#like the short season length ngl

[cheollipop]

take a break

navi | taglist

pairing: choi san x fem!reader

w.c.: 2.6k

tags: smut, fluff

after days of isolating himself in his room to study, you offered to help san relax. you forgot one thing, however -- that choi san has always been better at giving love than receiving it.

warnings: soft dom!san, praise, oral sex (m & f receiving), fingering, masturbation, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex (boooo 👎), creampie, impregnation/breeding kink, overstimulation, slight cockwarming, nicknames (sannie; baby, angel, darling, love, treasure)

A/N: this fic came out of nowhere ngl, I was planning another one and then BAM- over 2k words of filth -- some of the dialogue in this made me short-circuit. I hope you enjoy! ^^ <3

nsfw under the cut - minors dni!!

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You peeked through the open door into San's room, your gaze fixing on his slumped shoulders as he typed away at his laptop. The final week of the semester was always the hardest on him, his assignments piling up just before exam season. He'd often isolate himself in his room for days, and you'd have to spoon-feed him his meals when he refused to look away from his laptop. He was mumbling to himself while his fingers tirelessly punched at the keyboard, deleting words and sentences and replacing them with ones he found more appropriate.

You smiled to yourself, pushing yourself off the doorframe and walking towards him. His body jolted when you placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Shit, babe, you scared me," his hand flew to his chest, his heart beating rapidly under his palm.

Your smile widened. How cute, you thought. "Sorry," you kissed the tip of his nose. Taking in the redness of his eyes, probably dry and painful whenever he blinked, you pulled the eyedropper from behind your back. "Lean back," you muttered the instruction.

"There's no need-"

You raised an eyebrow at him, and he stopped his sentence, leaning his head back against the headrest. Your smile returned for a second before fading to make way for your tongue to peek out in concentration. Your fingers were gentle against his eyelids, holding them open while dropping the liquid into each eye. You pulled away and screwed the lid shut while San blinked rapidly.

"Thank you," he grabbed your hand, swinging it back and forth twice before bringing it to his lips and placing a tender kiss over your knuckles.

Your heart felt warm at the gesture. You ran your free hand through his hair, smoothing down the disheveled locks.

"Why don't you take a break?" You suggested, looking down at him with big eyes – you hoped they would convince him.

"Ah, baby, I really shouldn't," he sighed, looking back at his screen. "It's due in two days and I have so much left to do; I haven't even finished it, let alone proofread whatever I managed to write already-"

You watched as he began to spiral, the stress staining his expression, so you pinched his chin between two fingers and moved his head away from the screen to face you again.

You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Smiling, you lowered your voice so only he could hear you – despite there not being anyone else present. "I've missed you, Sannie. Won't you let me help you relax? I promise it'll feel good."

You saw, in real time, as the hesitation in his eyes disappeared, replaced by excitement when he took in the meaning behind your words.

"Okay."

--

“Fuck,” he threw his head back when you licked a stripe up the underside of his cock – standing hard and throbbing against his lower belly.

You looked up to meet his eyes, fluttering your eyelashes at him as you glided your tongue over the throbbing vein stretching over his length – he almost came right then and there. You were taking him so well, licking at his tip teasingly, his shirt hanging off your shoulders and adding to the visual. He wondered if it would still smell like you even after you washed it.

His thoughts were interrupted when you finally took him into your mouth whole, relaxing your jaw until he hit the back of your throat. San’s hand flew to your nape, tangling in the hair there and pulling harshly, but not enough to pull you off – the pain egging you on.

“Holy fuck, (Y/n), my love. Your mouth- god,” he let out a throaty moan when you swallowed around him.

Your hand reached down to cup his balls, fondling them while you drew him out of your mouth until the tip was leaning against your lips. The corners of your mouth curled, smiling at San’s flushed cheeks, his eyes heavy and lidded as he stared right back at you from where he was leaning against the headboard. San’s hand reached forward to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth against your cheekbone, touch so delicate you almost forgot you'd had his cock down your throat less than a minute ago.

"My beautiful baby," he breathed, his eyes soft as he took in your features.

San bit down on his bottom lip when you took his cockhead into your mouth again, giving it a firm suck and smiling when he groaned. You flattened your tongue against the underside of his cock and slowly took his length down your throat, nuzzling your nose into the soft skin at the base. You sectioned your cheeks, your eyes tearing up as you tried not to gag around him, his cock twitching uncontrollablely in your mouth.

"Fuck, (Y/n) wait, wait-" San's hands cupped your jaw, pulling you off him, a string of spit connecting you to his cockhead. His cheeks were flushed, chest rising and falling rapidly as he gazed at you with hooded eyes, glazed over with lust. "I almost came, shit, sorry. Give me a second."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "That's the point, no?" You breathed out a laugh.

His mouth curled into a mischievous smirk. "Not yet."

With deft fingers, San flipped your positions, stripping you of your sweats and panties and throwing them off the bed before sitting back on his heels to take you in – dressed in nothing but his shirt. With his hands cupping your knees, he spread your legs in front of him, nearly growling at the glistening arousal dripping from your pussy – the tight ring clenching and unclenching around nothing.

"What a-are you doing?"

"It's your turn now," his eyes were fixed on your middle, clicking his tongue when your legs closed around it. San parted them again, met with a little resistance, his hands sliding down your inner thighs teasingly.

You sat up the best you can, pouting as heat creeped up your face when your eyes flitted down to San's cock – painfully hard, the tip red and angry where it stood against his lower belly. "But I'm supposed to be making you feel good."

San smiled, dimples dipping into his cheeks while he looked at you fondly. "Oh baby, when do you ever not make me feel good?"

You weren't convinced, closing your legs again and trapping his hands between them. San narrowed his eyes at you, forcing your legs apart yet again and placing himself between them.

"Saaaan," you whined, your knees bumping against his shoulders.

“I thought you said you missed me.” Leaning over your lower half, he kissed down your thighs, leaving a trail of bruises, some darker than others. "Just let me have a taste," he muttered against your skin, his words interrupted by kisses.

"San, stop being a stubborn shit!"

"Have I told you how hot you are when you're angry?" San giggled when you huffed, falling back against the bed with a plop once you realized that he wasn't going to give up. His lips strayed down to place kisses around your mound, not quite close enough to where you need him. "So, what do you say, hm? Can I?" He pressed his lips to your clit, flicking it once with his tongue. Your breath hitched, heat soaring through every nerve in your body.

As per usual, he had won this battle, and he would probably win the next one with only a single sweet smile.

You reached down to cup the back of his head and pushed his face between your legs, his tongue not wasting a second to lap at your folds, swallowing your nectar with a low moan. With his thumbs digging into the skin at either side of your cunt, San spread you out and circled his tongue around your entrance, dipping his tongue in teasingly before moving back up to suck your clit into his mouth. His fingers found your hole before you could complain, stuffing you with two of his digits and curling them to press against your walls until your back jumped off the mattress.

“San- Ngghhh, right there, fuck,” you fisted your hands in San’s hair, pushing his face further into you.

He tongued at your clit with vigor, his eyes closed while he nuzzled his nose into your pubic bone. The sweet noises you were making only incited San to go harder, punching at your g-spot with every thrust. His other hand had long since strayed down to pump his cock, moaning against your clit when he squeezed at his tip, smearing precum down the rest of his length. His hand moved sloppily over his cock, his high only a breath away with the way you were clenching down on his fingers.

“Oh, fuck, San- I’m-”

The vibration of San’s moans as he came into his fist sent you over the edge. Your thighs shook around his shoulders, fingers tugging painfully at his hair while you rolled your hips over his flattened tongue and reveled in the slow pump of his digits inside you as you rode out your high. San slipped his fingers out when your knees pressed against his shoulders in an attempt to close, your hips moving away from his mouth as you began to feel overstimulated. With a final kiss to your clit, San pulled away.

You took in each other’s appearance – you, your cheeks a bright red, panting heavily while your thighs twitched and quivered as you recovered from your orgasm; and him, your arousal dripping from his chin, his eyes hooded and glazed over with lust, his thighs painted with his own cum while his cock twitched where it hung between his legs. You reached a hand out to him and San didn't waste time climbing over you and slotting your lips together, making you taste yourself on his lips. San’s tongue ran over your teeth, then found your own before he sucked it into his mouth. His hips rolled against you, his cock already half-hard where it slid through your dripping folds; your body jolted when it brushed against your sensitive clit.

“See what you’ve done to me? ‘Cumming all over myself before I even got the chance to fuck you properly.” He covered your parted lips with his own, muffling the broken moans he pried out of you with every insistent grind of his hips. “How will you take responsibility? Hm?”

You gripped his shoulder, digging your nails into the skin when shocks of overstimulation brought tears to your eyes, shivers running through your body. “San, S-san, wait- please, give me a second-”

“Mmm, I- ahh, I don’t think you can wait any longer, my darling.” San kissed over your jawline, running his tongue over the shell of your ear. His cock was now fully hard, heavy against your cunt as he continued his unrelenting pace. “I think you still miss me very much.”

--

Your legs shook where they were propped up over San’s shoulders, his cock pounding into you frantically while he bit down on your nipple, nuzzling his nose into the soft flesh around it – bending your body in half so you could take him properly. You were already out of breath, San’s cock pushing so deep inside you and pressing against your g-spot with every forceful thrust. He kissed his way up to your jaw before peppering kisses all over your cheeks and nose, breathing out airy moans in between.

“My love, my sweet girl, you’re taking me so well,” he kissed over your parted lips, taking in the pretty melodies you were expelling. “Such a perfect pussy, hahh- so fucking tight.”

San gripped your thighs, pressing a kiss to your knee beforee bringing them down from his shoulders and wrapping them around his hips to allow his cock even deeper into your heat. You reached for him, and he instantly leaned down so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing your chest to his while his hips continued thrusting into you, slowing to a heavy grind before drawing his length out to the tip and slamming back in.

“San, Sannie, feels so gooood- hnnngh,” your eyes rolled to the back of your head when San’s hand slipped between your bodies to toy at your clit, flicking it at the same pace as his thrusts.

"Louder. Let everyone hear your pretty voice, angel,” he pressed wet kisses over your flushed cheeks. “Show them all just how much you missed me."

His fingers on your clit circled around to grab a fistful of your ass, guiding your hips to meet his thrusts and watching your skin ripple at the impact. “Good god, I’m going to fill you up, stuff you so full and have you carry my children. Would you like that, treasure?”

“Yeah, yes, please. Give it to me, Sannie. Ngghhh- Make me pregnant, make me a mommy, p-please!”

Broken cries slipped out of your mouth as San hammered his cock into you, feeling it twitch and throb between your walls while he came. He fucked his cum into you while two of his fingers worked your clit, his thrusts desperate as he tried to bring you over the edge with him. He buried his face into your neck, groaning and grunting as he overstimulated himself, fucking into you with urgency.

“Fuuuck, baby, please- please, shit, cum for me,” he pressed his hips into yours, shoving his cock as deep as it could go and pressing the tip against your sweet spot, his cum seeping out of your abused cunt.

San chanted praise into your skin, emitting a hearty groan as your pussy clenched around him when your orgasm finally washed over you: your vision blurred, toes curling as pleasure flooded your body and sent your nerves into overdrive. San remained still, leaving you to ride out your high at your own pace despite being overstimulated himself. He sprinkled soft kisses all over your face – from your chin, to your cheeks, delicately over your closed eyelids, then up to your forehead before moving back down to press gentle pecks to your lips. When you slumped down against the mattress, a sheen of sweat illuminating your skin, San pulled back to look at you. A fond smile adorned his lips and the dimples you loved so much decorated his cheeks, his eyes soft as they took in your content expression.

“Hi,” he spoke, voice so soft you felt a wave of warmth surging in your chest.

“Hey,” you giggled, bringing him in for another kiss – the slow movement of lips, I love you’s whispered against each other’s skin like a prayer.

“(Y/n), baby,” he muttered while his mouth strayed down to your neck.

Your fingers carded through his locks, sighing when he sucked at your sweet spot. “Mm?”

“Not that I don’t love being inside you, but I can’t really pull out when you’ve got me trapped like this,” he chuckled into your neck, kissing over the blossoming bruise he'd left behind.

Your lips curled into a timid smile and you wrapped your limbs tighter around his figure, warming his softening cock between your walls. “Mm, good."

You clenched down on San teasingly, giggling when he hissed sharply, your laughter getting louder when his fingers began to poke at your sides. “You little- let go of me!”

“N-no!” You squirmed under him, gasping for air as he continued to tickle you.

His fingers stopped their ministrations after a few seconds and he smoothed his hands over your waist. “What if I promise to stay here and cuddle with you for the rest of the day? Will you let go of me then?”

Your eyebrows shot up, “what about your assignment?”

San cupped your jaw, his eyes full of love as he looked down at where you laid under him, so beautiful after he’d had you. How could he ever deny you anything?

“It can wait. It seems I've been neglecting my pretty baby and now I gotta make it up to her.”

apply for my tag list here (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

#choi san #choi san x reader #san x reader #choi san smut #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez x y/n #choi san fluff #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #kpop #ateez #choi san scenarios #choi san imagines #choi san fanfiction #kpop fluff #kpop smut #ateez san #san

[negamekos]

Various games Himaruya has worked on: a small compilation

(Warning: 3/4 of them are horror games)

With my newest hyperfixation now being visual novels, I've recently turned my attention to some of the visual novel-style games Hima has made in the past. There's a few super short personal project ones like Noto-sama and Cleaning Prussia which he made in pre-anime adaptation times, but I just want to share the more notable/interesting ones I know about.

Gakuen Hetalia (2011-2012)

You've probably heard of this one. Given that it was released in the early seasons of the anime adaptation, it has that art style, for better or for worse. I honestly thought the existence of this game was a joke when I first heard of it but no it's a real game, developed by the one and only Otomate and released for the DS and PSP. It's an otome game with Seychelles as the protagonist, and is fully voiced. From what I've heard about this game, there's not much romance and has mostly platonic interactions. Also Gakuen AU.

Since this is pretty much a game adaptation of the anime, this is probably the one that Hima least had a hand in making, as compared to the ones I'm about to talk about. Still a neat game in its own right.

The Hetalian Horror Show (2015)

Another one you might have heard of if you browse Hetarchive, which has a partial translation for this game. This one's a fairly short free game set in the Gakuen AU (again) with Bulgaria as the protagonist. It's basically about a couple of the nations gathering to tell 'scary' stories (whether they're actually scary varies). Features highlights such as:

Robul moment

America casually revealing Classified Government Secrets

Bear Grylls

Iggy bullying

Low-key nsfw illustration of Bul butt-naked and tied up

And a twist ending you will not believe! (not clickbait)

Like the other free games he's made, Hetahorror is completely made by Hima (even the background images were taken by him). You can download the game here from his blog. And Hetarchive's partial translation is here.

Now here are the non-Hetalia ones (which I think are a little more interesting)

Apathy Midnight Collection: Volume 1 (2007)

See those characters in the top right? That's Hima's art. Yeah. This game is a horror anthology game released all the way back in 2007, with three different stories and each having different writers and artists. The first two stories are the longest (apparently they have over a hundred different endings combined), and if you look around I think you can find some posts about them, they're quite interesting. The one Hima did the illustrations (and direction) for is the final story, Hashira no Kizu (or Scratches on the Pillar), which is the one that I heard leans the hardest into the horror atmosphere, and is quite different overall from the other two stories.

If you're curious about this game, you can purchase it here on BOOTH, and you can find an English fan translation here.

By the way, this game is a retelling of sorts of a much older game (from the 90s!) called Gakkou de Atta Kowai Hanashi (Scary Stories at School). Which leads me to this game...

Inaka no Gakkou de Atta Kowai Hanashi (2014-2016)

This is a full-length visual novel made by Hima's doujin group Shimaoka Kenkou Land, and it's a homage to the aforementioned Gakkou de Atta Kowai Hanashi. It's pretty similar in setting to Hetahorror (in fact that game was probably inspired by that too), with students coming together to share their horror stories. It's very atmospheric, with a lot of ambient noises and background images which really drive home the 'inaka/countryside' part of the story. Hetahorror had shades of this too, so consider this a 'deluxe' version lol. Except unlike the Hetalia one I feel this game is actually pretty scary ngl...there's a lot of comedic moments, but also just as many genuinely gruesome scenes (I'm not kidding, some of the images are quite violent)

I only played the demo (which can be downloaded from the same page as the Hetalia game), and man the stories really range from 'I saw this lady walking her dog and holding a cute plush toy from afar so I asked if I could take a picture of it, but it turned out it wasn't a plush toy, it was a bag for dog droppings' to 'my friend and his entire family were mauled to death and it wasn't an animal that did it'.

The full game apparently has voice acting too, but this was a super-duper limited release (like it was sold in Animate stores for less than a year back in 2016) and I really liked the demo so I'm just considering getting it second-hand at this point. It's so obscure I can't find much info on the game in Japanese, much less English...

Just to show how atmospheric it felt, I have here a recording of part of the game which I can't stop replaying (sorry for no audio)

Anyway looking at the games he made really makes me wish he had the time to make one nowadays....he could probably make an amazing official Hetaoni horror game and I would pay real-life money to play it. This has been a PSA.

#well this got long #why did i write this noone's gonna read this #seriously that last game is crazy I want to play the full ver so badly #hetalia #aph #hws #hidekaz himaruya #visual novel #apathy midnight collection #gakkou de atta kowai hanashi #should I bother tagging characters #hws germany #hws italy #hws japan #also #horror game #long post

[bumblesimagines]

I've spent days trying to figure out what to do first so....

I've been flipflopping between all of these unable to choose which one to complete and post for you all. Some of these will be longer than others (such as the SE one) while others will likely be decently short (FAF one until a new movie comes out).

The Last Of Us - Our Flickering Light

Joel Miller x M!Reader (TW/CW: Violence, zombies, big age gap in a romantic relationship (Y/N is in his late twenties fyi))

Following the adoptive son of Frank and Bill, (Y/N) will set off to help Joel on his mission to get Ellie to the fireflies and find a cure to save the world. Along this journey, (Y/N) will develop a good friendship with Ellie and eventually a romantic relationship with Joel. Depending on how they approach season 2, this fic may be contained to just season 1 and a part or two that take place between seasons.

Daisy Jones and The Six - Money and Glory

Camila Dunne/Alvarez x M!Reader (TW/CW: Infidelity, mentions of addictions, drug mention)

Following Teddy Price's adoptive-but-not-adopted son, (Y/N) is a rockstar at the peak of his career. With adoring fans and undeniable talent, his producer and father figure, Teddy Price, wants him to take a chance on a fresh band named The Six. However, turbulent friendships and rivalries are formed, and it isn't long before he finds himself in a sticky and complicated love square between a married couple and a certain impulsive redhead.

Sex Education - As You Like It

Maeve Wiley x M!Reader (TW/CW: Vulgar language, sex talk obviously, drug mention, SA mention, mature topics, teenage angst)

After being forced to leave America and follow his mother to the United Kingdom, (Y/N) enrolls in Moordale Secondary School where he quickly becomes acquainted with the school's 'bad girl', Maeve Wiley. Similar humor and opinions lead them to forming a close friendship, but platonic feelings soon become romantic and they're forced to navigate the unknown world of love and trust.

Bridgerton - Peonies and Camellias

Daphne Bridgerton x M!Reader (TW/CW: Enforced traditional gender roles/opinions, men being men, missed signals and mixed signals)

Nobody's surprised when the known hopeless romantic, Daphne Bridgerton, falls in love with her childhood friend, (Y/N). After years of quietly pining and envisioning a future together, Daphne finally sees her dream come close enough to touch when she finally enters the social season as a proper woman. But, it seems destiny's playing tricks on her and she's left frustrated when her friend can't seem to take the hint. So, she enlists the help of the Duke to help win the heart of her beloved.

Fast and Furious - Thicker Than Water

Fast Crew x M!Reader (TW/CW: Gun mention, war crimes being done ngl, lotta cars, familial issues, angst)

When Jakob Toretto emerges from the shadows and puts himself on the radar of the Fast Crew, Dom is forced to join the fight and put an end to his brother's mayhem. But Jakob's not alone. Working with him is a younger, quicker, and equally as ruthless young man and the two become a formidable duo. Amidst the chaos and fighting, Letty is forced to confront a secret she'd long buried: the son she abandoned who's back and on the side of the enemy.

I have other fic series in mind but their lengths are unknown thus I can't add them to this poll as I don't want to accidentally do a really long fic without doing the promised Sansa Stark one first. This list includes Alicent Hightower x M!Targaryen!Reader (HOTD), a Artemis Crock x M!Reader (Young Justice), a Rosalie Hale x M!Reader x Emmett Cullen (Twilight), Tommy Shelby x M!Reader (Peaky Blinders), Cassie Howard x M!Reader x Maddy Perez (Euphoria, Double Trouble remake), and Hargreeves x M!Hargreeve!Reader (The Umbrella Academy).

#bumbletalks #i promise to actually do what the poll says this time #maybe #highly likely but #maybe lmao

[nalyra-dreaming]

I think how tied DV with lestat's killing scene. They said that DV was to make it believable that Louis killed him (or at least slit his throat). But there's theory that Claudia killed him, right? NGL at first I thought it's truly Louis but lestat's last words written by Claudia "put me in coffin, Louis" in French while we don't hear it. It's suspicious. So I think while there's definitely DV there's no fall part and therefore no Louis trying to kill lestat? I can definitely see Claudia killing lestat even if he didn't drop Louis.

Well, I mean, it's clear that "Murder Night" did not go as Louis told it, and I've said it before, I highly doubt Claudia would have left them alone...

So yes, I do believe it went more like in the book, namely her doing the stabbing and Louis standing by, paralyzed. We'll see.

The DV, the anger, the temper was there from the beginning, it is in the books, it was cranked up until there was no way people could ignore it anymore. It is one of the reasons why this show excited me so much, because I saw it at the dinner table, at the funeral procession (and I even commented on it in the notes to "Love the rolling thunder", lol). I saw that they would dare.

Lestat is a very complicated character (just as they all are, actually). He may seem typical and one-dimensional, but that is because that is what Louis described him to be in the first book... for reasons. The show chose to follow that journey the books take there, and I applaud them for it, but it doesn't make it easier for the audience.

If they hadn't cranked up the DV until it really HURT (everyone) some people... would not have understood why Claudia tried to kill him.

But it is very clear in the books that Lestat understood her. He clearly says that he might have done the same, too, if he had been in her position. To be trapped into a too young body, for eternity, condemned to killing and eternal night... Lestat understood why Claudia tried.

So... whatever they choose to revisit with episode 5 will be met by backlash I think, but (and I have spoken about it at length), I also think that while the fight (which is based on a canon fight they have) itself happened, the "fall" itself may not have happened. Though some kind of fall could very well have happened. I theorized in my fic that Lestat might have thrown Louis out of the upper window after that short reprieve in the coffin room (where he must have held him to the coffin, as there are dents in it after matching two sets of locked arms) and that would then match the falling nightmare twitches Louis tells about.

Again, I've said it before, I don't think Louis is a "liar" per se, but he is not telling the (whole) truth either, he is telling a tale, and for an effect. And for reasons. And some parts of this tale... this story, is a story that has been told to Louis. By Armand. And that is a factor and likely what will change some? or a lot? of things in season 1.

So yes, the DV had its reasons outside the story and inside the story... but the truth will be a lot more complicated I'd wager. Which... doesn't negate it, just sayin'.

The Vampire Chronicles are not ... harmless I would put it. They go to places, everything and the kitchen sink is in there. And the show... chose to put its fingers into the wounds presented, while elevating it to a whole new level. It's complicated. And... it will stay that way.

#Anonymous #asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #tw abuse #tw domestic violence #tw dv

[andnatiabrosca]

Hello! :)

So… What about

Glance, Formal and Favourite for Nat and Maran? :3 (and Miriam too if you'd like, I'm curious!)

hello!! sorry for asking for asks and immediately disappearing. we had a massive tomato harvest in today (multiple 5gal buckets massive) (last of the season) so I was unexpectedly processing that all day!

anyway. here goes! I haven't thought about maran in a hot second ngl

[prompt list]

cut for length because this became a bit of a character study as usual

glance: at first glance, what stands out most? what's their distinguishing feature?

Nat is stupid short. Dwarva are short to start with; Nat is short for a dwarf. She had tried to make up for her stature by taking her marks for her carta clan bolder and earlier than most, and wearing her conquested jewels (her locks) proudly in her ears and face. Prove she was worth fearing, even if she was small. She's still first noticed to be short.

Maran has bright silver hair. When she was little, she had been towheaded. Her hair had darkened over the years, as most towheads do, though she always preserved a few white-gold strands. Until the Conclave. When she woke from whatever funny business had taken place, her hair was a metallic silver. It does gradually fade through the events of Inquisition, coming close to returning to her natural dark brown with white-gold strands - but the events at Adamant turn those white-gold pieces permanently metallic silver.

Miriam is a Hawke. I mean, she's a Fereldan apostate mage with no fear and a disastrous ego. It's more a question of who is looking at her than what is universally most noticeable. She wears her kaddis, sure, despite not having a mabari to partner. She wears much less clothing than most of the Marchers, being so used to the colds of Lothering. She carries her fuckoff big staff with a bloody statue on the end of it. She has lightning scars up her arms. It depends who's looking.

formal: what's their formal look? do they like dressing up? do they have different looks for different occasions?

Nat has struck a delicate balance of Paragon and Commander in her formal dress. Technically she ought to dress according to her most relevant title at any given function - but she is not a thousand disparate Natias. She is Warden Nat Brosca, Commander of the Grey, Paragon of Duty to Orzammar, Advisor to the Throne of Fereldan, and Sister of the King of Orzammar. In broad strokes, as I still want to get an actual sketch done sometime, she wears the veil and gems as befit a Paragon and Warrior of Orzammar, and her formal warden blue and greys. Nat enjoys demonstrating her power. The clothes...not as important. In time, putting on her formal uniform becomes a ritual to center herself in her body before she has to go Be The Hero.

Maran knows how to dress well. She knows how to dress for an occasion. She enjoys the feeling of rich fabrics. Enjoys the drape and flow. Enjoys feeling correctly feminine - and a little like an imposter. Like she's playing dress up in her older sisters' dressers. Like she's stolen the fine silks and broad skirts and any moment her mother will catch and scold her. Maran loves to play the lady she should have been raised to be, had her parents fewer daughters to marry off and better matches to be made. But it will only ever be playing.

Miriam will not wear a dress. Nope. Not doing. So she fails at dressing formally (or even appropriately) in most contexts. Good thing no one argues with the Champion. (The last argument might have ended in an irate noblewoman slowly thawing off the side of her Hightown mansion. Maybe.)

favorite: do they have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? what is it? what is the meaning? do they always wear it or store it for safekeeping?

Nat is pretty simple - her oath. She has places she could store it, if she wanted, but it doesn't feel safe to leave anything she cares about away. Her oath hangs around her neck, every moment of every day. When she leaves to find the Cure, she adds a scrap of fabric tied around the chain. She's a terrible mother. A scrap of her daughter's blanket reminds her to come home, better.

Maran hasn't seen her favorite dress in years. It was once her grandmother's wedding gown, carefully cut and sewn and embroidered with snowdrops along the hem. Then her mother's, the sides let out to accommodate a just-couldn't-wait growing stomach. Then her sister's - and her sister's - and her sister's - and her sister's - and her sister's. Then it was too big for Little Mar. Then she wasn't enough of a lady. Then she took herself to britches - and then she left home. It might still be in her mother's cedar chest, waiting for a white-gold bride. It'll have to wait another twenty years, if it is. Maran has been a bride already, in muddy boots and heavy blue woolen britches, a snowdrop hastily (Badly) embroidered on the hem.

Miriam would never admit to enjoying anything ever. She's kind of a bitch. And horribly mentally unstable. Probably would do better if she could allow herself to feel joy not related to murdering templars and/or fucking her possessed boyfriend. Is that boyfriend Justice or is it Anders? Your guess is as good as hers.

#birch answers #greypetrel #oc: nat brosca #oc: maran trevelyan #oc: miri hawke

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 00 PROLOGUE (pages 01-26 )

Maester Cressen of Dragonstone refuses to take his retirement lying down, instead, he'll take his retirement lying down. Meanwhile, Stannis's pursuit of the Crown is off to a shoddy start.

-

The maester did not believe in omens. And yet... old as he was, Cressen had never seen a comet half so bright, nor yet that color, that terrible color, the color of blood and flame and sunsets. He wondered if his gargoyles had ever seen its like. They had been here so much longer than he had, and would still be here long after he was gone. If stone tongues could speak... Such folly. He leaned against the battlement, the sea crashing beneath him, the black stone rough beneath his fingers. Talking gargoyles and prophecies in the sky. I am an old man, grown giddy as a child again.

Sounds like he's having a nostalgia fueled rewatch of Gargoyles. (That's a cartoon that ran from 1994-1997 for you young folk.)

Speaking of prophecies in the sky though: That description of the comet's colour really captures the up coming events in a nicely vague way. Fire, blood, and sunsets. (fire and blood being obvious, but 'sunsets' as in those things that happen right before the night falls~)

When pylos returned the girl came with him, shy as ever. Behind her, shuffling and hopping in that queer sideways walk of his, came her fool.

Ah! Patches! The guy they struck from the show completely and... has some kind of prophetic madness? Or at least he spouts nonsense that sounds like it could be prophetic if you know everything that's going on? Which kind of brings up its own thing about evidence and conjecture and interpretation done to fit know facts...

AND SHIREEN!!!! Hi baby girl~

"I had bad dreams, Shireen told him. "About dragons. They were coming to eat me." The child had been plagued by nightmares as far back as Maester Cressen could recall. "We have talked of this before," he said gently. "The dragons cannot come to life. They are carved of stone, child. -"

Hmmm *squints suspiciously* gimme a sec, I just wanna ... check a family tree... and a prophecy...

Okay, I know I said I wasn't here to drop hot takes, but I can't just let a crack theory this fun slip past me: Shireen Baratheon is Azor Ahai!!

I'm sorry, but Cressen's inner monologue really wants us to know this place surrounded by the salty is is smoky AF.

"- It was the Valyrians who raised this citadel, and they had ways of shaping stone since lost to us. A castle must have towers whenever two walls meet at an angle, for defense. The Valyrians fashioned these towers in the shape of dragons to make their fortress seem more fearsome, just as they crowned their walls with a thousand gargoyles instead of simple crenelations."

Okay so, are the ways "lost to us" like Egypt's trade partner's location and the recipe for Roman concrete was lost to us, because everyone thought it was obvious so no one wrote it down and then ... events transpired, or because the Valyrians didn't share their stone working technologies and... events transpired??? (So either way everyone who knew died out. Also: we've (and by we I mean an international team doing science) figured out the recipe, it was sea water, not fresh water~) Also, also, ngl, this castle sounds epic, I want to steal it.

"If the gods are good, they will grant us a warm autumn and bountiful harvests, so we might prepare for the winter to come."

I would love to know the logistics of the seasonal cycles, like I know GRRM has said it's magic, BUT. Is Autumn a proportional length of time? Like if summer lasts for X years then Autumn lasts for xx% of those years? What if the Autumn is really short? Can it be as slim as a few months? Weeks? Days?

What are the measurements the maesters are collating and comparing? day length? average temperatures or rain falls? And how do seasonal plants grow? There are some real world plants that need their sleep between seasons, like there's one fruit tree that literally cannot refruit until it has experienced at least a brief (but uninterrupted) period of cold (winter) weather. The logistics George! GIVE THEM TO ME!!!!

"It is always summer under the sea," he intoned. ... "Under the sea it snows up," said the fool, "and the rain is dry as bone. -"

hmmm, sounds kinda like underwater volcanic regions.

There was a single chair in the room, carefully positioned in the precise place that Dragonstone occupied off the coast of Westeros, and raised up to give a good view of the tabletop. Seated in the chair was a man in a tight-laced leather jerkin and breeches of roughspun brown wool.

I want this tablemap also. "Roughspun"= 🥛 First drink of the book~

"- That Lysene pirate Salladorhor Saan will be there with the latest tally of what I owe him, and Morosh the Myrman will caution me with talk of tides and autumn gales, while Lord Sunglass-"

OMG Hei Yanjing is in this?! Crossover crack is back in the- Oohhhh, Sunglass not Sunglasses. My bad, never mind. "- mutters piously of the will of the Seven." ooh, yeah, definitely not the guy I was thinking of.

"Why should I avenge Eddard Stark? The man is nothing to me. -"

Oohh, he doesn't know Eddard tried to get him the throne~

On the bottom shelf behind a row of slaves in squat clay jars he found a vial of indigo glass, no larger than his little finger. It rattled when he shook it. Cressen blew away a layer of dust and carried it back to his table. Collapsing into his chair, he pulled the stopper and spilled out the vial's contents. A dozen crystals, no larger than seeds, rattled across the parchment he'd been reading. They shone like jewels in the candlelight, so purple that the maester found himself thinking that he had never truly seen the color before.

oh, oh, oh, oh! These are, um... Tears of Lys? Strangler? The, um, the poison crystals that are in Sansa's purple wedding hairnet. I mean not the exact same ones, obviously, (probably,) but it's the same stuff? I think?

All the world knew that a maester forged his silver link when he learned the art of healing - but the world preferred to forget that men who knew how to heal also knew how to kill. ... In the Citadel it was simply called the strangler.

Strangler, that's it.

... hmmm, should I add maester chain metal meaning to the drinking game? 🤔

Around her throat was a red gold choker tighter than any maesters chain, ornamented with a single great ruby.

And rubies. They also cropped up a few times in the first book. (mostly in relation to Rhaegar getting the snot beat out of him at the Trident, iirc.)

"A man your age must look to where he steps," Melisandre said courteously. "The night is dark and full of terrors." He knew the phrase, some prayer of her faith. It makes no matter, I have a faith of my own. "Only children fear the dark," he told her.

It's not the dark you need to be afraid of, Cressen, It's the things hidden by it.

"It is not too late to spill the wine, maester." "No," he whispered hoarsely. "No." "As you will," Melisandre of Asshai too the cup from his hands, and drank long and deep.

Kind of wondering if this futile effort by Cressen was actually an intended self inflicted death. If part of him knew his mind was going, understood that he was being removed from his post before he died at it, and thought "no, I don't want to die like that. I'll die doing something for my son."

He had to know he wasn't walking away from this, even if he'd managed to kill Melisandre, some part of him had to know it. Right?

Alas poor Cressen, we only knew you for a chapter, I'm sure you were just out there doing your best.

-

Experimenting with indents in the quoted passages. I just thought it might make the text blocks a little easier to read. That's why we have them in books after all. (unlike computers and digital copies where a few hundred spaced paragraph breaks don't matter much and don't turn a 500 page book into a 600 page book.)

I've also changed my profile pic to reflect the current book~

#a clash of kings #a song of ice and fire #a chapter a day reading #acok #asoiaf

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. Am I just dumb or do the lo fans who insist we "see" how powerful Persephone is are actually lying? Because sure we'vr see big trees and once or twice seen "wild" vegetation, but have we ever actually SEEN her use her powers? and no the AOW doesn't count since that wasn't her actually doing it willingly (such a dumb retcon). IDK it seems like we've seen more instances of  Hades using their powers all the time yet we've never actually seen the supposed "chosen one" Persephone once use her own.

2. It's so frustrating how there's no reflection on Rachel nor the fandom's part for how Eros is depicted. When he's around Persephone he starts acting more "feminine" and even gets design-wise to look more "feminine" with his posing, eyelashes, beauty marks, and slimed down with more androgynous clothes, but as soon as he's with Psyche he's depicted as much taller, muscular, and in darker more "manly" outfits with chiseled features. I don't even think it's intentional, but it's very hmm induing.

3. At the begging of LO RS made it seem like Persephone didn’t have many friends or that her friends were kinda just spies for Demeter so she kept them at arms length, where we’d see that Artemis is suppose to be her first “real friend” and I guess Eros too? But no this whole time she had dead flower nymphs that didn’t get named almost 200 episodes in; and after mentioning said dead flower Nymphs Persephone wants to watch Hades’ first meeting with herself where she was naked/he was drunk so they can have a laugh. 

4. NGL I want RS to cover the Trojan War bc I want to see what absolutely stupid ideas she'd put into it but also I just know she'd make Helen hashtag Empowered™️ by wanting Paris and being complacent in the deaths of thousands and be weirdly anti Menelaus who is clearly the bad guy here but also she'd make sure Helen's "beauty" is in comparing her to Persephone because of course you can't have anyone be hotter than her. I can see it vividly and it's horrendous.

5. I mean idk making LO be 100 give or take episodes would have probably been for the better. Im not saying it couldnt be a bit longer than that, but she's basically restarted the whole story 200+ episodes in, so there's really no excuse to claim she HAD to have all these episodes when other popular webtoons got their stories done in a good way without such an excessive amount. IMHO A short but strong story is so much better than a dragged out, weak story like LO has turned into.

6. TBH I'm surprised LO hasn't done a "cancellation' plotline yet. I can see it now, Hades ranting the media is trying to ruin Persephone's reputation and trying to take away all her prospects and shaming her for the harmless crime of mass murder. Probably throw in some "it is misogyny to critique her" for good measure and with zero reflection as he's in his massive mansion as he gets rich off ongoing slave labor. I feel like just off her handling of Thanatos we'll get it eventually.

7. I was going to say why is there never any gay renderings of HxP only to remember than one MLM comic on Canvas that just rips off LO down exact plot points and the only major WLW version i've seen was a book so hyper violent towards Persephone (with female Hades?? loving to abuse her??) and hateful of Demeter it actually made me sick to my stomach. Anyway outlaw HxP retellings i've had ENOUGH 🗣

8. the fans claiming "rachel is giving persephone a CHOICE" which like for one, who says she has the authority? but even then she's still, you know, a fictional character, she doesnt have agency by the mere fact she's fiction, so at the very least it has to be written into her character to make choices within the narrative, but rachel doesnt even do that? stuff just HAPPENS to persephone and she doesnt react, she's just yanked along. rachel doesnt even write her to make choices, she just exists.

9. its funny rachel claims LO is some empowering feminist story when its like, even barring the clear fact its NOT, the "feminism" is basically the "more 👏🏽 female 👏🏽 CEOS 👏🏽"logic of not actually fixing old power structures and creating equality. the system doesnt need to change, it just needs to be more accessible, which doesnt actually fix anything. making persephone be another CEO doesnt make it suddenly feminist, she's just now profiting from an unfair system like the men already do.

10. People are calling Hades "Persephone's husband" 🤡 yes we all know how it will end but at this point he is merely a guy she knew for 3 weeks 10 years ago. Calling him husband is ridiculous.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

[magentagalaxies]

Yay for Kids in the Hall fans. If you haven't already been asked: 💃🛼

yay kids in the hall fans!!! it's been so cool getting to find new people through this ask game

💃Which actor’s female characters are your favorite?

probably bruce (he's very pretty as a girl and i'm obsessed with the "bruce girl renaissance" that happened at the beginning of season 4 where he played at least one female role in every episode for a long stretch. also obsessed with tammy)

her mind <3

tho also in the spirit of me accidentally writing essay-length ramblings about scott thompson maybe i should write an essay about my observation that most of scott's female characters have this "arrogant yet supportive" quality to them where they're very self assured but also hype up the character they're with in almost every scene. like just thinking about how cathy looks out for kathie, or maudre looks out for jocelyn, or hell even the unnamed female characters in the mouth congress song "two hot girls." idk if it's a conscious writing thing (i was going to ask paul bellini about this when i interviewed him but i forgot lmao) but idk i just find it very sweet. also my mom's favorite kids in the hall character is fran (she's quoted the salty ham sketch all the time since i was a little kid) so yeah. my answer is bruce girl supremacy but scott girls are special too

🛼Opinions on the revival season?

I loved it!!! Of course, there are a few things that annoyed me but tbh judging from interviews all of those things were either caused by the pandemic (they wanted to bring back the live audience but couldn't with covid restrictions, if they get a season 7 they're adding back in live sketches) or amazon's censorship. so yeah the circumstances surrounding it certainly prevented it from being the best it could have been but all things considered i'm so happy it exists and the kids have honestly only gotten funnier with age. combined with comedy punks, this whole kids in the hall revival is what actually finally motivated me to dive into kids in the hall last summer (combined with the fact that i didn't have anything better to do lmao) so i'm very happy it exists

specific opinions:

opinion on the opening: i loved it, the brain candy commentary was great and i loved that they dug them back out of the grave from the finale. also hi bellini!

opinions on the dicks: not the funniest sketch but also i didn't hate it/wasn't grossed out by the nudity. it was okay.

opinions on the new buddy cole: this is a dangerous thing to ask me lmao do you want me to write a whole essay on this man for the fourth time???? but long story short i cried when he got his bar back and i truly hope we see more of him soon

opinions on the zoom call sketch: i thought it was a very funny premise and very well executed but holy shit that was the most awkward thing i've ever watched with my parents in the room

favorite new sketches: imaginary girlfriend, inside a kevin mcdonald sketch, doomsday dj (of course)

favorite recurring character sketches: fran and gordon (i laughed so fucking hard every single time i watched it i love them so much), also ngl scott was absolutely beautiful as francesca fiore

thing that annoyed me most: i never liked the "friends of kids in the hall" segments. it always felt way too SNL which is not what i come to kids in the hall for. some of the cameos were cool, but i deserve to be on that segment more than pete davidson (hashtag get magentagalaxies on kids in the hall revival season 2!! i mean come on i'm already a "friend of bellini" /hj)

apologies for the essay but thank you for asking!!

send me an emoji for kids in the hall opinions

[thatnamelessblogger]

Bones Season 7 (2011) Thoughts

miss the magic 3D modeler Angela had in season 1 that was basically magic

Daisy is still annoying

Cams hair gets worse every season lmao

Sweets gets more field time! 

so weird that Parker didnt make it to most of the season, even though he has a new half sister. apparently hes been in england? since when?? def missed it when they explained

tbh formula is growing so old, esp the salem-witch-like “id talk to .... “ when confronting the first suspect

Palent tech villain plot line is actually really good and is not resolved! 

Shaw is back! shes cute idk her role tho. scared she gon die

more thoughts under the cut!

07x01 The Memories in the Shallow Grave

wow Bones is pregnant pregnant! like fr. i read Deschanel was actually pregnant cause its way more clear than Angelas pregnancy

so weird to just see Booth x Bones in a relationship like finally

cute Booth running to Bones on the floor scene :) 

07x02 The Hot Dog in the Competition

Bones to Booth - “you have no money” LOL prob bc he dropped it all on his engagement ring to Hannah which he threw in a river 

omg im Hodgins .  i like Finn after the python incident LOL

i dont like them replacing Squintern Vincent like this tho :(

07x08 The Bump in the Road

yeah i dont like Finn again . dating Michelle ? nah fam that aint right

07x13 The Past in the Present

guy who replaced Booth is sus . aaa Bones is on the run from Pelant!

finally a great cliffhanger!

Ending thoughts

def a better season. maybe all the other seasons should be this length lol 

#bonestv #bingewatching #crime procedural #booth x brennan #booth x bones #summary #recap #review #season 7 #hodgela #sweets x daisy #like the short season length ngl

[sarah-yyy]

Jie jie you watched so many things over the weekend! I can't keep up! Where do I start?

oh man this long weekend was so good in terms of drama-binging, i watched so many cute short dramas!

(as usual, i don't watch my shows with eng subs, so idk how the subs are?? also i've tried to link y'all to the shows with eng subs where possible, but these are not the places i watch them, so idk how complete they are :/ if there are better places to watch these lmk and i'll update the links for people who are looking!)

her royal highness - 11/10 rec - sub!bodyguard who wants princess jiejie to eat him up?? SIGN ME TF UP FOR THIS!! if you can only choose one thing to watch, watch this first ohmygod. like because it's a short drama, the plotty things get resolved really quickly, so it's really just the tropes condensed down to its essence *chef's kiss*

the killer is romantic - 10/10 rec - mr and mrs smith but period cdrama?? ALSO SIGN ME TF UP FOR THIS!!! y'all!!!! this was also all the tropes that i love in one short drama 😭 i could've watched sixty 40-min eps of this tbh

the emperor wants to dethrone me every day - 8/10 rec - fl travels back to the time before her entire family died; system makes her marry the 9th prince (who previously ordered for her entire family to be beheaded) and help him become the emperor - also tried and true tropes that we enjoy on this blog!! the rivalry and banter between the two main characters are super cute! (this is the same male lead from her royal highness, no i do not have a jin chao problem.) this ends on a cliffhanger (which i did not know about rip me), so if that's not your thing, skip this!

fake princess - 8/10 rec - female bandit gets threatened into assuming the identity of the pm's (dead) daughter and marrying the taizi (to spy on him) - also a delightful watch! i was mostly here for the taizi going from "hmmmm suspicious" to "i cannot live without my wife" bits ngl, and didn't really care about the fight for the throne. this one is a full length show (which i didn't realise until i was already invested rip me again), so it's longer than the rest of the recs, but also super easy to watch!

the queen of attack - 7/10 rec - writer transmigrates into her palace harem novel that she based on her and her irl bf - y'all know how this goes!! not too many surprises, but i did like that they went through a few time loops, which were basically like aus to the main show! that was fun! there are two seasons, but it's a light watch <5 hours altogether

contractual love - 7/10 rec - guy hires random lady to pretend to be his missing sister to make his dad happy, but ends up falling in love~ - again, usual tropes, but fun to watch! the leads are cute, and the side characters were delightful!

can y'all tell that i spent my entire long weekend indoors ahahahahahaha ANYWAY these are the better ones i watched, outside of like literally all the shorts i could find of jin chao/qi xiaxia!

#if you have to choose watch the first two!!!! #TRUST ME BUDDIES WHEN HAVE I LIED TO Y'ALL #tv rec #cdrama

[1kook]

disney+ & bust

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.  warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!

notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER

please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3

previous part: kissanime & foreplay

Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.

He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.

Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.

And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.

On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.

You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.

Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)

He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.

The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.

As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.

“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.

Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.

Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.

However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.

Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.

You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.

All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.

“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.

Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.

You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”

Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.

“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”

He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”

Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.

You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”

You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”

From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”

You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.

He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.

The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”

You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”

The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”

It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.

With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.

Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.

Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.

Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.

So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.

Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.

All men do is lie.

Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.

You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.

You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.

Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.

Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.

Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.  

You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.

You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.

Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.

Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.

You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.

You don’t laugh.

Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.

“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.  

Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.

You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.

“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”

For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”

Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.

You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.

When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”

At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”

You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”

“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?” 

“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”

He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”

You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.

Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”

You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.

Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”

“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.

You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.

A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.

The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.

“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.

It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”

“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”

“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“

“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”

With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.

Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.

“No,” you respond.

You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.

As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.

Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?

You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.

You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care

—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.

You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.

There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.

It’s not.

It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.

The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).

He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”

You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.

“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.

Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.

By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?

You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.

“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.

“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.

“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”

His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.

Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.

Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.

“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”

“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.

He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”

You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”

“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”

You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.

Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”

He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.

When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.

With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.

He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.

By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)

Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.  

Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.

You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.

Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.

You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”

You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.

The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.

You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”

Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”

His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.

Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”

You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”

He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”

You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.

“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”

Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”

His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”

He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”

Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.

Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.

Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”

You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.

He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence. 

Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.

Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”

“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.

“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”

Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”

“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”

Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.

You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”

He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”

After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.

You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.

Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”

You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.

“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”

A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.

“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.

“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.

You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”

He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.

Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”

Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.

You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.

“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.

While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.

The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.

Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.

Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.

And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.

(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)

But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”

Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”

Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.

“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.

Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.

A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”

“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.

“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”

His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.

Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.

Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”

You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”

Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”

You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.

“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.

“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”

You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”

Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”

You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”

Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”

Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”

“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.

Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.

Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”

“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”

“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.

You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.

He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.

You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.

“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.

You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”

Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.

You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.

Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.

Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.

Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”

“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.

Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”

He loves you so much it aches.

“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”

A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.

You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.

Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”

You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”

Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”

A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.

With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.

“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.

“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.

It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.

There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.

A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.

“Impossible,” he scoffs.

Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.

“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.

You nod. “Please.”

He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.

You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.

“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.

Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”

epilogue

commercial break one ; the resolution

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#goldenclosetnet #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jeongguk smut #jjk smut #jeongguk smut #bts smut #jjk♡ #jeon jungkook #mine

[mrskurono]

Schweiden Sex Education: Intercourse || Wakatoshi Ushijima x Fem!Reader

Tags: mention of insecurities, vaginal penetration, slight size kink, soft sex, creampie, sex bruh

Character(s): Wakatoshi Ushijima (hq)

Word Count: 2.2k

a/n: this will be the final installment of this mini series, ngl it ended up more popular and more touchy feely than I thought it would. thank you everyone for reading <3

part (1) (2)

inter·course /ˈin(t)ərˌkôrs/

noun; sexual contact between individuals involving penetration

“Do you hate her?”

Ushijima blinked a handful of times at the voice going unregistered to him. Korai of course had to repeat himself.

“Do you hate our manager or something?” The second to newest Schweiden member craned his neck around to look at the same lady talking with the captain, “I mean...even since I started last season it seems like it but I dunno, do you just hate her or something?”

No longer the new guys, Ushijima still felt confused on what his teammate meant, “Why would you say that? I’ve never said that.”

Korai shrugged. White haired man taking the ball from his bigger mates grasp and chucking the volleyball at the real newbie coming into the gym when Tobio arrived. Korai gut laughed when the dark haired man didn’t catch it and only wasted a little more time before wiping at his eyes to look back at Ushijima with what he’d just said, “You spend so much time staring at her. Thought maybe you hated it her since never talked to her.”

Ushijima’s brows pinched in the middle with the deepest furrow, “I never said I hated anyone.”

Once more with a shrug Korai figured he’d drop it, “Well man, if you don’t hate her. You must have one hell of a crush on her then.”

The word rung in his head when you said it.

Sex.

You were naked under him. Rightfully so after his first attempt to bring you, or any woman, to an orgasm. He should feel proud if not a little smug. All he felt was nervous. 

“Ok....sex,” You inhaled deeply now that most of your senses was collected. The real thing felt a lot different than your own hand and the same scenario being lit up on the tiny screen of your phone. Slight tingle from that orgasm you were wondering if you had been that hard up for a hook up. Dashing that from your mind you refocus on the Schweiden player before you, “I mean...I guess there’s not a lot to say about it. I’m sure you’ve seen porn or Korai I’m pretty sure played something off of Pornhub in the locker room at least once.”

That light anecdote didn’t seem to tear the man’s concentration away from you. Leaving you to wiggle a bit and get higher up on the bed. Thinking maybe he was going to follow. Ushijima remained staring at you with that all too familiar look on his face. A look you recall years worth of seeing from across the gyms at practice.

Without warning it dawns on you, maybe he doesn’t actually want to have sex with you. A feeling nothing short of claustrophobic when it hits you. The tingle you’ve felt since the locker room fizzles out with vigor. You’re exposed. Silly. Regretful. Suddenly to recount your words.

“I mean-” You stumble over words falling from your lips while looking up at him and trying to cover some part of you, “We don’t have to- Um Ushiwa- Uh Ushijima- I uh it’s fine if you don’t want to we can just forget this-”

“I don’t hate you.”

The slur of words from your mouth catch. His surprising you more. You stop trying to cover yourself with what little blanket you can up root. Instead your brows furrow uncharacteristically at him at the foot of the bed.

“What?”

Olive eyes dropping from you it’s the first time since he joined three years ago that you saw him actually break eye contact first. You’re nothing short of surprised when Ushijima, still naked, sits back on the edge of the bed. Easing up on the need to cover yourself. You realize he’s talking about something entirely different.

Brows pinched together you ask again what he meant. Crawling towards him now. Kneeling beside him unsure if you should lay a hand on him or something. His face seems complacent like normal but with the way he sounded. It just didn’t sound right to you.

Ushijima lifts his gaze to meet your naked body right next to his. Of course he couldn’t tear them away from your form before him. All those times he’d stared at you over the years. Only now realizing he’d been trying to think what you looked like in this exact light.

“...I...Korai thought I hated you,” He confesses in the weirdest manner. Finding the one thing he couldn’t take his eyes off of wasn’t your naked body. But your face, “I don’t....I never did. I just- I think I love you and it might have been my fault if I-”

Cut off directly by the feeling of your lips against his. There’s a spilt second the man doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Only to be thankful when he felt your hands gently take his and place them on your sides. Getting the gesture Ushijima curled his broad arms around your bare waist just as you curled your own arms around his neck. Delaying the need for a breath in the passionate kiss until finally neither of you could hold out.

“Lets make love instead,” You mutter against his lips. Feeling for the first time Ushijima trying to push back into the kiss like he wasn’t ready for it to end just yet. Drawing your fingers down from the nape of his neck. Small circles over his collar bone to dip down between his well defined chest, you look up at him and smile, “...because I think I might be in love with you.”

Nothing short of a glimmer in the otherwise deadpan expression. Ushijima for the first time since the locker roomer took a kiss from you. Not just taking it. He downright kissed you back into the middle of the bed. Lips never leaving yours it was barely any fumbling as he scooped his big hands under your bottom and pulled you into his hips. Leaving you to hold onto his shoulders as the urgency of the kiss translated over to your movements together.

Sooner than later you felt his cock rub against your inner thigh. Only breaking the kiss enough as you kissed his cheek and the corner of his mouth with a breathy whisper, “Put it in...please, I want you to do it.”

Nodding there wasn’t a question to be asked. Ushijima understood more than anything where he wanted his cock to go. You telling him only sealed the fact he craved no one else.

Gripping his cock there’s a second when you adjust your hips and allow his length to slip up between your soaked folds. Earning a pleasant moan to bubble up between your lips. Any other time you might have been worried to take someone so big. But that was the last thing in your mind right now. Consumed with need all you could think of was the stretch of his cock inside you.

Rewarded with the real thing faster than anything else. You gasp. Making him stop half way to which you panic and tell him through a loud moan to keep going. Ushijima can’t stop but sink his thick cock down to the base in your sopping wet cunt. Nothing he could even imagine prepared him for this.

“W-Warm-” The low rumble of a moan echoed in his chest. Ushijima unsure what to do pushed his lips back onto yours. Just the way your walls clenched around him and you engulfed his senses was ethereal to him.

“Move....how you wanna,” You whisper against his lips, “I want you to fuck me like you’ve been wanting to all these years.”

There was hesitation. You were right he had seen porn and what they did. But none of that seemed desirable. Right now all he wanted to do was feel you. Consume you. Make every fiber of his being tingle with your body.

Slow to start Ushijima began rocking his hips into yours. Each movement earning more than just a lowly moan from you. Assured that it was wonderful by your praise and touching all over him. Soon it became a need for him to snap his hips into yours. Watch you squirm under him, mouth agape and eyes locked onto him. Everything intoxicating to every single sense the man had.

“ ‘gonna cum-” You bite back a moan as your hips bounce with each forceful thrust, “I- I think I’m gonna cum-”

“Please-” Ushijima buried his face into the crook of your neck, panting, thrusts hard and deep as he felt himself approaching a familiar feeling, “Please cum- I want you-”

Tongue gliding over your parted lips and swallowing the knot in your throat. It’s nothing like the knot growing in your stomach. Boxed in completely by the enormous man above you. It’s hardly possible to snake your hand down to your clit. But when you do your free hand gripes the back of his neck as your fingers dance around your already sensitive bud, “I- It’s too much- Fuck-”

For a split second he wonders what is too much but that is dashed when the shudder in your body starts at your toes and every inch of you twitches under him. Sealing the deal for Ushijima when he feels nothing short of heaven when your cunt tightens around him in a way no mouth or hand could ever mimic. All that stamina in the world for nothing when he pushes his hips into yours. Desperate to follow your lead.

Rutting into you as deep as he can until the warm gush of cum overflows into your cunt. You’d never felt anything so intimate yet even as his lips found yours to kiss you. The twitch of Ushijima’s cock with each spurt of cum had you moaning into the kiss like a virgin all over again. 

Both of you breathing harder than expected into the kiss. Finally came down from the high. His cock still buried in you and most of your body limp under him. You take a moment to swallow as you look up at the man before you. This time he was staring but you didn’t feel the need to turn away. Instead you smiled at him with a little giggle. And for the first time in nearly four years, Ushijima smiled back at you.

Minor Epilogue ;|

“Where’s Ushiwaka?” Korai dribbled the volleyball as he looked back towards the locker room.

Tobio looked up from his bottle after fiddling with the lid, “Hirugami didn’t say anything?”

White brows pinched together Korai bounced the ball as high as he could manage and huffed, “This is day three! He’s late and we get to wait for him!”

“You could just practice with Romeo and Sokolov before he comes.” Tobio offered without much concern as he grabbed the volleyball before Korai could catch it.

“Don’t break the lights Hoshiumi!” Hirugami shouted across the gym as he caught sight of one of the second youngest Schweiden harassing the volleyballs.

Grumbling to himself Korai snatched the ball back from Tobio, “Of course Hirugami-san!” Content with dribbling the ball at a much more manageable height, Korai looked around for a short stint at attendance, “You notice our manager has been late recently too?”

“And?” Tobio shouldered his duffel bag without a chance of even feigning interest in his teammates rant.

Brows still pinched Korai glared out at the double doors of the Schweiden’s gym, “I bet they’re hooking up. I bet- Look!” Korai skidded to a stop mid sentence when through the double doors it was the late Schweiden in question. Undoubtedly with their manager at his side. Like a detective Korai pounced on the chance to interrogate them but that was lost among the chaos when all of the Scweiden team witnessed Ushijima lean down and give their ever so wonderful team manager a kiss on the lips.

That’s when all insanity broke loose. 

Korai was on them like stink on shit. Tobio and Toshiro ready to intercept Korai before his rabid-ness scared the new love birds away. Tatsuto wanting a better look at the drama amongst the crew. Leaving Fukuro and Nicollas to exchange glances at each other as they hoisted up the volleyball net.

“Is that Ushijima and y/n?” Nicollas peered over to the bustling drama at the front of the gym.

Fukuro, minding his own business, nodded, “Think they’ve been going out for a while now.”

Smiling as Ushijima’s face seemed stone serious as ever and y/n’s face flush red as the white haired Schweiden had some serious question, Nicollas laughed as remembered that feeling, “Ah young love....wish there was an educational course one could take when learning the affairs of the heart.”

Fukuro snort laughed and tightened the bindings on the net they’d be using for practice if they ever stopped their gawking, “Yeah, we call that sex ed here.”

Nicollas chuckled when he saw their lovely manager punch Korai in the side. Revealing the oddest sight of Ushijima smiling ever so slightly on his stoic features while the rest of the Scweiden’s rallied around the new couple as the two seniors could only stand back and laugh, “Sex and love education....I think we could all use that.”

a/n: The end is finally here! Honestly I can’t believe I’ve actually finished a series in the first place! To everyone who’s read and supported it thank you from the bottom of my heart. This was too much fun to write and I won’t lie I might have a little soft spot in my heart for Ushijima now <3

#threethirst #schweiden sex ed series #hq smut #hq!! #haikyuu smut #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #wakatoshi ushijima #ushijima #hq ushijima #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi smut #ushijima smut #wakatoshi x reader #wakatoshi ushijima smut #wakatoshi ushijima x reader

[justfor2am]

i was gonna say this in a reblog but ngl it's gotten to the point that i would've just derailed the post so here.

also would like to mention that obviously everyone is entitled to their opinions, this is just mine. also that this post is long, there's a tl;dr at the end tho don't worry.

i saw a post about people talking about how it's been about two years since the last sanders sides episode, and to continuously refer to this hiatus as a "break" just feels kinda shitty at this point. honestly i don't disagree with that, i think at this rate there's been such a gap between episode releases that to keep calling this a "break", considering also that other videos have gone up in the meanwhile just doesn't make sense, and is a little disrespectful of the fanbases desire for content, or at the very least an update.

we are currently in an annoyingly long hiatus for sanders sides as a series. but i don't think that this is a bad thing for the fanbase as a whole.

what the fuck do i mean by that? let me explain. as someone who's been an avid fan of the series for several years now, joining the fandom officially when Accepting Anxiety Part 2 dropped back in mid-2017, there is a notable distinction within this time of the series that marked a huge change for production speed.

I would consider that episode specifically the beginning of the B.C. and A.C. of sanders sides episode release frequency change.

Pre-AA Part 2, episodes were short and zany, the longest during this era being the Growing Up video, which the crew mentioned took so long because of all the cutaway shots and extra scenes that had to be filmed aside from just Thomas standing in his apartment. It was just under 15 minutes long.

Post-AA Part 2, videos starting picking up in length, with the shortest episode in this season (discounting the Crofters episodes because lets be real, those were made solely for promo reasons) was the Christmas episode at a flat 14 minutes. The longest thus far has been the Putting Others First Redux at 51 minutes. Most episodes now are roughly a minimum of 20 minutes, if not more. The production value going into the series also took an upturn after season 2 launched, with an increase in props, a merch release (which as an aside, the christmas episode was also mostly just a sweater promo, right? we can all agree on that right??), two jam releases, the addition of a team to work along side thomas to work on not just sanders sides but videos for his channel as a whole, and most notably to me, an increase in a) location changes, and b) actors other than thomas.

all this to say, lots of things have changed during the season 2 run of the series, some which undoubtably caused delays. my guess for the main issues would be:

accommodating a new staff and figuring out how to best work as a team

side projects like merch

other video series (awkward adventures, real or fake anime)

stand alone videos

the new D&D series

personal projects for thomas like musical ventures/photoshoots

accommodating a new patreon-only audience (and doing monthly streams for that)

any potential booking issues for new set locations for videos (how in the fuck they found a courtroom to rent out just to film in is beyond me)

i bring this all up not as excuses, but things to keep in mind. season two started mid-late 2017, and ran into several hiatuses along the way. all of this was happening during this time, so surely a little wiggle room is permitted, right?

and now, we've reached the present. however, a minor correction i'd like to make for the post critiquing the team im referencing, it's not been two years since the last video. the five year special was released november 2021, unless for some odd reason you're considering the remus/logan aside episode to be the last "official" episode.

...which also came out in 2021. on july 31st, so it was basically august when it came out. unless you don't count the aside videos as main series episodes either and they're strictly filler (which that does bother me about how asides are treated, considering they were supposed to be filler but clearly aren't but whatever), leaving the last "official" episode to be the putting other's first redux which came out may 2020, indeed two years ago. but you all would be fucking lying if you said the aside videos and the five year special didn't count as episodes, so let's not pretend it's been two years alright? at most, if you really don't count the 5 year special and instead are marking the last video at the remus/logan episode, we're only really been in this hiatus for 7 months and some days. if you do count the five year ep, it's been about 4 months.

i'll be real, that's not fucking ideal either! but it's not been nearly as long as we think.

it has become such a running joke in this fandom that breaks between episodes are to be expected, and will be months at minimum, that a NEW joke spring up about the "sanders sides -> dsmp" pipeline started popping up some time ago, which i can speak to as (personally) being true.

people started leaving. new fandoms were joined, accounts were revamped or abandoned, all the while those that remained grew restless and worried for the longevity of the fanders as a whole.

but personally, i don't think we as a fanbase have as much to worry about as we should.

this "ride or die" mentally that fandom holds over teens and young adults is something that i honest to god hate about tumblr. the idea that you must pick a fanbase, squeeze it dry of as much content as you can possibly force out of the creators in as short a timeframe as you can, and then either resort to hate watching it later on or fiercely defending without any critical thinking skills sucks fucking ass. (it's fandom brainrot and we really should let it die btw) thomas could tweet tomorrow that the season 2 finale is cancelled and that he's not making any more videos for the series. then what? what do you do with all this built up anticipation for something that's just been shot dead? are you going to hate tweet at him, and @ him in posts about how angry you are that what you want didn't happen? no. or at least, i hope you all wouldn't. because that would be insanely childish and hostile to someone who, in this hypothetical scenario, chose to end it all instead of giving you a shitty, slapped together end result. none of us would want a garbage ending to a series so near and dear to our hearts. now im not hoping that thomas does that, because i would be kinda peeved. we all would be. but i know that this series is going to end one day, like it or not. and as a fandom we will have to make due with the fact that content is not promised, nor is it eternal from the creator. that is what the fanbase is for. to create, to vent, to analyze, and most importantly: to have fun.

i mentioned fandom brainrot before because i have a final point to make, a proposed solution to everyone's desire for content. which, with covid leaving many stuck indoors for prolonged periods of time, makes the itch for something new ever stronger.

sanders sides is not, and has never been, the end all be all of content on the internet. that sanders sides -> dsmp pipeline joke? it started going around because people were looking for new fandoms to enjoy to hold them over until the new episode. i had a kinda clever metaphor here but it didn't really make sense so. basically what im saying is touch grass /hj tl;dr: as far as we know, sanders sides isn't going anywhere. when the season 2 4-part finale drops, it'll be there. you don't have to sit and wait for god knows how long for it to come. watch a new show. get a new hobby. find a new fandom that makes you happy, and fills your desire for content in the meanwhile. guess what? depending on who you watch in the dsmp, you're probably dealing with a similar, more short term problem. the solution is the same goddamn thing: watch someone else.

maturing means that one single thing is not, and should never be your entire personality. mentally, it is always better to expand your horizons and consume content not out of obligation, but because you enjoy it. for the fanders, don't let this hiatus be the 'make-or-break' point for you. go explore new fandoms, and i promise you, your enjoyment of sanders sides as a whole will increase drastically. i promise.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides critique #sanderssides #justfor2talks

[spaceorphan18]

Top 10 WTF Kurt outfits?

You are asking me to remember 10 of Kurt’s outfits, lol 

Let’s do some digging and see what I can find...

ETA: I decided to go through my meta and see what I dig up.  It’s more than a 10 ten, but interesting to do! 

Season 1

Pilot

Iconic because it’s one of the first things we see him in, but this is a weird outfit. 

They were trying to make him as effeminate as they could at the beginning.  The character eventually kind of changes out of this kind of thing -- but the knee-length sweaters were a staple of season 1 for sure. 

Showmance

Kurt doesn’t usually do hot pink...

The outfit is fine, it’s the fannypack that has me curious

Acafellas

What is even going on here? 

Preggers

I really don’t know if this should be included or not.  It is weird when you first see it, but I’m so used to seeing this, it seems totally normal? 

Throwdown

Ug, this isn’t a good picture of it -- but the plastic rain coat is something else.  It works! But the ensemble is crazy

Wheels

Ngl, I think nothing about this really works, and I’m glad it’s not a look that really ever comes back again

Bad Reputation

I mean this is supposed to be ridiculous, so there’s that. 

Laryngitis

Again, this is supposed to be ridiculous on him.  Though - fascinating how ultra masculine clothing look just as off as some of the other weird shit he wears.

Theatricality

Again, it’s done on purpose - but man, there are heels with that ensemble. 

Sectionals

This isn’t really wtf, though I’m curious as to the texture -- is it a vinyl jacket?  But interesting because Kurt never wears this bright red color.  And also the make-up in the last few episodes of season 1 is very caked on, to the point that Chris looks translucent and sickly.  I’ve always wondered why. 

Season 2

Audition

I mean, this is here for the joke, but I don’t think it’s that outlandish? I think he was wearing more extreme stuff in season 1, tbh. 

For one - it’s bondage gear.  For two - this is around when he starts wearing that fox tale thing.  That’s... only around in season 2, right? 

Britney/Brittany

Most notable because he’s wearing a skirt.  

Prom Queen

I have a loooot of thoughts about this now that I’m doing this project.  This one is done on purpose.  But you notice -- it’s also Kurt comes back from Dalton, where he’s spent most of his time wearing a uniform? 

Funeral

I’ve never liked these pants, not because they’re wtf, but because they don’t fit him right. 

Season 3

Purple Piano Project

So.... what’s going on here? I mean, he totally sells it, but can you imagine anyone seriously wearing this in real life? (yes, I know he wore it in NBK, it’s just in a more outlandish ensemble here) 

The First Time

I realize this is iconic, but this leopard print sweater is actually knee length.  I mean talk about layers. 

Mash-Off

Okay, this one probably wins, because even Chris commented that it looked like Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi.  But I have heard some fascinating meta around it -- how this is after The First Time, and an idication that Kurt wants to cover himself, because nakedness is sacred to him.  And now that he’s allowing himself to be touched in a very special way, he feels the need to cover himself more.  He grows out of it once he’s more comfortable with sex.  

But I would love to know the real reason the costume designer picked this. 

Again, from the same episode.  Why the equestrian look?? Somewhere @snarkyhag is making commentary about Kurt liking to ride things. ;) 

I Kissed a Girl

This is another iconic one, what you can’t really see in this still, but it’s the half-sweater! I think they were still trying to play around with Kurt and gender at this point.  I’m curious as to when they ditch his wacky outfits for good and start dressing him more masculine, because there’s definitely a shift by season 4. 

I need to bring this up.  It is a little weird, yes, but mostly I wanted to say that I had a sweater just like it (without the weird arm holes) in high school.  

Hold Onto 16

I would just like to point out he’s wearing a Newsie’s Cap with shorts. This is also the era of Kurt’s bizarre headwear.  

Yes/No

The outfit is fine, the hat is weird though -- especially since they’re inside. 

Michael

Not fully appreciated in this still -- it’s a leather onesie.  That’s insane.  

Also Michael -- Not necessarily wtf, but doesn’t it look like something Blaine would wear? 

Big Brother 

Not necessarily wtf, but it does look like Kurt’s going to a gay club and not dance practice

Props

You know - he went a good chunk of the season wearing somewhat normal things with accents of interesting fashion.  And then they put him in this.  And I have to wonder if it’s because they thought it would work on Finn/Cory, too. 

Nationals

MC Hummel and his Bitch (again with the nightclub outfits) 

Season 4

Makeover

This might be the most outlandish thing he wears in season 4, tbh. 

Wonderful

Definitely not wtf - but I just noticed because i’ve been scrolling through all my meta -- this might be the first (and only?) time Kurt wears this color. It looks totally fine here, but I don’t think yellow is Kurt’s (or Chris’s) color. (Oh, I forgot, though, this is the episode where RM was obsessed with orange and colors in that spectrum)

Again with the color scheme that Kurt never wears.  Fascinating. 

Season 5 and 6

There are a couple of interesting pants with patterns on them in season 5 that are different - but I don’t have stills, and they aren’t that weird. 

The only notable thing about season 6 is 2009 where they try to shove Kurt back into his Season 1 style, with middling success.  

You guys -- I have a TON to say about Kurt and fashion now that I’ve scrolled through the entire series.  Let me know if you want some more thoughts! 

#kurt hummel #that's how s.o. sees it #kurt and fashion

[fyeahnix]

If it were possible to have like...two longer Chronicles per season, or 4 short ones about this length, 2 before midseason, 2 after midseason, I think we’d really have something cool here.

Unfortunately that will not stop datamining, but I’d prefer like....two meaty voicelines over a 10 page comic ngl.

I am wondering how much time and effort the Chronicles takes.

#Apex Legends

[ectora]

Review episode 312

It’s weird because I enjoyed the episode but most of my comments are actually criticism so bare with me 😂

Overall it was a nice episode to watch. The acting was on point especially for Sarah and Poppy imo they carried this episode but also probably cause they’re the one with the most compelling stories on this one. The episode kinda felt like a filler but honestly that’s because the show is focusing too much on the allergy and we know that’s not gonna be fixed til the end so as long as they make that the main story of the sisters, most episodes are gonna feel like fillers when it comes to them. Macy and Maggie had their own little adventure with a ghost which was funny (again kudo to Sarah), Harry and Mel went on a quest for a soul tho we still have no clue what it actually meant and Abigael was going through her own little traumatic hell in the tomb (Poppy really has been particularly slaying this storyline acting wise ).

Screen time

Abigael: 6m11s

Macy: 17m24s

Mel: 11m15s

Maggie: 18m24s

Harry: 11m03s

What I liked

Maggie still got the internship and I’m glad back she deserved it. I really don’t dislike Antonio but I’m also glad they kinda made it clear she wasn’t interested and that she finally made progress with her feelings for Jordan.

Abigael. I liked it because it gave us more insight on Abigael’s past (tho I still think they should have given us this earlier). I always theorised that from her childhood, she was obviously scared from the fact her mom never really accepted her demon side which created her deep feeling of rejection and how she was never accepted and never belonged. But I also thought she had some kind of loving family. Like to me these two things were not necessarily contradictory. Well apparently not. Her mom straight out abused her during her childhood. Which definitely explain why she choose the demon side like that. Both her parents were terrible to them but as she said in the past, at least she can understand demon a little but. She can rationalise it base on their nature. When it came from her mom however, it came fully from a place of dislike which must have been very harmful on a child. So obviously when I say I like it I don’t mean I like what her mom did to her, but I really like the insight and explanation. And again, Poppy did an amazing job. She made Abigael feel so vulnerable and scared, and confirmed that, ultimately what Abigael always wanted was acceptance. Which she first needs to give to herself.

Marisol and Macy sharing a scene. I have my issues with how it went which I’ll come to later. But I’m glad it existed and Mads really showed great emotions.

That was a short list because if I did enjoy the episode and there was some highlights I’ll talk about later, I also can’t really pintpoint things I loved.

What I disliked

Harry’s story. I just really don’t like how they make it all about the relationship when it could be so much deeper than that. I also am not sure I like the length to which he’s ready to go for it. Like the entire soul donation is a bit weird to me.

Marisol and Macy. Listen that one made me angry. Maybe it wouldn’t have if Macy actually had other stuff going on than her relationship with Harry but with the way the show has been writing her mostly around her relationship with Harry, it really didn’t come across well to me. The fact we had for the first time a in present tense scene between Macy and Marisol and all they talked about a man has me fuming. Maybe if they had had a longer time to talk. But they had like two minutes and most of it was about men.

The sisters. I don’t like the fact Mel wasn’t there when they were going to connect with their mom. I feel like that should have been a story kept for all three of them. I’m also annoyed that they once again refused to give us some Mel and Macy. I would have liked to see them a bit. Once again that sisterly bond feels like it’s non existent.

Melby. I cannot believe anyone would actually look at them and think yes that’s good. The treatment is absolutely terrible. The buildup was bad - because it was supposed to last - and the fact it’s all off screen is absolutely terrible. Ruby has been in three episode this season. One of them she didn’t actually share a scene with Ruby. The second episode they were full of drama and jealousy and they were so easily breaking up. And suddenly we jump to the I love yous. And were supposed to find that cute ? Like what are we supposed to think they love about each other? The constant breaking ups ? Cause that’s the most consistent thing about them. It kinda feels cheap in the way it’s done ngl.

What doesn’t make sense

Why was Jordan in the description ? I feel they’re kinda trying to avoid putting Abi’s name in the summaries (or at least it feels like it) but like .... Jordan had not reason to even be talked about. He didn’t appear once. It should have been Abi’s name in there.

The pills falling from the pocket Like ... Harry you had literally one job. How exactly did they fall ??

Why did they seem lost until their realised Jordy was a descendant and they could use his soul. Did I miss something saying it needed to be a male descendant ? Cause like ... Gil (Jil ? Idk) was literally right there. (Nevermind apparently I missed them saying « male descendent » my bad dkdjd

How did abi know she was in the tomb. Like I know my girl is smart but like ... she has basically no contact with the sisters at this point so how on earth did she learn how the tomb works and what happens inside ??

Highlights

The hammer. Listen, don’t ask me why but this picture of abi has been sending me for weeks now and I’ve been wondering the context since I’ve seen it. Like it gives me the biggest dumb bitch energy ever. The fact that abi is a very smart person and just thought a hammer would get her out of the tomb just has me laughing like it’s just too funny to me 😭

“The British hot lady” Swan I understand You

The way Maggie calls for Abi and gets into her apartment. I don’t know why I just love it.

Macy trying to lie to Antonio. Macy’s face when she lies is always a delight.

No but do any of these older generations know what not having an affair even mean? But I mean like father like son I guess.

« Who footnotes a spell » Macy’s face was so funny 😭 she was so done with it.

Theories

Not gonna lie. I’m a bit scare about next episode. I think it might be really interesting but also I’m very scare of the execution especially when it comes to Abigael and Macy. I do believe Macy has valid to distrust Abigael. However the show has been terrible at portraying those. And ultimately, especially lately, the sisters and Abigael have barely crossed paths. They’re barely in each other’s lives. All the do is coexist in the same city and interact when demons are involved which isn’t really the case. So right now all abi is doing is keeping the demons in lines. So I’m scared that Macy’s rightful dislike and distrust is almost gonna come across as pettiness or jealousy. But I also think that there is a difference between not trusting Abigael and say she deserves to be in the tomb. Cause at the end of the day past episode 4 what has she really done so terrible that deserves eternal suffering/delusion or whatever the tomb actually does. She’s manipulative and self serving sure but she also helps more than anything. The sisters have actually nothing to win have having Abigael stuck in there. And more to lose.

One theory is that the perfecti are trying to isolate the sisters. Putting abi and Jordan in the tomb is separating them from their allies and helping Harry to lose his powers is taking their guidance/healer away from them.

Another is just that really just have a very strict black and white vision and Abigael being a demon and Jordan helping them makes them automatically in the black category. Which the title seems to be referring to so it’s probably this.

I think the upcoming episode might be a way to introduce the whole controversy around Macy’s demon powers. And slowly bringing up the story of Abigael giving them back to her.

I think it also might be a way to actually have the show approach the wrongs Abigael did in the show. But also the rights. After all, it seems like they’ll need to prove she doesn’t deserve to be in it. Which I personally don’t think she does. Though she definitely did wrong things in her life. So I think they might actually use this as an occasion to have the sisters talk about what she did do that was wrong. And hopefully also highlight that she did help them on multiple occasions.

With the “previously in charmed” it makes it feel like they’re still going with Maggie not knowing Jordan can actually touch her and this doesn’t stop confusing me. But I can see the show have them hug once he’s out of the tomb and then kinda admit their feelings finally and Jordan say something in the lines that he kept it from her because he didn’t want to put pressure on her or that him being able to touch her didn’t change the fact she wanted to focus on herself or something on those lines.

One thing I want to talk about is Abigael. Please don’t read this paragraph if you haven’t heard about the rumours going around. //// The fact is, there is a very strong change Poppy is leaving the show. And the way they made this episode made it very clear Abigael was abused as a child. But that she is also absolutely craving love and acceptance. And that she does love her mom and always wanted her love. I’m very scared that if they make Abigael leave (better than die) they’d make her go back to her sister and family and try to fix their relationship. Which would absolutely be terrible message to give as we literally know now that she was abused. And making a character go back to their abusers because of the trauma it caused (her fear of rejection and inability to actually accept herself) would just be disgusting. But I’m scared that’s the road they’re gonna take.

#charmed #charmed cw #charmed reboot #charmed 2018 #charmed review #abigael caine #mel vera #maggie vera #macy vaughn #harry greenwood #jordan chase