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stuckinapril · 5 months

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i’m finding it so difficult to detach myself and cut off a person who i am very much still in love with but who has repeatedly hurt me and strung me along only to dump me when reality hits and they remember im a real person with flaws and emotions and not some fantasy they created

i’m about to be really mean but this person doesn’t give nearly as much of a fuck about you as you do about them. you’re probably romanticizing them, playing a highlight reel of their best qualities in your head, rewinding all the good moments you might’ve shared w them. meanwhile they weighed your best qualities, replayed your best memories in their head, considered the value you add to their life as a person—and still decided it wasn’t enough and chose to dump you.

this was my biggest blind spot when i was going through things like friendship fallouts or my breakup w my ex. i was like but how can i live without them now!! as if they didn’t choose to severe our connection w their whole chest. you might be like “but they might’ve really struggled to do it” and it’s like okay, but they still chose to go through w it. their reasoning to them was more important than having you in their life, regardless of the tremendous energy and emotion that got expended into the decision. that or it took no energy at all, which just means that they were playacting their care for you and never actually gave a fuck. far more sinister.

from the way you described them, they’re still not mature enough to realize that love is hard work. that it’s not just convenience and feeling good all the time. why do you want someone like that in your life? someone who always goes into fight or flight whenever push comes to shove? not sustainable whatsoever. they literally did you a favor by walking out of your life. they saved you more wasted time and effort and pain that would have no doubt stemmed from their avoidant, erratic, wishywashy nature.

you have to get into the habit of not wanting people who don’t want you, whatever the context. i feel like a bit of narcissism is healthy when it comes to this bc i legit don’t care what a person’s attributes are; to me that’s such a fundamental difference in thinking between us bc i’m the dopest bitch i know. and they still don’t want me in their life ?? like ik what i bring to the table and that would be such flawed, ludicrous logic to me. it just gives me the ick and makes me lose interest in them as a person instantly, even if they were great listeners or had a good music taste or were funny or played the guitar really well. doesn’t matter, they still were shortsighted enough to think a life without me in it was a good choice. romantic and platonic breakups do bother me, simply bc i’m very honest w my love and i genuinely value the people in my life, but these days i’m not hung up on anyone for more than a day bc i will never want someone who doesn’t want me. never never never. i don’t have the compulsive urge to make people who don’t like me like me. i have such a don’t let the door slam you on your way out mentality about it. i’ll simply find someone who’s funny and a good listener and plays the guitar well and still cares enough about me not to dump me when it gets hard. doesn’t have to be one or the other.

also do yourself a favor and don’t fill the gaps for them or try to guess what’s going on in their minds. they dumped you? okay they don’t care about you. they cut you off? okay they don’t care about you. they’re not trying to send you subliminal messages on their ig story about how much they still care—and on the very small chance that they are, you shouldn’t want that. you shouldn’t want someone whose peak effort when it comes to you is posting a sad quote about how lonely they are without actually putting the effort into approaching you, apologizing, owning up to their mistakes. until they actually act on it, their feelings pretty much irrelevant & it’s best to assume they just don’t give a fuck. you don’t want someone in your life who always prioritizes their comfort over maintaining their connection w you. ruthlessly remind yourself of that and move on to someone who doesn’t just give you breadcrumbs, if anything at all.

#as someone who attaches to ppl very fast i totally get u #but it’s been wearing off bc most people really do fucking suck lol #i hope this helps !! i tried to talk to u the way i wanted someone to talk to me whenever i went through things like this #ask

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autismserenity · 2 months

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pretty please, my fellow progressives

Could we please all keep in mind that the concept of "The Jews In General, or A Specific Type Of Jew, Controls Education, Government, Media, and/or Banking", is a longstanding antisemitic trope?

And most of all, that it is false??

No, a marginalized group does not also control education, the government, the media, and/or banking?

No, Jews do not secretly control these things and just pretend to be marginalized? No, Jews have not secretly been accumulating power since the Holocaust, granted by too-generous gentiles, out of pity?

No, it isn't better if you just mean a specific subgroup or kind of Jews. It's still specifically Jews.

It's like when people who hate trans/queer people are fine with rich white cis gay men. So they think it's not bigoted to blame "people with blue hair and pronouns" for the downfall of society.

We all know this means, "I only see some of you as human like me. You have to speak and act a certain way to count. Everyone in your group has to pass a test to get into the Good group."

Doesn't work.

Sure, it gives them plausible deniability to the people who matter to them. But everyone else can see exactly how they feel.

We've all known for years that it's bad to think of a marginalized group as having some "good ones." Rein it the heck in, please.

Because YES, all of those examples are ones I've seen implied, or stated outright, over and over, within the progressive community. This month alone.

#antisemitism #anti-semitic #yes this is about how gentiles use zionism #yes this is about how fast it went from 'this isn't NECESSARILY antisemitic' to 'this ISN'T antisemitic'#yes this is about claiming that we claim antisemitism to deflect valid criticism #yes this is part of a larger pattern of violating every progressive standard but only for jews #none of us would ever say 'people are just claiming misogyny to deflect valid criticism'#we would never claim that trans people secretly control or “influence” the government #we would never treat Ukrainians like “'noble savages” who need us to speak for them #but we treat Palestinians like “noble savages” who need us to speak for them #we know to center the people affected and uplift their voices in every other situation #but in this situation we ignore the fact that we're supporting palestinians by talking ABOUT them #we swallow far-right Palestinian propaganda channeled through diaspora organizations #while Palestinians in Gaza demand completely different solutions and support #zionists echo Palestinian solutions and experiences because we know people in Israel and Palestine #and we get told we love genocide or just blocked #this is how Hamas propaganda is designed to work. Hamas has systematically silenced Palestinians for 18 years and now it's all you know #it is genuinely terrifying to see the entire progressive community sound exactly like the alt-right while it absolutely insists it's not #we also know to center marginalized people's voices about what harms them -- except the Jews?#honestly I think that progressives listened before Oct 7 and that the “no we just mean ZIONISTS are evil” has done wonders to reverse that #let's be real the zionists-not-jews trope comes from Hamas too #all it had to do was claim it definitely meant Zionists not Jews and that it was the Palestinian resistance and progressives flocked to it #its fighters were calling home from the massacre to boast about how many Jews they had killed. it has not changed.#i suppose that the zionists-not-jews thing gave freedom to unexamined antisemitism that people felt guilty about #but oh my god it caught on like absolute wildfire #wall of words

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mosswoodgrove · 1 year

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ITS PODZA TIME !!

#pizza tower #if i dont turn everything i like into some form of bug ill die #peppino common pill woodlouse for now if youhave a cooler isopod to suggest please do. and fake pep is just a sea slater lol #went w/ isopod because. roll into ball. fast as fuck boy #it FITS hes rolling through the tower at mach fucking speed #ball form is when u reach max speed #and 2 taunts. lol #also woodlice are just as anxious as he is. they spook so easily but are also just insane #from experience #look at them the wrong way and they scuttle away but once its feeding time its just a battlefield #girlie i promise you dont need to grab that food from the baby and kick it like a horse off the log. theres enough for both of you #slater boy taunt idea taken from bed/upo/lker a heem heem

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brainworms-all-night-long · 2 months

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That ^ and the tags is the only context you're getting

[2,354 words]

---

His ear twitched towards the door, caught by a soft scratch and a clicking sound. Afterwards, the doors slowly cracked open to reveal more darkness, but a small silhouette of a fox was visible amidst it anyway.

Panicked, Nine turned his face towards the wall so fast his neck pricked with pain. Then he haphazardly wiped away the tears and bit down any future sobs threatening to rip through his throat.

Perhaps an over-the-top reaction that only justified the one at the door to step in through.

"Hurt?"

There was only one fox in particular that a raspy and audibly unused voice could belong to, and Nine wasn't sure if it made him relaxed or more distressed.

But besides that, he felt tired and defeated, as such, he unceremoniously collapsed onto the bed.

"Not...physically." But he wasn't sure how truthful that answer was. There sure was a particular headache he hadn't felt in years that was bound to get worse by the morning, his sinuses felt painfully stuffy and there were still leftover muscle cramps from... well, the reason he started crying in the first place.

Nine only barely registers the soft falling footsteps of the other before the mattress underneath him shifted and he snaps just the tiniest bit, happy that the mess of unfamiliar and vulnerable emotions was at least briefly overtaken by comforting anger.

He shoots a glare at the other.

"Why- how did you even get in here? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" He hisses out as he sits back up.

Nothing is sacred to Mangey as he definitely just picked his lock, because the one and only key was hidden in the pocket of Nine's current pants. Dunce hat on him for thinking a store-bought lock would keep any of the workshop's inhabitants out, but they could at least respect the purpose of it!

"Hurt." Mangey simply whispers again and points at Nine.

"It's none of your business."

Pulling his knees to his chest, he then hides his face in them, safely wiping all of the leftover tears into the fabric of his pants. A pathetic display, but he felt it was the lesser of two evils as he definitely didn't favor being openly seen crying.

And It really wasn't. There was no reason for Mangey of all people to care or try to play a therapist with him. (Or ridicule him later, but Mangey hasn't struck him as someone reveling in others' pain. But then again Nine wouldn't blame him) There was nothing he could do but make everything worse actually.

All of Nine's muscles tensed up even more somehow as a feew more tears stained the pants' knees.

And that's all he felt; a painful sting in his eyes and the threat of his chest caving in on itself. He was getting tired of it, yet he couldn't relax if you put a tazer to his head. Bad allegory actually, that would in fact make him 100% more stressed.

What temporarily shook him back to his senses however was the mattress suddenly changing volume under him again and hearing Mangey springing to his feet, following his nose to somewhere around the work table's area.

Nine lifted his head just a bit and narrowed his gaze.

What could he be snooping around there for.

Nine tried to call him out, but couldn't find his voice in time before Mangey was already rummaging through a box that used to be very carefully hidden in a secret compartment Nine made under the table to hide his more precious items, like mints.

After Mangey definitely found what he was looking for, he closed the compartment as if it never been there in the first place. Then he hopped up from beneath the table, stopping right in front of Nine.

"Hungry." Mangey stated flatly as he grabbed onto Nine's hand, who, as confused and done as he was, didn't put up much resistance and let Mangey drop a single blue candy onto his palm.

The kit hopped back onto the bed next to him happily and began unwrapping his own piece of mint that has been stolen from right under his nose.

Nine guessed he really was hungry, but eating a stupid piece of candy sure as hell wouldn't fix half a day of starving.

"Candy is not exactly known f-for its nutritional values y'know." Somehow he managed to choke out and what was meant to be an apathetic remark was stained with emotion. He really wished he stayed silent instead.

But there was no reaction from Mangey whatsoever, so after letting the wave of embarrassment wash over him, Nine went back to staring at the single piece of mint sitting innocently in the palm of his hand.

The white lines on the wrapping blended with his glove until all of the colors blurred together when his eyes welled up with tears again.

He wasn't even sure why, he usually had a reason to cry, and even then, he dared to let the tears spill only when he was sure there was no one around.

Thoughts with no beginning or end swirled in his head and frustration bubbled in his chest while he felt stuck in his own body.

He wasn't alone, so why the fuck was he crying over a stupid piece of candy.

He was sure it wasn't the candy itself that brought him to tears again but he didn't want to unwrap all that.

The ever-pleasant internal voice expressed just a fraction of the disarray he felt, until he almost threw the sweet through the ceiling when something suddenly touched his arm.

Still getting lost in and out of his head and between the real world, he keeps forgetting that Mangey is there. The other fox was now leaning on his shoulder, not paying him direct attention though.

Nine wasn't sure what it was but among the confusing and unpleasant concoction of emotions, he grasped the tiniest sliver of irritation he could find again.

Mangey had the whole rest of the bed to lean on, why come bothering him? Nine doubted it was in any sense comfortable either, especially when he was barely touching him at first. But that tiny bead of more than welcome negative emotion fizzled out just as fast as it came.

He gave up on trying to figure out the enigma that was the little feral fox beside him.

A few more stray tears fell into his lap that he didn't even bother paying attention to, before he practically forced himself to open the candy wrapper and plopped its contents Into his mouth.

Some sense of calm washed over him after the fact. It was barely tangible but it was there, and he figured he knew who to thank for that.

But his back was getting tired from sitting upright for so long, he found that he was generaly more tired than ussuala lately. Nine leaned forward and supported his weight by grabbing the edge of the bed as he let Mangey shift closer to his side.

With the cooling taste of the mint numbing the insides of his mouth and warm presence of another living being leaning onto him, he finally had an anchor point to hold on to and get his emotions in check.

The nigh-toxic sweetness of the candy glued his mouth together, which made talking feel both like a challenge and an achievement.

"Is anyone...did I wake anyone else up?" He finally asked, breaking the silence and addressing the most likely reason for the other fox breaking into his room in the first place.

Meanwhile, Mangey made a noise of disagreement but quickly shrugged afterward.

"I suppose the other two wouldn't just ignore an opportunity to make fun of me in this state huh." Wishful thinking on Nine's part. As much Tails and Sails- and sometimes Sonic honestly, do not forget or forgive once they're out for blood, he knew if they saw him now they would only relentlessly baby him and not let up until he told them what's wrong instead (he wonders that at this point too.) All of which would somehow make him feel worse than being picked on.

Letting out a sigh, he leaned forward even further and crossed his arms over his legs. The sudden shift in support caused Mangey, who did not expect it, to almost fall over. So after letting out a yelp, he threw his legs over the bed and scooted on it fully, leaning back to back with the other.

Nine moved his tails out of the way in the meantime, as having someone sit on them wouldn't be the most comfortable of things.

He suddenly became all too aware of how baren he was.

Finally tearing his gaze from the floor he just realized he was intensely staring at, he looked over the seven mechanical tails lying neatly placed on the table in front of him. He felt that sleeping with them wasn't necessary anymore, and it was much more comfortable when he could freely roll over without the restriction of metal around him.

Besides, no one was supposed to get in his room while it was locked, but someone probably saw it only as a fun puzzle in his way.

Nine narrowed his gaze yet again and looked back at the intruder fox. And while he couldn't hope to see his face, those restless paws of his were nervously fidgeting with the fur on the tip of one of his own double tails, while the other appendage lay neatly placed near his side.

Yea, there was no way in hell to stay angry at Mangey for longer than two minutes.

Returning to stare at nothing, Nine spaced out in the darkness of the room.

But this time, he focused on the warmth pressing against his back, the quiet breathing and heartbeat that reverberated from his chest and bounced off the walls...

And then there was another rumble added to the mix. One that he figured should be quite familiar to him, but never actually heard or produced himself in his life. Plus he doubted he'd be able to purr if he tried it himself anyway.

Even still, it helped him finally relax and unclench most if not all of his strained muscles.

The one thing Nine could always be glad for was Mangey's silence. Despite lacking words, the fox managed to say so much and so loudly with undoubted honesty by his actions and presence alone. (Not to confuse lack of deceit with no sass or attitude mind you.)

And that was more than enough for Nine.

Enough to make him feel more like himself again after..whatever the hell these past three hours were. Scratch that, past these– however long was it since he met Sonic.

Nine let a small smile sit in the corners of his mouth. "Thanks." He softly whispered and despite how barely audible it was, Mangey definitely heard it as he could feel the other fully relax against his back as well and let out a quiet hum.

Nine turned the half-dissolved mint around in his mouth when loud (compared to the drowning silence of the room) cracking, that made Nine's teeth hurt in relation, filled the room.

Mangey bit through the goddamn candy.

Surprised he waited up until now actually, Nine glanced back at the other through the corner of his eye.

"Are your teeth made of steel or what?" A rhetorical question that has been asked multiple times by every possible person who had the honor of giving Mangey any food with a denser consistency, and one that got an appropriate mocking scoff as a response.

Doing a doubletake, Nine noticed a much more glaring issue the other fox brought with him though.

"You- you're seriously laying on my bed with your shoes on?" He directed more of his attention towards Mangey and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"You run on with those outside all day and then proceed to hop into a bed �� my bed — with all that dirt and whatever else is you jump around on all day." He could feel the other tense up again, realizing too late he forgot to add the appropriate amount of sarcasm to his tone to make sure Mangey knew he wasn't actually mad at him, just slightly petty annoyed if that made sense.

Why did he suddenly care about that?

"Don't you act all innocent, take 'em off."

Nine poked him with his elbow gently and with all the affection he could muster in his exhausted state.

The other fox simply grumbled in response and kicked off his shoes to the ground at the opposite side of the bed — which were sure to have woken up someone with their unnecessarily loud thud upon hitting the floor — but not before rolling his eyes.

"...un-be-li-vable." Nine fully surrendered his weight onto the other, and this time making sure the overexaggerated annoyance and headshake were enough of a signal he wasn't all that serious.

His eyes felt sleepy heaviness on them as he caught the dimly lit time of a digital clock sitting on a shelf above the table

4:28 AM

Or maybe the last number was six or three, he couldn't really tell. What it conveyed however was that the previous estimate of three hours of spiraling was incorrect and he rather not think about how much more it would've been had Mangey not invited himself in. In fact, he'd rather not think about anything anymore.

The arbitrary decision on whether to give up tonight's sleep and just continue on into the next day until a sudden and inevitable collapse wasn't given. The soft snores of the one behind him and a tail that wasn't his own that could've easily been classified as a blanket of pure fluff that somehow found his way into his lap didn't give the option.

The amount of his much-needed rest was in the hands of the most skittish, energetic and unpredictable fox one could've left it in, and for some reason Nine was just fine with that.

#sonic prime #prime bros #this started as a small drabble meant for a random post back in like March 2023 #(a fuckin YEAR ago)#and then it spiraled and went forgotten and than I rembered it exists again and uh uh-#yea I'm not a fast writer lmao #anyway #putting Nine through it again #and he gets #a mint :]#and some comfort #this may or may not have been based on my own spiral I went on through during last summer #miles nine prower #nine the fox #mangey tails #mangey the fox #me when I finish writing

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cringefailnatsuo · 2 years

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Nah man because what the hell was this?

First of all, I love how these panels establish a clear difference between Hawks looking at Dabi and Hawks looking at Dabi. In the scene from 240, Hawks is looking at Dabi as he's thinking about completing his mission and contacting Endeavor for backup. Like dude? You're literally staring into Dabi's eyes and thinking about Endeavor and it never crossed your mind that they have the same eyes? Chapter 267 drives this point even further by putting a close-up of Dabi's eye after he reveals his identity to Hawks. You can clearly see Hawks having an "oh shit" moment after the reveal as he truly looks at Dabi and realizes that this one piece of crucial information has been right in his face the whole time.

And second of all, this just highlights how Dabi truly is Hawks' downfall during the raid.

The whole point of Hawks' mission was to gain intel on the League so that the heroes don't make any hasty decisions and have the upper hand in apprehending the villains for good. The fact that the HPSC president specifically told Hawks "we severely underestimated the enemy" and yet he did the same exact thing is, quite frankly, hilarious.

And in retrospect, given the knowledge that we have on Dabi's past from chapter 350, Hawks could have figured out who was behind the nomu, where they were kept, and so many other things about AFO's plan for a successor if he had paid more attention to Dabi.

#bnha #dabi #hawks #dabihawks #canon dabihawks is riddled with irony and that's why it's so great #ok but also i want to know why the hell hawks looked into dabi's background and stopped looking into it when he hit a dead end #like that's so suspicious and he didn't bother digging further?#no 2 pro hero backing down from a challenge??#i wonder how long it took for hawks to give up searching on info about dabi #honestly i'm surprised hawks underestimated him so much considering that fire is his one (1) weakness #and dabi is one of the more mysterious members of the lov since there's no info about him in the hpsc database or whatever #anyway the 'you should have been keeping both eyes on me' line hits different when you realize that dabi was keeping his eyes on hawks 24/7 #seriously the dude went through the trouble of locating takami tomie just to hear this dude's tragic backstory #and dabi copied hawks' move that one time in like 351(?) and someone called him fast or whatever #god i fucking hate narrative foils #ugh these tags are getting LONG but who even reads the tags anymore?#hello i make one original post per month and have now met my quota

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bruqh · 1 month

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what are peoples experiences with the dropout discord?

#dropout #dropout discord #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #i dont go on there often unless i have a specific sort of fandom question #but lately ive been joining the live watch discussions which is usually pretty fun #however any time i go into the regular d20 threads i always get such bad vibes #like without fail there is always someone in there who has recently been complaining about whatever #i am all for being critical of media but some of the discussions feel so negatively charged like #babe its not reddit #anyways thinking about jo on tiktok saying that gorgugs joke about getting through security fast insinuates a solace 911 #and i wanted to talk about it but then i went to fiscord and got anxious sooo #genuinely curious peoples onions!!!

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meanya · 3 months

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Drank a Caramel latte. I have acquired ADHD²

#it didnt cure me its like it went full circle #im distracted but faster. im distracted so fast that its looped back around me to me being focused. does this make sense do you understand #i can vibrate through walls. i can see through my hands. i can shit through my pants. i am made of magic right now #adhd #actually adhd #coffee #caffeine #adhd memes #anya rambles

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st4rstudent · 1 month

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Based off of this

#clemart #macthinker #ttcc #toontown corporate clash #ok i went back and maintagged it but just for the game #you know. i thought that because i had a reference this pose was going to be all fun and joy and rainbows and well #IT WASNT . it wasnt a quick and fast sketch . i went through the 17 stages of grief in my 2 day drawing session but its ok #anyways based off of robot dreams art... OHH IM SOOEXCITED FOR THE INTERNATIONAL RELEASE #I NEED TO SEE IT i read the short story and it was like a thousand bombs hit my house #also ive been playing with colors... its fun. i like to play touys

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system-architect · 7 days

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i've been getting heavily back into gw2 RP lately and i've noticed an increasing amount of gw2 rp events popping up, so i wanna give some unsolicited advice that has helped me grow as a roleplayer + have More Fun roleplaying, in the hopes it helps spark that in other folks too:

1 - follow the "yes, and" rule of improv! RP is all improv! "yes, and" basically means accepting/listening to what your improv partner has said, and then building on it. in a roleplay setting, this can mean having yourself + your character consider and internalize what the other person has said, and then building off of it with their own dialogue/reaction/proposal/etc. it does not mean agreeing with the other character, it means trying to not let the scene die right there even if your character would ordinarily do something like just walk off or ignore the other person.

you sometimes have to force your character to be ever-so-slightly ooc in order to do "yes, and", but it is SUPER worth it. RP is often like you and your partner laying out a series of little tom and jerry mousetraps full of lore and character development and conflict for the other person to step in. try ur best to both step in them and also keep laying them out for the other person, and you will have fun!

2 - fully allow your character to be stupid, embarrassing, make incorrect assumptions, get into trouble, get in over their head, be outmatched, have too much confidence, bite off more than they can chew, and generally fail at things. you can still have a "cool" character in spite of all of these things-- but failure can be fun, and helps make interactions more realistic

2a - relatedly, at all costs, avoid seeing RP as a 'game' that can be 'won' by either character or player. this one should be obvious, but a lot of people behave like this reflexively especially if they're worried about the 'coolness' or 'power level' of their character becoming compromised, so it's good to be aware of. this can kill people's desire to RP with you very very quickly

3 - be aware that your character will, or should!!, grow and change over time as you write and rp them more. if you're sitting there thinking through your next emote and you get a wild idea in your head, or you look at what you just hit enter on and thought "wow, they're acting kind of different, is this too OOC"... consider for a second if it's just a new, unexpected Thing about your character surfacing due to the rp! seeing your little brain guy evolve from a couple paragraph backstory pitch into a fully fleshed out person full of surprises is part of the fun! embrace it! ...and if it IS too much, you can always try to fix it in future rps haha

4 - last, but not least... COMMUNICATE! get to know your partner and their visions for their characters, and their inspirations, the types of stories they like, and so on. make sure you have a firm idea of the sorts of boundaries you want to lay out in your RP-- are either of you cool with injuries, your characters knowing secret backstory details about each other, romance/flirting, lore bending/breaking, and so on! don't be afraid to ask them in party chat before you hit send on something if it feels like it pushes a line, and absolutely bring up any cool ideas you get, too!

#my stuff #sorry kind of rambling i just feel jazzed about rp lately #for fucking real the 'yes and' thing alone has actually saved my writing #i have a lot of characters who are kind of like miserable little loner bitches #and in the past i have absolutely killed rps and completely dropped the ball on my partners with them #you should hold in your mind that both you and the other person need Something to react to in the next sentence #you can kind of stumble through a scene as long as One character is full of ideas and motives #but once it runs out that scene will absolutely dry up #if you were in a convo with a stranger on the train and you already shared everything you wanted to and they just went 'haha. yeah.' it --#would kill the convo pretty fast right? same idea for rp

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