#like they say youre going to lose everything so they wont let you experience it until you have something to lose

[nightssideblogofshame]

Honestly, i respect the hell out of just how involved the game forces you to be with seeking mr eaten

Like, when i first started playing, i was having a good time, yknow? Then i discovered u could seek mr eaten, and like, im curious, of course im curious, but theres piles of warnings on that story and when i went to look it up as like, idk risk investigation, i found out that (spoilers btw) it would lose me my character, like my character would just be gone, idk how or why and i dont want to know without seeing it myself, but i knew my character would be for all practical purposes gone if i did it

And like, by this point i was already attached, yknow? I liked this character, i was doing my best, i was being a slut down in veilgarden and trying to become a master criminal on the side, i was having fun and way too emotionally attached to this character to sacrifice them, yknow

But the mystery, the intrigue, what in the name of the masters happened in the seeking mr eaten story???? I had to know

So what i did, was i made a seperate account, a sacrificial lamb, if you will, specifically to seek mr eaten with, i thought that id just dive directly into seeking mr eaten and like, kill off this character or condemn them or whatever horrid fate would happen to them, and I'd get to know the mr eaten story without risking my emotionally invested account, pretty standard strat in these kinds of risk storyline yknow, just make a throwaway to experience it with

Except! Except! That didn't work!

See, to seek mr eaten, you need high stats, you need resources, you need knowledge, you need a large variety of things that u just dont have and dont have the ability to get in the early game, i didnt get anywhere at all by trying to jump right in, my sacrificial lamb could not be sacrificed

So i start playing with her, and playing, and im choosing choices i didnt in my first go and focusing on stats i hadnt on my other account, and suddenly im invested in this character too, they arent a sacrificial lamb anymore, they came down to the neath to hunt down their nemesis, they were a mother whose child was murdered, she was ruthless and practical, cruel at points but not without reason, had a soft spot for children, i had like a whole mental storyline for her

And i went oh. Oh.

Fallen london absolutely forces you to get invested in your characters before youre allowed to seek mr eaten, they will not allow you to remain distant, the really extremely common strat that works in any other game to experience the 'bad route' by making a stupid trash character just wont work, is absolutely foiled!, by fallen london

Fallen london gives you a route it says will take everything from you, and then forces you to gather things to lose if you want to experience it, and i respect the hell out of that

#fallen london #like they say youre going to lose everything so they wont let you experience it until you have something to lose #they absolutely force u to experience the agony of the losses no matter fucking what #its incredible #seeking mr eaten's name

[evie-sturns]

ᴠɪʀɢɪɴ - ᴄʜʀɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

summary: chris has always been your best friend until one night everything changes when you lose your virginity to him.

contains: smut, gentle chris, swearing, fluff.

———------------.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.-----------------——

chris and i tell eachother everything, i mean everything. we've been friends since the 6th grade and have no secrets, except for one. i'm a virgin. in my defence hes never really asked but its my biggest insecurity

its 11pm, me, nick, matt, chris and madi are sitting on the sturniolos couch, im cuddled against nick as matt and chris scroll on their phone.

madi is talking about a hookup experience right infront of us. ive never really hung out with her alone but she seems to overshare. a lot. "y/n, you know how when then finish they make strange ass noises?" she continues "mhm.." i lie, "but oh my god he was making demonic sounds like what the fuck" she says laughing.

after 5 more minutes of her talking, i feel humiliated, everyone else in the room except for me is laughing along with her and agreeing.

she wont stop.

i grab my phone then stand up off the couch, walking out of room in and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. i hear the living room go silent apart from a few whispers "chris go see whats wrong!" i hear nick say quietly and then shuffling, followed by 3 knocks on the bathroom door.

"y/n? you okay?" i hear chris say softly.

"please go away chris."

"im not gonna go away sweetheart, please talk to me." chris whispers through the door.

after a few minutes i unlock the door. chris opens it slowly to find me inside, eyes puffy from the few tears i shed. "oh y/n.." chris says sympathetically before pulling me into a hug, rubbing my back. "c'mon, lets go to my room so you can talk to me." he offers and i nod. he takes my hand as we open the door to his bedroom.

he sits down on the floor, resting his back against the side of his bed. i sit down next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

i take a deep breath "im a virgin." i say bluntly, but quietly. he tenses slightly then nods understandably.

"and its fucking embarrasing when madis talking about fucking random dudes infront of me, its quite frankly humiliating." i continue "because im almost 21 and ive never done anything." i sigh.

an uncomfortable silence grows for a few seconds "this might be weird, and if you dont want to we can never talk about any of this again, but i could.." he pauses

"i could help..?" he says nervously

"help?" i repeat, slightly confused.

"i mean we've been best friends for like 9 years, i could y'know. teach ya? like platonically though." he says holding my hand.

another silence grows.

"okay!" i say nervously

"ok?" he whispers

"you can, lead the way?" i offer and he smiles.

he stands up, before leaning down and pulling me up by my wrists. we're both clearly nervous. "do i uh, have your like.. full consent?" he says concerned and i let out a small laugh "yes chris, you do, you're the person im most comfortable with."

he lifts his shirt off over his head, i blush, why am i blushing?

he throws his shirt to the floor before pulling mine off, revealing my white bra, which he quickly unclasps. he leans down and grabs my jaw, pulling me into a soft kiss. my heart rate increases as i realise this is chris, my best friend.

he picks me up by my ass and places me gently on my back on his mattress, the same one that we were giggling on yesterday. he pulls down my shorts, then my panties. leaving me revealed on the bed. he looms over me before pulling me by my thighs to the edge of the bed. he leans down between my thighs, his cold breath against my heat.

he drags his tongue all the way from my hole to my clit forcing a desperate moan out of me. "tastes so fucking good." he mumbles which causes me to squirm. he stands up and unbuckles his leather belt, letting it fall to the floor before he unbuttons his baggy jeans.

he stands in-between my legs in his boxers, it feels wrong, but so fucking right. "you ready baby?"

baby?

"im nervous chris, what if it hurts."

"dont be, it doesnt have to hurt, mhm?" he says reassuringly as he nods his head at me.

"i trust you chris.." i say smiling as he grabs the inside of my thigh "can you spread a little more?" he says and i comply.

after what feels like forever he pulls down his boxers slowly, letting his boner spring out, hitting his stomach. i instantly sit up in shock "chris-." i stutter as i look up at him

"you're okay, it wont hurt if you relax. ill go super slow hm?" he reasures and i nod.

"lay back down princess." he whispers.

i lay back down and reach for chris's hand, its always been a comfort thing for me and right now i need it more than ever.

his dick is strangely perfect.

i take a deep breath and squeeze chris's hand as his tip pushes against my entrance. he pushes slowly inside of me, giving me only an inch or two. "fuck you're so tight." he groans making my stomach flip. "you look so beautiful taking me mhm."

as he sinks deeper into me, his balls lightly pressing against my ass.

the same boy who i used to beg to play barbies with me is now balls deep inside of me.

im a moaning mess as chris giggles slightly

"what the fuck is funny chris" i say smiling

"your moans." he says nonchalantly as he starts to thrust, kissing my cervis each time

"shut up.." i say in between moans as i squeeze his hand tighter.

without warning he pulls out which causes me to immediately grab him and pull him closer "i didnt finish chris!" i say frustrated

"shh sh, i know i know, i want you to ride me. can you do that for me?" he says which almost makes me orgasm from his words.

"okay."

he lays down beside me and grabs my waist pulling me ontop of his so im sitting on his thighs. i prop myself up above his tip as he grabs my hips. i slowly sink down on him, feeling every inch of him filling me up. i moan loudly causing him to slam a hand over my mouth "shh." he whispers as i bounce up and down, i squeeze my eyes shut as my moans are muffled by his hand.

"y/n baby, im close okay? i want you to cum with me." he groans as i bounce faster on his cock

"you ready?" he says as his breathing becomes quicker. i nod as i clench around him, instantly making him release inside of me. i follow right after him as i collapse on his chest, he reaches a hand down pulling himself out of me.

he holds me tight against his chest, my breasts push against his hard chest while he grabs my ass. "you did so fucking good, so good." he whispers into my hair. "you want me to get you dressed baby?" he offers and i nod, sitting up on his stomach. he sits up and i slide off him onto his bed. as he stands up, he holds up my panties and shoves them in his pocket. before i have time to question it hes pulling me onto my feet.

he picks me up and slings me over his shoulder. i squeal as he keep a firm grip on my thigh. pulling my shorts onto me. he places me back down onto my feet and puts my bra on. "is this right" he says with a slight laugh "yeah surprisingly!!" i say with a wide grin before pulling my shirt on.

chris finishes getting dressed and plants another kiss on my lips "was that okay for you? i hope it didnt hurt" chris asks softly "yeah it felt.. really fucking good chris." i say wiping my eyes in embarrassment.

he grabs my hand and takes me into the living room. nick is looking at chris with disgust and everyones dead silent "did you guys just fuck." matt says breaking the silence and my heart drops to my stomach

"what.." i say defensivley

"the load ass moans?" nick yells angrily.

the silence grows as chris looks like hes seen a ghost as i look up at him

chris suddenly starts "she got her period, so i took her up to my room so she could grab some fucking.. products. she was crying, they may of sounded like moans to you but she was just upset." he lies so confidently straight through his teeth which almost makes me burst out laughing.

"so im taking her home alright?" chris continues.

"shit sorry guys." nick says embarrassed "see you tommorow y/n, feel better" matt says and i smile at him.

(4 weeks later)

"hey baby, i got you these!" chris says walking into my bedroom with flowers "for what exactly" i say laughing "one month anniversary dumb fuck." chris says giving me a kiss on my lips.

4 weeks ago when he dropped me off he confessed to me.

he said he'd liked me for a while now, as in 5 years.

i hated to admit it, but i had felt the same.———------------.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.-----------------——

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo x you #chris x reader

[angelpinkfall]

I hope I wont be annoying you or being rude but also OMG your so underrated even tho your good at writing But

Could I request Akaza with A soft s/o as I know hes a Pleasure dom and I wanted to see how he would be with a soft and innocent lover.

I hope its not much But dont overwork yourself and get a glass of water or if its late do my request later and go to bed!

❤Akaza x Soft!Reader ❣Smut❣❤

Hi! Thank you for the request. You are so sweet. Let see 

When he first saw you, he knew you were the sweetest thing. With how soft spoken you were he didn’t really think of going further with you other than the occasional kiss here and cuddle there. But he wanted to let you take the first step. 

However as time went on, he realized you didn’t seem to know how. He could see the way you squirmed in place as he would deepen kisses and shift as he would let his hands wander. 

He found you absolutely precious. So at the new revelation, he would ask you up front if you wanted to go further. 

Of course your body heats at the thought, but you say yes anyway despite how nervous you are. 

He knows you're nervous so he will start off by learning what you like first. 

Knowing he wants to make sure you feel the best you have ever felt, he will look for a comfortable place to fulfill all the activities he has planned. Whether this is your own home and bed, or a cabin he found where he stokes a fire for the two of you, he will make it romantic. 

He starts off the night with soft kisses and groping. Slowly stripping you and himself. 

As you shift from the heat overtaking your body, he starts kissing and sucking on your neck. Something you hadn’t experienced, and something you certainly liked!

From sucking and nibbling your neck to shifting down to your breast, he praises you for being such a good girl. 

He decides he is going to keep you the main priority but he can’t help himself from slowly grinding into the sheets of your bed as he listens to your wanting moans. 

He will continue teasing and massaging his way down your body until he is positioned at your thighs. He wrenches them open and pulls you forward so he can get a full look at you. 

His strength is well beyond yours so you have no choice but to let him admire all of you. Every inch is noted. Every dip, scar, stretch mark, dimple, and even birthmark is noted by his piercing gaze. 

Getting on his elbows and places his arms under your thighs and locks your hips in place before he dives in to take a long lick from your hole to your clit. 

The stimulation is so foreign and strong you can’t help but to cry out in surprise. 

He just about loses his mind right then and there, but he doesn’t and he decides to eat you at a slow pace. He wants you to feel everything. With how innocent you are, he wants to make your first time absolutely mind blowing. Making you his and his alone. 

So he sucks on you at an almost painfully slow pace that has you squirming. Unfortunately, with his iron like hold on you, you subject to the slow but sweet torture. 

By the time you are on the cusp of coming he finally picks up the pace and starts to suck and lick with vigor. You are blinded by how fast you are pulled and pushed over the edge. Your moan is long and deep and as you twitch he licks his lips and scans over your body as you recover. 

He is long from finished however. The night is still young. 

However, he wants you to have a good experience so he will let you recover. You are, after all, his snowflake.

To be Continued… 

Quotes from the experience: 

“I’m going to go slow alright, I love you, so don’t hesitate to talk to me my love.” 

“Mmmph, Snowflake you taste so good~. Better than anything I’ve had before.” 

“You know Snowflake, I could eat you all day and I would still have room for more.” 

“I know if feels so good Snowflake, but you need to stay still for me” 

“Go ahead, I know your close let me *suck*... Fuck yeah, like that, cum on my tongue Snowflake!” 

“You didn’t think this was it right? We have all night. ♡ ”

#akaza x reader #akaza x y/n #kny akaza #akaza x female reader #upper moons #akaza #soft reader #kny x reader #kny smut #akaza smut

[amysubmits]

I dont know what to realistically expect when its time for me and my Daddy to have our first intercourse. Lately in our sexting and having playtime over text and calls, as we are currently in a ldr, its been all about him.. I am worried that it will be like that as well when its time. it will be my first time having sex, and me reading alot of erotica and romance and intimacy in fiction books and novels doesn't help that I want it to be as perfect as I read about, but I know its unrealistic.. I have asked him multiple times in the many months we have dated what's it gonna be like or what are we gonna do when its time for sex and he always said that he will take good care of me and we will do it all depending on me and how I am feeling and that its different when we are sexting and playing over the phone and how it will really be, that sometimes he gets rougher just to get things going and exciting over the phone but when its time it wont be like that because he knows that I am a virgin and that I am inexperienced.. I hope you understand how I feel and please advice me..

Hey Anon :)

I don't mean to suggest that I assume most people lose their virginity as minors because that certainly isn't the case. I was an adult myself, actually. At the same time, because it's not uncommon for people to experience this as minors, when I get anonymous messages referencing virginity I always feel the need to say that I am hoping and assuming you are at least 18, and if not you shouldn't be on my blog.

With that out of the way...

I think your worries are really understandable to me given how you're facing the unknown, and given the nature of your sexting themes. It's awesome that you've raised those questions/concerns to your Daddy multiple times! Communicating things like that are so important but can be so easy to shy away from doing as a new sub so I'm so glad to hear that you did that! And it sounds like he tried to reassure you that he won't push for anything that is too much for you or you aren't enjoying in the moment, which, in my opinion, is exactly what should be the case.

I think the #1 priority should be making this an enjoyable, non-scary experience for you. I can imagine being in your shoes and wanting to be this "perfect sub" based on your understanding of the 'perfect sub' from erotica and stuff, as well as wanting to make some of your sexting experiences a reality. I can understand the instinct to put that pressure on yourself. However, I'd really encourage you to try to be aware of you putting that pressure only ourself, and trying to resist it. Honestly, I think a lot of subs if they were to write out what "perfect sub" or "ideal sub" would be like...their description would not be the healthiest view of what a sub is. Many of us, even when we logically know otherwise, still hold onto some parts of your brains that think that we'd be a "better sub" if we had the least amount of limits possible, or if we needed as little as possible from our doms and were able to make everything about their pleasure. But those are really toxic ideas if taken seriously so it's really important to resist those - at any/every phase of D/s in my opinion, but especially when you're new to sex. Even as a sub with a few years of experience, I still find myself needing to be more vocal about how things feel, or do more guiding when I am trying something new to me. I think it's healthiest for me to do that, though - so we try to prioritize being healthy over being as subbie as possible.

Right now, your partner can't possibly know what feels good to your body during sex because you have no experience with that yourself, so you don't really know your own body in that way...so he can't either. And with that being the case, the best way to explore your body and learn what does and doesn't feel good to you, is to let you do a lot of guiding the situation in your early experiences. How fast, how deep, what position or angle, etc should all be based on what feels best to you, in my opinion. So that will likely look like starting really slow, and then you letting him know if you want deeper or faster or slower or if the angle is uncomfortable or painful at all, etc.

Frankly, it may not feel super submissive if you find that you feel the most submissive when you're in a passive role. You'll be leading the situation somewhat....but submitting isn't all about being passive. Cautiously exploring your body together while giving him information about how it's feeling for you, is going to give him lots of great information that he can someday use to lead your sexual interactions more himself. So, I think you could still very much see the experience as an act of submission as you'd be serving your Daddy and your relationship really well by doing that. To me, this route would be the most ideal.

At minimum though, I'd suggest trying to come up with specific boundaries that you have for this first experience. I assume that part of your fear of not knowing what to expect comes from fears that X, Y or Z will happen. Based on what your ask said, I'd think some of your fears might be that the interact would be too focused on his pleasure and not enough on your own, and another might be that you'd worry he'll be really rough like he's been in your sexting. If those assumptions are accurate, I'd share those specific concerns with him and set roughness as a limit. With PIV being the goal, he may need some time focused on him as far as a handjob or blowjob to get him hard. But if that is the case, you could still agree to something like...the situation will be as focused on you as reasonably possible, and agreeing to some sort of check-in related to whether you've had enough time specifically focused on you. And if you have any other specific concerns or fears, should be set as limits if at all possible. I say 'if at all possible' because if your fear is something like...being afraid that you won't be able to orgasm, then that isn't necessarily something you can set as a hard limit as your body just may not cooperate. But if your fears are things like...you're worried about being tied down during sex, or you're worried about a certain position or something, those are things you can (and in my opinion should) set as limits for your first experience.

In a nutshell, I think it'd be really tough for this first experience to be "too selfish" on your side. I'd encourage you to see being vocal about your preferences, goals, fears, dislikes, etc so that you guys can customize this as closely as possible to making it go as well as possible for you. If you want to someday submit to his wishes and preferences in bed, that's awesome, but I don't think the first few times you have sex should be about that. You have to learn your body first and understand your body a little bit yourself before you can really give control of your body over to anyone else.

I'll also add that while it's understandable to hope your first time is amazing, I'd try to adjust that expectation a little bit. I'm not at all saying it's not possible that your first time will be great, because for some people it absolutely is. And I don't think you should have too much fear that it'll go terribly, because as long as you both respect each other and communicate (as it sounds like you guys do!), it shouldn't go terribly. But, there is a lot of gray area between 'great' and 'awful'. My guess is that most people's first time is more in the neutral or slightly positive area. But when you think about your first time doing anything else...it's kinda understood that the first time won't be your best experience ever with most things. The first time with most things is a learning experience and if that's what your first time with sex primarily is...that's still a really good thing that can lead you to the "fireworks and rainbows" feeling sexual experiences you want to have later on.

I hope something in here helped. Sorry this is so long. Best of luck to you.

#asks #d/s

[spacexseven]

(4/4) ok rapidfire round cuz i talked about aku and dazai WAAAY too much here are some other guys who work with this

fyodor - this fucker would legit get to the point where he actually fucking tries to kill you, and then a month later you’re just. back in his house. probably tied to a chair while he straddles your lap and pets your hair and coos about how badly he’s yearned for his little golubchik (little dove) since you last parted ways and how glad he was when he heard you were okay and how you guys should totally get married in the eyes of the lord and youre about to have a fucking anuersysm.probably wants to just pretend it Didnt Happen. he’d be very unequipped to deal with Feelings Of Guilt so he assauges it by showering you in affection and gifts and larping as Loving Husband. might tamper with you juuuust a touch so you forget about the whole thing, cuz seeing you flinch and try to get away from him makes his chest all tight and he doesnt Like It so you gotta stop doing it <3

gogol - all my ideas for him are VERY similar to what i already have down for dazai BUT differences are that he doesnt wanna torture you cuz he Dislikes you, he wants to torture you cuz he wants to see your Normal Person-ish reaction to incredible suffering! not only are you going through hellish pain, but it’s being inflicted on someone who you thought cared for you? how ghoulish! your reaction would certainly be one for the books! he gets attached to you probably the same way he did to fyodor, through you making real strides towards understanding him, but your Normal Ways would make him less keen on wanting to murder you and more keen on wanting to stay with you forever and make you his little birdie. you managing to piece together that your bf was actually that clown terrorist youve been hearing so much about DID throw a wrench in things a touch, but hes waaay too impressed with you to be bothered by it! youre even more amazing than he thought! wow! his darling birdie! lets stay together forever! why are you running away come back :(

kouyou - shout out to all my WOMAN LIKERS we got kouyou. gonna have to make this one quick i talked about the russians too much. listen. kouyou? she’s already got some baggage about losing the person she loves to the mafia, so falling for her target is EXTREMELY inconvenient for her. she wants to just ignore her feelings and be rid of you already, to save herself the trouble (insert wont say im in love from hercules somewhere in here), but you’re so... bright. much brighter than she ever thought she’d be able to experience, and you care for her so much… she just cant bring herself to let you slip away. please, dont hate her for bringing you into the darkness with her. she wont let it infect you, she promises! anything and everything to protect her precious light. 

CONCLUSION: im insane

- 🩹

can you tell i'm super biased towards nikolai :< all asks in this au (basically yandere uses the reader to steal info, falls for them as well) are tagged as #spy au 🐟

cw: yandere characters, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, jealousy, violent threats, murder, forced relationships, kidnapping, imprisonment, manipulation, nikolai has previously pulled out a knife on reader and threatens to kill them.

honestly i don't think fyodor would ever feel guilt for his previous actions. sure, he's roughed you up far too much for the sake of the mission and ruined your life and tortured your friends but all of that was to bring you both together! everything that happened was for the good of your relationship. he always knew you were something special, back when he decided to use you as a way to get information about yokohama's ability users. in fact, he had already decided back then that he would have you join him to fulfill his goal once he gained what he needed to know. you would be useful in a lot of ways, but mostly he wanted you there for a far more selfish reason.

(it did get pretty lonely at the top.)

you thought fyodor was going to kill you after his true intentions were revealed, but waking up to find him holding you like he was cradling the most wonderful thing in the world made you realize you couldn't be more wrong. he had never been to pushy when you met, never asking anything suspicious enough for you to think he was using you. in fact, you only ever met him once every few weeks in a desolate corner when you felt tired from all your work. maybe that false belief that you two were strangers who would never meet at day was what led you to confide in him things you should never have. things you would have gotten killed for revealing if he hadn't already killed your superiors. whatever it was that convinced you to do such a foolish thing, it ruined your life now.

maybe his strange attachment to you wasn't the worst possible outcome. at the very least, there seemed to be hope of you getting out of here alive if his incessant touches and condescending words didn't completely tear you apart.

nikolai is pretty similar to dazai, except he's never been bothered by the job. he likes messing with people, and it helps that you're just to cute! if you're going to freeze every time he places a hand on your back and look all shocked every time he steals a kiss, he's going to actually start liking you, you know? not a temporary arrangement, like in a 'you're-cute-and-i-can-show-you-off' way, but in a 'you're-never-leaving-my-side-and-ill-gladly-kill-everyone-so-you-only-have-me' way. he's that initially annoying and flirty stranger who eventually grows on you, so much so that when he one day puts a hand around you and gleefully announces that he was your boyfriend, despite never having talked to you about this arrangement, you can't find it in you to object. he is sort of cute, with that killer smile. even if he is so reckless you worry for him all the time and has these frightening rounds of jealousy, you supposed it could work out.

he doesn't even need you to finish his task, to be honest. stealing documents and the like was child's play for nikolai. he just wanted an excuse to mess with you while getting paid. oh, but you treating him so genuinely, with so much care...he can't just let anyone else receive that sort of treatment in the unlikely situation he had to break up with you. if he had to kill you after this arrangement, it would be quite a waste, wouldn't it? you were so sweet to him. there were always other ways to make you cry—ways he was sure you'd enjoy almost as much as him. if you didn't...well, you'd just have to learn to like it!

imagine his shock when he comes to visit one day to find you...gone! like you had disappeared from your place overnight. even he hadn't been expecting this turn, after all, the two of you had been getting even closer. was it because he kept insisting on trying some potentially dangerous things in bed? but you'd have talked to him about it first. this was...unlike you. and then he catches sight of the news and realizes someone had leaked out some of his personal history.

oops. he forgot most people weren't comfortable dating a murderer.

too bad you didn't have a choice anymore! he finds you, as expected. with his ability and his understanding of you, it was only a matter of time. thing is, nikolai doesn't really like to threaten you so badly, really. sure, there were those times when he swore he would tear apart anyone who tried to ask you out, and promised to kill everyone you ever dated before him so that he could be the only living person to boast of such an honor. and he did pull out a knife on you a couple times but it was all fun and games! really! this time, not so much.

nikolai had you grabbing onto the edge of his coat while he dangled you over the edge of a skyscraper, having used his ability to bring you here earlier. you were probably too scared to be listening to him, but all he was asking of you was an apology and a promise to never leave him like that again. promise him you'd always be by his side.

he was so worried for you! this was the least you could do to make it up to him.

koyou would be devastated when she realizes what this feeling was. the strange warmth that came from sitting next to you, sharing meals and talking about work, quiet moments together—she was stupid for letting it go this far. and now...now she was in too deep.

if only she had stuck to her goal and only been an acquaintance to you. if only you hadn't shown her such a beautiful sight and the possibility of a warm future together. she couldn't bear losing you, couldn't live knowing she could never hold you as close as she yearned to after this was over.

unless...she took some disastrous action.

she knew you would hate her more than you already did if she brought you into her world. you would hate it there, but she was foolishly hoping her presence would make it a little more bearable. you were so wonderful to her...could you manage to love her just a little more? could you overlook your disgust for her tainted soul and hold her like you did, before the truth came out?

#yandere x you #yandere bsd #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere nikolai x reader #nikolai x reader #yandere nikolai gogol #yandere nikolai #yandere fyodor x reader #yandere fyodor dostoevsky #yandere fyodor #fyodor x reader #yandere koyou #bsd koyou #koyou x reader #ask 🐟 #anon 🐟 #bsd 🐟 #dazai 🩹 🐟 #spy au 🐟 #yandere

[driftward]

Title: FFXIV Write 2023 - 8. Shed Characters: Rating: Teen Summary: What truths can be found in the aetherial sea? Notes: None

You know what it is like, to enter the aetherial sea.

It is a story you tell nobody, for it is a story that can not be told. So much of the experience is eclectic in that way, in that indelible way. It is knowledge that can not be taught, only experienced, and descriptions of it could not match what it was, what it is.

And you are not overly wont to share of yourself, anyroad.

But you know what it is like.

The first time you did so carefully, with ward and spell, ritual and focus. You spent so long preparing that first time. It was your grasp, your hands around your own destiny, or not at all, as you told your master. And so your master watched as you waded into those waters, unraveled yourself to her surprise - ha! you had managed to keep a secret from her! - and shed who you were, to set yourself free to be the only woman you could ever be.

The next time was rather less planned. Instead of moons, you had moments, and a spur of such impulse.

You know you should perhaps tame that one day.

You will not, as she might say.

But still. It was a shoddy plan, which was better than no plan at all, which was better than planning to let him die, which you had no intention of doing.

And so you entered the sea once more, not alone this time.

You clung to him desperately. This was for her. This was for both of them. This was for him, and this was for yourself, that the Light may never die.

And once again, you shed everything you ever were, risking everything you might ever be.

It is called the aetherial sea for good reason, for falling into it is very much like falling into water. There is a thickness to it, a sense of depth. You can lose yourself in it. You can fall into its depths, where light and memory plays tricks on you, as its ebbs and flows around you.

And it has currents.

And they wish to wash you away.

Instead, you must hold tightly onto yourself, and you do, you did, but you hold even tighter on to him. He does not know what you do, but he trusts you, he trusts you so much, he does not even ask the question, he does not resist. His soul folds into yours as easily as the sea itself, and as you two meet, you intermingle, you shed your inhibitions, and both of you are naked in more ways than one, and he is your brother, you are his sister, no, you are kin, no, you are closer than kin.

But you cannot keep him safe here. Keeping yourself is one thing, and you have practice at that. Keeping him is quite another, and you are horrified at how he ebbs away, at the parts of him being lost, even as parts of him find you, even as your histories intermingle.

You cannot keep him here. And you cannot risk losing yourself to one another. So you quickly gather yourself up, and gather him up, and you remember who you are, and remind him who he is, and before the flows of the sea meant to cleanse you both can do any more damage, you fling him free.

Parts of each of you tear off and are lost forever to the sea as you separate, and there is no time to mourn their loss.

You hold tight to yourself, and you prepare to wait for eternity.

The third time, you are on another world, in a manner of speaking. It is not where you were born, but it is a place you call home, and you will defend it with your life.

You ought be more careful with your heart.

Once more, you had a shoddy plan, which was, once more, better than no plan at all, which was better than planning to let them all die, which is what his plan was, and so you let yourself go.

Another spur of such fiery impulse!

Once is an event, she would say. Twice a coincidence, she would sing-song. She would ask if you intended to make this a pattern, but for trips to the aetherial sea, this establishes that, so the joke is on her.

Though for impulse, well.

She may be right.

And you sink once more. You shed your false body, and you wonder idly what that means.

You want to consider your observations. Perhaps the body is merely the form of a soul in the material, much as a bubble is the natural form of air under water, much as you are the natural form of who you are under the aetherial sea.

You would give anything to be able to have this conversation with her.

You see the aetherial sea so much clearer now, being of it as you are. Azure blues drift to darks as you flit downward. It is much the same here as you are perhaps too familiar with back home, but this time you are an experienced hand at this, and you do not have another to contend with. It is easier to focus on yourself, keep yourself whole, keep yourself tight, and focus.

You are bare once more. The nakedness is more than physics, it is reality. You can tell no lies here, not to anyone else, and certainly not to yourself. You are who are, and you cannot run away from any aspect of that, and you wonder idly how few people could keep themselves here.

Because you know yourself fiercely, and you protect that knowledge jealously.

And that knowledge serves as bulwark against the aetherial sea, which wishes to unmake who you are in favor of what you can be, as it does to every soul that passes through it, as part of the endless cycle of the lifestream. You cannot escape that fate, should you spend too long down here. You know this. In front of you lies the infinite horizon, beyond which no woman can speak.

And as you float down, you know it will grow darker to your perception, even as it grows lighter to your soul. You know that eventually the only paths out will be in your past, and that infinite horizon will be all of your possible futures, growing closer.

But not yet. And not this time.

And now.

You find yourself in liminal space once more. Well past pattern, she would say, and you would roll your eyes gamely at her under other circumstances.

You are not well known for your humor. She is not well enough appreciated for hers.

You find yourself once more shed of everything except the very core of who you are, and you are faced with a decision.

Do you dare to share any part of yourself with another?

You could keep to yourself, and perhaps you should, but that is not where your impulse leads you. On that other world you learned to embrace shadow, and if you are shadow, then she is light, brilliant light, and though you could exist without her, and her without you, the contrast between you two is sharp and each of you more defined by the other.

You may have never lied to yourself, but you had kept parts of you hidden from all, and now, you are here.

Dare you shed that last part of yourself, and let yourself be fully seen?

Why, 'tis hardly no question at all.

After all, the fire of your impulse has yet to lead you truly astray.

And who knows what new truths you may yet uncover this way?

You shed one last layer away.

#ffxivwrite2023 #final fantasy xiv #shed #202309-09 #biot writes #y'shtola rhul

[spacedlexi]

Would love to hear u talk more about Clem and Minnie mirroring one another if u haven’t already 🦅

i have Not >:) cracks knuckles

talking about minnie can be hard since she Really only exists in eps 3 and 4. eps 1 and 2 keep the twins pretty mysterious we only learn a few things about them. i think the most important thing we know about them tho is that they (or at least minnie) provided a sense of relief for the ericson kids. tenn saying how minnie would sing them "dont be afraid" when they were feeling scared. i think its safe to assume she wrote the song Specifically to have a way to make the other kids feel better when things were rough

when the twins die the kids lose this emotional support and we can tell its been hard on all of them (some more than others). but then in comes clementine. our girl whos been carrying the "light in the darkness" motif since season 1. and although she got that shit a little dirty in seasons 2 and 3 (ava going off in s3 about how clem and aj are light and hope and shit so we're still supposed to see it (and recognize that clem has become so Dark in s3 without aj)), she got her light back when she got aj back and she'll die protecting him

clem (and aj) fall very quickly into the hole the twins left. now its clem who makes them feel safe. first with finding them food then protecting them against the raiders ("youre our savior clem" "we were more scared than we let on when you met us. you made that go away"). its not an accident theyre put up in the twins room. and with the way violet grabs the frame and looks at it sadly we can even assume clem sleeps in minnies old bed (also the old torn down paintings seem to only be on ajs side of the room and hes got his whole "i wanna be an artist too" thing going on). clem has unintentionally taken on minnies old role of making the kids feel safe and reassured

then we finally meet minnie. and based on how the others described her there is definitely a piece of herself that shes lost (that shes killed). her light is gone now. and although her motivations have been warped, they remain the same. i do genuinely believe she is still trying to protect the ericson kids and do whats best for them, but just in the only way she thinks she can to stop more people from dying. she might even think the pros of living with the delta are worth the cons. clementine is the one teaching them to fight back but minnie knows from experience that fighting back just gets you killed, so she feels like if she can just stop clementine then everything will be fine ("youre the FUCKING problem here" "i wont let you get them all killed" and she does seem genuinely concerned if clem and vi are fighting in the cell. and obviously we know she doesnt want anything to happen to tenn). both minnie and clem want to protect the ericson kids they just have conflicting opinions about which is the right way to do it. but minnie Does show her ass when she ends her "if you just do what they say you can live" speech with "you can be rewarded just like i am" 👀 oh girl... she didnt just give up she gave in. killing sophie was her breaking point and i really wish we knew more about how that scene went down outside of lillys dramatic retelling i would like to see it objectively please. but based on the way lilly tells it, minnie (im sure begrudgingly) accepted her place at the delta before it even came to that, and was probably just pulled along by sophie when she tried to escape. which is probably why (im assuming) lilly gave her the choice to kill sophie to stay with the delta (her New family), and she did... she kills a piece of herself when she does this (only compounded by the twin imagery), and i think her seeing clem fight back reminds her of sophie and brings all those feelings to the surface. and if she can just kill clem everything will be ok, cuz it worked last time....

minnie singing "dont be afraid" when attacking them on the bridge. a song that once brought them peace now being used to herald death. but since she approaches already singing it she was probably singing it to soothe herself as she succumbs to her bite, walking away from the wreckage she blames on clem, her delta family dead (she Did care about them in a fucked up way), using a herd of walkers against them the same way clem used a herd of walkers to attack the boat. all minnie cares about at this point is finding tenn, and she does, and shes gonna take him with her. just like clem looking for aj, finding him, and taking him. but where clem would die to protect aj, minnie wants to kill tenn to take him "home" with her. add to this ajs feelings about ending up alone without clem and wanting to be walkers together if it came to it. this is why tenn dying on the bridge feels narratively fulfilling to me even tho i hate it 😭 tenn wants to be with minnie (and sophie and their parents) and death doesnt scare him. it kinda comforts him. him and minnie dying together here is like the dark fate clem and aj barely avoid

and then vi fitting into this as she became tenns caretaker after the twins left. she also wants whats best for him so her and minerva fighting at the end for tenn is interesting. especially since violet (and louis but he wasnt tenns caretaker the way vi was) can die throwing him over the gap. i like the layers violet adds to being in the bridge scene, and it makes it even more sad when she cant protect him because thats all shes been trying to do since before clem and aj even showed up. plus aj shooting tenn puts violet in a similar position to louis in regards to marlons death

i really love the ways violets route adds to all the minnie and tenn stuff. and the way we can see clems influence change her. how a saved violet is ready to fight with clem but a kidnapped violet believes in minnies goals and thinks giving up is the safest plan for everyone. because regardless if you save her or not violet ALSO wants to keep the ericson kids safe and just doesnt know the best way to do it. clem encourages violet to step up and minnie encourages violet to give up (warping her character growth which is why i cant Not save her 😭 and the betrayal of it all). using violet as a common denominator is another way to differentiate between clem and minnie. then throw the romance on top of that.... you can see why i get a little...Sillay.. this is ALSO why i dont like vinerva in any romantic capacity post the events of ep3 and why i love seeing vi with clem. its what they each encourage in her. minnies weakness, clems strength.... why seeing vi and minnie fight clem makes me want to cry but seeing clem and vi fight minnie makes me jump off the walls LETS GOOO

and i havent even talked about lilly yet.... how if lee took lilly up on her offer in S1 about stealing the RV together clem couldve ended up in her custody.... i definitely believe clem looks at minnie and sees some broken scared part of herself in there. she is Fiercely Loyal and would do anything for her family so if she was raised (or broken) in that environment (and it seems very "ends justify the means" with the delta as it sounds like its actually pretty good over there if you can look past the intimidation and torture and kidnapping) i could definitely see her being the one standing behind lilly in some other universe. its what lilly still tries to do with her but its too late (and so lilly tries it with aj instead which is still a way to get to clem). but clems grown now and shes been making her own choices for a long time. shes already been through this with the new frontier (and hell even with carver at howes). she'd die before she gave in. and minnie made the choice to kill her sister to save herself

even with the little info we actually have on minnie she still works pretty well as a foil to clem. this is why i find it easier to talk about minnie when comparing her to clem like i feel like its her main purpose. i feel like theres still more i could say its just eluding me. its not a coincidence that minnie almost takes clem down with her in the end. why shes the reason clems able to get bit. minnie blames clem for her own demise and she's gonna get in one last fuck you. and minnies fate is one clem is desperately trying to avoid. kinda 👀 to be taken down by your narrative foil

#even visually they put clem and minnie as opposites with clem inheriting marlons bow and minnie using a crossbow (tlou pt2 also did this) #they even give minnie clems haircut given to her by javi in s3 lol which just makes it a clean version of clems currently growing cut #and i cant talk about minnie without also mentioning violet like i Have to they are pretty intertwined she really adds depth to it all #sorry to do this to your dashes but also im not 👁👁 #twdg #anon i hope you didnt think i ignored your message i hope you thought 'oh shes writing an ESSAY essay' #pasting this into word just in case tumblr fucks it up...this is 1430 words 😭 bro why cant i be like this for like important things #replies with lexi #incognito #god i STILL feel like im forgetting shit which is WILD there should NOT be this much to say...yet here i am...

[kikyan]

Imagine reader won some award or got really successful in her own company and the success is going to her head, would yanderes Itachi, Naruto and Kakashi(Separate) teach reader a lesson and tone her pride down a notch?

Yep, Naruto’s would be a tad bit emotional though. I think I’m going to go the route of ‘got really successful in their own company’ because boy do I have things to say about that (personal family trauma no biggie :))) 

You worked hard for the things you have now and you have every right to be happy and feel proud. Yes, you also have a right to boast about it as well. 

“I did this. I managed to get this. I have x amount.” 

The issue started when you, well started bringing people down. “Omg you’re x years old and you still don’t have this....couldn’t be me” I feel like [Reader] would be so invested in their work, the desire to be the best and successful being their only motivation and refusing to acknowledge others. 

Naruto is a pretty laid back person, so I think he’d be the type to invite you and remind you to take breaks. Have dinner with him! Maybe a walk?? It’s good to clear your headspace, I know running a company can be hard. You snap back after he’s been nonstop pestering you, “I don’t have time to do all that, I have to get back to work or else I’ll be doing something stupid like you!” Naruto wants to argue, he probably scoffs and says you’ve changed and that he’s only trying to help. He’d be the type to probably turn off the internet or delete a very important file for you to pay attention to him. No more work, now let’s go on that walk [Reader]. Itachi would be the type to celebrate and reward, you’ll stress yourself and he’d be there ready to assist you. Until you start rejecting that, mocking others and judging everything your friends do. Arguing with Kakuzu who takes on weird jobs for money and how Hidan being unemployed and bouncing from job to job isn’t cute. Telling Deidara that the real world works different and you wont do shit with an art degree, Itachi at some point thinks that while he’s worked hard to help you, you deserve to be punished and realize that while you have something it’s so easy to lose, he should know after all. The difference between him and Kakashi is that he still has some heart to want to help you, so your company experiences some rough landings and it’s enough to have you asking your friends. Maybe you do need them and treating them like assholes isn’t the move. Kakashi on the other hand? No, he’d be the type to have your company burn down to the ground. He thinks maybe you’ve had enough freedom and now you’re becoming delusional. Once your company goes downhill, he’s there ready to help you pick up the pieces, let’s be fr you didn’t think you could actually be something right? It’s better if you listen to him, live a domesticated life where he provides, it’s so much better right? Stay home with him!! 

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto x reader #yandere naruto uzumaki #yandere naruto uzumaki x reader #yandere itachi #yandere itachi uchiha #yandere itachi x reader #yandere itachi uchiha x reader #yandere kakashi #yandere kakashi hatake #yandere kakashi x reader #yandere kakashi hatake x reader #yandere #yandere x y/n #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere headcannons #yandere imagines

[silentmoths]

Which genshin character(s) do you think is best at eating pussy? I vote for zhongli, yae and lisa. Maybe kokomi too

*cracks knuckles* LETS GO HEADCANON TIME For: Zhongli, Kokomi, Childe and Yae NSFW

Zhongli is 100% the teyvat pussy eating champion. He has age, experience and a stupidly long tongue on his side.

Even with new partners, dude knows exactly where to shove that tongue to get you screaming, it's like a sixth sense. Doesn't help his tongue is probably the length of your entire forearm at least.

When he decides to go down on you with his mouth, you're in for a wild ride, because he wont stop at one, hell, he wont stop even when you're crying and tugging at his hair so hard you might rip it out. He aint stopping until your brain flatlines.

Kokomi is our sapphic pussy eating champion. she honestly doesn't care if you drown her because she just enjoys watching her partner lose themselves and while she may not have zhongli's inhuman tongue on her side, she gives off the 'really flexible tongue' vibes.

She's also an experimentor, she'll bully the fuck out of your clit with her tongue until she learns exactly what gets you going the best, and she'll roll with that until you're screaming.

and if you happen to make a mess of your thighs after she's done? she's certainly got no qualms in cleaning you up after (with her tongue, of course!) Childe is agressive, as he is with everything. Him going down on you is messy, full of teeth and hands grabbing your thighs as he digs in. He has no real tact or pattern, but he's a listener, he notes what makes you writhe the most, moan the loudest, and he zero's in on those things like a man posessed.

He sure as shit aint stopping until he knows you're satisfied, whether that be after one orgasm, or twenty. He see's your pleasure as a battle, and he's going to win.

That being said, he knows he can be a bit rough, if the teeth marks littering your thighs are any indicator. Big scary harbinger is also very good at aftercare once his blood settles, so even if you're a little sore, he'll happily sit and cuddle, bring you food, drinks, ice packs, whatever his princess wants.

Yae is a bit of a bully, kind of like childe, she enjoys being a bit rough with her partners. This sly fox of a lady will tease you whithin an inch of your life, she has a sense, she knows when you're about to cum and thats when she pulls that sinful mouth away. this bitch will edge you for as long as she wants, you don't get a say. No matter how much you beg or plead or cry. She'll push you to the point your orgasm almost doesn't want to hit, and then she'll use just a little hint of electro, right on the tip of her tongue like an absolute sadist.

She only needs to pull a single orgasm out of you before you're barely concious, mind you, that orgasm took like, an hour at the very least to obtain. But you do wake up the next morning, swaddled in silk robes and soft blankets, a small plate of dango and glass of water waiting for you.

#Zhongli genshin #Kokomi genshin #childe genshin #yae genshin #Zhongli x reader smut #kokomi x reader smut #childe x reader smut #yae x reader smut #silentmoth writes #silentmothasks #moth is not silent

[whalefill]

Who are your ocs? Tell Me

ok so basically its the early 1970s and people are still under the impression that the deep sea is inhospitable to any kind of life. but then this rando autistic dude named lake is out scuba diving one day on a coral reef along rhode island and he uncovers this HUGE cave

he takes the discovery back to the organization he works for, they run a bunch of tests, and they literally cannot figure out how deep it is. like anyone and anything they send down there has to come back up or they'll never reach the end, bc there is no bottom to this thing that they know of let alone have the technology to reach. they also DO find traces of life inside it which is fucking insane and awesome for science but terrifying to everyone else. it seems ok at first but it really all goes downhill from there. lakes career skyrockets, the cavern becomes a public attraction, there's a religious panic about it because christians think some ocean research institution opened a gate to hell, etc.

lake's story though is mainly about grief. i'm going to write it and release it one day, i'm not sure if it's going to be a novel or what but. anyway. it's told in the form of journal entries, letters, and then statements. sort of laid out like dracula where you watch jonathan harker lose his sanity and then die, yknow. except i havent finished that book so idk

but basically lake is a very very lonely guy, has been his whole life, and the events of the main plot all coincide with different tragedies that fall on him. he's in love with his married best friend/lab partner, he has friends and family that pass away, his job that used to bring him so much joy and fulfillment starts to get too hectic and scary for him to handle ... he just keeps losing everything. he quits work to process it all but the self isolation only makes it worse

and throughout all this, he grows gradually more obsessed with the cavern, feeling some weird connection to it. with every trip he makes down, he feels a call to sink deeper and he knows it's imminent that he will. so in his suffering he decides fuck it. i'm going to die in you!

which he does. sort of. i mean its the only version of the story that makes logical sense. you cant just sink into a hole infinitely and survive, but it's as if he does. because he fills an entire journal with records of what he finds down there, and it's found stained with ink and seawater in his boat he'd taken out. but they never find him, not his body, not his equipment, nothing. all they have is what he wrote

and it's really up to the reader to decide whether they believe what he says. but he finds various colossal fish and other animals and talks about some sort of telepathic link he has with them. i wont go into too much detail because i'm going to make art of them in the near future but they're super cool i promise !!!

essentially it ends with a fucked up, surreal, uncomfortable sequence where sentient deep sea creatures cry to lake about everything wrong with their lives, and all of their experiences mirror his own. so as sad as it is that he "dies", or even just wanted to, by the end of it he realizes how loved he was. and that's really all that matters. even if it wasn't enough to save him. it was still there

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. but thats the gist of it

#asks #anon #lake tag #sorry for the autism i literally couldnt give you a short response if i tried

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Hiya, I just saw your event do you think I could request a spin for Sabo pretty please? Thank you!

Hello love!!! Yes of course I can do this for you!!! When spinning the wheel it landed on first time/loosing virginity. I hope you enjoy!!!

TW: losing virginity, penetration,

WC:624 Sabo x GN Reader: In this moment N/SFW

“Are you sure you want to do this?,” Sabo said in a husky voice. The clothing was laying on the floor next to the bed. Sabo was pretty nervous about what he was doing. He has never done something like this before. His palms were sweaty. He was trying his best not to look so nervous but he was sweating bullets. You expected him to have lost his virginity before you but you shouldn’t have assumed. Both of you were going with the flow. This was finally happening for you and you were trying to stay as composed as possible. 

“I want to do this with you Sabo.” the blush scattered all over your face. Your hands caressing his cheeks, the tips of your fingers caressing the scar on his face. “I’m nervous too. But I trust you. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” 

He looked at you and had a tint of pink on his cheek in his mind ‘they need to stop saying cute things like this’  Sabo nodded leaning down and giving you a gentle kiss. His hands were against the dry sheet. His own body was warm due to the blood flow and becoming more excited. Sabo coated his cock with some of his saliva making sure it went in as easy as possible.  He raised his body up pushing your legs open more, taking a hold of his cock.  He slowly began to enter inside you. You groaned a little and you could feel his cock stretching your hole. Trying to control your breathing, you were blocking the discomfort feeling as he slid more inside of you. “Sabo saw the discomfort look on your face “do you want me to stop?” he asked in a hushed tone. “N-Noo keep going” slightly panting. Sabo continued to push himself slowly still inside of you. 

“I won't move just yet ______” He said in a husky voice as he was completely in you could feel his cock throbbing inside of you. After about a min he began to move in and out of you. He leaned his upper body close to kissing your cheek. 

“Ngh Sabo~~” You moan in his ear. The pain began to dull out and you were feeling the pleasure rush taking over. Sabo Could feel your body wasn’t tense as it was before, the shallow breathing in his ear with a mixture of moaning his name out. “God, you're going to make me go crazy. I don't want to hurt you.  ” He said as he continued at his slow pace. He wanted to increase his movements but didn’t know how you would respond to it.

“You wont hurt me Sabo~~~” You said, kissing his ear lobe. This was his green light with some pelvic movements he began to thrust harder and faster inside of you. Bringing his head down your chest started to suck on your nipple. His hand intertwined with yours as he brought his head back up as he continued to pound into you.

“________” Sabo moaned as he continued to pound you. The rooms were wills with cries of pleasure and exchange of words of how much you both meant to one another. “I promise to always be there for you no matter what ____,  I will always be by your side.”  Bringing his lip back to you he kissed you once more as his hand caressed your cheek. 

The night was full of passion and first time experience. This was something you both wanted to take to the next level and everything just felt so right.  His words stuck with you after the final time he came. From friends to lovers, you never wanted to let your lover go. He was yours and you were always.  

#one piece sabo #sabo #sabo the revolutionary #one piece x reader insert #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #one piece #the witch of one piece #let's play n/sfw event #sabo x you #sabo x reader

[d1gnan]

some thoughts abt aesthetics, the way people engage with my art so far and also stuff youll be seeing from me in the next year..

first off i wanna say im not actually educated on any of this and its all just coming from personal experience/ its kind of just a mad mans rambling

im the kind of person who is always curating, always putting like with like (on a consistently changing/personal/almost random metric that spans like any kind of media , things tangible and abstract, my memories, yadda yadda (everyone does this to some degree but as an artist and an introspective person, i find it hard to just let stuff go once i form a connection. (and im sure a lot of u guys reading this are like this too, tumblr is like The website for people like this) im hyper aware of everything that ever happens to me and im always trying to connect everything with everything else

(forgive me too in advance cause ive never been satisfied with my ability to explain myself and usually i just let everything i do speak for itself/dont bother trying. im really really visual and i usually think of things In pictures too so it just frustrates me to try and describe something thats worth a thousand words..

jewelry came pretty quickly to me as a favorite art form because its a way to convey some of what goes on in my head when i engage with the media i like , being able to turn all these pretty abstract feelings into colors shapes symbols.. a lot of times when i listen to something or watch something, i get almost itchy with the feeling of needing to get the way i percieved it out into the world in a visual and tangible way asap before it loses its original shape or before i forget how it made me feel. (dementia runs in my family so a lot of my art is trying to archive my feelings since i know i wont have them forever.. its almost a frantic need to be seen/known by others before its too late.

a lot of the jewelry ive custom made for people has been specifically music and film related, and thats been a great thing because i can both 1) make something that satisfies my own vision of the thing but 2) it is still easily readable by others as related 2 the source material because the design language usually is distinct enough to withstand being skewed too much by my own personal associations

moving forward tho, i have a TON of ideas for way more personal/abstract/highly conceptual projects, and have been slowly gathering pieces so that i can do full justice to my vision for them.

doing this has first and foremost always been an art form/way to express myself . i do it because of the ideas, i do it because i have to do it, and then im left with a bunch of stuff that i would like way more to be in the hands of someone who relates to it. and, i do it in a way thats not at all good for being a business owner. if i'm going to create a product, i would be going against my ideals if i didnt try to battle with all the things i hate about products. fast fashion and aliexpress craft supplies and mass production.. (to have a successful business you need a lot of the same product, it needs to be easy to make and you need to be able to get your materials cheap. all of which i can't and wouldn't do, so it's a very shit thing to attempt to make a living off of..

maybe this sounds a little funny too when you look at my work and then at what i have to say about it.that i think about it so seriously since it's something any one can do. my kid sister makes jewelry, it's a pretty accesible hobby. the idea of making jewelry based off of media is also the furthest thing from unique, which brings me thinking about the reception of my art online so far, and some weird stuff i've noticed.

when you're making anything that you mention is directly "inspired by" something else, you run into some pretty weird habits from others online, and a kind of unique way of engaging with "aesthetics" thats started in the past couple years. what im talking about now is less movies/music. its stuff that blurs the line between an existing body of work to reference and just a concept. ( y2k, fill in the blank-core, frutiger metro/aero).. i'm really into most eras of these fashion / design trends/aesthetics in a historian/archivist kind of way, and i really enjoy to do work inspired by things like this, but these are always way more personally influenced than anything made for a movie/music. i went semi-viral (feels so dumb to say seriously lol) on tiktok for a frutiger metro/sleepyhead by passion pit inspired bracelet.

i get hate on most posts on tiktok since its a gigantic platform(as well as praise) but the majority of comments always tend to be people correcting the authenticity to the aesthetic ive listed as an inspiration. people way smarter than me have way better things to say on this, and if i tried to go too into detail with it this post would be even crazy longer, but ive seen people call it "what aesthetic is this" culture, (some examples of this: " "this aesthetic is called this, not that" "this aesthetic is from this time frame only" xyz

i never know what to do, because i want to respond by explaining that i see these aesthetic names/labeling system solely as a tool. to help people find and connect like with like. labeling aesthetics is just recognizing a pattern. knowing the "name" of an aesthetic can help you find similar things, but there are no set time periods to any of this unless you are specifically making something that is an exact recreation of something else or making a period piece. everything comes back in some way over and over again. rigidly defining aesthetics is flawed/missing the point because aesthetics are completely individual/unmeasurable/skewed by experiences/memories/opinions. its a little different too when it comes to stuff thats actually like made For marketing cause that Will have an exact language that goes with it or whatever, but most of the time i see people arguing about an aesthetic thats not even applicable. there are genuinely no rules to what fits an aesthetic because anything you create, you add your own experiences to and are effectively continuing these patterns in a new way/ sometimes creating a whole new movement or sub category if you are really into labeling it as something directly. peoples personal art is definitely affected by their time/whatever the common design language was at the time, so thats where a lot of the names get born, but when you make it this rigid thing , "this needs to be more like this.. this needs to be more like that.." you'd be right- but only in the sense that yes, it IS that way, For You. in your mind you experience it that way, it is your personal relation to seeing these patterns. and you can use these aesthetic tools to expand on what was done before you, you can use these images to convey your own perspective so that i can try to understand it.

marketing vs personal aesthetics is a different thing that idk how to tackle with my like super limited language but for example, when someone is using a popular aesthetic to sell you something, you can tell. it's shallow and impersonal. looking back on ads that are dated and use a certain aesthetic usually tinges them with nostalgia that you can take and make into something that it wasn't because you have this priceless new angle to look at it with. if you believe in aesthetics as being this rigid thing, you dont get new ideas, you dont get new sub aesthetics, you dont get new movements, you get a copy of a copy, you get shein clothes. and! anyone can call anything they want an "aesthetic" ..any collection of things together influenced by anything in the world can be an entirely new aesthetic.. and im so sick of typing the word aesthetic

but i know that if theyre commenting something like this, they r so fundamentally different from me/ engage with the world in such a different way then i do that it would be a waste of time to try to explain..

i am a little scared when i launch some of the new projects i've been working on they'll be met with this kind of reaction. maybe ill try to write some kind of TLDR, some kind of zine to send along with any of my bracelets, some kind of manifesto about sustainability/personalization/mindful consumpution.. but it takes a long time for me to feel good about explaining myself, even this post ive deleted and restarted countless times.

ill post some more about some of the "aesthetics " (i gotta figure out better language for this shit i swear to god) ive found inspiring that have heavily influenced these upcoming projects, as well as scans from books ive collected that match the design language and i definitely want to release kind of a companion zine with the collections that include music/fashion/home photos etc...

if u have any thoughts or anything about any of this id love to hear it, or answer questions or expand on shit, this is kind of just like a word version of me throwing mac and cheese up at the ceiling and seeing if anything sticks.

thanks to anyone whos said anything nice about my stuff, i love u guys more than lyfe

and if you read all of this youre a g

💚

#d1gsart #talk tag #artists on tumblr #art #dinner party #dnr pty

[sysmedsaresexist]

Maybe its bad on my part but im native, trans, bi, afab and disabled... Ill never get an actual diagnosis just because of one of those but all 5? No way and tbh... I dont think it'll do me any good other than give me another hurdle when it comes to getting gender affirming care or adopting or even getting treated like an adult. Me and my system are ok and i dont experience distress from my system enough to think i need psychological help.

Idk if i can handle some white ass cishet abled doctor walking up and saying i dont have it and gaslighting me.

I hope this dosent conceded cause thats not my intention but even though im anti-endo, i get their distrust in the medical system and why diagnosis is something many wont persue. 1 because many of them know the doctor will diagnosis them correctly(as having trauma or having something different) and 2 because american doctors are not a safe place like... Ever. If your not a cishet abled white man.

So, a lot to cover here.

I'm white, afab, trans, bi, with multiple partners. I was diagnosed at about 21, and I've been in and out of therapy ever since. I'm also Canadian. Getting diagnosed was the best thing to ever happen for me, and I have several friends with the same experience.

And several who had bad experiences.

My experience will not be everyone's.

I am not pushing for anyone to get diagnosed. Doing so is a personal choice, and a decision that should be made by you, and your therapist if you have one. There are many reasons someone might get diagnosed (access to resources and specific care, financial support, etc) and just as many reasons someone might not want to get diagnosed. You also don't need a diagnosis to get the help you need.

What I DO want to people to hear is: whatever decision you make, do it with the REAL facts.

If you're going to choose not to get diagnosed, don't do it based on bullshit you see or hear on the internet. I made a post several months ago about someone going around saying that a diagnosis will stop you from getting housing, a job, and being able to buy alcohol, of all things, as if you have to present your mental papers to the cashier.

None of those are true. Gender affirming care also can be still be given and received, with an added step of a psychiatric evaluation (which is mandatory in Canada anyways for everyone, regardless of mental health, so if you think about it, you're not really losing anything). You can still adopt and have a family. You can own a home and have a job.

If you take anything away from my blog, it should be this:

Know your rights, and know how to exercise them

There are assholes everywhere, I'm not denying that. There are people who will bend rules and laws and who will use personal information (like diagnoses) against you. I'm not blaming anyone who has had this happen to them, either, as if they should have preemptively known better. No, that's not it at all.

Being aware that it happens, though, know that you have rights-- you're protected by employment, privacy, and human rights laws (yes, even in America, I debunk more American myths than Canadian). You do not need to disclose for work, except for positions in the military, certain healthcare positions, and when working with vulnerable sectors, and even in those cases, not always, and it can't affect their decision to hire you. You don't need to disclose for housing. You don't need to tell anyone anything, and you shouldn't, unless you need reasonable accommodations, and once they have that information, it can't be used against you. Don't let them. Easier said than done, I know, I've let things slide myself that, looking back, I wish I hadn't. Sometimes it's just easier, even if it's not right.

Point is, when in doubt, question everything. Do your own research, find your own answers, look for sources, question facts you see that aren't cited.

When you make decisions for yourself, be certain you're making it for the right reasons, and with the right information.

#syscourse

[tojikai]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I CANT– NO! I SWEAR TO GOD NO 😭😭😭😭😭 IT CANT BE PLEASE NO my anxiety right now is like 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 PLEASE POR FAVOR お願いします WHATEVER LANGUAGE YOU WANT, I BEG YOU NO 😭😭😭😭

SERIOUSLY, this fic is messing too much w my emotions, i dont think i can take it anymore LMAO i got the notification i was already nervous, then i started reading and my heart was beating SO FAST and i now i feel like throwing up and crying damn kkkkkkkk /smiling through the tears/ you rly making me feel all sort of things, im sad but enjoying it too much to complain lol

OKAY. I need to be honest here: i read that ask someone said how they perceived each character and i MAY feel more empathetic to Satoru now lol (ormaybeimjustbiasedwhatever) truly happy to see him working on himself and everything else but bro??? c'mon¡!!!¡!! you shouldn't be so naive atp anymore pls she was even talking to the dragon when you got home, my love 😭😭😭 hopefully she wont get pregnant, or loses the baby, or gets arrested for touching someone w/o consent, or gets in a car accident and dies– anyways, there are soooo many ways it could so i will hope for the best while hoping for the worst too;;; the things you do to me, istg 🥲

Also, Toji's showing too many red flags lol i mean, i can kinda understand him but???? Nah, it's like he isn't even trying to listen and understand the reader 🧐 girl, just take your lil girl and run, all mens are bad atp lol go find geto suguru, he knows how to be a good girl's dad and is handsome too

Anyway, after this chapter i may or may not have wavered as Team Toji 👀 its a bit worrying tbh and im that type of person who thinks "one alarm's enough, im out bye~" so cant be hypocritical here and say i want reader to stay lol but i also dont want reader w gojo bc his hag of a mother is rly unsettling, dont think its a safe environment for her or yui,,, im thinking too much im stopping and let the worry for the next

AH JUST REMEMBERED STH!!! Cant help but feel happy that satoru's father backed him up against his mother 💛 wishing a nice future for this man too bc that woman is tOTALLY INSANE!! Who the hell talk like that abt baby trapping someone???? Damn,,, reader rly should have reported her or sth i feel like she'll keep causing trouble whilst out of jail 😭😭

Muito obrigada for this chapter, was rly a great experience (tho i felt anxious LOL) and actually it always is whenever i read something from you :) hope youre taking care of yourself and having a nice week, be well <3

satoru's father would always have his back. he's literally just there for satoru🥹 he lost his first born already, he's not letting anything happen to satoru too. and yeah, toji really got his supporters torn😭 where he's coming from is understandable tho, but in a rs, it always has to be mutual sooo... yeah, thank u so so much for the support <33 im happy u enjoyed itttt

#🍭—kaitalks #f: sundered

[deepuknownyouth]

My first person game (HAPPY BIRTHDAY) Reviewing my past projects #2

This my second game I ever made called HAPPY BIRTHDAY the game was the first first person game I ever made and I made this game as a first person shooter witch you could fight shoot and kill emery's.

Story Line

The story of my game is one that is very long. Going into this game I wanted to have a lot of lore and back story behind this game as I think this was done very well as I first wanted this game to be about a fight that breaks out in an 80s club because your character is on drugs... However I then realized that this definitely would not fit into the Peggy 12 rule so I scrapped that and came up with something deeper. I changed my idea to a game where you play as a child in witch you are going to your own birthday party however there are monsters there that you need to fight off. And once this is done the game will end and you will have a win screen showing you at your birthday. However there is a deeper meaning behind this game and that's that the kid you play as loves music and is in the 80s however he is lonely and has anzity and depression. So the monster are actually metaphors for his mind attacking him if you win you get to go to your own Birthday party in witch someone does go to your birthday and you win the game beating you angzity if you lose you don't show up to your own Birthday and you let your inner thoughts win. I think this idea was great and added a lot to the game infarct this is propyl my favorite thing about this game is the back story and lore behind the game. I really think I did great at creating an interesting and deep lore to my game.

The Bad Things

Now lets start with the made things about my game. To start with this game was a big time crunch as I did make the very bad mistake of at the start of this project over focusing on the games art I made a lot of assets and art for my game that in the end I never used this is because a lot of them didn't fit into the games world and had to be cut I also made my level far two big there for a lot of it in the end was very Barrion and had little to nothing in it. The game also did really have much sound aspects to it witch was supposed to be the whole point of the game in the first place. The enemy's could not kill the player which made for a deferent but all be it fun gameplay experience. The games level didn't have a start screen and the games level didn't have a roof over the building you play in. I also in general had to cut a lot of content from the game its self. The game at some point was supposed to even have enemy's that shoot back at the player but all of this was cut from the game due to time. My game had a lot that should of been in it and I wont lie this game was the most stressful game I have ever made because of the time it took to try and get everything done.

Good Things

Now like I said before the best thing about this game by far is the story I made for the game. As I do really think it cover an important issue really well. I also did really love the design of my enemy's and the world as a whole I thought looked really good and I over all really enjoyed making the world of HAPPY BIRTHDAY. also must say I did love all the assets that I made and loved the creation proses of getting them all into the game. I loved my gun witch was literally a hand gun/finger gun. The games end screen is also great witch I loved and thought was great.

#Youtube #game review #video games #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #tag game #the hunger games #gaming #videogame #fps #video gaming #my gameplay #my game screenshots #sunset valley #pleasantview #sims 3 #gameplay #mods #horror #horse #new game! #tumblr fyp #fypage #fyp #fypツ #fypシ #foryou #foryopage #viral #view

[thepatronsaintoffarewells]

I lost ten people to suicides and overdoses before I turned 28, some I was closer with, others to a lesser degree, all that I wished that I had more time with. My sister had attempted. My mom had attempted. I had attempted. I had friends that were still using and lovers that made threats. It was very hard for me, at the time, to see a way through it all. I clung to my friends that remained. I wanted to erase all our collective grief and sadness. It felt like no one else wanted that, or no one else saw it like I did. It can be very hard, to love an unwell person so fiercely. It can be harder when that person is yourself.

There's a scene in a Robin Williams movie, What Dreams May Come, where his character journeys through the depths of hell to save his wife who had committed suicide. When he realizes that she won't leave on her own, he makes to stay there with her. I used to think that it was really beautiful to love someone like that. I think in my own life that I always wanted to be the kind of person who could stay and bear it. I didn't want to leave anyone alone. What I found in practice though, was that the more obstacles I cleared for a person, the more room they had to cause harm. They call it enabling, right? It went even further than that though. I wanted to experience it with them. I wanted to be able to let go and really feel things and maybe even wallow a bit. I wanted to get splitting drunk and numbingly high. I fantasized, sometimes, about being so awful that no one would miss me, like it would lessen the blow if I killed myself. But I'd feel so terrible and I could never really do it because I also wanted, so badly, to be loved.

I had a friend that I told everything to. We would go up to the bar and he would drink and I would spill my guts. We talked about really painful things like how when my ex had attempted after we broke up I was struck by the realization that I had never felt so loved. I told him I was suicidal. They say you're less likely to go through with it if you tell someone and I didn't really want to kill myself I just wanted everything else to quit. He cried into my hair after I drove him home that night saying over and over "I love you, please don't die." It's fucked, but it's one of my fondest memories from that point in my life.

I got my shit together, to a certain degree, by learning how to walk away and when to leave. There are a lot of people that I love or had loved that aren't in my life anymore. I had to learn how to let them go, how to say goodbye and be at peace with it. In the beginning, I didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. You make peace at the funeral or you don't. I got mixed up wanting to save people I had already lost by sacrificing my own happiness to the people that were still there. The thought of losing anyone else was unbearable, but I learned that leaving is more than just self preservation, it's a gift to both parties.

People will make their own decisions and possibly find their own happiness with or without you. It's not that you aren't responsible for them (you also aren't) it's that you don't have enough control in the outcome. Picture it like being a passenger in a car. Someone else has control of the wheel, the gas, and the breaks. You can direct them as much as you like, but it is their hands and their feet that are making the decisions. You can beg them to not crash the car, or you can get out of the car and hope they have enough sense on their own not to crash. If you, like me, have been in many metaphorical car crashes it's more than grief at that point. It's an injury. You wont find an end to your grief until you figure out how to tend to your wounds.

Because sometimes you are the driver and it's your own decisions that may cause you to crash. Somewhere in me is still the 21 year old that wanted to kill herself. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, she'll surface. I can't be mad at her for it, I remember the things she went through and the things she did to feel like she had any control. I didn't always love her, but I think I'm learning to now. More importantly, I've learned that it's okay to leave her alone. It's okay to grow beyond her instead of joining her. She did fine, she made it just enough to make room for the person I am today, and I think if she was really here, she would thank me. Her friend had told her that she needed to learn how to hold her own hand, how to be her own solace first. That advice got her through a lot, but I think I would tell her now that it's also okay to let go.

I know you might be in different place and that there may not be as much time and distance between the parts of yourself you haven't yet learned how to love. Maybe you're in danger of crashing your metaphorical car, or a part of you wishes for it. It doesn't make you a bad person. We are all made up of complex experiences and thoughts. The people that love you will give you the space to air the worst parts of yourself and they will be there when you are done. I know because I've done those things and I am still very much loved. I have been destitute. I have been a drunk and abused drugs. I have wanted my own death. I have loved people that did not deserve it and been treated badly for it. I have treated those that loved me badly. When I was going through it, I was unable to see a future in which it would ever end. I thought I would always be grieving, that I would always be lonely. But at the end of all of that there was always something more. My sisters had their babies. It was the perfect day outside. My nieces and nephews were growing like weeds. An old friend had reached out. I had people that loved me, that supported me whether or not I needed them to.

The thing that has taken me the longest time to learn is how to be supported and how to be loved. I had a friend who was once very good at saying the things I needed to hear. He called me out on all my bullshit and, more than that, his love was the scaffolding that helped me repair myself. He told me once that the only thing holding me back was me. I grappled with that for a long time and even as I began to understand it, I was still angry. I hated myself for it, and then finally I looked back at the root of who I was before the loss and the anger and the shame. I found the pieces of myself that I had buried in an attempt to protect them. I found a person in me I could love and I watered her like a seed. Somewhere in you is that same seed. We can water it ourselves, and sometimes if you let the right person in, they can water it too.

#open letter #depression #substance abuse tw #suicide tw #loss #self love #growth #self help #advice