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apocalypseornaw · 3 years

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Always be Yours- 18

Word Count: 3,556

Story Summary: Follows Dean and the Reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: When a showdown against Metatron finally comes to be a great loss happens

Warnings: Cursing, fighting, blood character death

Cas and Sam grabbed Dean so you bodily put yourself between him and Gadreel as he fought against both of them. The look in his eyes was more animalistic than man and made a slight shiver creep up your spine at seeing the man you loved like that.

He threw Cas off then spun on Sam. “Drop the blade Dean!” Sam tried. “Move” Dean snarled in warning. “Dean look at me” Sam tried again but Dean shouted “SAM! MOVE!” You saw Cas coming up behind Dean so you stepped further in front of Gadreel “Dean..baby please drop the blade” Cas grabbed him and Sam jumped to pry the blade from his hand so you gripped his arm tightly where the mark was “DROP THE DAMN BLADE DEAN!”

He was still struggling against Sam and Cas but did at least let the blade go. You nodded to Cas “Get him to the armory” you glanced back at Gadreel “Stay here” then followed the three of them down the hallway hearing Dean struggle against Sam and Cas the entire way.

------

You stood back closer to the door watching as Dean paced in front of Sam and Cas like a caged animal. He finally stopped in front of them and glanced over at you before saying “The hell if either of you think I’m riding the pine on this one”

“Something is wrong with you, Dean” Sam argued so you pushed off the wall to stand between the two of them “And until we figure out what, this is where you have to stay” he shook his head “And what are you three gonna do sweetheart? Take on Metatron yourself? That’s real smart” when neither of you rose to his words he pointed at Cas “You lost your angel army” then looked back at you and Sam “And the two of you are wanting to lock up the one guy who has a shot at killing the son of a bitch! Hell of a plan!” You didn’t blink an eye despite his anger. You were calm as you spoke “Dean, listen to yourself. You know this isn’t you” then turned to walk out hearing Sam and Cas follow you closely.

You stopped with tears in your eyes as Sam and Cas locked Dean in the armory. “Look, guys..Sam...Sammy...Y/N c’mon baby” you walked out into the hall ignoring his pleas and when the two of them followed you it was you who slid the last lock into place on the door.

------

You grabbed the first aid kit and headed for the map room while Sam and Cas were talking in the library. Instead of finding a wounded Gadreel you instead found a trail of blood leading out the bunker “Sam! Cas!” you hollered and they came running in behind you. You nodded towards the trail “Apparently he didn’t take the whole being stabbed thing too well”

You kicked the chair nearest to you from pure frustration. You were losing Dean to that mark, as bad as you hated to admit it the truth was staring you in the face. Metatron was out there gaining power by the moment and the only possible ally was now awol. “SON OF A BITCH” you threw the kit across the floor and watched as bandages went everywhere when it slammed into the wall. Sam gently touched your shoulder and you flinched away from him “C’mon. We gotta find him”

------

All of you took Cas’ car and it didn’t take long to track Gadreel down. His car was abandoned with the driver’s door still open. Sam pulled to a stop behind it. The three of you walked slowly up to it and you saw the pool of blood in the driver’s seat. You motioned down to the ground “He left a trail”

You followed the blood with Sam and Cas behind you. You crouched down when you got to Gadreel and he immediately put a hand up as if to shield himself from another blow “Please, I’ll leave you alone, I swear” “We’re not here to hurt you” Cas told him as he crouched next to you. Cas reached out to heal him but Gadreel pulled back and shook his head “No, your grace. Healing me would only weaken you” You felt your stomach lurch at his words.Christ he really had just been a puppet for Metatron hadn’t he?

Cas reached forward anyways and healed him. You watched the slash disappear from Gadreel’s chest but saw Cas sway slightly. You leaned across Gadreel to steady Cas. Both angels glanced at you before looking at each other “Did you hear him?” Gadreel asked and Cas nodded “Yes”

You rocked back on your heels and looked up at Sam before asking “Where’s Metatron going? What’s he doing?” Gadreel met your eyes slowly “I’m afraid..humanity” You looked at Sam then Cas before offering your hand to Gadreel “In that case you need to come with us cause we got to work together to stop him” You helped Gadreel to his feet then nodded back to Cas’ car “Let’s get back to the bunker”

------

You followed Sam down the stairs in front of the two angels. Your nose burnt with the smell of sulfur the moment you stepped into the library “Oh no” you saw the box Sam had locked the first blade in sitting open on the table. You ran down the hall to the armory without another word.

You saw that the door was open so you walked slowly inside and the moment you crossed the threshold you smelt burnt herbs and spotted the objects used for a summoning spell. The moment all of you had left Dean must have summoned that red eyed bastard. He didn’t care what that mark did to Dean, hell he was the reason he’d gotten it.

------

You were standing next to Sam while he tried Dean considering he didn’t answer your call. “Are you sure it was Crowley?” Cas asked and you nodded “We’ve summoned him before. I recognize the ingredients” “Besides who else would it be? Him and Crowley have been bromancing over the blade since he got the mark” Sam added and Gadreel questioned “The mark” you turned to face him “The mark of Cain” “So that’s what Dean cut me with, the first blade?” you nodded “One and the same”

He was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking over something before he spoke “In a way that could be useful” “What?” Sam asked before you could. Gadreel glanced between the three of you “Well, Metatron is more powerful than ever, but if Dean had the first blade and the mark that might give us our best chance” “You’re joking right?” you asked glancing around at the three men “An hour ago we were ready to throw him in a padded cell and now he’s on the front line?”

“Hear him out Y/N” Cas said and you cut your eyes at him. “Sorry that we’re a little less than eager to hear our best chance is arming the warhead and hoping it hits the mark” Sam spoke up in agreement with you. “This isn’t a bomb we’re talking about. It’s the man I love” you emphasized “And my brother” Sam added.

Gadreel argued “He would not be in this alone. We can help” “How?” you asked standing nearly shoulder to shoulder with Sam, the two of you facing the two angels. “I believe Metatron has found a way to tap into the angel tablet. Harnessing its power to give him power equivalent to..” “God,right?” Sam cut him off and he nodded “That’s what this is all about isn’t it? Metatron wants to be god” you offered with a shrug and Gadreel nodded. “Great. Well that makes him basically unstoppable” Sam scoffed.

Cas shook his head “Not if we can break the connection between Metatron and the tablet. That would make him just an ordinary angel” then glanced at Gadreel to ask “Where’s the tablet?” “In Metatron’s office” “In heaven?” Sam asked to which Gadreel offered “I can get us to the door” “And then what? They would just let you in? Metatron’s number two showing up with heaven’s most wanted is gonna make them have some questions” you argued.

“Y/N we have to try” Cas said and you met his eyes and felt yourself deflate slightly. He was right but damn you didn’t have to like it.

------

Cas and Gadreel left the bunker to go to heaven so after you put out a hunter bolo and got a ping on a “miracle” in Muncie, Indiana you and Sam hit the road to get there before Dean. You’d already looked for the lady involved and were waiting at her camper when baby rolled into the trailer park.

You spotted Crowley in the passenger seat and cursed under your breath. “You handle it” you told Sam stepping slightly behind him. When Dean walked up Sam said “Guess one of us doesn’t need a demon to found a clue trail. You’re looking for miracle lady right?” Crowley had gotten out the impala and you glared at him. “She’s gone by the way. We had a nice chat with her though” you added looking from Crowley back to Dean.

He tilted his head slightly “Sweetheart whatever type of intervention you and Sammy think this is trust me, it ain't. I’m not gonna explain myself to either of you”

“Yeah we got that” you bit back looking away from him because it hurt to see that uncaring look pointed towards you and Sam of all people. Sam spoke up motioning between Dean and Crowley “Thought you might want to know while you two have been playing odd couple your real friends, like Cas, like the angel you stabbed Gadreel they’re out there risking their asses right now to help you win this fight” “What the hell are you talking about?” Dean asked but Sam was mid sentence and continued “A fight I might add you made that much more complicated when you decided to stab the one angel who could actually get us to Metatron”

“You mean the angel that took you for a joy ride? The angel that slaughtered Kevin? That angel?” Dean argued and you realized the two had taken a step closer to each other so you stepped between them refusing to see the two most important people in your life physically fight if you could stop it.

Sam spoke over your head to Dean “Who you let in the front door in the first place. You and Y/N tricked me Dean. And now I’m the one who wakes up in the middle of the night seeing my hands kill Kevin not you! So please when you say you don’t want to explain anything to us don’t. I get it so does she”

“And we also get that Metatron has got to go and we know you’re our best shot” You added and Dean looked from you to Sam before saying “I’m gonna take my shot for better or worse” “We know” Sam replied and you felt your heart drop no matter how much you’d prepared yourself when Dean said “No matter the consequences” “We know” you replied and was proud when your voice remained steady despite how you felt on the inside.

“But if this is it, We’re gonna do it together. You want to know what he whispered to her right? It was his next stop” Sam told Dean and Crowley then spoke up “So what are we all gollywagging on about? Chop-chop” Dean turned to face him and he shrugged “Excuse me. I’m not exactly demon minion number three here. As the kids say, I’ve got mad skills” you remained in place next to Sam as Dean walked over to Crowley “Look I don’t know what you expected here ok. I don’t really care but you wanted off the hamster wheel get off.” Crowley scoffed “Guess I’ve been Winchestered” he glanced over at you and Sam “I’d wish you three good luck if I thought it would help. When he disappeared you cleared your throat “So we hunting an angel or what?” and walked past Dean to baby and climbed into the backseat without another word.

------

You sat silent in the backseat staring at Dean in the mirror. He’d yet to meet your eyes but you couldn’t take yours away from him. You could very well lose him by the time this fight was over. How the hell were you supposed to face losing yet another person? Let alone one that you loved as deeply as you loved him. How the hell was Sam supposed to face the possibility of losing him? Why the hell hadn’t you stopped him from going after the first blade to start with?

When you got to Metatron’s next stop Dean parked the impala and the three of you climbed out. Sam looked between the two of you then pointed down the road “I’m gonna head up and check it out. See if there’s any chatter about Marv” you nodded and chunked an angel blade to him “Watch your six Sammy” he cut his eyes towards Dean then walked away.

You couldn’t help but notice the tremor in Dean’s hand that only stilled when he touched the covered blade. “Dean” you spoke softly, letting your hand gently cover his. He closed his eyes for a moment “Y/N, please know no matter what happens I love you” you took a deep breath and squeezed his hand gently “I love you too Dean” the two of you stood like that for a few moments until the sound of footsteps made you draw apart until you both realized it was Sam “Anything?” Dean asked and Sam nodded “About a mile up the road. There’s a homeless encampment. The way folks are talking, he’s got them convinced he’s some kind of new jesus or something” you laughed humorlessly. “You good?” Sam asked Dean who nodded “Yeah I’m good”

Dean looked at Sam then back at you “Sammy can I have a minute with Y/N?” Sam nodded “Of course” and walked a bit aways turning his back also to give the two of you more privacy. He gently grabbed your arm and led you back to the front of the impala before pulling you against his chest “Kiss for good luck?” you gave him a small smile “Always” and leaned up to gently brush your lips against his.

He deepened the kiss and you barely saw the movement when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rag but when he pulled back to put the rag over your nose and mouth the smell of chloroform was chokingly strong. You gave him a questioning look as you faded and barely heard him say “I’m sorry. I can’t risk you”

------

The next thing you knew Sam was shaking you awake. “Y/N wake up!” you were already pushing to your feet so he reached out to help you “What the hell happened?” you asked as the two of you took off at a run for the homeless encampment “Dean chloroformed you and knocked me out. He didn’t want us in the fight against Metatron” Sam replied and you pushed your legs harder to keep up with him as the two of you ran into the encampment.

There were people around fires and the moment the two of you stepped into view every set of eyes turned. Two people stepped in front of you in an attempt to block your path. You and Sam both didn’t hesitate to pull your guns “Step back now!” you ordered and Sam asked “Where’s Metatron?” a blonde woman pointed to the warehouse in the center of the encampment “In there” you popped Sam’s shoulder “C’mon!”

------

You and Sam ran through the warehouse side by side. You could feel your heart threatening to burst out of your chest from fear for Dean. Both of you skidded to a stop when you came around a corner in enough time to see Metatron sink an angel blade into Dean’s chest. “NO” you screamed, forcing your feet to carry you to his side. Metatron stood back grinning like the mug bastard he was as you and Sam ran to Dean’s side.

You hit your knees helping Sam to pull him back sitting up “Baby,Dean” you smoothed your hand down his face willing him to stay alive. You couldn’t lose him. The sound of thunder crashing rumbled through the warehouse. Sam slashed towards Metatron but only met with thin air.

Your hand ghosted over the hole in Dean’s chest and met his eyes with a tear filled smile “C’mon baby. You’ve survived worse. You can survive this. Don’t leave us please don’t leave us” Dean looked up at Sam weakly “Sammy get her out of here before he comes back” you ripped your jacket off and held it against Dean’s chest “Shut up worrying about me ok? Save your energy” Sam moved to hold pressure also his larger hands covering yours “She’s right. We’ll stop the bleeding. We’ll get you a doctor or find a spell. You’re gonna be ok”

You were fighting to stay strong, Dean didn’t need to see you break but your heart was crumbling in your chest. “You’re gonna be ok Dean” you all but whispered. He covered both of your hands with his “Listen to me..it’s better this way” “What?” you asked feeling the first hot tears slide down your face. You could see your hands shaking under his and Sam’s.

Sam moved one hand to hold Dean up by the shoulder. “The mark. It’s making me into something I don’t want to be.” “Don’t worry about the mark. We’ll figure out the mark later just hold on ok?” Sam told him and tapped your shoulder for you to move so he could get him up.

You moved to support Dean’s other shoulder even though Sam was taking most of his weight so you could hold your jacket against his wound. The man you loved was dying and you were helpless to do anything about it. You were barely making your legs work. “What happened to you being ok with this?” he asked Sam who replied “I lied”

------

The three of you hadn’t made it far before Dean said “Sam, hold up” Sam eased him down on one of the concrete pillars. You were both supporting him, he couldn’t hold himself up by that point but said “I need to say something” “What?” you managed to choke out past your tears. He touched Sam’s face and left a bloody mark behind “I’m proud of us” then touched yours “and I love you” “I love you too Dean” you barely got out before he fell over onto Sam and you knew he was gone.

You felt your knees go out from under you as you slid down to the floor of the warehouse “No..no..noo” Sam shook calling his name and begging him to wake up “He’s gone Sam” you sobbed forcing yourself to your feet. “He’s gone”

------

The ride home to the bunker you sat in the backseat with Dean’s head in your lap. You were tracing the line of his jaw with just your fingertips. “I’ll always love you” you whispered into the dark.

When you pulled to a stop at the bunker Sam eased the backdoor open so you helped him to get Dean’s body out and into his arm. You followed him from the garage to the room where you’d spent so many nights in Dean’s arms.

Sam gently laid his body onto the bed and you felt your knees weaken yet again “I can’t. I’m sorry I can’t” you ran from the room and Sam found you crying in the library.

He sat a bottle of bourbon in front of you “Take a drink” you did what he said taking a long swig then looked up at him “What are we supposed to do now?” he sat down next to you and grabbed the bottle. After he took a long drink he looked back at you “C’mon” “Where are we going Sam?” you asked weakly as he pulled you to your feet “Crowley got him into this, Crowley can get him out”

You knew it probably wouldn’t work but Sam was just as heartbroken as you were and if there was just a glimmer of hope of getting Dean back by god you’d do anything.

Tags: @facadeformyrealblog @akshi8278 @brilovesdeanwinchester

#spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female!reader #always be yours

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msmarvelouswinchester · 4 years

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Wrong Universe

Part 8 - Trust Issues

Summary - When the actor of the show comes face to face with the characters, what can possibly go wrong?

Characters - Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and basically the entire cast and crew of supernatural.

Warning - Angst-ish, sweet moments

A/N - We are so close to the ending now. Two more chapters left. Happy reading!

Catch up here

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

"Hey, Jared's not picking up my phone. Everything's okay at work?" A female voice said from the other side of the phone. Jensen looked and saw Jared walking to the other side of the set to talk with Rob.

"Uh-yeah. As good as it can be", Jensen sighed. Jensen walked up to Jared and mouthed "your wife" to him. He saw the gears turning in Jared's head and he patted down his body in search of his phone.

"What does that mean? Is Jared okay? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I-I'm fine, Gen. Jared is fine. He is right beside me. He is going to call you back within a few minutes. Shit I need to call Danneel too. I didn't call her since morning", Jensen said watching Jared go towards his trailer in search of his phone.

"That's highly unlikely of you Jensen. What's wrong?" Genevieve said with concern.

"Nothing is wrong Gen", Jensen sighed.

"Don't pull that crap on me. Spit it out", Gen said.

"Oh god woman. Fine! It's not the set. It's about Dean. He is....suddenly a stranger for me. I can't read...understand him anymore".

"Did you talk to someone? Listen, I can't say anything about Dean but I can say that you know him more than you know yourself. Maybe all that stress about the end is getting to you but if you have any serious problem, I think you should talk to someone who knows Dean better than you", Gen said. "And tell that husband of mine to call me when he gets some time off".

"Maybe you're right about talking to someone. T-thanks Gen. Jared is probably calling you back right now", Jensen said and disconnected the call.

Jensen thought about what Gen said to him. 'Someone who knew Dean better than him'.

He started to look through his phone contacts and stopped when he saw a certain number. Should he call the number? What was he going to say? It's not like anyone was going to believe him.

"What's up Jensen? Jensen? Hey?" Misha waved his hands in front of Jensen to get his attention.

"Yeah what?" "You okay?"

"Not really. Gen said something or rather to talk to someone who knows Dean better than me", Jensen said.

"Knows Dean better than you? Who-do you mean?" Misha raised his eyebrows, "well you should follow Gen's advice. She may be right".

"What am I supposed to say? I can't just say that hey, so sam and dean are real and I need Dean to trust me", Jensen said causing Misha to roll his eyes.

"Who are you going to say what?" Jared tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm gonna call up Eric", Jensen looked at Jared and tried to read his expression.

"Kripke?" Jared's eyebrows shot up.

"No Brady", Jensen snapped at him.

"What are you gonna say to him?" Jensen looked down at the ground, "You don't know what you're gonna say to him".

"I'll figure it out", Jensen said and dialed Eric's number.

Eric picked up the phone after three rings.

"Jensen! What's wrong?" Eric asked.

"How'd you know something was wrong?" Jensen asked cautiously. Did someone tell him about Dean and Sam?

"Last time you called me, you were having problem with the finale script", Jensen could practically see Eric rolling his eyes, "what is it? Spill".

"Okay, I promise to call you more often. No problem with scripts. I'm kinda having some trouble with Dean and well, Jared's having problem with Sam too", Jensen said while looking at his friend.

"That's new. You never had a trouble with the guys. You both are literally Dean and Sam now", Eric chuckled.

"Till now I also thought I knew Dean very well but now I don't think I know him anymore. It is-if a person someone breaks the uh-trust of the Winchester...unintentionally, is there any way that they will ever forgave let alone trust the person again?"

"That's a very specific question. I can answer that if the Winchesters had trusted the person once, they will trust him again but the person has to do a lot of work to earn back their trust. Think about what you will do if someone broke your trust", Eric said.

"Me?" Jensen said and scrunched up his face in confusion.

"Yes. Believe it or not. You are a lot like Dean. Put yourself in his shoes. Think about why the person broke the trust. Was it because he tried to gain something out of it or was it just a misunderstanding?", Eric said.

Jensen pursed his lips and nodded and smacked his forehead remembering he was calling him. All the stress was messing up his head.

"I get it Eric", Jensen said.

"The Winchesters, they have been through so much, trust issues are the part of the baggage they carry around", Jensen hummed in response to Eric, "Talk to them".

"What?" Jensen froze and his eyes widened, "t-talk to..them?" Jensen asked receiving a look from both Jared and Misha.

"Jensen, you may not call me but did you really think I wouldn't know that the characters I had created are alive whether they have came from another universe, it doesn't matter. Talk to the Winchesters. Make them understand. They, especially Dean will try to get on your nerves but don't let his words get into your head. Dean is stubborn so are you. They will understand", Eric finished his speech but Jensen didn't say anything, "Jensen you there?"

"Huh? Uh-yeah. I-I get it what you're saying", Jensen spoke quietly.

"I hope everything works out. Oh and Jensen, it was Richard who told me about Sam and Dean if you are wondering. It's just bad timing that I'm in another country", Eric said and the phone disconnected with a click.

Jensen stood there looking dumbfounded.

"So?" Jared urged.

"A wise man once said, if you need to earn back the trust, you gotta talk it out", Jensen said.

"Who said that?" Jared raised an eyebrow.

"Eric", Jensen shrugged getting a look from Jared, "The Winchesters didn't leave the set right?" Jensen asked.

"No. That's what Al Cal said", Misha shrugged.

"Okay. Who wants to join me to prevent Dean from killing me? And Eric knows about the Winchesters. That man", Jensen chuckled.

"What? How?" Jared and Misha yelled in unison.

"Blame the Trickster".

"Hey Alex! Where did you last see the brothers?" Jensen asked.

"They were in the parking lot", Alex said, "Why?"

"We gotta talk to them", Jared replied.

"Okay", Alex said with a tone of uncertainty.

"It's better if you both talk to the Winchesters. I'm gonna hang back at the set", Misha said. Jared and Jensen shared a look and nodded at their costar.

They reached the parking lot but Sam and Dean weren't there. "Did they leave the set?" Jared asked.

"The Winchesters may be reckless but they are not stupid. Come on, I think I know where to find them", Jensen said and started walking towards the set.

Jared followed his friend and found himself on the set where they kept Baby.

"I knew it", Jensen whispered to Jared. Jared looked over and it felt like watching themselves on the television.

Dean was sitting on the hood of the impala and Sam was leaning against the door beside. The only thing missing were two bottles of beer in their hands.

"You really want to trust a bunch of actors? Come on Sammy, we can do better than that", Dean scoffed.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Sam asked. Jensen decided to not eavesdrop anymore and he cleared his throat attracting the attention of both the brothers.

Forever taglist - @donnaintx @devil-in-my-boots @amandamdiehl

Wrong Universe taglist - @mrswhozeewhatsis @squirrelnotsam @lostlittlenerd @this-is-spn @millieccino

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jay-and-dean · 5 years

Text

Love me once, shame on me Chapter 5 : Scream.

Dean x named reader (is this a thing ?)

Love me Once, Shame on me MASTERLIST

Serie Warnings : Violence, swearing, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex (you are smarter than this), Fluffy fluff.

Chapter warnings : Violence, swearing, angst, smut (oral), fluff.

Words : 6.9k

Chapter summary : A scream saved her life. A scream made her his. A scream he hold back. And all the screams in their heads.

gifs not mine

It's 4am. The bunker is so silent I swear I could hear my own shattered heart beating. I can't sleep...

It's been 4 months now, 4 months since Dean kissed me and I told him to go. He never tried again. With me, he never got close again.

The first time he went out with a stupid giggling waitress, I had a panic attack. A silent devastating drowning-in-tears panic attack. I spent the whole night imagining him thrusting in that slut, biting her jaw, leaving bite marks all over her... I puked a lot. I took a cold shower and almost accidently killed myself with sleeping pills.

But Dean found a girl almost one night in two since then... All sorts of girls. Now it's become a habit : I go to bed and cry, I get up in the middle of the night and do something, anything, then I get exhausted and take pills.

We came back from a hunt yesterday, and yet he already found someone for tonight. My sweet baby have kind of become a slut, even Sam is freaking out, asking him what is wrong with him all the time.

I get up and rub my eyes, readjusting my long sleeves t-shirt. What am I still doing here ? Why do I inflict this to myself ? I should go, at least, away from Dean I wouldn't know exactly when he is giving himself to anybody.

My feet meet the cold ground and I decide to head for the kitchen. I'm hungry. When Dean told us he wouldn't be there tonight, I couldn't eat, and now I know anything I'm going to eat I'm going to puke, but I'm hungry anyway.

The light is on, and Dean is right here.

I stop, looking at him with a mix of relief and extreme anxiety. He's making a sandwich and drinking a beer. When his eyes meet mine, he looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"Why aren't you sleeping ?" he asks almost in a reproachful tone.

"Why are you here ?" I groan.

"Well it's my kitchen."

"Do you want me out of your kitchen Dean ?" I ask with a cold voice.

He looks down. And hands me the knife.

"Peanut butter ?" he says pushing the jar toward me.

We eat in silence. As he stuffs his mouth with enormous bites I remember that time he choked on a burger, I was panicking because his eyes were crying and his lips went blue for a second, but he recovered fast enough to make fun of me, his voice still hoarse, and everyone looking at us because I was screaming like an anxious mom.

"How was your... date ?" I ask.

He shrugs and stays silent. It's better this way, I don't know why I'm talking about this, I must be a masochist.

"I would have preferred a date with you" he shrugs again and I look up at him, incapable of swallowing my bite.

I lift my eyebrows and he smiles, taking a sip of his beer.

"What ? You know I do..." he just says like it was nothing.

I swallow painfully, my throat tight, and sigh. I put my sandwich down and drink the large glass of water in front of me.

"Talk to me about your ex. You said he was a hunter, do I know him ?" he suddenly asks and I have to sit.

He takes two beers in the fridge and follows me to the table.

"Why do you want to know ?" I ask sadly.

"We're friends, and you know everything about me, you read the Supernatural books and you live with us. I introduced you to all of my friends, you even fucked me in the restroom of a shitty bar..." my heart pounds in my chest at his words. Did I really fucked him ? Is that how he sees that ? "And you still don't want to talk to me about that guy who broke your heart."

I take a shaky breath, I have to be careful.

"I was a lonely kid, you know..." I start, barely believing what I'm about to tell him. "I had a shitty childhood..."

While I tell him the story of how that guy came into my life, I watch him watch me. The deep worn out green of his warm eyes piercing my soul. I try not to give him any clue, and I try not to think too much about what I am saying, because I would break down if I would. I don't know how long I talk, but he listens carefully.

"We were so happy. Everything was perfect. I could have died for him just because he asked. And I felt like a queen at his arm" I smile. "Sex was epic and I was horny all the time" I laugh slightly remembering how true this is. My body wanted him all the time, like he wanted to become one with him. "Onesunny summer day... I remember that day... We had a weight off of our minds because I feared to be pregnant and I wasn't. So we had sex outside of my trailer, out there in the sun, for hours, and he get sunburned..."

And just like that, my smile dies on my lips and a shadow of despair darken my face.

"Later that day, I went shopping, I wanted to buy some cream for his burnt back and ice cream because we talked about getting some all day... The drugstore was closed and I texted him that it would take longer than I thought because I had to find another one... I... I didn't want him to peel... I just didn't want him to be in any kind of pain... When I came back..."

I take a shaky breath and feel my eyes shine with held tears.

"He had left a note."

"A note ?" he asks, clearly captivated. "What did it say ?"

I clear my voice, hearing in my head the echo of the deafening sound my heart made then.

"The note said it was over" I whisper.

"How could it be over like that. Did he explained ?" he asks.

"He talked about the almost pregnancy, about the future. He said it was going too far, too quickly. He said he didn't know if he loved me as much as I loved him, and that this relationship was scaring him... He said he needed space, freedom..."

I wipe a single tear with my sleeve and shiver at the contact of his hand suddenly on mine.

"But you were like... Bonnie and Clyde, or Dirty Dancing's Baby and Johnny..." he says and I can't help but smile a bit at his words.

"I felt my heart explode..." I say sadly. "I felt my world crash down. I tried to call him but he didn't answer. I tried to call a hundred times maybe, and he cut his phone... So I screamed. I screamed in the night like someone was torturing me... He was actually."

Telling him that is becoming salutary, and I can't stop now. I take his thumb in my hand and squeeze it.

"I screamed so much I think I fainted at some point. I never felt a pain like that... Then my brain went off. I..." Slow tears run down my burning cheeks, and Dean stroke my shaking hand. "I went to the bathroom and puked, I think I was in shock. I... I brushed my teeth. I remember brushing my teeth like it had any fucking significance. Then I went back to my bed and took the knife he offered me. It was very sharp and made to cut through skin, monster skin..."

"Jay..." Dean says with a very sad voice, making me look in his eyes for a second.

"I just..." I sob. "I just couldn't imagine a life without him. I loved him so much..."

I breathe to stop sobbing, and clear my voice.

"I cut myself deeply. I cut myself so deep one of my fingers still can't feel anything, because I cut a nerve. It was horribly painful but I just didn't care anymore... After a few moments it became hard to breathe, and I fell asleep I think..."

I let a short silence, biting my lips.

"Apparently someone had heard my screams and called the cops not long before that... I woke up in a hospital, alive by chance as they said... I wanted to die so bad I tried to jump out of the window... So they sedated me... It took me a few months to be allowed to go out all alone. When I finally could, I went to my trailer. It was exactly like it as always been, except my blood was rotting on the sheets. I took a bag with just minimal clothes, my toothbrush and a few pictures of him,... And I burnt it down. I stayed there and watch my home burn before I left for good."

Silence falls on the kitchen, I just hear his steady but deep breathing. I try not to cry but tears keep coming down my face in silence.

"Did you heard of him after that ?" he asks low.

"Yeah..." I smile, squeezing his hand, focusing my eyes on the lovely freckles on his knuckles. "I saw him again years after..."

"I know you don't want me to talk about him, let alone... But- but I think I would punch him if I saw him" Dean says about himself.

My head hurts.

"He just didn't love me like I loved... love him. And he told me from the beginning, that he wasn't a boyfriend..."

"But after that he told you he loved you... And he... Anyway... Thank you for opening to me." he says.

*******************************

2005

"So the teacher asked to... Are you listening to me Dean ?" she says, making me look up at her wondering face.

"Yeah... Of course."

"No you weren't... You had your head in the clouds. Is there something wrong ?" saying that she comes next to me and strokes my arm gently.

"I'm sorry... I was thinking about... About Sammy."

She kisses my cheek and sighs. I think about him a lot lately, maybe it's because Jay reminds me of him sometimes, maybe it's because I would really love them to meet, I know they would get along so well...

"I'm sure he is okay, Dean... What you said about him, how smart and brave he his... I'm sure he's doing great, even if he misses you for sure."

I take her in my arms and nuzzle in her neck. She smells so good.

"Stop that, you're tickling me..." she laughs, letting her all body fall on my arms.

I take her off the ground and lay her on her bed. Her skin is a bit sweaty from the very hot day despite the fresh shower we took together less than an hour ago.

"Dean, we just had sex in the shower and I have homework to do..." she says while my hands travel from her collarbones to her covered breasts.

"I want you again" I groan.

She smiles, kissing my lips, and bites her delicious lips. Taking her covered nipple in my mouth I spread her legs to lay between them. She moans and take my hair in her hands as usual, telling me how she wants me close to her with her fingers. I take her tank top above her head and smile because she didn't put her bra back after the shower.

"I love them..." I say kissing her chest, sucking purple marks all over the plumb skin of her breasts.

She moans and tug at my shirt, arching her back in a soft wail. When I sit up to take it off, I stay up for a while, admiring her flushed face, the sun piercing through the window and enlightening her shaking stomach, and my claiming marks appearing all over her chest. She already told me once, all embarrassed, how she loves to see the signs of me on her after we had sex, confiding, her face hidden, how horny it made her.

I start undoing her shorts and taking them down. I love that she feels comfortable enough with me to take off her long jeans and large hoodie when she comes home, staying in shorts or panties all the time. I love that she lets me see and touch her body all I want. And I love her body.

She’s naked now. Her legs spread and her arms on the side of her delicious body. She doesn’t hide from me anymore. Sometimes she’s still shy, like when I look at her for too long or that time we had sex from behind for the first time, and I was looking at my cock disappearing inside of her again and again. But I always manage to make her proud of herself, because she can see how hungry I am for her, how perfect she is to me.

I bend to kiss her and go down her chest again, kissing her tits I grow hard.I always do. I didn’t know I was so drawn to breasts before her, but there is something about the intimacy of her letting me feasting on her skin that makes me go crazy.

I know what I want right now, I’ve dreamed of it often, sometimes nibbling at her chest actually.

I want to go down on her.

But until now I knew she would freak out. I knew she wasn’t ready for it as she always told me how awkward she felt when I was looking at her intimate parts, how uncomfortable I knew she was when I kissed her too close to it.

She’s ready now. And I’m starving.

I kiss my way down, her hands still in my hair, her breath steady and loud. My hands roam all over her skin until I reach my goal, spreading her thighs wider.

“Dean, what are you doing ?” she asks, suddenly worried, trying to close her legs.

“Trust me baby” I just say kissing her folds.

She jumps a little, almost crushing my head with her thighs.

“I… I don’t know this is awkward. I… I don’t think I’ll like that. You don’t have to do this Dean” she whines.

“Baby please just relax. I want to, I really want to… This is not awkward, just…” I feel my mouth watering. “Just trust me.”

I slip my arms around her legs to keep her open, and lick once, twice, reaching her clit. She jumps again and wails, letting go of my hair to cover her face.

I lick at her gently a few times, tasting her juice for the first time and I can’t help but moan.

“This is…” she starts. “I don’t… Wow !”

She stops talking when I starts eating her out for real. I can feel how tense her legs are, I can feel how she won’t let herself go. So I work harder.

“How does it… Dean ?” she tries, unable to speak clearly. “Dean ?”

I lift my head to look at her.

“How does it...taste ?” she finally asks, worried.

I smile. My shy little baby, so she’s concerned about that… I go up her body and kiss her. I kiss her deeply to make her taste herself on my lips and she moans again.

“Delicious baby” I say looking in her eyes.

She touches her lips and smiles shyly. When I go down again, I can feel her body relax a bit.

After only a few moments of licking and kissing and sucking at her clit, I know she’s close. Her hands come back to my hair and her knees fall wide open. I take her legs and put them on my shoulder, giving myself a better access to her entrance.

“Dean…” she whines. But this time not to make me stop, far from it. “Fuck, this… Ah!”

My heart is pounding and my head is dizzy from arousal and the lack of oxygen I inflict myself to keep my mouth on her. I’m not using my fingers, no way, I want her to fall apart like this, she’s so close.

Suddenly I can feel her thighs become slippery, sweat breaking though her skin, her pussy clenches around nothing and her back arches. When I devour her even more fiercely, she comes hard.

She screams for the first time.

Her orgasms are always so silent, her voice stuck in her beautiful reddened throat, and I love that she doesn’t act at all, letting her shaking body show me how much she loves what I do to her. But this time she screams…

I wipe my mouth and climb back to face her. I kiss her lips and she pants in my mouth.

“Wow baby, I think everyone heard you miles away” I smile.

“I’m sorry” she says absently.

“No, no, don’t be… That was incredibly hot. So… You still think you don’t like it ?”

She wraps her legs around me and tries to rub herself on my still covered crotch. I love when she's like this, high on desire.

“It was good… Okay, it was incredible. But it made me crave Dean… I need more now. Please.”

I groan and open my jeans the fastest I can. Before I can come down to her, she takes my face in her hands.

“But what about you Dean ?”

“What about me ?”

“What makes you scream ?” she asks and I feel my own shyness flush my face. “Do you want me to go down on you ?”

I half laugh half whines thinking about it.

“Not today baby.”

“Is it has special for you than it is for me, that sensation ?”

“Mh… Yeah I guess.”

“Will you teach me ? Dean I want to make you scream…” she says biting her lips and I kiss her.

“I will. But right now I need to be deep inside of you” I pant.

“One last question and you can have me all night…” she says.

Saying that she takes my cock in her hand and I let my head fall on the crook of her neck in defeat, panting and thrusting gently in her hand.

“Do you hold back Dean ?”

I lift my head and stop my hip movements.

“What ?”

“I may be new at this but I’m not stupid. You didn’t want to hurt me the first times we did it but you keep holding back…” she says looking in my eye.

“I don’t…”

“Yes you do. And thank you for being so attentive. But please baby I need you to let go…”

“No, Jay, you don’t… I’m a man... I’m horny and stupid, I don’t want to hurt you” I admit.

“I need to be enough” she states. “I need to know you truly… And I need to be the one who gives you what you need. Please.”

I sigh and bite my cheek. I want her so bad right now, I need her. I would do anything she asks.

“You are enough” I say kissing her deeply.

With that I take her hips and thrust in her forcefully. She gasps and I stay still to look at her. She’s not in pain, just surprised and overwhelmed.

“Let go baby. Fuck me. Take me like you need” she whispers in my ear and I groan low.

I start to pounce in her, my arms tight around her, making her look so small. I have to trust her, she’ll tell me if she needs me to stop.

Since I know her I’m horny all the time, I never had sex so much, and yet I always want more. She’s turning me to a beast : jealous, possessive, needing to have her for myself, to mark her, I never was like that. As my feelings for her are growing, my appetite grows too. I can’t stop touching her and kissing her.

I think I love her, and I want to yell at her for making me feel that way.

I fuck her because she asks. But also because I needed to for a long time.

She's clinging to me with both hands, not touching my hair anymore, both her arms under mine, hands on my shoulder.

"Fuck babygirl..." I groan hoarsely on her neck.

A shark pain on my back makes me roar and bite her neck, she's digging her nails in my skin, deep. As I thrust hard, I have to hold her because she's sliding upward, pushed by my forceful movements.

For once I don't see her orgasm coming, and when she cries my name, convulsing and holding me deep strongly with her thighs around me, she takes me with her. I can't breathe for a moment, filling her up.

The sun is going down slowly, and the light is now orange, making her hair slightly red. I'm on my back, still naked and she's nestle against me, also naked.

"You know what Dean ?" she says playing with my hand. "I think the sun is making more freckles appear on your hands."

She kisses my fingers and keeps my hand on her lips.

I didn't move for at least an hour because she apparently decided to examine me neatly. She apologized for the scratches on my back, showing me the blood under her nails with a pout, and started looking at every inch of my skin. She kissed my stubble on different spots to find her favorite and, once she had, she played with my hands.

I never felt so pampered.

"You know what baby ?" I say and she lifts her eyes to look at me through her lashes, not moving her lips from my hand. "I think I love you."

************************

"You two are up already ?" Sam says entering the kitchen.

Dean looks at his watch and smile. It's 6am. We talked all night.

"Will you run with me ?" Sammy asks making breakfast.

"Not today, Sam. I didn't sleep at all, I need a short nap" I rub my eyes and sigh.

I take my pillow in my arms and squeeze it. I still can't sleep. How did Dean do that ? How could he torture me by spending another night with a girl, come home, make sandwich and get to have me confide in him ? I hate him so much. With his perfect face and his heavenly smell. Fuck him. He sincerely said he was sorry, that he would punch the guy for making me suffer so much. This is confusing.

2pm. I still haven’t slept but I’m not brave enough to get up. I heard Sam talking to Jack in the hallway and I stayed on my bed in a fetal position, holding my pillow tight in my arm.

A ray of light invade the room as someone opens the door slowly. Footsteps quietly join the bed behind me and I feel the mattress sink next to my back.

Dean.

His manly sweet smell surrounds me like the wings of an angel. Oh please, I'm not ready to see him again… His hands bushes my shoulder and I shiver.

“Jay” he whispers, gently pushing hair from my hidden face. “Are you hungry ? I cooked.”

“That’s sweet” I say with a husky voice from not talking for a long time.

“I’m sorry I woke you up” he says low.

“I wasn’t sleeping…”

“Yeah, you rarely are.”

I open my eyes and look in front of me, his shadow adorning my wall. I can see the dark print of his arm lift, like he was about to touch me again, then he lets it fall beside him. When his shadow moves again, it is to bend on me. I only realize what he’s up to when I feel the soft touch of his lips on my shoulder.

I can’t move.

His lips barely brush my shoulder before clearly kissing the same spot again. Then he kisses my cheek. My heart is pounding, I’m holding my breath. Another kiss just below my ear, and another. His hand comes on my side and wonder on my stomach, his lips don’t leave my skin now, I can feel him breathing shakily through his nose.

The only reaction my body allows me is to join his hand on my shirt. He freezes for a moment, and when I don’t take his hand off he slightly pull on my shoulder to turn me toward him.

He is beautiful. The light making a halo around him.

He bends again and, this time, he kisses my lips. Shyly at first, like he was trying to tame my temper. I still don’t move so he does it again, capturing my lower lip in his with a light sigh.

He just had sex with someone, like, 15 hours ago. I hate him… But I need him.

As if this were their natural home, my hands come up to his hair, my fingers run through it and for a second I forget.

When he bends again, I give him full access to my mouth, opening it to let him kiss me like he seems to want. His delicious tongue bringing me back to life. He deepens the kiss and starts to run his big manly hands on my sides.

Then something hits me.

I can’t lose him. If I have him again, and lose him, I’ll probably won’t need to kill myself because the pain will end me anyway.

I push at his shoulders and turn my head.

“Dean, stop that.”

He sighs loudly, and let his head fall before sitting straight. He rubs his face with both hands.

“I’m sorry Dean. I can’t.”

“I know” he whispers. “I’m just… I…”

“If you want me out of the bunker I would understand” I say trying to sit up without getting too close to him.

“What ? No ! Of course I don’t want… Listen I’m the one… Fuck. I’m the one that should leave you alone. You already told me you didn’t want me. It’s just… I’m sorry I shouldn’t tell you that but… Forget it.”

“You shouldn’t tell me what Dean ?”

His beautiful eyes lock to mine and, as I get used to obscurity, I can discern guilt there.

“I just… want you. I’m sorry, I’m a horrible friend.”

My heart breaks a little more to hear that. I reach his cheek and he leans on my touch.

“You’re the best friend I ever had. You just want more than I can give you. I’m sorry” I murmur, hating myself.

That cute Latina police officer is hitting on Dean. She’s looking at him with her most radiant smile while he explains why he needs some access. This girl is a stunner, even dressed for work.

Sam has that look on his face, half annoyed half amused, the one he wears when a girl shows interest in Dean. Often.

I try not to let my emotions show, and look behind her to try and read some information on the file she let opened on her desk. Once she gave Dean the key, we head to the door.

“Agent ?” she calls and Dean turns back. “Since you have my number, maybe you’d like to call me and have a drink… tonight ?” she bites her lips and I want to bite her carotid.

Dean smiles at her and, without realizing it, I clench my jaw, ready for another punch in my chest.

“I’m flattered, but married” he says and Sam’s eyes widen.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn't know, agent.”

When we reach the Impala, Sam asks in a mocking tone :

“Do we need to call your wife or can we hit the road ?”

“Hilarious Sammy” says Dean while I take place on the back seat.

“Seriously Dean” Sam laughs. “What is wrong with you, that woman was very attractive…”

Dean turns the music on and offer him an insolent smile of his.

“Short and respectful way to say no” he mutters, turning the volume up.

Raising his beer to his lips Dean closes his eyes in satisfaction. This bar is actually nice, the music’s not too loud but loud enough to create a warm atmosphere, people seem relaxed and happy, I think it’s a birthday on that corner.

“That case was too easy” says Dean, making Sam roll his eyes.

“Too easy ? We’re on it since Monday ! And a teenager almost got killed again” Sam sighs.

“Almost” Dean objects proudly. “Jay saved the boy.”

“Hum excuse me.”

I turn my head and my eyes meet with turquoise ones. A charming man is smiling down at me.

“I certainly don’t want to seem rude” he has a charming English accent. “But I was wondering if I could buy you a drink… Unless one of these gentlemen is your partner.”

Dean is about to open his mouth when I answer.

“Only working partners.”

He smiles and his eyes don’t crinkle so much, they are too blue, and his tone is too polite… Everything reminds me he is not Dean.

I feel Sam give me a little punch under the table. When I lift my eyes on him, he mime “Go” in silence.

“I don’t know, I hum… Okay” I say getting up.

I don’t really know what he is talking about now, his job maybe, I switch off a few minutes ago. Poor guy, he is actually nice, but I can’t focus. I wonder if Dean is paying attention to us, if this will push him right in the arms of a one night stand ; I wonder why he turn the pretty police officer’s offer down, if he really wants me like he said and what it means…

“Hey” Dean’s familiar voice makes up come back to Earth.

He stand just beside me and I feel his hand discreetly slip on my lower back, his thumb stroking the reachable skin between my belt and my shirt. Why is he doing that ?

“Sam and I are going back to the motel. If you want to go back, anytime of the night, call me, I’ll pick you up…”

I know he’s trying to tell me to come back with him, I know his hand is saying I want you, have sex with me instead. And to be fair, every inch of my body is telling me to throw myself at Dean, each of my fucking cells yelling in unison for me to forget why I can’t give in to him… But my heart howls, my shattered-in-thousand-bloody-parts-heart is in pain with each beat.

“Okay Dean, I’ll call if I need.”

I honestly don't know what I'm doing here. That guy is nice but I just want to be anywhere else. I feel like I'm cheating on Dean and making that lovely man waste it time, I want to hide, alone, under a blanket or even in the woods.

"I'm sorry" I finally say. "I... You seem to be a nice guy but..."

"But your heart is taken" he cuts me with a knowing look.

"Broken actually" I sigh." I should go home. Thank you for the drink. I'm sorry."

The night is dark. I walk on the side of the road, my phone in my hand. I didn't call Dean right away, I walked alone a few minutes, thinking.

I thought about that first time Dean told me he loved me, and that one time he told me he'll love me forever.

I thought about how hopeless I was when he left, how empty the whole world was, how painful each breath...

The roar of the Impala stops beside me. Before I can open the door, Dean comes out. He looks pissed.

"Why didn't you call me sooner ? What happened ? Why are you on the road ?" he asks, frowning.

"I just wanted to walk a few minutes, Dean, no big deal" I shrug, trying to look unimpressed.

"You're lost in the middle of nowhere, what if a car had stopped ?"

"Dean, I'm a hunter, I'm not afraid of the dark."

He bites his lips with what looks like anger and gets in the car.

His eyes on the road, his hands on the wheel, Dean drives in silence. I try not to look at him too much but it's nearly impossible.

"I thought you were saving yourself for the douchebag who made you suffer years ago" he snarls through his teeth.

I can see a shadow of regret darken his face the second he pronounce that sentence.

"I..."

"I'm sorry" he says softer, not letting me answer.

"I didn't have sex with that guy you know" I say looking at his profile. "I mean I don't have to answer to you for anything I do but since you're implying..."

"I'm not implying anything, forget I said that. I'm sorry."

I know Dean, I mean I knew by heart, and I know he acts like that when he's afraid. What is scaring him so much ?

Sam is asleep in the bedroom, and when we enter the room he only turns on his side. They found a nicer motel than usual, with a sort of living room and a bedroom. Sam is sleeping in the big bed and I can see Dean was lying on the couch. I close the bedroom door to let Sam alone.

"You can have the bed..." Dean says low. "Sam is tall but this bed is giant. And I don't recommend the couch."

"Okay" I just say.

I don't want to sleep with Sam, I don't want to know Dean is alone on the other room, on an uncomfortable couch. I just want to take him in my arms and caress the spot on his neck that makes him relax, while he sleeps on my chest... I take a shaky breath and head for the bathroom.

When I come back, Dean is sitting on the sofa, rubbing his neck. Something's wrong with him, he's afraid and sad. And yet he has to sleep alone on this old mattress. My Dean...

Before I can think twice, I sit beside him.

"Are you okay, Dean ?" I ask with the most gentle tone I can use.

"Yeah, of course. Why ?"

I can't tell him how much I know him.

"You look tense."

"Yeah this hunt was rough" he lies.

My all body is screaming at me to take care of him, so my hand comes on his knee.

He freezes and looks at me. I turn a bit to face him and smile warmly.

"I don't save myself for anyone, Dean. I just have nothing left to give..."

He bends and catches my lips. It's like his lips are draw to mine.

I can't let him have me with his heavenly kisses, I have to stay in charge.

Before he can move his hands I put mine on his crotch, making him moan in surprise on my lips. I start opening his belt and he takes me in his arms, rubbing my sides, his rough fingers trying to lift my shirt but I don't let him, and slip a hand on his boxers.

"Fuck" he moans on my mouth, making me instantly wet.

When I wrap my hand around his cock again after all this time, it all comes up.

I remember the time when, in the course of a conversation, we looked on internet to learn more about male anatomy, he thought he knew everything... we had so much fun.

I remember holding him tight when I made him come with my hands, or with my mouth, how desperate I made him ; and the first time I actually made him scream.

My mouth is watering.

I start slowly pumping my hand, making him break the kiss to look at me. He's already panting slightly and I can't help licking my lips. When he bends to kiss me again, I allow just a little peck on my lips and fall off the couch, on my knees between his legs.

"What... Jay. Wh..." he starts but I pull at his jeans to take them down a little with his underwear.

I missed having him on full display. I take him in my hand again and lick his length from the base to the head.

"Fuck !" he tenses.

Licking again I swirl my tongue at the head and take it between my lips. He looks down at me, stunned, his jaw clenched. When I slowly take him in my mouth, I flatten my tongue to touch the more skin I can. His fist close and his stomach moves in contraction, I know I'm doing it right.

I remember him guiding me, telling me what everything I tried felt like, I remember learning to make him come fast or slow, to make him beg.

Sucking on his cock, I let my hands wonder on his balls. He almost let out a scream, and harshly puts a hand on his mouth. I take him deeper and deeper, until my nose touches his pelvis and my throat hurts.

"God Jay..."

I know exactly what he likes, what he loves, what he can barely endure. I learned on him. And repeatedly, I play my favorite partition.

"I... can't..." he moans out of breath and I know he needs to come.

One of his hands comes to my head and he takes my hair in his fist, he's holding back with all his strength not to thrust upward.

"S-Stop I... Fuck... GOD !" he holds back a scream.

With that I feel ropes of cum flood my mouth.

He looks down at me, panting and shaking, releasing my hair he rubs his face. I smile and get up to straddle him, I take him in my arms and swallow loudly next to his ear. He moans again.

"Wow, that was the most... Where did you learn... God" he starts without ever finishing a sentence.

I'm starving. I need him so bad I could cry right now.

"Touch me, Dean" I whine, nibbling at his jaw. "Please touch me."

He bends and kisses me again, not minding at all to taste himself on my lips. He never did.

Then I feel his fingers slip inside my panties and run along my pussy and my head falls backward.

"Fuck you're soaked. Is that me that..." he doesn't finish because I'm already nodding.

"Dean..." I moan, not believing whining this name again. "Dean... Please."

He slips a finger inside me and I violently clench around him, desperate to feel full again. He adds another and I fall on his chest. I kiss and lick his jaw, wailing in his ears.

"You're incredible, baby. I'm already hard again" he says.

If I wasn't so high on him, the nickname would have had the effect of a slap, but I just retain that he was hard.

"Fuck me" I beg in a shaky whisper.

With that he's up, lifting me with him, and he carries me toward the table. He puts me down just a instant to take of my clothes and sits me on the table, my legs wrap around him and squeeze to take him closer.

"I hope Sammy sleeps deeply" he murmurs.

I don't get to answer as his cock bottoms out inside me. I let out a strangled cry and take him in my arms to cling to him. His thrusts are fierce, their force and precision surprise me, making me feel innocent again, in the arms of a tall manly warrior.

We won't last, he's already quivering and pouncing quicker and I'm holding back my own orgasm since that first sharp thrust.

"Stay with me Dean..." I cry, nuzzling in his neck.

"I'm right here" he pants, not getting the measure of my words.

And I come. My voice die in my throat but my body screams and implores him. I'm on the verge of passing out.

Groaning low he comes for the second time, digging his fingers so firmly on my hips I know I will be bruised.

We stay still for an instant, I don't lift my head because I can't look at him right now, it would make me cry. I feel him soften inside of me and I silently beg the universe to let me have him forever. I have a lump in my throat, and my poor heart is sobbing, begging me to stop torturing him.

"That was..." he tries but his voice makes me jump.

I push him gently to make him withdraw and get up.

"Perfect to unwind" I finish.

I get on my tiptoes, still butt-naked, to kiss him.

"Yeah..." he whispers.

And I disappear inside the bathroom.

When I surreptitiously comes under Sam's blanket, I hear him clear his voice.

"I thought you would stay with Dean after that" Sam says turning.

"Oh Sammy I'm sorry you heard..." he hums. "I don't... we're not. It was just this one time..."

"And the other" he adds.

"He told you..."

"He just told me, yeah" he says. "You have quite an effect on him."

I hide my face and turn my back on him to hide the tears. We stay silent for a moment.

"Night Jay."

"Night Sammy."

Night Baby, my mouth mime.

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@tftumblin @mirandaaustin93

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stusbunker · 5 years

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Known: Case of the Weak, Part C

A Supernatural DARK Fan-fiction

Featuring: Dean x Demon!Reader, Dean x Female Vessel OC, Sam, Alan OMC, Crowley, Abaddon

Summary: The Winchesters do what they do, Chloe is still a bit occupied, our reader waits for the bus and Abaddon meets her match. Not anything worth warning you about, unless you haven’t watched season 9. And if you haven’t what are you doing here?! xoxo Stu

Series Masterlist

Still in Rock Springs, WY

April 12, 2014

“Exorcizamus te-,” Sam’s voice rang out behind you, Dean’s face smugly twisting with vindication.

“Omnis immundus spiritus,” you continued, whispering in disbelief beneath your breath. That made Sam stutter briefly as your eyes went black against the chant. You reached out to stroke Dean’s face, but he ducked out of your reach, swatting your new vessel’s hairy arm away.

“omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarii,” Sam spoke louder as he stepped closer.

“Figures.” You sighed dramatically before squaring your feet, preparing for another vacancy. “Good luck and take care of our girl,” you said directly to Dean’s stunned face, ignoring Sam’s looming sneer. You jumped from Alan’s body and out through the bathroom window out to the limitless night sky.

*^*

“What the hell was that about?!” Dean shuttered against the uncomfortableness, catching the guy in front of him before he hit his head on small table. Alan’s eyes blazed open, panic and confusion escaping in gulps and off-putting moans. “Hey, man it’s going to be okay. We gotcha, just breathe.” Though still visibly annoyed Dean’s tone seemed to soothe the recently unpossessed man to functionally acceptable levels.

“What the hell, who was she?!” Alan glared at Dean like he had kicked a puppy.

“That was a demon,” Sam sat on the table top and began to give the spiel.

“Why was she was obsessed with you?! Her mind was filled with you doing all sorts of awful things, man.” Alan started to get scared again as he tried to reason with the memories of his possessor and the reality in front of him.

Dean cocked his head and met the accusations with a rueful squint. “Forget about that bitch, demons mess with your mind. Make you see things and worse. I think it’s time you go home, maybe get drunk and sleep this whole night off, like a nightmare, mhmm?”

Alan left on shaky feet, the world wider and darker than he had ever imagined. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean carefully moved CC back to their room, playing drunk themselves as to why they were carrying an unconscious woman into their hotel room. After securing the doors and windows, they were able to think about their next steps.

“Where’d you think it went?” Sam was watching Dean carefully, unsure of how much it was run-of-the-mill demonic manipulation and how much of the bravado was sincere.

“How the hell should I know? Did you see that, man, it tried to put the moves on me,” Dean scrunched his face before stepping back to let Sam check on CC himself.

“Yeah, pretty clingy, for a demon,” Sam acknowledged offhandedly as he checked CC’s eyes, not sure what he was looking for beyond reaction to light, which he hoped was normal. She was breathing and her heartbeat was steady. “Think Cas can swing a visit or are we really going to send you back in?”

Dean stared at Sam like he had something on his face. “What?”

“Yeah, that came out wrong.”

^*^

The road was endless and smooth, the slight breeze swaying the massive vehicle enough to keep up the illusion. The trucker played a slightly staticky station, humming along at random. She knew he would have had a GPS or the CB going if he was real, but he was just another ferryman. If everything was so obvious, why couldn’t she work out what decision she had to make? Chloe huffed, shifting against the seat belt as the heat waves rose before them in wilted warning.

“You know you ought to have just stayed home, don’t ya?”

She closed her eyes against the accusation, however gentle. “Nothing back there has to do with what’s happening to me now.”

“Well, there’s nothing out here for you that’s gonna help until you know the question.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you could just tell me and save the return trip?” CC didn’t want to be rude, it was a free ride and he had been nothing but kind. Even if he kept changing faces, Bobby, Rufus, Roger, Reynolds, Ellen, and now it was Pastor Jim. It was the faces that didn’t turn up that made her uneasy, her mother, the other elders, John even. The one face she had never seen that she longed for above all others.

“Can’t tell you something you already know.”

“If I wanted to answer a riddle, I would have found a bridge,” CC grumbled, rolling the heavy crank in the door, needing to stick her head in a wind tunnel for the sheer mindless pleasure for a few minutes. She let her eyes tear and her hair trail behind her to inevitable knots. The sun was warm, and the air dried the trails of saline as fast as they formed. The hiss of brakes and the sudden pull of gravity broke through her revelry. She fell suddenly against her chest strap. Confused, she looked back to see the driver’s side door hanging open. An ear-piercing screech followed by a jarring thud forced her to see what her guide was up to. The entire trailer had been unhinged, whatever load left precariously angled against the blacktop.

“What’d you do that for?!”

Geoff’s mischievous smile greeted her, his eyebrows waggling conspiratorially. He swung back into the seat and started the engine, spinning the unweighted cab deftly on its remaining ten wheels. “Better?”

“We’ll see.” Chloe held onto the handle above her head, a hopeful glimmer spread through her.

^*^

Dean didn’t know what he had expected, but the potion still tasted like the wrong end of a junkyard dog. He sucked it back as Sam watched with a look of sheer disgust on his dumb face. Dean inhaled the musty motel room air and coughed, the taste burned, spreading through his chest. He didn’t know why exactly, but he dropped down beside CC’s body, and threaded his hand through her cool fingers. Before he could finish listening to Sam’s instructions, Dean drifted away.

He awoke in the passenger seat of the Impala, parked at an awkward angle in a forgotten, yet familiar driveway.

He knew he was younger, by the easy roll of his shoulders and the old leather jacket stuck with sweat to his face, while bunched against the window. The Mark blatantly missing from his forearm as he brushed down his sleep-ruffled hair, he checked his face in the sideview mirror. For a second, he thought he saw a gangly Sam in the backseat, but as soon as he turned around, he realized he was alone. Good, Sammy should be watching out for them in case the demon returned, not jumping headfirst into CC’s head. He felt bad enough about doing it without her knowledge, even if invading privacy was par for the course of desperate times.

Dean climbed out of the car, closing the door with a resounding clunk. He walked up to the old cast iron framed porch. The inside door swung open before Dean could knock, his hand held precariously in the air as he breathed out his greeting, “Uh, hi.”

“Go home, Dean.” Old Man Collins was exactly like he was the last time Dean saw him, in a word, dead. The entire right side of his face was peeled off, he remembered the chunks the wendigo had slashed from the ancient hunter before they had found him. Luckily for the situation at hand, his clothing was obscuring the more grotesque wounds. “This isn’t about you, boy.”

“Sir, I, uh,” Dean opened the screen door and met Chloe’s grandfather’s deep-set eyes. “Look, I need to find her, she got possessed on my watch and I need to make sure she is okay. I fucked up, bad and its on me to fix it.”

“Save your guilty sob story, son. That thing had its sights on you before CC showed up, but it’s not why Chloe’s gone. Not really.”

Dean’s mouth froze open, brow pinched in confusion. “Okay? But I need to know that CC is going to wake up.”

“She’ll live.”

“Forgive me, but that’s not too reassuring.”

The old man walked away, back into the house and settled in the recliner near the half wall between the living room and the kitchen. Dean followed, looking around as if someone else would appear at any moment. “Sit down, since you can’t bother to listen to reason, at least relax.”

The television was on, but the sound was off, an outdoor channel with fly fishing tips flickered on the old console set. They sat in uncomfortable silence before Dean stood suddenly. “Do you know when she’ll be back or, do I need to hop in the car and track her down?”

“She’s on her way now, but you’re going to leave before she gets here. She has enough things she needs to answer to without you mucking it up.”

“But I can help.”

The old Cheyenne man stood to size up the spunky upstart hunter. “You really can’t. You know I’m not Old Man Collins, right?”

Dean paused, nodding slowly. “You’re part of Chloe’s subconscious.”

“Yeah, the logical, bullshit free part. So, take that shiny black car and get. Before I start listing the reasons why you are no longer welcome in my home.”

“But, Cease and me–,” Dean gestured awkwardly then fumbled for words, the more he thought and spoke, the more he realized the apparition before him was right. Amused acknowledgement sparkled in the man’s dark eyes as Dean’s sheepishness stilled his tongue. “Is she going to wake up?

“That’s up to her, but she’ll live, neither Hell nor Holy water can snuff her out so easily.”

The walls shook and the sun set in a blaze as if in time-lapse, the dark room groaned as Dean caught himself on a lamp stand. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not for you to know. Now, go. She can’t face what’s in the woods until you’re gone.” Dean felt lightheaded, he struggled to hold himself upright. Old Man Collins approached him, patting him firmly on the back. “Goodbye, Dean.”

“No, wait, Mr. Collins, please–,” Dean sat up, wrenching CC’s arm up as he turned to face the dream in which he was no longer welcome.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice and face were suddenly close as Dean squinted into the dim morning light.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Dean groaned, untangling CC’s hand from his before kicking his legs off the side of the bed.

“What happened?”

“I got kicked out. Couldn’t even get to her.”

“By whom?”

“Her grandad.” Dean shrugged. “Well, the stubborn ass part of her brain that showed itself as her grandad.”

“Huh.” Sam chewed on the information.

“Yeah, well, good news? She’s fine, physically, apparently. So, what’d you say we head home? Get her set up in safety while we wait for her to come to?”

Sam nodded, watching Dean’s disappointment bury itself behind action and planning. They carefully laid her in the backseat, consequently, it was still early enough for them not to draw any concern from other guests. Sam paid for both rooms, while Dean stopped to gas up her truck. Simple, easy tasks, busy work to be done as the Mark made its renewed presence known, tingling along his skin.

^*^

Denver, CO

Slipping back into your dissipated form was overwhelming, especially as you traveled farther away. You tested your limits, spiraling as fast as you could go, paying little mind to direction or destination. Experiencing the world as a raging cloud of damnation meant you sensed emotions and actions instead of seeing them. You bee-lined toward a city, with vessels to spare and fear and anger pulling you from your own thoughts. Thoughts of the ultimate rejection, and the look on Dean’s face as he let Sam’s words sweep you into the dust bin. Like you were nothing, or nothing more than the kill of the week.

If you had a gut, it would have rolled with your swift descent.

In the formlessness, with the vast sea of humans littered beneath you, every molecule of your being seemed to hum. Emotions and justifications rushing through your thoughts as you streaked against the heavy spring air. You were bombarded with their feelings like sound vibrations, rattling from an untested speaker system. When you found a corner where a pair of people sat, drenched in fear and lust, you landed at last.

The man was buzzed, but you weren’t sure if it was the gin or the pain killers for his back that were making everything fuzzy. They were on a bench, waiting for a bus. The African American woman sitting on the furthest edge away from the portly white man, who had clearly been making her uncomfortable. Once you got your bearings, you turned to her and smiled. “Don’t worry, Miss, he’s going to be out of commission for a while.”

She muffled a shriek and called on her savior as you stood and sauntered down the street.

*^*

May 6, 2014

Humboldt Hotel

Cleveland, OH

Dean’s body pulsed with purpose, defined by the certainty of his mission and its now tangible completion. If he could just keep Sam from getting in the way; it would be clean and quick. God help him, Dean’s brother always questioned direct orders; Dean tried to come off as practical, cautious. Meanwhile he was jonesing for the fight. The elevator seemed to take forever, the Penthouse unrestricted to even the likes of him, which set his hunter’s logic from four to twelve in the time it took for him to breach the top floor.

Crowley was scared, but he wasn’t stupid. The minion went down easy, almost too fast for him to enjoy it. Before Dean could continue his search, she was there. The Ginger Bitch herself, red lipped and gloating. He couldn’t wait to finish this, and the tug of a not-so-distant strand of memory told him that even this demon couldn’t hold him for long. The lethal combination of the Mark and the Blade only increased his confidence. The Knight that would be Queen was his to finish, if he could just get his ass off of this wall.

Abaddon wasn’t fucking around either, she knew he was her biggest threat despite her haughty sass. She didn’t even hesitate to throw everything she had at him. As the First Blade slipped through his fingers, Dean’s resolve stuttered, but the pull from the Mark centered him, honing the rage and blood lust to draw the weapon back into his grasp. At the moment of reconnection, Dean knew she had reached the bottom of the barrel, her powers no longer strong enough to contain him.

He didn’t register Sam’s entrance, or Crowley’s astonishment, he narrowed his eyes and stalked toward his prey. It was almost sad how easy it was now, the mangled bone slicing into her voluptuous vessel, impossibly smooth and satisfying. Once he had a taste, he needed more. Abaddon’s cries a siren’s call. Dean hacked into the demon, even as the flashes of her essence faded. The blood smattering his face and the floor, it’s warmth delicious, but the hunger never abated. It was only Sam’s voice breaking through the fog that got Dean to look beyond the corpse before him and his need to destroy.

The tunnel vision righted, and Dean was himself, or the new version of himself, the marked and armed version. Letting Crowley talk his way out of their demands, Dean knew that his list of potential kills held few as deserving as the King of Hell. But a Winchester didn’t back out on a deal and Crowley had done right by them, until CC’s face floated through his thoughts. He never even asked whose stooge had made a vegetable of her. Unfounded retaliation sounded perfectly acceptable now. The calm returned, because Dean would find the demon and he would take his time.

Tags: @mogaruke @dontshootmespence @mrswhozeewhatsis@smi727@sassykayla255@supernaturalboi@dumbthotticus@eve05glee@veroinnumera@spn-dean-and-sam-winchester@fanfictionrecommendations-com@soullesscollection-world

Next Chapter: Angels are Assholes

#moc!dean #dean winchester x reader #demon!reader #dean fanfic #spn fanfic #dean winchester #spn dark fic series #dark fic #moc!dean x demon!reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x female vessel oc #dean x cc #dean winchester x female oc #known series #abaddon #s9 #the king of the damned

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avocadean · 7 years

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Take a Break

Request: Heeyy so i was wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader is a teenager like 17ish? And she's been on the show for 7 years so everyone is so so protective of her, her mom is always really busy with traveling so they look out for her a lot. The reader gets really busy in the industry besides SPN and they can tell she needs a break so they give her that and go to texas where J&J live and just have fun and talk and stuff? If you have time it would be awesome! :)

Title: Take a Break

Pairings: Jensen x platonic!teen!reader, jared, danneel, gen, and kids

Words: around 3,000

Warnings: slight angst, fluff

A/N: Hi guys! I’m so sorry for not posting for like... ever. I’ve been super busy with school. Senior year picked up a few weeks ago, and I’ve been busy with that, plus tennis. And, homecoming will be coming up shortly... I’ll be busy. Here is something that was requested eons ago. I started it back when it was requested, and just finished it. I’ve been having writer’s block, so please, bear with me. I apologize to you, anon, if it wasn’t what you were expecting.

Anyway, please leave some feedback, and reblog if you wish!

Tags: @rosegoldquintis @graceb200371 @phire23 @wishedworld

*If you want to be removed or added to my tags list, just shoot me an ask and let me know, please! :)

Fic below the cut.

“Hey, Jay, could you help me with this?” you walked into Jensen’s trailer, multiple folders in your hand.

He turned his attention from his script to you and scooched over on the couch, inviting you to sit. “Yeah, what’s up?”

You plopped down on the sofa, bouncing a little. “These,” you laid folders on the floor by your guys’ feet, “...are what’s up.”

A quizzical look from Jensen gave you the cue to continue. “Each folder is a different job offering. That one,” you pointed to the folder on your left, “...is for some- modeling gig. That one,” you pointed to the one on the right of the previous folder, going in order, “...is a commercial with… uhh… crap. Hang on,” you fumbled, “...Ah. Yes. Neutrogena. The next one is-”

“Y/N.”

You looked up, “Yeah?”

“You know that we have an episode to shoot the rest of this week, right?” Jensen informed you, then went on, “And didn’t you just finish a few other jobs?” You told him, yes, and then whispered a soft curse under your breath and put your head in your hands.

Jensen put a comforting hand on your back and rubbed it in a soothing manor.

“God, this was so much easier to do when my mom was around to help and sift through these,” you looked up from your hands and over to Jensen, who was looking at you in slight pity.

“I know,” he smiled softly.

“So, should I just have my agent call everyone up, and tell them I can’t do it?”

Jensen thought for a second before answering. “Hmm, no. Ask them if they can hold. You still want the jobs, but you have more important duties.”

You mumbled out an okay and picked up your stuff and yourself. Just as you got to the door, you turned around. “See you in an hour?”

Jensen went back to his script but answered. “Yup,” and you walked out into the crisp night air.

---

“Dean… no. You can’t. You can’t just leave me. You can’t leave Sam and Cas,” your character pleaded, who was kneeling on the ground next to Sam.

Dean looked at your character solemnly, with Death looking on in the background. Dean knew what he had to do, but was struggling with the reality of it.

“I’m sorry,” and that was your cue. You had a grueling monologue to do, but you froze. You couldn’t think of the first word, let alone the first line.

Jared looked at you from the corner of his eye, causing the director to shout, “Cut!”

You hung your head in frustration, and a few tears leaked out. “God… I’m sorry guys,” you looked up, tear tracks lining both cheeks, “...could I have a script please?”

“No, but you can take 10,” called Misha from off-set, a slight concern in his voice. The director agreed with him, and you just groaned.

“I’m fine, I just need to see my lines,” your voice started to hitch at the end, and everyone was looking at you with worried glances.

When no one moved, your frustration grew.

“Fine, I’ll get it myself,” you stood up swiftly. Black dots clouded your vision, and your balance was off. Quickly, you put a hand on Jared’s shoulder to balance yourself.

He grabbed your hand to support you even more, and Jensen rushed over to your side.

“I’m fine,” you insisted. But no one was buying it.

“Y/N, you’re not fine. Come on. Let’s get you some water,” Jensen cooed. But, you objected.

“No, honestly, I’m fine. I just stood up too fast. Please, I just want to shoot this and get it done with. I keep holding everything up,” Jensen tried to say something, “...No. Just… please? I’m fine. I promise. I just need to glance over the script.”

This time Jared tried to butt-in, but he was cut off by one of the writers who was on stand-by.

“She’s right. If she say’s she’s fine, then she’s fine. Let’s just shoot this last scene, then we can all go home for the night.”

No one was opposed to that, but you still received worried glances from everyone. A PA bustled over to you and handed you a script that was open to your part. Quickly, you read over it, and it was back in your head again.

“Okay, I’m good.”

The director nodded, and everyone got back in their places.

“Alright, Y/N, we’ll pick up where we left off. Camera one?!”

“Ready!”

Jared asked if you were sure you were fine, to which you replied with a glare.

“Rolling!”

“Act four, scene five, take 2,” the Clapper shut the clapboard and ran out of the shot and onto the side.

“And… action!”

Your character paused and looked up at Dean with teary eyes. It was no issue for you or your castmates to jump right into character.

You choked back a gentle sob, and let your character run freely.

“No, Dean. No. You don’t get to be sorry. You don’t get to walk away from me… from Sam. From your family, because we stick together. We stick together and we always have and we always will. You will not- and I mean it -leave me here Dean. You are my brother, and I just don’t work without you. Sam doesn’t work without you. We need you, and you are not taking the easy way out goddamnit!” by the end, your character was shouting with a strong, and angry voice.

Dean just looked on. A few tears streamed down his face as he watched his two little siblings. The very two people who he was supposed to protect.

“Y/C/N, Sammy… close your eyes.”

Sam listened, knowing what was coming. Your character, however, refused. She looked on at her brother with a steadfast stare, challenging him to do what he had to do, all while looking her in the eyes.

Dean begged once more, before lowering his head.

Y/C/N, please. Close your eyes,” there was a pregnant pause, “...or I’ll make you,” Dean threatened.

Your character backed down and told Dean in an almost whisper, “Just know that I forgive you. For all of the bad you’ve done,” and you closed your eyes.

“Cut!”

Your eyes opened slowly, relieved that you could finally go home. Again, you stood to your feet; this time without any problem. You praised Jensen and Jared on their acting, and bid them a good night. However, you didn’t get off so easily.

“Y/N,” Jensen said in a patronizing tone.

You turned around, facing him and Jared. Both men had concern etched into their faces. “Yeah?”

“Don’t ‘yeah’ me. You know what I’m going to say,” you shut your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose. You opened your mouth to interrupt, but one stern look from Jared made you close your mouth.

A sigh of defeat passed through your lips, “Fine. But let's just finish this week.”

Filming the final episode of season 10 was grueling. Like any other episode, it was shot out of order. The final scene with the darkness coming was shot on Wednesday, while the ‘spell’ work was shot on Friday. Finally, when it was all said and done, there was a celebration.

All of the cast and crew cheered to another successful season, and to many more to come. You tried to participate as much as possible, but you were just exhausted.

While everyone else was drinking champagne, you were sitting in your trailer, fumbling with the phone in your hands. With reluctance, you clicked on the contact’s name and held the phone up to your ear.

The line rang several times before a tired “Hello” came out of the phone.

“Hi, mom,” tears pricked your eyes, hearing your mom’s voice for the first time in months.

“Hey, baby. How’s everything going?” she sounded so tired, and you instantly felt guilty for calling. But, you knew talking to her was rare, so you continued on, cherishing every word.

“Good. Yeah, it’s going good. We just finished filming the season finale of Supernatural, so everyone else is celebrating with alcohol.”

A sweet chuckle came from the other side of the phone, “Well, congrats sweety. And, just between you and me, you can have a sip of something…”

It was your turn to laugh, “Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” after that, neither of you really said anything, making for a silence to ring through the air.

You were about to say something, but your mom’s voice cut you off.

“Hey, honey, I’m going to go to bed, okay? It’s been a long day for me. I just got into Tokyo from London, so I’m a little tired. You should get some rest as well. You deserve it.”

You paused, “Okay, yeah. Get some sleep. I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Alright, sounds good. G’night.”

“Night,” you whispered. The connection was cut off, and you were left alone again. You decided to take your mother’s advice, and take a little nap.

What was meant to be only an hour nap turned into a thirteen-hour nap, which was interrupted by a loud fist on your trailer door.

“Y/N, you here?” Jensen called.

It took you a second, before finally semi-shouting an answer.

“Well, can I come in?”

“Gimme a sec,” you told him. Your voice was laced with sleep, and your joints made plenty of popping sounds as you stood up.

Slowly, you stumbled to the door and unlocked it. With a twist of the knob the door opened and revealed a dressed Jensen and Jared. You also noticed the sun was striking against the lot, and the birds were ending their morning song.

“What,” you deadpanned.

“Y/N,” Jared started but was cut off by Jensen.

“You look like hell.”

“Thanks. I’m flattered,” your sleepy voice was laced with sarcasm. You walked away from your door but left it open so the two men could step inside.

You climbed back onto your make-shift bed and pulled the covers back over your body. Jensen and Jared just stared at you, prompting you to again ask what the wanted.

“We just came to check in on you. We are heading back to Texas, and wondered if you wanted to come with us?” Jared said in a hopeful voice. You’d stayed with them before, but only for a small amount of time. This time, however, you had no clue how long you’d be with them.

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” you stammered, “...I don’t want to burden you and your families.”

“You wouldn’t burden us, Y/N. Plus, there is plenty of space at my house. You know that,” Jensen informed. At this point, you knew that there was really no option but to go back with them, so you caved.

“...Fine. Just let me grab my stuff,” you said as you started to walk to the back of your trailer.

“We’ll be out front with the car!”

---

“Y/N!” greeted Daneel, her arms encircled you in a comforting and warm hug. You greeted her as well when you heard a small voice also say your name. Well, it was an attempt at your name.

“Hi JJ!” you swooped up the toddler in your arms and giggled slightly. When she saw her father though, she squirmed to get down. You obliged to her wishes, and gently placed her back on the ground. You watched as Jensen repeated the same action as you, but in a more fatherly way.

Daneel walked up to her husband, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, “Welcome home, Jay.”

He smiled, looking happier than ever, “Good to be home.”

They focused on each other for a bit before Jensen put his daughter down, grabbed his bags, and led the way into his home.

Daneel followed, with JJ on her hip. She turned to you, “Let me show you to your room,” she said in a soft and welcoming tone. You agreed and followed her up the stairs and down the hall until she stopped outside of a dark wooden door. She twisted the knob and stepped inside, with you entering the room after she.

“You can unpack, and just make yourself at home. I think we’ll order pizza if that’s alright with you?”

You smiled gratefully at her, “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

She left you alone, softly closing the door behind her. You stood in the middle of the room and just looked around. It was cozy. The bed was a queen-sized mattress with beautiful bedding on it. The whole room looked like something out of a catalog.

Eventually, you unpacked your clothes from your suitcase and placed some of them in the closet, while others when inside of the dresser drawers.

To say you were exhausted was an understatement, so you decided to lay down for a little bit. This time, you set an alarm.

A soft knock woke you, slightly cursing yourself for not waking to your alarm. You told whoever it was to come in, and they slowly opened the door.

Jensen peeked into your room, seeing your sleepy form. “Pizza is here. Come on down when you are ready,” he said gingerly.

“Okay, thanks.”

You stifled a yawn just as he said, “No problem,” and left the door open as he walked away.

It had been a few weeks with the Ackles’, and you were having the best time. The kids loved you, and you loved them. Daneel always gushed about how much JJ liked you and how well you were with her. Jensen felt the same.

You and the family would play in the pool during the day and then wind-down and watch movies at night. Usually Tangled was the first choice, but there was some variety when the Little Mermaid was thrown into the mix.

Jared, Gen, and their kids would also come over and they’d have a playdate while you would sit with the ‘adults’. Today was one of those days.

JJ, Shep, and Tom were all splashing about, their little arm floaties aiding them in the water. Squeals of delight were let out occasionally, indicating that the three toddlers were having a good time. The twins and Odette were napping in the pack-n-play, and Jensen, Jared, Danneel, Gen, and you were all sitting out in at the pool, watching the kids and sitting in the shade.

There was a gentle breeze and your hair fluttered around lightly. Everyone was just finishing laughing from a joke that you told, and you looked around in pride and content. Everything was OK, and you couldn’t ask for anything more. But, one thing did cross your mind.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” you said. Gently, you got up and walked into the house and stopped at the kitchen. You stood by the island counter and held your cell phone. Without thinking, you dialed the number and waited for the line to stop ringing. Only, it went on and on. The ringing only stopped when the voicemail recording started. So, you left a quick message and hung up the phone.

A subtle sadness washed over you, and so you stood and sulked for a little while. It was only when you felt a hand on your shoulder did you move.

Jensen looked at you with concern and love in his eyes. “You alright, kiddo?”

You sighed, “Yeah, I’ll be okay. I just miss my mom, you know?”

“C’mere,” he said lightly, pulling you in for a big hug, which you melted into. A couple of tears slid down your cheeks and wouldn’t stop. Jensen held you while you softly cried, comforting you to his best ability.

Your tears slowed after several minutes, but Jensen still didn’t let go. Neither did you. Both of you stood in the middle of the kitchen, hugging. You were embracing the paternal comfort he provided when little feet padded against the floor.

“Group hug!” JJ cried. In result of her giddiness, you giggled and pulled out an arm to embrace her as well. In a second, JJ was hugging your and Jensen’s legs and pressed her soaked body against them, effectively soaking them, too.

More little feet were heard, and more arms joined the hug. It was when Jared and the two women threw their arms around you that you started to laugh. It was that moment that you realized that no matter what, you will always be surrounded by people who love you and care for you. It was then, that you realized, your family is always with you.

105 notes · View notes