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rainymoodlet · 10 months

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[TJoL+] A Summary of Events,

I realize that I skip around a lot when I'm posting legacy gameplay - the truth is, my ADHD and limited play-time constantly mixes into impatience when it comes to certain stages of my gameplay! When y'all last saw Ivory, she had just gone on a date with Eva Capricciosa, so it's a little jarring that the next time we see our heir is her living with Eva and Cassandra Goth in an established relationship, right?

The reality is, I took plenty of pictures following the events of the past few days in-game - I just didn't like any of them. Figures that I got to hodge-podge them together in Photoshop to run a quick summary... only to end up loving the way they all came out. 😑

I thought I might summarize the last few days so that we can pick up with where I'm currently at in my gameplay. I'm planning on updating y'all with a more official post about the KMiK/TJoL+ posting schedule (KMiK during the week, TJoL on the weekends) while my work schedule settles in!

So, we pick up where we left off... with Ivory (after randomly pulling a "Flirty Introduction" in the middle of gameplay) having just completed a very successful all-nighter date with the lovely Eva Capricciosa. 💅⛓️

The morning after her date with Eva, Ivory had a hot daydream (left, courtesy of WickedWhims) about her ex-girlfriend, Cassandra Goth, while taking a shower. Ivory and Cassandra used to date in high school, but broke up amicably before they went to University.

Not two hours after that daydream did Ivory get a call from Eva (right). It went down a little differently in-game (Ivory and Eva didn't officially start dating until after this all went down) but it was the main inspiration for this edit.

At this point I guffawed out loud - I was already sold on Eva and Ivory as a couple, but Cass and Ivory were something I was trying to get Ivory back to (spoilers djkfhd but Cassandra is a Food Critic and was eventually going to be one of the reviewers for Ivory's restaurant - my Kruegers are establishing a habit of autonomously shortening their timelines dfkjsdf)

It was only natural, then, that Ivory invited Cassandra out to breakfast - the literal morning after hooking up with Eva. 😮‍💨

Ivory just takes gorgeous women out as an excuse to get pictures of Experimental Dishes and do research for work - she just earned the Workaholic lifestyle and it makes so much sense.

(She Dip Kissed Cass with a drink in her hand and it was just so... her.)

It seemed as though Cassandra missed Ivory just as much as she missed her, because she was instantly receptive to all of Ivory's questions about her relationship status, her thoughts on open relationships and her goals, etc. etc. etc. When Ivory asked Cass her opinion on Eva, Cass was all smiles - and the literal minute I clicked "Go Home" and the event ended, Ivory got this text message:

And that just sealed it, to be honest!

From there, it was as simple as setting up a Dynamic for the three of them in my WickedWhims settings to disable Jealousy (I didn't have the time to deal with OpenLoveLife's poly settings omg) and let Ivory and Eva take the reins from there! If I had a Youtube channel I'd have been talking you all through this as it played, so bear with my nerdy ass as I describe how it happened story-wise dkfjhsd ~

The three of them ended up "gOiNg OuT tO pArTy" in Windenburg the same night (as I said... I'm impatient) and right off the bat, Eva made good use of that "no Jealousy" rule. She and Ivory circled a very confused Cassandra, who was still processing the fact that the two women who had very boldly asked her out back-to-back

one.) knew each other and two.) were both looking at her with "I'm going to Ruin You in the Best Way Possible" eyes 👀

Eva produced a single rose, and Cassandra looked at Ivory like "... is this for real?"

And when I tell you Ivory looked at her like this.

... hell, I want her to top me. Can I say that? Is that legal?

What progressed was them literally autonomously making out and flirting with each other all night ~*~* in tha club *~*~ and when I tell you I'm so genuinely upset that I couldn't make these shots work as an individual post at all, but I think they look SO GOOD HERE?

Like, have you ever seen a Sim more down for this than Eva??? She's become one of my favorite townies and I have never touched her with a thousand foot pole... solely because I never play in Windenburg dfksdhj. I have been missing out and so are you all omg

From that night, I literally just started decorating their apartment as you see it here. (MDNI with that post just because it has the minutest of Cassandra side nip but still) because, say it with me now... I'm impatient.

With limited playtime and "I look at this too long"itis affecting Ivory's small Fashion District apartment, I moved these three in the night after they started dating djhsfh

Below are some highlights of gameplay that I once again could not make work in a post by themselves... and now love what I've done with them and think they look great in the body of this post tf :/

(I didn't realize I took so little pictures of Cassandra... especially when I'm admittedly so obsessed with the make-over I gave her dskjdf)

Throughout this time, Ivory began filming herself cooking and uploading the videos to SimTube - it gained her a good bit of fame, and after advancing to Level 9 in the Chef career, she reached Level 2 Celebrity status within a week! (It took an exhausting amount of replying to comments and dealing with laggy cooking livestreams, omg)

Throughout this process, all three of them were constantly popping diaper thought bubbles - Ivory for sure had baby fever, because the minute she would come home from work and interact with her partners, she'd start thinking about lil nooboos!

I didn't know, however, that both Ivory and Eva had really low fertility - 20% and 30% respectively! (In my games, couples can have biological children regardless with a system of random rolls I developed before the Science Baby update: Eva rolled as Can Become Pregnant whereas Ivory and Cassandra rolled Can Get Others Pregnant. Which yes means that if Ivory and Cassandra wanted to have a genetic child they'd need to have a Science Baby, no it makes no sense, I know)

Eva had the Would Be Happy to Have A Child trait, and it absolutely wrecked her every time she failed to conceive. I was trying to track her fertility, get them goin' on the right days, and none of it was working. (This was before I figured out their fertility rate.)

So I -- can you believe this -- got impatient and cheated their fertility rates to 80% and 75% respectively, had them use the straight-up Try for Baby interaction instead of relying on them to abuse WickedWhims, and sent Ivory off to work with my fingers crossed.

Ivory came back from work with a promotion to Level 10, Celebrity Chef, and some fantastic news from her girlfriend. 🥹

(whom she proceeded to autonomously massage & snuggle tf out of 🥹🥹🥹)

The cats totally sensed that Eva was pregnant, okay, it was adorable. Dolce (her Yorkie) followed her around even more, and throughout the days as Ivory climbed the ranks of stardom (she's so close to getting her restaurant and that Third Rank!) and Cassandra made more and more breakthroughs...

Well...

We pick up after that bassinet there has already been sold, friends! 😉 If you made it this far, bless you for puttin' up with me absolutely rambling about my silly little gameplay - I really enjoyed revisiting this side of their story, and I was so frustrated that I just couldn't figure out how to work it into that ~ Tumblr Gameplay Styling ~ that I prefer for my posts hrrrr

Hopefully this helps to streamline the Kruegers gameplay, and gives us more context for following the story of our Gen 3 Heir! 🥹 I'm hoping to do a more posed/gameplay story-based feel for his chapter, and I'm so excited to introduce you guys to him. :') I am genuinely going to try and be as linear with his ass as possible... at least, when he gets to Young Adult sdkfjdsf

Have a cookie, baby, you've earned it! 🍪🍪🍪

#;tjol+#ts4 #ts4 legacy #sim: ivory #sim: eva #sim: cassandra goth #oh man this got... LONG. i did not expect that so i will definitely be summarizing this in bullet points later omg kgfddfkj #this is absolutely inspired by the brilliant minds of brandy softpine and cinamun and kurt zombietrait and olli lucidicer and #river mattodore and all my brilliant simblr fellow creatives who so clearly love their pixels okay #i could not make ANY of these pictures work for some reason and now i'm staring at them like... wow i love my gameplay #and i hate that i couldn't make them work but i kind of... love them laid out like this #cassandra is literally baby's favorite mom so idk why she doesn't feature more but kjhdf i promise she's like the center of ivory and eva's #fcking worlds #the game keeps thinking they're all cheating on one another its hilarious #they have so many miletones while they're all kissin' each others cheeks in the kitchen #i have so many more tags but i must away!!! i will be back but ENJOY I LOVE YOU IF YOU READ THIS AND I LOVE YOU REGARDLESS MWAH MWAH

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flecks-of-stardust · 1 year

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[image description: two images of a Northern Mockingbird perched on some branches. It is a soft grey-brown, with darker feathered wings that have a white band in the middle. Its eyes are a brilliant gold. In the first image, it is looking off to the right, one eye staring at the camera, and is somewhat hunkered down. Its body is framed by a curving twig. In the second image, it is perched higher up, rump facing the camera as it looks to the sky. There is a big fluffy white cloud in the background. end image description]

birdy :D

#big long ramble about my day so far in the tags just cause i felt like sharing #i had a rheumatology appointment today but i was Way early #arrived when the doctors had broken for lunch. the receptionist told me there was a new nature path past the parking lot #and i was like hell why not. maybe i’ll find a cool bug #i did not find many bugs but hooo there were so many birds it was amazing #this fella was the highlight #i was trying to get a picture of it through a bush cause it looked cool #but then it flapped up In Front Of Me. like less than a meter away #and i just stared wide eyed at it for like three seconds #snapped a few pictures because it posed for me for a little #it also gave me a little gift :’) i didn’t catch the poop falling on camera lol #then it flitted off back the way it came #there was also a hummingbird (anna’s hummingbird i think)#and a few others i couldn’t identify. probably a few bushtits and i think two goldfinches at least #and also some really fucking loud geese(?) that i could not find #it was nice. talking a walk here and there is so nice #i did eventually find some bugs. there was a honeybee that was getting blown across the ground by the wind #literally tumbling all the way. i scooped it onto a leaf and put it somewhere a bit less windy #and there was another in a flower that seemed a bit stronger #also there were these little solitary bee home tubes!!! didn’t see any bees come out though #and there was a cat :D #hshshshshdh it’s been nice so far #my appointment went well too #mockingbird blessing :)#if i had a nickel for every time i happened to somehow be allowed within a meter of a bird to get a super clean picture of them #i would have two nickels #which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice /ref #the other instance was of hatchlings too :’D god they were so round and cute #i miss them i hope they had lots of babies

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derelictdumbass · 2 months

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vibrating at supersonic speed and obliterating into tiny pieces

#i've been scrolling through rp blogs for no reason what so ever at all #nostalgia brain tells me rp was so much fun and it clings to the one long rp i did with a girl where my oc rescued her oc from some big bad #and the oc rp i was doing with remy was also rad..... basically coop writing a fic for that one lmao #for months i've been like. just make a random rp blog and see what happens but for who. what. where. when #i have a lola sideblog and i've been considering making that also a rp blog for her bc that could be fun but idk 😔#i just wanna be unwell about fictional characters and put them in situations collaboratively #why do i gotta put em in situations all by myself all the time huh !!! just cuz i made them and they live in my brain and my brain alone !!#anyway if u need me i'll be staring at the ceiling contemplating and passing out without making a decision #nadine is typing...

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amethystina · 3 months

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I just saw this on X (formerly known as twitter) and I immediately thought of you. And I don't know why I had the urge to send it to you, so here it is.

It describes perfectly how I feel about your writing. I usually don't read ongoing fics, but if I find one really intresting I read the first chapter to have a better understanding of it and save it for when it is finished. But with 'Who holds the devil', I felt like I couldn't stop reading. Like I physically couldn't stop reading, and it was all due to your writing. Everything you write about, every detail, every emotion, and every expression is written in the most unique and intresting way I have ever read.

The reason I sometimes prefer reading over watching things is because I have the ability to imagine what I am reading and emmerse myself completly in it when the writing is done well. And you don't just do it well, you do it INCREDIBLE.

In my personal experience, you are the first writer with which I like the long descriptions of things. Because when I read them, nothing feels too long or too much, it just feels perfect for the storytelling. And I only realise that there were a lot of words written after the fact, because everything just sails smoothly.

I don't know why I had the urge to send you this 😅, and I hope I didn't overwhelm you with my unstructured oversharing on here. But I just wanted to say, you are incredible and I hope you stay healthy and happy in the future (even if you suddenly decide to stop writing this fic, there is no pressure as you have already given us a lot).

Take care 💜

I am a little overwhelmed, not going to lie, but in a good way? In that way where I don't really know how to respond because I'm feeling so many things right now, but all of them good.

I've said it before but it will never not blow my mind when I hear just how much my writing seems to affect people. Because it doesn't feel all that glamorous to me, you know? When I'm sitting there, frowning at my document, trying to figure out what word goes where. Or when I'm trying to find the right rhythm and cadence to the sentences, and capture the right emotions and imagery to tell the story I can see playing out inside my head.

But I am, of course, incredibly flattered and also very proud to know that I can have such an impact. I started writing fanfics on a whim — because I wanted to write at least one before I died — and the art of writing (or whatever you want to call it) wasn't even something I reflected on at the time. Well, tbh, I can't say that I do that all that much now, either — I just write what I think sounds nice xD

Point being, even if I've always put a lot of effort into my writing, it never really occurred to me that I might end up being genuinely good at it. That felt like such an unobtainable goal that I never even considered it. And it's been pretty disorienting to be told that I am (but, again, in a good way).

Especially since I go against a lot of the common writing advice that you see floating around. I write a lot of words — some that are definitely not needed. I use adverbs, adjectives, and whatever the heck I want. I often do a lot of telling instead of showing. I repeat things and spell things out for the readers in a way that good writers shouldn't. I do a lot of hand-holding with my readers, taking them through every step of the character's thought process and reactions. I write detailed descriptions of what the characters are feeling instead of only showing it through their actions. The list goes on.

Like, if you look at what the writing advice says, I should be a terrible writer xD

But I'm glad that I'm not. I'm glad that I can write things that move people and that the stories I tell feel that engaging. And I love being able to share them and spread the joy. It's such a wonderful feeling to know that I've made a difference somehow, however small it may be.

So thank you so, so much for your kind words. Which feels wholly inadequate to convey just how grateful I am that you took the time to write and send this, but trust me when I say that it means a lot to me. I never thought I'd reach this point, with people reaching out to me just to tell me how much they love my writing. How wonderful is that? It leaves me utterly speechless sometimes.

How is this my life?

And so far I have no plans to stop writing Who Holds the Devil, don't worry. I can't promise it'll happen quickly what with everything that's going on in my life right now (like being officially diagnosed with burnout due to long Covid — yay me) but I'm way, way too stubborn to give up. And I also love the fic and the characters too much to stop xD I want to see this through to the end just as much as the rest of you.

So yeah. Thank you again for sending this — it made my day. And you take care, too 💜

#Amethystina Replies #sharpeyedeagle #Who Holds the Devil #I'm not joking when I say that I sat staring at this ask for several minutes after I got it #But in a good way #Because man #It truly blows my mind #I did that?#I made you feel that way?#That's amazing #I can barely wrap my head around it #Especially the long descriptions thing #Like #That's so obviously something that should make my writing worse if you listen to any kind of writing advice #Long isn't necessarily better #But it's also one of the things I get the most compliments on #That the amount f details help my readers feel closer to the characters #But it shouldn't actually work #And I have no idea why it does xD

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hella1975 · 3 months

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you city types are insane i was up at 6am listening to 'fox screaming (1 hour extended version)' this morning. worst shit i have to deal with in the sticks is like. a cow mooing sometimes

#IT'S SUCH A DISTRESSING NOISE TOO WHY DO THEY SOUND LIKE THAT #LIKE I WAS ALMOST OUT OF BED BC I THOUGHT A CHILD WAS GENUINELY SCREAMING #AND THEN I REMEMBERED YOUSE HAVE FOXES #WHY DID IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ALSO. I WAS JUST STARING AT MY CEILING LIKE BROTHERRRR SHUT UP #just googled why foxes scream. i hope the dick was worth it bitch #hella goes to uni

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ourlordapollo · 11 months

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Had an absolutely baller time filming cosplay TikToks alone in my living room last night lmao

#having a classic 'did i stare at this too long or have i been ugly this whole time' moment so you have to be soooo nicies to me #pspspsps other aa cosplayers on tumblr pspspsps let's be friends #ace attorney #ace attorney cosplay #phoenix wright cosplay #anyway that Youthful Flush on my cheeks was just me having an allergic reaction to something or other #WAHAHAHA. I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO PUT FOUNDATION ON LMFAAOOO #how did i DO that #and more importantly. why did the pictures turn out so nice.#goddd that explains why i felt so weird skdhrshd like i was looking i myself like 'this can't be right' but i couldnt put my finger on it #im such a dumbass 🤣🤣🤣🤣#delphi washington

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britneyshakespeare · 1 month

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i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

#tales from diana #long post #sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness #and idk. im tired. im so tired #do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not #thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation #not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again #that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para #i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth #i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to #'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on #the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god #i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him #like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do #earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said #that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild #my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak #like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior #i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task #and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did #i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly #like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW #that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer #a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively #that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him

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