches out for your phone. And you just hand him the device, being slightly distracted by the dozen drawings painted over his arm muscles.

“Thanks, I guess.” You hold the phone back and try to ignore his glare and that slutty smile that spreads across his lips when you drift away.

Almost two weeks passed and, incredible as it may seem, your neighbor seemed to have come to reality, because the insane noises had ceased for good. And you were even a little surprised, for a person who did that every day, going almost fifteen days without having sex, it seemed like a grand slam.

It was late at night and you were exhausted after working an eight-hour shift. Your friend had called to share some news about a date she had gone on extremely badly.

Until your nightmare started again.

"What the fuck? Are you watching porn while talking to me?” Your friend's voice was grossed out.

“It's my stupid neighbor. I swear to god, he’s a sex maniac. This is not normal."

"At least he is hot?" Your friend asks and you think too quickly about those muscles pressed by the black shirt. Thick, well-defined thighs in the shorts he'd been wearing to the gym. The broad shoulders… “Never mind. What will you do?"

“I'm going to stop him or call the police or something. I'll be right back, I'll call you later."

"Good luck."

"Thanks. I'll need it."

This time you were determined to make a fuss if possible. You could hear his groans from behind the wall and it was insane. You just wanted to close your eyes and go to sleep, without having to think about your extremely hot neighbor having sex right next to you.

You put on a robe and left the house. There were two loud knocks on the door and a long wait for Jungkook to answer the door. And honestly, you wish you hadn't. Because he looked like a Greek god with his long hair falling into his eyes, his shirt a little open, and his sweatpants hanging awkwardly on narrow hips.

Right. Focus. You're here for a reason.

“Good night, neighbor.” He beams sweetly, exposing the piercing, and you almost gulp strongly because he's too good-looking to be true.

“You’re doing it again.”

"Doing what?" He frowns, pretending to be baffled.

"You know very well." You point the finger at him. “I just want you to tell your friend to be quieter.I just want to sleep.”

“So I disturbed your sleep?”

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" He tongues his cheeks. “And what are you going to do about it?”

You didn't want to admit it, but an absurd heat rose in your body, spreading mainly between your legs.

“I could call the cops.” You cross your arms, trying to dismiss the flaming feeling in your body.

“Sounds like a plan.” He smiles and then looks over his shoulder. “Or you could come in.”

"In your house? With someone in there? Why on earth would I do that?”

Jungkook scowls, this time really looking stumped.

“There’s no one here.”

Oh.

Oh.

He seems to be amused by his accomplishment. “I should go back and…”

“I have good wine. You look tense. And I owe you an apology.”

OK. Wine sounds good. And you really were tense and it was because of him. And he really owed you an apology. You analyzed the situation for a few seconds before deciding that it was okay. If he really wanted to apologize, you could at least listen to him, that wouldn't hurt.

The interior of Jungkook's apartment was very clean and tidy. He appeared a few seconds later with two glasses of wine and indicated the sofa so you could both sit down. Inside, you were feeling a little bad because he was alone and the sounds you heard… That was a little too intimate.

"Then. Wine. Now the apologies.”

He drinks down his wine and then looks at you curiously.

“You missed something.” Jungkook stares at you earnestly. “You’re still tense.”

You gulp down the wine quickly, trying to disguise how sweaty you were by the way his eyes stared at you. "I’m fine. Thanks for the wine. I really need to go.” You get up quickly, but Jungkook follows you to the door.

“Or you could stay.”

He leaves the glass on the table and approaches slowly. You try to focus on his face and not that sinewy body walking towards you.

"And why would I do that?" Your voice comes out as a tired whisper.

Jungkook moves even closer and you shudder as you feel his warm breath blow over your skin. “Because you’re also disturbing my sleep.”

Fuck.

Your breathing is so shallow it's embarrassing. Your heart beats a mile a minute in your chest and you know he's noticed how much you're giving in to his charm, like magnetism. And the wine seems to loosen you up, untying all the tangles that bound your body, taking the tension out of every muscle at once.

And you feel so vulnerable. Your body is craving for his touch because your mind wanders on outrageous thoughts of Jungkook thinking about you while… It's crazy. You've always been so tired, not enough time to have a good night of casual sex, that maybe you could enjoy it. Just once.

You throw your sanity to hell and grab Jungkook's face just to kiss him. His arms envelop you deliciously and the world seems to burn with a burning desire in a blue flame. His lips are greasy and he tastes divine, the wine mixing with his essence so deliciously that you wail into his lips.

He helps you out of your robe and you can see it in the dim light as his pupils dilate at the sight of that stupid skimp nightgown, you're wearing. His hands are agile and large and you gasp as his thumbs graze the sides of your breasts and his body pushes you to the edge of the table. Jungkook slides between your legs, cupping your face and moving his lips down to your chin and then your neck.

“Jungkook…” You roll your eyes as his tongue wriggles across your skin, painfully crawling to your throbbing spot.

“Wanna taste you.” He whispers into your skin. “Wanna feel you so bad, baby. Fuck."

And you don't look out for the fact that your legs are parted so he would do anything to you. You were already sure you were past the shame stage and the alcohol was helping that aspect.

He continues kissing your skin as he squeezes your thigh and lifts the narrow fabric of your nightie to your waist. You hold back a loud sob when he touches you right where you want him. Then, Jungkook groans into your skin. “You're dripping. God."

And that was embarrassing, but what the hell. He shoves the fabric aside and you clasp the cloth of his shirt as his skin makes contact with yours. Jungkook looks at you, your brows are wrinkled and your lips are parted. It's quite a sight. He thrusts his fingers inside you, enjoying how easy it’s to slide inside you.

"Shit." You pull him closer. You spread your legs even wider, feeling your body gain immediate weakness. He touches you so unhurriedly as if he wants to see you suffer and it's nice and painful at the same time. "More."

“Need more?” He reaches until there’s no space left. And as much as he's fascinated by the sight of your pussy taking his fingers so hungrily, it's your face he focuses on. He kisses you clumsily, licks you, and sucks on your lips like he's starved for it. And he was. For you.

Your forehead sticks to his chest, hiding the rest with every eye roll. You drag him tight by his shirt, biting your lip to keep from moaning the loudest you've ever wanted to moan in your life. “Jungkook.” A restrained groan escapes your lips.

"I want to hear from you." He slows down and you look up in disbelief. “Let me hear you.”

“Please…” You plead softly, but he ignores it. Shit. "Harder, please!" Your voice comes out much stronger and he does exactly what you ask.

With his mouth, he trails kisses to your breasts and tugs at the fabric with his teeth until it falls gracefully across your shoulders, exposing your rawest skin. And his tongue devours you. He plays with your breasts, nibbles on your skin, and drives you wild.

You're almost there, your hips undulating quickly to maintain more touch.

You wanted more. You need more.

“Jungkook.” And he seems to understand your darkest desires because he pulls out a condom from God knows where and you're not surprised to see how hard he is, ready to ruin you.

Your feet are on the edge of the table and he's flattening your stomach, making you lie down.

“Shit, you’re so fucking hot.” He caresses his cock with one hand and your clit with the other, in equal rhythms. Your back arches with delectable friction and you think you're going to come right then and there, but he amazes you when he enters you. “So damn good for me.”

"My God!" You cry involuntarily and make your body shake.

His hand is pressing down on your stomach, but he's still touching your sore clit with his thumb, very slowly. He looks for your eyes to see if he can go faster and you don't hesitate to approve immediately.

He moves like a god. Hips crushing your skin, the sound of skin hitting skin. Nimble fingers traveling over your breasts. Your leg going up on his shoulders. Jungkook's long hair is damp and falling over his forehead. The tattooed arm presses you deliciously. It all felt like a lucid dream.

His whines are melodic and it makes you even more turned on knowing that he’s worshiping every moment of it just as you are. He hammers his hips harder, teeth clamping down on his lip until the skin’s whitened. There's a small crease in his forehead and you feel he's as close as you are.

You move your hips against him as much as possible, feeling that intense fire burns every cell, every inch of your body from the inside out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jungkook cries, squeezing the edge of the table tightly as he lunges faster and faster, barely able to withstand the clench of your pussy on his cock

“I’m gonna…” You swallow hard, your voice cracking.

"I got you. Cum for me.”

And like magic words, your body convulses underneath Jungkook's body. Orgasm hits you hard, arching your back and melting your brain to jell-o. Jungkook lays down, licking your neck and then smooching your lips, making you devour erotic mutters in a hot, slippery kiss. He groans huskily and pleasurably in your ear and you pull his hair once more, just to end the kiss.

You're both sweaty and out of breath. He's still up and inside you. He is everywhere. The hickeys on your skin, the marks on your body, and the electrifying orgasm he just gave you.

“So…” Jungkook lifts his head, brushing the hair past your face. "Wine. You’re no longer tense. Do I still owe you an apology?”

You stare into those doe eyes and a laugh reverberates in your chest.

“I think we're good.”

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagines #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #kpop smut #jeon jungguk #jungkook fic #jungkook x y/n #bts #bts imagines #bts smut #smut reading #jjk smut #jjk x you

[daughterofcain-67]

𝕽𝖆𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝕭𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉 (𝔭𝔱.8)

(Dean Winchester x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Crowley makes Dean an offer, and unfortunately things go sideways. Crowley believes that perhaps Dean doesn’t know whether he wants to be a demon or human. You begin to wonder if Dean’s soul was still in tact after death after all, and thus you wonder if that is what’s causing Dean to become conflicted. What will become of the remnants of Dean’s soul if he continues on this path?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of murder, abusive moment from Demon Dean in the reader’s vision. May not be suitable for all audiences.

You and Dean made it to another hotel sometime last night and naturally, Dean’s first stop was at the local bar. It was predictable at this point but you didn’t really care anymore as long as Dean was happy with where he was for the time being.

In the beginning, Dean was happy. Then there was another issue with Sam that came up. Some guy thought that he could use Sam as bait to try and lure Dean out of hiding. But it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t going to stand for it. So he told the guy that he could shoot Sam all he wanted because whatever trouble Sam is in now, that was his responsibility.

Anyway.

Earlier, Dean went to some strip club and he was having a good time watching this exotic dancer swing her hips around a pole to Cherry Pie. God she was good and he could imagine so many things the two of them could do. Rather than be a good dancer, however, by taking his cash, she was being a bitch and evidently the security guard decided he wanted to get involved.

So now here Dean was, walking out of the bar with bloodied knuckles that he was cleaning off with his jacket only for Crowley to show up out of nowhere. Naturally.

“Oh Christ, what do you want?” Dean asked and looked at the demon.

“We need to talk about your little anger issues you’ve got going on, Squirrel. Come with me for a walk.”

“Really? This again? You and Y/N know I’m not a temperamental child, right? So what if I beat up a few guys here and there. It’s not like the authorities have caught us yet. So what’s the issue?”

“Y/N’s gotten onto you again?”

“No, but I know it’s only a matter of time before she tries to talk me out of some shit. She blames it on me being new to this demon thing, bein’ a rookie. I’ve had issues long before I became a demon and I handled them just fine, just like I am now so you both need to get off my damn back.”

“Just hush and come with me for a drink. We can talk more in depth about this when we’re in doors.” Crowley insisted and Dean rolled his eyes.

Then Dean’s mind drifted to you.

You had been by his side through this entire process of the mark changing him to become more and more of a demon, yet you didn’t have to be. This process wasn’t easy for him whether he cared to admit it or not, but you were patient with him. Maybe more patient than Crowley was.

Dean, well now that Crowley stopped sending his demons for “exercising” his use of the mark, he was trying not to kill so much. With that came the urges and the pent up rage he felt since he hadn’t been killing. Dean was trying his best to keep his cool, keep things under wraps as best as he could to at least show you he was trying.

Then there were just those moments where Dean snaps and once he gets one punch in, he starts to get overboard. He’s lost control with many security guards at different strip clubs and, or, bars these days.

Speaking of bars, he and Crowley found one that Dean didn’t beat a guy or two in. When they both walked in, they sat down and Dean placed an order. He just wanted a couple of shots but he knew Crowley well enough by now to know that he wanted something on the fancier, maybe a bit girlier side, with a tiny umbrella or two.

“So.. how are you feeling? On edge? Pent up? Unfulfilled?” Crowley asked and dean lifted a brow.

“I know I’m up there in age but I didn’t sign up for a viagra commercial. Y/N certainly hasn’t complained.” Dean replied with a smirk, causing Crowley to cringe.

“You two did what!?” He asked and he shook his head, “I didn’t ask for that kind of information.” The King of Hell said and pinched the bridge of his nose causing Dean to chuckle.

“Just the one time.” He said and the bartender came back with the drink and Dean’s shots.

“No, this isn’t about ‘little Dean’ or your.. extra curricular hobbies with the Mistress of Murder. I can’t believe I even said that.”

“Moving on.”

“Right, well.. It’s about the mark. It’s changed you.” Dean rolled his eyes and let them turn black as he looked at Crowley again.

“Yes, I’ve gathered that. It’s not news anymore.”

“I know you want to have all the fun you can though, party till you drop and all of that jazz. Live it up until Sam or whoever finds a way to take those black eyes away from you and what not, but the fact is this: You need to kill. Now.” Crowley said.

“What, did Y/N get a hold of you or something?”

“She’s been monitoring you and keeping me updated for your benefit, yes. She told me that she’s noticed you getting more uptight since I stopped letting the demons go after you.” Crowley continued and watched Dean take one of his shots.

“You heard it from Y/N herself that using that mark gives you a high. Murder is your drug, death is your favorite poison. And at this rate you’ll be spending the rest of your eternity to find it. Did she talk to you about working for me in your… negotiations?” Crowley asked.

“No, she left that out. Which I would have refused anyway since it’s coming from you and I don’t need much more monitoring when it comes to stuff like this.” Dean said and rolled his eyes.

“Okay, well I had the idea for you to, well… kill for me. It’s an offer you can’t refuse because it will keep your addiction from over taking you. I want you to kill for us. I know you can’t take much more waiting on who to kill next, so the question is are you going to kill some poor bastard on the side of the road, or someone who has it coming?”

Dean lifted a brow. If you knew about this, why hadn’t you told him? Did you not know the details of this little idea of Crowley’s?

“Who do you think has it comin’ huh?”

“Look at who you’re talking to, I’m a business man and I’ve got plenty of clients that would sell their souls to kill people in order to get what it is they want.” Crowley began.

“I’ve got a guy named Lester who sold his soul to kill little miss Mindy, a cheating wife who wanted a divorce but Lester wants to keep everything he has. I’ve got a girl for you to kill named Bethany - Catrina, her former best friend, said Bethany stepped on her heart and left her behind because she chose the lover, Alexander, over their decade long friendship. I’ve got another man on our hit list named Sean, his wife wants a divorce to run off with a high school sweetheart who happens to be the handy man, but she doesn’t want to split their funds so she thinks murder is the best option. That’s just to name a few. You can take your pick.”

Dean listened to the list, “Listen, they’re gonna die one way or the other. So why not take the chance and feed your little beast?”

“Fine. Let me take care of the Bethany and the Catrina thing. But just so we’re clear… this is a one time gig, got it?”

After that, Dean left the bar. He was eager to get a kill out of the way, but he wanted to know what you had to say about it first, if you knew the details of Crowley’s little proposal.

You were in the hotel room that you and Dean were sharing and you were watching some shitty tv show. The last thing you heard from Dean was that he was going to some strip club. Not really much of a shocker for you since he seemed to be able to thrive off that kind of entertainment.

You were just watching an episode of NCIS, thinking of all the different ways you could have gotten away with whatever murder was happening in their case. To you it was like there was always something the perp messes up.

The door of the hotel room opened and when you looked up, you saw Dean walking through the door and you noticed his bloody knuckles first, causing you to sit up from the mattress.

“Let me guess. Another security guy?” You asked as you waved your hands to make the blood on his hands disappear.

“Yeah.”

You hummed a little as you got up and went to the fridge. You opened it up and got a couple of beers for the both of you and you tossed a can to him before sitting on the corner of the bed.

“What’s with you? You’re quiet.”

“Crowley came for a visit of sorts after I beat up the guard.” Dean opened the can and took a sip.

“Oh yeah? What’d he have to say this time after the obvious, ‘I say, Squirrel. Your anger issues are out of control’ routine he gives you?” You asked, watching him smirk a little at your shitty Scottish accent to mock the other demon.

“Just that he knows I’m on edge.” You heard him begin as he leaned his back against the chair he was sitting on.

“Care to elaborate? Or are you going to be all stubborn and make me pull teeth for info?” You asked and Dean chuckled.

“He said he talked to you about telling me to work for him. Asked me if we discussed it in our… negotiations as he put it.” You smirked a little when you recalled your method of negotiating with Dean. It was definitely an interesting time you had to admit.

“He mentioned something about that, but I didn’t know any details. And frankly, you and I were too busy to really discuss more outside of you at least trying to hold back a bit at least for the time being until we have a solution.”

“Well, Crowley thinks he has some kind of solution… he wants me to kill for him, on behalf of those bastard that sold their souls to kill someone because they think it’ll benefit them somehow.” Dean answered and you opened your can of beer before laying down on the mattress again.

“Huh… well what did you tell him?”

“I told him that I’d take one of his cases but it would only be a one time thing. I’m not gonna be his bitch.”

You smirked a little to yourself, “Would we expect anything less from you?” You waited for a response but there was nothing. You looked over at him and saw him looking down at the First Blade he continued to carry with him.

“What is it?”

“One of the cases… it seems off. The scumbag that made the deal has it coming first instead she wants to take someone else’s life.” His response interested you. You thought that for sure that with the state he’s in now, a kill was a kill, no matter how guilty or innocent.

“Well, what’s the deal?” You asked.

“This girl named Catrina…. Her and her former little bestie or whatever were close or what have you. But apparently her friend, Bethany, or whatever ghosted Catrina and left for Alexander. Guess she preferred the meat package rather than her friend and Catrina or whatever got jealous.” Dean said.

“O..Kay? Well, what seems off about that? It doesn’t seem like that much of a big deal.” You said.

“Well, Crowley told me that Catrina isn’t exactly that wholesome. She shouldn’t really play the victim because she was bangin this Alexander guy so I think she just ants to kill Bethany to get Alexander all to herself.”

“Is that something against some code you have? A kill’s a kill and I don’t think it’s a smart move to mess that up no matter who’s more guilty.”

“It’s just.. I want the kill to be someone worth killing. I don’t want to work for some bastard or some bitch that thinks they’re holier than thou or they want to play the victim.”

This got more and more interesting the more he spoke. You wondered that if he was rationalizing his kills, maybe he did have some sort of morality left in him.

And if that was the case… did that mean Dean still had some of his soul left? If he did, how damaged would his soul be after dying and becoming human?

“Well you’re being awfully quiet this time around.” The hunter said and you shrugged.

“I get what you mean. If the kill is worth it, the high lasts a little longer and the urges are at bay a little than with some demon or even an angel.” You agreed, having been there.

“So you think I should kill the girl that made the deal?”

“Well no. The girl she made the deal to kill may have deserved it from her point of view too. But it’s ultimately up to you on who’s life you choose to take.” You said.

“However, I think it wouldn’t be smart to try and double cross Crowley and screw up the deal. After all he is a businessman.”

“He’s just another demon. As long as he gets a soul, what’s the big deal?”

“Maybe the fact that a deal is a deal and when a human makes a deal it automatically secures the contract on who gets the soul?” You reminded.

“I don’t know the so call ‘legalities’ of it all, but if the deal is broken by either party, Crowley may not get the soul.”

“You think I actually care about if he gets a soul or not? He only made this offer to me so I could kill somebody.” Dean said, you could tell he was starting to get aggitated.

You didn’t know what he would ultimately decide to do, but you had a feeling that it would be the exact opposite of what you advised him to do. You didn’t blame him for having that rebellion towards Crowley and you knew that Dean wouldn’t want to work with Crowley even if this little idea of his went well. Even if Dean did do everything right, you knew it likely wouldn’t be a permanent solution to Dean’s problems.

“Well whoever you decide to use that blade on, just be tactful and don’t get caught.” You sighed a little.

“You mean you aren’t going with me?”

“To be fair, Crowley offered this chance to you. You’ve had a lot pent up and it’s about time you get your release some how before you blow up on someone else. You’re strong and it’s only a matter of time before you beat some poor security guy so bad the he won’t be able to get back up.” You said.

“So? That doesn’t mean you don’t get to come along.” Dean said and you shook your head.

“You go on, I wouldn’t want to be in the way this time around.” You insisted as you glanced over at Dean who was looking at you with some kind of skeptical expression.

“Whatever you say.” He sighed before he got up from his seat. He threw his now empty can of beer away before he grabbed his jacket, then you watched him look at you. You wondered what was going through his mind at the moment.

“Oh don’t worry, Honey, I’ll be fine. Make sure you’re back for dinner.” You joked and Dean rolled his eyes before he walked out of the door.

You got up and you looked out of the window and you watched him get into his Impala. Hoping that he would get his head on straight for this kill so he wouldn’t get himself into trouble, you decide to lay back down once more. Your head was resting on the pillow and you let yourself drown into the thoughts of your mind before your eyes closed.

Dark, darker, yet darker the scene grows in your mind until you are surrounded by nothing but black. Then a red light begins to beam. It’s a small amount of light but it interests you enough to walk towards it. When you did, you’re blinded for a moment before your senses are overwhelmed with the stench of sulfur and iron.

You opened your eyes and you see yourself on a beach like you’ve never seen before. A beach of horror and death really as the ocean was nothing but crimson colored liquid you’ve been covered in more than you like to admit. A literal ocean of blood. The sand was white, mixed with sulfur and you assumed it was remnants of whatever demons you’ve killed in the past and even present. The sky above you was an ugly, morbid grey, perpetual cloudiness that would always hide the warmth of the sun or the coolness of the moon.

There were no signs of life for miles as you walked alone the gory shore. There were no animals, whatever floral life around you was also grey and dead. It was a depressing kind of place really.

Then, along the horizon as you walked you began to see a familiar figure. It was the familiar hunter that you had been traveling the road with. His clothes were stained with blood, hands red, but instead of that sinister grin that this new Dean had, the expression on this Dean’s face was sorrowful. He was muttering something incoherent and as you walked closer you could hear him.

“What have I done? They’re all dead because of me. It’s all my fault.”

“Dean? What are you talking about?” You dared to ask.

He looked over at you, his forest green eyes held so much sorrow. He seemed to gave bags under his eyes as if he’d lost weeks of sleep and you could tell he had some sort of immense weight on his shoulders.

“I never wanted it to come to this. I should have never gotten this mark.”

“You did what you had to do. You had to kill Abaddon. You tried your best to beat Metatron and now he’s defeated. Castiel has him held captive.” You reminded.

“That’s not what I mean…”

You watched as Dean looked away from you, then he held out his hand and parted the scarlet waters and it revealed so many bodies. The bodies of the vessels demons and angels used, the human bodies left behind that he’s killed without a second thought. You could see the bodies of those that he loved like Kevin the prophet. You saw more bodies of people he must’ve known even before he met you. There was a mother and daughter holding hands in their dead state. You saw his father, John Winchester. You saw other men and women he knew and loved that he felt so guilty for.

“You didn’t kill all of these people… some, yes. But there is a difference between murder and what happens in war.” You said

“Cain thought that I was worthy of the mark. He thought I was worthy to have it. I may be a skilled fighter and a killer but… I never wanted to be who I’ve become now.”

“What do you mean?”

“My vessel is fighting to be a full demon. I don’t want to be that person. I never wanted any of this to happen and I know where my story will end if I continue down this path…”

When Dean closed up the sea of blood once more, he extended his hand elsewhere and you could see red smog beginning to form. It started circling and growing thicker, the red turning darker until it became black. You watched the circle of smoke continue to whirl almost like a tornado until it finally dissipated to nothing.

What was left behind was heartbreaking. It was Sam, laying on a marble slab of some sort. His eyes were opened yet lifeless. His body had been butchered by an axe. His blood pooled around him, skin was already pale and lips purple and he looked stiff as if he was already in rigor mortis.

“All he did was try and help. He was right… I should have listened.”

“Oh quit being such a damn sissy.” The second voice sounded just like Dean.

In the distance, you saw a man holding the very axe that killed Sam. It was Dean in his demonic state with a smirk on his face. His hair was thicker and he certainly looked healthier than the human Dean. “You’re pathetic with him around, Sam was always in the way of your true potential.”

“Sam doesn’t know just how alive this condition makes me feel. I’m happier now than I’ve been in years!”

“But how much of it is real, huh? How long can you go around in bars before you accept the monster you are?!” The human Dean shouted and pulled out his demon blade.

“Oh you think you’re in the right state to fight me? All you do is mope around in your depression and self loathing. Me? You call me a monster, but I call myself complete and without any attachments holding me back. Killing Sam was the best thing I’ve ever done for us and you know it.” The demon replied.

You wished there was some way for them to coexist but you knew deep down there was no way that it could happen. Once a demon, always a demon. At least to the extent of your knowledge.

“Sam didn’t deserve to die like that! He should have been old and grey and had a life of his own! He should have never been a hunter in the first place. The kid was going to college before I pulled him into this mess in the first place!”

“Oh now you’re making me want to use this pretty axe to mess up that face. It’s a shame that it would be as pretty as mine if you slept more.” The demon chuckled and started walking towards the human.

“I’d like to see you try and kill me.” You could hear the human Dean say and your eyes widened as the fight initiated between the two of them.

When the two of them fought, you saw a third figure. The same man with the longish, unruly hair and salt and pepper beard. The face of the man that told you to accept the invitation from Sam and Dean to get you wrapped up in this mess in the first place. Cain motioned for you with his head to follow him into the dead trees.

Your brows narrowed as you decided to follow Cain whole the two Deans fought themselves to the death.

“He’s losing his grip.” You could hear Cain say.

“What does it matter to you? You were the one that gave him the damned thing. You caused this and you know that he was going to go through something like this!” You said, brows narrowing.

“It’s amusing that you’re angry now. When we first spoke you seemed so indifferent.”

“So I may have learned some things. Big whoop. Now how the hell did you get over this phase? Everyone knows you were a human before you became a demon. How did you learn to subside those urges and become less of a dick like other demons are? You fell for Colette and she convinced you to stop killing. How did you get to the point where you can actually listen to her?”

“You overestimate me, Y/N. I was in the spot Dean is in right now and I was in that spot for years.” Cain said and he walked to you.

“Tell me, though. Are you having fun with the new Dean? He’s not wrong about being happier. He’s got a weight lifted off his shoulders and doesn’t have a care about anyone or anything in the world. He’s the perfect killing machine and Crowley is not wrong for having someone like that help him make Hell what it once was. And Crowley isn’t wrong for wanting you to help him.”

“You know I never want to go back there. I don’t care if Hell falls apart or not. I can get what I want here just as easily as torturing should Abaddon forced me to kill in Hell.” You said.

“But you’re losing that urge. That’s the difference. Even without the consumption or injection of human blood, you’re becoming more and more like your father.”

“Even if I am, that doesn’t help Dean’s case. How can we get him to the point where you and I are now. You and I are still demons and we both have learned self restraint. You didn’t answer me on how you did it.”

Cain sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“You want to know how I did it? Here it is…” He said before he leaned in and whispered something into your ear so that neither of the Deans could hear if they were close by.

“You really think that could work?” You asked and he held out his arms before saying, “It’s what worked for me for a while.”

“Now that you know, the choice is yours and how to handle it. You know as well as the other demons of hell that Sam is looking for Dean. He’s tortured and killed demons just to find Dean and to no avail, obviously. You know Sam will never stop and if he doesn’t, that demon Dean may be right and he may kill his brother just as I killed mine.”

With that last thing in mind, Cain disappeared and you sighed.

When you walked back out, you saw that the demon Dean had beaten the human to a pulp and your eyes widened. With one last blow, the demon beheaded the human with the very same axe he used to kill his brother. Then he turned to you with his eyes an onyx black.

You could feel your heart racing in your chest as he walked towards you with the axe. He held it up as he asked you, “So.. what did dear old Dad tell you, Sweetheart?” He asked.

The tone of his voice made you sick to your stomach. It felt like he was planning at least ninety nine ways to kill you on the spot. “Just reminiscing with Cain on how he was in the same spot you were in before you killed your human self.” You said, trying to keep your tone calm.

You watched as Dean raised his hand and struck your cheek so hard you had to step back. When you looked up at him, you never thought he would strike you after all you’ve been through, “You really think you can lie to me? You’re about as transparent as a glass. I know you’re thinking of saving whatever humanity’s left.”

You took out the blade that you carried around with you and when you were going to use it, Dean wrapped his hand around your throat and pinned you up against one of the dead trees.

“This isn’t you and you know it, Dean.”

“You don’t know a damned thing.” Then he squeezed tighter around your neck, cutting off your air supply. You lifted your hands to try and pry his grip off your neck but to no avail.

“And if you ever double cross me… I’ll kill you in the real world just like I’m about to do here.” Dean said as he dropped the axe, knowing it wouldn’t kill you. Then he took the First Blade and he used it to slice your torso from groin to sternum. The worst part was that he had a sickening grin throughout all of it.

And for you.. everything went black

You woke up with a gasp and you flipped down the sheets and padded yourself down. You were alive. There wasn’t a wound on you. You were alive and Dean hadn’t killed you after all.

“About bloody time you woke up.” You heard Crowley say and you looked up at him, sitting up all of a sudden.

“You know, I really don’t appreciate the sudden appearances.” You rolled your eyes. Then you noticed the heavily displeased look on Crowley’s face, causing you to groan.

“What did he do?”

“Are you kidding me!? What didn’t that bastard do!? He killed my client so now I won’t be able to get the soul! He had the audacity to push me around like nothing in front of my servants! And he had the Gaul to tell me he would do whatever he wanted to do!” You let the demon ramble on.

You sighed, not at all surprised that Dean would make the wrong choice. “Why does he always feel the need to make the worst decision possible?” You asked to yourself, lifting a hand to rub your temple since you could practically feel the upcoming migraine.

“So what exactly happened? What did you say to him?” You asked Crowley and you got up from the bed, trying not to think too much about that vision or dream you just had.

“I told you. Dean came in the bar when I was being filled in by my underlings. I asked Dean how the job went and he told me that he killed my client instead of the designated victim!” He began and you pulled your hair up into a bun, listening.

“I asked him what he thought he was doing, he said whatever he wanted to do. And you know what I told him? I told him that I don’t think he knows what he wants.” He continued, and you lifted a brow.

“If he was really a demon, he would have done what he was told. He would have killed the designated victim without a second thought. He wouldn’t have had a preference if he were a full demon. I mean, even if Catrina was more of a bitch for her end of the whole ordeal, she was still a client who’s soul I lost because Dean can’t listen to an order! I even threatened the idea that he may have felt sorry for Bethany. If he had felt bad, then maybe he’s more human after all except he’s got those pretty black eyes of his and he’s working alongside you and me.”

“Is this rant over? He’s still new to this thing. You knew deep down this would be more challenging than you thought. Cain didn’t always kill the first person he comes across either.” You reminded.

“All I’m saying is that he needs to pick a damned side!” He said and you hummed a little.

“He thinks he’s all big and bad now that he’s partially a demon and has that mark. Everything I’ve done is for him and this… this is how he thanks me?! By killing my client and threatening me since I told him to pick a side? He thinks he can kill me if I make some kind of move, like he has the upper hand on him!”

“To be fair, he does have the upper hand. You haven’t had too much experience fighting on the field so he’d definitely beat you and even kill you.” You replied point blank.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Hey, you were the one that decided to have him tag along with you. Plus, you’ve never had the best relationship with the Winchesters so I don’t see why you keep treating him like a best friend. A best friend wouldn’t treat you like Dean has.” You reminded and Crowley went silent for a moment.

“He said he wasn’t my ‘bestie’ and I get that. I don’t know why I try with him. All he said was that if he wants a kill, he’ll call. But with this last job I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”

“So I’m gathering you basically broke up with Dean? Why did you come here to bitch to me about your issues if you two are done.” You asked, causing Crowley to shrug a little and as he went to go out of the door.

“Consider it a caution. Those Winchesters can’t be trusted. And at this rate, I’m considering giving Moose a call.” He said.

“That’s the move you’re planning on making? Damn if you wanted Dean to kill you that badly why didn’t you just tell him to kill you?”

“It was nice talking to you too, Y/N. But seriously. If you want to save your skin, either call Sam and tell him where Dean is, or walk away.” After that, Crowley walked out of your hotel room door.

You sighed but you had to admit that all of this was something to think about along with that vision you had. Something had to be going on with Dean. Maybe he wasn’t sure what he truly wanted after all.

Some hours went by and you started to think about some things. What if Crowley was right and Dean couldn’t get a grip on himself? What if turning him over to Sam was the best way?

If they could change Dean back into a human, all you could think about was that vision. What would happen to Dean if he was human again? What kind of a toll would that take on Dean if he remembered everything he did as a demon? How much guilt would he have on his shoulders?

Yet if Dean remains a demon, you knew that so many innocents would be killed. That is if Dean would end up choosing to kill despite his morals. You knew that he would kill his own brother without hesitation like he did in your vision as well.

“What are we going to do now, Dean?” You asked yourself but something deep within your conscience knew what you should do.

You pulled out your phone and scrolled through your text messages just to see the one name you were conflicted about contacting.

Sam…

Hey guys, sorry for the cliffhanger. But thank you to all of you who have been reading this series! I hope you are all enjoying the plot so far and I hope you all are doing well!

Tag List:

@roseblue373 @deans-spinster-witch @johannelis2302nely @justtrying2getby-blog @alternativeprincess94 @doctorlexilouwhosblog @deangirl96

#jensen ackles #supernatural #dean winchester #supernatural imagine #spnfandom #dean imagine #supernatural x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester imagine #jensen ackles imagine #moc dean #moc!dean #mark of cain dean #mark of cain #demon dean x reader #demon dean #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fanfiction #deanwinchtser #spn fanfic #spn #spnfamily

[fanfic-phoenix]

A Whole Lifetime

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 1538

Read on AO3

Perhaps, like Jim, Spock felt an inability to connect. A barrier between himself and the rest of the galaxy. Different barriers, yes - the barrier of rank, the barrier of emotion - but barriers all the same. The impossibility of meeting someone, anyone, who might understand them well enough to…

To what?

All that, and Jim’s mind was fixed on one crucial point. When I feel friendship for you, I am ashamed.

***

No longer infected, Jim and Spock are forced to discuss what came to light in the briefing room.

I’ve spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings.

-Spock, The Naked Time

“Three days to live again,” Jim said, as he and Spock entered the lift down to their respective quarters.  Doctor’s… suggestion.   A step down from an order, which had to go on the record, but Bones had no compunctions about making them into orders if the captain dared resist them.

The suggestion was that all those expected by the virus go to bed.  Sulu had gone down immediately; he and Spock had resisted a little longer, though Bones had glared.  

Perhaps he wouldn’t have glared so fiercely if he’d known the conversation they were avoiding.

“It sounds…  It feels impossible,” he finished.  

“It will be an interesting report for Starfleet Command,” Spock said, his voice as deep and measured as it ever was.  “I look forward to reading your take on it.”

There was no hint in him of the tearful man Jim had encountered earlier.

My God!  Tears!  Even now, it was, quite frankly, unbelievable.  Spock had always seemed… above such things.  And now, Jim knew that he wasn’t.  That even if that heart of his bled green, it could bleed all the same.

“Mr Spock,” he began, then faltered.  “That is…  Spock, I…”

“Captain?”

“If…”  Jim cleared his throat, frustrated.  He was James T. Kirk.  He was no coward.  “If you wanted to go to Vulcan, to see your parents…  Well.  You have plenty of leave time accumulated, and I have no reason to deny it.”

The silence rang like a death knell.  The tips of Spock’s ears flushed slightly green - a delicate olive shade - in embarrassment, or perhaps in shame.  Jim regretted opening his mouth, and he was about to apologise before Spock finally spoke.

“You have my thanks, Captain.”  His dark brown eyes flicked to the ceiling, away from Jim.  “And my request that, if you intend to continue this conversation, we retire to my quarters.”

Jim blinked.  He’d expected dismissal, total retreat, and instead received only the suggestion that they change to a more suitable venue - an entirely reasonable request, of course.  And an invitation to Spock’s quarters!  Jim wasn’t sure any being aboard ship could claim to have had the same.  The Vulcan was famously unsociable; several months into the friendship, and Jim had only succeeded in tempting him to chess in the rec room.  They hadn’t even shared a meal, yet; Spock apparently preferred to eat alone.

“Most agreeable, Mr Spock,” he said, and followed him to his room.

It was not the room he had expected his first officer to have.

He’d expected something rather sparse, ascetic.  Instead, the wash of red and green was almost luxurious.  Thick curtains surrounded Spock’s bed - and Jim would be damned if those blankets were standard issue.  Vulcan art adorned the walls, alongside Spock’s lyre, and even a few weapons, shining sharp in a way suggesting they were polished regularly.

“We were once a culture of warriors,” Spock said, following his gaze.  “It is the opinion of some on Vulcan that employment in Starfleet represents a return to those primitive ways.”

“And so you embrace it,” Jim said, with no small amount of admiration.  To take an insult and turn it into interior design…  If nothing else, it demonstrated a sense of humour that Spock had little opportunity to exercise - at least in front of his captain.

A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of Spock’s lips - or perhaps Jim imagined it.  “And so I embrace it.”

Jim smiled back and, for a moment, they could almost forget the awkwardness that had brought them here in the first place.

Almost.

“I must apologise, Captain, for my earlier loss of control.”  Spock’s smile, if it had ever existed, was entirely gone.

“Apology accepted, Mr Spock,” Jim said, “though I’m of the firm opinion that none was necessary.  No one could resist that infection - I don’t hold you responsible.”

“It was undignified.”

“No more so than striking one’s first officer.  Or…  Confessing attraction to members of the crew.”

“Yeoman Rand,” said Spock, very quiet.  After a moment, he added delicately, “Sir, Starfleet regulations do not directly forbid-”

“No, Spock.”  Jim smiled weakly.  “I’m not really…  It would never be anything long term.  And I can’t have anything short term with someone on the Enterprise.   I wouldn’t want that.”

“I see.”

“It was…  Representative of a larger issue.”

“In that case,” said Spock, finally taking a seat and gesturing Jim to another, “I confess that my distress regarding my mother was also indicative of… wider difficulties.”

For a moment, they sat in silence.  Even in the stillness, Jim’s mind whirled.  Dare he ask?  Was it… selfish?  To ask?  Here Spock was, confessing to… difficulties.  Perhaps - perhaps - the same difficulties that Jim himself experienced.

Perhaps, like Jim, Spock felt an inability to connect.  A barrier between himself and the rest of the galaxy.  Different barriers, yes - the barrier of rank, the barrier of emotion - but barriers all the same.  The impossibility of meeting someone, anyone, who might understand them well enough to…

To what?

All that, and Jim’s mind was fixed on one crucial point.  When I feel friendship for you, I am ashamed.

“Ask,” said Spock.  If Jim hadn’t known better, he might have suspected Spock of reading his mind.  But Vulcans were touch telepaths, and they were not touching.  And besides, Spock would never breach his trust, in that way or any other.  They…

Strange to think of it, but they hadn’t known each other all that long.  Yet Jim was as certain of Spock’s loyalty as he was of Bones’.

“You are ashamed of friendship.”  It was hardly a question, but Spock seemed unoffended.

“I am shamed by the depths of my… feelings.”  He seemed reluctant to own that such feelings existed when not under the influence of the virus that they had now never contracted.  “I have known you less than a year, yet I have allowed you to know me better than any other being.  I owe you my loyalty, the loyalty of an officer to his captain, but even if you were not my captain, I believe you would have it.  It is foolish, rushed, and I have allowed it to happen.  That is why I am ashamed.”

“At least you aren’t alone in it,” Jim said, shell-shocked to the point he hardly knew what to say.  “You know me better than any being aboard this ship, and the crew aboard this ship knows me better than anyone in the galaxy.  Only Bones comes close to beating you, and even then…  There is a burden of command which he cannot share.”

Silence fell again, silence that neither of them knew how to break.

It suddenly struck Jim how… lonely his life had been, that the man who knew him best was a Vulcan he’d met only months before.  He’d known it, of course, but never been made to confront it so… so terribly.

And how lonely Spock must be to find himself in the same boat.  Lonelier, even.  At least Jim had a people, a species, behind him; Spock was one of a kind, and separate from both sides of his heritage because of it.

The air felt thick.  It should have been sudden, yet it wasn’t. 

Their eyes met in perfect understanding.  One desperately lonely man and one desperately lonely Vulcan, bound by duty and by logic to remain that way.  Whatever else they might become, they would always be that.

And yet the air was so thick.

“I won’t,” said Jim.  “I was telling the truth.  The captain cannot notice.  He is not allowed to notice.”

“There is no official regulation, especially when ranks are close,” said Spock.  “However, if you do not wish to notice, then I will ensure there is nothing to notice.”

And he would, wouldn’t he?  That damned Vulcan loyalty - if Jim said the word, Spock would bury anything he was asked to. 

But he didn’t say the word, and Spock appeared before him, kneeling, smiling very slightly at him.  He placed his hands on Jim’s thighs.

“If it goes to hell,” he said hoarsely, “I lose the best first officer in the fleet.  I won’t risk that.”

Those wonderful hands danced towards Jim’s hips, and Jim let them. 

“If it ‘goes to hell’, as you say,” Spock murmured, and he must have known what it’d do to Jim to hear him curse, he had to have known, “do you not think that, of any man aboard this ship, I am capable of compartmentalising?”

Jim had one more argument, one more excuse, and no desire to play it.  He bent his head, and Spock raised his, and they came together in something like a crash, something like a fall, something that didn’t fit quite right and yet fit perfectly.  Spock’s lips were plush and pliant and slightly…

“Lip gloss?” Jim asked, smiling.

Spock raised an eyebrow and kissed him again, and Jim noted that that was not an answer, but let it slide.

If it goes to hell, Jim hadn’t said, I lose my closest friend.

But Spock’s fingers painted patterns on Jim’s skin, and the thought faded into nothingness.

#phoenix_rose #star trek: the original series #jim kirk #spock #post-episode s1 e4: The Naked Time #spirk #jim kirk/spock #first kiss #getting together

[justatalkingface]

The 'Great' MHA Read Along, Part Two (Chapters 5-7): The Aizawa-ing.

*checks last post, gets more than one like*

*blinks*

Huh. Well. OK then. Let's do another one, I guess.

And, literally the first panel? Bakugou. Wow, Bakugou is so great, so strong...

Bakugou scored zero rescue points. Zero. He was the only one, as far as we know, to get zero points and still pass... and that doesn't concern you at all? Considering most people didn't almost die like Izuku and Ochako, then the bar for 'rescue points' honestly must have been in the ground, like helping someone when they fell or something. And here, in UA, an elite school for Heroes, whose job is to save people, Bakugou scored zero rescue points. Like, I don't expect him to not get in over this, but it'd be nice if, instead of everyone fawning over him, from literally page one, someone could go, 'Hey, I don't like the looks of that'.

Then we transition to Izuku and All Might, and I guess that answers the question of, 'Why couldn't All Might help Izuku get in?': because he knew Izuku wouldn't want that.

I. I'm actually not sure of that? He wouldn't want attention, at least. But whatever, ultimately, the problem I have with that is All Might literally just dropped him in the exam with absolutely zero Quirk experience when, from all accounts, he could helped him get in somehow, Mr. Number One Hero, but....

Alright, bear with me a second. In theory, letting him earn his way is fine, but in practice, there's no fucking way Izuku should have passed if he didn't accidently crack the morality cheat for this exam, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this. At the same time, though, it's clear he doesn't deserve to be recommended student, yet, because again, he's a total noob, and I doubt he'd pass that exam, either, since it's just a giant race.

I think, ultimately, the problem here is Izuku is in a position where there's no reasonable way for him to pass, period. And I can't really blame anyone other than Hori, since, you know, author, and it goes back to what I said last time about he just set up Izuku to struggle for struggling's sake. And the thing is, he could still have had a hard time at at exam, but not have been so damn helpless about it; I mean, in all honesty the only reason Uraraka survived (as far as we can tell those robots are not safety proofed) is that he just so happened to have his Baby's First Quirk moment at that very moment, and since his Quirk is on the level of a fucking god he accidentallyed a robot that could step on a fucking Gundam. If it wasn't for protagonist level plot armor, in other words, Ochako should be dead, which... is a realization. Izuku has no way to fight the robots, or win the race, other then exploding himself, and this setup, for someone who is theoretically supported by the most powerful and influential man in the country, who is literally on the staff, doesn't really make sense. It'd be one thing if was literally nobody, but he's not: he's All Might's apprentice and heir. He is the exact opposite of nobody, but the story never really treats his situation like that; it be easy enough for them to swing it as him being Heroic royalty if All Might and Izuku were more pretentious (you could debate about the destabilizing effect of that, but all things considered All Might retiring and/or having an heir before everything went to shit actually could have been helpful, even if it made Izuku's life infinitely more complicated).

I just don't like that whole situation, basiclly, both with Izuku's capabilities and how hands off All Might suddenly is when he was helping him train daily literally to the actual day of the exam.

And then All Might admits he saw the problem of Izuku's control coming and did... nothing about that. Is. Is the reason All Might is inside OFA because it took his entire personality on the way out? A few chapters ago he was worried about Izuku exercising too hard, and now he's all, 'It's fine', with this apocalyptically powerful Quirk? And, now that it's established that there is a problem with his control, why isn't he trying to help with that problem? Like... at all?

See, this is what I was talking about last time: Arc One All Might is this committed, focused trainer who is expertly pushing Izuku's body just a hair from his absolutely limits on the daily and devotes large portions of his time to helping him improve. Arc Two All Might is just letting him blow up his arms for no apparent reason, while barely ever having time for the child with the legacy of his teacher and like, the primeval spirit of heroics inside him.

And, to top it off, there's the knowledge that he's never going to recover from this change; it only get worse from this point on.

Good bye, Competent Might. I'll miss you.

...And, here's Bakugou. And, with peerless Bakugou Logic (TM), even though he's in the best heroic school period, he's still treating his classmates as extras. Literally.

Pause here; random tangent time.

You know, early Bakugou's story has the shape of a 'big fish in a little pond' story, but have you realized his Quirk is perfect for that as well?

So, the thing is Explosion is a good Quirk, but it's just that: good. It's better than... seventy, eighty percent of Quirks we see, than most of his classmates. Then there's presumably another ten percent of equal Quirks, somewhere....

And then that last ten percent make Explosion look like kid shit. It's hard to remember with how chronically underused it is, but Momo's Quirk is terrifying with some work. I would bet that there's a chemical that neutralizes nitro she could pull out, which would neatly defang Bakugou, for example. Or, a blast of water, to get rid of his sweat, so there's nothing for him to blow up. Or, his actual, canon weakness, cold; fire extinguishers, anyone?

And that's not even mentioning Shoto. And this isn't later story Shoto, who is a side character in his own story, oh no, this is Earlyroki, who can solo the entire class with minimal effort on his part (except Izuku, but that's the starting point of their relationship, Shoto acknowledge him as a potential threat). This is Shoto before the nerfs rolled in.

The set up for the 'small pond' shit is honestly perfect, but Hori just never commits to it. Worse yet, to get around the limits he put in on Bakugou's Quirk, he just... starts breaking his own rules, all the way back with the Sports Festival (coming... at some point!), and it's super disappointing when you realize how great this could have been for realigning Bakugou's ego.

...Alright. Got off track there. Let's stop talking about Bakugou, and start talking about Iida! Iida who apologizes, and acknowledges Izuku! Iida who calls out Bakugou on his shit! Far more wholesome.

And then Uraraka shows up, and I'm pretty sure this is the end of his, 'OMG a girl I literally can't talk' phase, but again, nice to see someone acknowledge Izuku's existence and not hate him...

Ah, Bakugou flashback. I don't hate this, for once, because while it's Bakugou's flashback, it's about Izuku, and his growth, and him standing up for himself, even a little bit. Self affirmation is always nice to see...

And there's a homeless man who broke in! How talented. Wait, that's not a homeless man, that's just an adult who doesn't give a shit about personal hygiene!

(If you're new here, welcome to my blog. As you may have realized, I am not an Aizawa stan.)

(And yes, Bakugou, you tell that ball to die. How dare it be round!)

Welcome, everyone to Eraserhead Land, a world where you don't need to know things like where the consoler is, because mental health for law enforcement personal armed with dangerous superpowers is for losers! Welcome ceremony? Feeling accomplishment about getting into a top school? Possibly learning important things when everyone is gathered in one place? Naaah. If you're not stressed, miserable, and on edge, you're not doing it right!

To those unfamiliar with my posts, you may think I'm joking. I'm not.

Literally, the whole, 'Last place gets expelled bit'? Is because the kids were excited. All Might confirms that, yes, Aizawa absolutely would have kicked someone out.

Dadzawa Fans: 'Ah yes, the "Aizawa Critical" theory. The idea that Dadzawa is false and that the man in question is in fact deeply flawed and acts in incredibly traumatizing and Quirkist ways that should have massive negative repercussions on everyone he has ever taught. We have dismissed this claim.'

Me, deadass watching Aizawa prepare to kick someone out of school because some kids were happy: *blinks in visible confusion*

...This is a man in deep need of therapy. Which probably explains his views on guidance counselors.

Oh, and then Izuku neatly sums up my problem with how his life goes, that can basiclly be applied at any given moment : "My (insert normal thing here) has turned into a huge ordeal!"

Anyways, time for a bunch of tests that, by design, Eraserhead could never pass. And of course, we can't go five minutes (or five seconds, sometimes), without yet another demonstration of how unreasonable Bakugou is, what with him blasting Izuku in the race, which is actual sabotage.

Aizawa... sees no problem with this, apparently. Give it a couple of years, and we'll see an enterprising class take that to its logical conclusion, and murder and/or maim one or more of their fellow classmates for the win!

And now we have a flashback where, surprisingly (? I'm not actually sure if that should be surprising at this point) All Might actually tried to advise Izuku... by basiclly telling him to dial it back, but otherwise to figure it out himself.

You.... You had this Quirk. This exact Quirk. Why is your advice so useless?

Then we have a single panel of the long jump where I half think Bakugou ended up sabotaging Izuku again; why are these kids doing all these at the same time, again?

And then it comes out: Aizawa had already singled out Izuku, even before class, for him passing the exam at all, which didn't 'make sense'.

(With how the exam was set up, Izuku could have passed with minimal stress on his part if he just helped people instead of trying to deal with the robots all. Unironically, I don't think you actually need to interact with the robots at all, in the exam about fighting the robots. This is, as far as I can tell, a valid strategy, and it's not Izuku's fault that it rewards people for helping, bloody fuck.)

I'd bet this entire thing was just because of Izuku, so he could bump him out with minimal justification on his part. He flat out says he doesn't like All Might (an 'insufferable' hero) and compares Izuku to him directly. Like, god this is so damn targeted, and we have All Might watching, internally monologuing about how Eraserhead hates him and he's helpless to protect Izuku...

...Some the fuck how. The Number One Hero is helpless to protect his heir from a clearly biased attempt to get rid of him, when the principal is in the know about important he is. And he seems remarkably fine with his student's seemingly impediment expulsion.

'I can't help him! I'm just going to stand here watching from behind a corner instead of making sure Nezu knows how ABSOLUTELY LIVID I'll be if he gets expelled, or preparing to leverage my immense fame and influence to help, or maybe threatening Eraserhead if he takes his dislike of me out on an innocent student! Nope, no way I can contribute here, oh well, sorry for being such a waste of space Izuku, you're on your own.'

...What the fuck is this? This doesn't make sense! I bought into the narrative of this the first time I read it but now that I've stopped to think about it for five seconds this entire arc is collapsing in on itself.

Why did you make Izuku's mentor the most powerful person on the planet, with the ability to command legions of devoted fans, who single handedly changed how an entire country looks at heroes, if you were going to make him so fucking helpless?!

And then, the cherry on top of all of this is Izuku 'grows' by only breaking his finger, and this fills Aizawa with apparent delight.

Bloody hell. Here, let me summarize my impression of Aizawa after reading this arc again:

"The longer Eraserhead is observed, the more terrible a teacher he becomes."

And now we reach the next chapter, where Bakugou promptly attacks Izuku for the crime of having a Quirk, and Aizawa stops him before... whining. About dry eye.

Mr. "I expel entire classes" yet again sees no problem with students fighting each other, apparently, which is more evidence for my Bloody Mist style Class 1-A theory; we already have discount Kakashi, whose entire character is basiclly badly copied copy ninja characterization, so we might as well get young!Zabuza or something as well.

Oh, I almost forgot Aizawa's first lesson to his students: you can never trust anything I say, ever, because I can, and will, lie to you, for no reason at all, at any moment at all, even when what you think are real-life consequences are on the line, and if you fall for it that's your mistake for falling for a 'logical ruse'.

Talk about a trust building exercise, huh? Clearly, this is Best Father Figure.

Meanwhile, can I mention how nonsensical All Might teaching when he has a time limit is? Why the hell is he wasting his waning moments of power, which could be used for so many more important things than standing there while the students gawk at him? Teach as Skele-Might, or watch the security cameras or something.

...Huh. My translation doesn't have 'Dekiru' in it, even though we had Ochaka accidently call Izuku Deku. Was that later or did whoever did this just not put it in...?

Welp. This was immensely frustrating. Good thing the next arc isn't going to have anything at all concerning, SOD breaking, or horrible in it, right?

#bnha critical #mha critical #bakugou critical #aizawa critical #The 'Great' MHA Read Along #well this got worse fast #goodbye competent might #hello dumb might #the arc one to two whiplash #struggling for struggling's sake #i have no idea what i'm doing #but i'm glad tumbler now knows to offer this tag to me #what the fuck did i just bring upon this cursed land

[mylifeisjustafeverdream]

A Retelling of My Mind Whilst Reading Shadow Kissed-

Omg it's the Sixth Sense up in this bitch

Bitch when are you ever "just tired" when weird shit starts happening to you, I swear to fuck.

Rose is so me because I too would rather die than spend an extended amount of time with my best friends boyfriend.

Eddie Castile the man that you are.

From the bottom of my heart I hope Jesse gets his shit rocked.

Omg Rose girl do something, ANYTHING. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING US.

Least Favorite Trope: Entire plot would be resolved if this dumbass just like communicated the issues she is having OMFG.

If Rose Hathaway has no haters all her teachers must be dead because wtf is their issue???

Homegirl is unstable at best.

I feel like at this point she should probably go to where Mason the Friendly Ghost is pointing.

Girly-pop that's not a migraine....

I do not fucking trust that bitch Tatianna

*Viktor explains master plan* "Cool motive still murder"

*Law and Order sounds*

HE JUST SAID THAT SHIT IN OPEN COURT IT'S ON THE RECORD

How much of an asshole do you have to be that it's more believable that you're lying than a crime having actually happened lol

Lissa is so clueless it's kinda funny.

You know what I hope Rose fucks Adrienne and gets pregnant just to spite Tatianna.

She wants her nails done omg she's just a girl 🥺

*starts looking at my tarot book to see if this is accurate*

I love when Dimitri starts lore dropping to Rose

Well.... I think they know about the ghosts now.

That doctor is the only rational adult at the school cause literally why tf didn't she talk to a counselor.

Her therapist just clocked her so hard.

Well that's an unfortunate fact about Shadow Kissed Anna

Dimitri took part in that attack exercise specifically so she would hop on it lmao

Can't even celebrate for a moment before Lissa is off doing something dumb I swear to god

Lissa try not to get tortured challenge go

*New power unlocked*

YES ROSE BEAT HIS ASS GIRL......oh shit.....GIRL YOU GOT HIM IT'S GOOD.

She's like a feral cat.... Dimitri should use a spray bottle.

Oh my GOD IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE REMAIN FUCKING CALM

Girl you gotta give me more details than that PLEASE

"My body ached" that'll happen when your first time is with a 6'7 Russian built like a tank

CAN WE NOT HAVE ONE GOD DAMN MOMENT OF PEACE

Girl I'm gonna throw up he's all alone out there.

CHRISTIAN OZERA THE MAN THAT YOU ARE

HE DIDN'T DIE THANK FUCK

Mason upstaging Dimitri even from the afterlife that's my man right there.

SECRET TUNNELS, SECRET TUNNELS THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS

The uncanny ability that 17 year old female herions have to radicalize societies is amazing

Do y'all think Dimitri came up with that life plan while he was fighting the strigoi?

"You're scared of my mother" um yea girl she's fs going to catch an attempted murder charge once she finds out.

*Clenched my jaw so tight during the cave fight it started to hurt*

Oh my God girl stop internal monologuing about how everything is going to work out THAT ALWAYS GOES POORLY

Oh God it's that blonde bitch from earlier this is going to be so much worse than him being dead.

Rose: *literally tries to throw herself back into a vicious attack just to save Dimitri's body*

Everyone Else: She just respected him as a teacher so much there's no other possible explanation.

Lissa clocking what was happening with Rose and Dimitri just now is like when someone steals the answer on Wheel of Fortune after the other contestant mispronounced the phrase

*Knows it's definitely going to happen* "Dimitri is a strigoi"*gasps*

I'm shocked they didn't grab like a single Guardian teacher to try and talk down Rose like why tf did they think Kirova would have any affect.

I know it's not malicious on Lissa's part but I'm glad Rose is finally speaking about how one sided this relationship is.

"Off to kill the man I love" oh this next book is going to fuck me up.

#Shadow Kissed #vampire academy #rose hathaway #dimitri belikov #vasilisa dragomir #romitri

[once-ler-ask-blog153]

But with Mike and Sally(the security guards I named)

⬇️. And mentions of my OC Kaiyo⬇️

Credit for the original story goes to @simplydannie she she writes cool fanfic go check her blog out! 😁ok now onto the story!

Link to original story if you want to read it

——————————————————————————

Sally the female mount rageon guard felt a little sorry for him before glancing over at her partner Mike who was the male Mount rageon gaurd standing next to her. “The law is the law Sally I’m sorry but…” mike looked at her as she furrowed her eyebrows feeling sympathetic for veneer. “Sally you know that….” Sally looked away from him and crossed her arms “Sally come on..” Mike tried to get her to look at him.

“He’s been through enough in my opinion jail is too harsh of a punishment!” Sally said in a firm tone and faces away from him arms still crossed. “Have I mentioned you look pretty today!” Mike said to his gf “ether you change veneers jail time to community service or no cuddles.. for an entire week!” She said looking at him again.

Mike sighs softly and adjusts his hat “fine! I’ll do it for you!” He walks over to veneers cell and grabs the key to unlock it

Veneer steps back as he began to shiver a little with fear “Don’t please…” Mike looks up at him “Don’t worry kid… just follow my lead” he whispered to veneer and opened the jail cell door before gently grabbing Veneer’s wrist and has veneer put his arms behind his back.

Mike walked up next to sally with veneer as both guards were walking down the hallway with veneer.. before they could get outside to the courtyard Mark The toughest security guard there lowered his sunglasses “where ya taking him!” He demanded “is it sooo bad veneer just wants some outside time! Sheesh” Sally replied glaring at him “it’s not exercise time yet!” Mark adjusted his sunglasses again. “I said veneer wants his outside time… so move aside OR I WILL MAKE YOU!” She yelled which startled the guard in front of her to do so.

“By the way you come near veneer.. you put your hands on him or even THINK about doing so….” Sally pops her knuckles and gave him a angry glance “I’ll be your new worst nightmare!” She huffed and continued to walk down the hallway to the courtyard door.

When they finally got outside to the courtyard Sally and Mike sigh with relief as Mike let’s him go. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting that penalty! That penalty shouldn’t even exist in the first place!” She said too Veneer “Thank you?” Veneer replied rubbing his wrists as he sounded a little confused “why are you being so nice to me anyway…” the green haired teen looked leans against the wall “there’s no such thing as a bad teen just… a misunderstood kid!” The female mount rageon guard also leaned against the wall next to veneer.

That’s when the clamp on veneers locket came loose and fell to the ground Mike picked it up and gently dusted it off as it opened “who’s this?..” he looks at the picture. “My little brother Kaiyo” veneer kicks at the ground “velvet and I were his legal guardians but a damn security guard took him away!”

-_-\FLASHBACK/-_-

Kaiyo held on tightly to veneer as another security guard gently grabbed him and tried to pull him away from Veneer. “No! Leave me alone!” Kaiyo kicked the security guard but another one grabbed Kaiyo and picked him up “you don’t need criminals bring your legal guardians!” He tells Kaiyo at this point the little Mount rageon/troll hybrid was screaming and crying.

/END OF FLASHBACK/

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Kaiyo scream that loud before…” veneer sighs “THE SECURITY GAURD SAID THAT!!!” Sally clenched her hands into fists “OH. MY. GOD! That… that’s messed up!” She yelled “I have to agree with Sally” Mike added.

~End of chapter 1~

———————————————————

#trolls veneer and velvet #trolls 3 #mount rageous #Mount rageons

[midnightdevotion]

Catch Me

Part 3 of The one (Final part)

@redpandabel

Pairing: Iceman x reader

Warnings: Swearing if that's even a warning?

a/n: I went out of town so sorry this is delayed :') but anyways it's here now and I hope you guys all love it!

Waking up is simultaneously your favorite and least favorite thing. You love it on mornings like to today because the sun comes sweeping in waking you gently to the sounds of birds singing. However, you hate it because after a good 22 seconds you realize the events of last night are in fact a reality.

Sighing you try to brush the stinging in your heart away. Angry at yourself from being this hurt about a guy you met one time. So unlike the you that lived on the east coast less than 72 hours ago.

Deciding you weren't going to let this ruin another day for you, you push yourself up and out of bed. You were going to go for a quick jog, even though you loathed jogging. At this point anything was better than sitting in the house dwelling on the gorgeous eyed aviator who didn't show.

You didn't expect slider to be awake when you stepped downstairs. Feeling the tension between your brows tighten with curiosity you decide your impending doom of a jog could wait.

Slider is sitting next to a gorgeous display of flowers. The beauty of yellow roses almost out of place in what could be described as nothing short of a hungover mans bubble.

"Someone get you flowers Slide?" You ask cheekily, and he's quick to shoot you a glare, but groaning that he shouldn't have moved so fast immediately after doing so.

"I definitely deserve some god damn flowers" You can't help the laugh that escapes you as your best friend clutches the cup of coffee in his hands like his life depends on it.

"anyways no, they were on the doorstep when I got home so I brought them in. I don't think I own a vase" he was looking at the flowers perplexed. Shaking your head with a laugh, and grabbing a cup to put them in.

"a cup will work just fine then, wonder who left them" It didn't cross your mind that a sorry blond haired pilot would be the reason for the flowers. You see Slider raise a brow from the corner of your eye but you leave it.

"I'm going to go for a jog and hopefully not die" You state giving him a cheeky grin. He knows you hate jogging, but you don't give him the chance to question you.

It's hell. Now you remember why you don't do this. There's sweat dripping down your face, and you're sure your face is a blotchy mess of red. The humid air of the ocean does not make it easier to breathe either. You could lay down right here and die. The fact you only made it half a mile away from the house before dying might be embarrassing but hell you'll be dead so who cares.

If you weren't so angry about last night still you would've already turned around and made for a shameful walk back into the house where slider would make fun of you. Here you were though, plugging along in hopes that this stupid exercise would release some endorphins and make you happier.

You give up after another half mile. Clearly this wasn't working and if anything it was only making you angrier. All you kept thinking about was his stupid god damn smile, and the way his stupid eyes sparkled, or the way his laugh made you want to laugh. Stupid fucking aviators.

Why did he even make the bet with you, having you agree to a date, and then just not show up. He could've just flirted and at the end of the night let you down easy. There was no harsher reality then being stood up.

It was embarrassing. You were so smitten with the man and here you are drowning in the embarrassment and suffering the heartache after just one day. It scared you, how much pain you were feeling from this.

You had been no stranger to how shitty men could be, so why does it hurt so badly this time around. Why did your heart still sting, and why did you want to curl up with ice cream and a romance movie driving you further into sadness until you swore off men entirely.

Okay, even you could admit that maybe that's a bit dramatic. However, you felt that you had the right to be dramatic when the wound is still so fresh.

You didn't expect to see someone sitting on your doorstep when you finally made your way back, walking most of the mile home. As you got closer the sight made you wanna turn and run another five miles away from here. You were never good with confronting emotions. Sarcastic and witty and able to stand up to yourself when necessary sure, but confronting hurt emotions with the blond aviator who just looked up to see your sweaty exhausted self was not something you were prepared for.

"You know slider is on the inside right" you decided the best route was to pretend it never happened, hoping to spare yourself at least some semblance of dignity.

"I'm not here for slider" you could almost hear the apologetic tone in his voice.

"Don't let him hear that, it'd breath his heart" you felt like you couldn't breathe all over again, Tom having more of an effect on you than the goddamn run.

You move to walk past him, wanting to just get away from him. First he stood you up and now he gets to see you looking like a sweaty rat. Whatever you did to piss off karma you didn't know but you'd get on your knee's and beg the universe for forgiveness at this point.

He catches your wrist before you can brush past him on the steps. Holding you firmly in front of him. He's so close you can smell his aftershave, a deep teakwood scent mixed with what you could place as the ocean, fresh and warming.

"can I please talk to you" you raise your eyebrow at his request.

"Sure" you didn't give him much to work with, but in all fairness you didn't have much you could give him, not when you're trying to protect yourself.

"I am so sorry for missing last night, god I wanted nothing more than to be here, I don't want to just give you excuses I got here as soon as I could but the lights were out. I'm assuming you got my flowers because they weren't on the door and next time I'm telling all my commanding officers to fuck off and coming to our date" he grabs your hand half way through his reasoning, and he's terrified because your face gives nothing away.

What you don't know is that he came over not five minutes after you left for your run, ready to apologize and beg on his knee's for forgiveness. Something that scared the hell out of him because his call sign wasn't iceman for nothing.

Usually he would be fine, another girl would come along. He wouldn't worry about her feelings or what she thought of him. God the thought of you hating him made him want to cry. If his team found out about that, the mocking would never stop and yet he found himself not caring. If shouting it to the world is what he needed to to do to gain your forgiveness then he would until his voice was raw.

You were however, still confused.

"Um what." and yeah okay not the most intelligent thing you've ever said, but you didn't sleep so good and now you've just ran/walked to miles so you are giving yourself a break.

Slider opens the door, his eavesdropping obvious to you two now.

"Oh my god you two are stupid. Iceman is basically in love with you but we were forced to stay late because our admiral stopped by, why he didn't call I don't know because he's stupid. You are stupid because you really think I would let him do that to my best friend, like for the love of god I know us men are stupid but please give me some credit at least. I'm leaving so I don't have to watch this anymore but figure your shit out children" he slapped iceman on the back and gave you a wink as he walked to his car and sped off.

"I- was he"

"He's so nosy" you both started talking at the same time, causing you to laugh. Tom looked so utterly confused it was like a lost puppy. He quickly shook himself out of it though.

"look I guess what I'm trying to say, is I'm so so sorry darling, and I'd love to make it up for you and get a second chance at our date"

"Hmmmm I normally don't do second chances... I think i'll make an exception for you though" okay maybe the pause was mean, and you shouldn't have enjoyed the way his face fell when you said second chances weren't normally your thing. When he processed the rest of your sentence though, he looked down at you absolutely beaming.

"Oh thank god" It was nothing short of absolute relief that filled his tone.

"Slider wants you to get him flowers by the way" and he couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. Shaking his head he watches as you move to open the door behind you. That's when he finally notices the attire you were wearing for your jog. His hand slips behind your waist as he pulls you closer to him. You won't admit it out loud but the way his hands touch your bare skin has tingles shooting through you.

"I'll get you and my stupid R.I.O. whatever you guys want, especially when you look like this" you raise your eyebrow at him, watching as his eyes scan your body. Feeling smug, wearing your sports bra and running shorts. He moves in to kiss you, but you aren't done having your fun yet so you move your head.

"I'm pretty sure I said I'd kiss you after seeing how our date went and well" you pause watching the restraint flicker behind his eyes, mixed with what your guessing is frustration.

"If I order us in lunch does that count" there's a desperation to his voice and you'd have more fun teasing him if you weren't just as desperate.

"Throw in dinner and you have a deal" and before you can even think about what's happening next he's crashing his lips to your and pushing you agains the door.

His grip on your waist tightens and there is no ignoring the butterflies that are exploding inside your stomach. He lifts you up effortlessly and opens the door to your temporary home. You silently thank god slider left earlier.

"If you're going to make me fall for you, you better catch me" You breathily whisper against his swollen lips.

"Oh Honey, there is nothing I want more" comes his quick reply before guiding your lips right back to his. With that you let yourself fall, effortlessly and quickly.

Taglist:

@alanadetigy 

@luckyladycreator2 

@multiplefandomsmess 

@tkmarvel-divergentbish

@ohh-to-be-a-frog

@roosterschanelslut

@littlebadariell

@nobody7102

#iceman x reader #tom kazansky x reader #tom iceman kazansky #tom kazansky #iceman #top gun 1986 #top gun maverick #top gun

[buttercup-bollz]

HAZBIN HOTEL CRITIQUE/REWRITE. TW: OPINIONS!!!! & HEAVY TOPICS obviously bc this is hh

CHARLIE MORNINGSTAR

critiques

charlie has to be my second favourite character- yet alas, her writing isn't THAT great in the show despite the amazing arc potential she possesses and she gets really thrown to the sidelines even if she IS quite literally the protagonist which is like so fucking disappointing???

we know next to nothing about her. ANGEL DUST'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE HAS SO MUCH MORE WRITTEN THAN HER??? and god i know viv SUCKS at writing female characters but it just still baffles me. HAZBIN HOTEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHOW "4 THE GIRLS" RIGHT??? RIGHT??? THEN WHY IS THE MALE CAST X10 TIMES INTERESTING THAN THE WOMEN WHICH THE SHOW IS SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON??? in general its js stupid to separate shows into "male-focused" and "female-focused". bruh whats the difference, its still a character no matter their gender. viv just wanted to make an excuse of why she's so shit at making girls w good lore & etc tbh (it did NOT work). like... i can see she's TRYING but its still fucking awful. its like shes in this constant state of living off her gay mlm fetishes... we BARELY have any wlw rep in hazbin/helluva. AND VIV IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BISEXUAL WOMAN WHICH JUST HURTS LIKE A BITCH IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. god im so fucking sick of gay ships i cant handle it. FIZZMODEUS, STOLITZ, HUSKERDUST, VOXVAL, FIZZBLITZ. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !!!!

basically charlie summed up: well, she's.... kind...?? and um.... bubbly? and she believes in redemption & thinks everyone deserves a second chance FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON, she just does okay!?!? we need her to believe in it so that we'll actually have a plot and a purpose/morale of the story! dont make unnecessary questions! and shes UNREASONABLY naive & childish despite living in hell for 200+ yrs seeing all kinds of fucked up people, even RAPISTS. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN THE AMOUNT OF SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT I INITIALLY FELT WHEN SHE MADE ANGEL READ THAT ONE SCENARIO SCENE W SIR PENTIOUS... LIKE.... UMM WHAT??? ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY ITS FULL-BLOWN EMBARRASSING😭😭😭😭 its... devastating. you see & interact w actual serial killers, addicts, sex workers ON A DAILY BASIS, and you... you... YOU THINK THIS IS HOW THEY BEHAVE? fucking CHRIST on A STICK.

you think that "TRUST-FALLS" & "EXERCISES" IS GONNA MAKE A DRUG ADDICT TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER???

she also likes to sing and likes musicals, so hence the show is a musical too!

...

TELL ME WHY IN HAPPY DAY IN HELL VAGGIE & ANGEL WENT "yeahhhhh shes singing ewww!!1 cringe lOl". GUYS YALL LITERALLY DO THE SAME THING LATER ON? it just RUINED the entire vibe for me. it doesnt make ANY sense... so the characters KNOW they're singing in universe? then that's ridiculous bc tell me why would charlie, emily n sera sing at the damn COURT? Y'ALL OUT HERE QUITE LITERALLY DEBATING THE FATE OF ALL SINNERS AND YOU'RE COMPLETELY FULLY PERFECTLY AWARE THAT YOU ARE... SINGING????? you did NOT need to humiliate charlie like that just to poke fun at her. WHY NOBODY MADE FUN OF ANGEL WHEN HE STARTED SINGING POISON? HUH???? its obvi it was said to make her look cringe, which, okay, characters CAN be cringe, BUT NOT WHEN YOU PRESENT IT IN A SERIOUS TONE? LIKE IT WASN'T JUST A FUNSY PROD INSTEAD OF A DEADASS INSULT MAKING THE PERSON LOOK LIKE A WALKING JOKE?? she BARELY gets treated seriously by the writers. shes that stereotypical stupid blonde and not in a hilarious way, meant to move the plot forward.

anyway.

another clear ICK i have is when husk starts to immediately point out everyone's insecurities in "masquerade". DO WE NOT KNOW THE "SHOW DON'T TELL" PRINCIPLE? if you just SMACK it into our faces without bothering to SHOW it, but INSIST that "charlie solves everyone's problems except her own trust guys 100%%!!!!!!", THEN IT HAS NO POINT. words are MEANINGLESS without actions to prove it. you literally DESTROYED her entire character arc with a single sentence. in SOME cases, there's an exception to the show dont tell rule, BUT CLEARLY THIS ONE WAS UNCALLED FOR. its the FOURTH episode and you're already laying out to us their weaknesses? GODDAMIT HUSK I LOVE YOU BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE. Y'ALL DEFEATED THE PURPOSE OF HER CHARACTER WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO EVOLVE AND BE EXPOSED TO US AS WE MOVE ALONG. THAT'S HOW YOU GET THE AUDIENCE HOOKED. THEY WANT TO KNOW MORE; WHY are they acting this way? HOW does this affect them on a psychological level? how do they cope with this and that but NOPE. we get it served on a silver platter and SHOVED down our throats in the first season (WHICH HAS A TOTAL AMOUNT OF EIGHT EPISODES. EIGHT. EPISODES).

oh, wait, we get some crumbs of her emotional vulnerabilities! apparently she has a bad relationship with her dad as we're PERSISTENTLY TOLD.

" Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!" WE'RE BARELY FIVE MINUTES IN THE FIRST EP. YOU'RE. JOKING.

and as we witnessed her in the pilot say "i think dad was right about me". thank godsmack for this heavenly sent, GORGEOUS scene that didn't spit into our faces everything instantly. (the fact that the pilot is 10000x times better than the show itself is my #1 reason.) another SEMI-good example (DUE TO THE FACT THAT HUSK GOES: "u got daddy issues or smt?!?!!?" HUSK YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH I SWEAR I WILL NEUTER YOU) is when charlie says: " No, we just have never been close. After he and mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls, sometimes, but only if he's bored or like needs me to do something." but thats about it.

and the worst thing?? we NEVER see lucifer ACTUALLY being a bad father. WHY IS HE EXCITED WHEN CHARLIE CALLS HIM EVEN THOUGH "HE ONLY CALLS WHEN HE'S BORED AND NEEDS ME TO DO SOMETHING??" DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD AND FORGOT? HE WANTED TO SPEAK WITH CHARLIE? THAT JUST WIPES & INVALIDATES CHARLIE'S STATEMENTS AND MAKE HER LOOK LIKE A SPOILED ATTENTION-SEEKING WHINY BRAT. not to mention the: "this is the first time she's called you in years!" so is it lucifer neglecting charlie or is it charlie neglecting lucifer and being an abhorrent daughter? pick a lane?

"I told you when you called me five months ago, or did you not listen?" im SORRY? lucifer is literally SO desperate to see her yet.... he forgets when his daughter told him where tf she is which technically allowed him to visit her with NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER? WHAT IS THE ISSUE? DOES HE NOT KNOW HOW TO TRAVEL ON HIS OWN TO HER RESIDENCE?

aaand they solve their problems THE EXACT SAME EPISODE LUCIFER APPEARED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. we NEVER got to see him being a bad dad. if anything, he's just a bit close-minded at best THAT STILL TRIES TO CHANGE. this doesn't make him bad at ALL, it makes him look like he's "misunderstood" which, in turn, like i said before presented charlie as a crybaby that threw a hissy fit just bc she felt like it.

more than anything is beautiful, the vocals are fantastical, the soundtrack is heart-breaking, but. WHY SO SOON? why you couldn't do it before if it's so easy then? after that they act like there was never a rift between them ever in the first place. wow! good for you! soo i actually barely give a DAMN about this bc you didn't even give me enough time to digest everything that went down.

rewrite

so... how can we improve charlie to make her likeable, enjoyable and interesting to watch?

what i have in mind is:

Charlie is a kind-hearted person who dislikes brute force and prefers to solve things through peaceful terms. why? because her entire life she has been isolated in her own home, therefore only ever interacted with her servants that treated her like she was made of glass, her parents, and razzle & dazzle- lucifer nd lilith were afraid that hell's harsh reality would make her cruel, so they never let her out on her own UNTIL she turned into an young adult. it also makes her socially inept, so she has a hard time understanding/reading others & their feelings; generally low empathy. so she treats sinners as simply misbehaved & misled children that didn't know any better, because she CAN'T fathom what else could it be. she imagines redemption to be easy; she has a very idealistic & abstract idea of it, which is something she picks up from her father who was also an oblivious dreamer like her once in his youth. she doesn't know how it works or what qualifies a sinner as "redeemed" (which can create VERY interesting conflicts & plot points). HOWEVER, she's ALSO perfectly aware that the majority of people in hell are irredeemable, that some people are just unfixable assholes after living on her own & interacting with REAL asses for twenty years. yet she still keeps hope that SOME of them may be GOOD, some of them are CAPABLE of change. why? because ever since she was a child, lilith taught her love towards her people. LILITH was the one that instilled the care & the need to protect she feels for demons, as bad as some of them are. not only that, but she knows that redemption is possible because she changed.

even if she was raised to be cheerful and bubbly by her parents, she was also HEAVILY spoiled, so when she reached puberty it went as well as you'd expect. she began to date seviathan who was an absolute DICK and enabled her mindset of "im the princess of HELL goddamit i can do whatever THE FUCK i want!!!!". of course, lilith & lucifer being the doting parents that they are, let it slide- lilith TRIED to explain to her that NO, being a princess didn't give her free pass to do everything she wanted, but in the end she conceded bc she just rlly fucking loves her kid and it never went beyond a few scoldings. and lucifer just... never cared. which basically... worsened charlie x2 times, being left unpunished for every shit she did. secretly trying out drugs that sev gave to her, treating her servants like they were nothing but dirt underneath her feet, being self-entilted as fuck and etc and etc. BUT!! sev & charlie DID like each other for real. there was no intentional abuse whatsoever, they were dumb teenagers that kinda exacerbated each other's horrible tendencies & had no damn idea how to communicate properly so sometimes it went like:

sev: shoves beer cmon lets try this charles you'll like it!!!! (no ill intention, only happy excited vibes of a curious teen boy that wanted to be cool like adults)

charlie: ummm idk i dont think we r allowed to do this ..

sev: DONT BE A PUSSY LETS DO THIS YOU'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE !!!

charlie: welp okay! shrugs (gets drunk beyond belief together with sev)

what made her change?

well...

lucifer and lilith's divorce.

lucifer was the one that took custody of her at first. but as you can guess it was NOT great. lucifer fell into depression after losing his wife that he lived with for EONS, became neglectful, angry & started to drink to cope. seeing her dad change so drastically and start to treat her like SHIT (lashing out at her on several occassions due to inability to deal with his own emotions, distancing himself away from her), she finally got a reality-check. like... holy FUCK was she also like that??? people DIDN'T think that even breathing wrong in her direction would get them wiped off the face of earth? THERE WERE CONSEQUENCES FOR HER SPOILED DEMEANOR?

lucifer FINALLY paid attention to how much of a dickbag his daughter became, but he dealt with it horribly. instead of trying to help, explaining why it was wrong, he screamed at her bloody murder. he made snide remarks towards her ALL THE TIME... and at some point, he thought he recognized humanity in charlie. he gave them so much, yet they repay him with this?? it didn't help him with his abusive tendencies.

charlie broke down after they've had a huge fight again & BEGGED lilith to take custody of her instead. lilith accepted it NO HESITATION whatsoever, and comforted her. she reassured her that she wasn't a mistake, that she can become a better person and people were capable of improvement. so she did. she didn't see lucifer bc she became anxious of him, and he was so stuck in his self-deprecating thoughts (the cherry on top being that his own daughter abandoned him) he didn't visit her either. and, despite never being the embodiement of "evil" as everyone presumed him to be & truly regretting/being shameful of the things he did, he was also arrogant. so, even if subconsciously he felt guilt and self-hatred for being such a jerk, he kept convincing himself that it was all charlie's fault (he is the sin of pride for a reason)

charlie eventually broke up with sev, subsequently. they left off on an... okay note. then she gained something akin to depression and took time to recover from the freakshow that her life became. she turned into a merciful person who DESPISED fighting, arguements and everything (for obvious reasons).

once upon a time a day came that turned her life on it's head.

lilith disappeared. went to a "meeting" and never came back after that. no traces, no notes, no nothing.

charlie was HEARTBROKEN. she found out that her dad literally didn't do shit as a ruler of Hell this way; she was FLOODED with papers and meetings that her mother needed to do after a week of her disappearance. so, she took comfort in being a workaholic and surppressed her grief by solving Hell's problems days on end- (this is where she got her "fixing everyone's problems BUT her own" mentality) partially, the other reason for that was because she knew how much lilith cared for demonkind, so she couldn't fail her. now that she was alone, though, she had the ability to move out and live on her own. that's exactly what she did, she bought a shabby gigantic house (which soon became the hotel but we'll get to that part later.).

that was how she ended up witnessing an Extermination first time ever.

she was HORRIFIED beyond belief and was so fucking confused why would heaven do this? yes they were bad but murder couldn't be the only solution to their problems, could it?

lilith would hate to see her people being torn apart like that.

she spent days on end thinking of an alternative, something that would stop these inhumane purges, and that's how she came up with the idea of the hotel.

some years passed. she met valerie (vaggie; i changed her name bc jesus i know there's a reason (which honestly only WORSENS my distaste) behind it but its awful no matter what i cannot stomach it in any form), they fell in love. their relationship only furthened her determination to find out how to get sinners into heaven, because she knew that valerie deserved it 100%, and she couldn't be a singular exception, could she? valerie acted bitter and hostile towards her at the beginning when she took her in, because she was scared and distrustful as valerie had admitted, but softened and warmed up to charlie. so how much people out there were the same as valerie, scared and hurt & misled to a point they resorted to bad choices?

fun little ideas i thought abt this charlie's version:

just like in canon, she's very fascinated with humans, therefore sinners since they were one before their death. imagine charlie just... BOMBARDING valerie with questions when they first met. "do humans eat pork!?!?!? do some of them ACTUALLY not believe in hell/heaven?!?!? DISCRIMINATION BASED ON SKIN-COLOUR IS REAL?!?!?!? tellmetellmetellme" (valerie had a VERY hard time figuring out what to tell her if ykwim.)

2. her design and the canon design are vastly different. she is an ACTUAL doll that was brought to life by her parents (bc .... weren't sinners incapable of giving birth? so how did lilith....) and looks fucking unnerving as hell, literally a dead walking zombie. she tries to appear more innocent and friendly by changing/tweaking her looks to her best abilities, but in REALITY her TRUE form is the definition of antichrist and everything unholy. she's so insecure about it but valerie always reassures her <3

3. she has a tiny piece of each seven sins inside of her which get more difficult to control as she becomes more powerful, they really fcken stress her out and she thinks she's a freak for ever thinking of something like that, but she can't control her thoughts. she had a really bad crisis when she started to fall in love with valerie because her sins would just go WILD, but somehow managed it with her gf's support. and yes, charlie was the one to fall first. since; oh lord!! pretty woman!! that is kinda nice in comparison to everybody here!!! OH GOD IM NOT GONNA BE ALONE ANYMORE!!!!!!

4. girl has abandonment issues. it makes her into a sorta of a people-pleaser that would do anything to keep her loved ones with her. she does know boundaries, and she isn't a complete pushover, but... she's obviously anxious all the damn time, this also adds onto why she FLIPPED OUT when she found out valerie was an angel. first, DOES SHE NOT TRUST ME!?!??!?!? second, WILL SHE LEAVE ME FOR HEAVEN?!?!?!?!? she DID want to get valerie into heaven, but it seemed so far away that she kinda didn't think too much abt it + now that she knew that she was actually an ANGEL it made her fear so much more raw and realistic.

5. she's demisexual. because i wanted her to be, and it just makes sense okay?

thats it for my charlie rewrite. if anything else comes to mind, ill be sure to write it out. next up will either be valerie (vaggie) or lucifer! but for now thats it.

if you felt interested in my original take on the hazbin hotel, please let me know if you'd like me to write a fanfic!

#hazbinhotel #rewrite #headcanons #hh #vaggie hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #charlie hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lilith morningstar #hellaverse #vivziepop #seviathan von eldritch #hazbin fandom

[faggotmox]

ranger vents abt the doctor's office under the cut

there was something truly unhinged abt a thing that happened today.

the last primary care appointment i had went really bad, my nurse practitioner so very horrible to me. i ended up very nonverbal during the appointment bc she was so horrible to me, she refuses to treat me like im autistic. when i bring up concern abt certain things she completely shut it down, blames it on me, ect. (as if its my fault my t shot routine is disrupted by her not sending my t script to my pharmacy. she often takes a week to refill my t, & often doesn't send or write the script for needles/syringes). anyways, the point is last time i saw this lady i was non-verbal, shaking, very negative body language, ect.

so today i went to my therapy appointment which is in the same clinic. as my therapist was walking me out, my np came out of her office & cornered me in the hallway. she was smiling at me all sweet & said, i fuckin kid you not, this bitch said to me "you look a lot better than the last time i saw you. are you feeling better?"

miss ma'am, i just spent a week immobile bc you refuse to do anything abt my autoimmune disorder, my joint damage/pain, & muscle issues. i can "look better" bc i wasn't seeing her & i wasn't *AFRAID* bc i wasn't supposed to see her. my entire demeanor changed when she started talking to me. i told her "im feeling a little bit better. but then again therapy with [therapist name] always makes me feel a little better." & she just...it just went right over her head.

the last time i was seeing her she told me she needed to give me "tough love" basically bc i ask for the same things over & over & she does nothing abt them so i come off as whiny & like im refusing to fix my own issues (as iff i didn't start working out, wearing inserts in my shoes, eating better, working on my posture, going to therapy, ect isn't trying to remedy or lessen some of my issues).

like what fucking medical professional thinks they need to give their disabled, under-serviced, abuse survivor patient "TOUGH LOVE"

for years & god damn years i was written off for all manner of reasons by medical professionals. it turns out im not just a fat, lazy pieace of trash & that's not the reason my back hurts. my motherfucking back hurts bc i have a very severe, special form of arthritis mixed with bursitis. in high school i "hurt" my back to the point i legit could not love over five times, each time i was just told i was too fat & needed to exercise. i lost over 100 pounds, worked out for my disibities, & protected my back. IT DID LITERALLY NOTHING TO RELIEVE ANY SYMPTIONS . what tough love do i need? when the world has been tough on me since day one.

the amount of "rare" issues ive had SINCE BIRTH (i was born with a literal one in a million skin disease that is a congenital birth defect except for IN ME THE WEIRD CASE where it was a mutation & there weren't genetic markers for the disease even though i had one of the most documented cases of the disease. i was born autistic & waved every single autistic red flag including the big one: delayed speech. the stomach issues i always had that were bc im gluten & soy intolerant that were again just blamed on my being fat & eating badly. theres so many examples i can keep going) is staggering & the majority of it has been ignored or misdiagnosed.

i just don't think i, or anyone else, deserve to get "tough love" from thier medical professional. ive had tough love all my fuckign life & its whats killing me. idk im just ranting now but i just dont understand how these fucking people can & are allowed to get away with literal abuse. i came from a truly abusive clinic, & while this new one isn't nearly as bad it's still abusive. my np is still abusing me by refusing to believe me & take care of me in a timely manner. my pain scale maxes out in the regular basis. i was standing at work today on only my right leg bc my left knee was so, so fucking painful i couldn't put pressure on it. when my move you can hear pops & cracks, & they dont stop. i just moive my shoulder & it makes loud sounds.

but yeah i just need to do more or whatever. im just a lazy piece of trash & my physical & mental state are just my fault. i wish i could break her legs & tell her to just keep walking. i wish i could get her career ruined bc she, & everyone else like her, is ruining my life. if i kill myself some day it wil, without a doubt, be a result of these things. i've lived my life for over twenty five year begging & pleading for help bc im hurting so fucking much. i used to pray that i'd have to be put in a wheelchair.

why is it okay for people to tell me live like this when they have the power to help? every medical professional ive ever had deserves to live a month in my life. in constant pain & nausea, unable to eat or sleep right, unable to do things normal folks can do. i hope & pray these people also wish for death. i hope they know my pain bc i fucking hate them & they deserve the horrible life i live.

#very negative #rant #cw mentions of abuse #cw mental illness #cw suicidal

[naussensei]

Sukiya AU Levi leaves work at exactly 5.07. It takes him five minutes to put away his papers, and another two to wipe the coffee stains off his table before he heads to the elevator.

Today however, he’s been looking at his watch since 4.40, and as soon as the smaller needle hits 5, Levi is up and sprinting towards the elevator. He needs to go home and change before the traffic becomes too heavy.

Once at the gym his anxiety spikes again for a moment. The guy who signed him up last week and showed him how to use the machines isn’t there. There are only a handful of men in their skin-tight sweatshirts lifting what seems to be like Levi’s entire body weight.

He tries to ignore the eyes on him and start his work out. 

On a second glance Levi recognizes one of them. The blond one was there yesterday too, and the day before yesterday; watching Levi fail at all his attempts to use the machines. At least he was polite enough to look away everytime Levi looked at him.

Blond is still there, sitting on a bench with some dumbbells; as handsome as yesterday. The way his biceps curl perfectly is almost ridiculous.

The handle of the machine suddenly slipped from Levi’s hands, causing a loud clang that echoed in the room.

Blond suddenly turns, catches Levi staring. He can see blond’s lips curving slightly upwards in a half smile.

Shit.

Blond’s looking at him now. Or maybe he isn’t. Maybe he’s looking at someone behind him. There’s not much to look at, after all. He’s all skin and bones. 

But now blond walks towards him. No- he’s definitely looking at him. 

Levi panics.

Please keep walking. Please keep walking. Please keep–

“Hey,” blond’s voice is deep and soft and gentle, which makes it all much worse.

Levi’s eyes are fixed on the floor, pretending to be focused on his workout. He knows he’s not. He also knows that blond knows. 

“Hi,” Levi manages, trying his best to keep his gaze away from the drops of sweat that fall down the blond’s plump naked breasts. He’s so fit it’s intimidating.

“I noticed you’re misusing this machine,” he stands gracefully, his weight on one hip as his arm rests on the machine, muscles popping in front of Levi’s face. 

What a prick, he knows what he’s doing. He’s done it before, surely.

“What’s it to you?” Levi says.

“Uh, I happen to work here. It’s my job to make sure you don’t get injured.” His bushy eyebrows rise, and there’s something sarcastic about it that makes Levi's blood boil. He blames it on the effort it takes to lift those god damned miserable 30 kilos. 

“Why aren’t you wearing any credentials?” He never does. Levi’s been watching him closely for the past few days. 

“I’m not on my shift. But they let me come early and exercise for free.” His smile is triumphant as he reaches for the handle that Levi is holding. “May I?”

His hand, massive and veiny, slides down to grip Levi’s hand; the other one behind Levi’s back, propping him to sit closer. Levi’s stomach drops.

Hands squeeze his shoulder and Levi lets out a gasp. “Thank you.”

Blond winks, his smile is mischievous, tempting, to the point of sickening. There’s something about this man that makes Levi want to scream but he doesn’t know why.

“Any time.” 

Blond turns to leave, but Levi stops him.

“Hey…” he says. “Have I seen you before?”

The blond chuckles, his smile is smug. “I don’t think so. I would’ve remembered if we did.”

Levi swallows. Is blond hitting on him now? That would be a first. He’s never been good at telling these things.

“I have a good memory,” the man clarifies, and Levi feels like an idiot, fears his anxiety is showing on his face.

“Oh,” it’s the only thing he can say. 

The way those golden eyebrows furrow unevenly seems too familiar to ignore it.

“No, no,” Levi says, “I’ve definitely seen you before.” he’s seen that smug smile. “You were at the U of Maria gala the other day, pretty sure it was you.”

Surprise flashes before the man’s bright blue eyes.

“Ah, yes,” he looks down, smiles, there’s some colour on his cheeks. His arm now rests against the machine, making Levi sink back a little. “You were there too?”

“I was there with my college friends.” Levi says. “So you were also a student there.”

“Yeah,” The man’s smile is now faint, uninviting. Levi takes it as the end of their conversation.

“Thank you for the tips,” Levi says, rising to move to the next machine.

“It’s no problem.”

“I’ll uh…” he raises a hand awkwardly, “ I’ll see you, then.” 

“See you.” The man turns, Levi watches him take a step, then turn again. “I’m Erwin, by the way.”

”Levi.” He offers his hand, which the man takes timidly, to Levi’s surprise, his handshake is softer than he expected. His smile is wide, charming. 

“Nice to meet you, Levi.”

More Than Meets the Eye

#Eruri #erwin x levi #college AU #Friends to lovers #mutual pining

[joshscrookednipple]

Cupid Screwed Up: Chapter 2

Summary: What happens when two rivals who chants even be in the same room together get paired up as soul mates for the rest of their lives..one thing they do know is that cupid screwed up.

Pairing: Josh Kiszka/Female OC

word count: 2,682

Warnings: Shitty editing, Vulgar language, angst, asshole josh, seizures, ambulances, mentions of negative body talk. (as always let me know if i missed anything!)

Not edited !!

A/N: before you read this here are a few things you need to know-

FND (functional neurological disorder) refers to a group of common neurological movement disorders caused by an abnormality in how the brain functions. some of the symptoms are-

Weakness or Paralysis

Abnormal movement, such as tremors or difficulty walking.

Seizures or episodes of shaking and apparent loss of consciousness

Episodes on unresponsiveness

i got diagnosed with FND about a year ago and i wanted to put a little bit of myself into Tara, feel free to message me if you have any questions. Enjoy!!! :)

have you ever seen those commercials where people screw up the most simple and idiotic tasks?

yeah

thats basically what happened here.

let me give you a little recap of what happened after i found out my impending doom. (aka getting josh as my perfect match) in bullet point form.

* i cried

* i threw my phone across the room and cracked it

* i stopped to feed clawdia because she looked hungry

* cried some more

* threw some more things

* surprisingly fell asleep

and now it’s the next morning and i’m matching my ass to the C.U.P.I.D headquarters and set things straight. i pull into the driveway that itself, probably cost a million dollars.

i step out of my car when i see another one pull up by me. i bet you can never guess who it was.

“So eager to see me aren’t you bunny?”

Wow. who would’ve guessed.

“i’m here to tell this fucking dumbass company that they fucked up our matches, not to tell them i want to conceive your kids and push them out of my fucking pussy this very second

he just stares at me and i swear i can see a glint of..something in his eyes but as soon as it came it was gone.

he locks his car as starts walking towards me which leads to me walking faster.

“You wound me bunny!!”

“at least Jake had the kindness in his heart to apologize to me last night. i heard he has a match..alexis is it? how does it feel that your twin brother is higher up than you” i spit out with my back still to him and a smirk on my face.

“yeah well if i had a match i couldn’t fuck all the girls i have been”

oh my god.

ew

i ignore him and open the door and..jesus it’s like i walked into one of those young adult dystopian movies. the floors are pristine white..well the entire building seems to be white with light red accents. fitting.

people were swooping around getting personality tested for their perfect match, some meeting their matcha for the first time. all of them seem so happy. i walk up to the front desk and the lady whose name tag i read says “Valentine” turns and smiles at me with this obnoxiously big smile that has obnoxiously perfect teeth.

“Welcome to C.U.P.I.D headquarters? do you have an appointment” she smiles stupidly at me and tilts her head.

“well no i-“

“did you call in before hand?”

“no-“

i can hear the snickers of my rival behind me.

“name and occupation”

“Tara and i really don’t see how-“

and of course she interrupts once again

“how did you find out about us?”

that’s when i lost it.

“how the FUCK would anyone not know about this place? it’s not like you all have advertisements fucking everywhere or anything!! sometimes i just want to shit in peace without having to see your fucking eyes staring into my god. damned. soul!”

i’m breathing heavily and i lick my lips looking at her expecting her to finally just maybe stop asking me stupid questions and worry about the real problem.

“you seem upset, do you want to do some breathing exercises?”

i throw my hands up in the air and josh is doubled over, his face red from him trying not to laugh. he’s clearly going to be no help so i turn back to valentine who i’m half convinced is a robot and take a deep breath.

“look” i start “i think you all made a mistake with my match. i go matched with this used paper towel back here, and i’m sure it’s a bug in the system but i would really appreciate if you would go and change it please”

i finish and give her a forced smile and a few minutes of silence goes by before she finally speaks

“there’s nothing we can do, C.U.P.I.D has a 100% acceptance rate”

“well apparently fucKING NOT”

a few heads turn to look at me and okay maybe just possibly i was over reacting but you don’t understand how dire this situation is. i grab my purse and push open the doors and gulp in a deep breath of air.

not even a minute later josh is by my side

“you should give up drawing and go into theatre bunny”

“fuck off”

i pull my jacket tighter around me when i look at my phone. greta it’s December 1st which means it’s the dreaded date night. i go into my car and slam the door before putting my head on the steering wheel.

one secret that i’ll take with me to the grave is that i have a debilitating crush on josh when i was in highschool, i mean god he was so fucking awful to me but at least he gave me SOME attention, my dad was always out with one of his side pieces and my mom would hide in her bedroom crying most nights. C.U.P.I.D swears by their 100% success rate, but if that was true why would i have to fall asleep to the sounds of my dad threatening bash my moms head in. is that truly what love is? because if that’s their definition of it, they need some serious fucking help.

the drive home was quiet except for the barely there self help podcast that was coming out of the radio of my car. i pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex and trudge up to my room, which felt like it took forever. as soon as i unlock the front door and open it i see sam sitting on the couch with maggie straddling his hips and their both in what seems like a life or death make out session. i slam my keys on the counter which makes sam jump slightly and for maggie to pull away and give me a huge grin.

“There’s my favorite girl! Are you so excited for your date with josh today” she coos and looks over sams shoulders at me

“just thrilled, also next time text me when you and long legs over here are going to fuck on the couch”

sam shoots his head around and smirks “i’m supposed to be the one giving nicknames bunny”

“actually Danny gave me mine, nice try” i laugh and ruffle his hair before going into my room and stand in front of the mirror before looking at my phone screen. it’s currently 12:30 in the afternoon which means i have about five and a half hours until the god forbidden date. i curl up in a ball in my bed and let myself fall into a dreamless sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I groan and sit up, stretching my arms up and rubbing my eyes before turning my alarm off. 4:30. that means i have to force myself out of bed and start getting ready. i use all of my strength to force myself out of bed and i rub my eyes and pad across the soft carpet into the cold bathroom and turn on the shower head onto the hottest setting before peeling my clothes off of my body and step into the shower that could be accurately described as bathing in lava. i quickly run through my shower routine, when i finish i throw my ratted robe on and throw my hair into a towel and that’s when i feel it start, i look down at my legs and see them shaking like how you see a leaf shake outside in the winter.

one of the first things i told Maggie about when i moved in was about my Illness, it’s called Functional Neurological Disorder..or as the doctors like to say..”something that’s all in my head”. i’m living with FND is like living in a constant hell, i don’t know if i’ll wake up with my arm paralyzed, or having a shaking episode. but you learn to adapt. i was diagnosed at 17 and got my first pair of forearm crutches* when i was 21 and found myself using them more often than not, but thankfully my medication has been keeping my shaking at bay, which is why my heart drops when i see my medicine container is empty.

shit.

i forgot to get a refill. i’ll be fine though. i always am.

i take a few deep breaths before doing a very quickly ran through curl routine and put on a swipe..or two..or three of mascara and smudge on my favorite deep red lipstick before grabbing my favorite dress, it’s a black velvet dress that goes mid thigh, i pair it with black tights and my platform doc martens and throw on a jacket to battle the cold water and rush out of the door and to my car. i have thirty minutes before i have to make it to the restaurant and luckily it’s right by my pharmacy, so i’ll just go in and grab my medicine and then go to the date and try not to kill Joshua. perfect plan.

until it’s not.

“that’ll be $250, do you want to use cash or card”

i almost have a shaking episode right there. i stare at the lady behind the pharmacist desk and hope, and pray for her to say this is some sort of sick joke.

“i don’t-“ i stutter and look at her “i don’t have $250..i barely have enough money for gas”

“i’m sorry ma’am but there’s nothing i can do” she apologizes and smiles a sad smile at me.

i look down at my shaking hands and chew on my lip and try to force back the tears that are threatening to fall down my cheeks. Maggie and Danny are the only two that know about this..so if anything goes wrong i can just call them. everything will be okay. right?

i leave the pharmacy and decided to use the fresh air to my advantage and walk to the restaurant when i see josh standing outside, his cheeks and nose pink from the cold. he’s kinda cute when he looks like that.

no he’s not Tara, snap out of it.

“your late.” he states and i look at my watch and roll my eyes

“only by two minutes, im going inside, you can either come with me or freeze your dick off out here”

he huffs and follows me inside where the hostess was clearly giving him “fuck me” eyes as she leads us to our table and takes our order, in which the whole, except when i order my food, she’s talking to josh.

after she leaves this smug bastard leans back in his chair and smirks “maybe i’ll take her home tonight, i mean did you see those tits?”

i scrunch up my nose and stab into my complimentary salad that little miss sexy had served us before she left.

“you could have tried a little harder on your appearance Bunny, people will be taking pictures yknow”

“says you” i huff as i push around my salad with my fork

“maybe i’ll just leave with our hostess and leave you here to wallow in your own self pity”

i decide my best course of action is ignoring him. but when do i ever take the best choice?

“why do you think these things about me” i whisper, my voice barley eligible.

the demeanor in him shifts and he, just for a moment, looks regretful for what he said. obviously that doesn’t last long.

“do you want me to lie to you Tara?”

that’s what gets me, that’s how it all started.

i push myself from the table and run into a single person bathroom and let my body fall down the wall. it starts with my right arm.

then my hands.

and legs.

and suddenly i’m having a full blown shaking attack, to those who don��t know what FND is, it would look like i’m having a seizure.

a sob breaks out from my lips as i fumble with my purse and until i finally grab my phone and click on Maggie’s contact and try to call her

1 ring

2 ring

3 ring

hey this is maggie! i’m out right now please leave a message at the beep!

beeeeep

i bite my lip and blindly click on danny’s contact, praying that he picks up.

1 ring

2 ring

“Hello?”

“d-danny” i mutter as i put my phone on speaker, not being able to hold it

“Tara? what’s wrong? aren’t you on your date?”

i mean he wasn’t wrong.

yes i was on my date, but i was also on the floor shaking so hard it feels like i might tear a hole into the floor.

“i am- but i ran out of my medication and i’m shaking- it hurts and it’s okay if you can’t come over but-“

“i’ll be there in five minutes”

that’s all he says before he hangs up.

Danny barges into the restaurant and starts passing josh’s table.

“Danny? what are you doing here” josh stands up, grabbing danny’s arm which causes danny to whip around and for josh to take a few steps back.

“what did you say to Tara” Danny asks

“what-“

“what did you say to her”

“nothing i-“

“well whatever you did. good fucking job”

josh furrows his eyebrows and follows a frantic danny to the bathroom, only to see me half laying down, half sitting up, shaking, and fading in and out of consciousness. danny quickly sits down behind me and pulls me in between his legs so my back is pressed up to his chest and my head falls back into his shoulder.

Danny was probably one of my best friends in every sense of the word, he was always so calm, gentle and..nice.

“hey bunny” he whispers as he brushes some hair from my face “i need you to stay awake for me pretty, you know if you pass out we have to call 911, and i know you don’t want that”

it’s true, whenever i pass out during a episode, more often than not im taken away in a ambulance and taken into observation for one to two days, it always helps when i get a cute paramedic though”

“s’fine” i mutter even though it was not fine, i let my head fall to the side and see josh staring at me with wide eyes and i give him a slurred smile “go see the hostess”

those are the last words i say before i black out and hear Danny curse.

“call an ambulance Josh” Danny orders but josh, looking like he’s frozen in time doesn’t follow his orders.

“JOSH” Danny yells again which seems to snap josh out of his trance before he calls 911 and soon enough paramedics are surrounding me and getting me on a stretcher. once i’m gone danny looks at josh

“i hope whatever you said was worth it”

“what happened to her- was it a allergic reaction or-“ josh stutters before danny huffs and cuts him off

“no you intolerable ass crouton, she has a disorder where if she gets too stressed or upset her body basically shuts down”

danny had never scolded josh to this extent and he couldn’t help but feel like a child being caught stealing a cooking by their mom, all he can think to do in look down at his hands.

“now what i’m going to do is go to the hospital and make sure she’s not alone, you can either come or stay. the choice is up to you”

danny leaves and josh just stands there looking at the spot where i had originally laid.

why did he say those things?

did he really think those things? no go course not.

it’s more of a coping mechanism he thinks. s way to keep his walls up.

but on a friday, on december first at 7:57, his walls has caused you to go to the hospital.

C.U.P.I.D’s 100% success rate my ass.

#danny wagner #greta van fleet #gvf fic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #josh kiszka fic #chrinic illness #lol omg #my eyes

[mixsethaddams]

Excerpt of chapter 6 of 8, from crushcrushcrush now posted on ao3. 

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, rated M, childhood friends to strangers modern AU, no archive warnings. Currently 38675 words.

///////////////////////////////////////

“So tell me, what’s your new year’s resolution?”

Steve considered the question from across the table carefully, as he watched the bubbles rise up through his glass of cider. They were almost two weeks into January and he still hadn’t decided on one. He had thought about all the usual dull things. Exercise more, eat healthier, find a new hobby. The first day back at school after Christmas break had started with god damn Janet practically trapping everyone in the faculty lounge to insist they all sign up for a half marathon in the summer, in aid of an oil spill clean-up in Alaska. The look she shot Steve when he pointed out that her own name was missing from the sign-up sheet could have curdled milk. So it looked like he would be spending some more time a treadmill at the very least.

The only thing Steve thought he needed to do was to stop thinking about Eddie. He had spent every night since he got back scrolling through the precious few messages they had shared since late-November, re-reading them and convincing himself that not being able to send any more was for the best. Steve missed being able to scroll through Eddie’s profile and spend a few minutes at a time lingering on his favourite posts. He often wondered if he had posted anything new over the last few days. There was probably a picture of that nice pink wedding invitation that Chrissy had showed Steve, with that date in April on display for everyone to see. Steve was happy at least that he wouldn’t have to see that, or any pictures of the wedding day itself. Not being able to see the picture of the engagement ring anymore was another plus-point.

“Apart from those glasses, I mean,” added Dax to fill in the gap left by Steve’s hesitation to answer.

“What, you don’t like my glasses?” asked Steve with a shy smile, pushing them up his nose.

Dax held up a hand in surrender.

“I never said that,” he said. “Just never knew you needed them,”

Steve bit the inside of his cheek. Of course Dax never knew he needed glasses. Steve had never stayed the night, so had never taken them out in the bathroom before bed, or put them back in when morning came around. Not having to worry about them back in Hawkins had been nice though, so Steve had been wearing his glasses a lot more since he got home. His students thought he looked like Harry Potter, which he tried not to take too personally. And his decision to wear them more often was absolutely nothing to do with Eddie’s comment about liking them. That’s for sure.

“Less screen time, I guess,” sighed Steve, not entirely lying and talking just a touch too low for the noise of the bar around them. “Delete Instagram maybe, be ‘more in the moment’,”

Steve used air quotes around the last four words. He usually wouldn’t have actually answered a question like this from Dax, he would have just shrugged and said something like ‘didn’t make one’, but he was trying to be more involved in what they were talking about. The whole reason Steve had finally agreed to a message asking to meet up, having come up with an excuse to avoid it almost every day since he arrived back in Boston, was to follow through with his plan to let Dax into his life just that little bit more. You know, to actively try and turn this into a date. Not just go back to his place after three and a half drinks, and leave twenty minutes after tossing the condom into the trash.

Steve kept opening his mouth to ask questions about Dax’s day, or to finally ask what he did for a living, but he lost motivation every time. It was like he couldn’t find the right jumping off point to suddenly start asking him about himself. Instead Steve just kept sipping his drinks like a particularly gormless fish. It seemed like a great idea at the time when he decided that he should put more effort into whatever it was they had, whatever it was they were doing, but in practise it didn’t seem so easy. Even with the effort he had managed to put in so far this evening, it was stilted. Like Steve didn’t realise until now that they really didn’t have too much to talk about, because they had never tried too hard to talk before. Did they even have anything in common?

Dax nodded from across the table and watched Steve take a very long a gulp of his drink. They were doing their usual Thursday night act of pretending to enjoy happy hour before ditching their fourth drink and going back to Dax’s place. They had just ordered their third. Cider in a pint glass. That was at least one thing they both liked. They both bought the same brand of condoms, there was a second. Steve was struggling to think of a third. He wasn’t sure a preference for cherry flavoured lube counted. Steve wished he hadn’t have mentioned Instagram, not with Dax’s follow request still sitting there unanswered. But hey, it was entirely possible that it had gone completely unnoticed anyway.

“Well it’s not like I’ve ever seen it to miss it if you do,” chided Dax with a gentle smile.

Or not.

Keep reading on ao3

#steddie #steddie fic #my fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #seth writes

[ryawinters]

When I was a kid, I once tried to fake injuring my ankle because I didn’t feel like exercising in school that day. I normally had no problem with it so my teachers instantly believed me and were very concerned. Except, this was the first hour of the day, and they were worried about me having to “suffer” the entire day in that stupid ankle. They asked me to take off my shoes and socks so they could apply some spray and what not. 

I WAS MENTALLY FREAKING OUT. I didn’t expect that much concern. I was so sure they’d figure out there was no injury because I didn’t injure myself. In my panic I forgot that I told them that my right ankle hurt and instead pointed at my left one for the spray. 

And, well.

My ankle was actually swollen. Pretty badly. My shoes had actually been a size too small, so I did always have some feet pain, but this time they ended up acting as a brace for my ankle for the entire time I’d been there. Apparently when I was playing badminton the previous evening, I’d moved my foot the wrong way. I remember hearing a pop, I remember ignoring it, I remember not feeling any pain until then. The teachers didn’t notice me freaking out and they were all wondering why I even came to school, though I insisted on staying for the rest of the day. Not that there was anyone at home to take me back at that moment, and both my parents’ workplaces was also pretty far away. My class teacher, who apparently lived very close to my house, ended up taking me home with her at the end of the day, because I couldn’t climb the school bus. 

It happened more than a decade ago, and I still require regular ankle massages to keep the swelling down. I have binders for both my ankles because somewhere along the way, with the years of putting more pressure on my right ankle, it decided to become a replica of my left ankle. Years of orthopaedics have yielded no results other than the fact that I managed to trigger a birth defect. That my sprain healed, but there had always been an intrinsic defect in both my ankles. That they would have to do surgery, to break my ankle bones, because the whole reason I am suffering is that they didn’t break, which my family doesn’t agree with, as it is not an exactly a life saving thing. Plus, I can’t afford to take the time off from my studies required for this surgery.

Here’s the thing though. A thing I 100% would not recommend, because I have a very crippling FOMO and always have the habit of assuming everyone doesn’t actually like me and are just pretending to if I keep making a fuss of my issues. 

I try so hard to not let it stop me from doing things that everyone else does. I see people playing football, and I want to as well. And I will go join them. My school’s annual sports meet? I am going to participate. In the relay race, in the running race, because I used to be the fastest and now I am the second fastest in my house team. The annual sports meet was the worst, because it began with 10 laps around the football ground, followed by the races and a basketball tournament. All in the same day. I came home, I sat down. I couldn’t get up. I needed my mom and dad to half carry me to bed because I could not walk. My ankles were balloons. I didn’t go to school for a week. 

In my wish to be left out, I ignored my body’s pleas for help. For a damn long time. The week I couldn’t move was like a wake-up call. I quit my karate classes, I quit all my sports. I did ankle exercises regularly to strengthen my ankle (they don’t work but I do them anyway). I am still doing my best to stop crossing my ankles.

So, my point is, listen to your body. It knows what is going on. Better than you ever will. Your physical health is very very important, because you can’t do shit if you’re dead. Mental health is very very important, but bad physical health eventually leads to bad mental health too. Listen to your body. Look out for its cries for help. God knows, we ignore them quite often in our day to day lives, for various silly little things. We shouldn’t let our bodies feel as ignored as we have been. 

#health #please take care of yourselves #i know i know nobody #but please if you see this #listen to your bodies #listen to your pain #physical health is important #mental health is important #HEALTH is important #stay safe #stay healthy