#look at me finally bringing this back

[amethyst-crowns]

Eddie ft. my closet

day two: borrowed pjs

(tattoo inspo from this post by @strangersatellites ^)

#look at me finally bringing this back #those tiny shorts are some of the comfiest pants i own and i feel like eddie would love them in the summer #and the shirt might not be his but all my old frat shirts were never originally mine either so #but in this little world steve is a lil frat boy and eddie loves a comfort color shirt #sleepy lil grump #also took some tattoo liberties cause why not #eddie munson fanart #eddie munson #i draw things #eddie as my dress up doll

[pallanophblargh]

Just an unimpressed looking Qiara portrait to channel my current mood. This month do be getting me feeling like that.

It’s hard to render an imaginary creature realistically, but I tried!

#pallanophs #Qiara #personal character #sketchbook #creature design #graphite #she really does have resting bitch face but it’s valid #and so do I in a way #at least she looks nothing like me lol #not sure if I will ever be able to render her mane in a less hairlike fashion #oh well? #yeah I finally did my taxes and it’s disproportionately dumb as usual #all good though back to being anxious about every other thing #also it is fucking boiling out and I hate it #bring back the snow and the cold

[shopwitchvamp]

For anyone smart enough to have fully given up on twitter already, here's what's going on over there today:

Interesting choice.. generally isn't social media's goal trying to get people to stay & keep scrolling for as long as possible??

Anyway, regardless, hello & welcome to the newest batch of Twitter refugees! I promise it's a LOT more enjoyable to be here on Tumblr.

#looks like it's about time for me to bring back Elon Musk yaoi snow shovel #Twitter #what a mess #I'm about ready to finally give in and stop wasting time posting there

[milkbreadtoast]

new Siwon doodle (OC)... I think I finally figured out how I want to draw his hair😳 I like how this came out hehe...🐶 excited bc i was able to solidify his design more...!!🥹

#wanted to bring back some of the cuteness from my initial drawing of him... #but implement some of the changes he's had since then... i think I succeeded YAY ^__^🧡 #i think i finally struck a good balance btwn curly and straight w his hair... #and fluffy and soft... but not too fluffy that its like way too big?? #i also got rid of the mullet (longer hair on neck) for sure... imagine that its p short in the back #i used to draw his hair poking out under his ears but got rid of that #also happy bc his hair doesnt look too similar to how i draw milk cookie KDJS that was bothering me a lil... phew #some more small changes: #slightly thicker eyebrows #as well as a more solidified eye shape (eyelash wings/sharp ends) #+ made his base skin hair and eye color imperceptibly darker #+ incorporated the larger frame that ive been drawing him with lately KFJSKD #he rly underwent detwinkification ig... #milkcookiefication... #my art #OC #baek siwon

[mattodore]

very slowly getting somewhere with ria... also fangs <3

#river dipping #alessandria zeferino #lykos #ts4 #bc of this messed up body preset taking screenshots of them in cas is definitely gonna be relegated to just closeups #this was their old hair from when i first made them back in 2022... i kinda wanna bring it back i think #they had super long hair from how long they'd been shifted after they traumatically ascended to the alpha... #they probably don't get it all cut off until dionte joins the pack #and mmmmm... these are only temporary scars!! i will definitely be making my own scars for them like i'm doing with matthias #ocs gotta have this stuff customized to me #also the reflection of the moon in their eyes…. mmmyeah i had to do that. i kinda want to add it to delphi and dionte’s sims now too. #werewolf ocs…. grabs them. shakes them. #but anyway… this is where i’m leaving off on their sim tonight 👍 #i’m going to read and finally go through my activity from earlier #and maybe edit a bit on these mattodore pics from the other day #tomorrow i will be back in cas toiling away for their sim 🧎 #their jawline… i need to figure out how to get it looking like how i want #without them having a huge chin #and without the mxao making everything look weird

[mokeonn]

One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.

The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.

#simon says #i just developed a new habit (it's too tmi to put here) and I just know that it's some weird shit #it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it #but it's some shit that would end up viral where everyone would go 'yo op you should break up with them thats weird' 😔 #i was just thinking about this though because every week or so I learn that I can just do what I want #because there's no fucking object use police I can do what I want #i HIGHLY suggest getting into this habit. if you find something annoying or frustrating you can just do it differently #'I hate washing the dishes because my legs hurt from standing for so long' you can bring a chair and sit or you can break it up into chunks #like on the one hand I'm learning this because I have autism and a plethora of other mental disorders #and it's FINALLY clicking that I can self accommodate whenever and however I so please #I'm just sorta learning that if doing something makes me feel better/happy/gets the job done to do that thing #even if it requires using an object in an odd way #hell there's even some little things I've been playing with #for example: my whole life we sorta just lifted blinds only about halfway up #just sorta how we did it ya know #well recently I decided I wanted more natural light in the sunroom/my office so I wouldn't have to turn on the lamp #and I lifted the blinds all the way up to the very top #and honestly?? it fucking rules. the room looks nicer; i get natural light; i can see the forest out back and it's quite calming and nice #like for ages I just never thought about doing that because it just never occurred to me that I could #i just always put blinds about halfway up because that's about how high blinds do in my household #another little one I learned is that I can just... wash my hair #sometimes when I get too depressed or if my body doesn't need a shower but my hair is greasy #I just shove my head under the bathtub facet and wash my hair #it's just a small thing but for years if my hair needed to be washed I would just take a full shower #now I just fix my greasy hair. bc greasy hair is a huge ick for me but sometimes my body is still clean or im too tired to fully shower #like there's nothing stopping me from doing that and it doesn't hurt anyone. it's just a way of bathing that I wasn't taught #but yeah those are some recent examples of me learning I can just... do stuff differently #the free will is kicking in babes and it has decided I love finding ways to use things differently #it's why im doing a bg3 run where I just press loot all no matter what and use whatever I can in odd ways #anyways I might delete this later might not who knows

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

#look ok #i see all the cute little fics with xl and hc talking about becoming parents and etc etc #and that's cute! that's adorable!! let them be happy!!! #but. you have to admit ok. hualian need to work through their own problems #like c'mon. xl picks up like AT LEAST three kids in the book and then proceeds to forget about one on his shelf for a while #just kinda. stands judgmentally with his hands on his hips about guzi and qi rong (it's really funny though don't get me wrong) #and after finally re-capturing lang ying he's like 'i'm gonna guardian you!' and then a whole bunch of shit happens and uh well #ly turns out to be the ghost of some kid xl traumatized 800 years ago come back for vengeance (L) #which means xl traumatized him multiple times lmao #we aren't even touching qi rong and lang qianqiu which YES i know the latter wasn't xl's fault and i am fully aware that the situation with #qi rong is and was complicated. BUT. come ON man can these poor kids never catch a break? the one kid he DIDN'T accidentally traumatize #turned out to be obsessively in love with him so like maybe this is for the best? #anyway i also just don't think they'd be... genuinely interested in a commitment like that? like hc would go along with anything xl wants #but he doesn't seem the type to be interested in kids (he's mostly just interested in xl) #xl isn't off the hook either ok #people bring up hc's treatment of e'ming but xl isn't exactly a saint to ruoye. i dont blame the guy he's got a lot on his mind #but he's also very.... absent #plus with the responsibilities of their respective positions all their extra time is like. spent on eachother jk? #this isn't to say xl doesn't *like* kids or anything i just don't think he would want to be a full-time parent lmao #also they DEFINITELY have their own issues with themselves as kids and i'm afraid that might translate into like. parenting #meme #tgcf #mxtx meme #tgcf meme #xie lian #hua cheng #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan zhan

[star--anon]

for the ship hc ask!!

thominho (surprising ik)

5, who’s usually the big spoon and the small spoon in the relationship?

8, who’s the early bird and who likes to sleep in longer?

21, how do they cheer each other up during sad times?

hello there!! /ᐠ≽•ヮ•≼マ Thank you for the obligatory Thominho ask, hehe ✧˚₊‧

(fair warning: lots o' ramblin')

5 – big spoon Thomas my fucking belovedd. I think Thomas naturally adopts the protector role and Minho had it shoved onto him for too long, so the idea of Thomas spooning Minho in Paradise is simply mouthwatering

8 – early bird's gotta be Minho, courtesy of being a Runner. He also likes watching the sun rise over the sea, the way the water glistens gold, and how Paradise hums to life as the Immunes gradually wake up. (Also Thomas will smack Minho's face like the snooze button on an alarm clock whenever he tries to wake him up)

21 – Thomas really likes cuddling/physical intimacy so, when he's sad, Minho gives him little kisses and hugs throughout the day. Probably settles down with him on the couch, cuddled under a blanket (that he put in the dryer for 10 minutes to warm up), eating ice cream and watching a shitty rom-com movie.

21 – Minho likes spending time with Thomas and just being reminded (not necessarily directly) that Thomas loves him. So when he's down, Thomas drags him out to the coast for a walk. They hold hands and talk about anything and everything and nothing at all, meaningless conversations full of love. They watch the sun set, and they watch the water glisten gold.

#(this post is specifically romantic!) #I broke up 21 because it was such a thick paragraph and was hard for my eyes to read T^T #ALSO for 5 – Minho says in the books ''the best should be the Keeper'' which makes me think that he accepted the job of being #the Keeper of the Runners when Alby offered it to him simply because he was objectively the best Runner. and it wasn't until much later tha #he noticed how the Runners looked to him for support. and if he was sad or hopeless then EVERYONE was sad and hopeless. so he had to #keep himself hopeful (''bring back hope'' and all that) and optimistic even if he had his own doubts. never showed exhaustion etc. etc. #whereas Thomas wants nothing more than to protect his friends and finally be guaranteed a life with no more of WCKD's deception and games #so... yeah. Just reeeeeally in love with big spoon Thomas. He just wants to hold and protect Minho (╥ᆺ╥；) #thominho #tmr Thomas #tmr Minho #maze runner #headcanons #ask game #I don't take constructive criticism because I'm not wrong

[bmpmp3]

man in his mid 20s who says tee hee

#art #traditional art #watercolour #oc art #ocs #oc group: lia crystal darling #oc: bibi #I DREW THIS a while back u can see the date in the corner LOL but i didnt scan it because it was like #a tiny little drawing from a tiny little watercolour paper pad and i. lost it JHKDSDds i forgot i had it #BUT I FOUND IT AGAIN so i scanned it finally ~ #today i had a slightly wretched critique in one of my classes. kinda incomprehensible. oddly harsh with very little actionable advice #i think ive been really lucky in school with critiques at least post secondarily. most have been very useful and fun and interesting #even if i dont find all the advice useful usually i can at least glean something like a communication issue or something im having #but this one was wack as FUCK only advice i got was basicaly all the work u did sucked u should just redraw year old unrelated work instead #my professor seems to think im on the right track tho i think it was just the TAs who came out the gate swinging LOL #theyre like my age so maybe theyre just overwhelmed about trying to lead a critique like this i think theyre new at it #so i'll try not to be too discouraged but MAN.... so now. i need to post drawings of my anime boys to bring me back down to earth #look at my anime boy. he even has hair covering one eye <3

[themagicalghost]

After playing TTR for some time and getting used to the odd feel of a lot of aspects of this server I think it's actually quite fun, so I'll definitely be playing more of it

#I'm looking most forward to the Sellbot Task Force thingy so I can finally see that one boiler #It intruiges me #toontown rewritten #ttr #toontown #toonblr #I think my favourite aspect about this server is the gardening and that you can have a doodle #I hope TTCC will be able to successfully bring doodles back someday because they're neat #I have a doodle named Peachy but I realized she looks like a shrimp so I'm gonna rename her to that when I have enough jellybeans #Oh by the way this won't mean that I'll stop playing or talking about TTCC #My toony heart belongs to the funny manager cogs

[grumpy-nyks]

The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - Agnes edition

Who would have thought? 🤭

Agnes "Nes" Sigrún 🌑RO: James Corvin

Personality: sincerity // cautious // friendly // merciful Traits: heart // compliance // believer Past affinity: writing [horror stories] Primary ability: empathetic impressions Past susceptibility: receptive

☀️Fernweh: She never really thought about leaving Fernweh… It was her place, near her family and friend(s). She felt good there and assumed she’s gonna spend her whole life happily in this little town. Even if Fernweh brings back devastating memories, she’s curious about what’s happening in Fernweh now, in her true home. It’s always been her dream to work in Turn The Page, and during her ‘short’ stay in Fernweh, she started thinking about it again. Why not stay for longer…? She would love to carry on her grandfather’s work and bring his legacy justice. 

☀️Grandpa Jóhann: When she was young, she had an amazing relationship with her grandpa. They were completely honest with each other, and she loved him wholeheartedly. Some people thought that making her grandpa proud was her main hobby. She used to tell him all about her dreams that she had, which were always wild... and also about the nightmares… It took her by surprise when her grandpa, one of the most important people in her life, started being less involved. She was hurt and began to wonder if she had done something to cause the distance between them. His decision to move her out of Fernweh so quickly after this tragic event made a huge impact on her mental state. She needed time to cope and be with her closest ones, especially her grandpa...but after all she didn't blame him. She often heard that she looked exactly like her mother…like her grandpa's daughter... She assumed he could not look at her, without thinking about her... And she could not blame him for wanting to escape that pain. Agnes knew it was the best thing that her grandpa could do for him, and she accepted it, too eagerly. She always too eagerly took the blame for everything.

☀️Beckett Warrick: After what happened in Fernweh after James she had even more trouble interacting with other people and making new friends… However, Beckett was an exception. He was the first person who got to truly know her after the events in Fernweh. When she got the letter about her Grandpa, she considered hiding the truth from him, because she knew deep down that he would be there for her if she needed him… even if he would not particularly enjoy it. It's a good thing she’s such a bad liar… Her main concern is about Beckett’s well-being. She noticed that this 'little' trip made a huge impact on him. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and it’s because of her that he–... She needs to make sure that nothing happens to her friend. And she will somehow manage to bring him back to his home.

☀️Reese Verner: They had an unconventional relationship. Reese saw her as a rival, while Agnes thought of him as a friend. She was confused about why Verner, someone of great importance, would even look at her see her as a rival. She knew there were better candidates for his games. She had only one question on her mind - “why?”. Despite Verner's playful teasing, Agnes always remained polite and friendly towards him, even when he attempted to push her boundaries. Girl knew how to keep her true feelings behind a warm smile she still does. If I can be completely honest… Agnes was rather shocked that Reese still remembered her… and was actually looking for her, which sounded so unbelievably. His concern for Milton's well-being made her see him in a slightly different light. Of course, she already knew Reese had a good heart, but his behaviour really touched her. Additionally, Agnes noticed that Reese and James’ relationship became stronger and deeper… It’s for the best. James deserves someone as dependable as Reese. He will always be there for James. 

☀️Sofia Dorran: Their bond was formed over a shared admiration for books and... the color blue. It may sound funny now, but these things became central to their lives and deepened their friendship. Sofia was the first person Agnes entrusted with her writing, and valued her honest feedback, knowing that Sofia would not make her feel bad if something needed improvement. They frequently borrowed books from each other's collections. Agnes yearned for the days when she and Sofia had reading sessions together, sipping on their favorite beverage. The only issue back then was when the book ended poorly or their library didn't have any new positions for them to read. She's willing to know how Sofia's taste toward books shifted (if shifted) and how she changed as a person. She's also extremely grateful because her grandfather received constant care from Sofia and her mother.

🌑James Corvin: …Do I really need to tell you that James was her first crush? And that she never found the courage to tell him so? maybe now will be the time? Agnes and James were always together, wherever one went the other followed. They were inseparable. Agnes even used to bake oatmeal cookies for James with her mother's help. They dreamed of their idyllic life together. As friends, obviously. Seeing him again after all those years was much harder than she anticipated. Agnes felt overwhelmed with stress from the moment she stepped out of her car. Every time she heard his surname, she unknowingly flinched. Her mind was full of questions about his well-being, life, and changes. She couldn't help but wonder if he would be happy to see her. …she did manage to hold his hand for a moment, I can consider it as a success

☀️Alex Corvin: Agnes has always looked up to Alex for their adventurous spirit and their willingness to embrace life to the fullest. She has always wanted to adopt a bit of Alex' wild side. Whenever they are around, boredom and dullness seem to disappear. They both share similar values and support each other's life goals. If I would say which person Agnes was the most willing to meet during her stay in Fernweh that would be Alex. She was confident in their friendliness towards everybody and was sure that their kindness had not wavered. Agnes was touched when she heard that Alex was looking after her grandfather's bookstore… It appears that Beckett has a new admirer, which Agnes wholeheartedly approves of.

☀️Mal: Agnes has a sense that Mal might be suspicious, but she is quite naive and doesn't believe that he could mean trouble. Although she is wary of him and finds him a little untrustworthy, Agnes believes in being kind to everyone, and she is willing to give Mal a chance, not judging him by her own impressions of him.

☀️Goldie: Agnes is grateful that her grandfather had a furry companion like Goldie, who probably managed to brighten his spirits. She fondly recalls how her grandfather would tell her stories when he once had a dog, when he was younger and how his eyes would light up with joy as he shared his story. Agnes is committed to taking excellent care of Goldie and ensuring her safety.

#don't get me started how she is BLAMING herself for the situation Beckett is rn. she needs to go back for her theraphy sesions right away #that's why she went with him into the woods looking for Milton and not James even so she wanted to spent every single second with him :sob: #she's conflicted. being with James is something that she dreamed of but in her opinion he deserves someone better //obviously// #...that's why she's cheering for James and Reese lol. Look she just wants James and Reese to be happy and she can see how those two care of #-each other. She's happy : ) #she's an idiot 🙂 #is there a potential happy ending for the three of them..? maybeeee. we'll see what the story will bring 👀 #im totally confident that Sofia and Agnes had their own shared little library #Agnes wrote a poem for James when she was young but it wasn't really her forte. that's why she showed it to Sofia because she knew she will #-help her. //Agnes didn't want to tell for who it was but Sofia figured it out anyway. they both knew that the other knew but weren't- #-talking about it out loud. XD it was hilarious -- for me and I assume Sofia but Agnes was terrified. XDD// #....cough James never saw this poem anyway cough... #I have this headcanon that Agnes made up amazing horror stories that James was willing to hear (for a bunch of oatmeal cookies) when- #-they had a sleepover //those stories were from her nightmares but she never said that to James knowing he would only worry about her// #btw her parents called her 'little star' and James must have heard it and (maybe?) asked Sofia to make a necklace... Sun and Moon. #did you know that Agnes had her piece of the Sun as her necklace for the WHOLE TIME. but she hid it away under shirt... x"D she was looking #-if James had his Moon somewhere... but she did not see it. anyway she wears it always. #omg i finally made it. there's also one in my drafts nearly finished and three more to go. XD #sooo curious about book two <3 #fernweh saga #my art? #Spotify #oc: agnes sigrun

[feisaru]

@soccerpunching you're genuinely one of the best people I've met here bc you like almost every media I like

Apropos fighting. Remember when Adora jumps on Catra at Prom. Just them rolling on the floor. I wanted to draw that but didn't get round to it. The scene had such an energy

#im so so glad you like those hah #but anyways catradora and feisaru are two v personal and important ships 2 me #would you believe me if I told you I've sorta felt like drawing them in suits again #a few weeks ago #both manspreading #the problem is my head is so full of ideas and i actually suck at drawing and am slow and so my brains fastness overwhelms me sometimes #oh also im sick AGAIN so efficiency goes put the window #i also have a song that i associate w the prom redraws in particular #if i do the manspreads ill bring it up #im a bit conflicted abt the prom redraws. i used to really like them #but theyre over a year old now and its showing #how my drawings looked back then doesn't really resonate w me but the dip stays iconic #BECAUSE #i didn't think about saru's n fei's bodies any different back then. but my brain has this thing #where it distorts my drawings and makes them look broader than they really are in my head? and #then i look at the drawings again after a month and it goes holy shit last time i looked you werent looking like stickmen #but im better than this now #my drawings cause me less eye cancer now #i wanna get that violet suit finally. have wanted it for years #also that one thing where saru gets manhandled. it originally had more blush #man im not rereading im going to sleep

[pyrriax]

more lavius for today 💪 (wip possible new pfp? we'll see)

#haunted ecosystem #the warmup i did made me giggle it looks so goofy but also it was a reminder Why i warmup first. #apparition sketchbook #lavius gets more traditionally fem details the more i draw him and i think its funny #ALSO the flowers are intended to be a reference to my fav movie ever (night on the galactic railroad) it'll b more obvious colored #ALSO bringing back how i used to draw on chickensmoothie of all things. erase those base lines and just use the sketch instead of lining #its so much easier and i sketch clean enough these days it works #finally broke the habit of petting lines to hell and back aside from like. the initial circle #honestly ive made so much progress just in switching to drawing humanoids #can i draw hands? yeah if i really want to. but also its objectively funnier to just use paw approximation instead since it reads

[mattodore]

Did Matthias do anything illegal in his life? What I mean is morally unacceptable behavior that hurts people. If so, why did he do that?

I mean, has he killed someone? Has he beat someone up? How many times has he done it or has it only been occasionally? Do people find him rude? Should people be afraid of him?

I’ve said this about Matthias before, but he’s someone who’s had violent thoughts and urges ever since he was a child. I do think there’s a possible genetic factor at play there, but I also believe that the way he grew up left something chasmic in its wake, this gouge in his chest that he’s been clawing at ever since. Matthias was severely neglected as a child and his development was… slanted, for lack of a better word. There’s something warped in his head, you know? He’s a product of his upbringing.

To give you a picture of Matthias’s childhood, I want to make it clear that he never had any toys. His nursery was nothing more than a crib in a room. No bright colored walls, no alphabet blocks, no pop-up books. He didn’t play, or… not like most children, at least—not how you’d normally picture a child playing. His childhood was spent alone despite the sheer number of staff on the grounds of the estate. If Matthias reached for a hand or wanted comfort from a nanny or another member of the staff, he’d be pushed away. There was no emotional or physical warmth in the Evanoff household and a harsh line had been drawn between Matthias and everyone around him, including his parents, who he saw no more than a handful of times when he was young. What little socialization Matthias had was… well, it was nothing more than giving orders to attendants or having discussions with his tutors about the subjects he was studying. The staff were forbidden from interacting with Matthias more than was strictly necessary and the effect that had on him can’t be understated.

You can see, then, these early building blocks for cruelty being laid out. As a precocious child whose only real social connection with others was formed through analysis and study, it only made sense that Matthias found himself reaching for the books in his father’s library whenever he could, and through that those very same blocks began to stack. Play for Matthias was deconstructing humanity through history, through fiction, parsing through dense text in the ever-present child’s curiosity: but why? And Matthias’s father was an excessively cruel and frighteningly violent man, so his taste in literature certainly reflected that. This is also what I mean when I say there’s a genetic factor at play with some of Matthias’s impulses. Some of it’s inherited. In a way, he gets this from his mother’s side, too, although she’s a different kind of violent… a hands-off kind. I mean, that violence is how Matthias wound up being tortured for three years while trapped in a “therapeutic” reform school. It’s just as cruel, but it pretends to be righteous. So there’s this snapping violence and this opportunistic kind.

I’m saying all of this because I think it gives context to how much control Matthias exhibits over himself and his violent urges now as an adult. Sure, when he was younger he would react, he’d deride and break and hurt, but he doesn’t do that anymore. It’s not that he feels guilt over the impulses he has—there’s no shame there at all, really. To him, it’s just in his nature to get these flashes, these sudden images of brutality. They’ve been there all his life, you know? It’s normal to him. The only reason he doesn’t act on them is because he had impulse control beaten into him at the reform school and because he’s learned that the social contract is something that he can use to his advantage to get whatever it is he wants. He charms and obfuscates now. In that same vein, it’s not often that people find him to be rude, because he keeps his disdainful and unsavory thoughts to himself. You’d have to be someone who’s incredibly perceptive in order to see through Matthias… which just so happens to be Theo to a T.

So what I mean by this is that now when Matthias does actually act on these thoughts, these urges that dig at his brain, there’s normally a catalyst to them—this trigger that sends fire all through the synapses in his body. Matthias is incredibly loyal to Imani and Theo and he’s someone who’s very protective of them. Throughout his early teen years, back when he and Imani went to the same boarding school, he was constantly shielding Imani from the brunt of the corporal punishment that came with the turf. At that age he was volatile and would even hit back at times, but he knew that would land him in solitude and separated from Imani for days on end, which he just couldn’t have—not if he wanted to make sure nobody hurt her. He learned restraint for Imani’s sake then, but it wasn’t until he was trapped in the reform school that that restraint was fully drilled into him as a result of psychological torture and abuse.

He’s quick to offer a slicing comment, to give a chilling smile, to go eerily still and intimidate with his stare alone, but now as an adult he doesn’t often get physical unless provoked. He keeps it in and he holds himself back, this taut tension in his jaw only there for a moment before the mask submerges him again and holds his head under water. It’s really only when Theo’s involved that Matthias just… God, he really just can’t help himself. The cracks widen and he gets physical. It’s vicious. He has all this strength now, this imagination that only ever comes alive when he’s thinking of this, and he’s had years of experience in actual brawls that were just horrible—he’s been ganged up on, hit with metal chairs, humiliated and jeered at while bleeding everywhere, ripped out of bed and kicked until his ribs broke… It's safe to say that he takes pain like it means nothing to him now. So he swallows the blood he tastes when a hit lands and just plows through like it’s the only thing he knows how to do, like it’s programmed in him. It’s animalistic. It’s vengeful. It’s rapturous.

Like I said, seeing harm come to the only people Matthias loves has a disastrous effect on his self-control. Imani’s in a better place now that she’s an adult, but Theo… well, Theo’s been hurt by a lot of people—his parents, faces at clubs, ghosts from his past… too many instances to even begin getting into each of them. And Matthias has to unravel red yarn before a board and string together all of these physical reactions Theo has around some people, has to tilt his head as he replays the tapes and rewinds through remarks Theo’s made that felt off even before Matthias knew there was something going on there. Theo doesn’t talk about his hurt, doesn’t talk about anything that could make him weak, that exposes the nasty underbelly of his private life, so it’s up to Matthias to pick up on what’s been left unspoken. The specifics may not be there, but it’s enough to see Theo flinch at the sound of his own name being called, to watch him freeze up when a hand raises too fast, to track Theo as he checks the locks once, twice, three times in a row before he moves away. Matthias notices it all and he’s an eye for an eye kind of man. He can’t even help himself there, has no restraint when it comes to Theo, so… he handles it.

The furthest Matthias has ever gone, the worst he’s ever injured somebody, was when he nearly killed someone from Theo’s old summer boarding school. Theo managed to stop him, but only by a hair’s breadth. Matthias could have gone to prison for that one, he easily could’ve, but… there were circumstances and, when it comes down to it, Matthias is obscenely wealthy. In the end, he got off scot-free from attempted murder while the other party was hospitalized. He handled the rest without physical violence, though he certainly wanted to finish what he started. But, at the end of the day, Theo comes first, always.

He’s certainly engaged in far more illegal and immoral activities (his little blackmail moment was a personal favorite of mine), but physically he’s never gone so far as murder (though he’s not opposed…) and while he’s definitely lost control and grievously injured some people, I’d say he’s only ever hospitalized a handful. He keeps himself in check… most of the time, at least. He honestly doesn’t fly off the handle for no reason. If you keep your hands to yourself and watch your mouth then you don’t have to be afraid of him in that way. Still, it’s better to just keep your distance. He has too much fun pulling strings.

#IT WAS THE WAY THE IMAGE WAS CROPPED THAT WAS MAKING IT NOT SHOW UP... LITERALLY WHATTTT? WHATEVER IT'S BEEN CROPPED NOW SO. POST. PLEASE. #river dipping #asks #anonymous #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #oc extras #ts4 #cw child abuse mention #cw blood #spent a bit editing this screenshot look at the blood i'm kicking my feet and twirling my hair <3 #while editing this i listened to animal impulses by iamx on a loop it's one of matthias's latest additions to his playlist and woof #''no civilizing hides our animal impulses'' fits him so well. this and bring me back a dog... iamx understands matthias more than anyone #but okay. laying down on the floor forever after finally finishing writing all of this... #i kept deleting everything i would write and starting over like i was going through it with this one #i ended up deciding not to really get into it with the specifics irt the theo stuff #idk i'm conflicted abt it i don't really wanna say anything for sure until i finally make the decision and feel like i can talk abt it #with like... a full grasp of it all? but to that anon from a few months back who asked abt theo's pinterest board: that's who. #................................anyway hello <3 #i was gone for over a week and you may be thinking wow river you must be really far in that game you've been playing about gates #or maybe you thought i've been spending all my time trying to write this reply but ach nae......................... #i've just been reading obsessively like literally reading 24/7 doing almost nothing else #[ayo edebiri voice] i have No. Hobbies. Other Than This. #also my activity feed has been staring at me and i've been staring right back at it since i logged in to post this kjnkgjnh #i need to catch up on some things too i rlly do but you see the draw of reading another epub............ she's a strong temptress #hope you've all been well <3 my avpd is still fighting me but whatever i'm used to it kjngfkjnfh

[sighonaraa]

woe! birthday month be upon me

#just kidding i’m actually looking forward to this one #can’t believe i’ll finally not be a teen #its been eighty four years………………. #and yes that DOES slightly scare me but also i’ve decided to embrace growing older and all the beauty it will bring #(check back in with me at the end of the month) #sid speaks

[cold-neon-ocean]

First post of the new year! Finally sharing the artwork I did for the @kuvirazine back in 2021! I was incredibly flattered to be asked to work on the project, and of course I had to bring those comfy gym vibes ✨💪💚

#Baatar Jr. #Kuvira #LoK #Legend of Korra #Baavira #Kuvira Zine Vol 2 #Kuvira Zine #[ imagine me getting asked to do a LoK art zine and I DIDN'T bring Baatar along #LOL of course I have to take him everywhere #but yeah aaah so happy to finally be sharing these! #despite these being from like mid 2021 I still like them! #My art style back then (and still is now tbh) is very inconsistent #but I was going for a specific look and and I think I achieved it #that second piece is def my fav though sobs #I was really fighting with Kuvira's face bc at this time I'd hardly drawn her LMAO #but their faces there came out perfect to me I love them so much ;; #thanks so much again to the team for asking me to be apart of it!! ] #Neon Ocean Art