#look at my fucking umbrella

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: three drawings of Five, out of uniform and with slightly longer hair than usual (implied to be post-s3).

In one, he is wearing a trench coat over a suit and sunglasses, and drinking a giant coffee.

In another he is seated at a table looking at a mint chocolate chip milkshake but not eating it. He has his head propped up in one hand and looks tired. He is wearing a blue long sleeved shirt under an oversized, lighter blue t shirt, and cargo shorts. He has a giant ring of keys clipped to one of his belt loops. His hands are wrapped in bandages.

In the last, he is wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and is head down, arms sprawled on a table over several sheets of paper. He is surrounded by a stack of books and two cups of coffee. End ID.]

some light s4 speculation- probably five continues to be very tired but he gets to pick his own clothes about it! in drawing this i convinced myself that five should get to have a trench coat, and also that he should have a giant carabiner clip of keys - for all his siblings' living situations so he can break into their house at a moment's notice, and also steal their car.

#tua #the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #comic five gets to wear a trench coat i think show five should too #you can tell those are keys because i told you and not because i bothered to make them look like keys even a little. sowwy #the actual reason i think he should have all those keys is bc i want him to refuse to actually pick a sibling to live with #he is making himself All of their problems #maybe he is kind enough to provide them with a schedule. and maybe he is not #thats of course assuming they stay in each others orbit and dont fuck off into the corners of the earth like s3 implies that they do #but that bums me out we're 2012 avengers tower fandoming this shit #and as is tradition i almost forgot #my art

[marzipanandminutiae]

I love womanhood and I’m so happy that I am a woman. Sometimes that Cis+ high is so real

#personal #gender #it’s so good being a woman is so good #fuck I am incredibly glad I got assigned this at birth #immense love and respect to women who discover and claim their womanhood later #(other people looking down on my gender is not the fault of my gender. They have to change not me) #I couldn’t put my finger on what I love about the experience #which I guess makes sense because there is no universal experience of womanhood besides “hey I am woman“ #everyone is going to love it and feel themselves that way for different reasons #but it doesn’t matter because we’re all together under the umbrella regardless of what brought us there

[celecaster]

I do respect and commend people who are not paraphiliacs but try to be openly supportive because it's the type of decision that can come with a lot of harassment involved, and for a lot of people I know the mindset that 'you can't control a paraphilia but you can control the harm they cause' is like, the 101 of this sort of activism.

But we ought to move on to 102 at some point, right? This isn't even simply about paraphilias but about the larger discussion on sexual abuse: 'the harm they cause' is a reductive and inaccurate view that continues to perpetuate the idea that sexual abuse is caused by sexual desire.

That there is a wrong type of 'horniness' that makes people violate the autonomy of others, and therefore people who are oriented towards being 'turned on' by the wrong things are always implicitly more at risk than the people with 'normal' orientations: that we speak of paraphiliacs in terms of 'control' and 'avoidance', as if they were reactive dogs that need to be muzzled.

This view simply does not hold up when we compare it to other sexualities (and I think this is sort of another fundamental issue involved: people think that paraphilias are somehow morally 'distinct' from sexualities and thus speak of them in different terms and standards).

A man who sexually abuses a woman didn't abuse her because of his heterosexuality. A man who sexually abuses another man didn't abuse him because of his homosexuality. What you are attracted to is neither prerequisite for nor predictive of abuse, because abuse rests on factors like power dynamics, dehumanisation and the ability to get away with it first and foremost.

It is very surprising to me still that people who seem to recognise that abuse isn't about 'the victim was so hot that I couldn't resist' and that there are larger interpersonal and systemic factors at play still often speak of paraphiliacs in these terms (something to be controlled, something that causes 'urges', something that, even it doesn't 'make' you abusive puts you at risk of it). To me, it tends to reveal two things:

The first is, like I mentioned above, these people think there is a fundamental difference between 'sexuality' and 'paraphilia' in terms that are underlined by respectability politics. And I say this as somebody who doesn't actually consider being a paraphiliac as quite 'the same' as being queer/etc. (there are other sociopolitical differences that make me think this), but when you see the people who make these distinctions explain themselves:

'Liking the same gender is normal, liking [x] is not' 'Homosexuality isn't a mental illness though, I have nothing against the mentally ill but a paraphilia is a mental illness' 'Being queer doesn't give me urges to hurt people unlike a paraphilia' 'You don't need to "recover" from being gay, that's conversion therapy and it's also impossible! However I support paraphiles who are seeking help for their attraction!'

... the message becomes quite clear: people believe that there are identity markers that are inherently indicative of morality. That a paraphilia has to be distinguished from a sexual orientation because a sexual orientation is never a reason why a bad person is bad, but a paraphilia could be.

And the second, which I find more fundamental, is that these people don't talk to paraphiliacs. They 'want' to be activists so they will 'support paraphiliacs seeking recovery, don't bully them, don't threaten them!' but they will put paraphiliacs on their DNI as their personal boundary, 'for my own comfort.'

Look, I'm not here to tell people to interact or not interact with whoever, frankly it's none of my business. But I do think you need to consider what exactly you're trying to do when you say you want to advocate for a group you refuse to even talk to. Do you think you sound different from those people who say 'I don't care if you're gay, just don't be doing that in front of me'? If you won't talk to paraphiliacs, your idea of how paraphiliacs live come from stereotypes, call-out posts, and hyperpathologised psychiatric description, even if you think you're reading those posts in a Non-Judgemental Critical Thinking Immune-to-Propaganda Way.

Like I said, I do have some appreciation for people who take that 'first step' of at the very least recognising the harm in perpetuating the normalisation of threatening/harassing/etc. paraphiliacs, but there is often this kindness-as-concession undertone to it all when you see it spoken about in these controlled, pathologised ways. It feels very much like you don't think you're actually talking about real people, but you're talking about abstract concepts in a thought experiment where you side with the model that furthers your self-image of your ideological bent.

#d #paraphilia #this is also not even going into how people often have gut reactions to the literal word PARAPHILIA #like they'll be all 'kink at pride! furries are queer! fetishes are based!' #what do you think kinks and fetishes ARE? #a paraphilia isn't 'when the attraction is evil' #a PARAPHILIA is an umbrella term that INCLUDES KINKS AND FETISHES! #and if you're basing your beliefs this strongly on the reputation of the -arrangement of letters- I question how much you've 'educated' + #+ yourself despite those claims #'oh but if you Google paraphilia you see it means--' this is my point! #Instead of asking people who live like this what it means to them you're looking to shrinks from the 50s who want them to fuck off and die! #This is the shallow restrictive thing akin to 'well Google says transgender is when you have gender dysphoria' #Paraphiliacs have a life outside of pathology!

[aropride]

#text #if uyoure looking at this and going 'what the fuck prompted this' me and my friend have been arguing about umbrellas for months #this is her most recent stance on the issue #doing some ground research with a good samplr size

[phoenixmetaphor]

Oct 5 - RE:tober - weaponless

#my fanart #leon kennedy #october art challenge #re:tober #catboy!leon #au in which gene splicing is developed fairly early #and umbrella develops feline anthros as a companion/subservient race #but oh no they fight for their rights #and begrudgingly society nominally grants them #then umbrella rebrands and fucks around with viruses as per the usual #feline!leon is an easy target for the government post raccoon city #who is going to miss a cat #except for claire of cos #instead of being overly literal with the prompt today #we are using it as the thinnest of thin excuses to do whatever we were going to do anyway #but look no weapons #kind of #pilot cm nib #yama budo ink #posting with less than 30 minutes to midnight lolz #kitty!leon

[thehargreevesfam]

Guys I want Five to have the power to stop time so badly. I firmly believe he should be able to. This power should be something well within his abilities

He rewound time in s2…and this was different from when he usually time travels. This time, he wasn’t just some passive traveler travelling from point A to point B, he was directly manipulating time, controlling it. He was literally unravelling the timeline. AND if he really was the founder of the commission, he must’ve had a hand in creating the briefcases. I assume that’s what the handler used to stop time in s1. But this power wouldn’t be time travel, it’d be time manipulation

FIVE SHOULD BE ABLE TO STOP TIME

#the founder five thing supporting my argument is the only good thing to come out of that plot line #MAKE IT HAPPEN BLACKMAN IM BEGGING YOU #I’d give anything for it omg #number five #five hargreeves #the umbrella academy #it’s just so annoying how we’ve had three seasons of this show and five still hasn’t mastered time travel?? seriously? #and the cinematography in a scene where five stopped time would look so fucking epic #it always does when he uses his powers

[end0r4]

Ned Kelly's final words as the hangman slipped the noose around his neck were

« Such is life. »

Such is life. Can you imagine the acceptance, the defiance?

Ian Mcshane as Winston in John Wick 4 (2023)

#ian mcshane #winston #winston scott #winston john wick #mr manager #john wick 4 #look at him #slaying on the couch #serving c while watching the sunrise #sad puppy eyes #walking around with that big ass umbrella #wearing sunglasses #he gave EVERYTHING #we love to see #NOT TO MENTION HOW HE STANDS WHILE JOHN AND EVIL FRENCH GUY CHOOSE HOW TO FIGHT OR THE FUCKING TATTOO #you guys have no clue how long it took me to post these screens #but it was all worth it #also sorry for bad english and probably low quality i swear i did my best #my screenies #stgedit #ok bbye kittens

[miss-tribbiani]

If someone has to die it better be fucking Reginald (I can do it!)or Allison because god I cant stand her...

IF THEY KILL DIEGO I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN!!!!

#the umbrella academy #tua season 4 #teaser #theyre my babies #fuck reginald #look at them #I will 100% sob the whole season #i cant believe this is it

[captainjonnitkessler]

Me: surely the "just say Christianity!!!" crowd couldn't get any MORE annoyingly smug and self-righteous in their quest to pretend that Christians are literally the only people who have done anything wrong ever

An Israel supporter about to baldly claim that only Christians have ever perpetrated a genocide: hold my beer

#i mean good god that wouldn't be even CLOSE to fucking true even if israel WEREN'T committing a genocide right now #absolute fucking brainrot #tumblr. tumblr i am holding you by the shoulders and looking deep into your eyes #what the FUCK did i like that made you think i would want to see that in my 'based on your likes' feed #atheism #skepticism umbrella

[skitskatdacat63]

When I was looking at 2009 earlier, I could not help but notice the thumbnail of the highlights vid for the next race...

#sitting in public staring at my screen with an unhinged expression #looking at it like 'no way no fucking way did they make that the fucking thumbnail' #f1tv approves of webbonso 😄👍 #BUT SERIOUSLY #and these arent technically highlights of the race they're called the 'story of the season' #if thats the thumbnail do they talk about the umbrella event??????? #webbonso #mark webber #fernando alonso #formula 1 #f1 #f1 2009

[dykefive]

we don’t talk enough about allison’s s3 jumpsuit…

#god she’s so hot #@emmy you can call me anytime my number is 123- #also. we don’t talk about her throat scar enough #remember how she almost fucking DIED #if you saw this posted a few weeks ago on instagram first… no u didn’t #i’m bad about remembering to post to both #s3 allison had her ups and downs but lord have mercy. she looked good doing it #if you rb this i’ll give u a kiss (chocolate or real) #(your choice) #drew this last april and have just gotten around to posting it now #allison hargreeves #allison hargreeves fanart #tua #tua fanart #the umbrella academy fanart #art art art #.k #.k art

[supercantaloupe]

truly detest how pcos tags/forums/etc are absolutely crawling with terfs

#(okay to rb but stay in your lane) #maybe i just want to look and see if anyone else has experienced what i went through today without seeing someone going like #'you'll never be a REAL woman because you DON'T HAVE OVARIES #and will NEVER understand the TRUE WOMANLY EXPERIENCE of having A VERY DISRUPTIVE AND COMPLEX ENDOCRINE AND METABOLIC DISORDER' #like i think there are more important (read: actual) targets to direct our frustration at here than #[checks notes] getting mad at a trans woman for saying she relates to some of the problems caused/faced by having pcos #like. idk. the fucking medical system and lack of research/treatment options #(also. christ. reducing every person w pcos into the 'woman' category automatically bc 'ovary'. #even though it's literally an intersex condition. yikes.) #also i don't know about y'all but i don't wish this on anyone? regardless of gender?? #i actually don't want trans women to have to experience this in order to be considered a True Woman #because i don't want ANYBODY to have to experience this. it sucks! it's not fucking fun! #i just wanted to try and see if other people have gone through the same thing i have. not expand my blocklist by half a mile tonight. #i wanna talk about me #even though i didn't exactly find what i was looking for (😔) and i had to play fucking whack-a-terf while searching #if there's any bright side to be found it's the number of posts/people affirming pcos as an intersex condition/identity #i saw someone say 'if you don't want the [intersex] umbrella for yourself you don't have to take it #but it's nice to have in the closet for a rainy day' #and. man. yeah.

[chaos-and-cookies]

I may be stupid and this may be tmi but just in case someone else didnt know this, APARENTLY HAVING A MESSED UP PH BALANCE IN UR COOCH CAN GIVE U WEIRD COLORED DISCHARGE????? I'VE BEEN HAVING THIS ISSUE EVER SINCE I GOT ON BIRTH CONTROL AND THE DOCTORS NEVER TOLD ME THIS???? My current one said i should eat more yogurt/probiotics but didn't explain why???? So i never ate it consistently to see if it made a difference???? I always thought a messed up coochie ph meant you could be itchy or smelly or something and since i never rly dealt with that that often i didnt think to look up if my issue was a ph thing but aparently it is!!! So now im gonna take my happy ass to the grocery store to get a bunch of probiotic yogurt and see if this will be the answer to my 4yr long problems 😭

#this is REALLY tmi but my discharge has been rly yellow for years and i never understood why but after looking up the ph thing #and seeing the exact issue im having for once listed under ph issues I'm so mad but happy i finally have an answer 😭 #ppl with pussys pls do research and ask all the questions cuz even the simplest things can end up fucking u up for years cuz no one thought #of it 😭😭😭 #pussy problems #womens health #not trying to be trans exclusive but this is just an umbrella term to tag it for im sorry 😭 #vaginal health

[aceywhomps]

random arts i sent in the goldric discord server LMAO

can you tell im obsessed with him yet?

#toh hunter #trans hunter #yes i hc him as trans because uh #im technically trans?? im nonbinary so. umbrella term ig #a-knee-wae #ace's doodles #goldric #the owl house #hunter gives me sm gender envy istg #i want to look like him so badly #he's the fucking definition of the gender i wanna achieve #i use my artistic skills as a means to give hunter his deserved pretty boy privileges uwu #flaunts bitten up nails and graphite covered hands #hru bbg wriggles eyebrows/j #im so funny #also #HUNTER IN A FRILLY SHIRT + CORSET #THAT WILL BE ALL PERIODT

[nariko-senpai]

OMG WHEN BEN WENT INTO VIKTOR TO SAVE HIM AND SAID ALL THAG STUFF AND WENT TO HEAVEN ALMOST MADE ME UGLY CRY WHY DID NO ONE WARN ME?

#im looking at you ua fandom #broke my fucking heart #ugly crying #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #the umbrella academy

[linpunny]

funny how all your men have ugly hair💀

Funny how your man toji prolly don’t shower 😌

#the soul whore: pasi #LEAVE THEY HAIR OUTTA THIS TAIJU AND HIS UMBRELLA LOOKING HAIR IS FINE AS FUCK AND YOU KNOW IM YANKING IT ANYWAY #Draken didn’t do nothing to you leave him aloneeeeeeeee that’s my pookie he’s perfect I’ll lick his egghead up