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talesfromthetraproom · 2 years

Text

How the Most Harmless Tech Got Her Criminal Reputation

Cast:

The Closest Thing we Have to a House Crew (Myself and C)

Today's Tale Brought to You By:

Constantly Contemplating the Cons of Committing Capital Crimes

A Kidnapping Attempt Gone Horribly Wrong

Inappropriate Usage of Tie Line

If I had a nickel for every time LX has been solely and unquestionably responsible for getting me sick, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's enough for me to plot his untimely demise, right?

The first time this happens, I find myself sitting at the FoH lighting console at 10 am on a random Tuesday morning in April, watching with a growing sense of dread as I am steadily encroached upon by somewhere on the order of 700 snotty-nosed elementary school children. Sensing my impending doom and knowing exactly who to blame for it, I text my best friend C at some point during house open.

"C, how annoyed would you be if I strangled LX?"

"Do not murder LX until after the next theater dept show. I need him."

(It's worth noting that in addition to being concert hall crew and also being younger than me, C alternates roles as Production Electrician and LX designer for the theater dept).

Unfortunately, fair enough. I wouldn't dare sabotage The Roles We Play over a pair of swollen sinuses. A week goes by and, now more or less recovered, I attend a board game night at which I get my ass repeatedly handed to me by one of the show's electricians. So I text C again.

"C, how annoyed would you be if I strangled this guy?"

"Do not murder him. He's actually half competent at his job. I need him."

Party pooper.

Are you sensing a pattern? Because I'm sensing a pattern. Suitably annoyed, I text back.

"Well, fine then. If you won't let me crime anyone else, I suppose I'll just have to crime you!"

"You can't crime me, I'm too busy."

Challenge accepted.

Note the use of the word "crime" here. I have no intention of threatening my best friend with murder - however jokingly - but generalized crime? Crime is never off the table. Somewhat arbitrarily, I decide kidnapping is my weapon of choice.

Thus begins the dance as I spend an inordinate amount of time and energy over the following month attempting time and again to kidnap C with all the success of a cartoon villain. I try bribing him with pizza. I try scooping him up on his walk home from work. I try jumping him in the lobby of the building we live in together. I try enlisting the incredibly enthusiastic help of several mutual friends. He is always one step ahead of me, always with an excuse and a smirk and a "tsk, you're not being aggressive enough".

——————

At some point in early May, C and I are let out of work earlier than anticipated. I must be telegraphing my eagerness to execute the latest of my dastardly plans, because LX notices something is up.

“What’s got you in such a hurry, Wynn?”

“Oh you know…things to do, people to see, crimes to commit”

Mistake.

LX immediately knows two things: 1) I’m up to something mischievous, and 2) that mischief somehow involves his other favorite tech that is currently giving me a suspicious side eye and edging slowly out the stage door.

“You can’t murder C, Wynn. I need him until like…June.”

Oh god, not you too.

That day, I get all the way home with the PM’s set of master keys before discovering they are even in my pocket. The kidnapping attempt, of course, still fails and C is now of the strong opinion that my criminal skills “need some serious work”.

LX, meanwhile, is sprinting away with the joke. Within a week he has a brand new rule: “No murder at the Arts Center” he repeats incessantly, every time I so much as give another tech a sideways glance. Within two weeks the theater dept crew has refined this rule to allow a “donut of allowed murder”; basically instating that nobody is allowed to murder in the arts center or on the university’s campus, but so long as its within city limits on our side of the river it’s okay. This places (I suspect intentionally) the building that C and I have just moved into in disputed territory, as it is “owned” by the university but located a few blocks north of campus limits. Heated arguments ensue.

I would like to remind the reader at this point that I was not intent on murdering anyone but instead conveyed a vague need for general crime, and all interpretations of that statement are in no way my responsibility.

I never did get away with kidnapping, and eventually was forced to give up the ghost when C went home for the rest of the summer to visit his parents. I’d hazard a guess that in the absence of other student techs and more sporadic work, it’s been about a month since I’ve heard the phrase “Wynn No Murder” in a warning tone out of LX’s mouth or been bonked over the head with the designated “Wynn No Murder” stick. But the stick still exists, and the students return in less than a month…

To Be Continued.

#technical theatre #tales #stage techs being a force of chaos #was I also clearly telegraphing that I had a crush on C #and was definitely just trying to ask him out #probably #but that’s a tale for another time

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charmerquilled · 2 years

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??? - Very interesting!! Look what love did to you, poor child! Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. You won't suffer anymore, forget your past and let's conquer the Universe together! >:)

Everything went BLACK once Rakan shot through Zoe’s heart like a blazing comet. All around him was a DARK void, not even a star or galaxy announced their long living presence within the ink. Not even the warm magic of Lux, Ahri, and the rest of the others could survive against the pressing blackness of the cold abyss.

Was he still blasting forward? Or was he still and floating in place? Was he falling? Was he dead again? If that was the case, if he had a Nickel every time that happened, he would have two Nickels. And that in itself should be considered very, very weird.

But everything felt still and stagnate despite the fact he was still careening forward in a ERRATIC pattern that no one could bare witness too. His hook like talons that replaced his strong fingers held desperately to his neck, as if that would somehow stop the choking sensation that distracted him from whatever path he was taking.

The liquid darkness sat in the back of his throat, and like a parasite, had almost completed the invasion of its new host.

A portal that ripped the fabric of space suddenly spread wide in front of him. Rakan TRIED to open his eyes in the realization that something just happened, but they STUNG both from the blackness that dripped at the edges and the new light that poured out. It swallowed him whole, and now, the Lhotlan was TRULY falling.

No. He was crashing. Like an asteroid, Rakan’s body made the ground quake from the giga impact, and a large crater was revealed with himself at the bottom after the dust settled.

A regular person would’ve burned up and DIED before they even reached the ground. But Rakan...the darkness created a cosmic entity out of him. There were dark powers at work that kept his body intact.

Rakan didn’t even have the chance to moan and groan from the fact that his body just took an intense beating in all forms. But if he was thankful for one thing about this whole crazy ass situation - the darkness dislodged from his throat. Quickly he stumbled to his hands and knees, and wretched pure black and liquid corruption onto the barren gravel below.

After what felt like eternity, he heaved in a MASSIVE amount of air and coughed violently. He didn’t really need air since magic was his life source, but he was still thankful for the sweet sensation since he was too used to it. Hooked talons scored mindlessly across the ground as he stared at the black puddle below. Ugh. Gross. He doesn’t want to look at that.

Rakan pushed himself to a sitting position with a pained grunt, and scooted away. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it very far. His energy was wiped.

The Lhotlan gasped and grimaced as he felt another icy pang shoot through him. He held out his trembling arms and he couldn’t say he recognized them as his. They were replaced with dark purple feathers that writhed and dark energy bled from the top of each quill. Scales dotted here and there, and his hands were a mix between a human and hawk.

Opening his arms wider to LOOK in-between, he noticed why he felt so cold. So lifeless. His entire bottom section of his body had been completely succumbed to darkness that reminded him of purple, cold magma. Stars of the galaxy were dotted inside. Well. Fuck.

Riku suddenly appeared from where they hid behind his cape, the greenish owl familiar fluttered worryingly over Rakan. They gave a concerned hoot as they observed the darkness growing upwards into his chest.

“It is what it is.” Rakan weakly held up a taloned finger and allowed his familiar to perch upon it. “Xayah...our friends...the city. They are safe now. I hope”. There wasn’t an ounce of that theatric bravado in his voice. Did he kill Zoe? He had to, but he also couldn’t LOOK back to see his work.

But his next words were caught in his throat when a shadow loomed over their forms. Despite the agony in his body, he jerked to his claws and pivoted around with a serrated feather in his grasp. But, it drooped as the magic dispersed.

He fell to his knees and gawked up at the massive cloud of DARK energy was peering down at him with thousands upon thousands of eyes.

Oh by the first light.

Why now?

He was too tired to deal with this. How was he supposed to go toe to toe with that in this state? There were hundreds of crescent moon shaped mouths, and it grinned GLEEFULLY at their new guest like a Cheshire cat. Its form flowed to every edge at the top of the crater, and it ascended higher and higher to great heights. A massive wall of eyes, and smiles, and chaos. No way in. No way out. He was trapped, and hope was depleting at a record pace. It made the darkness within swell with excitement. It was home.

Rakan QUICKLY glanced to the side out of habit, but the determined pink feathered form he had hoped to see beside him wasn’t there. Fuck, that’s right.

“ VɆⱤɎ ł₦₮ɆⱤɆ₴₮ł₦₲!! ⱠØØ�� ₩Ⱨ₳₮ ⱠØVɆ ĐłĐ ₮Ø ɎØɄ, ₱ØØⱤ ₵ⱧłⱠĐ!” (very interesting!!! Look what love did to you, poor child!)

The voice boomed and echoed so loud, that Rakan grabbed at his ears painfully. A glob of darkness appeared out of nowhere and swallowed Riku whole. Rakan SCREAMED and tried to grab out to save his familiar, but talons only captured empty air.

He GASPED, and stumbled back a few steps. Shit! Shit shit shit! He was growing colder by the moment. Darkness was creeping up faster and faster. It was up to his shoulders now. Suffocating.

His head had exploded into a raging battlefield. The millions of eyes that bore down from ALL corners of the world forcefully begun to make work to influence his thoughts. There was no escape. He was TRAPPED in his head and Talons tore through his hair in order to grip his scalp. Stop! STOP!!

But the voices that echoed did not listen.

ĐØ₦'₮ ₩ØⱤⱤɎ, ł'ⱠⱠ ₮₳₭Ɇ ₲ØØĐ ₵₳ⱤɆ Ø₣ ɎØɄ. ɎØɄ ₩Ø₦'₮ ₴Ʉ₣₣ɆⱤ ₳₦Ɏ₥ØⱤɆ, ₣ØⱤ₲Ɇ₮ ɎØɄⱤ ₱₳₴₮ ₳₦Đ ⱠɆ₮'₴ ₵Ø₦QɄɆⱤ ₮ⱧɆ Ʉ₦łVɆⱤ₴Ɇ ₮Ø₲Ɇ₮ⱧɆⱤ! ( Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you. You won't suffer anymore, forget your past and let's conquer the Universe together! >:) )

Memories of Xayah collided into his thoughts, and every impact felt like a feather dagger into his heart. Because when she was corrupted, even Rakan can admit she wasn’t the most pleasant at times. So caught in her anger, she would take it out on him if he had done something wrong. And that had added up through the years.

But He tried to argue. He tried to fight. She was corrupted, she needed help! But a tendril of shadows launched out from the wall and SPEARED his own heart to deliver the worst lies of all.

Ahri and Sarah didn’t care about him. Xayah didn’t love him because had already REPLACED him with a new team of her own. She followed in the exact footsteps of the Vulpine and the gun slinger. He was of no use anymore, and his sacrifice meant nothing to anyone.

It just got him out of the way.

As his heart and the last of his hope collapsed under the heavy weight, the darkness surged up his entire form completely.

Finally. silence.

He LOST the fight.

Now, a being made of darkness and stars stood there. Now at home in the chaos dimension he had, in actuality, fell into. Eyes burned with a purple, cold light. A wicked GRIN glimmered across his features.

With a sweeping motion of his taloned fingers, the ground below him started to fissure, a crooked crack forming a messy circle around him. It FLOATED upwards with him standing tall upon it with a new energy that surged inside him.

And as it towered high above the crater that he had created earlier, debris of the world, both large and small, started to CHURN around him with his newfound power.

It almost mimicked the rings of a planet, but MORE chaotic. More beautiful. More...FUN! Even the floating lands nearby twisted, and folded and DISTORTED here and there like origami paper.

Oh man. This felt SO good.

He formed his talon like hand into a fist and raised it up to his WEIRD, giant shadow companion.

“Heh! You are right!” His THEATRIC bravado made its triumphant return.

“It’s just me, myself, and I! And I guess you of course. ” He boomed, BUT was interrupted by a corrupted owl familiar. They appeared out of nowhere and pulled at his bang.

They then PERCHED upon his shoulder with a huff, and glanced away in a sassy manner. Don’t forget me, it seemed to say.

“And FINE. You too, Riku!” He yanked out a mirror out of his pocket and readjusted his bang. “The Dark Prince needs his right hand evil owl buddy!” He grinned DEVILISHY at his reflection.

“But now...Let the show begin.”

#&&. Rakan ( V: The Dark Prince )#&&. Rakan ( Drabble )#&&. Anonymous Messages #tw vomit #tw death mention #tw eyes #tw ommetaphobia #cw long post #&& h a h a tHIS HURTS #&& I WAS SO INSPIRED BUT BOY THIS HURTS

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prorevenge · 6 years

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Owner screws me over, screws up(s) his business.

To start, I won’t be saying the name of the shipping company franchise I worked for, suffice to say the title is very telling. This is a rather long story, so buckle in. You can skip the backstory and look for the revenge near the bottom. TL:DR at the end.

The Backstory

About five or six years ago I was relatively new to the workforce, having worked one minimum wage job at Mickey D’s. I had been there almost two years, but had little experience elsewhere. Well this one lady always came through early every morning to order a large Diet Coke, and would take a few minutes to talk to me. I mentioned to her that I was displeased with my bosses and the working conditions, and she invited me to come apply for a job at Not FedEx because they were always running low on employees! That should have been my first red flag.

The second red flag went completely over my head, because at this point I was 17 with no previous job experience. When I walked in for an interview, the boss (who I will call Jeph, because it sounds close enough to his name to allow him to remain anonymous) told me it would take five minutes. I wasn’t asked about my relevant experience, my goals within the company, or even told what position I was applying for. I assumed all interviews were different and went along with it, and started the next week with training. Everything went well for the first month. I basically just packed boxes, took down customer information, and sorted mail into the mailboxes we managed. The real trouble started after I was given my one month performance review.

I was deemed to be a valuable asset to Jeph’s franchise, and rightfully so. At 17 I was able to lift more and work better than the 20 and 30 something employees, and due to the work ethic my parents drilled into me I was never slacking off while at work. I was then informed that I would be swapping between Jeph’s two franchises, roughly 30 miles apart. (For context, the franchise I APPLIED TO WORK AT was roughly a mile from my house, so I could walk if I couldn’t get a ride.) Every other day I had to drive out to the location and somehow justify this with my slightly above minimum wage job. ($7.50 for those not in Texas.)

Overall my boss was a massive douche. His physical appearance could best be described as “troll like” with a shirt almost bursting, the top always undone to showcase his aging chest hair, and a face not unlike that of A&F owner Mike Jeffries. He openly cheated on his wife, bragging to coworkers about it constantly. He charged people one dollar for any amount of extra tape they needed on their package, despite the fact that we got roughly two rolls for that price in bulk. He had a special price calculator installed on the computers that charged people roughly 10% more than the package would be elsewhere. He would push employees (who he insisted didn’t work in customer service but sales) to never offer anything less than three day shipping even though we offered standard 7+ days and even cheaper options. I watched him actively lie to customers, claiming it was the price they had to pay blah blah blah, and almost yell at them to go to another store if they didn’t like it. But I digress.

Now here was the first dickish thing that my boss did to me specifically. Until this point, I was only working around 20 hours. After I graduated to working at both stores, Jeph had me sign a brand new W-2 for his second store, which was under a different company. (He owned both, naming one Blue (name for a .44 caliber bullet) and Blue (proper name for visible light)). Again, I had very little idea that this wrong because I had never had to deal with this before. He proceed to add another 20 or so hours to my schedule, bringing me up to 40 hours or more. But since I worked for two separate companies I never earned a dime of overtime or benefits of any kind.

At this point, I started accruing more and more duties, as my boss and coworkers started to trust me more and more. Buy my fourth month of employment (out of a total of eight) I was performing managerial duties such as: opening the store, counting the registers, closing the store, ordering product such as boxes and tape, and preparing shipments for transport. The work alone justified a raise, not to mention the hours I was being asked to work. However when I floated this idea by my boss, he very rudely insisted that since he had a manager for each store already, I was just doing my job and couldn’t earn a cent more.

Then came the second dickish move. We had a large company contract some drop off stuff with us, a telecom company we will say rhymes with Hey Tea and Tea. Customers would bring in their old cable boxes, wires, remotes and the like, and we would scan them and ship them back to Hey Tea and Tea, the company THAT LEGALLY OWNED ALL OF THIS HARDWARE. The customers would not pay us a nickel, but the telecom company would pay almost double what it actually cost to ship the package. There is no way Jeph could look that gift horse in the mouth and decide he was still owed the stable and all the horse’s tack as well, right? Surprise, surprise, Jeph had to take it one step further. ANY and ALL parts/cables/WiFi adapters/USB drives the customer returned to us that didn’t have a scan tag on them, Jeph would pull aside and either strip for copper or sell on eBay. And he would force us, the employees to package his eBay sales or copper wiring into boxes and ship them for him. He even popped batteries out of remotes and recycled them somewhere to get a tax credit. None of his employees ever saw a penny of this money (not that I would have accepted it). We estimated he raked in roughly three to four thousand a month just from stealing alone. For those of you bad at math, that is the price of TWO brand new 2018 Honda Civics.

The Revenge

The third (and fourth) final dick moves are what solidified my hatred for this boss, and my desire to strike back. They both came in the same week, roughly the same time, and both viscerally repulsive. My favorite coworker had recently gotten pregnant, and although the father got the hell out of dodge when he found out, she was doing very well for herself. She and I frequently closed together, and she promised she would bring the baby to sit in the back for the dull hours we had to kill from 6-10. We also had an annual store review from corporate that week, so our boss called a late night meeting after we closed one day. Our boss started out by saying that he was proud of our pregnant coworker for working so hard even with her “disability.” (Yes, even his sense of humor was slimy.) Then, in front of all fifteen employees, HE FIRED HER. He told her that because the Christmas season was coming up, and she would only slow down the store being pregnant and all, he had to let her go.

After she left, hatred seething in her eyes, he turned back to the fourteen of us who were left stunned, and continued on like nothing had happened. He proceeded to tell each of us our jobs for this weekend, leaving mine for last. My job, because I used to drive a decently sized mini van, was to ferry the corporate required supplies, cash for the safe, and OUR ONE WORKING FIRE EXTINGUISHER between the two stores while he kept corporate distracted between visits.

At this point I had taken enough shit from this guy, and I formulated my plan. I started by calling the Hey Tea and Tea fraud department, and telling them everything I knew. I took pictures and emailed them directly to the rep I was talking to, who seemed a little too excited about fraud being committed. I then scheduled a visit from a Hey Tea and Tea rep at the same time corporate was supposed to show up. My next step was to call Not FedEx and explain exactly what I just told y’all, with a few extra things thrown in that I couldn’t share for privacy reasons. They promised to send a rep as well, to the same store, at the same time.

The final step was put into action that Saturday. I dutifully loaded up my van with the supplies, cash (upwards of $4000 if I remember correctly), and fire extinguisher, and headed out. Except I did the exact OPPOSITE of what Jeph wanted. I took the crap to the first store he owned, which was the second one to receive a visit. After he texted the team saying they were moving on, I packed up all the shit and drove it to the other store they just left. Now I am unsure exactly what happened at the other store, but from some coworkers I pieced together that the Not FedEx rep showed up right after I left, but didn’t stay long, and the Hey Tea and Tea rep showed up just before Jeph had arrived and had time to hide his ill gotten gains in his office. The one coworker who was close enough to the office during the corporate meeting said there was lots of angry words being thrown and threats being made towards Jeph and his position as a franchisee. He also lost his franchises the ability to ship for Hey Tea and Tea, at least for a period of time.

Regardless, the very next day I was off because I was (and as cliché as this sounds I swear to God it’s true) helping my grandfather who just got out of the hospital. I receive a call from Jeph, saying I needed to come in right away, and work a double shift as well as close the store. I told him I couldn’t do that, and I was taking a personal day. He fired me right then and there, citing my usage of the work computer to run a photoshop business during work hours. (I’m assuming he was referring to the graphic design work I did FOR HIM, FOR FREE, which he asked me to learn how to do.)

The sad epilogue to this whole story is that he is currently still in business, and still running the same scams he was before. He WAS however fined for not having proper supplies in his stores, as well as forced to use corporate’s package rates rather than his own. So in some small way my revenge worked. He currently has a two star review on Yelp for both of his his businesses, and I hope to have a party outside his store one day when it goes belly up.

TL:DR: Boss is a total douche bag to me and customers, steals from a contract company, fires a pregnant woman for “slowing down the store” then gets his ass reamed by corporate and loses the major contract.

(source) (story by Chewbacca_Q_Wookie)

#prorevenge #by Chewbacca_Q_Wookie #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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kelinswriter · 7 years

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Less Than Perfect

Chapter One: Kiss the Girl

Somewhere between Maggie’s right, we should kiss the girls we want to kiss and Wait, you want to kiss me? and Holy fuck, Maggie Sawyer is kissing me, Alex’s entire world changed. Changed, expanded, rearranged itself into a life before Maggie and a life after. All with one gob-smacking, knee-melting kiss.

And another. And then another.

They ended up on the couch somehow, migrating there by degrees until Alex was laying with her head propped against its arm, pillow tucked beneath her, with Maggie on top, her slender, jeans-clad legs intertwined with Alex’s while one thigh pressed deliciously close against Alex’s center. Every time Maggie shifted, Alex felt it through the thin cotton of her pajama pants, a deep, electric sensation that moved outward, spreading throughout her body until even her skin seemed on fire. But that was just one among the many extraordinary things that seemed to be happening in this strange, delirious symphony of pleasure. Because Maggie’s groin was pressed against Alex’s hipbone and Maggie’s breasts were sliding gently against Alex’s chest and Maggie’s lips were everywhere, coaxing her mouth open so she could explore inside, nibbling at her earlobes, dropping teardrop kisses against Alex’s neck and chest. And that didn’t even count the hands that framed Alex’s face, touched her skin, caressed her breasts through her shirt.

I finally get why teenagers can’t stop doing this.

Alex slid her hands down the back of Maggie’s shirt — her jacket had been discarded somewhere in the direction of the fireplace, and Alex truly hoped it hadn’t been singed — and teased over the top line of Maggie’s bra, catching at it and pulling gently in a way that made Maggie gasp and slide against her. Feeling brave, she kept her hands moving downward, tracing the curve of Maggie’s spine, the small of her back. Her index finger mapped the top edge of Maggie’s jeans, the knuckle dragging over the hard curve of Maggie’s belt while her fingertip grazed the smooth, bare skin that lingered just within reach. But Alex wasn’t quite adventurous enough for that yet, so she kept her hands on the outside, feeling the outline of a back pocket, the round shape of a quarter and two nickels tucked inside on the left and the slim bulge of a wallet on the right, and then a slow, rounding curve, a seam, a —

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Maggie let out a laugh and nipped Alex’s lower lip with her teeth. “Go on and grab hold. I don’t mind.”

“You’re sure?” Alex asked, wanting to so much. But a sudden terror was gripping her, that they were moving too fast, that her inexperience would get in the way of Maggie’s pleasure, that she would suddenly revert to the nervous, fumbling thirteen year old that she knew was hiding beneath her twenty-nine year old skin. Sixteen years that I could have spent figuring it out, and now it’s like I’m starting from scratch.

“Hey,” Maggie said, pressing her hand against Alex’s cheek, and Alex knew that Maggie must have seen the fear that was rushing in on her from all sides. “Alex, it’s okay to touch me. In fact, it’s better than okay.” She smiled, those brown eyes sparkling, and Alex felt like the sun was bathing its light across her face. “I don’t want you to be afraid of anything, okay? Just do what feels right.”

“But what if it’s something you don’t like, or…” Alex frowned, her terror only increasing at the thought of so much freedom. “I just…I’m out of practice in general, to be honest.”

“How long’s it been?” Maggie asked, and Alex felt a blush rise to her face. But Maggie just looked at her calmly, as if the answer to the question didn’t matter so much as the fact that Alex felt safe to answer it. And so Alex took a deep breath, swallowed, and told her.

“About three years, probably? I can’t exactly remember. But I do know it wasn’t like this.” She dropped her eyes, not wanting to see the look on Maggie’s face when she said, all in a rush, “It was in a bathroom stall in a club, and I was drunk, and I didn’t even know his name.”

She looked up then, fearing that she would see disappointment in Maggie’s eyes. Instead, she found understanding and compassion — wisdom, even. “Sometimes it gets bad like that,” Maggie said, her voice quiet, as if Alex’s confession had struck a familiar chord. “Doing things that aren’t necessarily safe, things that maybe aren’t you, as a way of trying to figure it out.”

Her words hit Alex like a smack in the face — both because of what Maggie had said, and because it made sense, suddenly, giving her a reason for what she’d done beyond I got really fucked up and put myself at risk. She’d always been haunted by how ugly it could have gotten had any one of her half-dozen drunken, club-fueled hookups been in the mood to inflict some pain or forgo a condom — by how she had allowed herself to be vulnerable in ways that could have left her sick or hurt or even dead.

All because I was afraid to look at who I really was.

“There was a time — a really bad time after we thought my dad had died — where I did things like that because I wanted to feel,” Alex said, and saw Maggie nod, as if she too knew what it was to inflict agony on herself just to keep another pain from hurting. “But I never felt anything, not really, and then something happened that forced me to change, and after that, it just wasn’t…” She trailed off. “Important, I guess.”

Maggie nodded again. She’d been caressing the sides of Alex’s face this whole time, Alex realized; coaxing her on, encouraging her to get the words out, to be honest about a time that she hadn’t really been honest with anyone about — not even Kara, for Kara would have taken it on herself, would have tried to fix it with her smile and her love. Only back then, Alex hadn’t wanted to be fixed.

But the acceptance in Maggie’s gaze was fixing it now, changing it from something dark and shameful to just a piece of Alex’s experience, a journey she had to travel to get to this place, to her understanding of herself, to being in Maggie’s arms. It felt good — felt right somehow, as if a broken piece had finally healed.

And so she lifted a hand to Maggie’s cheek, softly saying, “I’ve been tested, in case you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t worried.” Maggie brushed the hair back from Alex’s face, her fingertip grazing Alex’s ear in ways that made her squirm. “I have too. After I broke up with my last girlfriend a while back.”

“You had concerns?” Alex asked, lifting one hand to rub slow circles against Maggie’s back.

Maggie shook her head. “I just…wanted to be ready, maybe?” She smiled so broadly that her dimples seemed to leap out of her face, making Alex want to kiss her senseless. “I guess you’ve been under my skin for a while now, Danvers.”

“Mine too.” Alex felt Maggie shift against her, her left leg stretching out enough to put pressure in just the right place, and felt a shudder roll through her. “God, Sawyer.”

“Sorry,” Maggie said, but she didn’t look sorry at all; looked, in fact, like she’d done it on purpose. “So, are you ever going to put your hands where I’m dying for you to put them, or do I have to keep doing that until you give in?”

“Well…” Alex snickered, and then Maggie stretched against her again, and Alex’s hands slid down to grab at the underside of Maggie’s ass, not just because Maggie wanted her to, but because she needed to pull her closer, needed the pressure of their bodies against each other. Maggie pushed up on her elbows and just looked down at Alex, her dark eyes reflecting the firelight until it seemed they were ablaze.

“We fit,” she said, and Alex nodded, her throat so tight she could hardly breathe. The urge to move was intense, almost primal; but so was the desire to stay still, to remain frozen on the cusp of the precipice until time itself ended.

And then Alex’s stomach growled. Loudly.

Maggie’s eyes crinkled and she burst out laughing, kissing Alex when she tried to bury her face in Maggie’s shoulder. She rubbed the back of Alex’s head, murmuring, “Guess it’s a good thing I brought over that pizza, huh?”

“Next time you want to kiss me, you don’t have to come bearing gifts,” Alex said, drawing Maggie down until she rested in the crook of Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t want to move from here, like, ever. But I’m also starving.”

“Me too.” Maggie twisted back onto her stomach and slid her hands up to frame the sides of Alex’s face, one side of her mouth tilting sideways. “So at the risk of riling you up and bolting, I think we should hold off on...” She tilted a shoulder in the direction of Alex’s bed. “If you’re okay with that.”

“How long?” Alex asked, anxiety flaring at the thought. “Because life is short, and I’ve got a lot of time to make up for when it comes to kissing the girl I want to kiss.”

“I am very much looking forward to helping you with that,” Maggie said with a grin. “But this is new for you, and there are things that should be savored. And besides, I think we should go out on a proper date before I —“ She broke off, her eyes flashing with something that Alex could only interpret as pure, unadulterated desire.

“Before you what?” Alex asked, and watched a slow, lazy smile spread across Maggie’s face. “Come on, don’t leave me in suspense.”

Maggie chuckled. “Okay, Danvers, you asked for it.”

And then she pressed her mouth to Alex’s ear and described, in very specific detail, just what exactly she was planning to do before said proper date was over.

Alex slid her hands up to Maggie’s back, holding her in place for a moment while she considered those words. She drew breath to speak, drew it again, and finally said, “So when is this date taking place?”

Maggie let out a cackle and kissed the underside of Alex’s ear. “I don’t know. How’s Saturday sound? We can make a day of it.”

“That’s five days.” Alex nodded, trying to stay very still for fear she’d spontaneously combust if she moved against Maggie even a little. “I could do that. I mean, short of an alien invasion or Cadmus killing us all, what could possibly go wrong?”

She would soon regret asking that question.

----------------

The week dragged by. The days were busy enough — the DEO was tracking shipments tied to Cadmus, and Alex spent as much time out on raids as she did in her lab — but the nights were tough, especially when Maggie had to work late and she didn’t. She got a brief reprieve on Thursday — Maggie was able to stop by for a beer after work, though based on the way Maggie was looking at her and how fast both their shirts ended up draped over the back of the couch, Alex was fairly certain a beer wasn’t what had really been on Maggie’s mind. Alex wasn’t complaining — her skin on Maggie’s, Maggie’s on hers, was intensely erotic, and all she wanted to do was explore the sensation. Yet she resolved to abide by this unwritten rule they had set for themselves; to take it slow, or at least as slow as they could manage. Two months of bickering and smoldering glances and side eye had left them both on edge, and as much as Alex was enjoying this gradual build up of sexual tension, a part of her just wanted to get on with it. So she would never quite know how she managed to lift her head, how she stopped herself from letting out a mournful cry, when Maggie said, “I should probably go.”

Of course, Maggie had decided to say this while she was tracing her lips across Alex’s upper abdominals. She had worked her way down there from her starting spot just beneath Alex’s right ear, combing over every inch of skin with the methodical detail of a forensic team sifting for trace evidence. There had been pauses, however — some of short duration, some of extensive length — for Alex to do some exploring of her own. So far she knew that Maggie loved being kissed at the base of her throat, that she giggled when Alex tickled between her shoulder blades, and that rubbing a thumb over her nipple in slow circles, either on top of or beneath her bra, would cause her to make a low noise and go very still.

But right now Maggie’s tongue was taking point, and she was using it, with aching slowness, to trace the hard seam between Alex’s ribs. Alex tensed, feeling sudden shocks run through her body, and let out a low groan. “I’m going to start calling you Livewire 2.0.”

“That crazy bitch has nothing on me,” Maggie said, her laugh reverberating through Alex’s body. She slid up to rest her head on Alex’s shoulder, her fingertips tracing across the fine hairs that covered Alex’s arm. “You know I don’t want to go, right?”

Alex turned her head to look down at Maggie, seeing those eyes, so full of light and warmth, turned up to look at her. She nodded and slid her hand down to rest against the small of Maggie’s back, the skin smooth under her palm. “I do. But I also know that you have to work early, so you probably should.”

“Yeah.” Maggie leaned in to kiss Alex’s shoulder. Her hair skimmed across Alex’s bare skin like fine cobwebs, each one leaving a trail of sensation in its wake. “You okay with getting started around ten on Saturday?”

“That works.” Alex sucked in a deep breath, wondering how she would survive until then without seeing Maggie, without having this small, soft, warm, impossibly beautiful body against her own. Four days of this, and she was already addicted. She pressed a kiss just above Maggie’s temple, softly asking, “So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Maggie said, turning to look at Alex with a decidedly mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Just make sure your bike is gassed up and ready to make some miles.”

“Got it.” Alex traced hand over Maggie’s face, wanting to memorize each line and curve of the straight nose, high cheekbones, and lush, impossibly sensual lips. She leaned in and kissed her slowly, murmuring, “If you don’t move soon, I’m going to toss your shirt into the fire so you have to stay.”

“I’d be annoyed,” Maggie said, punctuating every word with a light, teasing kiss. “I really like that shirt.”

Alex grinned down at her, gently pinching her hip. “Like you don’t have at least a half dozen other long-sleeved gray shirts in your closet.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Maggie rolled on top of her, kissed her slow, and then braced her hands against the arm of the couch and pushed onto her knees, her bra straining to keep her breasts in check. Alex caught a tantalizing glimpse of cleavage, a quick flash of darker skin as one nipple was revealed, and then Maggie was sitting back on her heels, wincing, her left hand cupped over the stitches on the right side of her chest. “Dammit.”

Alex scrambled to free herself from Maggie’s weight and sat up, her doctor’s instincts on full alert. “Did you tear them?”

“No, it’s good, it’s just sore,” Maggie said, though she looked a little ragged around the edges, as if sore was a euphemism for it hurts like a fucking bastard. She pushed her right hand against the back of the couch, her face tightening as she braced herself to step onto the floor, and Alex caught at her arm, pulling her back down and urging her to sit. Maggie turned her head, frowning. “Alex....”

“Maggie…” Alex said, in exactly the same tone.

Maggie stared daggers at her, and Alex just shrugged and gave them right back until, with a soft laugh, Maggie relented. She turned and tucked one leg beneath her, sliding her bra strap down so she could present the wound that ran from her collarbone to the edge of her side ribs for inspection.

Alex shifted onto her knees and leaned in, her fingertips tracing the unblemished skin around the margins. The wound looked clean, with little sign of redness, and the stitches showed no sign of tearing. She lifted her head to look back at Maggie, feeling heat rush to her cheeks when she realized that Maggie had apparently been watching her the whole time with calm, steady eyes.

“It’s healing nicely, though you should keep a bandage over it so it doesn’t get irritated by your bra strap.” Alex leaned back on her heels, one hand still resting on Maggie’s shoulder. “You might also want to lay off the making out for a bit.”

“I would, but this girl I’m dating would be awfully upset,” Maggie said, her dimples appearing as she gave a sideways half-smile.

Alex felt her face light up at the declaration. I’m dating Maggie Sawyer. Maggie Sawyer is dating me. Still, she tried to hold it together, to not act like a giddy teenager at the words, much as she wanted to. Instead, she retrieved Maggie’s shirt from the back of the couch, holding it open and helping her put her right arm through the sleeve with a minimum of jostling.

“Button-up shirts might be a good idea for a few days,” Alex suggested, her whole body tingling at the feel of drawing that knit cotton across Maggie’s ribs.

“I’ll see if I can find one that doesn’t need ironing.” Maggie pulled Alex’s dark blue Henley off the back of the couch and helped her slide it over her head. She smoothed Alex’s hair, brushing the tangle back from her face, and smiled, her thumbs tracing Alex’s cheeks. Then she pulled her in close, her kiss tender and sweet. “Thanks for making out with me.”

“Anytime.” Alex ran a hand through Maggie’s hair, her body already longing for the sensation of it drifting across her shoulders and stomach again. She wondered what it would feel like against her thighs and found herself blushing.

Maggie smiled as if she knew what Alex was thinking. “Saturday, Danvers,” she said. “That’s not so long to wait, right?”

Alex nodded and kissed Maggie again, the sort of slow, sensual kiss that she’d been waiting to give someone her entire life. And this time when she pulled away, she noticed that Maggie’s cheeks were a little red too.

#sanvers #Less Than Perfect AO3

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topicprinter · 5 years

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Why Gusto is WAY better than Paychex: My Personal Experience as a Medical ProfessionalHello everyone, I have been wanting to do this post for a long time now, but life is busy and I never got around to it. I’ve always believed that people more often will describe a bad experience over a good one, which can sometimes bias online reviews. This post covers the good and bad I have had using payroll companies. The story is complex and not easy to follow, but I will try my best.TLDR: Gusto is a simple, intuitive payroll solution for small companies and professionals looking to pay themselves. Paychex is an awful, bloated company that makes tons of human errors, has an opaque billing system, and is more expensive and impossible to quit. Use Gusto for your payroll needs and you can get $100 Amazon gift card and your first month free to see if you like it using the signup link below:Sign up with Gusto Get 100$ Amazon gift card and 1 month trial periodA little background:I am a medical professional and it so happens that my employer classifies me as an independent contractor so they can avoid giving me benefits or pay payroll tax to the government. This means that in order to do my job and set myself up to receive benefits like any ordinary employee, I need to have my own company and have that company pay me. I started an S-corporation and I am the only employee of that corporation, functioning as CEO, President, janitor, etc, etc.I didn’t know much about what to do, so my accountant recommended Paychex. He claimed to have a working relationship with them and vouched for them. Looking back, he probably received a commission for every client he referred. But right off the bat, the experience with Paychex was a nightmare and this is what happened:The BeginningFirst off Paychex wanted to charge a $200 “set-up” fee. After I complained that other operators like Gusto don’t do this excessive setup fee, they graciously “waived it” as if they did me a favor. When it came time to set up my account, someone called my cellphone and asked for my information to fill out the starting paperwork. I thought this was annoying and prone to error because I had to repeat myself several times on the phone to get the numbers correct and it took forever with bad cell reception.They sent me a copy of the paperwork to review, and it was a super unprofessional looking PDF that was crooked and hard to read because it was a bad scan of a copy of a copy. Definitely not something you’d expect from a large national corporation charging 60+ bucks a months.Not surprisingly, something DID go wrong and my PHONE NUMBER was put as my BANK ACCOUNT number. I caught the error and had to contact them to fix it. They also spelled my business address wrong. Then, when setting up my California Employer Profile, they spelled my address wrong again despite my correction, propagating it onto official time sensitive mailings from the state. See email proof below.Email acknowledging errorThe Paychex representative apologizes and sends me a screenshot of the CA website saying “REVIEW and SUBMIT” with the address STILL WRONG, shockingly. When I email her to tell her about this, she LIES, fixes it secretly and shows me a screenshot and saying they had it correct from the beginning. She obviously thinks I’m a moron because her first screenshot says REVIEW AND SUBMIT. See proof below:Still wrong after submittingPaychex employee covering up and lying to meAfter all this nonsense, I complain to the manager they finally agree to give me my first month free as a courtesy. A month passes.The nightmare that followed has to do with a systematic nickel and diming tactic they use to extract money from you. Firstly, the online app is a complete mess and convoluted, forcing you to be reliant on their human representatives. I’m sorry I don’t have a screenshot of this, but you’ll have to take my word for it because I don’t have access anymore because I quit. They have a hodgepodge of confusing apps mixed together with no unifying login. To do payroll, a human representative ends up calling you every month to go over your payroll. Once I had a really busy day and they called and I couldn’t pick up the phone. We somehow didn’t connect over the following week and they had the AUDACITY to charge me a late fee of $49. This brings us to the subject of fees:In addition to the base rate, Paychex has a ton of fees for things that Gusto provides for free (see photo)Paychex Crazy extra feesThey charge $81.71 just to make you a W2 for end of year taxes! Imagine that in the 21st century, where computers automate every calculation. Insane. I have TWO employees. ME and my bro. They charge $3.50 just to add a new employee. Can you say nickel and diming? And what’s up with all the decimal points and crazy pricing?What the hell is a MANUAL PROCESSING FEE of $4.95? They don’t even send me invoices in the mail. It’s PAPERLESS, so what’s manual about it? Is this the fee that they charge me when someone idiot representative calls me every month? Actually it’s not, that stupid/error prone service is free surprisingly. The “manual processing fee” is a fee they charge if you want to approve every payroll and don’t give them permission to automatically deduct everything from your bank account. Can you imagine the nightmare if I allowed them to take whatever they want? See the fees above and understand why you can never trust them to bill you fairly. They will charge you $20 just to EMAIL you your quarterly reports as DELIVERY/HANDLING. This is a completely automated software process and they want to make it look like they’re actually preparing documents for you BY HAND so they can charge you.Paychex is a company that thrives on complexity and your fear of it. They want to take everything out themselves and keep everything obscure so you’re afraid to take control of your own payroll. They want you to think it’s the cost of doing business. They want you to think it’s hard. They want you to think that your time is better spent running your business. That may be true, but you can be in control and not waste time too. It’s possible, just not with Paychex as you will see.I just cant retype all the billing errors and back and forth, it’s too painful and this post is getting long. But I will leave a few example emails detailing their systemic billing issues and pain they put me through. They refunded most of the fees ultimately, but at great cost to my time and mental sanity. I was able to quit, but months later they send me a HANDWRITTEN envelope with a bill in it. I complained about it and they apologized. See here:Still sending me bills after I quitPaychex apologizing for their crazy disorganized billingEventually after much complaining I was able to quit around 3/2018. But, they kept sending me bills in my email because their system refuses to remove me from their client list, despite me telling them to remove me over 5 times. I was still receiving bills up to 11/2018. See proof below as well as their apology. Would you trust a company that cant even accomplish a simple thing like that?Trying to quit Attempt #1, still sending me billsTrying to quit Attempt #2, still sending me billsTrying to quit Attempt #3, still sending me billsThe good (Moving to Gusto):When I started Gusto it was a godsend. I didn’t deal with anyone. You put in a few parameters like your state’s SUI and ETT rates etc, and you don’t talk to anyone. You can easily google the correct information and the CA state also sends this info to you. Payroll isn’t that hard. They have email responders that respond within 24 hours. I haven’t tried calling, everything was straightforward so I didn’t need to. Many basic functions like paid time off etc are built in and free. Here’s an example of Gusto’s billing plan screen. Compare it to paychex’s crazy invoice above:Gusto's simple billingAnd here is gusto’s clean interface.Gusto - Nice organized payrollGusto - Nice interfaceNeed I say more? Go with Gusto, you wont regret it.

#/r/smallbusiness #reddit

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waltercostellone · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

Officially, my award certificate says I was on a team that won a 2014 Emmy for Interactive Media, Social TV Experience. The category “Social TV Experience” sounds far classier than my true contribution to the project.

The award-winning Live From Space site served as a second-screen experience for a National Geographic Channel show of the same name. The show Live From Space covered the wonders of the International Space Station. The website displayed the globe as seen by astronauts, along with entertaining social data about each country crossed by the Space Station’s trajectory. One of those data points was an Instagram feed showcasing images of local cuisine.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

You might think that adding this feed was a relatively simple task. Include a specific channel, or feed in images tagged with the food and the country in which the images were taken, connect to an API, and boom: a stream of images from food bloggers in South Africa, Taiwan, Mexico, what have you. One exec was so impressed that he called this feature “automagical.”

What he described as “automagical” was actually me sitting in front of a computer screen, scanning Instagram, hunting for the most appetizing images, avoiding the unappetizing ones, and pasting my choices into a spreadsheet for import by a developer. I wouldn’t call it automated, and I wouldn’t call it magical. As the team’s content manager, I performed this task because the Instagram API wasn’t playing nice with the developers, but we had to get that information into the site by the deadline somehow.

An additional, and perhaps worse, problem was that if you found a feed of images taken in certain countries and tagged #food, you might get pictures of sausage. But we’re talking about the kinds of sausages usually discussed in locker rooms or on school buses full of junior high boys. As you can imagine, you cannot add Instagram photos tagged #food to a family-friendly site without a little effort, either in terms of getting around an API or filtering out the naughty bits.

The mythical “automagical” tool

You might think I’m knocking the website, but I’m not. Many creative, brilliant people worked ridiculous hours to create a gorgeous experience for which they rightly earned an award, and the images of local cuisine made up only a small slice of the site’s data.

Yet I feel conflicted about my own involvement with Live From Space because most of the site’s users still have no idea how the sausage of apps and websites gets made. In fact, these people may never know because the site is no longer live.

Or they may not care. Few people are aware of the rote work that goes into moving or importing data from one website to another, which causes problems if they don’t understand how long the process takes to make content happen. Unless you’re working with a pristine data source, there often is no “content hose” or “automagical” tool that cleans up data and moves it from one app or content management system to another. Unfortunately, the assumption that a “content hose” exists can lead to miscommunication, frustration, and delays when it is time to produce the work.

Oftentimes, a person will need to go in, copy content, and paste that code into the new app or CMS. They must repeat this task until the app or site is ready for launch. This type of work usually spurs revolt within the workplace, and I can’t say I blame people for being upset. Unless you know some tips, tricks, and shortcuts, as I do, you have a long stretch of tedious, mind-numbing work ahead of you.

Did someone say shortcuts?

Yes, you do have shortcuts when it comes to pulling content into a website. Those shortcuts happen earlier in the site-building process than you may think, and they rely on making sure your entire team is involved in the content process.

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

In the case of the National Geographic Channel website, the team knew it needed the map data and the coordinates, but did it really need the Instagram feed with the food data? And, when the creative team decided it needed the food data, did anyone ask questions about how the food data would be drawn into the site?

This involves building tactical questions into the creative workflow. When someone is on a creative roll, the last thing I want to do is slow them down by asking overly tactical questions. But all brainstorming sessions should include a team member who is taking notes as the ideas fly so they can ask the crucial questions later:

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

These questions are nothing new to a content strategist, but the questions must be asked in the earliest stages of the project. Think about it: if your team is in love with an idea, and the client falls in love with it, too, then you will have a harder time changing course if you can’t create the content that makes the site run.

Site updates and migrations are a little bit different in that most of the content exists, but you’d be surprised by how few team members know their content. Right now, I am working for a company that helps universities revamp their considerably large websites, and the first thing we do when making the sausage is halve the recipe.

First, we use Screaming Frog to generate a content inventory, which we spot-check for any unusual features that might need to be incorporated into the new site. Then we pass the inventory to the client, asking them to go through the inventory and archive duplicate or old content. Once they archive the old content, they can focus on what they intend to revise or keep as is.

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

During the first few weeks of any project, I check in with the client about how they are doing with their content archive. If they aren’t touching the content early, we schedule a follow-up meeting and essentially haunt them until they make tough decisions.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Your content strategist and your developer need to be on speaking terms. “Content strategist” isn’t a fancy name for a writer or an editor. A good content strategist knows how to work with developers. For one site migration involving a community college, I used Screaming Frog to scrape the content from the original site. Then I passed the resulting .csv document back and forth to the developer, fine-tuning the alignment of fields each time so it would be easier for us to import the material into GatherContent, an editorial tool for digital projects.

Speaking of GatherContent ... set up a proper content workflow. GatherContent allows you to assign specific tasks to team members so you can divide work. Even better, GatherContent’s editorial tool allows each page to pass through specific points in the editorial process, including drafting, choosing pictures, adding tags, and uploading to the CMS.

Train the team on how to transform the current content. In my current workplace, not only do we train the client on how to use the CMS, but we also provide Content Guidelines, an overview of the basic building blocks that make up a web page. I’ve shown clients how to create fields for page metadata, images, image alt text, and downloads—and we do this early so the client doesn’t wait until the last minute to dive into details.

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

Actually make the sausage. Clever uses of tools and advance training can only go so far. At some point you will need to make sure that what is in the CMS lines up with what you intended. You may need to take your content source, remove any odd characters, shift content from one field to another, and make the content safe for work—just like removing dick pics.

Make sure everyone on your team scrapes, scrubs, and uploads content at least once. Distributing the work ensures that your team members think twice before recommending content that doesn’t exist or content that needs a serious cleanup. That means each team member should sit down and copy content directly into the CMS or scrub the content that is there. An hour or two is enough to transform perspectives.

Push back if a team member shirks his or her content duty. Occasionally, you will encounter people who believe their roles protect them from content. I’ve heard people ask, “Can’t we get an intern to do that?” or “Can’t we do that through Mechanical Turk?” Sometimes, these people mean well and are thinking of efficiency, but other times, their willingness to brush content off as an intern task or as a task worth a nickel or two should be alarming. It’s demeaning to those who do the work for starters, but it also shows that they are cavalier about content. Asking someone to pitch in for content creation or migration is a litmus test. If they don’t seem to take content seriously, you have to ask: just how committed are these people to serving up a quality digital experience? Do you even want them on your team in the future? By the way, I’ve seen VPs and sales team members entering content in a website, and every last one of them told me that the experience was eye-opening.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

None of these shortcuts and process tips are possible without some kind of hidden content work. Content is often discussed in terms of which gender does what kind of work and how they are recognized for it. This worthwhile subject is covered in depth by many authors, especially in the context of social media, but I’d like to step back and think about why this work is hidden and how we can avoid delays, employee revolts, and overall tedium in the future.

Whether you’re scraping, scrubbing, copying, or pasting, the connecting thread for all hidden content work is that nearly no one thinks of it until the last minute. In general, project team members can do a better job of thinking about how content needs to be manipulated to fit a design or a data model. Then they should prepare their team and the client for the amount of work it will take to get content ready and entered into a site. By taking the initiative, you can save time, money, and sanity. If you’re really doing it right, you can make a site that’s the equivalent of a sausage … without dubious ingredients.

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

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dustinwootenne · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

elizabetdfhmartin · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

mariaaklnthony · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

aracecvliwest · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

joannlyfgnch · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

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jeanshesallenberger · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

aaronbarrnna · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

pattersondonaldblk5 · 6 years

Text

How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

I won an Emmy for keeping a website free of dick pics.

The second-screen experience for National Geographic Channel’s Live From Space event, featuring an Instagram photo of local food.

The mythical “automagical” tool

Did someone say shortcuts?

The most important thing when you are creating a new site or migrating an existing one is to lock down the content you want to bring in, as early as possible.

Where will this content come from?

Do we have a team member who can generate this content from a data feed or from scratch?

If not, do we need to hire someone?

A work-in-progress content inventory for a large community college.

Perfecting the process

How do we improve the way our teams relate to content? How do we show them how the content sausage gets made without grossing anyone out? Here are a few tips:

Sample slides from a Content Guidelines presentation for one of iFactory’s current clients.

People are the “automagical” ingredient

http://ift.tt/2BDiem7

#How the Sausage Gets Made: The Hidden Work of Content

0 notes

maskedinstructor · 7 years

Text

Get To Work-Internal Affairs

The moment I laid claim to that acting assistant principal position I discovered that the improvement of instruction was at times a secondary pursuit. I would have to become a master of 'internal affairs' before I could administer any teacher training. I was from Bed-Stuy. I would not punk out now. But, Man was it overwhelming!!! Proceed with me behind the scenes.

Over the years, I have been involved in activities that are a far cry from what was taught in grad school. Two cases of teachers in full combat with their husbands, the case of one man who was married to a teacher, now his former and cafeteria worker, now his present, both of whom worked at my school, three incidents with addicts, the case of the missing for the weekend instructor, the teacher with no funds to get to the job and even the light fingered PTA president to name a few.. School, after all, is a microcosm of what is happening in life. However, very early in my administrative career, I hit the jackpot. There was this instructor who interviewed for the vacancy in the Math department. His resume was outstanding. The interview was impressive. The teacher was brilliant in every sense of the word. But, what he had in abundance was charisma. This fellow could charm a snake charmer and steal his cobra. The children loved him. He could teach his ass off. However, it was his commentary about their competence which made the students cry with laughter. One day in class, Mr. Joneson was striving mightily to explain a particularly difficult algebraic concept. After about 7 minutes, he was exasperated and levied this compliment upon the child, " Honey, you don't know crap about Math, but you are not to any trouble finding a husband." The girl just burst out laughing as did the class. The tension was eased in the room and later that same girl raised her hand to answer his question. She and her fellow classmates knew that Mr. Joneson was not a mean-spirited person. He was just funny as hell.

There we were standing in the school ,corridor and a female staff member would approach us. Mr. Joneson would smile and greet her in that southern way. She would giggle and flutter away. Charisma! Always impeccably dressed, he was a rare combination of southern gentleman and lady killer.

Joneson had one problem. Well he didn't have the problem. Still it be came a problem within the school. It seemed that that he somehow convinced the male members of the faculty to join him in a Friday afternoon poker party. As usual, you know how these things go. First it started with change, nickels, dimes and quarters. Joneson skillfully raised the stakes. Then, take home pay was involved. Joneson was winning and the rest of the male teachers were taking home less money. It all crumbled when a wife called the principal about the decrease in her husband's pay. I , being the last AP and under the flimsy pretext that he taught the children on my grade was given the assignment to remedy this infirmity. I did not charge unwittingly into the fray. I launched an investigation of the allegations that the loss in pay was directly attributed to the illegal or unprofessional poker games initiated by Joneson. I inquired about them and joined. To my surprise, this was not a low class operation, The dietary and custodial staffs were paid to supply refreshments and prepare and clean-up. after the gatherings. This was the Las Vegas Friday After School Teachers' Club. It only lacked girls in bikinis. I stayed and played for 3 Fridays and reported to the principal on my findings

Sometime before the report to the principal a phone call was made to the school. It was the wife of a staff member. She threatened to call the Board of Education about the illegal gambling on school premises. If it continued , she would go to the media and when she had completed her interview everyone in the school would be unemployed. If you are allowing one teacher to take food from my children's mouth, then you all would suffer the same fate. One thing you never want as an administrator is to make the news.

Theoretical Framework: Stay out of the headlines.

Joneson was called into the principal's office, presented with the evidence and asked not to return for that fall term. It was my job to Eye Spy his performance and extra - curricular behavior until termination day. Leave and your record will not reveal this criminal activity...Fair exchange...No robbery. And so it was.

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