#like what if we break up

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[thelovelybitten]

things I never say — 186

how do u politely tell ur bf that you need to be the primary applicant on a rental application

#teatime #I have such bad anxiety being a co-applicant #like what if we break up #I’m fucked and have to move out #at least babe would have the means to do so— he makes quadruple the money I do. #my chat noir ♥️ #I just. ugh #I hate it #but I don’t rly have a choice bc it will honestly be better if he’s the primary bc he’s got the money #I just better not do something fucking stupid in the next year LOL #that’s it that’s all #anyways

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First]��Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid. #The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier. #We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them! #Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)... #The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too. #The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed. #We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now. #It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud. #For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him. #It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes. #But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart: #It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it. #What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end. #There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet. #Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt. #Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this: #You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that. #Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 181

“Hey. Hey Tuck. Tucker. Tuck look. Look.” 

Tucker looked over the edge of the screen lazily, the half interested words on his tongue dying as he let out a wheeze of laughter. “Oh my Ancient Sands, dude, how did you manage that?” 

Danny had, for the last near year, been trying to mix shapeshifting, thank you Amorpho, with duplication. Something he’d apparently succeeded in today, if the massive fuck-you hydra standing before him was any indication. The very pleased looking, well did it count as a hydra if it had wings too? 

“You need to show Sam. Oh my Sands we need to show Val too. And Wes. You did it dude!” He floated up to look at Danny, who did a little twirl to show off. He shook his head, flecks of gold and sand falling from his hair as he laughed. 

“Do you think,” Danny lost it in laughter as several other heads echoed his words, from whichever the main him was. “Holy ancients that’s great- do, do you think we can make a dragon club? Hydras are totally dragons right? Do you think we could pull a Tiamat?” 

He landed on a head, taking a selfie to add to the groupchat labeled Preparations. “Dude, we should, but let me send this to the others first… But I am so down.” 

They can, in fact apparently, pull a Tiamat- with a little help from Princess Dora, practice in front of Frostbite in case something goes wrong, and some advice from Pandora on controlling extra limbs. Honestly, who is going to want to mess with Amity when there’s a giant dragon? And hey, maybe they can break the barrier now! 

The heads for those wondering who I was thinking of for each lol And perhaps what they might all get ((1) Kwan, Pressurized Water) ((2) Wes, Sonic Blast) ((3) Sam, Poison Gas) ((4) Star, Plasma) ((5) Danny, Ice Breath) ((6) Paulina, Acid) ((7) Tucker, Electricity) ((8) Valerie, Fire Breath) ((9) Dash, Pressurized Wind)

#Prompts #The Class Pulls a Tiamat #They’re all adults and graduated #But can’t exactly go anywhere thanks to the shield/barrier around the town #The whole town is now liminal as hell thx to the ecto having nowhere to disperse #Bounced back from the shield back into the city from the portal #Dcxdp #Dpxdc #Dp x Marvel #Whichever works for u #Amity is under an info blackout thanks to the barrier #They have no idea what’s happening outside #Hey if they can’t break the barrier themselves they’ll just combine their might together #Liminal Amity Park #The group when they succeed in becoming dragon: We are Death Destroyer of Worlds #The GIW panic and call heroes in when a Very Big THING not only approaches the ghost shield #but actually looks like it might get through #The rest of Amity might pull a Become Dragon too but honestly up to yall #Amity: Ghosts are illegal but dragons aren't!

[obsessedwithstarwars]

FIGHT SCENE (that came to me while sick and slightly out of it so bear with me if it sounds CRAZYYYY)

Jazz is fighting some villain. Villain tries to use her dead brother as emotional collateral. She ignores it, seemingly unaffected, and continues to fight.

At some point the villain will be almost defeated, awaiting the final blow. They try one final plea to the red haired woman defeating them, “What would your brother say?”

At that moment, a boy falls through the ceiling, landing on the ground in front of the woman with a smug smile on his face. “I’D SAY -Actually wait hold on a sec.”

The boy gently tugs on the woman’s foot. “Jazz c’mere!” He loudly whispers.

She lets out an irritated sigh, says “Fine.”and hops over until her foot is lightly resting on his stomach. It’s almost picturesque. Her standing triumphantly on the boy who has now dramatically put his hand to his head.

He cries out (with a shit eating grin on his face), “OVER MY DEAD BODY!”

Villain: …

Danny: …

Villain: …

Danny: GET IT? Because I’m DEAD???

Jazz: “Ugh, you’re SO dramatic.”

Danny: Eh, it was funnier in my head.

Villain: …But he’s not dead?!

Danny: Would a LIVE person be able to do THIS? *does something completely normal and human*

Villain: …

Danny: …

Villain: yes.

Danny: Dammit. How about THIS? *does another completely normal human thing*

Villain: …

Danny: …

Villain: …also yes.

Danny: You’ve gotta be shitting me.

Jazz: Just soup them already!

Danny: No no! I will figure this out! How about THIS?

Villain: Yes but WHY would you WANT TO?!

Danny: Ugh Fine. What about this one??

Villain: …I personally don’t know how to do that, but yes that is something a person could do.

Danny: Really? It’s easy! Here, let me show you!

Jazz: …

Jazz: I’m going home.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dc x dp #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc crossover #jazz fenton #danny fenton #jasmine fenton #honestly could be normal DP #but I like the idea of Joker or Riddler being the villain #or HARLEY #Danny has a flair for the dramatics #Jazz indulges him but that doesn’t mean she has to like it #have some bats in the background like #should we break this up? #or give suggestions #Jazz could point out the intangibility and falling through the ceiling and floating down to the floor #but if no one has pointed it out yet then they don’t deserve the help #bats is over there like #what does she mean by soup them already #does she want to give them a meal #or turn them into soup #this idea took hold of me and said WRITE IT #I was literally in the middle of a tv show when this scene came to me #I started laughing and had to stop the show to write this #sorry if it’s unintelligible #also I imagine Danny with Jake Peralta vibes from Brooklyn 99 #do with that what you will

[lemongogo]

sry i dont know what 2 draw anymore T_T . elendira portrait #999

#trigun #trigun maximum #elendira #elendira the crimsonnail #my art #im sure u can see it but ive been so uninspired w art lately T_T #ive tried to remedy it by just looking and observing. breaking down other works that i want 2 take direction from #but i tjknk its like . just jamming ME UPPP #and now im tjinking Too much ab it and psyching myself out #help me sorry i blow up the tags on every drawing i post ab my art struggles😭😭 #its like im whispering in here thouggh. just talking 2 myself and no one has 2 know except the ppl dealing w the same feelings #HAJAHA #anyways. i drew this just to say i finally drew smth agajn and im just going to be ok w it #like sure its not exciting but i like the colors and that shld be enough . OK !!!! #smth smth saw a post that talked ab how u get too in ur Head about this and then u dont share stuff and it becomes cyclical #and youll never get anywhere unless u just throw ur hands in the air and let it Be . #creating 4 the sake of creating . love and joy in sharing what we made and what we like #YAAAY #and bc i love elendira so much.. my go to girlie 4 art block #i need to draw her in fight scenes . i need 2 make art of her like sweaty and bloody yah . clenching my fist #maybe a livio fight scene bc i love it so much T_T

[claraoswalds]

It's racist, my dear, to be blunt. People come from outside, they think we're all witches and druids. For God's sake, child, you walked into a piece of string!

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userteri #userdiana #usertreena #miatendos #ruby sunday #enid meadows #roger ap gwilliam #* #this whole thing was just so interesting??? #like supposedly the fairy circle meant nothing and mad jack is just a story they made up #but then where did the woman (who is definitely real and definitely supernatural in nature) come from. #what was she saying to people to make them afraid of RUBY. SPECIFICALLY. #why did they call her a HERALD to MAD JACK. then she was used to defeat roger. who by complete coincidence is also called mad jack. #(hey you know what else you could call a herald. perhaps... a prelude. maybe even... a harbinger) #how did ruby TURN INTO the woman when she (i have to assume) died of old age #AND MAYBE MOST IMPORTANTLY. IF OLD DEAD RUBY STOPPED THEM FROM BREAKING THE CIRCLE. WHICH STOPPED EVERYTHING ELSE. #THEN IS ROGER AP GWILLIAM NOT GOING TO REMAIN AS PRIME MINISTER IN 2046????? #or even though that timeline was erased did it still happen Enough for him to... lose? still resign but this time for no reason??? #and WHY are we probably NEVER GOING TO GET ANSWERS TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS #AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE DOCTOR FOR 70+ YEARS

[themisterhip]

Happy genos (/:''>)/

#opm #opm genos #one punch man #doodles #art #drawing #genos #not letting this account die #had to do something between work #anyway #murata if you watch this give me more smiles of genos #i dare you #hshhshshsaash #hope you all like it #thanks and bye #<3 #(also did you guys heard the news about the opm live movie? I scared #i dont know what they'll do to my boys and girls but at least i hope is decent aaa #and friends and i did this for happy genos week too hehehe #happy genos week #we made it up lmao we needed a break from agnst

[ghostforwhat]

i think will should have gotten to see hannibal in his stupid little speedo at least once

#like we all point at will showing up to his office all pretty and poised and ass first but #imagine will who has never even seen Hannibal in a sweater at that point breaking out of jail once again to threaten/kill hannibal #and he shows up at the pool with all his righteous gay fury or whatever never considering what hannibal would be wearing #he makes Hannibal get out of the pool at gunpoint and then his whole brain shuts down #LIKE JUST CANNOT CONTROL HIS EYES AT ALL AND ​ends up making his threats to Hannibal’s crotch #Hannibal’s too fucking bewildered to even taunt him like ???how did you get out again???

[bottombaron]

you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.

Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.

even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.

if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.

so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.

#wwdits #nandor the relentless #Nandor #what we do in the shadows #i think its obvious by how much Nandor loves to read that he grew up educated #it's one of my favorite character traits of his #anyways #this was just your local psa abt the depth of Nandor's character and intelligence #and how the medieval islamic world was like - so much more advanced than it's western counterpart it's hilarious how ppl mischaracterize it #(by hilarious i mean it makes me want to break something) #this was in my drafts lolol what did i read that made me vent this? idk #also 'islamic world' is just a term some historians use to describe a specific geographical location and historical age #kind of how 'western world' is used today #it doesn't mean it's specific to one religion or nation but the broader time and location #meaning that Al Qolindar or Persia or Ilkhanate or w/e you want to call where Nandor came from #the same expectations of education and it's vibrant social/cultural world remain an accurate image of the middle east in the medieval age #if you come from the west like me #think The Forum + The Library of Alexandria + Paris/Florence + and idk anything else u think of when u think of 'Western Excellence' #and then imagine of all of that in one place at one time and then u might get close to what the world Nandor was living in as a human

[little-pondhead]

Bruce was being watched. Again.

He didn’t know where it was coming from, and that was a problem at the moment. He was hosting another gala, intent on putting on the “Bruice Wayne” mask for the public. None of his children were attending, unfortunately, but everything was going okay so far.

Then he kept feeling a cool breeze on the back of his neck. His hairs stood on end, and he shivered randomly. Someone mentioned that he looked cold. But Bruce wasn’t cold. He was Batman! Batman is never bothered by something stupid like the temperature. It just felt like there were multiple pairs of eyes staring at him from all directions.

Bruce tried to catch whoever it was, but when he looked, there was no one there. He even made extra laps around the room, easily slipping between socialites and chatting his way through the crowd. He scanned the tables, checked the stairs, peeked outside, and even snuck at glance at the chandeliers for fuck’s sake! There was nothing. No cameras, no lingering eyes, nothing.

Bruce could feel his heartbeat quicken. There was something in the room. Something dangerous.

Eventually, the source of his anxiety came to him. The gala was small, being in the middle of the off-season for social events. It was a relatively quiet gathering. Still, Bruce flinched when someone tapped his shoulder from behind when he was making another waltz around the room. He turned, and was faced with a boy no older than 16, but no younger than 14. It was hard to tell his age. He wore an ill-fitted navy suit and scuffed dress shoes. His tie was no where to be seen, and the boy had a platter of finger foods balanced in one hand. He hadn’t heard anyone approach at all.

What made Bruce freeze, however, was the fact that the boy looked exactly like the portraits of the young Thomas Wayne that were hanging innocently in the Wayne family home. His crystal blue eyes seemed to glow in the overhead lights as they bore into Bruce. It felt like the boy could see his soul. The air was more chilled than it had been all night, and everything in Bruce’s mind was screaming DANGER!

“Y’know…” Bruce’s breath caught in his throat as the boy spoke. His midwestern accent was heavy, and the boy took a slow moment to polish off a baked feta bite before continuing. “You look like the kinda guy to have a secret basement. The bloody kind. Nice party, though!” With that, the boy disappeared back into the crowd, taking the cold air with him.

Bruce never got out a word.

———

Danny sees all the wandering souls and shades attached to Bruce Wayne, and comes to the obvious conclusion that the billionaire is a serial killer.

#pondhead blurbs #no beta we die like danny #danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #Bruce Wayne #bruce is very unsettled by this literal child #who looks like a carbon copy of his father when he was a kid #Bruce is stuck between fight or flight whenever danny is around #which makes him freeze up cause he doesn’t know what to do #he’s afraid of this child #danny thinks bruce wayne is a serial killer #and then he sees the other Waynes and is like #‘oh it’s all of them’ #‘well I should probably do something about this’ #so he accidentally becomes the newest villain because he’s trying to stop both the Batfam and the Waynes from Situations #he is not aware that Bruce is Batman #they’re both funky and the whole city is messing with his Vibes #he cant catch a break #but also he is an idiot #with no self preservation #like #what’s the etiquette for confronting a serial killer? #compliment his party #obviously #dpxdc

[copper-skulls]

FUNDING FOR THIS PROGRAM WAS MADE POSSIBLE BY—

#re-found this song and thought of the gonermaker sequence and how gaster talks. image wouldn't leave my brain #we love the fourth wall breaking old man #ANYWAYS: #digital art #krita #gimp #fanart #gaster #wd gaster #deltarune #OKAY!! IMAGE HAS BEEN EXCORCISED #eyestrain #due to the chromatic aberration effect I actually did by hand btw fhak. but it's not overly pronounced unless you open it up #(that's what I used gimp for lmao) #i didn't even think about the precise red when doing the soul in krita but it looks like I either hit or got VERY CLOSE to the true ff0000 #without even thinking about it too hard hfjkadhs #GOD DAMN IT. put this into the ut tag automatically despite literally thinking about DR the entire time

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Fishing Interlude

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #ONE HUNDERED (+6 bonus) COMICS BABY!!!! WE MADE IT! #There's still at least 200 more to go at the rate I'm going but still! Triple digits for a comic project feels worth celebrating. #I'm no stranger to setting myself on projects but this is certainly the most adventurous and long-term one I've undertaken. #The aim was to be done by the end of September (whoops (I also took a few breaks to post other stuff)) But I'm still having fun! #Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey! I have a celebration announcement tomorrow! #Sorry this one doesn't really feel like a 'comic 100'. It's sandwiched between two comics that were supposed to be 'comic 100'... #I love how excited Jingyi is to be in the garden. And I will never miss an opportunity to have them fish. #Slowly...I am setting up my punchline with all this. I promise it's leading somewhere. #Lan Sizhui didn't fit into the frame for panel 3 so I like to think he dove in after a fish #Afterall that's were lan zhan is in this comic. Under the water. Hunting. LSZ is just following what his mentor taught him. #Sorry I broke Jingyi's characterization for this punchline. He's one of the biggest wangxian shippers in canon. But fishing comes first.

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[spriteofmushrooms]

The interesting thing about Jiang Cheng is that he refuses to be his mother's golden child to Wei Wuxian's scapegoat; he actively chooses Wei Wuxian again and again. He defends Wei Wuxian from her until she dies. It's unusual.

This doesn't mean that Wei Wuxian's experience was any less fraught--being hated by a caretaker is awful even if everyone else loves you. But it was an interesting choice by MXTX.

#pallas.rtf #mdzs #this is perhaps because i spent a lot of time on various subreddits #but either golden children don't protect their siblings or the golden children who protect their siblings don't end up posting on reddit #because i've never encountered a clear golden child and scapegoat dynamic like jc & wwx's in real life or in fiction #i suppose that's wuthering heights again--cathy defends heathcliff (until she learns how to be a proper lady) #but i don't know. it's interesting to see jc step in for wwx directly in the novel and then contrast that to wwx comforting jc after jfm #doesn't praise jc for helping to save wwx #i often wonder if wwx was as resentful in the moment or if--like all memories--wwx reframed that interaction after the golden core transfer #the way he talks about jc like he's sooo delicate and breakable that obviously wwx has to comfort him is v. reminiscent of how he acts like #jc almost directly forced wwx to do this mad impossible thing because jc was sad and breaking #if jc read mdzs he'd probably curl up in a miserable little ball #but yeah like... memories are shaped so much by what we think and feel now #all memory is imagination... and wwx was a tormented ghost for 13 years because no one offered him anything #so what would that do to you? #i'm off topic