#like im really there in any capacity u want me to be

[sophiethewitch1]

fibro fog one day im gonna get your ass

#sophie speaks #tw vent #i have had. some strong pain killers and everything still hurts very very much #i know its bad when i cant stop like. panting almost?? like usually im good hiding my pain because #because chronic pain teaches u to do that but sometimes it turns me into a barely functioning animal #vampire core (i have consistent migraine-like symptoms were the sun is physically painful) #its not fairrrrr i have ENERGY i want to do STUFF but i can not leave my room because sound and light HURT!!!!!!! #aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh #and i cant even write because i cant THINK WAHHHH #throws a tantrum <3 #i think i really do gotta push for some stronger pain killers this is not survivable in any capacity

[eggyrocks]

bloody nose: kuroo x calloused hands reader

calloused hands masterlist // main masterlist

warnings: violence, blood, swearing; grammatical errors, not proofread, i wrote this just for me so it's probably not great

an: here it is. my self indulgent bonus chapter that’s got my fingers itching. i wanted to write this so fucking bad i genuinely do not even care if it’s good tbh; im sure if you wanted to read this without reading all of calloused hands u could but it’s probably better in context

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧

their set's not going well.

it might have something to do with the venue; it's a small, cramped basement bar with only one way out and one way in-the old and creaking staircase that looks like it's one bad day away from collapsing. it might be the fact that the bouncer's stopped counting heads and the bar's way over capacity. could be the hot humid air that's suffocating them and only getting worse with each person that claws their way towards the band.

but it's probably the heckler.

yn's generally not really bothered by that sort of thing. it's not like this is the first one she's ever dealt with; normally she'll just play over them until they learn their lesson and keep their mouths shut during their sets.

but the bar's fucking tiny and so ungodly packed and hot it's making her just a bit more irritable than usual. every couple of minutes there's some sweaty dude from the pit getting knocked into her and knocking her hand off her guitar, throwing her off and making her fuck up. it's irritating. it's frustrating. she knows her bandmates are getting fucking sick of it too. tanaka's broken more drum sticks than usual.

so when the heckler starts up again, she doesn't really have any self-restraint.

"you guys fucking suck!" comes his voice, ripping through the crowd in between songs.

yn leans up close to the mic until her lips are ghosting over the cool metal. "uhh, suck my dick," she murmurs into the mic, hearing it echo throughout the small space.

she ignores the crowd's reactions and leans back on her heels to make eye contact with yachi. yachi, who, like yn, got so sick of the heat and had to abandon her outer layer of clothes in favor of her sports bra. just one look at her sweat-soaked friend and yn can tell she is just as miserable as she is.

"heckling us won't make us play better," nishinoya says into his own mic, "we're going to suck no matter what you say."

"why doesn't your guitar player suck my dick!"

the reaction is half boos and half laughter, and yn does her best not to react the way she wants to. she just fiddles with her guitar while nishinoya lets out a string of curses and threats into the mic. he kepts it short, though, they've got a show to get on with.

yn wishes she could spot kuroo. she knows he's out there somewhere in the crowd; she keeps hoping to catch a glimpse of his distinctive silhouette-just seeing him there would help her calm down. just a bit.

kuroo's good at making things better for her. he always does it, even when he's not trying.

but all she can see over the lights that shine in her eyes is a shapeless mass of huddled bodies, indistinguishable and formless. she can't pick out kuroo. she can't see his face and she can't calm down.

"this next song's called rot," nishinoya anounces, and ignores the glare yn shoots him. he's fucking around with their setlist again. "it's about dying and getting eating by worms."

tanaka counts them in, and yn tries to focus all of her energy on playing. she's hoping to take her frustrations out on her guitar; and either way, she always plays great when she's in a bad mood.

but they're not even half-way through the first verse when yn notices something whipping over the heads of the audience. in a fraction of a second, she realizes it's a beer can. sixteen ounces.

and then, the next second, it's hitting her in the temple.

her hand leaves her instrument and flies to cup the spot she got hit. the beer can hits the floor and it's spraying sudsy, warm alcohol all over her. she crouches down in pain, trying to blink away the hot, thick liquid that now drips down into her eye.

there's a hand on her shoulder, and the sweet words of concern in her ear confirm that it's yachi. yn tries to stand up straight, despite the dizzying pain radiating in her skull, and tries to get a look at what's happening in front of her.

strangers are trying to crowd her, to get close to offer help or see if she's okay or just get a better look at exactly what happened. nishinoya is pushing people away, telling them to back the fuck up, now. tanaka's grabbing yn by the shoulder and trying to keep her steady. yachi's pressing one of their discarded tshirts against yn's forehead, trying to slow the bleeding.

and there's a familiar outline of bedhead, stomping up the stairs of the bar, dragging a protesting body behind him.

haphazardly, yn rips wires out of her guitar and shoves herself forward, elbowing her away through the swarms of people, leaving behind her bandmates, bloodied tshirt, and still fizzing can of beer.

once she climbs up the stairs and out of that basement, the cool air is on her skin, on sweat, on the beer-soaked clothes she's left in, and she's suddenly freezing.

but she doesn't really focus on that. yn just stands there and stares as kuroo, her beautiful kuroo, holds the heckler up by his collar, sneering at him. "what the fuck is wrong with you?" he screams into the trembling face of the other man. "you could've killed her!"

"it wasn't supposed to hit her!" he insists, and suddenly does not have the smug edge to his voice he did when he was telling yn to suck his dick. "it was an accident, dude!"

yachi appears at yn's side then, mouth open like she's about to ask if yn's okay, but she stops at the scene before her, just taking yn's hand in hers.

kuroo's grip on his collar is tight, and if the bruising on his knuckles or the bleeding of the heckler's mouth are any indication, he may have already gotten a hit in. he doesn't look away from the man in his grip. "yn, are you bleeding?"

she squeezes yachi's hand. "yeah," is her casual answer. she winces, blood sill trickling down her face, and the pain in her head still throbs.

"kiyoko's looking for something to stop the bleeding," yachi tells him, a nervous tremor. "tanaka's getting the van so he can drive her to the hospital-she's gonna need stiches."

kuroo lets him go, then. dropping him so quickly that the heckler only just gets his bearings before kuroo is pulling his fist back and then slamming it into the nose of the heckler. there's a pleasant crunch. yn tries to appreciate the sight of it, but she's just getting so damn lightheaded.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧

by the time they get out of the hospital, the sun has started rising. kuroo's driving the band's van with one hand on the wheel and the other gripping onto his girlfriend's thigh.

her bandmates, who insisted on staying with them the whole night, are now sleeping in the back, and their not soft and not gentle snores are fill the van.

yn looks over at kuroo and grins. she reaches towards him and gently carsses the cut that stretches across his nose. "you got battle scars now. can't believe you headbutted that guy."

he scoffs. keeping his palm flat on the wheel, he stretches out his fingers and examines the the scabbing over his knuckles. "my hands were starting to hurt and i need them for volleyball. i was running out of options."

"it was really hot, by the way," she tells him, teeth poking through broad smile. kuroo flicks his eyes away from the road for just a second to see it. "you were all bloody and sweaty like, 'oh, i'm gonna fucking kill you that's my girlfriend,'" she says, in a poorly done imitation of kuroo.

he laughs. "im just glad you're okay. if you had gotten a concussion i would've had to track him and down and give him one of his own."

"you need more than a beer can to take me down," she boasts. and then, without much warning, leans over towards the driver's seat to place a kiss on kuroo's cheek. "thanks for beating the shit out of that guy for me."

"i'll always beat the shit out of someone for you, babe," he tells her, only half-joking. "you're my girl. of course i will."

she smiles, and places her hand on top of his, resting her head on top of his arm. "i'm totally gonna fuck the shit out of you after i sleep for like, twelve hours, by the way."

kuroo smirks, and from the back, through a haze of sleepiness and snores, nishinoya says, "you guys are fucking gross."

taglist: @wyrcan @rieieieieieiei @thechaosoflonging @publicbathroompanic @bedeater @rottingt1tz @rintarawr @deluluforcarlos55 @ahseyy @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @baskin-robinhoods @nnnyxie @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @macchiatomegumi @hikikaimar @noodleswastaken @garden-of-bri @rinaheartss @infinitelytimebound @scxrcherr @eyes-ofhell @sleepy-time @polish-cereal @literally-a-ferret @crownj1min @sereniteav @kozuskitten @02shuuu @rasisarchive @marzzn @barricadesenthusiast @yvjitadori @yeehawslap @phoenix-eclipses @lcvestays @thirtykiwis @kitty-m30w @causenessus @notsaelty (i wasn't sure if i should include the taglist since this is just a bonus chapter but u know what. fuck it. here u guys go).

#kuroo x reader smau #haikyuu smau #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq x reader #hq x you #hq #kuroo smau #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #Spotify

[re--feminize-me]

hey yall, i was @re-feminizeme and unfortunately i cant log into my old acct on my new phone so i made a new one!!!

Mandatory disclaimer that transphobia in real life sucks and so does misogyny etc and i dont condone pretty much anything on this blog if its not in a consensual kink context, obviously. If this content triggers you pls block me.

loves

forcefem/feminization!!!!!!!

bondage esp shibari

brainwashing/conditioning/mind control

hypnosis!!!!!

breathplay

double penetration

edging & denial

being choked

likes

cnc (if in the mood)

breeding

bimbofication/dumbification

gaslighting/manipulation

spirals

being drugged (consensually and for the right person), esp. aphrodisiacs

degradation in very specific like, um, ways??? like um, i like sweet degradation.

exhibitionism but like um, im not like, TOOOOO into this its a minor kink for me

misogyny kink (which like, seems 2 be getting stronger lately fsr????)

curious about

lactation

hucow

consensual blackmailing

will update as i like, think of more???? if u think of anything not on this list ask me about it n like, it just may get added hahahahahaha

hard limits

findom/me

vomit

watersports/scat

cgl/ddlg/daddy dom anything

age regression

alternate personality stuff/anything related to that

feet

body shaming, esp weight related

weight control

racism/racist slurs/etc

any kind of incest including daddy/mommy as a title

ass to mouth in any capacity

rimming (giving)

I'm picky about who i like, chat with, um, but playing is a possibility if i like u 😳 feel free to send me asks/anons tho i always luv getting those ♡♡♡♡

_______________________________________________

some of my hypnotic triggers im like, willing 2 share publicly

dr*p and sle*p - some obvious ones, put me into a trance

deeper and deeper - makes me go deep real fast if used after dr*p and/or sle*p

throb - makes me really horny and makes my cunt, well, throb

edge esp in all caps/bolded - makes me immediately reach an edge and if im touching i HAVE 2 stop until the edge has passed

like a good girl - makes me want to obey whatever precedes it

submit/surrender - makes me feel very obedient n like, submissive

tr*th - makes my subconscious answer a question without my conscious mind being aware of it and i will immediately forget answering the question after

_______________________________________________

i occasionally make detrans/misgendering/bimbofication files (you can find them here!!) but im primarily a sub.

I've been listening to hypnosis for like 3-4 years and this is like, how ive turned out bc of it???? I really am detransitioning n becoming the best bimbo i CAN be irl this is not like, ENTIRELY a fantasy for me. ask me abt it??

my tits are like,,,, soooo big omg. last i posted abt them on my old blog they were a DDD/F cup and now theyre an i cup??????? i like, hope they keep getting bigger 😳😳

[stevie-petey]

hiya m! hope all is well and ur doing good with school stuff. do u maube want to do something from nancy's pov? specifically about maybe her feelings on r and johnathan's closeness and how she feels a little like she's intruding/unsure if she's stepping on toes, or maybe even how close r and steve are (though i don't think she suspects or makes anything of it at this point but i'm not sure). just something about her thoughts on r and her closeness with one of the boys would be so very delicious <3

hi my dear !! im doin well and have no pressing assignments today so <3 we rock n roll. ur blurb is fantastic and i hope i did justice to nancys character shes an intimidating person to write tbh

enjoy !

“how long until they finally get together?” barb asks nancy, the two of them watching as you and jonathan walk towards your locker.

“jonathan and y/n?” nancy closes her locker. “i dont know, havent really paid attention to them.”

barb pokes her with the tip of her pen. “liar, arent they always hanging out with your brother?”

“mikes life is none of my business.”

“fair, but c’mon. you seriously cant be telling me that you dont think jonathan and y/n will get together soon.”

nancy doesnt say anything, hoping that if she doesnt respond then barb will drop the subject, but she knows she has a point. nancy had been lying before, she does pay attention to you two.

not in a creepy or judgmental way, but of course shes paid attention to you and jonathan. how could she not? the two of you were like this inseparable pair of endearing grandparents. always bickering and yet always holding each others hands through it all.

nancy thinks its sweet, in a way. to have someone care about a person so much and with such devotion. to be taken care of. it was obvious, even to nancy, that the two of you really loved each other.

its also why she kept her distance from you two, though. nancy felt like there was never any room in your little planet together, but she didnt mind. she had barb, steve harrington winked at her last week; she was doing fine.

but when nancy began hanging around you and jonathan because barb went missing, she started to fear that there really was no room for her on the planet you guys inhabited. she always felt three steps behind in the conversations with you and jonathan. the two of you had long perfected an unspoken language and nancy was helpless in deciphering it.

but she had to push down the uncertainty to find barb. thats all nancy cared about, even if sometimes jonathan looked at her like she was someone other than perfect nancy wheeler. like he was interested in her intelligence rather than her beauty.

it was nice. really nice.

no one had ever taken her seriously before.

but then nancy would see you in the background, hovering over jonathans shoulder as you always have done, and she’d feel like shit afterwards.

nancy knows you love jonathan, and the way he looks at you when you arent looking at him, she cant deny that he loves you, too.

what she cant figure out, however, is the capacity of love between you and him. despite days of being around you two, seeing all your interactions and small gestures and nicknames and adoration between you, nancy cant figure out if its romantic or something else.

and after watching you and jonathan for a few days, nancy concludes that you guys dont seem to know whats between you either. theres a thin line that hangs over you and jonathan. a thread of almost thats so precariously thin.

and nancy doesnt want to be the one that severs it.

so when she gets paired with you in the shed that night at the school to find will and barb, nancy takes her only opportunity to reassure you that shes not a threat. nancy isnt an idiot, shes seen the way you look at her after jonathan has done something kind towards her.

“i dont want to intrude.” nancy tells you, with all the sincerity and truth she can offer. she really, truly doesnt want to step over the line with jonathan. she understands that hes yours and youre his in a way that she may not ever fully know. but she still respects it.

nancy wants to be your friend.

but she also wants jonathans understanding of her, too.

its a dangerous and blurry and confusing thing.

and sometimes nancy is terrified she’ll fuck it up, hurt everyone in the process, but shes also been perfect her entire life.

nancy wheeler understands that selfishness is not inherently wrong, but every time shes selfish, the people she loves the most get hurt.

thats one thing barb taught her.

nancy refuses to hurt anyone else, especially someone as selfless as you, as genuine as jonathan, and as sincere as steve.

none of you deserve it, so nancy bites her tongue and goes to parties and makes sure to always leave a few inches of space between her and jonathan.

anything to keep everyone afloat.

#ask #procrastinationprincesses #come home blurb #m’s writing #m speaks #set throughout seasons 1 and 2 #does this make sense ????? #nancy is such an interesting character

[conkorse]

Can I ask how you pick your colors? I'm very fascinated by it and how well it works with your style

sure i will try my best 2 explain !!! >_<

typically i start drawing my main subjects on a grey colored background. this makes it so my color range is alot larger than if i sketched and colored on a white/lighter background because the colors that surround your piece will affect how they are perceived. i will attach an example below:

as you can see the drawing on the left (which is a wip i havent posted this drawing yet lulz) heavys skintone changes to match the context of the colors in the background which when you compare that bg to the bg on the right it is much darker in comparison. i also simply wanted to play around with colors coz i try not to restrict myself in any capacity. coloring is the most fun part of drawing to me and part of that fun comes from imposing zero limitations on myself which is why alot of my art has the most stupid ass color combinations u will eva see #live #laf #lov

this is what my drawings typically look like once i finish the actual main subject of the piece as you can see scout n pyro are in a grey void gidbles them. i typically do backgrounds last (which is something i should prbably change up sometime soon) because i tend to create them around the main drawing and it makes it easier for me to make everything more cohesive in the end because i can make the background however i want to fit the main drawing. i do not recommend doing this 24/7 becoz then u will struggle with environmental backgrounds/perspective shit and other stuff which is something i want to get better at but struggle with alot hashtag supaaa mega sad hashtag noob lyfeee

as for coloring itself and choosing colors its really just a combination of experimentation (and by that i mean i go through so much of the color wheel before i decide on something) and intuition. i already have an idea of what looks good together well in mind because well ive spent quite alot of time fine tuning ermmm idk what 2 call it i guess my color sense ??? hallppp but anyways i really recommend not just using bright/neon colors exclusively! the best way to make colors pop is to couple them with more muted ones so the contrast is better evident btwn the two. OH ANDD i tend to try not to use straight up black and white/grey to portray those colors. for example if a character has ermm lets say a white shirt i wont use white or grey colors to depict it but rather maybe a light cyan orrr yellowy green :p

i also overuse textured brushes and patterns in my art alortttt (see abovee) HALP so maybe try that??? i use clip studio paint and there are so many rly awesome textured brushes that i overuse coz they r SUPAAAA epik. IDK im just rambling but your biggest take away from this should be to GO EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! and have fun anddddd mix "ugly" colors 2gether coz u just can never know what will and wont work unless u try :33

ALSO I ALMOST FORGOT play around with this feature in csp if u have it coz its another way i create textures (my heavy mii shown as an example) and here is a link to a tumblr post where i link all of the brushes i use in csp 0 .o I HOPE THIS HELPS SOMEWHAT!!!!!!!!! SOZZZ I AM NOT THE BEST AT EXPLANING >_<

#conk talk #if theres grammar errors PLZ ignore them EEEKK!!!! ill fix it l8rrrr

[mitraoki]

hi!!!! :> first i just wanna say i really love your writing, it's so cozy and comforting to me !! so i thought i'd request some comfort hcs, maybe geto (if u write for him!!) and gojo with an s/o on their period? if you're comfortable writing it ofc <3 hope you have a lovely day !!

when you're on your period. (jjk hcs!)

note; AAAAA hello anon!! i’m sooo glad you enjoy my writing!!!!🥺❤️i really hope i can offer you more comfort with these hcs you've requested!!! also my first time writing for geto so i hope you enjoy them! <333

requests are still open!

masterlist.

geto suguru.

+ okay i don't know why but just from the looks of it, geto is a professional. no doubt - you wouldn't even have to tell him about the basics - this man just KNOWS everything about periods. so imagine how easygoing is it for the both of you when it comes to taking care of you. (giggling and kicking my feet as i write this)

+ no one, and i mean NO ONE is allowed to disturb you while you're doing unwell. they're gonna have to get through your boyfriend first. 

+ little scenario i thought of: it was the around the beginning of your relationship with him when he realizes that you started complaining about your abdominal pains. he's concerned of course, but he also knows that if he starts to panic, he wouldn't be able to handle what you were going through. soon realizes it's possibly that time of the month (i told you, he's a genius.) prince charming right here makes sure he guides you to the bathroom safe and sound, standing right in front of the door, just in case you call out for him. 

+ SUCH A SWEETHEART!!! this dude makes sure to ask if you were okay when he doesn't hear any sign of you from the outside. doesn't want to breach your privacy. reassurance if you ever need it too. he has also heard of cases where people have passed out while on their periods, so once again, no risking anything. he's quick to his feet, getting you whatever you asked him for. 

+ guides you to your bed if the pain is severe. there's just something about the way geto takes care of you - he doesn't want to pry too much by asking you tons of questions, but he also doesn't want to leave you be. 'do you need anything, dearest?' he questions. soon after he returns with a heating pad, painkillers, warm water (tea if you're up for it) and your favorite snacks. plants a kiss on your forehead (because you once claimed that his kisses always make you feel better, so he's had that habit ever since <3) EVEN offers to stay with you if you need it PLSPLSPLS-

+ if he's out and about and you need some supplies, never be afraid to ask him!!! he understands that periods are a monthly thing, and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. definitely knows your preferred menstrual products. if you think he's only going to return with what you requested, no chance. 'never wrong to spoil my angel,' he shrugs. 

gojo satoru.

+ NO BECAUSE the first thing when i thought of gojo is him asking you 'what pussy size are you' IM SORRY OKAY 😭😭he loves you a lot though i promise you that. i would say gojo is a little underexperienced when it comes to periods. although he would do anything to keep himself informed, especially since he is confident he will spend the rest of his life with you <3 

+ unlike geto, gojo would panic. worried too. how are your uterus walls discharging? and it's blood too. oh god how is his s/o handling the pain... you'll be okay right? man it doesn't look like it but gojo overthinks till his brain reaches full capacity. so he asks. and he will continue asking until he makes sure he's prepared for your future menstrual cycles. 

+ i feel like this little fear of his developed from the time when you were unwell, and he was left in a spiral of guilt as he wasn't able to provide proper help. it happened when he was out on a mission too so in a state of panic, he had shoko/nobara/maki provide you with some help. one thing i can say though is that the exact moment he was done with whatever he was tasked to do, he had never rushed home as quickly until that very day. 

+ 'i don't want you to blame yourself gojo. i know you've not handled situations like these before, but it's nothing too serious,' you'd told him, before adding, 'god you look famished. take a breather, honey.' he was pretty stubborn that day too. 'serious or not, i don't want anything bad to happen to you. i wasn't even here to help.'

+ waves of guilt shone in his eyes. despite his confident, charming demeanor he presents to you everyday, in the end he's just another human being. people tend to forget that about him, and he manages to trust you enough to let his complete guard down. holding his hand, you stated, 'you have, satoru. and when you need it, i can always guide you through it.' 

+so ever since then, he has your dates marked in HIS calendar, makes sure your supplies are restocked up to date. your favorite snacks out of stock in a certain store? don't you ever worry about that - gojo has his ways. will definitely inquire more about periods with the girls i mentioned earlier. ensures you're not alone when he's outside. oh but when he's at home, he lays right next to you. loves it when he's able to place his hand on your stomach when you need it <3 keep in mind that his series of questions would continue too. all he wants is to be able to provide you with literally anything.

+ and despite all this, HE'S SO GOOD at handling your mood swings. it seriously does not bother him. i don't know what he's on either, but i can tell people come to him just to ask him about how he does it so easily. you're pretty surprised yourself. angry? no problem, he can find a way. crying? he's got your back. tired and in pain? a breeze, really. gojo stumbles quite a lot when it comes to learning something new, but give him some time and he's already up and running. what can i say? he is in love.

all created content belongs to mitraoki. reposts/remakes are not allowed.

#snow.writing #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojo jjk #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru #suguru geto #suguru x reader #satoru gojo #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen x you #geto jjk

[refeminizeme]

hey yall, i was here, went 2 @re--feminize-me m i was having some tech issues on my other acct and decided 2 give this one another shot!!!

Mandatory disclaimer that transphobia in real life sucks and so does misogyny etc and i dont condone pretty much anything on this blog if its not in a consensual kink context, obviously. If this content triggers you pls block me.

_______________________________________________

kink list

loves

forcefem/feminization!!!!!!!

bondage esp sh1bari

brainwashing/conditioning/mind control

bimboification/dumbification

hypnosis!!!!!

breathplay (incl. being choked and more)

dp

edging & denial

sensory deprivation ♡

humiliation

consensual blackmailing but only w ppl i REALLY trust

gaslighting/manipulation (consensually and negotiated first, and only w the right person so dont do this right out the gate)

likes

cnc (if in the mood, with the right person i trust, etc)

breeding/sometimes pregnancy

spirals

body writing

intox (consensually and for the right person)

degradation in very specific like, um, ways??? like um, i like sweet degradation.

exhibitionism but like um, im not like, TOOOOO into this its a minor kink for me

transfemme supremacy

misogyny kink

hucow

curious about

lactation

will update as i like, think of more???? if u think of anything not on this list ask me about it n like, it just may get added hahahahahaha

hard limits

findom/me

v0mit

watersports/scat

cgl/ddlg/daddy dom anything

age/re

alternate personality stuff/anything related to that

feet

body shaming, esp weight related

weight control/eating disorder stuff

racism/racist slurs/etc

any kind of inc3st including daddy/mommy as a title

ass to mouth in any capacity

rimming (giving)

_______________________________________________

some of my hypnotic triggers im like, willing 2 share publicly:

dr*p and sle*p - some obvious ones, put me into a trance

deeper and deeper - makes me go deep real fast if used after dr*p and/or sle*p

thr*b - makes me really horny and makes my cunt, well, throb

edge esp in all caps/bolded - makes me immediately reach an edge and if im touching i HAVE 2 stop until the edge has passed

like a go0d girl - makes me want to obey whatever precedes it

submit/surrender - makes me feel very obedient n like, submissive

tr*th - makes my subconscious answer a question without my conscious mind being aware of it and i will immediately forget answering the question after

(these are censored so i can read them but use the actual word in asks if u wanna use them!!!!)

_______________________________________________

i occasionally make detr4ns/misgen/bimbofication files (you can find them here!!) but im primarily a sub.

I've been listening to hypnosis for like 3-4 years and this is like, how ive turned out bc of it???? I really am detransitioning n becoming the best bimbo i CAN be irl this is not like, ENTIRELY a fantasy for me but i dont like, condone this stuff outside of a consensual kink context to be clear. ask me abt it??

I used to be ftm and hypnosis fixed my brain ♡ now to fix my body lmaooooooo

my tits are like,,,, soooo big omg. last i posted abt them on this blog they were a DDD/F cup and now theyre an i or j cup depending on the day??????? i like, hope they keep getting bigger 😳😳

also fwiw i AM a bigger girl, which like, means dont expect me to be the waifish manic pixie dream girl many guys like, seem to expect??? My icon + header are both me so that shld give u an idea of what to expect from my pics.

Also i do "commissions" for pics, audio, videos/gifs, etc just lmk what ur looking for n im sure we can arrange smth!! For those interested I also also have a gdrive folder of my fave nüdes (23 pics, 2 vids, n a gif) for whatever u think is a reasonable donation ♡ I'm trying to raise money for several fun detrans things so I'm like,,, open to negotiation on that. DM me if any of that interests you!!

Alternatively, follow me on Loverfans here, for free (lewd content) or $5 a month (the good stuff) ♡ Easy peasy.

also, im in a polyamorous relationship and if i like you we can play, but dont start off with either "hi" (boring) or "hello slut throb" etc like.... straight up you need to treat me like a person first before ill let you treat me like a toy.

[nyxi-pixie]

yosano is so dear to me because as much as i usually dislike the trope of 'one of the only regular female characters in the show gets healing powers because what else would a woman have' i do really like when that trope is turned into an insidious distorted mess.

I'm putting a readmore bc holy fuck if i start talking about yos i DO NOT know how to stop.

Like she has healing powers but the ability ITSELF is horrendously violent (needing people to be basically dead before they do anything), and she is not the kind of person you would associate with traditional healing character traits. Most of the time, they're maternal, and friendly, and soft spoken, and reserved.

Yosano is none of these things.

Quite frankly, she's a hater. and that's not to say she's unpleasant, necessarily, because she isn't. but she's a little demanding, and a little unhinged, and a lot prone to violence.

(and the dislikes on her profile refer exclusively to men. (shes an icon))

And shes like that because she is the outcome of what an ability like that, a responsibility like that, would do to a person.

Because every time she faces someone dying, there are two options: unbelievable guilt that comes with Not saving someone, or the perversion of death that comes with bringing them back. That complete and utter refusal of the natural order.

What do you do when respect for life hinges on a person's ability to die, and you have not just the power, but the expectation, to take that away?

which leads us to her backstory.

she's eleven. ELEVEN. what eleven year old has any understanding of life and death? of the importance of endings and letting people rest?

she's basically playing god and she barely even understands what that means. Or perhaps more accurately, she's playing puppet for mori playing god.

So she's there, and it's kind of a boring task at first. Like a very cavalier 'I'm here to save you all that's my job you should congratulate me bc im sm cooler than u losers.' But then she speaks to the soldiers, grows to care about them, and suddenly this ISNT a job. Its saving them out of compassion, out of a desire to see them alive. to make sure theyre okay.

and then they keep dying. and she brings them back, and they die again, and again, and again, in an endless cycle that can never end and while she's doing it unwillingly by that point, the reason they can live to suffer again is because of her.

And in realising that, in trying to put an end to that pointless cycle and Mori preventing that by shooting someone she cares about in front of her, she cannot give them reprieve because of the very ability that got her into this position in the first place. By that ability, and, ironically, by that compassion of hers.

"You are too just."

She cares too much to do what she knows is right, what she knows is kindest for the soldiers. She hasn't grown used to losing people (partially because she's eleven, but mostly because death doesn't exist to her) so she can't accept it.

and when everything goes down hill, she still thinks of it all as her fault. (even though technically its mori's, and whomever was in charge of their unit for not surrendering)

even fourteen years later, shes still haunted by what happened. even fourteen years later, the balancing act between using her ability, and letting nature run its course, is a delicate one, and one that is only facilitared by her position in the ADA.

its incredible that with that position threatened, the very reason shes learned to live with herself being put in jeopardy, she keeps herself as stable as she does.

so. she's a little bit batshit. very violent when she wants to be. ready to beat a mfer within an inch of their life at the earliest opportunity.

her very capacity to heal is twisted and messy and terrifying. it isn't soft and delicate and sweet, or even reassuring. it's practical. it's useful. but it's deeply unsettling.

and i think thats a very realistic portrayal of what it would be like to have such an unnatural control over life and death.

#yosano akiko #bsd yosano #also when women have healing powers theyre often put on the back burner (“bc theyre too valuable to be in the field!”) #aka 'we dont wanna give them screentime' coughshoko (i mean.its an in-text ISSUE that she cnt be arnd. but still. GIVE HER MORE SCREENTIME) #BUT bc of the way yosanos ability works; with the only-healing-from-near-death stipulation. #she isnt just *useful* in the field. shes practically *necessary* in high risk situations (which is why she HEAVY carried s4) #anyway. yosano makes me chew on my walls etcetc #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #guys im so normal about her i promise

[souji-upseta]

yo my name is nyx, it's my birthday today (2/3). my birthdays have sucked SHIT the past few years for reasons that are depressing—

—cringe is also dead, i killed her myself, and i'm still grieving her loss. its been very hard for me—

—since i am the protagonist of Me and can do st abt this, this year i turn 31, and i will at some point turn 31.4, with all of this in mind, what do i want for my birthday? i'll tell you:

to talk about homestuck.

i'll do that, anyways, but you'd be doing me a gift by giving me a prompt to follow, and to feel slightly more validated in my inability to shut up about my hyperfixation.

so i'm asking YOU to talk about homestuck with me.

talk to me abt homestuck? ask me my headcanons. my thoughts. my relationship to the work. tell me yours. expect nothing that's profound, and plenty that's stupid.

i'm even turning anon on, for the first time in 6 fucking years. where making this happen.

this never expires btw. today is my birthday, but, for story purposes, let's say that it's still my birthday after it isn't, bc i will still want and, if i am honest, NEED you to talk to me about homestuck for years onward. i'm very metatextual like that.

i get the feeling it's going to be a long day.

>Nyx: Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy! What will you do?

>Web Tumblr User: Inbox Tumblr user souji-upseta?

>Mobile App Tumblr User: Do that, but hyperlink is unavailable?

=(n×∞)>

FOURTH WALL BREAK!

you are now nyx again, and i am now me, and i need to exposit some lore.

as in, some starting points to get u going, since "homestuck" is a very broad subject:

•i'm a massive massive slut for the epilogues and post canon content/hsbc. pesterquest is too good for this gay earth.

•dirk is my fav, ALL of the dirks, all of them, and it isn't even close. my fav relationship is the canon platonic/familial one between dirk and dave. i fucking love the striders. dave is my 1.5th fav.

•im more invested in dave's relationship to corndogs (and corn dogs) than you even know.

•mspa reader is my second fav after the striders, bc they are a good thembo friendsimp and also bc they are me and they are You. i might be biased. i love You. i love me. i love us. we're fucking gr8.

•im pretty canon-compliant, so my fav ship is dirkjake as exes (for now), and my fav ship as not-exes is panquadrant (canon) davekat.

i'm also really fascinated by rosemary and would welcome more opportunities to learn abt and talk about them but if homestuck makes a statement about anything it's to let the women and the sapphic characters tell their story (thats a joke, talk to me abt them too)

•june eg(g)bert real.

•i'm fascinated by classpects and the applications of paradox space's classpecting and extended zodiac system when applied to real life, since our only experience of those fictional systems is in linear dimensions of spacetime, and our only experience of astrology is as a species that in-universe cannot experience the sign caste system the same way the fictional aliens that created our species in their own image do. skaia knows, but we sure as fuck don't.

•i'm a former prince of heart (2012-2020) and a current knight of space, and my aspect is light. that is a thing that actually makes perfect sense for the reasons i just said.

don't ask me about vriska serket or (vriska) serket. not bc i'm not willing to discuss dark or problematic characters (hello, lanque bombyx) but bc:

for one, she can speak for her damn self, and has, tyvm.

for two, talking at length about a problematic character in any positive capacity marks you as an enemy of the state if that character is a woman, and being an enemy of the state is way too much fucking pressure for me for reasons i already explained as soon as i told you i'm a knignt of space. i wouldnt make a very good enemy of the state. it'd be an unhealthy blackrom relationship to the detriment of us all.

for three, i can just give you all my opinions/headcanons on vriska that matter:

•JOHN HUGGING VRISKA IN HSBC YESSSSSSSSSS

•she's greasy and gross and unkept af but not unclean or unsanitary, like, she bathes, she smells fine, she changes her clothes, but she's got the troll crust punk aesthetic absolutely on LOCK. she doesn't comb her hair.

•it would have been funny if she did even more bad things

•aradia did nothing wrong. vriska did but the meme is funny even if someone needs to take that meme out back and shoot it for the good of humanity.

•she should beat up ultimate dirk, and my reasoning for that is bc that would, also, be really fucking funny if she did

•john has both punched her in the face and hugged her, and now that john has punched aranea in the face, all that's left is for june—i assume she will have come out of her egg(bert) by then—to hug aranea and complete the circle of stupidity.

•she is trans yeah but she doesn't wanna get into it, she doesn't have to, and neither do i.

•vrisrezi most important relationship in homestuck.

there. you already got me to talk about vriska at length, and you didn't have to try. moot issue.

#homestuck #dirk strider #dave strider #june egbert #vriska serket #dirkjake #davekat #strider bros #homestuck epilogues #homestuck post canon #homestuck meta #homestuck shitpost

[prettyboykatsuki]

Not sure if you read the Jjk manga or see the leaks about the latest death...I'm honestly numb to them now, I guess since they've been coming from left and right. I don't think they're doing much for the plot, I guess I was just wondering your opinion on it? And deaths in general in Mangas and stories, like what do you think is is like a good way to do a death of character so it doesn't feel cheap? I will say, Katsuki's "death" made me sick to my stomach at the time but they are very diff stories. Sorry this is so long :(

with peace and love in my heart i Really do not gaf about jjk anymore at least storywise. i did try to stick with it after gojo but i just did not think it made sense anymore.some times i read leaks but rn its not looking great. no part of the stories direction rn makes me want to keep up with it lol. so in terms of the story im like. damn please just let akutami out of his contract cause he is fumbling pretty bad rn and i cant imagine how it will be resolved.

i dont actually mind manga deaths even if i act insane. i thought gojos death felt cheap and unplanned and didn't make much sense. it's not that he died but that he died so quickly into the fight and that so much was left unresolved as a part of it. that abrupt feeling was not intentional or well-exectued either. even with a story like jjk that prides itself on being gritty and hopeless, there was just nothing beyond shock value and it was wholly uninteresting. nanami had an excellent death even if it made me very very sad. it held the right amount of narrative weight and was timed appropriately for full gutwrenching impact. i did not feel that way about gojos death. and people were calling people gojo glazers for being upset about it but like. of course people are going to be like hm.. wonder if the fact his own mangaka kinda does not fw him plays into this at all. just a little loool.

the most important thing with any chara death is just intent to me. people die. but what makes that death siginficant? a premature, uneventful death just doesn't make sense for a character as monumentally lore relevant as gojo even if that's the intent. it just wasn't anticlimatic in the right way. i cant be unbiased about katsukis death so i wont pretend - but i didn't feel like his death was cheap at least. it was treated with a lot of emotional impact and fell in line well with the gravity of the story / arc. like u said they are different stories and it made sense with the way hori tells the narrative which is what matters. objectively it was a good death, even if emotionally i was ruined lol

i just. dont think gojos death made sense. at all. in any capacity. like. im truly not even that much of a gojo glazer but it felt completely nonsensical to me and still does. why is he just dead lmaooo like what. he is thee six eyes and he got beat tf up in one fight? be serious

#return to sender #bnha manga spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #he didn't have to live but brother cmonnnn lmao #it seems like hori is going with the everyone but one character dies so. poor yuuji fr #i just dont care about it much like genuinely. i love the characters divorced from the story LMAOO

[burninlovebutler]

GAH i didn't wanna do this bc im a gemini & i talk a lot if im unsupervised lol BUT YALL WERE POSTIN SOME SAPPY SHIT SO I WANTED TO JOIN (so sorry this is gonna be so long i apologize in advance)

this wasn't initially the road i was gonna take while talking about this but ofc if u read any of my writing or know me in any capacity, it shouldn't surprise you that we're getting sad lol

as i stood next to my partner watching the midnight fireworks last night, i had a fleeting thought -

16 year old me didn't think i'd still be here at 26 -

i didn't expect to still be on this earth in 2023

when i was around that age my home life was really shitty and abusive and lonely and my only saving grace at the time was the family i found within the one direction/5sos fandom. there were so many times then that my fandom friends saved me, literally.

i wouldn't be here today without them.

i stopped being in fandoms around 2016 and while i still have MANY long term close friends from that time, we all have gone our separate ways interest wise.

I didn't realize just how much i missed being a part of a community until i joined tumblr again. the austin/elvis fandom welcomed me with open arms & filled me with that same youthful joy and connection as i had when i was 16. and even BETTER bc this fandom has blown me away with how kind and gentle and loving it is

point is - i’m grateful that i AM still here, that i’ve been here long enough to meet you and experience this amazing fandom.

it's insane to me to think i would've never met some of the brightest stars of my days without walking into that theater that day. my year would've been so empty, lonely and sad without you all, so thank you all from the bottom of my cold lil heart - you all showed up in my life when i needed u the most

(something weird about this 1D -> Elvis/Aus pipeline is that when i went back to see the day i saw the movie the first time it was on July 23, aka the 1D anniversary 👀 lil weird)

i initially made this blog solely for my fanfic but i'm glad i branched out - though i still wanted to take the time to anyone who's interacted w my writings, even if it was just help with plot or moodboards. my heart skips a beat when my writing is a point of conversation.

thank you to the beauties who grace my dash everyday, even if we don't talk often 💖

@feverkitten @p-oolshark @pearlparty @avengen @presleys @mrsniallhoran505 @missmaywemeetagain @marooosa @eliseinmemphis @elvisabutler @lovininapinkcadillac @aconflagrationofmyown @austinsmutler @heartbrake-hotel @dre6ming @flwrs4aust @rosaminny @presleysdarling @woundmetender @rainydayz101 @ggwritesstuff @golden-kiwis @lattedreamer @weak-aesthetic @bcofl0ve

and of course to my almost daily babes, my days would be so empty without you all and my heart would be so deflated - i never thought i'd end up with a group like this

@succsessions @lllsaslll @cryingabtab @elvisfatass @loving-elvis @nora-nexus-34 @lavenderelvis @luluthesandgoose @powerofelvis @bisexualwvtson @samfangirls @lindszeppelin @infatuatedharleys @ab4eva @sagesolsticewrites @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @jelliedonut @steph-speaks @star-shard @foreverdolly @purejasmine @oh-my-front-door

and how could i ever forget the two that really roped me in @karamelcoveredolicity @troubleinapinksuit - even though it was through war, violence & lawsuits (lol) that our love was carved from, it is the most magical. i am so honored and so grateful to call you friends

one of my biggest goals for 2022 was to make new friends - ones who are reliable, kind, like-minded, supportive, generous, loving - because i was feeling so lonely & unloved, and to my surprise this goal was met ABUNDANTLY by you all, i really can not stress how much you all mean to me

extra special shout out to @bisexualwvtson for setting up the christmas card exchange, it was probably my favorite part of this holiday season - those cards made my whole christmas and i will cherish them forever

i love you all so much its DISGUSTING how much i love you - i don’t know how i would’ve made it through this year without you all - and it makes me so fucking sad when i think about all the memories that wouldn’t have happened without austin/elvis/you guys - it is because of you all that i have some of the best and happiest memories of this year, thank you ❤️

i hope that we are together for a long long time - i know that i am, i’m here for the long haul 💗 pls be in the nursing home with me breaking hips to Elvis songs

love, mel xx

(I APOLOGIZE IF IVE MISSED ANYONE I TRIED MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING MY BRAIN IS TRASH SO IM SO SORRY PLS DONT BE OFFENDED IF I MISSED U I LOVE U)

#i love this fandom #i told y’all it was gonna be novel #IM A GEMINI WHAT DO U WANT FROM ME #happy new year #mushy mel #also so fucking sorry this is so late lol #pls this is just my brand #sorry this is so long lol #this is all over the place jesus #i’m so sorry y’all lol

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

what are your feelings about sukuna... would you have something to say...

VERY INTERESTING QUESTION ANON 👀👀 … i do have some feelings abt sukuna…..

the thing is. to me he just has this allure…….. that very specific villain allure that just makes me want to meowmeowify him. i want to make him blush. is it delusional? yes entirely but idc hes soooo kittycat to me. i love him. i think he’s so funny and cute. like genuinely i cant see him as scary anymore have u seen this:

HES SOO CUTE OKAY.

but just in general !!! i think sukuna is so wonderfully written <333 the more recent chapters w gojo and kashimo made me appreciate his character a lot!! love & loneliness have always been huge themes in jjk and sukuna twists them in a really interesting way. his loneliness basically is his love — people come to him and try to break it by killing him, but he kills them instead. and sukuna himself says that it’s love.

and that’s such a perfect contrast to gojo, too, because gojo’s capacity for love is the most human thing abt him + his greatest weakness, while sukuna’s capacity for love is the most inhuman thing abt him + his greatest strenght. he thrives off his isolation, and from it stems his love. or what he views as love. idk but i like it im obsessed its right up my alley !!

just general takes aside tho im assuming that we’re all specifically asking for sukuna x reader thoughts here and anon… i do. have a fic planned. almost finished. it might disappont u though bc its a no curses au, sukuna is ooc as hell and its PURE fluff. i just turned him into a malewife. thats all 😭😭 literally just sukuna cooking for his silly little reader. put that man in a kitchen i think it would fix him (it would make him worse)

aaa but honestly !! sukuna is a character that i find rlly hard to imagine in any kind of romantic context excluding no curses aus (or any kind of au where he isnt. the way he is LMAO) but !!! i would love to have my mind opened so if u have any sukuna thoughts anon…. 👀👀 i would love to hear them!!

#TY FOR ASKING THIS i like sukuna a lot !! #hes sooooo funny #when he just randomly eats popcorn in his battle w mahoraga……. insane #ask tag ✩

[eirian]

complicated gender thoughts but also read if u wanna see where im at w my gender identity <3

so lately ive been kind of realizing that i Want to identify more on the girl end of the spectrum and have for a while. the only reason i havent before is that ive always felt a sort of pressure to be "Girly" or "a woman" (in the cis way) and so i rejected any sort of femininity, which is why i first id'd as a binary trans guy. i slowly started realizing i was more nonbinary, and then i was a nonbinary guy/transmasc. but now im like. damn idk if im even transmasc. trans still yes, because i 100% identify as nonbinary still. but i might actually be leaning into nonbinary girl now??? which im really wanting to explore and get more comfortable with. its just hard for me bc i dont want people thinking im detransitioning or identifying as cis in any capacity bc im not.

so i guess like. if u wanna help me be more comfortable, you can refer to me as a nonbinary girl and TRY she/her on me <:3 my preference is they/them as always but if u wanna sprinkle in she/her sometimes id be down for that. the ONLY thing i ask is that you use she/her or "girl" or feminine terms on me with the understanding that i am not a cis woman. thats the only dysphoria i ever experience now is people thinking im a cis woman u_u so ya!

[izicodes]

hii <3 im new to coding and am choosing a career path for me. i want to start building sites i guess but i have a few questions that i cant even find on google! when we build sites for ourselves, is it able to hold unlimited data like photos, videos, etc?

also, for the ppl who make tumblr blogs, do you actually code every single thing in the html bc omg!! that is a lot. thank u sm! im a compsci baby

Hiya! 💗 That’s great you want to start building websites, it’s really fun! I can totally help with answering your questions!

Now, in terms of holding “unlimited data” such as media like photos, video, files etc, files depends on several factors. Key thing: A hosting provider is just a site that lets you add your website live online for you - they host you site on the web (that’s how I learnt it). Good examples are GitHub pages, Neocites, Vercel etc.

Hosting Services

The hosting service you choose plays a crucial role in determining the storage capacity of your website. Shared hosting plans often have limitations on disk space and bandwidth, which means there will be a cap on the amount of data you can store for instance Neocities let’s you store up to 1GB of data on their free plan, anything above that and the site won’t work as they don’t have the storage space for you. However, some hosting providers offer larger storage options or even specialized plans for websites with high data requirements - you’ll just have to pay for extra space.

Storage Upgrades

Like I mentioned briefly above, some hosting providers allow you to upgrade your storage capacity as your website grows. This can involve increasing the storage allocation or transitioning to a higher-tier hosting plan that offers more resources. Be sure to check with your hosting provider for available options and any associated costs. This more geared towards much bigger projects than small personal projects you’re building.

There’s more such as using CDNs (Content Delivery Networks) to create more space in your primary hosting provider but I’m not too familiar to talk about it.

It's worth noting that while these options can provide ample storage, truly "unlimited" data storage doesn't exist in practical terms. Facebook, Instagram, Amazon all have a limit somewhere and they would either pay for more space or figure out a way to storage their large data for less space.

Coding everything for Tumblr blogs

I think like the most of us on here, we’re too lazy to code everything and would actually install a theme someone else has made. But for the theme creators, they would code everything in HTML, CSS, JavaScript (if necessary) to build the blog because it is a website and the foundation of web development is those basic 3 (if anything, just HTML to be honest).

A lot of copying and pasting and editing the code, but essentially yeah it’s HTML code with CSS styling and JavaScript functionality to make the blog work. They might add frameworks such as Bootstrap and libraries like jQuery if they wanted! I’m not an expert on Tumblr theme building but I have built websites for work and personal projects and that’s how it is in the basics! 😊

Hope this helps! There’s more to it but this is as far as I know~! 💗

#my asks #coding #codeblr #programming #progblr #studyblr #studying #comp sci #tech

[nahalism]

i was wondering, how did you get to develop your art? im currently in a process where i am trying to experiment and go beyond the need to create art that is realistic (as in "objectively like reality as it is", like I was being told by both school and family). i feel like I struggle a lot to follow my inspiration because of this, and I am also trying to learn how to draw scenes from my own ordinary life, but unfortunately I am quite impatient and frustrated with my inability to create what I wish to create + perfectionism in general makes me scared of using colour as well 😭 I really admire your art so much, both your sketches and finished pieces, and I have always wondered your own learning process throughout the years. please feel free to not reply if you feel uncomfortable cause I know it is a very personal process as well, and above all I hope you are doing well and I am sending you endless love <333

🥺🥺 this is so lovely to receive because if im completely honest there are multiple moments where i feel exactly as you've just described and despite pushing through it, a message like this is very validating that ive progressed in some way

i dont mind sharing at all. i started drawing/painting when i was 21/22 which is relatively late and i was so fearful because despite having a vision for what i wanted to create i lacked any skill that could help me bring what was in my minds eye to fruition. i was also insanely depressed and in the middle of getting my degree at uni (so felt like i had no time to pursue art, at least not to the extent i wanted to). — my plan to get better consisted of multiple things. id draw everyday. i had/have two styles i'd practice, one realism, and the other 'freestyle'? basically draw only from my head and from the rhythms that came naturally to my hand, no references. by doing that, or drawing the human figure/portraits/cars/buildings from my imagination, not only was i reinforcing what id actually learned from my study of the fundamentals, but i was learning to incorporate my own creativity into the rigid structure that sometimes comes from only drawing from reference. by doing that and drawing studies every day i began to build a library in my head of images/poses/character archetypes i could pull from which made drawing from my imagination easier, but also had the structural knowledge of forms/perspective/anatomy to make them look credible. id do this whenever i had free time, and once i left uni began practicing anywhere from 6-9 hours daily. a bit extreme but i felt like i had time to make up for since i started drawing relatively late in life. only tip there is to balance practice with making finished pieces. finished pieces will show you which fundamentals you still need to work on & how much progress you've made. they also show the completion of a thought whereas practice only gives you the tools to bring that thought to reality

just so u know, ur practice of the fundaments is not in vain. you just need to revive your own capacity to draw from your imagination/subconscious. the main thing is knowing your going to find your work horrible for a long time before it gets better. the joy has to come from the process of creating rather than the end product. by the time it gets better, your eye will also have improved, so you still wont be satisfied. thats where growth comes in. being your biggest critic is what will make you great, as long as you remember where you came from (date and keep your work so you can look back on it) and the role criticism plays. separate your skill from your self worth.

something helpful i was once told is along the lines of 'perfectionism is a lie we tell ourselves to justify our procrastination. no one is ever perfect, so the only way to gain skill is to practice. you cant grow if you dont begin. so if your really a perfectionist, your only solution is to start'

i would love to see your work someday and hope i will. wishing you luck and sending you all the courage to begin and be great. you got this <3

#ask

[ssreeder]

SORRY I KNOW U SAID U DONT WANT TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS AND YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ANSWER THIS ASK OR U CAN ANSWER IT PRIVATELY IF YOU'D RATHER i just really cant shut up ever and one thing i cant stand is fic writers getting shit in any capacity like omg what is up with unsolicited 'advice'? in some ways i find it WORSE than if people were just actively rude bc it's so backhanded and passive aggressive that you can't really respond how you want to bc they're not technically being nasty and they say it under the guise of being 'helpful' and it's just YUCK. like shut up!!!! who even asked you!!!!! writing fic is a free, beautiful hobby and for some reason people feel entitled to it in ways they really wouldn't with literally any other hobby and it does my head in, so pls pls dont feel like ur being sensitive. that's the main reason im sending an ask bc i get you've acknowledged that it's annoyed you and why so again sorry if im beating a dead horse here, it's just i hate to see you undermining your feelings about something that IS genuinely really frustrating and disheartening. like it will never not baffle me how oblivious some ao3 commenters are to how much their words can impact a writer. just like you, 99% of all my comments are positive, and yet i can probably list verbatim the handful of not-so-nice comments ive had in the years ive been on ao3 bc they just STICK with me. so yeah. you're very valid and i know you dont need me to tell you but you've got a whole army of people who love your work and have your back, so just remember that when someone decides to be obnoxious xxx

Haha hella I adore you & I don’t ever want you to stop talking.

Yeah I think the reason it irked me more this time was because after I got a few scattered comments I didn’t enjoy I kindly asked people not to do it anymore & then the very next chapter someone did it lol. & even asked if I was getting enough sleep … like…. damn it… really?

again I do think I’m being sensitive because fuck it I’m probably not getting enough sleep haha but damn you don’t gotta call me out like that! Lol. & I get so many wonderful comments and fanart and asks and all that jazz but I can’t help but hyper-fixate on the one not so nice comment haha

& then I over think everything & it ruins the fun hobby I’m supposed to be enjoying lol

I love that you get it, thanks for always being so awesome & now for the second or third time coming to have my back. You’re the best hella :)<3

#I wasn’t going to post anymore of these but I’ll probably post one more #idk maybe other fanfic writers can see it and know we are all going through it #it doesn’t matter who you are #or what you write #there is always some asshole who has access to the internet #that’s going to give their fucking opinion #but yeah I’m always really nice in my responses because I’m so awkward in those situations #I’m just smiling and laughing and saying wwwtttffffffffff #idk I did tell the last commenter to fuck all the way off though lol #they caught me in a MOOD though #thanks for sending this ask hella #& even the last time I was upset about it you let me vent to you #so that was cool #you’re one of the good one hella!! #& im sorry a you get stupid comments too #but im pretty confident the TAOB following would stab a bitch who was rude to you #as they should #don’t fuck with ao3 writers we aren’t paid enough to take your shit people #(get it…. cause we aren’t paid at all….. haha) #ok thanks again hella #hella1975 #ask