#like we are never gonna be free lol…

[tomatoluvr69]

I hate the term theyfab I need to get off the internet forever and read aldo leopold’s Sand County Almanac which is Walden for bitches with discerning tastes

#like we are never gonna be free lol…

[inkskinned]

one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.

but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.

you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.

and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.

you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?

the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.

#writeblr #btw i got out #even though i felt this way #i was undiagnosed and was in a particularly fucked up situation #(it's complicated lol) #i had no money and no way out #no car no license . i still had a curfew at 22 years old #and still. i got out. #you can get out too. #i wasn't allowed to literally do anything after school we were pretty much only allowed 1 hobby #and STILL i got out. #it wasn't bc i was particularly smart or capable or clever. it's that 1. i got lucky & 2. #i knew there had to be The Rest of The World #and I wanted to at least VAGUELY get to the Rest of the World before i gave up trying #sometimes it's the spite that gets u thru it. that sense - fuck u #FUCK YOU ACTUALLY. #im gonna make my own life u stupid bitch. since u seem so convinced i could never REALLY do it. #whenever ppl are like <3 just cut out ur parents <3 im like <3 have u never been poor lol <3 #<3 i needed them to sign my loans <3 #<3 bestie not every person who is struggling is going to be able to make the grades and hero status to get a free ride. #and guess what baby!! we still deserve to get out and have a good life.

[sage-nebula]

Tangle has such good Cool Big Sis energy with Tails . . . like in a lot of ways she has similar drive and energy to Sonic (albeit maybe a little less responsible in some areas since she's new to adventuring and mostly just grew up living a normal life in a normal town), and so in that way it's easy to see how she and Tails could become really fast friends if they were ever given more time to work with each other. But even apart from that, we've already seen how she would look after him, too, because even if she lived in a normal life in a normal town and was never responsible for looking out for anyone else (she and Jewel are the same age I'm pretty sure), she still would if given the opportunity and we actually have that with Tails in canon.

Like I don't blame the characters for the bad writing in Forces because obviously they have no agency over how they were written, and Tails in particular was just butchered in that game, but . . . well, given that we see Tangle working with Tails and checking in on his emotional state right after the Metal Virus ended and Sonic went MIA, I feel pretty confident in saying that she wouldn't have just let him fuck off into the wilderness if he ever "lost it" during an apocalypse scenario. Like again, the fact that Amy and Knuckles did during Forces is just another example of bad writing in that game, but Amy isn't that much older than Tails and Knuckles is used to being a loner, so I could kind of give it a pass. But Tangle really stepped up here and checked in on Tails and didn't let him just brush her off, and she's just such a Cool Big Sis who, yes, will absolutely help him test fire new rocket launchers with no safety gear and 100% agrees that cookies are an acceptable breakfast, but also genuinely cares about his emotional well-being and will look out for that, too.

Also, they're cool tail buddies. What's not to love?

#really hope we get to see more of this dynamic in the future #dgmw i love Tails interacting with his big bro #but now he can have a big sis too and that's just as cool!!! #also this thought may or may not have occurred to me based on what i'm currently working on #tangle the lemur #miles tails prower #anyway it's no coincidence that Tangle is in my top 4 Sonic series characters #i just love her so much #actually it's more like top 2 bc i have two characters who tie for 1 #and then two who tie for 2 #so it's four characters crammed into two spots lol #also considering Sonic accidentally broke Tails' data collector during the Metal Virus #& then had to deliver that news to Tails who started crying when he heard it #I'm sure Sonic himself would start crying on some level knowing that Tails STILL doesn't feel like Sonic ever let him down #you hear that Sonic? no matter how much you hate yourself for the Metal Virus #your little bro still believes in you & sees you as his hero #HE LOVES YOU BITCH!!! HE AIN'T NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU . . . BITCH!!! #(i'm sick ignore how all over the place these tags are) #(i'm allowed to let my ADHD roam free when I'm ill) #sth

[moonsidesong]

my friend's game crashed suddenly in the middle of the investigation during dangan time today ........ he hadn't saved the whole chapter.......... ah...

#bri talks #he's gonna catch up on his own time so we can get right back into it when we're all together #but man that sucks #in the future we're gonna set timers to remind him to save every 15 mins or so #i got stuck in a wall and had to repeat a lot of chapter 4 once before #but i've never seen it outright crash like that #and i initially played it on a low-power Kinda Crappy laptop #wonder what happened #... what is kinda funny though #is that we wanted to ensure he would have access to the rest of komaeda's FTEs but we didn't think he'd hang out with him on his own #so we lied and said there was a bug/flag error that made it so komaeda's free time events didn't work properly-- #--if you didn't see his first event during the first chapter #... i guess the game being a little buggier than the first kinda ended up supporting my little fib. LOL

[moregraceful]

Heavenly father, can I call you daddy?

#behaving normally abt arkells coming to san francisco!!!!! #i was gonna fly to VANCOUVER last year to see them at rogers arena and then my passport got fucked due to the name change #so i just gave away my ticket for free on twitter lol. they should play ''all roads'' for me specifically for being nice #big conversation in the leafs gc about what to wear. ''i have a hyman leafs jersey and dermott leafs shirsey. which do i wear?'' #''does he even like the leafs anymore? max was a traitor at the asg. dermott shirsey'' #''HYMAN JERSEY!!'' #''too bad i don't have a raptors his jersey'' ''I MEAN THEY FIRED HIS BOYFRIEND THERE TOO'' #''mlse hates max'' #''the fact that his boyfriends were fired in the offseason ;('' #are you normal or do you and your friends have an intricate au in which max from arkells is dating kyle dubas and nick nurse #''intricate au'' it's not an au it's just a fact #the running joke is that is bc nick nurse ended up with the 76ers and kyle is in pitt bro is just moving to pennslyvania #is it a joke....we don't know.... #the amount of kyle dubas/max arkells twt fic i've written should get me put in a home i think. there was more than one #dark days...i think my friends are glad i am off twitter frankly #i'm missing the cuda homeopener which sucks but i see the cuda 500 times a year. this is the first time the arkells have come to sf #in like. SEVERAL years. they never come to the usa west coast they only ever go to new york when they come to the us #biggest band in canada that no one has ever heard of in the usa lol. i'm not missing this shit #posting too much bc i. do not want to edit my fic #beryl gave me their beta edit notes and i melted into a puddle and rolled into the sewer drain and floated out to sea #me: ''this fic SUCKS i need HELP'' beryl: ''here are my beta notes so you can edit'' me: 😨😨😨😨 #fuck around (write a bad fic and send it to your trusted beta for help) find out (receive beta notes and now i have to edit) #(in two days)(help)(it needs so much editing) #they said i could go up tot 12-15k if i needed. small mercies. ''10k limit was so you don't write 30k again'' ok fair!!!! #fresno oilers.txt

[annoyingfobbie]

GUYS MY BEST FRIEND GOT TWO FREE TICKETS TO THE LIL FOB PERFORMANCE IN NEWARK I'M GONNA SEE FOB LIVE OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDD

#i've never seen them live before and i've never expected to just bc big concerts are too expensive and stressful to be worth it for me #but now that i get to see them FREE????? are you KIDDING ME????????????? AND ITS GA??? #its just gonna be a really short performance i think ppl were saying its probably just to prerecord for the VMAs #so its definitely not like i'm seeing a full show or anything and they're probably not gonna talk to the crowd or anything lol like #they'll probably just go out and play two songs max then leave. but i can't fucking believe i get to see them #i truly never ever expected to see them live this is insane #my best friend is a fucking angel for this fr she's even probably gonna be driving us the hour and forty minutes out there right after #school so we can get there on time. fuck i'm so excited jesus christ

[bazookapussy-stankhoe-5000]

Hi, no one asked for this but I've decided to compile together all my favorite moments from 50% off (by Octopimp on YouTube). Here's part 1

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

#i figured out how to download youtube videos and how to splice clips together and now i have too much power #free! iwatobi swim club #free! #50% off #sorry im like going insane #im gonna post these as i make them and they take me some time cause you know never done it before #but that way i wont flood yalls dashes #just been thinkin about this for a while #mentioned offhand a week or two ago to my sister that i wanted to make a post about all my fave 50 off quotes #and she said 'itd be better if you made like a video compilation' #and i had no knowledge of video editing or anything similar but the thought was lodged in my brain #so here we are lol

[junkdyke]

.

#i know my period is coming so i am keeping that in mind #but im just feeling so fucking sad and defeated and frustrated #like why is it so fucking hard for me to get clients i dont know what im doing wrong #like are they just ugly #feels like im never gonna be able to afford to move out of my homophobic ass house at this rate #idk if i just need to find a new studio but like i dont want to leave #and one of my “”best friends“” isnt even talking to me anymore #lol like everything just feels shitty rn #only mild encouragement is so many people looked through my flash book and kept saying “oh look how cute!” #and picked my design from the free tempt tattoos we were giving out #but then like why is it so hard to get actual CLIENTS #just rlly defeating #personal

[aloysarrow]

I wish GI wasn't trying to push people (kinda specifically longer players) away from the game, like damn. I really hope new players are watching closely and not just deciding "there are haters" or "complainers." Some of the things, like the age old where's the end-of-game road map, have been actual game needs that haven't been addressed for years. Game needs, guys. Idk, if you still call some people haters/complainers, then I'm probably gonna call you a bootlicker lol

#also three pulls for three debate clubs is actually insulting and no. we were not happy about it last year either #i hope the CN community causes such a ruckus that they fix the artifact loadout bullshit #GI actually needs to apologize and ive said some wild things elsewhere like they need to give a free 5* character but honestly i just want #to see that theyre are listening to the fucking players. we fund their game and/or promote it with playing and community on platforms #they wouldnt have BILLIONS of money without the pkayers and they are not doing QoL things or fixing busted characters or the artifact #loadout that is going to be more trouble than useful. end of game information. lost weapons to timed events - im lucky i have cinnabar #spindle in case i get Albedo but i dont have that Festering sword or Jade Cutter? and both are apparently great for Furina and im pissed #that they just wont be available ever again. they heed to put them in the shop like they do the skins and im so serious about that #theres so much more #it just makes me sad bc i do really like genshin but im probably gonna move on after this all blows up or when nothing happens at all #genshin impact #my posts #oh right my frustration is with the community on the mihoyo app bc even just saying you think this is a good thing will bring in the REAL #bootlickers telling you youre ungrateful for three debate clubs lmao. i have never called it copium before but i think that if youre calling #players ungrateful for being mad that GI's appreciation for a year of playing and/or spending money is worth three 3*weapons then youre a #boooootlicker with a sad fucking addiction. seriously cope harder bro lol #i really just want them to fix the artifact loadout that shit is buuullshit. and of course i want Aloy’s constellations. they should have #been there September 2021 ffs. and i like Dehya. i like playing her too. im not meta enough to notice things i guess but hyv should have #listened to players about her. #this shouldnt be a staff of homa moment guys. that bullshit actually made change happen for the better like why are you mad at the demand #QoL things???? why are you just ok with no actual patches patching anything??? #ok i gotta be done. the tags are the actual post damn lol

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow #but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done #and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird #but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow #so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏 #i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood #was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone #ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and #hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy #i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better #god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely #focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony #so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno #lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done #to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself #sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough #lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime #so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha #back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies #oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad #tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire #tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh #unrelated

[hua-fei-hua]

working with kids every day for 5.75 hrs straight every day is kind of tiring but YESTERDAY we finally got to do what I wanted (prompt the kids into writing stories) and it was so beautiful n glorious in the times when my coworker wasn't, like, obviously dismissing everything

#in order to motivate the kids she decided to make it into a competition but the way they judged it was by having kids vote #'did you like that story' when read out loud to everyone which is not how i would want art to be judged #art's job is not to be LIKED by the MASSES; the job of art is to EXPRESS something to other people!!!!!!!!! #also she was on her phone when reading the kids' stories out n so at one point i just stopped reading a story #hushed the kids n turned to stare at her to call her out bc WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR THEM #if what you have to do on your phone is so important please just leave the room! go to the staff room the chairs are much comfier!!!! #the kids don't even think i HAVE a PHONE bc they never get to see it!!!! #anyway i just want these kids to grow up knowledgeable of the world and appreciative of art and kind of heart #(is working with them for four days this week) lol #but a lot of them return over n over again every break so they get familiar w/the workers over time #anyway i'm gonna bring candy to work (if i remember) n give it to the kids whose stories i liked best yesterday #hopefully today we will run out of ideas to do with them again long before free play time bc i wanna propose doing improv w/the kids #we're gonna fuckin 'whose line is it anyway' this shit i hope lmao #花話

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

anyway i apologise to henry cavill bc netflix has shown me that casting can always be worse lmao

#tbd #witcher negativity #like he wasn't ever gonna be my perfect geralt but at least he cared about the source material lol #this man had to be like 'yeah geralt isn't going to make a horse joke when roach just fucking died' i think he's relieved #there's no way the show wasn't giving henry a giant fucking headache bc he's a book purist so fly free king #i'm sorry but couldn't find anyone to play geralt but a bland h*msworth #like really the most basic looking hollywood man they could find christ lmao #But still think a sizeable amount of ppl only watched the thing for him and now that he's gone maybe the nightmare will end #sure his conflicting schedule would've played a part but lmfao come on. #this man wanted this role really bad and if he's just gonna drop it bc the contract is up #*initial contract #it has to be bc it just stopped being worth staying for lool #i feel like when s3 is out we will instantly know exactly which moment henry cavill was like 'fuck it i'm done i'm gone never call me'

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Luke:My favorite lyric here is definitely when Ariana suddenly says...

Luke:”Wishing on a shooting star in the sky”. “We can do anything, if we try”. “Can’t ressurect Ghandi”. “But if we put our heads together”. “We can do anything”.

Alex:Probably my favorite pop song lyric of all time.

Luke:Wish on a star! You can be who you are! We can do anything! Except ressurect Martin Luther King Jr who was killed by the FBI.

#immortal soul incorrect quotes #maybe i shouldn't tag it this anymore. lol. anyway #incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #lukeblacksurvival #alexblacksurvival #hidden motives #it's ya boi. first wave of college exams is nearly done so i've got a minute to kill #how are yall doing. my mind can be best described as bo burnham's song Shit. funky fresh but i cried for three hours straight #i think that this blog not sending out many quotes is like the natural cycle. ay mariposas #all the good quotes have been done. now it's the sporadic 'oh this would fit them' #which gets more sporadic as time goes on until i haven't sent anything out in months #plus. again. college exams. i don't have the time to spare #right. uhh. anyone want to talk about the whole rumor thing of immortal soul's servers closing #i don't know if they closed it because i haven't even entered the game since #feels like a waste when they're apparently gonna kill the whole thing yknow? #hey maybe i should take this free time and record all the aglaia passes i did #then if they do close the servers i'll release that shit on youtube #what are they gonna do? sue me? you killed the game first. don't pull a nintendo #while i get it. just... idk. feels like when they killed flash. so much shit we might never ever get back #i'm not really as passionate about the game and characters these days but they hold a place in my heart

[xxlumos]

IT’S SUBMITTED!!!! I SUBMITTED MY THESIS AND MY FILM

I AM FINALLY

FREE

#AGONY #the past few weeks were pure suffering #dude my mental health was spiraling #but now fingers crossed my professor lets me pass this lol #but #I am quite satisfied with the results so we shall see #tw: ed mention #I’ve never been this stressed in my life like this before #lost almost 4 kg because of it in the last week 🥴🥴 #hope everything goes back to norma #oh well #the next few months I’m gonna spend as a free woman #… and I have to find a job LOL #anita rambles #cant wait to finally draw again 😭

[orcelito]

I hate having to make decisions about peoples' lives 😭 me straight up having the power in my hands to affect who has a job with us, like. Fuck, man. I don't like it

#speculation nation #IM just a neurotic chihuahua who gave me the right to decide peoples' fates like this lmao #well i did. by being here so long. & my boss did by entrusting this to me. #but stiiiiill i hate it lol. i keep flipping back and forth #i think i do wanna do dbz dude bc barista lady does have a job already & is leaving in half a year #& i hope dbz dude can mesh well into our store's culture #he has more brand loyalty than this lady to start with. says he loves our tea. while shes never even had bubble tea before. #which ya kno isnt a huge deal but in the matter of retention we'll be more likely to keep someone who cares about here specifically #(see: me. who in very large part is still here only for the unlimited free bubble tea lmfao) #omfg the girl who came in yesterday for her paperwork seemed SO fucking happy when i offered her a drink #like YEA GIRL. WE GET FREE DRINKS!!!! lmao one of the Best parts about working here. #ughhhh i gotta send out the offer. dbz dude i hope you dont disappoint #not sending any rejects until i have a confirmation from these 2 but once they're in. then i will let the others know #i know it's typical for stores to just say theyre rejected or not say anything at all. but i wonder if i could tell them why #customize the rejection messages to maybe soften the blow??? idk going by a template just feels so impersonal #like i met and talked to all of these people. theyre Real People. & id like to respect that. #i feel so sad for the sweet girl 😭 im gonna try to be nice about it with her...

[snekdood]

welp, at this point if anyone in the crowd of Bad Faith People Who Stalk Me And Hate Me Bc Of Someone Else's Compulsive Lying tries to accuse me of antisemitism bc i have a vampire whos a villain in my comic, i'm gonna ask them what their take was on allll of this going on. if its anything like "israelis and/or zionists are all evil people" then ik i never have to take their opinion seriously bc they dont even know what antisemitism means.

#i will listen to jewish ppl if they have any critiques or concerns about him in my comic but the rest a yall. lol. lmao. #if you are right now perpetuating antisemitic conspiracy theories about how jewish ppl are in control of all the money n shit #how can you claim you are less antisemitic than me? #its honestly freeing to realize a lot of internet leftists dont know wtf they're talking about ever. #so now i dont gotta over think if i Am being antisemitic bc yall dont even know wtf it looks like! #i was always so worried about this possibly happening but yknow what ive realized through all of this- #a lot of yall dont know wtf you're talking about at all ever. i was worried about being dog piled but like. why should i be now #you want a reason to hate me regardless. you're gonna be bad faith and assume the most uncharitable thing regardless. why #should i care and try to cater to YOUR- a non jewish leftist's- sensibilities? #just say you hate what i make and move tf on. #stop pretending you have a moral reason. also maybe stop pretending you know whats going to happen esp if my abuser on here #gave you their rundown and understanding of my comic bc i kept so much shit a secret from them to begin with. #why tf would i share all of my comic to them. so they can steal my ideas and/or share it to everyone? yeah i already knew ahead of time #that could be something they do. and i know to never reveal anything that spoils the plot anyways. #even if they're right about the tiny amount of stuff i showed them assume they're still wrong bc they just LOVE mixing truth with lies. #its like. their favorite thing to do. #but yeah yknow if any jewish ppl have any concerns ill listen. everyone else can go fuck themselves though. #dont come up in here acting like you know what antisemitism is lmao. #honestly i should've only considered jewish ppls opinions on this to begin with. but yall really gaslit me into thinking you knew just as #much as they do about antisemitism. and now look where we are. you've revealed you dont know shit and i dont need to take you seriously. #while you spent all this time laid back thinking you Know Better bc you call yourself progressive and think thats all the work you need #to do- i was ACTUALLY learning about antisemitism and conspiracy theories so i ACTUALLY know wtf to avoid in my art #and yall are gonna really try and be bold enough to assume you know what it looks like. you havent done shit. you havent reflected on shit #you think you're already above it all when really you're only a couple steps away from regressing into a conservative.