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vaulthunterlands · 3 months

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BORDERLANDS COLLEGE AU

Stupid idea I had a few nights ago, don't think too hard about the inconsistencies in ages and stuff. Probably just doing Vault Hunters and a few other characters.

ROLAND

Majoring in cybersecurity. Good student, studies and gets consistently high grades. Has a well-formulated meal and workout plan. Also an RA on campus. Roland is the guy you go to if you have issues. He might not be great at "talking you through them" or "showing empathy" but he always has solid advice and is well-respected by his peers.

BRICK

I was going to say "Brick wouldn't go to college in canon" but this isn't canon babeyyyy. Brick is going into veterinary medicine. You may think this is completely off as a major for him, but I argue that his love for dogs is far greater than any challenge he may face in his education. Still a gym maniac. Roland is his RA, which means Roland is in charge of calming Brick down when he gets mad. Dating Mordecai. Also, unrelated but Brick in a philosophy class:

"Brick, can you tell us what you think about what Descartes said?"

"I PUNCH Descartes."

LILITH

Y'all are going to hate me for this but Lilith is a chemistry major. Girl loves fire, electricity, and acid so you can't tell me she wouldn't be a menace in her labs. (Also, before the first game was released her full title was "Dr. Lilith Cashlin, Mercenary Scientist") Only goes to class half the time but still does really well. Rooms with Mordecai and Brick. Huge crush on this RA she keeps seeing around

MORDECAI

BIRD MAAAAAN. Y'all already know this guy is doing two things on campus. 1) Majoring in Ornithology 2) Going to parties to get drunk. This man is the epitome of "college is for partying". Keeps birds in campus (not allowed) and is doing okay in his classes (he is hung over 80% of the time) (Mordy pls) Dating Brick.

PATRICIA TANNIS

Honestly, what field of science ISN'T this girl majoring in? She's insane(ly smart) and constantly gets perfect scores on all of her exams. Closest friends are Roland and the gang.

MARCUS

Why is he here??? What??? Marcus is the guy who runs the restaurant that is directly across the street from campus. *Phenomenal* food, but GOD is it pricey. Tends to not care about many of the students chilling (as long as they BUY SOMETHING)

SCOOTER

Doesn't go to this college but he's good friends with Roland and his pals. Likes to go out drinking with them on the weekends and is just all-in-all a cool guy to hang around with. Friends with Janey.

AXTON

BMOC. Captain of the football team. You can trust him! (He's the water boy.) Total jock but he's not an asshole about it. Majoring in Rehabilitation Science. He's... not the *best* student, but he does try and genuinely care about what he wants to do. Lives with Salvador, Maya, and Zer0 in a dorm.

SALVADOR

Culinary major. My man can COOK. He's the best cook in the dorm and no one will ever argue if he offers to cook. Really good student even though he parties all the time with Mordecai, Brick, and Axton. Lives with Maya, Axton, and Zer0.

ZER0

*Insert weeb joke here* They're a literature major. Not just because of the haiku, either. I feel like Zer0 would be fantastic in literature courses and understanding thr deeper meanings in texts. They are seen as a "weird kid" on campus. They do not care. Lives with Maya, Salvador, and Axton.

MAYA

The reason I made this list (big surprise, V does a huge post and it's Maya's fault), Maya majors in entomology. (S/O to @forbiddenpurplesoda for this because I've always thought Maya would be a bug girl) Maya is a phenomenal student and she always gets great marks in her studies. Lives with Axton, Sal and Zer0. Has at least one pet beetle that makes Axton panic.

GAIGE

Mechanical Engineering/Robotics major. Obviously built Deathtrap as a buddy because she felt a little lonely in her dorm. Calls her Dad every night. Has a huge crush on a girl in one of her math classes. Lives with...

KRIEG!!!!

Listen. Listen. Krieg majors in psychology. The *actual* football captain. Doesn't talk much and when he does, it's complete nonsense. (Everyone just goes "haha classic Krieg") Gaige gets along with him extremely well. Maya and him have a thing where they will just look at each other and think "holy shit they're so gorgeous). Always wears a face mask.

TINA

Child prodigy chemistry major, buddies with Lilith and Roland. But seriously, who let this kid in the lab? Like, okay, yeah, she knows what she's doing, but what she's doing is COMBUSTION REACTIONS. How is she still in school.

ELLIE

Engineering major. Lives in the building across from Roland and the gang. Absolute sweetheart and huge flirt but will also drop you on her ass if you threaten her friends.

MOXXI

I could see Moxxi as a professor of engineering, actually. Every student thinks she's gorgeous and she's learned to ignore it. Scooter and Ellie's Mom. Thinks their friends are funny.

HANDSOME JACK

Oh man, this one was tough. I decided on absolute tool you meet in college who's the head of a frat and thinks he's God's gift to women. Lives in the same building as Roland, Lilith, Brick, Mordecai, Salvador, Axton, Maya, Zer0, Gaige, and Krieg. Constantly getting into arguments with... basically everyone listed above. Majors in business.

ANGEL

She's an art major!!! She's super intelligent and aces all of her classes but she absolutely loves art. Jack is her brother in this AU. Has a crush on the cute punk girl in her math class but could never tell her. Lives in a single.

ALISTAIR HAMMERLOCK

Double majors in conservation biology and zoology! Finds the creatures that he studies absolutely fascinating and always has a bright disposition on his face. Lives in a single that looks exactly like you think it does (his room on Sanctuary III). Strained relationship with his sister.

ATHENA

Acient History Major, specifically interested in Ancient Greece (wonder why?). Works at Marcus' restaurant. Hates it. Pay her more. Has her eyes on a girl that frequents Marcus' restaurant. Tried to live with Wilhelm, Jack, Nisha, Timothy, and Claptrap for a semester, she is now a commuter. Still friends with Timothy.

WILHELM

Jack's second-in-command. People look at him like he's a dumbass, big hunk of meat, but he's also in a robotics major. Aside from being buddies with Jack, he's... kind of chill? Man likes what he likes and he works out pretty often. Boxes in his free time. Lives with Nisha, Jack, Timothy, and (formerly) Claptrap.

NISHA

Criminal justice major, naturally. Jack's girlfriend and the baddest and scariest bitch on campus. Likes watching old western movies. Never, ever shows up to class but still passes. No one knows how. Lives with Jack, Timothy, Wilhelm, and (formerly) Claptrap

CLAPTRAP

Theater major! Always has a smile on his face, even though he's nooooot very well-liked. Tried to get in with the popular guys but eventually figured out he was being used. He confronted Jack and Jack kicked him out of the dorm 😔 Lives... well, he kind of just lives around Roland's dorm. Roland's too nice to say no.

TIMOTHY

I feel like Tim would be a Biology major. I don't know why but I can see him in that field. Looks SCARILY similar to Jack, and hates this. Unfortunately put into a room with Jack, Wilhelm, Nisha, and (formerly) Claptrap. Misses Athena greatly and wishes she still lived on campus. They're still good friends.

AURELIA HAMMERLOCK

Oh good lord, who let her on a college campus. Has an extravagant single room because she's *rich* and she's not sharing with someone else are you insane? Studies law because this bitch wants to be a judge someday. Absolutely hates to be seen with her brother Alistair. Rivalry with another rich law student makes this even more tense.

JANEY SPRINGS

Doesn't go to this college but she knows a few people around campus and hits up Marcus' restaurant for a bite to eat every so often. The food is just so good, right? No other reason. None at all. Friends with Scooter.

RHYS STRONGFOK

Rhys is a business and economics major. Is in Jack's frat. Is getting increasingly sick of Jack's shit. Buddy buddy with Vaughn, Fiona, and Zer0. Dating Sasha.

VAUGHN

Accounting major. Man has a mind like a steel trap, and also enjoys bodybuilding. Best friends with Rhys, good friends with Fiona and Sasha.

FIONA

I genuinely feel like Fiona would be a nursing or Healthcare major. I have no basis for this, it just feels right for her. Hates Jack and keeps telling Rhys to tell him to fuck off. Friends with Rhys and Vaughn, Sasha's older sister.

SASHA

Social work major! Loves helping people and wants to make a change in the world after she and Fiona grew up in less-than-ideal circumstances. Dating Rhys, also keeps telling Rhys to get away from Jack. Friends with Vaughn.

MOZE

Transfer student. Served in the military for a while before deciding she wanted to go to college. Undecided major but she's just trying to focus on the pretty women I mean her grades haha am I right? ALWAYS at Marcus'. Always. Lives with Zane, Amara, and FL4K.

FL4K

FL4K has Mr. Chew, Broodless and Meat-Thief as emotional support animals. I can see FL4K as a double major in zoology and veterinary medicine. Loves their pets. Super chill unless you speak badly about them or their pets. Will shank a bitch. Lives with Zane, Moze, and Amara.

AMARA

Healthcare studies major, with a focus on pathology. Also a bodybuilder. Also a boxer. Amara is that girl and she knows it. Always asking Moze to work out with her and she is completely oblivious to Moze being head over heels. Will fight someone being mean to a customer service worker. Lives with Zane, Moze, and FL4K.

ZANE

Pop pop went back to college! No but in this AU Zane is probably older than everyone but not that much older. His major was tough for me, but I honestly think he'd be a good candidate for a major in rehabilitation science with Axton. Also LOVES parties.

WAINWRIGHT JAKOBS

His Father wanted him to go into Business to take over the family legacy but he decided to go into law to "protect the little guy". Has daily arguments with this stuck-up, pretentious "harpy" that's in most of his classes. She's awful. Has a crush on this well-spoken man in zoological studies. At least that will take his mind off of the harpy.

TROY CALYPSO

Troy is a media and communications major. Has a fantastic time making videos and being admin of many social media pages but doesn't do very well in class because he dislikes most of his professors. Has a very close relationship with his sister, Tyreen.

TYREEN CALYPSO

Double major in Art History and Theater. Loves to be the center of attention and often stars in her brother's videos and projects. She loves it. A little full of herself. Close with her brother, Troy.

TYPHON DELEON

OKAY WAIT WAIT DON'T CLOSE THE POST HEAR ME OUT.

Cringe boomer history professor that can be easily distracted by him telling his stories of his many adventures (no one knows if they're true or not). Troy and Tyreen's Father. NOT a piss poor Dad in this AU, just embarrassing as all hell. Pretty decent guy but he's okay as a professor. (Please guys let me have my "Typhon is a good cringe embarrassing boomer dad to the Calypsos" AU)

OKAY this was a really long post and I probably forgot someone but I'm sure I'll hear about it LMAO. Also I don't know every single college major and its appropriate title, I just went off of vibes. Pls be nice 2 me

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pikaflute · 10 months

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This post contains spoilers for Army of the Doomstar, and also screencaps from the movie under the read more. This post is just about Nathan and Pickles by the way.

Okay let's talk about Nickles is real. I said in an earlier post that Charles directly tells Pickles to be Nathan's friend. Nathan at this point is afraid. He's got....a lot going on after being recently hospitalized due to exhaustion, coupled with the trauma of being the only one who remembers Requiem and having to be put on Xanax (possibly for anxiety). So now more than ever Nathan needs support. He needs his band. He needs a friend. He needs....well Pickles.

Obviously Pickles is already Nathan's friend. His best friend even. Despite all of Season 4, Pickles still cares a lot about Nathan. Even during this conversation with Charles he's like 'that's all?'. He's already doing that. Pickles throughout this movie is the one character trying his hardest to be there for Nathan. Calling him buddy, being supporting of him during the training, keeping an eye on him, doing everything he can to make sure Nathan is alright to not only write the song to save the world but just in general. Nathan needs it.

It also is worth mentioning that Charles probably chose Pickles for that exact reason. He probably knew he didn't need to tell him to be Nathan's friend either. No other member of Dethklok would've been as close to Nathan as Nathan is with Pickles. His drummer.

When they're with Knubbler, he calls them both the dad (nathan) and the mom (pickles). Why did he do this. I know why but. Humor me. By the way Pickles really leans into the mom role in this. This is a real line said in the movie:

Anyway during the scene after Murderface's exorcism, Nathan blames himself for fucking up the song of salvation. And then Pickles slaps him. When Nathan says "Everyone abandoned me" Pickles tells him:

Pickles knows! He experienced it! Nathan pushed him away and didn't tell him about the whale in Season 4 which caused the initial fight in the season. Coupled along with Nathan's attraction towards Abigail, Pickles knows first hand how Nathan pushes people out and shuts down when things happen to him. Now he's doing it again. He's shut out his band, he "broke up" with the fans due to his own issues, and with Abigail he couldn't let his own feelings be pushed aside and listen to hers.

Sure. It looks like slapping him isn't the best way to get through to him, but, Pickles knows Nathan. This is being his friend. Nathan is stubborn. He doesn't listen. This is how it's gonna get through to Nathan that, hey dipshit, you're not alone. You have others. You have me. (In fact. It's how Nathan go to Pickles in Fatherklok if you remember that correctly.) Nathan realizing he wants everyone to come back to help him is also somewhat similar to his apology to Pickles to come back at the end of Season 4. But that's just be tinhatting.

Also during this Murderface goes "this is weird." He doesn't like seeing mom and dad fight.

Later. Before they perform the song of salvation: this happens. With Nathan calling Pickles the best mother (fucker. Motherfucker.)

If this line isn't a metaphor for "I love you" than I'm going to play in traffic. The emphasis on the you in Nathan's line. I'll blow up.

Later on when they get kidnapped by Salacia and are essentially given their last meals, Pickles' orders Nathan's, further cementing how they're friends. A lead singer and his drummer.

why are you looking at a another man like that. HUH

Also Pickles touches Nathan like a lot this movie.

DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN.

THE TENDER TOUCH. THE CARESS. MAN WHEN I SAW THIS I HAD TO GO TAKE A LAP AROUND MY HOUSE. I GOT SO EMOTIONAL AND PISSED. MAN. MAAAAAN.

This movie nails their relationship. How Nathan acts because of his role on the metalocalypse. How he handles his emotions. How the band handles their emotions. How Nathan and Pickles' friendship still is strong despite everything that happened to them. How Pickles is the one to snap Nathan to his senses and act like a real friend to Nathan; one he really needed. This movie is amazing and I cried like a baby.

Anyway this was Pickles in AOTD

And this was Nathan

Run me a check for nickles screenwriting credits Brendon. I'll be expecting it in my inbox by the end of the week.

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #aotd spoilers #aotdspoilers #mtl spoilers #army of the doomstar

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ladykissingfish · 4 months

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*Sasori carrying a very drunk Deidara to bed* Sasori: Whew ... you absolutely reek of alcohol, brat. How many times have I told you not to drink past your limits? Deidara, slurring: Art has no limit, Sasori my maaaaan. Sasori: You getting piss drunk is not "art". And speaking of piss, you better not wet my bed or I WILL murder you in your sleep. *lays him down* Deidara: Sasoooori! Hey, hey, did you know your name means "scorpion"? Why don't ya penetrate me with your stinger, hmmm? Sasori: I'll penetrate your heart with a sword if you don't shut up and go to bed, Deidara. Deidara: Sounds like music when you say my name, lover. I love you by the way. Love love love. I want to have sixty of your brats. Did I tell you I love you? Sasori: Mm, you mentioned it. *carefully tucks Deidara in* Now sleep. Deidara: Not ‘til you say you love me too ~ Sasori: *groans* Fine, fine … I love you too, you annoying idiot. *kisses Deidara’s forehead* Now close your eyes and rest. I’ll be sitting here reading and I’ll keep an eye on you. Deidara: Danna keeps me sooo safe. Hey, when we gonna get married? Sasori: If you be a good boy and go to sleep right now, I'll wed you tomorrow. Okay? Deidara, happily: Okay!! Goodnight, hm! *passes out* Sasori: Oh thank God ... *the next day, in the kitchen* Kisame, molding cookie dough with his hands: Goodness, last night was a long ride. I'm glad that Itachi has such fun when he goes out with Dei and Hidan, but trying to handle him when he's drunk is certainly a challenge. Sasori: I know what you mean; Dei is the same way. Kisame: Took me forever to get Itachi to go to sleep, he kept fighting me on it. Eventually I had to promise I'd make him cookies today, and he went right out. *slides a sheet pan of cookies into the oven* Sasori: *chuckles* I'm lucky that Deidara never remembers what I promise him the next day. Otherwise I'd probably be in some real trouble. He -- *Deidara enters the room, wearing a long white dress, with extremely hungover Hidan and Itachi in suits next to him* Deidara: Well, come on, Sasori ... hurry and get dressed! Nagato says he's ready to officiate for us whenever we're ready, hm! Hidan, squinting against the overhead light: And make it quick, puppet-dick; it's bright as hell in here! Itachi: And after we can all have some of the cookies Kisame is making me. Chocolate chip and peanut butter, right? Kisame: Yes, dear. Sasori:

#sasodei #sasori x deidara #sasori #deidara #kisaita #kisame x itachi #kisame hoshigaki #itachi uchiha #hidan #drunk shenanigans #wedding bells

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goldshitter · 3 months

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okay but also, how every seemingly throw away detail/gag/side plot ties up into an overarching character/plot development

the obvious being every seemingly random case per week

maomao's adamant refusal towards becoming a courtesan being played like a gag, *until we find out her history and meet the fucker lakan*

i am in genuine awe of the people who worked on this series and its adaptations, but i would also like to pick apart the authors brain because man. maaaaan i wanna be able to write that good

#the apothecary diaries

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queenofallimagines · 11 months

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oh good gods pls your luciferian hcs made me YELL they’re so good lmao i was side eyeing my altar and space for lucifer the WHOLE TIME

do you think you could do a part two? and if possible, nsfw? if not thats more than okay!! thank you and i hope you’re doing so good!!!

🕷️anon

Absolutely 🕷anon! AND LMAO YEAH I COULD FEEL HIM SIDE EYEING ME ACROSS THE ROOM AS I WROTE THESESGSHSJS asking the old man “why are you like this” whenever lucifer in game does something corny😭 ik he’s sick of me

Lucifer:

- Okay so since part 1 was when you arrived this will be more about day to day life in the next term

- Right off the bat I’m imagining minor petty spats that the other brothers are like…. Wtf is going on here

- Like y’all have been glaring across the table at one another for 30 mins and haven’t spoken a word

- WAY more picky w offerings lmao

- Is literally going to be super extra about it for no reason other than to bother you

- For example! When you give an offering to oshun( African orisha they’re like the HR in the heaven department just above the angel hierarchy) you have to eat a little first bc she was poisoned once so it’s like to show you’re in good faith

- Lucifer will ask you to do that w food you don’t like

- “Eat some”

- “I got this for you-“

- “And I want you to taste some😌”

- “….. do I really I have to???”

- “Are you telling me what to do w MY offering🤨”

- MAKE FUN OF HIM PLEASE ITS SO FUNNY!!

- A lot of people ( white peoples I fear😔) be talking about he only accepts blood offerings and you have to sell your soul or whatever and stuff but literally this man will be giddy over a red candle w gold glitter

- Write all your assignments in sparky pen so when he looks at them he can’t hold back a smile

- As a joke you leave crystals associated with him in his coat pockets but he will never take them out

- Congratulations you played ya self

- You doing the stuff you do for him out of habit will fluster him if you say it

- “Why are you waking up so early to get ready?”

- “Hm? For Lucifer”

- “No im not gunna drink this tea it’s an offering🙄”

- Please don’t tell his brothers he will lock himself in his office💀

- Whenever you google “what can I do for Lucifer” 9/10 the first thing will be taking care of yourself

- So when your self caring w asmo and you go “oh I do this bc Lucifer likes it”

- The house will expose in chaos

- Mammon demanding you tell him your card numbers “for him” LMAO

- They’re all super jealous

- Gotta tell em its nothing personal he’s just always been there for you

- Whew if he reached out to YOU?

- The silence in the house REAL LOUD😭

- Belphegor waking up and going “ik you fucking lying!!!”

- You’re all confused like???

- “…..you said Lucifer… reached out to YOU?”

- “??????yeah????”

- “As in… he ASKED you to work with him?”

- “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about his name and he showed up on my door one day”

- Lmao belphie and mammon are the LOUDEST FR

- “YOU CHOSE A HUMAN?? MR I HATE HUMANS BECAUSE THEYRE WEAK??📸”

- OH SO THERES MORE THAN ONE FAKE BITCH IN THIS HOUSE HUH?”

- lmao he’s sitting there red faced clenching his fist like

- “Listen I can explain”

- He cannot explain😭

- Can’t even say he did it on a whim

- “He really picked me up like a wet cat lmao”

- “Mc I am literally begging you to shut the FUCK up”

- Oh maaaaan diavolo will get a Kick out of this!!

- Solomon is very salty

- “But I can’t get a pact😒😒”

- He’s literally going to double down and bother him more

- “Lucifer you never told me you were taking on disciples🥺”

- “I didn’t think it was that important lord diavolo simply to pass the time”

- Simeon is laughing but internally having the feels bc he’s like 🥹 “even after all this time you still choose to be a guardian angel”

- Will tell you embarrassing stories about him he is now super close to you

- “Lucifer being the lords favorite was also the best one at singing👀 he loved music”

- That’s tru btw lmao Lucifer was like one of the angels who liked singing the most thats what makes humans and angels so alike- love for music and dancing-

- Call him your morning star and he MELTS

- Back to why were really here😌

- Call him that during sex or when you first wake up and he’s on cloud nine

- FUCK HIM DURING GOLDEN HOUR🗣🗣

- He’s literally he rises in the morning for a reason!!

- He will deadass purpose bc imagine riding him as the sun stars peaking over the horizon

- He’s under you moaning looking up at you w the most glazed over love struck eyes

- The sun filtering through the window and hitting him juuuuuuuust right

- That it looks like he has a halo again

- Breathlessly calling your name as you grind down on him

- He barely manages to get out that he’s close before you caress some of his hair out of his face

- “Cum for me then my Morningstar”

- Time freezes for like 16 seconds and his eyes are getting teary

- He hugs you close as he starts rutting his hips into you harder

- Will cum and keep going until he’s about to pass out

- Holding you like a lifeline

- When you can finally breathe and think straight he pulls you in for a kiss

- Literally stealing your breath away

- Will say I love you in the most honest voice ever while smiling at you with teary eyes

- probably won’t stop touching you all day might as well just spend it in bed

-is embarrassed by body worship calling it now

- be HE can do that but if YOU sink to your knees behind his desk and hold eye contact he’s getting nervous

-“just showing my devout gratitude💕”

- embarrassed how fast he finishes

- if you keep doing to overstimulate him he’s putty in your hands

- this man is very soft he will crack at the slightest sign of domestic romance

- bring him coffee when he wakes up?

- he’s already selected a wedding venue

- I always thought it would be cute if he gave you his ring

- HILARIOUS IF HE DOSENT TELL YOU LMAO

- You swing by the celestial realm and it’s crickets and you’re like ??? Fuck is y’all starring at??🤨

- Simeon hums and says that nobody expected lucifer to get married much less to a human. How he was never one to put anything above his responsibilities

- Excuse me?

- “You’re wearing the right of light,yes? He doesn’t just give that to anyone dear. You two are bonded for life now🥰”

- “HELLO????”

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superiorsturgeon · 6 months

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Scenes from Jaune’s bachelor party, pt 2

Continuing from here!

Sun: *playing accordion*

Jaune: *drunk and standing on a table in a Faunus beer garden* Okay…! Here’s my favorite part…!

White Fang soldiers: *singing along and lifting beer steins as Jaune leads them in an Atlas drinking song* Jaaaa…jaaaa…jaaaa…jaaaa! 🎶

———————————————————————

Raven: *struggling under dashboard* Shit…almost…!

Neptune: Okay, I think…There it is! *discharges his weapon, causing bright red sports car to roar to life*

Raven: WE GOT IT! Time to go!!

Sun/Qrow/Tai/Ren/Jaune: *all pile into hot wired vehicle as Vacuan cartel enforcers open fire*

———————————————————————

Ren: *reclining outside five-star hotel room with Qrow*

Ren: *passes a cigar*

Qrow: Thanks, kid. Need a light?

Ren: Please…! *leans forward and puffs gently as Qrow lights his cigar*

Qrow/Ren: *smoke in silence*

Qrow: …cigars are really bad for you, aren’t they?

Ren: *throws up*

———————————————————————

Taiyang: *tied to a stake* …so, what? You like redheads, but you don’t like my daughter…?!

Jaune: *tied to the other side of the stake* It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Ruby, it’s just that I really love Pyrrha! The heart wants what it wants, you know…?

Taiyang: Good answer, kid…! Ruby deserves someone who really loves her, you know? This Pyrrha sounds like a lucky girl!

Junior: *turns to henchmen* Tase them again.

———————————————————————

Sun: *signing into a microphone* Iiiiiiii….Am a maaaaan…of constant sorrooooww….!

Sun: I am a maaaaaan of constant pain…!

Sun: Iiiiiiiiiiiii….bid fareweeeeelll to old Kentuckyyyyyyy…the place where Iiiiiiii was born and raised…!

Jaune/Neptune: ….the place where heeeeeeeee was born and raised….!

Ren: *strumming blues guitar* 🎸🎶

Neon: *adjusting recording equipment* These guys could be the next big thing!

———————————————————————

Qrow/Raven: *dancing erotically on the bar* SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS-SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS-SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS-SHOTS!

Taiyang/Sun/Neptune/Ren/Jaune: *raising shot glasses* EVERYBODY!!!!

———————————————————————

Announcer: Here we are, at the final table of the Schnee Dust Casino (SDC) poker tournament! The final two players are the feared Sienna Khan and the young first-timer from Vale!

Taiyang: Holy cow, the kid’s killing it out there!

Raven: He must be some kind of gambling savant!

Sienna: *pushes chips forward* All. In. 😠

Jaune: *drunk and wearing a ridiculous amount of bling/sunglasses, pushes chips forward to call Sienna’s bet* 😎

Neptune: Look at him! He’s so calm! The pressure isn’t getting to him at all!

Sun: He’s got ice in his veins!

Ren: *drunkenly holds up a shot glass in salute* WHOOOO!!!!! Go, brotha, go…! 😆

Jaune: *looks at his cards*

Jaune: …I can’t see the cards with these glasses…I hope I have something good…!

#rwby #jaune arc #lie ren #sun wukong #neptune vasilias #Taiyang xiao long #qrow branwen #raven branwen #junior xiong #arkos #jaune x pyrrha #jaune arc x pyrrha nikos #renora #ren x nora #lie ren x nora valkyrie #sienna khan

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mixelation · 7 months

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unfortunately i really like minato completely wrecking iwa's shit but it's fundamentally incompatible with the POINT of the whole arc because team 4 needs to wreck iwa's shit. so now im debating similar story beats but it's an "iwa kidnaps genin!naruto" scenario. sorry to iwa for being this fic's punching bag ig

i'm thinking it's a team 7 adventure? no one has c ranks go wrong like them....!!

i'm thinking iwa doesn't even take them back to iwa, but they somehow separate the genin from kakashi and hold them captive somewhere. story beats:

we can't just leave the kids as completely hapless prisoners, so sakura gets herself out of her cell and goes and gets the boys out. she does this by looking deep inside herself and asking: what would tori do?

now there's genin LOOSE in the PRISON. they do not know what they are doing but they DO know many ways to make a fire!!!!

i've been headcanoning that naruto just like. has hiraishin markers on an alarming amount of his possessions. some of them (like the ones on his clothes) are for safety and some of them are just "naruto keeps forgetting his bento places so minato's solution is to make it so he can teleport to where it is." unlike kushina naruto doesn't have any on his body bc they're permanent and minakushi wanted him to make the choice himself when he's older (like, minato could and would take it off if naruto asked, but letting naruto have independence and make his own choices is important to them)

anyway iwa is paranoid af so they've removed all of naruto's possessions. no hiraishin markers. BUT, if it's post Cave Incident, the limitation of the marker needing the jutsu user's chakra is gone!! so they just need to make a marker with their OWN chakra and get a message to minato somehow that he should use it

naruto: okay i can summon a small frog and i know how to draw the marker. i just uuuuh sasuke: what naruto: have no idea how to infuse chakra sasuke: why

anyway they figure something out and get a rescue. idk maybe it's not even minato. maybe they get team 4. maybe itachi gets to go a little feral about his brother

minato is like maaaaan i tried playing nice, but okay.

i think..... given the way i've set up fuinjutsu...... and given they can hijack other people's hiraishin markers...... the one tori made out of blood in a fit of spite should be a functioning marker now????

tori: yeah i mean it's blood, so. just do the math minato: omg math <3

so team 4 goes and gets the genin and minato goes and visits iwa. i do want him to be horrible about it so maybe he intentionally fucks around to set off alarms and get more people out and about. then he goes and find oonoki and is like. look. we talked about this. what the fuck, man.

and then he still paints a maker on his forehead <3

#this new version DOES lack itachi's '????? what the fuck' moment #which is sad :(#reborn au

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