#like this guy basically explicitly said 'you should kill me. that's what i want' AND THEY JUST DID NOT DO THAT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

altocat · 7 months

Note

Alright, hope you are doing well and start getting some more pleasant interactions as time passes, my dear! Meanwhile, here are the final tidbits of Japanese insight I have garnered for EC chapter five!

Glenn seems to say “I’ll beat you up/beat you to a pulp” to Seph about the whistling instead of just “I’ll kick your ass!”

This is so aggressive but funny to me because of how effortlessly Glenn witnessed Seph destroy countless soldiers earlier, haha.

When Glenn mimics his younger self, Seph asks “Why the sudden apology?” and Glenn responds with “Growing up into an adult is complicated.”

I think he was definitely acting like his silly younger self, but also teasing Seph a bit or calling back to the little guy’s apology to lighten the mood. This is probably why it gets Seph giggling. He seems to feel more relaxed at that point. His team forgives him.

Alright, now for the heavier stuff:

The climax scene where Sephiroth explains his soldier philosophy is pretty interesting in the Japanese context.

For one, you guys should know that his injury seems to be a bullet wound.

He clarifies this in Japanese saying that, “One of the “kids,” as you called them, shot me. Their aim was precise/accurate, which tells me they were also trained soldiers.” (Callback to when he said “I am a kid on the battlefield too, aren’t I?”)

I am not sure what Seph’s healing abilities are, but I find it curious that he doesn’t make much fuss over a bullet wound in his arm. It doesn’t seem to affect him much.

Secondly, in the Japanese he says that the others, “were too quick to look down on those they “labeled” as kids or elderly.”

His specific statement implies that he knows people think lesser of and look down on kids and elders, and then he follows this up by saying that, “he is always fighting those looks/that look/those eyes.”

Basically, it is implied that people look at him that way too, that they look down on him for being a kid or “lesser” and he is fighting against those disapproving eyes. It comes off like he feels monitored and belittled and is trying to overcome that with his strength.

The English translation didn’t do horrible with this part and I think they got the message across, but the “People make assumptions about me too” was a little vague compared to the more clear statement Seph makes here. I can only imagine he felt Shinra’s watchful eyes on him at all times if this is how he thinks.

Next, Seph explicitly says that, “I am a soldier that was raised to stand on the battlefield. I learned that soldiers must be strong in body and mind.”

He seems to say this in a way that suggest soldiers are worthless if they don’t have strong bodies or hearts. This also the training dialogue, so it’s interesting that he says it more like he was literally raised to be on the battlefield. His training was his entire upbringing.

Another weird detail is how much it sounds like he is almost repeating a mantra to himself when he says the next bits about needing a strong heart. He goes on about “a heart/mind that does not shake, an unwavering heart/mind, a ruthless heart/mind.”

Honestly it sounds like his training is kicking in and he is listing off what he was taught about killing without hesitation. Furthermore, he says that soldiers led by their emotions are second-rate, or old-fashioned, and that such an existence is “pointless/meaningless.”

He believes that if he is not ruthless, there is no point in existing, because he will die, he will be lesser than what he was raised to be. He has no choice. It’s kill or be killed, either by his enemies or the people that trained him.

Finally, in the Japanese context, the cyborg scene really seems to imply that despite Seph’s monologue, he completely lets his guard down after Glenn consoles him and then confesses his real feelings.

“I am not an altered/hybrid human. I never wanted to be one,” drives home the sense that Sephiroth knows he is actually enhanced and different, but doesn’t want to be…and within the context of the scene, it gets across the message of “I really never wanted any of this.”

It’s not just that he didn’t want to be Shinra’s golden soldier, he didn’t want to be born into a position that allowed him to be that in the first place. He didn’t want to be different at all—just normal. He kills like he does because he has no choice, but that scene shows him honestly admitting, even after his entire speech, that he isn’t happy with any of what he has to face. It’s tearing him apart but there isn’t anything he can do.

And there’s some more free pain for you guys lol! I can’t wait for the next chapter.

Aghhhhhh my heart

These chapter updates are doing me a depression, I tell you hwat.

Thanks so much for these translations!! It's super neat to hear the context of certain scenes through a semi different lens! This new content is just absolutely heartbreaking.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #sephiroth #ffvii ever crisis #First soldier #glenn lodbrok #ffvii first soldier #ffviiec #Ffvii first soldier #ever crisis

45 notes · View notes

green-lotus · 2 years

Text

Raphael making out headcanons, pt 1

(disclaimer: i tend to imagine more ugh vanilla stuff when IT comes to sex, even tho that's not quite the best word for it. don't misunderstand, i'm all in for some wild ideas, but i'm not into really rough sexual stuff, but more of intimate, passionate ones myself, so to speak, so that's the filter all my headcanons naturally go through. if your red turtle wet dreams include getting dominated & straightforward railed & being aggressively cummed into, good on you, but that's not so much of what i will be sharing here. even if I do have some fun parts i'm working on. having said that!)

So!

• I've seen many headcanons' on how Raph would be probably kinda possessive and jealous of his s/o, and I just don't vibe with IT tbh. Sure, he may have some issues with it, but given how playful he can be when not feeling threatened in any way, I'd say that given the right amount of reassurement and love and acceptance, he may go basically the opposite direction and even enjoy his partner casually flirting with or teasing other people, only for the pun to be that they're falling back into his arms and leaving the other person quite fucking bewildered to say the least. That would both play to his more fun side & would give him the much needed public display of appreciation, praise & putting him in the first place

• Imagine Casey strolling through the lair to find something he misplaced there earlier and seeing Raph with his partner starting to casually make out on the couch in the corner. Casey is not his dad nor any of his brothers, so Raph doesn't feel like he needs to show off or hold the tough guy attitude. Casey freezes, as Raph and his s/o stop, lock eyes with him and then with each other with a mischievous smile

"Raphael, look... He's looking at us, the self - elected half - assed Jason Voorhees... maybe he wants to join in. Sweet fuck look at his face"

"Should we let him watch?"

"Oh, and share the sight with a hockey slut? Nah, he didn't deserve it, that's all for me under that shell"

"Should I let him at least undress you then?"

"Man, you wanna kill him? And yourself, in the process? What's here is for your eyes and hands only tonight"

Casey's long skidaddled away at this point but you're having the most delicious fun watching him die inside

• That being said, I do believe that in the right circumstances he would have no problem making out in the middle of the lair and letting his brothers hear a bit of the fun between you two. He would want to pride yourself in what you're doing between you and that he has you and you want him

• He would particularly enjoy falling asleep together and someone finding you in the morning laying with each other, with obvious implication of what was happening before you two dozed off

• Particularly Leo, yeah. Leo is speechless, annoyed or at least slightly bothered, Donnie is a bit awkward but just assumes it for what IT is and goes about his business being just quietly glad for you two

• Raph may not be the best of a showman in that regard but boy would he enjoy just observing you dancing, stretching, getting naked or doing anything explicitly innuendo, if not just for him then knowing full well he is around seeing what you're doing

• And shit, would he love the moment you come to undress him, there's not much there except for those hilarious pants or his mask or shoulder pads but it's something

• You make him undress you as well. It's some sort of handsy exercise for him. If Splinter's making him knit he can handle your dresses, lingerie and jewellery

• You make him wait for you. It's killing him but he's enjoying that and the taste of you after is all the sweeter

• I'd bet Raph would love to make out to the music. Some deep techno/ rap vibes with something a bit more rhythmic and rock - ish in between. but for more gentle times he would accept and try to vibe with whatever his partner's into

(yeah I've been trying to put together list off songs i imagine would play to his taste in bed, but i'm just not really that knowledgeable in those music areas, if anyone has any suggestions please share)

#tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt bayverse #bayverse tmnt #bayverse turtles #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael #tmnt headcanons #tmnt raph x oc #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt raph relationship #tmnt raph headcanons

196 notes · View notes

kujakumai · 2 years

Note

please give us the Ishtar siblings paper please please I live for lore and theories

I have tried to write this specific meta like eight times and it never comes out how I want it but now I'm just going to give up and make the attempt. yeah fine.

Yami Marik is made of hate; specifically 10-year-old Marik's hate after he was put through the carving ritual. The real question is who that hate is directed at, and it's one Marik explicitly asks--his first question, after he comes out of it, is word for word "Who should I hate?"

The most obvious answer to that is "Dad Ishtar," but the fact that there's a question in the first place means that he is not the only one on the table. Yami Marik wants to kill Rishid, too. A lot. He only shows up in the first place when Rishid's not awake. That is not a coincidence.

So let us backtrack real quick: Marik Ishtar is 10 years old, really isolated, and in an abusive home (it's not clear if, outside the ritual, Dad Ishtar was physically abusive to anyone besides Rishid; but even if Marik is the favorite, regular exposure to that level of violence and control would have messed up all three of them). He is about to go through something horrible at the hands of his father, and he knows and dreads it; he doesn't understand why it has to happen, is so scared of it he's depicted as explaining it while in tears.

The adult he does see as source of safety amongst all this is his big brother Rishid. And he asks Rishid to save him from it. The anime switches this, and has Rishid offer on his own accord, but don't get it twisted--in the original, Rishid taking the ritual in his place was all Marik's idea. It's not an order, either--he pleads for it (again, in tears), and Rishid says yes.

And Rishid does try! And fail. His appeal is firmly rejected. What happens next is that Marik gets dragged off kicking and screaming and pleading for help and experiences a painful mutilation while the person he asked to protect him does nothing.

It's debatable if there's anything Rishid actually could have done to prevent this, save kidnap Marik and run off to surface or something, or if he can really be held at fault. The objective facts don't matter here, though. What matters is that Marik is 10, and his ten year old traumatized little brain isn't processing who actually controlled this process. He just knows he asked his dad not to have to go through this, and had to anyway, and that he asked Rishid to save him and he didn't.

So Marik stumbles out in horrible pain, and asks--"Who should I hate?" Who's fault is this? Who should he direct his anger at? His dad? Rishid? The clan? The pharaoh? The gods? Who let this happen?

The reason that the reveal of Rishid's carvings act as a temporary seal on Marik's hatred is because they answer that question with "Not Rishid." They're a "Look what I've done, look how bad I feel. I still care about you, I'm suffering too, I accept fault."

Marik's reaction to this is really interesting, too. He's initially horrified, and then recovers, and proceeds to laugh about it and affirm Rishid's inferiority.

This is a REALLY NOTICABLE CHANGE! A big one! It's a big deal! Because up until now, everything we've seen about little Marik and Rishid's relationship is that despite what Dad said, Marik thought of Rishid as his brother and was eager to have him accepted into the family. This is a major act of love and penance by Rishid, and Marik is reacting to it by basically saying "Good, I hope it hurts. Maybe Dad was right and you are supposed to serve me."

Marik does hate Rishid! At least, ten year old Marik in excruciating pain does. He's a terrified little kid, he asked for help, was told he would be helped, and didn't get any. He hates him as least as much as the guy who did the carving.

But the scars are enough, for now. They're not brothers anymore, that relationship has a giant crack in it, but it gets a band-aid. Rishid may have hurt you, but he cares enough to be hurt with you, and to feel bad about it, which nobody else seems to. So the scars seal the hatred. Somebody still wants to protect him.

Marik's relationship with Rishid after this is interesting and complicated. I don't think it ever fully recovers. He still loves and trusts him a lot, but it's not like the Marik we see in BC is treating Rishid very well. Rishid doesn't stand up for himself, either, because he fears reprisal; Marik doesn't trust him so much that it's no longer necessary to play shadow. And could he, really, after Rishid failed so horribly the first time? Keeping Rishid as servant-not-brother defends you from the pain of another betrayal.

So we circle back to Yami Marik, who is all defense mechanism, all hatred. Yami Marik never recovers from anything. He is operating, always, on the delirious, excruciating, hurts-so-bad-you-have-to-laugh concentrated rage of a grade schooler who has just experienced the worst thing he'll ever go through in his entire life, punishing the world around him.

Yami Marik hates his dad, because of course he does; he's the one that did this. He skins him alive, since skin seemed so important to him.

Yami Marik hates Rishid, too. He wants him dead. Really dead. So that regular-Marik can't come back, sure, but that's really an aside. He wants Rishid dead because he's still trying to answer the question. Marik, at first glance, might have let Rishid off the hook, but there's still things unaccounted for, boiling under the surface. And Yami Marik is here because the band-aid is coming off.

#i barely proofread this. its so long. pls take it #that said the actual paper i was writing was on like interstate commerce law regarding pork production #and u don't want to read it #so here's the ishtar dump #meta

158 notes · View notes

summersmithlatinxgyatt · 4 months

Text

GoTron Was Another Summer Best (another Summer yap session)

Let's start with one thing. I felt generous and tried to watch Rickdependence Spray. I turned it off after 10 seconds. In fact, I paused after I saw that horse breeder thing for longer than I watched the intro Tried watching the Thanksgiving episode which was, just fine. Although nothing Summer caught my eye. I did this to finish up Season 5 but it was not worth it

You know WHAT was worth it, though? And what a few of you guys recommended?

'GoTron Jerrysis Rickvangelion'

I now see why this was recommended to me, and by the way it means a lot that most of you guys want me to write about Summer :3

It's almost Summer's episode, focused on her dynamic with Rick too and how it can clash with Morty

(FYI the wiki doesn't have a gallery for this episode I literally will rely on Google for this shit)

Right from the start we see that Summer is basically Rick's right-hand man. I know many people have pointed out (and it's outright said) that Summer is enabling Rick's obsession, which is explained IN the episode and something I'll return to later. Part of this episode is not only her relationship with Rick but with herself. Morty sees this as some sort of sabotage when Rick goes with her opinion and sees Morty as sort of an enemy for not going with what he wanted

She not only LITERALLY becomes a right-hand to the GoTron itself but oversees these Rick meetings instead of just hanging out with the other Summers. I mentioned the fact that Summer holds family in such a high regard. Whether or not they did this because this was also a Goodfellas parody, any good parody utilizes its characters purposefully, so I think it still works. There's also several lines where Summer talks about keeping the family close, and considering the blog I wrote about Rickmancing the Stone that mentions her being the glue that keeps the family together...yeah. When I say she's consistent and has a clear arc, it's because I managed to break her down and see the same attributes pop up here explicitly

Rick congratulates Summer for being the one reason he's even doing this GoTron shit and calls her a queen (queef first tho). Considering Season 7 where he says Summer reminds him of Diane, every time he cherishes Summer it's very genuine and because of how special and important she is to him

I know that the plot was hinging on Morty pointing out Summer being a negative influence but I still understood what she was going for. If my points sound hollow, it's because from now on I don't want to sound like a broken record whenever I mention the words 'Family' and 'Summer'

Like I said I was not a fan of Naruto and the fact that this show says the phrase 'giant incest space baby' more than once, which no show should ever do. But when Summer talks about how lonely she feels, it felt fitting. Sure, it's a...gross incest baby, but Summer felt basic motherly instincts kick on. She also wanted him to escape from there because she knows about the literal feeling of being cooped up. Like...how often does Summer go out?

With whatever friends she has she usually just stays inside. I am writing this AS I'M COOPED UP INSIDE AS PER USUAL I'D KILL SOMEONE TO GO OUT. The point being that avoiding this is something she actively does. That's why she was surprised her mom didn't originally want to use the GoTron Ferrets and why she kept enabling Rick. It's not an agenda, she just wants to bond more and go out more

However, I want to know - does this contradict 'Big Trouble in Little Sanchez'? I bring this up because it's an episode where they're supposed to be bonding and Summer is rational enough to know Rick is being harmed, yet everyone hates her for it. Why didn't Summer stop enabling Rick if it meant he would've been obsessed further? In that episode, it quite literally was killing Rick. Here, different universe versions of the Smith family come together as if to emphasize the point further. The actual issues were ones that Summer weren't aware of, but I just bring this up because no, this doesn't contradict any earlier episodes. Plus, Summer is obviously changing

Also, Summer's speech was fucking amazing. She mentions how lonely she feels in her OWN FAMILY because she has no one and went with Naruto, which is also temporary. She'll take any chance to bond with anyone

To wrap this up - Summer's place in this episode IS the crux of the plot. The family is brought together in more ways than one, with the robots and alternate universes coming together. This also makes sense with Rick having Morty and Beth having Jerry 'naturally', so to speak. If these people have each other, who does Summer have?

Her family

And even if she doesn't have ONE person to always fall back on (as she tends to be around Rick AND Morty), she'll be the one that chooses to keep everyone together. What I said in 'Rickmancing the Stone' and the trilogy I analyzed was true, Summer is the glue that keeps the family together

oh also im gonna be making a blog on the voiceovarians and a theory on Night Summer so keep an eye out for that guys

Thanks for reading!! <3

#rick and morty #summer smith #summer #hyperfixation #headcanon #character exploration #character analysis #summer smith is the best character #summer smith analysis

14 notes · View notes

theworldinclines · 1 year

Text

reasons i think ben is a sus ass evil ass bitch!

music club

ben is the one to invite nueng to the ballroom dance club, bc he has noted that nueng likes to play piano, and he pressures nueng to agree to be in the club both in person and over text. nueng’s joining the club would be helpful to an insidious agenda bc it would ensure that ben - and by extension whoever he’s working with - will know nueng’s specific whereabouts on whatever day and time the club meets, however many times a week. im not saying it’s definitely a dead giveaway as to why nueng is attacked at the club next week ep4 bc palmnueng very well may just be followed from school or home, but it does seem suspicious and so as usual i stand by my theory until proven unmistakably incorrect fdkjhjk

brown nosing bitch

ben sure seems to want answers to shit that is none of his business ! he doesn’t know nuengdiao well and you can chalk some of it up to him just wanting to get to know his crush but of course anything can be creepy if u want to see it that way and- actually u know what hes just creepy ok i dont even have a choice BUT to see it that way tbh! he asks what relationship nueng and palm have, he fuckin asks if they live together based on the more than generous leap of ‘i saw him get in your car’ ??? ok so you can’t imagine that idk nueng was giving palm a ride home bc they live near each other? nah you just need to ask if they live together bc you already have your suspicions about who palm is, you just need to be sure sooner rather than later, especially when it comes to the protection nueng has at home.

insistent for no reason

like i said, he pushes nueng into joining the music club - i didn’t even mention that it’s officially a ballroom dance club, it isn’t even a music club! every scene we’ve had there thus far has shown people explicitly dancing or sitting to talk at the bar! nueng plays piano a couple times, sure, but that isn’t the club’s purpose. so: ben lied bc he knew a music club would be more enticing to someone who just wants a place to play his instrument.

and while at the club, ben approaches palm completely unprompted even tho he saw very well in their introduction to each other that palm is completely Against him being around nueng. he insists that nueng needs space and palm should basically fuck off bc it’s totally ridiculous to think that anyone could be planning to kill nuengdiao, as tho ben, a random high schooler, could possibly guess what the plans of however many hitmen are at work???? like he’s some authority when he’s literally just some guy with a mouth he likes to run off?? and with the most liar ass smirk on his face he says that he isn’t going to hurt nueng, and palm better get used to having him around. ok. palm’s utter hatred for this guy is so fucking funny it sends me like he isn’t having it AT ALL i get to live out my ben distrust through palm <3

defensive for no reason

i daresay ben is defensive in a way that makes zero sense to me. first, nueng asks what he wants from him and ben acts like his very character is being assassinated, as tho he as mr class president isn’t completely aware of the recent uptick in bullying that nuengdiao’s faced. like nueng asking someone he doesn’t know this question is somehow a personal attack on ben. congratulations, you’ve made yourself seem like the defenseless and harmless victim cough i mean Nice Guy! if he really cared about nuengdiao and developing their friendship/relationship, ben would see it from his perspective that nueng has every single right to be cautious - his dad was FUCKING SHOT TO DEATH in front of him like less than 3 months ago????

but instead he acts like nueng is trying to be an asshole without cause, manipulates him into feeling guilty about that, and makes nueng reach out to him bc of that guilt, successfully setting off their entire relationship from that point bc he’s apparently gained nueng’s trust from a frankly transparent .10 second Commitment To His Bit.

THEN when the same happens with chopper asking ben’s intentions with nueng, ben pulls the SAME SHIT - instead of understanding chopper’s concern for his cousin’s well-being?? after chopper watched his cousin suffer terribly from the murder of his father and chopper’s uncle???? ben acts like chopper is completely out of line, blaming HIM for their friendship falling apart cough GUILT, and storms off, and - in parallel to nueng reaching for ben’s wrist and holding it, bc that’s what ben WANTED to happen - chopper half reaches out for ben but doesn’t touch him. ok.

possessive

ben is weirdly fucking possessive/familiar for someone who barely knows nuengdiao, which to me is a massive red flag just in general. he takes out his earbud without permission and gets in nueng’s space, he glares at palm with that gross smirk like he has any right to do so, and twice in the same ep2 he puts a hand to nueng’s shoulder with that unnecessary lingering hold that makes my skin crawl. he plays like he’s harmless dancing around being goofy but it wasn’t just cringe to me; it felt SO FORCED and maybe im accidentally destroying chimon’s acting w this post but hflkjd i can’t help but feel like this man is BAD FUCKING NEWS. he is a FAKE. i would say that palm has really good instincts and that’s why he immediately dislikes ben, but he doesn’t seem to notice anything off about phum, while nueng DOES notice phum is off and does something about it. we see a similar thing when he asks chopper about ben, which brings us to nueng asking chopper’s opinion ep4.

what the fuck is up w benchopper

"he’s nice, he’s talented, so everyone loves him.” RED FLLLAAGGGGG. this IMMEDIATELY set off sirens in my head to translate to he ACTS nice with everyone, he’s talented in everything, so everyone loves him - ie ben is a fantastic actor, as we see when he manipulates nueng through guilt and by acting as someone who wants to be close to him with no mal-intentions. he’s the class president, but he sees the way students bully nuengdiao and does nothing with whatever so called popularity influence he has, not even to talk to the guys and see what’s up? chopper and ben used to be close in first year (10th grade) but different interests had them grow apart, which seems fair enough until chopper warns nueng not to get close to ben bc “ben can’t stay close to someone for very long.” when nueng asks him to explain chopper plays it off with a laugh and a “you’ll know after spending time together :)” like HUH???? GIRL WHAT DOES THAT MEAN U OMINOUS BITCH? did ben try it on with chopper and then saw more potential for gains by moving on to nueng bc of his position in the family? and next week we’ll apparently see chopper even giving advice to ben about admitting his feelings to nueng? so they aren’t close and ben snapped at chopper about being (un)fairly suspicious about his intentions with nueng, but they’re close enough again like some minuscule amount of time later that chopper can offer love advice. alright that makes SO much sense ben is a good guy after all :D

anyway ghjkfk pls feel free to add on to this w ur own ideas/things you’ve noticed and i may or may not do the same when new eps come out. if we get to the finale and ben really is just some guy with a crush i will be truly FLOORED but ig we’ll see lmaofdhkjghldfjk

#just everything ben does skeeves me out i cant help it hdfkjdhlk #i love a community coming together to roast and theorise on slimy characters #hfdkjhgdkj my fave <3 #so pls do!!#nlmg theories #never let me go #nlmg spoilers #ben #nuengben #benchopper #never let me go series #my writing

52 notes · View notes

jojotichakorn · 6 months

Note

Hello Archer. Thank you so much for your detailed response to my previous ask about Ray and Sand and people’s unwillingness to read their relationship as anything other than “Rich boy Ray wants to buy Poor boy Sand” because of a previous interaction they had in the early episodes, when clearly things have changed for them. It’s weird that the same people who recognize the growth of the other characters don’t seem to want to acknowledge Ray’s growth, or like you said, that Sand also has his own flaws that he needs to work on. The whole point of the show is that nobody is actually perfect (except maybe Daddy Dan 😏), and it really irks me that a lot of people seem to ignore that. The glee they have about Sand’s mum admitting to Sand’s weakness for those he loves, and his willingness to bend over backwards for them. Which makes no sense to me cuz it just confirms how much Sand loves Ray that he falls within that category of people Sand would do anything for 🤷🏾‍♀️

Sorry for my long rambling ask. I wanted to ask a follow up question about how you read Ray’s facial expressions in the pool. Cuz I interpreted it as Ray’s Imma kill a bitch and bury his body and glasses in a ditch no one’s gonna find. EVER!!! But then again, I do get slightly bloodthirsty and very protective of the people I love, specially against asshole exes who can’t even be bothered to know what concert they were taken to 🙄

heeey!! yeah, no problem, i love rambly asks and being even ramblier when i respond to them gjlkdfjgfkdljg two years ago that was practically the only thing i did here

i personally think people love to percieve everything as black-and-white, but when we talk about personalities nothing is an either or situation. it seems that some people think that just because sand can have a hard time establishing boundaries, it somehow means that he cannot establish a single boundary to save his life and basically everyone in his life is forcing themselves on him because of that. let's throw complexities and nuance and grey areas out of the window and have a cardboard cut-out no-boundaries-at-all man! as if we have not seen sand explicitly establishing boundaries with ray multiple times. truly, sometimes i feel like i'm watching a different series in comparison to other people.

now, as for your question, i do have to preface this by saying that i am not the biggest facial expressions guy (see: autism), but i will do my best!

i do think that ray is fueled - in part - by jealousy, when he invites boeing to his house. sand previously said that ray did not need to be jealous, but ehhh... objectively speaking, sand and boeing's current dynamic isn't exactly nothing to worry about. say what you will about jealosy, but when your boyfriend meets his ex and tells you to go home without him and then you overhear a conversation with him basically agreeing that you aren't exactly his type, unlike his ex, who is now explicitly trying to get him back, all of that is pretty perfect breeding ground for jealousy.

but by creating this little trio situation, i think ray is first and foremost trying to figure out what is actually happening, because clearly when sand said everything was fine - that was just not true (obvious to the audience by the face sand pulls right at the end of the "should i be jealous?" scene as well) and sand also kind of didn't give them the opportunity to talk about it when ray actually met boeing and saw how things were (which they could have done in the car if he agreed to ray giving him a lift).

so, when ray is initially looking at sand in the pool →

i think he's trying to understand how sand feels about the whole situation and he is really trying to push his buttons as well. get some sort of a reaction out of him. because he really did go from being smiley and animated with ray the whole episode to an instant 😶 at absolutely anything and everything the second boeing stepped in and in theory there are a lot of reasons why that could have happened - ranging from sand still being in love with boeing to him being uncomfortable around boeing but not being able to do anything about it and everything in-between. and ray is trying to figure out exactly what it is.

with boeing however →

yeah, i'm pretty sure my man is ready to kill and maim. with sand, he is trying to create a situation where everything comes to a head (not in the fun way, get your mind out of the gutter), which would establish what's actually going on, but with boeing? yeah, that man is a red flag bigger than the one hanging on the turkish parliament building and feels instantly slimier than even top did at the beginning of the series. it's fun to like him as the unhinged menace that he is from a viewer's perspective, but he is obviously fucking awful to actually encounter in life, especially as your boyfriend's ex. and i do think that it is not unfair to say that ray picked up on what we all did - that boeing doesn't actually care about sand and never did. he can't even remember the concert they went to together! so this isn't just about jealousy or figuring out the truth, but also about the simple fact that boeing sucks (once again, not in a fun way - seriously, get your mind out of the gutter).

#yes i slid in two sucking dick jokes into this post. what are you gonna do? arrest me?#also btw yeah dan is indeed perfect *dreamy sigh*#i dub thee #ofts anon #archer responds

4 notes · View notes

aroaceleovaldez · 2 years

Note

*sobs* do you think there's any chance of Jason returning as minor god?

Realistically? No, and i do think narrative-wise that’d be a lame cop-out. That’s too easy and too deus ex machina. Personally I don’t necessarily want Jason to be revived in any form in-canon, not because I dislike his character or anything (I love Jason and also I know if I said i disliked Jason, my friend would disown me- /j) but because narrative consequence in the Riordanverse has been thoroughly eradicated. It does not exist and no consequence in the Riordanverse feels permanent anymore. I entirely blame HoO for that and surprisingly that has nothing to do with the Doors of Death, it has to do with the like two times Jason NEARLY DIED in HoO only to magically get better, and Leo’s potion of Just Don’t Die.

HOWEVER. however.

In terms of fan-work in which Jason is brought back, we have OPTIONS, PEOPLE! Jason being posthumously deified feels kind of... lame? To me? No offense, it’s just extremely simple. We have multiple instances where we can have a significantly cooler adventure to bring back Jason which is significantly more narratively compelling, because it feels like there is work going into his return. It’s not just a hand-wave thing, there’s effort to it that is rewarded.

I have two options that I think work best in terms of how we’re told the Riordanverse functions that I think would be good, fun, interesting options (also neither of them are the Orpheus route i’m SORRY it just wouldn’t work with how we know revival works in their universe):

Option A.) Jason becomes an einherjar and his friends have to basically go bust him out of Valhalla. It’s funny! It’s quirky! It’s a crossover! It also makes logical sense - in particular based on how Jason’s death is described, actually. He dies heroically, weapon in hand, and also there is a flying horse. We know einherjar do not have to be demigods, and it’s implied they don’t have to be Norse demigods. They can be anyone. Imagine how just purely silly and feel-good it’d be for the Argo 2 Crew to reunite with Jason trying to break him out of Hotel Valhalla while the Death Sibs are muttering under breath about what a mess this is going to be for their dad.

Option B.) “A soul for a soul.” We’re introduced to this revival trade system in BoTL and LITERALLY NOTHING IS EVER DONE WITH IT AND I’M SO MAD ABOUT THAT. It’s the entire driving motivation for Nico for the majority of BoTL and it’s just DROPPED! We KNOW it’s a legitimate thing because we’re EXPLICITLY TOLD that Minos was going to use it to revive himself! But Nico banished him before he could! Even if it’s like a Ghost King Exclusive thing, Nico is the Ghost King now! NICO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT!!! Heck, we even know Nico explicitly attempted it before in BoTL, but it didn’t work because he specifically isn’t allowed to trade his own soul (because he is a son of Hades)! There’s not even the excuse that there was in BoTL that Nico is against murder because by BoO Nico has changed his mind and it’s totally down for some justified murder! In fact, will actively do it himself!! Give me a plot about Nico trading a soul to bring back Jason’s! And the weirdness that arises from that and Jason grappling with “Damn, Nico definitely 100% totally killed a guy just to bring me back!” That’s an interesting narrative that is entirely within the realm of established canon mechanics! And is in fact a Very Simple Mechanic, actually! You can’t even say “Nico wouldn’t do that because he’s since learned the importance of the balance of life and death and that reviving people for selfish reasons is bad” because he revived Hazel!! The only reason he was grumpy at Leo was because Leo made everyone else upset by faking his death, not because he cheated death! He’s a kid! He is absolutely going to act selfishly and revive his friend! Please I want some acknowledgement of this mechanic again in literally any form-!!!

#pjo #percy jackson #jason grace #toa spoilers #ask #anonymous

38 notes · View notes

kucherovv · 7 months

Text

ok very long situationship discussion under cut bc i slept over last night and Ermm im processing it now

sooo it was pretty nice for the most part Like. idk when im JUST hanging out with them its very good. like laying in bed together is pretty much the only time its good

we hung out w our mutual rlly close friend and. idk if ivs said this but at some point there was another girl which is. fine because we're not dating or exclusive in any way (like, explicitly not exclusive) but it does make me want to kill myself. anyways we were talking about said other girl and there were hints that there might be a THIRD one but i genuinely dont think so bc situationship literally cannot leave their room rn bc of [mental health reasons i cant get into]

like i dont want to be naive but. yeah i think it was just something in the past bc they have always mentioned other people as friends at least and they only ever hang out w me and the aforementioned close friend. like they dont even see the other girl anymore

anyways also our friend was pointing out how situationship was IN A SITUATIONSHIP with someone else last fall semester before i rlly met them and wanted to start dating but the girl didn't want to and it like devastated them. almost like what is happening to me rn. and they were like "well let's not talk abt that because it gets too close to uncomfortable self reflection" ok

theyve told me before that like. they want people to be obsessed with them (hence the fucking around) but not obsessed in the way that people are when theyre dating. BUT after a break up the other person should continue to be obsessed with them. like theyre scared of the commitment or vulnerability or whatever that comes from reciprocity. its so weird i just dont understand how their brain works!

its just like. how can you expect people to give you attention the way that you want them to if you treat them like this.

also our friend was like "i would rather you guys stop entirely or date but i cant stand this in between" like YOU cant stand it IMAGINE HOW I FEEL LOL. ok anyways. and he also said he told situationship to just stop being involved w anyone which is funny. its so silly when they talk about our relationship like im not there 🥴😐

also its. not like i havent been honest or upfront abt my feelings bc ive told them maybe 50 times how i feel abt them. but its not something im going to push whatever

i was also talking to my hs friend who had a situationship turn into a real relationship and he was like "well are you guys having sex at least bc that makes jt a little better" NO WE'RE NOT!!!! its so weird bc we . basically did when i was visiting them this summer and then havent even kissed since then. silly!!! someone (charlie maybe) said we were slowburn and its like No. we're just regressing

ANYWAYS. i am not pushing or changing anything BECAUSE. they are withdrawing for the semester and going home then coming back in the spring. and going to therapy and meds in the meantime

so. this is very dumb probably but. i hope they get better so we can be in a fr relationship because i think we're very good together. and i think they like me more than the other girl. which sounds so stupid and desperate when u say it out loud but i really. do think they like me the best. and i hope that if they pursue a relationship w someone that its me .

ok typing that out makes it seem insane um. but yeah whatever fuckk me i guess

#situationship posting

2 notes · View notes

bsaka7 · 9 months

Note

15, 19, 28 for the book asks? 🫶🏼🫶🏼

confession yi i can't see any of these emojis but i trust that they r lovely. thank u! also oh goodness gracious this is really very long but I don't believe in editing so. under the cut

15. an underrated book?

the only ppl i rlly talk about books with r like 2 friends and my college advisor, and though i do read the occasional review in larb or the new yorker i truly have very little sense of what is overrated or underrated. unless we're talking about the books that get big on tumblr which for the most part are all overrated so in my opinion many things r underrated on THIS website. ok. I guess I'll say Terry Pratchett because I love Terry Pratchett even though I don't really think he's underrated, maybe just people write him off bc of genre or just because they haven't heard of him. The last book I read by him was Pyramids, which I liked. Next up (well, I'm like half through, I just don't like reading on my ereader when I can read a real book so it's sort of on the back burner) is The Truth, which I think might end up being one of my favorites...

19. a book u came across randomly but ended up loving it?

I have very little true strategy for picking up books. Most I read are off recommendation or random recognition or something I've been given or something that I just pick up at the library. And I "love" very few books because I can't help but complain about everything I read. This isn't super random as R. F Kuang had been on my list for ages, but I wasn't exactly planning to read it, but I did recently pick up Babel which I found very good. I think it's rare to read a book with the sort of political argument that it's making so well articulated within such an excellent and compelling story. I really love fantasy and sort of hard magic systems so that really worked for me - especially in how the story, this system of silverworking is explicitly imperialist etc and used to so clearly illustrate the real effects of colonialism and imperial power. I also just found the book extremely readable. As @gokartkid said to me several times, you can feel just how much Kuang loves the institutions of academia she's been a part of (there were some delightful moments of just. yeah. That was school. I especially enjoyed the casual academic talk, but well. You guys know me.), and at the same time is leveling this heavy, heavy indictment of the role of the academy in empire. I kept saying as well - oh, I can see what literature she's engaging with, that the characters are engaging with (and I'm certainly not the most well read), which delighted me. I suppose this will do well enough as an answer.

28. the last book u read? did u like it?

The last book I read was Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann. I actually wanted to pick up his newer book which I think is about a mutiny and the ensuing court case, but one of the ladies at the library told me this book was better and I should read it first. I think it convinced me not to read that other one. This book was somewhere between pop history and true crime, which frustrated me. The subtitle is "The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI," the latter of which I found to be an unconvincing argument throughout his work and left me continually frustrated. That being said, I had basically no knowledge about the Osage murders, and some of the research and answers he was able to find in the archives were certainly deeply meaningful. It was just - I thought the framing lost the heart of the story by focusing on the investigation over the community after the first couple chapters, and I found his emphasis on the "scientific" aspects of criminology deeply frustrating. I found his argument that this led to the birth of a respected, institutionalized FBI uncompelling. It felt a bit like he had too much to say. It was very readable and an important story in American history - hundreds of Osage were killed in a corruption scheme by their white, legally appointed, "guardians," and only a few of the murders were ever solved. I'm not unhappy I read it, despite my numerous criticisms (and there's probably many more beyond this). I might go read Mean Spirit by Linda Hogan, which is fiction about the same event, sometime in the future. I liked her novel People of the Whale, which someone on here recommended to me as "magical realism," a denotement I had qualms with in relation to the specific book, but like I said - it was good.

#Ask game #Ask #Sorry. I read. Kind of a lot #And I have a lot of. Opinions #They r not as good in writing as out of my. Mouth

5 notes · View notes

tokiro07 · 1 year

Note

Okay, that actually sounds pretty cool from what I assumed the premise was. Just to be clear, is the guy actually likable, as in is he someone you actually believe a bunch of people would want to date?

(Also, as a side note, have you ever heard of Komi san can't communicate? It is really cute and funny. That summary reminded me of some parts of it.)

Rentarou is simultaneously the sweetest boy who ever lived and an unhinged raging lunatic, but it is a gag manga, so that's pretty par for the course

The mechanism for discovering a soulmate is the same as in Hotel Transylvania: when you make eye contact with the soulmate, you get a sensation through your body that alerts you that this is the perfect partner for you. At first, this seems like it will make it easy to amass the harem since they have love for the protagonist baked in

However! Like I said before, they all have certain hangups that prevent such simple plot progression

For example, the fourth girl, Nano Eiai, is an intellectual, who views romance as a distraction from her studies. She makes an active effort to refuse all of Rentarou's advances despite the fact that she feels overwhelmingly attracted to him, and ultimately only decides to give him a chance because she can't focus on her studies. I won't spoil how Rentarou proves to her that love wouldn't be a frivolous distraction, but by the end it's really easy to understand why she would want to be with him; he understands her on a level that she didn't think possible, he respects her autonomy even when the decisions she makes are painful for him, and he actively tries to make her happy

Rentarou is such a loving and devoted boyfriend that it seems absurd that 100 girls rejected him previously, and it's even stated that the only reason they did was because all of his love luck was used up on his soulmates, leaving only bad love luck for all of his other potential relationships. The first girl we see reject him actually lists all of his great qualities and why he would make a good boyfriend, she's just repulsed by the idea of personally dating him specifically

Like I said though, he's a monster of a human being: if someone upsets one of his girlfriends, he's absolutely willing to outright kill them if necessary (though obviously it never comes to that); there's one point where he gets so angry that he lifts up two shopping carts and starts swinging them around like clubs to ward off some street toughs

This is a man who will stay up all night every night for a week to create a text-to-speech app centered around one specific book so his non-verbal girlfriend who usually just flips to quotes she wants to use to communicate can actually be heard without needing to force herself to speak (like Komi, with extra steps)

This is a man who will down unknown experimental drugs without a second thought so that he might be able to literally take a bullet for a man who explicitly hates him for dating his daughter

This is a man who will go to school in only a Speedo because his girlfriend's horoscope said that she might die if she didn't have her lucky item, a school-issued swimsuit with her throughout the entire day

I guess I should also point out that there are...fantastical elements, like one of his girlfriends basically being Doraemon but with drugs instead of technology. I'd say about half of the series' non-girlfriend-specific incidents are related to her drugs, like the time she knocks everyone's souls out of their bodies and causes them to switch bodies, or the time she turns everyone into babies, or the time she turns all of the girls into kissing zombies, or the time that she causes one of the girlfriends to infinitely grow their hair to the point that it threatens to literally envelop the entire world

I should also probably mention that some of the girls are older than him, the upper end being pushing 90 as a parody of the immortal loli trope, and one of the girls is his cousin, but ostensibly that's not taboo in Japan, just kind of uncomfortable

A lot of the girls, including the adult ones, do explicitly mention wanting to have sex, but Rentarou himself is a good boy who won't allow any funny business until all parties are the proper age, so the joke is less that the girls are horny and more that Rentarou finds fun ways to thwart the horniness

There probably isn't a good way to word this, but the fanservice, age gaps, and incest that are present are all very tame and ultimately just gags. I can see them being deal breakers for people, but the relationships between Rentarou and his girlfriends and even among the girls themselves are wholesome and fun, so I think it's worth giving it a try

Also yes, I read Komi-san, if that wasn't clear from referencing her earlier, I could see Tadano and Rentarou getting along very well. In fact, if the school in Komi-san only allows students with extreme and eccentric personalities, every single 100GFs character would fit right in

#100 girlfriends

5 notes · View notes

astroboyanalysis · 4 months

Text

2. The Hot Dog Corps

I've always thought this was one of many Astro Boy stories that would lend itself very well to a more serious and adult remake, (a la Pluto) but this one with a distinct horror vibe. You know. On account of the body horror.

Atom (smiling serenely): wow Mr. Tezuka you're getting really angry can we change the subject

Anyway obviously he makes a good point here. Could talk for a while about cultural double standards especially when animals like dogs and cats are involved. But like, this is an explicitly sympathetic story to the dog and animal testing is a thing we do. So I feel like it should have been allowed to show but I do understand different countries have different standards surrounding what is deemed "appropriate" for children to think about and see. America's just very strange in general to be honest.

Wow that's awesome Mr Ban. I do not want to dog sit for you ever btw.

First really funny gag so far imo. You go Kenichi have a dog treat.

Okay this is interesting to me and probably no one else. Tezuka put little gags in like this if he thought it was getting too serious, which is fine and normal - but it's been less than a page since the last gag. People say we have short attention spans now (and we do) but entertainment has basically always vied for your attention and had to constantly jump around and dance and say LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! DON'T LOOK AWAY!

anyway I love you hyoutan-tsugi don't listen to him

Ban confirmed in debt (joking. or am i)

normal way to act yeah. Fuck up this guy's car and probably kill him with fire and then drown him and also steal his dog and be like. Tee hee hee... stupid idiot... hee hee...

Smiling his angelic little smile like "Did you break the law and endanger others mister teacher?"

God hes just so cute. There's gonna be a lot of "ohhhhhhg my god.... ghgh,h,..... oghgh h look a him...." probably. but ohghghghggggg g loook at hi

Excellent use of class time man

Now's probably a great time to mention you'll notice a heavy focus on like school and child development and stuff in my analysis - I'm a student teacher in Elementary! So I think about this kind of thing a lot and it sticks out to me as a result. Anyway.

Great gag. There's some good ones in this story.

Okay because I'm reading it physically but using an online version for images, most online versions stop abruptly right around here so I don't have good pictures. I'm sorry in advance for the wonky pictures I took.

Idk grand duchess it kind of seems like your fault because you decided to kidnap dogs instead of just having someone train them for you at your bigass winter palace or whatever the hell.

I love how evil things are here. You just dont get cartoonishly evil villains nowadays (because I don't watch kids TV all that much I suppose. But also there's a general trend toward movies and shows without cartoonishly evil villains that I've noticed which is interesting. Suits reality a little better since most people won't be like YOU SEE! I'VE DONE IT SO I CAN KILL AND MURDER! MUAHAHAHA! when you ask them about their motivations in doing something.)

HOLY SHIT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THE SHIP THEY BLEW UP I get that this is the point but I don't think I ever noticed that before lmao.

Oh hes so cute.....

This is strange as their minds are dog minds and therefore they probably shouldn't have robotic movements. A keen observer like Atom should be able to recognize that they're not all that organized when compared with robotic timing.

"Aren't supposed to be able to" just indicates to me that it's a limitation imposed by creators to align themselves with the laws of robotics and avoid getting in trouble, which I would think would also mean people could make robots that can kill and there's really no reason they wouldn't be able to do that. That said it would be very strange for the story if robots really could be used as weapons as easily as they can in real life. But unless you categorize a machine and a robot differently based on their AI and self determination, I would think it is easier for a robot to kill humans as they don't have to take it into account at all if they aren't programmed to.

That said, in the world of Astro Boy, the laws of robotics are absolute and people do not really break them. They just do an insane workaround loophole like. I dunno. Putting dog brains and nervous systems into robot bodies. Shit like that. I suppose if they were laws that could be broken, that would be really interesting though. It would be like something the United Nations has agreed on so a country caught doing something against it would be refused trade and that kind of thing. So they'd have to be sneaky.

I'm getting off topic.

Okay so there are human workers in the fortress, but all the guard members are cyborgs.

(Annoying guy voice) BUT I THOUGHT HE ONLY LISTENED TO BAN!!!!!!

strong contender for funniest panel so far

REALLY good way to show 2 days have passed this is awesome

To be honest it makes sense to me that a traumatic surgery and event like having your nervous system and brain stripped out and put into a new shape and new environment and shit would make you forget most things. Really sad.

actually devastating im not kidding

Ok yea sure. Literally why though. Atom you do it because you're the main character I guess. This is where I really appreciate Pluto's realism in that Atom is used more as a figurehead and symbol of peace than like. a functionally useful substitute for specialized jobs.

Then again because he's recalling where it was in the next panels, it's possible this is more a result of not having functional and immediate satellite imaging at the time this comic was being written, so you would need someone who knew where they were going to lead you there.

This would indicate to me that there is a temperature Atom's circuitry is not able to function at due to it being too low, but Space is colder than this so I think that is not the case (or we can say it's not the case that space is cold in this universe). Anyway it's slightly less horrifying than him potentially being trapped in ice and aware of the passage of time and fully cognizant so I do see why Tezuka did this.

Also he's shapes.

(The rest of this post will be continued in a reblog as you can only have 30 images per post)

#astro boy #mighty atom #tetsuwan atom #completely forgot how LONG hot dog corps is god DAMN that is a long story #i thought it was gonna be a 1 sitting run through but it really was not #I should have split this up by the sub chapters. Oh well!

14 notes · View notes

perpetual-fool · 1 year

Text

Mara 1

(3.8k)

I give a brief knock and crack the door open, waiting for an objection in case she doesn't want to be disturbed. After a moment I peek inside. Clothes are strewn about and a sweet scent fills the air. She sits at her desk, sketching something on a tablet. "Hey, Mara?" "mhm?" "You wanted me to come to you if I needed help with things, right?" "Of course! come in, tell me all about it." I close the door behind me and sit down on the floor by her chair, resting my head against her. "Is this really okay? Am I bothering you?" "It's fine, love. If it starts bothering me, I'll tell you, and we can discuss it." "Thanks." "So what's on your mind?" she asks. "I'm not entirely sure." I say. "I'm feeling kind of horrible in general, and I'm getting a lot of the 'you should fucking kill yourself' thoughts today." "Those are usually triggered by something, right? Can you try to recall?" "It's pretty broad. There's a lot of saying things people didn't like, but they never told me anything was wrong, or why it was wrong. Except for one or two, were what they told me just didn't make any sense. And I'm feeling really bad about reaching out to, you know. I was naive, shared basically anything, and now I feel worse about the little things I feel bad about. It's like people expect me to know what they want, or to grow as a person, if I'm being generous. But at the same time they actively starve me of information. FUCKING.." I catch myself as I start to tense up. "Yeah, that's about right, apparently." "Well," she ponders, "outliers can be illuminating. What happened those one or two times?" "Hm, one of them, a guy took offense to me saying 'you people', referring to the 'everyone who isn't me' group, essentially. I was completely lost as to why, when I asked he said he'd already told me and I just ignored it. When I pressed him further, he said it was because he didn't want to be compared to neurotypicals, I think it was. I tried to confirm, asking whether I shouldn't do so even if it was accurate, and he wouldn't tell me." "Could he have thought that was a comparison in itself?" "I mean, I wouldn't know, I don't have the slightest idea what other people think. But maybe? Would that be like, admitting there could be a comparison is a comparison?" "It's not impossible. But then, it's not like I understand people any better than you do." she says. "How about, what if he took that to mean you were insinuating that the comparison you just made was true?" "I mean, it was, but that's not the point. If he was going to take offense to something like 'all you humans with your skin', then how was I supposed to know? I could have accommodated him if he just fucking explained it. But, this does sound like the issue. I've had a few people insist that I'm implying things, a couple of them even insisting that I'm doing it regardless of whether I intend to. And it always sort of, suddenly turns into gibberish." "Implying without intending.. maybe like asking someone 'when's the baby due?' when they're not pregnant?" "Yeah I guess." "Wouldn't that mean they are actually fat?" "I don't want to say 'yes', but think it would have to." "Then maybe you're just running afoul of their insecurities. And maybe they are so transparent to you that you don't even see what there is to be insecure about." "That's far too generous, Mara." "You don't know that." "I guess I don't. But why wouldn't they just tell me?" "Maybe they thought you already knew, of thought that they did tell you." "I have explicitly told people I don't know, and asked what they meant when they accused me of implying something. So that doesn't seem likely. And clearly the one guy thought he did explain it, but how could he think that when he directly refused to clarify anything?" "You're assuming human behavior makes sense?" "Well, I have to. Otherwise there's nothing to consider. And it's not like the brain is constantly scrambling its connections. probably." "Hey Ari, I know it's difficult to consider this, but you know other people can be wrong, right?" "..Let's just say that I do." "Okay, so do you remember you were telling me about that time in college, they had this model of communication that you thought was missing each person's idea of what the other was thinking?" "Yeah." "What if that's actually what people think is going on?" "That would mean.." I consider, "that people think if you heard them at all, then you know exactly what they meant. And that if they can parse what you say at all, then they assume they know exactly what you meant." "Would that fit?" "Firstly, to phrase that a little more concisely, it's that people assume they're on the same page. Or that there is only one page, whichever. They're one-pagers, one-paging." "M'kay." "That would very much fit their behavior. Even Cat's direct invalidation as 'disagreeing'. God, even my dissatisfaction with games. Like, there was one, 4d minecraft. People were saying it hurt their brain or something, but it was boring to me, it was just regular minecraft but slightly more. Anyway. Gimme a sec to see if I can find something that doesn't fit." "Sure." "..No, I can't think of a single instance where someone was like 'wait a minute, this doesn't make sense, what do you mean by..' And not for lack of trying, jesus. I've tried to get that across to people so much. I don't like this, Mara. This is bad." "I know, I'm here." She reaches over and holds my head.

She asks, "..What do you want to do?"

"Please just tell me what to do." I plead. "Isn't that how you got here?" she says. "Your whole life people dragging you around, forcing you to be something you're not." "Well maybe they were right. Maybe I should just, not be me. Maybe I should be a little fuckin' robot, or a glorified calculator. I'd be good at that, ya' know. Maybe I should spend every Sunday begging for forgiveness from a glorified storm god who's somehow infinitely loving but also infinitely vengeful." "And then they pushed you into a larger world, forced you to make your own decisions, build your own understanding, and you had nothing to stand on." "Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe they should've pushed me into some menial job instead of college." "You know they couldn't have held you down forever. You're too curious. And it was already suffocating. You were holding out since elementary, weren't you? running on the hope that later things would make sense. You were going to fall to pieces after high school no matter what." "..They took my whole life from me." "Maybe you should take it back." "What, with all the nothing that I have?" "Well, what could you have had, had things gone differently?" she asks. "A genuine understanding of how things work. Skills. Some means of making money. But I can't take back my childhood. I can't go back and have a carefree life, a whole world to discover, and a body that isn't falling apart. Hah, and I'd say I can't go back and be a foolish teen and awkward relationships something something, but that was never going to happen." "You can still learn how things work, and develop skills. Hypothetically you could even make money selling do-dads on the internet. And was life really ever carefree? The world is still out there isn't it? And it's not like you need a walker yet." "That's a lot, point by point?" "Sure." she says. "Learning is just so fucking hard. There's so much garbage information, and no structure. I don't even know where to begin, or what to begin on." "To be fair, wasn't school all horseshit anyway? Like, what they teach early on is basically just all wrong. And absolutely none of it was applicable, save for math." "I suppose, yeah. I'd be relearning it all anyway." "And you aren't wanting to learn to accomplish anything specific, right? it's just for understanding's sake?" "Yeah." "Then it doesn't matter where you start, or how you go about it. Just find something that grabs you and read up on it. Six Easy Pieces maybe?" "Alright, that makes sense." "Next, what's the problem with skills?" "An overwhelming amount or worthless or misleading noise about things. No one addressing basics like how to saw in a straight line, not really." "Was school any different?" "Hm, kind of. My point of reference would be that community college cooking class. The only thing I really took from that was basic knife skills. Which weren't very good. I basically had to explore the whole thing myself anyway, but it did get me started." "Why couldn't you have started on your own?" she asks. "I guess I just hadn't had reason to yet." I say. "Hey, I'm tired and I don't wanna go to bed feeling terrible, can you just give me the highlights?" "Sure thing, love. You can start skills on your own, you could sell whatever you're doing with those skills, childhood had a shitload of expectations, whatever wonder was actually out there is still there, and needing to take meds in the morning isn't going to stop you from going out and doing things." "Yeah okay, that all seems.. sounds right." I say tiredly. "I guess that's not the problem?" "What do you feel is the problem?" "The voices in my head telling me I'm a piece of shit for doing any of it. doing it wrong. And, figurative voices, negative self-talk. Not like, hallucinations." "I could hover over your shoulder and tell you everything is wonderful, if you like." "No, that wouldn't seem genuine. And it's more feelings that trigger it." I say. "Like.. say, there was a short while where I occasionally sent pictures of food I made to someone, which I thought looked good. It seemed appropriate at the ttime. And they didn't respond to it, and I asked whether they cared, and they didn't respond to that either, so I assume they hated me for it. And I'm a ffucking piece of shit for doing that." "And how could someone respond that would make you feel good about your work?" "That's.. hard to imagine. I think maybe, if they just understood what I was doing and had some input, their own ideas. Or had their own work to share." "I could try to give you input, share ideas." "..I don't even know what I think. I need to sleep. Can we pick this up in the morning?" "Of course, love. I'll be here whenever you need me"

- I wake to the smell of fried eggs and coffee hanging in the air. Mara is in the living room, reading a book. I make a cup of tea, and sit next to her while I think things over.

"I think input would help. But the issue is more broad than just, art or whatever." I say. "Like, there was this one instance, I was trying to talk to this girl about whiskey. She said she liked this one brand but couldn't really explain why. So I got some, tried it, and told her my impressions. Which apparently she just found insulting. She just didn't reply. I asked why and she said she didn't think there was anything to say. I explained that she could ask about my experiences and what I do or don't like about things. Which she seemingly agreed to. I told her I prefer bourbon, as even though it's harsh I find it more interesting. And I mentioned this brand I like. But the only thing she said in reply was like 'oh Brand is good.' Just, nothing." "Telling you that she likes that brand is nothing?" "Essentially, yeah. Like, the process would be to build a model of how the other person works, or how the world works. So if you have your impressions of a thing, and you know their impressions of the thing, then you can better understand how the thing works. Hypothetically, in this case that smooth-harsh is also a boring-interesting trade off, maybe. And then you could see why 'bad' stuff exists aside from just cost." "And the other person?" "If you understand how the thing actually is, and you know others' impressions of it, then you can deduce how they must think. Like now I could say, 'if you like Jameson, then you'd probably like Four Roses." I mean, I'm not sure about that, the hobby is too expensive for me to do meaningful testing. But, hypothetically." "And how is this a broader application of 'one-paging'?" "I presume, people think if I've experienced the thing myself, or if they've just told me what they think, then there's nothing else to say. But also, they think their impression is just the way the thing objectively is. There's no need to say 'I like this because..' since if they've told you they liked it, then they already told you that it's good, which is objectively what it is." "Has no one ever said something like 'I can see why you'd like this but I don't'?" "No, that has happened." "Then you haven't proven the point, love." "I mean, the only one I recall hearing that from is Cat, and she's also the one that feels entitled to 'disagree' with me about what my own position is." "Tell me about that." "It was like, I said something like 'I've noticed apparent trend with [group]' and she was like 'You won't convince me that trend happens with [different group]'. And that was after clarifying which group I was referring to. Like, just straight up fucking gaslighting me. I mean, technically maybe not, that might only refer to when someone directly says 'no that didn't happen', and something this insidious doesn't count. They just like, perpetually respond as though I said something I haven't. And I'm starting to believe it, ya' know? That my position must really be what they think it is." "It's okay." she says, taking my hand. "I believe you." "Thanks." I say. "I'll try to.. I don't know. I'll try to accept that." "Does this at least disprove the one-page hypothesis?" "No. I don't think it does. Knowing other people think different things isn't the same as understanding those things. Or, that's not phrased well. That's not the same as knowing people are experiencing different things, and not that they feel differently about the same experience. Maybe that's not phrased well either." "Do you need a minute?" "Yeah, hmm."

"This hurts." "It's okay," she says, squeezing my hand. "I'm here."

"It's like, even when people know they don't understand, they think they understand. Or maybe they just don't fucking give a shit. Like, this a tangent, there was this pseudo-counselor in college. He was asking if I had any friends I talk to, I said no, he kept probing for anyone I talk to, and I told him my sister talks to me a lot. And he was like 'there you go'. Like that's a friend. I fucking hate my sister. So, 'friend' just means anyone who forces themselves on me? and I'm supposed to like that. And I'm supposed to.. I dunno, give them gifts and shit, whatever 'friends' are supposed to do." I pause to gather my thoughts. "Anyway. So.." "You're shaking." "Oh." I take deep breaths and try to calm myself down. "This probably isn't good for my heart." "Do you need to stop?" "It doesn't matter. It's going to be the same thing, either now or later. Aside, maybe I should set up something I can inflict violence on, a punching bag or a pell or something." "Would that help?" "I don't know. I've never tried. But it seems to help when I end up punching the fridge or something. I do end up hurting myself, of course." "Do you want to hurt something? or someone?" "Not really. I mean, I'm not violent, I don't like the idea of hurting anyone. But it's like, when my brother-in-law decides to intrude on my space and inflict 'friendliness' on me, then nothing I say can make him stop. It's like breaking bones is the only thing I can do to get him to FUcking leave me alone. If I just fucking ask he'll be like 'oh, but I'm being friendly'. Like he just has the Ffucking right." "I can leave you alone if you want." "Heh, thanks. Please don't." I lean on her shoulder. "..And understanding is somehow like that?" "Yeah. It's the same can't-get-anything-across thing. If I tell people they don't understand, the vast majority of the time people flatly insist that they do. Even just that, I'd think any sane person would have to reevaluate when they run into contradictory information. And word-of-god no less. They don't even ask what makes me think so, they just force themselves on me, try and force me to believe whatever the fuck they want. And in the guise of agreeing with me, being supportive or whatever. Like I'm not even allowed my own subjective experience. Like there's nothing they won't take. And then they'll make me thank them for it, for the privilege of having my psyche destroyed by them." I pause. "I guess with people I've reached out to, it's more like they're offended that I don't just let them do that. Like I'm a fucking piece of shit for stopping them when they're clearly not getting it." "Maybe I'm giving them too much credit. Maybe they never had any interest in understanding. Maybe this is what they want. Maybe they are all monsters." She squeezes my hand. "Any evidence to the contrary?" "I don't know." I say. "I wouldn't know. My whole life has been this. I have no reason to think any of it was really genuine. It could all be in service of just fucking me up that little bit more." "What would genuine understanding look like?" she asks. "Like, I guess ideally, when I say something they just respond in a way that's congruent. Ya' know, like this. And when something isn't quite right, one of us says 'hey, this isn't right' and we reevaluate. Then ideally that would just be a 'I mean like this, not like that' sort of thing, and then a 'oh, you mean like this?' 'yeah'. And less ideally that could get longer, needing to double check with their own examples. Or longer still, needing to go over base observations and fundamental premises. And everyone I've gone over this with has been like 'no, that sounds like too much work'. Like just doing what's required to accomplish the thing is too much work. As if I'd told them the car needs gassing up occasionally and they're like 'nah, I'll just drive it until it runs out and then abandon it on the side of the road.' And I am the car? I'm not sure where I'm going with that metaphor. It seems to be more like people just throw others away until they find someone who's close enough to them that they don't realize there's a problem." "And what actually happens?" "I notice a problem, tell people 'hey that's not right' and they're like 'yes it is'. Or I'm like 'hey it's like this' and they're like 'okay'. Or I don't get what they mean by something I'm like 'what do you mean by Thing' and they're like 'Thing means Thing'. And if I press them then it's just too much work to describe Thing in any other terms than being Thing, and they already told me that Thing means Thing and I'm just impossible to deal with." "Why haven't you just concluded that they actually are all monsters?" "I'm not sure. Maybe I just don't want to?" "I guess it's that what they do seems relatable sometimes. It's like it almost makes sense but just doesn't connect." "You have an example?" "..I don't know. I'm exhausted." "Do you want to stop for now?" "No. But I don't think I can keep going." "Well, I'll still be here later." "I don't want later, I don't want to keep feeling like this." "Anything I can do to help?" "I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna.. sit here and.. I dunno." "You need to rest sometimes, you know." "Why can't I just finish this first?" "Some problems are just too big for that. And you only have so much energy in a day." "That's stupid." "You're stupid." "I am though." I say, dejected. "I would've solved this by now if I wasn't stupid." "Maybe the problem is bigger than you think. Or maybe it's not what it appears to be, and you've been trying to solve the wrong problem. Or maybe you just don't have all the pieces you need, maybe as of yet it is unsolvable." "Then I'm stupid for not figuring that out." "Then you can't help it. And you'll just have to do the little you can when you have the energy, and rest when you don't." "But I should be able to do this." "Then you don't really think you're stupid, do you?" "..No." "You still need to rest though."

She scoots over and pulls my head down onto her lap. I don't have the strength to object. She's soft. She picks up her book and goes back to reading.

0 notes

lab-trash · 1 year

Text

Villain Arcane

Chapter List

“If they were doing a solo mission, why would they send you? Why not Skylar? I hate to rank us, but Skylar is by far the most powerful, therefore the best choice for a solo mission, especially a recovery.”

“I’m not on a mission,” Oliver responded.

“So you’re just… here?” Chase asked.

Oliver could bend this.

“Marcus found me too,” He said.

“Why would he want you?” Chase asked. “It makes sense for me, I’m the most likely to keep him from dying.”

Oliver froze.

“What?” He asked.

“Androids have a short battery life. Well, relatively,” Chase started, “Douglas kept it a secret from him, but Marcus is an old android. The fact that he’s still going is a big shock. The only thing I can think of is if Giselle changed something. But originally, he wasn’t supposed to be able to make it to 16.”

“But you guys met Marcus three or four years ago. How old was he then?”

“I don’t know,” Chase admitted. “I didn’t ask, and you can’t tell from appearance.” He finally let his head rest, now staring up at the ceiling again. “It reminds me of Skylar. Like, how old is she?”

“22,” Oliver answered. “But also technically like… 107 or something, it’s not explicitly stated in the comics.”

“Exactly. I have no idea how old Marcus is, only that he’s designed to resemble someone in his early 20s. But he’s still got the maturity and responsibility of someone our age. It’s a moral conundrum.”

Chase looked back up again.

“Hey, why aren’t you tied up and stuff?”

“Uh,” Oliver hesitated, trying to come up with a reason, “I-I mean, why should I know? But if I had to take a guess, I’d say it’s because he knows I don’t have bionics and he couldn’t stop my powers if he wanted to,” He rushed out. Reminded him of Kaz after seeing a movie.

“He knows you’re not bionic?” Chase asked urgently.

“Nope. He scanned me, didn’t find a chip,” Oliver explained.

The room fell silent after that, allowing Oliver to scan it.

The table that Chase was strapped to was up against the wall, with a computer desk at the opposite wall. The back wall was pretty much blank, save for a single piece of paper taped to the wall.

Oliver quietly stepped closer to get a better look at it.

It looked like a blueprint of some kind, only on white paper. It was too complicated for Oliver to understand. Any robotics he’d done, he was just messing around. He’d never actually looked at or made a proper blueprint.

Chase probably understood it, even without his chip.

“Once Marcus goes to sleep, you can get us out with your super strength.”

“Right,” Oliver said. “Uh… You should stay,” Oliver said. “Marcus will just capture you again if you don’t.”

“Not if we dismantle him.”

“I’m not doing that,” Oliver responded. “He’s basically a person. That’s murder, Chase.”

“I dismantled my androids,” Chase said, as if it were some sort of excuse.

“This is different.”

“How is it different?”

“It just is!” Oliver snapped. “It’s different! Okay? We’re not killing Marcus!” This released more than Oliver expected. “There were androids at Mighty Med. And them dying was just as devastating as anyone else. I know you probably see him, and all other androids as beneath you, but I come from a place where everyone is equal. “And you can’t even take a team vote on this, because Skylar and Kaz will agree with me. We’ll never kill, that’s not who we are, we save people.”

“One is better than many!” Chase reacted.

“We’re not killing Marcus,” Oliver repeated. “Mighty Max is equipped to hold someone like him. I’ll have to get my communicator, but I’ll come back for you.”

It was weird. Oliver was saying the words because he knew he was supposed to, but he could feel how empty they were. It was like he was lying instinctively.

“Fine,” Chase said begrudgingly.

Soon enough, Oliver left the room. He didn’t have to use his superstrength, he just turned the knob.

As soon as the door shut, he could hear Marcus.

“Finally!” Marcus exclaimed. “Was starting to get worried for a second.”

“About what?”

“Oh, those walls are enforced to withstand even my superstrength, which is probably stronger than yours. Don’t want you getting hurt, now do we?”

“You were worried I was going to escape,” Oliver translated, although it was more of an assumption.

“No,” Marcus said. “You’re allowed to leave at any time. I won’t stop you.”

“Seriously?” Oliver asked, disbelieving.

“Of course. I mean, if you leave, I’ll just move hideouts again. No harm done,” Marcus said.

“And if I don’t leave?” Oliver asks.

“I dunno, might still move, haven’t decided yet,” Marcus said. “Like I said, there’s a bed here for you, if you want it.”

“You’re serious about that?”

“Deadly,” Marcus said. “No, not that serious, but yes, I am serious.”

“I’d have to leave anyway,” Oliver said, “There’s all my stuff at home.”

“I trust you,” Marcus said again.

“Why?” Oliver asked.

“I already told you; I know you better than you know yourself.”

“I, uh,” Oliver started, honestly not knowing how he was going to end the sentence. “I don’t know my way home.” Marcus laughed slightly.

“You want me to take you?”

Oliver didn’t answer, but Marcus took that as a yes— as he should’ve.

They left the building and Marcus scooped Oliver up, much like he had before. He sped Oliver home.

He dropped Oliver in an alley a few blocks from his house.

“You should be able to find your way back from here, yeah?”

“Uh, I mean, yeah, probably,” Oliver said awkwardly, still feeling strange in Marcus’s arms.

Luckily, that didn’t last too long, since Marcus put Oliver back onto his feet.

“If you’re still thinking on it, you know where to find me.” Marcus sped back off in the direction they came from.

Oliver stood for a second, stunned and, admittedly, flustered. After a moment, he shook it off and launched into flight. He was only a couple of blocks away from the building, as he learned once he was higher up. Even so, he just flew the rest of the way home.

He stopped in front of his building and managed to land semi-well before going inside.

It had been longer than he had expected, the sun was just about down.

Unexpectedly, when he entered the penthouse, he was faced with many frustrated, fearful and worried looks.

“Where have you been?” Douglas practically yelled.

“Do you know how worried we’ve been?” Skylar asked.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kaz asked, being the first to walk up to him. “You know I just lost one of my best friends, what makes you think you could just run off like that?” He shoved Oliver before pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

“You could’ve at least taken your phone with you,” Bree said, waving the device in the air.

“I just needed a little time away,” Oliver said, gently pushing Kaz off of him. “Like Skylar said.”

“Where’d you go?” Skylar asked from the couch. She wasn’t looking at Oliver.

“I just flew around, y’know?” Oliver said. He tried to make a conscious effort not to make it look like he was lying. “I got a little carried away, had to find my way back.” That should excuse how long he’d been gone.

“Chase radioed in again,” Skylar said. Oliver didn’t let himself stiffen up. “You were there.”

“I wasn’t,” Oliver said, shaking his head. “Doesn’t Marcus have vocal manipulation?”

“But Chase seemed to really believe it was you,” Skylar said, turning to look at him now. “No cyber cloak, no nothing.”

“Isn’t Marcus like… super smart?” Oliver asked, “He probably figured something out. And it’s not like Chase could scan him to see.” He walked forward a bit, trying to seem as natural as possible. “I swear, I wasn’t there,” He said.

He settled behind the kitchen counter, looking back at his friends.

“You guys gotta trust me,” He said.

He pretended that he didn’t know why he was lying. To make himself feel better. He was a good person, he had to be. He saved people. He saved the people who saved people. He’d saved Kaz many times, which also made him someone who saved a person who saved people who saved people. He couldn’t know why he was lying; he was a good person. He was a hero.

“You’re right,” Bree said. “We should trust you.”

“Good,” Oliver said with a nod.

He did know. He did know why he was lying.

#lab rats #lab rats elite force #mighty med #chase davenport #marcus davenport #oliver mm #oliver lref #villain arcane

1 note · View note

hamliet · 3 years

Text

Dabi’s Missing Heart

So I’ve been seeing two main responses to Dabi’s character as portrayed in BNHA 292, both of which I feel touch on a very surface understanding of his character and role in the story despite seeming like opposite takes.

Take #1:

Dabi is an unfeeling monster created to show the redeemability of Shigaraki and Enji in contrast with his true eeeevil villainy! He will never be redeemed!

Take #2:

Dabi is a sweet softy who did nothing wrong! He will never be redeemed because of this chapter which is so out-of-character!

Note how they both have the same endpoint. I’m not actually gonna address the redemption question much because I can’t fathom what this panel foreshadows if not Touya’s salvation (alive):

I’m not looking to debate this either; I’m just putting it here because I know it’ll come up if I don’t.

Instead, I wanna address Dabi’s character. He’s my favorite, and I’ve been asked a few different times whether I enjoy him as a villain or as an uwu poor baby, and my answer is always both.

Dabi is a villain. This chapter’s rampage is, in my opinion, not remotely out of character for him. But neither is it the summation of his character, and he surely is not meant to make Enji look good by comparison.

So, who is Dabi?

Dabi is kind of a flaming jerk, and that’s why I like him. He’s an abuse victim who gets to be angry and crass and sharp. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to open up to them and get burned (heh). He’s just like Shouto in that, except with a dose of murder.

Believe it or not, this is a very realistic response to abuse, and very common too. It’s good to see that representation. If the writing was indeed just “he’s bad get rid of him,” well, that would of course be a terrible representation. But seeing a mean victim get redeemed? Now that’s some good sh*t I’m here for.

If you want a sweethearted, misunderstood soft victim, there is one in MHA, and that’s Shigaraki. Dabi is not these things, but that does not mean he’s not a victim or that he’s somehow an unfeeling monster.

You see, Shigaraki is a heart character. Dabi’s the mind. (Heart and mind characters are a literary pattern that is utilized in literature across the globe; it’s not an eastern/western cultural thing. It has its roots in alchemy.) The problem is that you can’t have a heart without a mind nor a mind without a heart. If you lack one, you’re missing half the picture, and you won’t accomplish anything.

We see this with Shigaraki in his quest to look for ideals, something to believe in, purpose to justify/enable acting on his feelings/emotions.

Dabi, in contrast, has conviction and ideals, but eschews any kind of personal connection and care.

So, both Shigaraki and Dabi struggle to unite heart and mind--but they need to do precisely this.

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki expressly envisions both Dabi and Himiko when musing on what his purpose is.

Yet Shigaraki is able to unite more easily with Himiko as opposed to Dabi because Himiko is also a heart character. She claims to be motivated by extreme empathy that warps around to become a lack thereof (wanting to be who she loves).

Shigaraki’s motivations are basically revenge for hero society not saving him--which encompasses both a deep internal and external (societal) need for empathy and a need for better ideals. Shigaraki needs Himiko and Dabi. They’re a trio, and all of them need each other to grow. But Himiko, being similarly driven expressly by emotions, is easier for Shigaraki to understand and work with.

The irony is that Dabi is actually a very, very emotional character as well. But what he does (as is typical for a mind character) is repress them, compartmentalize, dissociate. He constantly pushes people away, yet admits privately, to himself, that he’s primarily (and paradoxically) motivated by family. This is emotional, yet Dabi claims he “overthought” and, according to other translations, “snapped” can be actually be read as “went crazy” as a result over overthinking (note: both are mind allusions).

Dabi repressing who he is--Todoroki Touya--is symbolic of him repressing his emotional side, because again, family and emotions are tied together for his character. Now his identity is acknowledged, and Dabi claims to be losing his mind (again), claims that he can’t feel, and yet is completely consumed by emotions. Like, does anyone think he’s being methodical and calculating this chapter?

It’s not just negative emotions (rage, hate) that drive Dabi in response to his family. His seeking belonging and emotional connection is present even in a chapter where he tries to murder two members of his family and laughs off the risk to the life of another.

See, Dabi first asked Shouto to validate his pain:

But like, given the circumstances, of course Shouto doesn’t really respond well. How Shouto responds is this:

Shouto’s words are triggering. And keep in mind I am not blaming Shouto: he’s in shock and he’s a kid. I’m merely trying to explain how it likely comes across to Dabi.

You’re crazy. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t really care about Natsuo! You’re a villain and that’s ALL you are. Not a brother or abuse survivor. Just a villain.

So, uh, yeah, Dabi then retreats back to being unable to feel, dissociating as has always been his coping mechanism. But that’s not all: Dabi’s been repressing for so long that of course he’s gonna go a little insane in response to the dismissal of everything he’s trying to point out. Why wouldn’t he? His family dismissed his pain back then and now again, and so, without that heart, without those emotions, principle is all Dabi has. This has been present since long before Stain’s ideology came into his life:

Now, he answers this question of existence through Stain’s ideology. Purpose is all he has, and to him, Shouto and Best Jeanist are dismissing that too. Why are they dismissing it? Best Jeanist dismisses him for an ideal: the overall good of hero society. Shouto has a mixture of this ideal and also like, genuine shock and pain.

Back to Dabi. Dabi’s summation of himself and his purpose is incorrect and harmful to himself and others. I’m not excusing him or justifying, just explaining. It’s a tragic reflection of what Endeavor raised both Touya and Shouto to be (and thereby ironic that BJ uses an ideal to dismiss him):

Instead of being raised to be the symbol of hero society--as Endeavor intended--he exists to destroy it. The root is the same: Dabi assumes he exists for hero society, as a tool. He dehumanizes himself, hence why his quirk physically harms him (which also fits his almost religious zeal for Stain’s ideology). But it is not all Dabi is. He’s not a tool, he’s a person, but to acknowledge he’s a person involves acknowledging his heart/emotional desires, and that gets to my next point.

Dabi’s not a reliable narrator about himself. At all. I’ve written about Dabi and dissociation before. So let’s look at Dabi’s devotion to his ideals, the ideals he puts above people and claims he only cares about... because there are moments where Dabi goes against those ideals.

For one example, Dabi’s gone against those ideals when he’s allowed his personal need for revenge (an emotional/heart motivation) to overcome his longterm plan. Like, he was fully about to get himself killed here, even though that would likely mean no one would know the corruption of the Todoroki family and hero society, just for the chance to prove to his father that he hurt him.

In addition, I’ve talked before about how Dabi’s the only character in the entire damn manga to comment that maybe using child soldiers is not okay. While it’s not explicitly stated, it’s reasonable to conclude that Dabi considers the abuse of children in hero training a sin of hero society that ought to be purged (hence, part of his ideals).

That said, I have also pointed out that Dabi has gone after children in the past when it benefits his mission (Bakugou would like a word). So let’s look at four examples of Dabi and his principles concerning kids--since, after all, he claims to be motivated by heroes who hurt kids.

Firstly, Dabi’s “save the cat” when he spared Aoyama.

Why did he spare Aoyama? We can only speculate, but it seems quite likely there are two reasons: 1) hurting Aoyama would not add anything to his overall goal of downing hero society, and 2) a terrified, cowering kid might just have been a teeny bit familiar to Dabi. Here, his ideals--destroying hero society--either take a backseat to a reflection of his personal pain (and)/or his ideal of not abusing kids directly contradicted his ideal of bringing down hero society. But the important part is that in this instance, Dabi chose mercy and the goal of bringing down hero society was jeopardized as a result.

So then why did he attack Tokoyami, Nejire, and Shouto this arc? Well, Dabi does things he knows are wrong for the sake of accomplishing his overall purpose. He does things he knows hurt himself for this purpose. This isn’t new. If he can’t be acknowledged, can’t exist as a person with emotions, then he at least will ensure he still has a purpose.

In addition, let’s look at what sets Dabi off in all of these instances. (Again, this isn’t me saying “well actually Dabi’s justified.” He’s not. I’m just pointing to what’s in the text to explain the machinations beyond “bad guy do bad.”)

Dabi tries to reason with Tokoyami, pointing out that Twice was doing essentially what Tokoyami is doing: trying to save his friend(s), but Tokoyami doesn’t listen (also again: not me saying Tokoyami should have listened--realistically, in this situation, it makes sense Tokoyami trusted his mentor!)

Only after his reasoning was rejected did Dabi go to flames mode. He could have just let Tokoyami save Hawks, but instead he really wanted to kill Hawks and that overrode his other principles. Was this just because of his furthering his goal--killing the #2 hero would help destroy hero society--or because of a sense of personal revenge for Twice? That’s open for interpretation (in my opinion, it’s likely a mixture, because again, it tends to intertwine more than Dabi likes to think it does). His principles and/or emotions are brushed aside, and Dabi Does Not Like That.

Dabi does this again with Shouto this chapter, asking him where he stands on their family issues, and gets brushed aside, and then Shouto goes into his rage mode and Dabi responds. Again, not saying Shouto is rational here or that he should side with Dabi’s murderous plan, but like, his words really don’t come across well to Dabi.

Dabi going after Shouto after explaining things, asking Shouto for help, and then having his pain dismissed is pretty much a repeat of Tokoyami. When Dabi’s pain is dismissed, he says fine, let’s aim for the highest principle possible: making Stain’s will a reality, and damn any emotional ties.

Dabi’s obsession with ideals, you might say, is a smokescreen to cover his own pain. Far from feeling nothing, he feels very deeply. (I promise I’m getting to Nejire.)

So what does this indicate? Well, that Dabi does have a heart and a conscience. But when he lets his heart act, when his heart reaches out, he gets burned. His heart jeopardizes his overall purpose, so he most often dissociates himself from it. But by pretending he doesn’t have a heart, he dehumanizes himself, and he projects that dehumanization onto others (see: seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, when that’s actually the precise image Shouto is trying to shed).

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki has been unconscious during the entire confrontation with Endeavor, nor is it a coincidence that Himiko has been MIA. But, Shigaraki wakes up a bit this chapter not only when hearing Dabi spout about how hero society needs to burn, an ideal/the thing Shigaraki lacks, and through a less important but still-ideal-driven character in Spinner asking him to accomplish his supposed ideal of destruction, but when Dabi saves Shigaraki and Spinner.

Dabi doesn’t burn Nejire for lols (not that this makes it better because it doesn’t) or even for ideals. He burns her to save Shigaraki and Spinner, because they are his links to full humanity right now.

(Again, this is also dissociation and projection: Endeavor did this! No, Dabi, you did. You’re perpetuating violence against kids rather than stopping it.)

But anyways, when Dabi calls upon heart, Shigaraki wakes. He lends Gigantomachia and thereby Dabi and the league power.

Dabi can only grow and actually accomplish anything related to his ideals (fixing hero society) through accepting a heart--even though that will likely mean some painful surgery to shift his ideals to accommodate said heart, because pure ideals don’t leave much room for humanity. He needs to feel to actually change anything, because right now he’s just making things worse (hence, the need for saving and redemption).

I know the League aren’t the protagonists of the serIes, but their complaints aren’t exactly incorrect either (if anything they’re almost a little too valid). But through growing together, Dabi, Shigaraki, and Himiko might actually be able to accomplish something, and get themselves in a place where they can be reached and saved by Shouto, Deku, and Ochaco. Because to be saved, the kids will have to acknowledge the villains’ pain and complaints, and do something about it.

#bnha 292 #bnha meta #mha 292 #mha meta #dabi #todoroki shouto #todoroki touya #todoroki enji #hado nejire #toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #best jeanist #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha theory #mha theory #league of villains #spinner

1K notes · View notes

scandalsavagefanfic · 3 years

Note

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is.

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative.

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency.

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him.

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine.

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

#Batman #red hood #batman: urban legends #nice art #shit story #or at least shit characterization #jason todd deserves better #this response got long and I didn't edit it #please forgive any errors #and/or unclear spots #spoilers

320 notes · View notes