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#like i kno a lot of ppl didnt enjoy it but i actually was pretty satisfied w act 2! i think some of the act 1 stuff should have been
opens-up-4-nobody · 10 months
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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waterbearable · 4 months
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fuck bhaal all my homies hate bhaal
#ari plays bg3#big mad. i just want to kill orin. i understand that this is how fights work sometimes but.#HATE things being difficulty added just because more guys pop up outta nowhere. its annoying. i dont like it.#i have 2 go to bed anyway so theres no way i was gonna get the farslayer but i thought about it for 2 seconds after restarting#and then quit the game sgdjdjdj#props to ppl who have finished this game multiple times because some of these difficulty spikes are. Spiked.#and it is not as enjoyable when you know /you/ have hit a level cap but your enemies have not.#i do not want to be able to progress to level 18 or anything i get that thats a huuuge boost#but like. idk man. level 14?#i just feel like i hit max level way too early in act 3.#anyway i have been a hater for too long in the tags#i do enjoy the game! quite a bit! but act 3 fatigue Hits. i want baldurs gate to be a big city but its a Lot#like. we already know that orin controls the undercity and gortash the city proper.#maybe there could have been a way to make the player choose b/w accessing 1 of the 2 city halves first and then balancing the undercity more#the obstacles to get to orin just feel like a lot more and more draining and closer together#compared to the lead up to gortash#and like. theoretically you could hunt orin down first but part of me is like. how. how would i have done that#to clarify i think my ideal would have been rivington and wyrms crossing always available but then most of the lower city/sewers#should be inaccessible to the party until orin or gortash is killed.#like i kno a lot of ppl didnt enjoy it but i actually was pretty satisfied w act 2! i think some of the act 1 stuff should have been#part of it technically#but i felt like the length and the throughline was pretty decent.#act 3 is a little decision paralysis inducing in a way i dont super love#WOW that was a rant in the tags. ok. we're normal now. i just have Thots
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jewpacabruhs · 1 year
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????? new ep was lowkey sexist. they pulled a huge double standard with how they treated meghan, calling her stupid/dumb, not even treating her as a person but more an accessory of the prince…and then the prince got a redemption arc. come on like that was pretty nasty no…and this is coming from someone who loves kyle focused eps. first ep of the season wasnt too bad tho. lets hope for more of that
[wrote this reply up right after i got this but posting 2 weeks later cuz i was meaning to proof read and post but i got busy)
i get ur perspective but honestly ive never thought to view south park thru a sexism lense or to try to condemn them for it. its satire of female and male celebrities is equally scathing, the men are depicted as similarly vapid and irritating. i don't think sp's history of mocking women is particularly targeted and nasty. as i said in my other post (which you sent me an additional anon about so i kno u read it), sp is about exaggerating things, not always accurately, to make a point. and sometimes that means portraying capable and normal women as, what, mid-00s MTV-type party girls? and sure, that's one of the many features of sp that's technically 'problematic', and the reason so many ppl have 'sp fans dni' on their blogs - but we're here, aren't we, watching this bastard show and trying to juggle watching it critically and enjoying the stupidity?
i dunno, im neutral towards meghan & harry, if anything i respect them, but i very rarely have actual firm opinions on the shit matt & trey choose to make fun of, and this was a situation where it was just their usual shitting all over their celebs of choice who i personally have very little opinion on, and i thought that what they were trying to say in the episode was good. sp's only ever been abt making an individual or group represent something, and then using it all as a way to bitch about a genre of prevalent stupidity. that's what this ep did. was it at the expense of a woc? yeah, and usually that'd be immediately condemnable, but matt and trey have pretty firmly made it clear they're in the "we can find stupidity ANYWHERE" libertarian boat. i have enough respect for them as satire-oriented comedy writers to believe that they're sufficiently capable of lacking bias or prejudice in who they mock, for the most part at least, and that's why i can't condemn them for it specifically. though i know that's very subjective, as im aware that lots of people don't think satire is clever and it's just thinly veiled bigotry. but i'd assume the majority of sp fans who actually care about the satirical plots would be attuned to where matt & trey are coming from.
im disliking the way im seeing south park fans on tumblr perceive episodes lately. people forget that it's a satirical show, and it goes so thoroughly over their heads. but ig thats what happens when smth develops a tumblr-type fanbase, and in this case it's at the expense of critical readings of a sometimes rather insightful show. but i digress. i rlly did think the first ep was terrible. this one at least had smth to say.
(update, as of 3/3: the most recent ep came out the other day and it was a tad boring but very much, again, fairly well-done satire. i didnt even check how ppl reacted to it tho, im not rlly caring lately tbh)
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oh-no-boi · 9 months
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its sort of.. eh? seeing the post abt like how figuring out ur identity to all the micro identities is uh individualistic and we should focus on what we have in common and stuff.... and i mean i agree
but its so weird bc i struggled with it and tried to dissect it all so much bc i felt like i didnt fit in with the ace community lol like it literally felt so isolating feeling like im ace but not emotionally connecting with what a lot of people were saying
im rly happy there are a lot more micro identites that are under asexuality and aromatism now and i can see myself in them better
finding the aces who wrote/drew porn, who also were facinated by sex, was just so comforting. and like there many of us, kinky aces are known as a thing now. i didnt see that when in high school, i saw more abt how oh aces dont want sex, and aros dont want relationships, and actually its so progressive to not want these things that even if u want them, u should not want them as a way to rebel. maybe that was a single post and many didnt feel this way but this *was* a pretty popular blog or at least it felt like it! and it fucked me up a bit lol
the day i did see a post of someone mentioning the same thing of like "oh daydreaming sex between ur ocs is hot but thats bc ur not in the equation and thats the only way u enjoy sex" with a name for the identity.. lol there were plenty of shitty replies that just diminished it as "lol no one cares abt ur sex fantasies, like we all have those, its not a sexuality/indentity" misunderstanding the frustration of like what it feels like to be into that and then left confused by not being turned on by like porn and actual human beings and just in relation to urself
i dont go by that micro identity, i dont need it anymore but teen me did
so i guess i just have a lot of emotion and stuff abt micro identities and figuring those out and feeling like ur not alone
i do just say im queer or gay and ace/aro spec these days, and of course trans nonbiney and also just dont rly care that much
i very much agree that a lot of shit gets used as gatekeeping and also pitting ppl against each other.. but i rly cant help but feel like sometimes it feels dismissive of figuring out wtf is going on with urself even if thats prob, u kno, not the point at all
idk i think when ur identity is complex and u feel so weirdly out if the loop of the rest, it matters a lot for self discovery.. but i guess with a focus in just what we have in common.. like i guess a bunch of this shouldnt have mattered if the focus from the start was just "oh yeah im queer and thats chill" but also like how do u seperate it from a journey of discovery of urself? even something like are u bi or just gay, does it matter? maybe not but it probably will to u.
u kno, its also funny but i feel like— well first i chilled out of sexuality bc i got all explorational and ?? with gender so mumy focus shifted— but a huge part of what helped me sort of figure out shit further is... masturbation haha and like please understand, im still a somewhat sex repulsed ace who has also been a bit sex/smut obsessed. it used to not make much sense in my mind, now maybe its still just as complicated but also eh simple enough. im still a kinky and smut obsessed little weirdo?, and im still sex repulsed and probably still wont end up having sex with anyone, i even look away from ppl kissing bc i find it gross, but heyyyy i also fucking love to jerk off 😏 and its all just been... thanks sex toys! bc the thing is, i still find it kinda gross, but also not as much now.. and also i cant do anything without sex toys bc i guess they give that distance my brain needs? but basically figuring this out and coming to be able to enjoy my body has also quieted the part of my brain that kept being curious abt sex and fully unsure if i could ever have it. im still not fully sure bc i feel like i can still change but its made me understand a lot more abt myself.
theres also still a lot im ?? abt.. my mind abt top surgery swings so wildly from yes to no, even like thoughts of micro dosing t is like yes i'd like to but also i like what i look like as well?? and as a friend kinda laughed at me, im most nervous abt facial hair, something that is not that hrd to deal with but im just ,,shaving 😱 lik3 buddy i havnt even shaved anything in years! (tho i used to hate armpit hair.. tho mainly i guess society 🙄 and now im.. ok with it but also yeah u prob wont catch me wearing a not tshirt in the summer lol)
..this post has gone nowhere
uh im gonna post bc i spend too long typing even tho i got a headache (tho hey the ice pack has helped! thanks google) but we can pretend i never did lol
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cvastals · 3 years
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look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B
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* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )
background.
middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D
they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved
the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh
gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament
(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder
(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad
(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw)  wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping
the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving
(internalized homophobia tw)  things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly
he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!
details.
is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic
u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG
if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times
n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes
awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl
didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things
can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms
loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after
going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field
doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar
connections.
ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms
ppl he went to school w? :D
some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………
ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part
a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)
some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG
a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects
awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral
current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH
Anything u Desire
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gcnnerpaxton · 4 years
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bri again making a terrible decision. do i need a fourth? no.......... bt here we are anyway. after this i promise im done fr a while bt :/ i lov this lil bitch so here we are........ give this a like if u wld b Down to Clown w him aka plot!
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「axel auriant & cismale」⇾ paxton , gunner, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a leo and 22 years old. he is studying film, living off campus and can be loyal, resilient, anxious & indifferent. when i see him i am reminded of curling up in bed for days in a hello kitty comfort shirt, the click of a camera shutter & hand-me-down’s two sizes too big.
pinterest is HERE.
TW’S FOR ABUSE, VIOLENCE, MISSING CHILD, KIDNAPPING, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, AND INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA BELOW!
stats.
name: gunner brick paxton.
age: twenty-two.
gender identity: cis-male.
pronouns: he/him.
sexuality: demisexual.
birthday: july 31, 1998.
star sign: leo.
myers-briggs: istj.
year of study: senior.
major: film.
occupation: librarian.
place of birth: laramie, wyoming.
religion: catholic (non-practicing).
background.
neen jst brought in gunner’s older brother so fr those who read elias’ bio u kno tht gunner is the middle paxton child w eli being the oldest n then they have wyatt who is the youngest!!
they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved
the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh
gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament
DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TW - he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder - DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TW END
VIOLENCE/ABUSE TW - their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad - VIOLENCE/ABUSE TW END
MISSING CHILD/KIDNAPPING TW - wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there
ANXIETY/DEPRESSION TW - high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping - MISSING CHILD/KIDNAPPING/ANXIETY/DEPRESSION TW END
the two years that gunner was at home after elias finally left for school were basically torture and as soon as he could, he was falling his brother’s footsteps in getting out of wyoming to go to school at radcliffe
INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA TW -  things are far better now that they’re out of their home situation, but gunner’s going through some more things personally now; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly - INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA TW END
he’s also ‘dealing’ rn which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight between him and eli all things considering, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!
details.
is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic
u can catch him n eli strutting around campus w matching epipen holders tht he got them fr eli’s 16th bday JKSDNGKLHSDGLK
if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times
n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes
awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like if it weren’t fr eli he wld probably have one (1) friend he jst cnt converse w ppl
didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 2 minutes, just extremely weird and specific things
can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms
loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after
update about his summer away: ended up heading to nyc fr a film internship n actually had a rly good time??? fr once?? jst had a rly nice summer fling after being a bit heartbroken throughout the school year it was jst a rly necessary n fulfilling summer fr him king of getting wht he finally deserves
this also led him to b like . oh maybe i’m Not broken bc he doesn’t realize........... demisexuality is a thing n wld get rly awkward during hookups a lot if hes jst not 100% comfortable w the person so now he thinks hes like a one man machine who actually has some Self Esteem n thinks he can have Sexual Relations all day every day (he cannot)
connections.
ppl who buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms KJSHDGKLHSDLG
other film majors :-)
some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………
a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht gunner actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)
ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat
some enemies tbh much like elias he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG
a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects
awkward past hook ups maybe some current ones teehee
anything Ur Heart Desires
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emypony · 6 years
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ARES HEADCANONS WITH THE BOYS, AFTER THE BREAK
Some ARES (more like ot2/ot3/ot4 headcanons with Haizaki, Asuto, Nosaka and Nishikage) headcanons for @ozrockbitway (if i remember right dfljkghfdg it’s been long ago since we talked about it, I think??) and @producktions @someatsu @blueberry-pastel @suzunofuusuke @kirinoisbestboy @sinfonylanglader @therealruney @calmystorm-saltycandy (hope u dont mind the tag ^^’’) @shawn-and-aiden-frost-9 i guess if u wanted to read as well @mimirk63 ITS NOT YUUICHI but ya kno ;w;’’
i literally dont even know who else would care about these (mostly joke) headcanons so iM SOWWY if i like, dont tag some ppl ;;
also im sorry that these are like all over the place tho jfldghkfk
ANYWAY with that out of the way
1. so I was discussing about Nishikage baking and. i got it. Nishikage works @ Tasty part time. He makes ambitious creations. Nosaka enjoys watching the behind the scenes. (Asuto will eat anything he makes)
2. Asuto starts hanging around Nosaka and Nishikage thought this would be bad and that Yuuma would stop hanging out with him but is thankfully proven wrong as Asuto pretty much always invites both of them to hang out with him. Nishikage starts to 'adopt' Asuto as Nosaka's friend and feels the need to PROTECC him as well. they also become great friends and this eases Nishikage because Nosaka finally has someone to spend time with that can somewhat get him out of his shell. Related to #1, Asuto will bother Nishikage and ask him if he's cooked something new yet. Nishi is afraid to cook more things at first but is prompted by Asuto because THAT BOY will literally eat anything, bad or good.
3. Nosaka actually likes dry jokes but no one knows since nobody really likes dry jokes and doesn't make them. Asuto ends up with a book EXACTLY about dry jokes and he finds them interesting and funny but not as much as Nosaka, so when he uses one of those jokes it makes Yuuma laugh and it takes everyone by surprise (especially Nishikage)
4. Nosaka snorts when he laughs.
5. I see Asuto and Nosaka becoming friends before Asuto and Haizaki (even if they're acquaintances) Haizaki comes on later along.
6. Asuto is claustrophobic and that's how the ot3 friendship starts. He, Haizaki and Nosaka somehow end up stranded in somewhat of a locker and he starts freaking out. Despite the issues between Nosaka and Haizaki they don't like seeing the cheerful Asuto being scared like that. Asuto asks them to hold his hand and they reluctantly did that even if they didn't like being next to each other. After that incident Asuto was a bit more open around them and uses his 'persuasive' powers to get them to hang out with him.
7. Haizaki is the tallest, followed by Asuto and then Nosaka. Nosaka is a bit conscious about his height and even if Haizaki makes fun of him, Asuto reassures him and tells him its okay.
8. Nosaka would be really bad at portraying his feelings even if it's something simple or complicated so he makes really weird comparisons and nobody understands except Nishikage even if sometimes even he's wondering what's going on in his mind.
9. I originally planned Nosaka to be a Vegan but I don't wanna do that he's just been taught to always eat healthy because there was no other alternative. he sometimes sees Asuto stuffing his face with unhealthy (fast food/other) stuff and it confuses him because he's still like perfect and fit and he doesn't get it. With time Asuto makes him try things he wouldn't normally eat by himself and even if he doesn't eat that regularly, he'll sometimes accept Asuto's invitation to get things he hasn't tried before. He's really big on trying foreign food but maybe once every few months.
This is a lot of Nosaka fdkjghd im sorry i love him a lot AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT
10. One day Asuto's friends find him, Nosaka and Haizaki playing cards in his room (i think they'd keep the friendship hidden for a while don't ask me why). Norika would take a liking to Nosaka but not romantic. She ends up doing his nails or make up as a thing. He looks dashing with black polish. Haizaki has none of that and even if Nosaka is really :|  and stoic he'll pretty much go with anything.
11. this was like, a multiple headcanon thingy with @suzunofuusuke and @producktions alike
Nosaka is a heavy sleeper and Nishikage is the opposite. #Nosaka and Nishikage share a bed, fight me. Due to his past Nosaka has nightmares and moves a lot in his sleep so frequently he'll fall from the bed which'll make Nishi wake up and freak tf out because dfljkgf where's Yuuma?? and hes just sleeping on the floor
12. Nishi and Nosaka sometimes both stare at Asuto and how pure he is dfljghfdg like "damn Asuto's a nice friend"
i'll uh, try some Haizaki too since I've basically neglected him holy shit
13. Things get better with Akane and after Asuto basically has him talk things out with Nosaka, he becomes a lot less stressed and angry and finally starts to open up to Asuto, at least. He's a bit awkward at interacting outside the soccer field so it takes a bit of time to be comfortable around both of them, but Asuto always made it easy. He's still a bit intimidated by Nishikage though, even if he has no ill intentions towards Haizaki and they've even successfully hang out together alongisde the other two a few times. They share a love for spicy food.
14. HAIZAKI NEEDS GLASSES and he doesnt like wearing them but he's really cute in them. Asuto would always tell him that he looks cute in them and he wouldn't like it. Men aren't cute. Haizaki isn't cute!! >;C Nosaka would just quietly tell him that they look good on him nonetheless and he'd blush and say 'thanks' and thats their interaction okay #stolen from @someatsu
15. Haizaki has his ears pierced but nobody knows cuz of his long hair and that it's not allowed @ school. He likes to try out diff earrings in his spare time. Asuto catches him one day and never lets him hear the end of it but when they sometimes go walking around shop districts he'd loudly proclaim "Those would look real good on you, Haizaki!" when he'd see any cute earrings and such. poor Hai chan will try to hide from view at that. Nosaka chuckles. also stolen from @soatsuko w permission dw
16. starring guest hiro again with headcanons he shoved into my arms: Haizaki doesn't use social media because he doesn't see the point of it. Had Twitter once but got bored. likes baggy hoodies. probably has a collection of berets (this one's on @araiguma-koon)
17. @arbegagordon gave me an idea so Haizaki and Akane used to play Toontown so now that Akane isn't playing anymore, Haizaki still logs in but gets sad. Through some kind of unconventional means Asuto starts playing Toontown with him because he wants to make him happy and even if Hai chan won't admit it he's pretty happy that Asuto does this for him Nishihkage plays cooking mama Nosaka tries a lot of games but he gets bored fast because he thinks he's not good at them. He REALLY likes the pet games though. EDIT: I FORGOT. NOSAKA PLAYS ALICIA ONLINE AND NONE OF Y’ALL CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE. he likes collecting pets and clothes. he would defs cosplay his AO character omg
18. this was a collaboration of my ideas and @producktions and her analysis post basically she said that no one usually cheers for Nosaka SOOOOOOO, after Asuto finds that out he goes to all his matches and screams like fucking crazy for him and even if Nosaka won't show it he'll smile sometimes to himself because Asuto does this for him and expects nothing in return and just wants to see him smile and it’s OOF so pure
19. Asuto has both Nosaka and Haizaki merch. (you know, for support! Asuto is big on making his friends feel loved) They're both embarrassed by it and whatever they say they can't make him NOT wear it in public, as he's hanging out with THEM.
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wannasoftimagine · 7 years
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imagine park woojin as your classmate
project partners to dating partners :’)
(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))
okay so ure a fan of wanna one
who isnt tbh
and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)
u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u
anyways
its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online
like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea
and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance
as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous
also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him
little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute
;))
okay but anyways
u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn
u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times
(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)
but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned
bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned
of course, it’s a partner project
it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random
unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners
so u have no idea who ure paired up with
ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember
everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh
and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad
u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library
even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on
so. all excuses aside u fall asleep
prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk
but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep
ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side
u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird
u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy
so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat
as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before
in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”
u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol
somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice
then ure like WAIT A SECOND
ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real
so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him
eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free
u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS
ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment
anyways
ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up
only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing
u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back
u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u
its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate
and u KNOW its not a date
u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???
but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework
u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out
anyways skip to the next afternoon
u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks
and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest
hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally
as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date
u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud
he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas
he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen
its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck
anyways
neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart
ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field
it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again
ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy
u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions
u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business
still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project
of course, all things must come to an end
so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives
and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again
bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore
after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class
so as ure freaking out over this
he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it
and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?
obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling
when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in
u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two
woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye
u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh
u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out
but anyways
u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done
a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila
its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim
u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed
but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too
so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards
it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day
it still feels like a dream tbh
but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can
most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person
this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life
but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself
as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed
it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call
but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED
and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something
eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good
and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about
he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it
but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”
even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting
u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses
finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???
and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”
and. WHAT.
he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly
“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”
and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???
n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious
but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”
n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy
honestly u both just make each other super happy
when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other
both physically and with ur words
he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same
esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys
u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most
honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch
still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world
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cloudlesbian · 4 years
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18
10 worst anime I've watched- I'm suprised I was able to find enough and recover my old old crunchyroll account for this😂 and I'm sorry this is so long I'm not a consice person and got carried away complaining abt these shows
1. Sword art online definitely. Horrible. U all kno why this is #1
2. Attack on titan, I watched the first season and thought it was interesting, got freaked out by the ppl who were into it, realized it was nazi apologist/propaganda and was like yeah I'm out of here
3. Cuticle detective inaba. I watched this in maybe late middle school? I thought it was funny but it was. So so wierd. And I think the mc has a fetish for hair and tht is just out in the open?? Incredibly bizarre show tht I remember almost none of. But it probably is funny actually. I'm too scared to try and rewatch it.
4.black butler. I've heard tht some of it was actually good/not as bad as ppl make it out to b but I had a bad experience and was around a lot of freaks when I watched it who made beastiality jokes about a certain episode and shipped the kid with that demon. So I did NOT have fun with it and it was probably too edgy for me to enjoy anyways bc I don't usually like mystery/drama genres. I stopped watching around episode 15 I think
5.henneko the hentai prince and the stony cat. I didnt kno what hentai meant at all and the synopsis tricked me into thinking there was a cool magical cat related plot and I was waiting for the fantasy story and cats to show up and it was just a creepy straight boy leering at girls every damn episode😭and I didnt kno about any shows that worked like tht and had no plot and watched a whole 5 episodes! 😭😭😭😭😭😭
6.outbreak company, I think it was trying to b a knockoff of sword art online and that's..of course its gonna suck oh god I'm reading the description and it's worse than I even remembered
7.kuroko's basketball. This. show. drove. me. INSANE. People were SOOOOO into it and I was like I guess I've gotta see what the hype is about expecting a homoerotic sports anime probably. What I got was out nowhere these fucking xmen playing basketball. It was never explained!!! I watched 20 gofdamn episodes and I was like oh the glowing whooshing behind the ball must b exaggeration to show how fast it is! NO BITCH. and then this motherfucker shows up who's like "I've got eagle vision I can see the whole court from an aerial view" and I was like what the fuck is going on!!!!!!!!!! I cant stand this shit! And it wasnt getting interesting or homoerotic enough for me and I was like I dont care about sports or this bs I'm out of here!!!
8.la storia della arcana famiglia, I was watching magi and this was recommended as a similar?? Show and i watched it and it was interesting to me!! But these motherfucking annoying ass boys would not leave this girl alone!!! Freaks who she barely knows calling her bambi and touching all over her and getting in her space. I could not stand it. DISGOASTEN.
9.anohana the flower we saw that day, I knew it was popular/ppl liked it so I tried to watch and was rlly bored and was like I cant get invested in what this stupid straight guy wants, bye!
10.orenchi no furo jijo, some old friends were like it's funny and it was just like. Boring and "so random!" Kind of funny? And it did not have a plot I think
Honorary mention for free! It was queerbaiting for sure and wierd as hell and the fandom for it was oh my god nasty, yes it does deserve hate. my friends made me watch it and as a lesbian I had very little motivation to. But there was a plot! and interesting character dynamics tht I got invested in. I rlly liked the plot in season 2 I think? Where haru is all like "I don't wanna pursue swimmig professionally if that'll make me lose my passion for it and why do I have to anyways?" And could not word that to his friends and felt pretty misunderstood and frustrated. I thought tht was a very compelling and satisfying plot point even if it took a while to get explained. So I can respect tht free! Had some good plot and actually was rlly driven by characters themselves and how friendships have major effects on ppl positive and negative and can b very complex. Thts at least how I remember it🤷‍♀️
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Ehi, I've noticed that you are posting critical role stuff. I always wanted to follow this series but I don't have so much time and I don't know where to start ('cos, you know, 3 hours at episode). Any suggestion?
/MAKES A 50 METERS SLIDE ON MY KNEES TOWARDS YOU
/HUGS YOUR LEGS DRAMATICALLY
HELLO
i dont actually have many suggestions besides my boundless emotions which should at the very least be a testament that maybe albeit fatiguing bc of the length, it IS a worthy experience, BUT ye i kno, i was lucky to have lots of home time when i started it so i watched it pretty fast, sacrificing my sleep for the cause and legitly taking every chance to watch it at all activity breaks when i was at home (tea, cooking, having lunch, dinner, goinG TO THE TOILET, and when i happened to have more 4G on my phone bc of free promotions, on the long subway rides anywhere lolol). the thing tho is:- no one watches it so its not smth u should worry about in terms of getting spoilers or anything lol. its a long journey but one you can easily take at your own time. the eps have lots of slow paced moments where u can drop out; sometimes they finish on a cliffhangers but virtually u could just watch the start of the following one until the cliffhanger is solved and then stop. the eps themselves are very sparse, all or nothing could happen, they dont have a strong continuum, they’re not tv series, written and developed to have mandatory crescendos and themes, fast paces or whatever. so you can rlly drop an ep whenever u need without rlly feeling like u left smth unfinished.also, everyone watches it differently, which is to say:- if you’re used to podcasts, critrole is close to being one. im not too used to podcasts so i geeenerally chose times when i could at least have an eye on the screen but the option of just listening is a good one and helps with finding time for it. on that note, some month ago they started turning the eps into actual podcast format so u can go check that out on geek & sundry site??- if you know you’ll enjoy the act itself of just watching a bunch of players for 3h (like me) then you’re gonna take more time watching it ofc, but other ppl like speeding it up a bit by making use of timestamps that you will basically Always find in the comments section, so that if you reach a part you’re not enjoying bc its too slow or boring or whatever, you can skip to closest timestamp of relevance. at first i used to not skip anything, and even at the end i still didnt usually but after a while that you watch, u kinda develop a sense for knowing when you can skip bit by bit, especially during gratuitous not-too-relevant combats, and specific turns (i s2g towards the end vax and percy’s fighting turns lasted like FIVE MINUtes) in terms of where to start, definitely start from ep1 LOL. the story IS a story, and it’s structured in story arcs, so you can’t really skip to ep50 randomly or smth. sure there’s probably summaries around, and matt always makes extensive 2mins summaries at the start of each ep buT… EH.
this is my 2 cents. @tamireli , whom i convinced to watch it and also doesnt have much time, is only at ep 28 or smth after some months but she’s not relenTING EITHER AND DESPITE THE SLOW PACE SHE’S LIKING IT ( ITHINK. PLS TAMIO GIVE UR INPUT ), SO I THINK U SHOULD AT LEAST GIVE IT A TRY?BE STRONG
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5hineesback · 7 years
Text
feel korea fanacc 2017 (exid biased)
this is going to be a very detailed fanacc of the full day, including the bad events which took place before the concert
first off let me say that kpop fans are honestly such lovely people. i came across a few bad eggs during the day but overall everyone was amazing. i arrived earlier than my friend and i made friends so quickly with the people who were in front of me in the queue, and i ended up spending the whole concert with them
secondly let me say that the organisation of this concert was an absolute joke, specifically the queueing. it was terrible, the worst organisation i’ve seen in a long time. they originally had one queue for everything, then created a ‘concert’ queue and made people move, then when the daytime event queue had died down we got moved back to where we originally were - except there was no guidance. everyone just ran for it. people at the front ended up at the back and people who’d just arrived got to the front. there was also a severe problem of people pushing in at the front - there was no barrier to block it and when we complained the security didn’t even try to do anything about it. 
i got to the venue at around 12:15, joined the only queue there was, was then moved to the ‘concert’ queue at around 12:45, was very near the front and managed to stay in basically the same place when we got moved back to our original line. then waited for about 6 hours, filled with events such as, as ive mentioned, people pushing in at the front and pretending they were there the whole time, the barrier being widened to such a degree at the front that there was no order at all
then came the worse part. we were lining up around the back of the building, and they wanted to move us to the front doors. so they stood back, and told us to go. everyone ran, again. i got pushed into walls and an open door, girls were falling over or hurting themselves on the barriers as everyone tried to get through. we had been asking them throughout the day how they were planning to get us in - we suggested sending us in groups of 10 or 20, or just making sure we all got to the doors one at a time. instead there was hundreds of people running to the doors, filling up the street because there was no barrier there to meet us. again, i managed to keep my place, pretty much, but a lot of people lost theirs, including girls at the front who had been there since 6am to queue. then despite the street being full of fans, they then told us to get in single file. which was fucking stupid because it wasnt possible. not unless they moved everyone forward enough, past the doors, to make enough room to move everyone against the wall, or move people backwards from the back of the queue, which literally went around the whole block. we eventually got in by them just giving up and letting us in one at a time with as little pushing as possible
but anyway, thats enough of that, although i will be complaining officially online lmao
okay the actual concert. by some miracle, i just got to the barrier, i got the last space. but myself and a couple of girls to my left were in the worst place to be at the barrier - in front of us was a camera man officially recording for the tv screen above, so during the concert idols would often be blocked by the camera which will be shown in my exid fancams lmao. but hey, i was at the barrier, i can’t complain. the distance from the barrier to the stage was about 10 feet i think, it was pretty large tbh so im rly glad i got to be there. we also got given water by very nice security thank u security
they were showing mvs for about an hour while we waited. if you were there, the first scream @ jeonghwa’s appearance in any mv was always me jsyk dklfjhdskj
when the concert started, there was a taekwondo performance which was a m a z i n g, they were breaking wood with their feet and at one point i was scared the broken wood would hit me lmao
after that, hani came on mc’ing, along with two other guys who i don’t know. the moment she appeared i Died. she was wearing such a pretty white dress, shes so angelic and cute and beautiful. she came out to mc after every performance, except it was just the guys when exid was about to perform. she spoke about going to see the disadvantaged kids yesterday and one of the guys was like “hanis not just beautiful, she has a beautiful heart” and hani said “the most beautiful is everyone here!” jdksa shes honestly a Dream
knk was first to perform, then snuper, then exid, then highlight. i’m not gonna pretend i was really there to see anyone but exid, because i wasn’t. but i did hearts to all the idols and i really enjoyed all their performances. knk sang knock first which is the only song i like by them so to hear it was so great. they’re such good dancers and they’re all very pretty
after knk, hani and the guys introduced a “special performance because london has gone through some hardships recently”. it was hyerin singing “you raise me up” and it was so beautiful i would have cried if i weren’t so focused on filming haha
then it was snuper’s turn to perform. i only know platonic love, so i enjoyed that, but i was pretty clueless about the rest of the songs. i still liked it tho. during one of their songs they brought a fan on stage to sing to her and also threw roses to the crowd. according to my friend who was a bit further back one of the members aimed one at her but a girl in front of her caught it lol. one of the members was so funny idk his name but fans threw a signed uk flag at the stage and he put it on like a cape and he came over to our section loads. hes my bias now but who is he
after that (i think??), knk came back on to perform a cover of an ed sheeran song which i don’t know the name of. everyone sang with them and it was rly Nice
then my girls!!! arrived and i screamed So Loud it was too much. they’re all so beautiful, but u kno i love my girl jeonghwa and omg... pictures and videos dont do her justice at all shes honestly Ethereal i went into shock and i almost teared up. i saw a girl so beautiful i started crying???
they started with hot pink and i could kinda feel how empty it was without solji but it was still amazing to see the four of them. then they moved onto night rather than day, then ah yeah, then finally up and down. i was trying So Hard to get interaction, i made eye contact with jeonghwa a few times and every time i was givin her hearts... she just kinda glanced over me tho.... its ok i still love u
the girl next to me got So much interaction, from l.e especially. she had a homemade exid fan sign and l.e seemed to love it haha. i probably should have made something too
exid’s performance seemed to go so quickly, i filmed most of their songs and some of their talk. i haven’t even watched the videos yet i’m gonna die
after exid, there was a performance with snuper and a group of girl dancers who i think won a competition during the day? they did dance covers of a few bts songs
then highlight came on and performed two of their new songs, before two of their old ones. i rly enjoyed the old ones, the new ones... they were okay but i liked being reminded of their old image as beast. i think this was when one of them motioned for us to clap, i was one of the first to start so he looked at me was he was walking our way and nodded at me which was cool lol. i think it was highlight anyway.... and i think it was that time... honestly the boy groups... kinda mushed together for me i could even begin to tell you which member it was. i made eye contact with a few guys of the various groups so i cant rly remember specifically
during highlights performance this annoying girl came up behind me and was literally pushing against me, trying to move my hair, touching my arms and back before eventually asking if i could move over. i did, but i later found out that the girl had literally somehow managed to get to the barrier from the back. she was rude as hell. also there was fireworks during the performance which scared the crap out of me i was like that compilation vid of chanyeol
after highlight, there was an encore where all the groups came out and threw balls and balloons. knk was in front of our section and exid were next to them more towards the middle. i feel bad for saying it but i ... rly wanted exid in front of me lmao. i did hearts towards them and here is where i might have got interaction from hani but im not sure???? she looked in my direction as i was looking at her and making a heart with my hands and she grinned and did a thumbs up but im not sure it was at me it might have been someone near me. i like to think it was at me tho. people around me got a lot of interaction with different idols but i didnt?? thats going back to diy stuff tho, ppl around me had created signs and written messages on paper and stuff so i guess thats where that came from. i rly would have done something too for exid but i didnt think id be that close, never mind at the barrier so i didn’t see much point
there was also confetti flying from a machine right in front of me and i accidentally dropped my exid fan sign i was given in the queue over the barrier so i caught confetti in my bag to take home instead lol. the annoying girl was still there and still annoying, she threw something at knk she’d made and one of the members got it and she started screaming and crying and yelling i love u which i wouldnt mind but... after the way she was so rude to me (and as i found out later, other ppl) nah why does she deserve that lmao. she also ended up getting a ball since security came over with two that had dropped and she said the yellow was hers... it wasnt she even asked me who signed it lmao
overall it was a really good concert and i cant wait to watch the videos back. it had ups and downs but despite having to miss london pride for it i dont regret going. i got to meet some great people and ofc i got to see my Special Girls in the flesh... they said they’d come back soon i hope so. ive drunk so much water tonight and im about to go and drink more also i can’t walk
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anti-yandere-dev · 7 years
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hey so i 'redid' the yansim characters but not all of them i wrote 2 much so
[I put the submission under the cut since it was pretty lengthy]
hey whats up guys i had 2 put this in a submission as well as literally typed this in a note bc im on data & i dont wanna use a lot of it
basically my au takes place in a college instead. seems more fitting bc theyre actual adults & just feels Right.
theres more characters than there is in the original but thats mainly because i took the ‘genderbent versions’ & made them useful (i pretty much made them in2 siblings 4 some characters lol) anyways!! lets break down the characters
also lads, lassies, non-gender specific term for those bc i dont know the term, im givin yall a warning 4 self harm, suicide, nsfw implications/rape, possible drug abuse, and the rest of the Basic Criteria
Akihiko (Previously known as Senpai): He’s gay & trans. His name means 'bright prince’ which really has no significance, I just thought it was pretty……………and everyone views him as a prince bc he’s rly nice and kind and forgiving and actually has a personality other than being a cardboard box. Eventually gets into a commited relationship w/ 'Yandere-kun’ who I really need to give a name. Akihiko has a twin brother, I took that idea from the possibility of a younger sister, and admittingly(admittedly???) enough, Koumi’s 'genderbent’ Hanako. I’ll get into detail on his twin later, but they have a pretty good relationship. Akihiko (it was at this point i actually looked up a name 4 him & went back 2 edit stuff bc i h8 senpai lol) is still childhood friends w/ 'Osana’, who I renamed Ami(i4got her last name i had 4 her). However, neither of them have romantic feelings for one another, considering Akihiko is only attracted to males, and Ami is only attracted to females(theyre gay.). Akihiko actually meets Ayano when she is about to commit suicide, when he saves her. Ami is there with him, so they both save her. Aside from slight backstory related stuff, Akihiko is actually rather popular. People like him for an actual personality this time!! He’s very kind and puts others needs before his, which is rather dangerous. Ami has lectured him on this many times. Akihiko’s also known for having really good grades and being very helpful when it comes to tutoring others. He meets Ichirou (yandere-kun i literally just looked up anothr name his name means first son bc hes the first son btw lolol) eventually when Ayano invites him over. (sry this is everywhere btw i should have put this in2 a specific order) ngl i feel like this is enough on akihiko like if u wanna kno more abt him hmu on my main christopherpierre-official
Ami (Previously known as Osana): god shes so fucking gay like as soon as she met ayano she fuckign DIED bc she loves her so much???she thinks ayano is like. the prettiest fuckgin girl ever. holy fuckshit shes GAY AND WILL DEFEND AYANO WOTH HER LIFE!!!! Anyways. Ami comes from a dangerously abusive household, and as a result, took a lot of self defense classes when she ran away at age 13. (what year is tht in japan pls help) She still retains some of her 'tsundere’ personality, but she’s more thoughtful of others feelings. She met Ayano as she was about to throw herself into highly active traffic, but she and Akihiko were able to stop her before she could hurt herself. As soon as Ami and Akihiko were able to calm Ayano down, they called an ambulance/contacted the hospital, considering she had a lot of bruises and cuts. They would later find out Ayano’s father was extremely abusive, and the mother was unable to do anything because she was away on a trip for work. A lot of people know Ami for how assertive she can be, misinterpreting her mostly good intentions as aggressive. Ami is mostly known for her knowledge on medical related things, but she still has a slightly bad reputation because of how rude she comes off as. again thts enougb on ami if u wanna kno more just ask me!!
Ayano: still keeps the name bc I Like It?? its pretty fuck u. Ayano has none of her yandere personality. She’s fuckign AFRAID of everything bc of her SHIT ASS ABUSIVE DAD!! Her mom’s still kinda yandere tho, but she didnt kidnal the dad or anything. Their marriage is founded off of Pure And Honest Love…….until the mom kills the dad 4 being a homphobic shit bitch lol. Ayano actually has a lot of self harm scars. She barely gets to see her older brother, Ichirou, who is two years older than her, because he’s away or some shit idk he gets abused p badly too tho. Ayano is rly reserved & quiet & im debating on giving her bpd but its Iffy idk. she has ptsd & kinda sorta got raped by some Fucker in middle school (ichirou took care of the fucker (: hes dead.) so she has a lot of trauma going on here!! I kinda sorta projected some emotional trauma of mine onto Ayano;;; Obviously when Ami found out she was fuxking enraged. Ayano can’t afford to move out of her house just yet, and her brother can’t necessarily take her in, nor does he have her contact info. He kinda sorta left thr country for a bit?? Not sure what country I want this to take place in yet. However, Ichirou is fairly powerless against his father as well, so he took a lot of the beatings, (even tho this boy is fucking Strong as Hell like GOD FUCKIN DAMN!!! he can lift his own mom w/o an issue!! but he kinda left like right away as soon as he could & couldnt take ayano i mean she was still in high school & he Obviously has guilt over not taking her w/ him) but not as many as Ayano, seeing as to how she was the fathers least favourite. Her mother never married the father, and she didn’t want the children to inherit his last name either. …..anyways this is enough i thimk
Ichirou (Previously Yandere-kun): Gay. Loves Akihiko. Retains the yandere personality, but it’s not as bad??? He left the [insert surname household here fuck aishi its not even a Real japanese surname] household as soon as possible, and had immediate regrets. Loves his darling little sister with all of his heart, but it’s literally not incestuous. It’s just good sibling love………also he likes 2 embarass ayano a lot lol. As soon as he met Akihiko, who I never mentioned to have pastel pink hair, he fell in love like, right away? Even though I personally don’t believe in love at first sight (that’s a lie I fell in love w/ most of my anime bf’s @ first sight i can shut the Fuck Off) Ichirou was just??immediately enchanted by this beautiful prince…….he’s just that gay. He’s 2 whole singular years older than Ayano. actually not 2 whole years but w/e hes a scorpio tho. Ichirou has definitely been in relationships w/ other men b4 but they didn’t work out too well. Some rando called him 'daddy’ once and wanted to fucking Die he has shit experiences with his dad & hates the daddy kink so much. He also has ptsd. Doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions at all so he just bottles them up and lets them out all at once and it’s a mess. Also has self harm scars, and some scars from his father trying to Literally Kill Him. This boy……strong as fuck. Can lift his own mom. Has held Ami, Ayano, and Akihiko all at once. Somehow. He’s just a really good older brother? But he’s also really sneaky. While he is jealous of the time Ami & Ayano spend with Akihiko (the A squad lol i just realized their names all start w/ the letter a) he does respect that they’re really close friends, and nothing more. He’s also aware of the unsaid feelings between Ayano and Ami (vry perceptive) so he doesn’t care lol. However, he has little to no tolerance of anyone else being around him. He has a slight distaste for Akihiko’s twin, Kazuhiko (the name means harmonious prince i got a Theme goin on here) but he disregards the feelings. wow talk abt an Info Dump okay next 1
Kazuhiko (Previously the 'genderbent’ little sister/brother, made him into Akihiko’s twin brother): He’s actually a yandere too?? But not 4 Akihiko. He’s vry supportive of Akihiko tho. When he & his twin were in middle school, he gave his uniform to his brother bc he still got the sailor uniform, so he took it. There were some troubles but hey I don’t know how this shit is dealt w/ so please. Just accept this brother supporting his gay trans twin……pls….. He enjoys Ayano’s company. She reminds him of his gf/d8m8, the 'genderbent’ version of “���“"senpai”“”“ (theyre cousins but nobody knows yet so thats why) so he introduces them and they hit it off pretty well! Kazuhiko get Jealous™ and nearly exposes his yandere personality but his Lovely Beautiful Nonbinary Girlfriend reassures him tht they only love him. He loves Yuuka (their full name is yuuka minako) so much?? He would kill 4 them. Literally. He almost has. & b4 i accidentally make a cishet character bc i Refuse 2 4 some???odd reason idk, kazuhiko is a Bisexual Demiboy who fell in love w/ a nonbinary who is okay w/ feminine aligned things. Back on track, Kazuhiko is fairly popular w/ a lot of people for many reasons, and oh wow what a Fucking Cliche ppl r strongly sexually attracted to him!!coolio. he looks nothing like koumis fuckass potato lookin little brother btw. But a lot of people hate the fact that he’s in a Very Committed Relationship w/ Yuuka bc shes not that pretty damn!! But she is. She’s so fucking pretty. To him, at least. He basically fucking worships Yuuka. this is A Lot next character lol
Yuuka (Previously 'Senpai-chan’ or w/e lol): Nonbinary who’s fine w/ she/her pronouns, but also uses they/them. Very shy, Ayano & Ichirou’s cousin. Has a younger sister, and two older siblings who are twins. The younger sister is the old concept for the original little sister, and the older siblings are nemesis-chan & 'nemesis-kun’. While Yuuka and their siblings have lived a fairly abusive life, they haven’t sustained as much 'damage’ as Ayano’s family. Yuuka & Ayano are related by their mothers. They are sisters, only a year and an undetermined amount of months apart. This means after Ryoba, Ayano’s mother, or Sakurako, Yuuka’s mother, moved away, they lost contact with one another, never bothering to talk again. Yuuka and Ayano get along exceptionally well, and Hanako (u remember the little sister well her name stays the same bc its meaning is just flower child. also her design changes.) often refers to Ayano as an elder sister. Yuuka’s relationship with her little sister is somewhat strained due to the three year age gap, but they still get along regardless. Their relationship is strained because Yuuka promises to spend more time with their younger sister, but there’s not much time due to an overwhelming amount of schoolwork, as well as their job taking up a lot of time, too. Regardless, Yuuka doesn’t forget to call their darling little sister as often as she can, checking up on her and how well she’s doing in school. next 1!!!! also i4got 2 talk abt their relationship w/ kazuhiko here bc i was rly focused on mentioning family stuff…..oops (also 4got 2 mention mental health stuff??but like. yuuka has adhd, depression, anxiety, u can just ask me if u wanna know more tbh)
Hanako: i kept the name bc it just literally means flower child & honestly shes such a flowery child??anyways. Hanako retains little to none of her annoying rip-off-nico personality. Instead, she has set up a calm, shy exterior as a defense mechanism due to the many years of neglect she received from her father. (me @ myself y r all the dad characters fuxking Dicks in this like??okay damn.) On top of that, growing up, her mother was never around, due to the fact that she was in the hospital to a terminal illness. Instead, she had to rely on Yuuka for attention, since the twins, Tomoko (sister) and Kiyoshi (brother) left before she graduated her first year in middle school. Hanako also has difficulties with her schoolwork because she, much like her sister, has ADHD. Due to this, she struggles to keep up with the class, and has a hard time paying attention to almost anything that doesn’t interest her enough. However, she has many supports, helping her as much as possible in many ways, which does make her feel better about herself. After her mother had made a full recovery and left the hospital in her current year, she has felt much better about herself, and her grades have definitely improved. Although her father did leave her a while back when she found out he was having an affair on her mom, she still managed fairly well on her own. i mean cmon its not like she liked her dad tht much lol he was a Big Fucking Asswipe hanako isnt as fleshed out as i wished her 2 b but shes not That signigicant to the main story??idk. like shes still in highschool & shes only 17 & this takes place in college so??i dunno. i mean if u got suggestions or smth..sure
Tomoko (Previously Nemesis-chan, made her one of the older siblings bc idk y not lol: There’s not much to say about her. She’s 28, which is only 11 years apart from Hanako. She was entirely capable of filling in the missing mother role for her and Yuuka, but she herself didn’t know what to do. On top of that, she was more focused on getting the best grades out of the entire class, and was much better at academics than her brother. Tomoko has a very cold exterior. She is hard to connect with, and pays little to no attention to anyone elses feelings than her own. This mainly stems from the fact that her father, who she doesn’t even consider a blood related relative, was too busy messing around with other women. buddy i dont know what else 2 write 4 tomoko like she just has severe apathy issues & just doesnt know how 2 connect w/ others. next character
Kiyoshi (Previously Koumi’s shit ass 'genderbend’ Nemesis-chan): Unlike Tomoko, he was able to fill in the father-like role for Yuuka and Hanako. Due to having to take on the role of the father, it put a large strain on his academics and work outside of school. He, at one point, almost had to drop out to take care of his younger siblings, but decided against it. He eventually decided to teach Yuuka how to do her own laundry and how to cook when she was only 9. Due to this, Yuuka was able to take care of herself and Hanako while Kiyoshi could work and pay their bills. Kiyoshi was only 23 when he left the household so he could go to college and get a degree, leaving Yuuka at age 15, and Hanako at age 12. he could b more fleshed out but im??i dunno. im Panicking okay do u think i can work on a character tht doesnt rly show up in the story a lot.
anyways im just putting all of These Guys in 1 this 4 now bc this is A Lot as it is. ill do more later also give me criticism on these pls
--
I really like what you’ve done with the characters (especially now that they have personalities and stories behind them, instead of just nothing). Also, the names you gave them were cute.
-Mod Sega
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gcnnerpaxton · 4 years
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ok this is bri w muse number two strikes a pose n trots off to Write
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『AXEL AURIANT ❙ CISMALE』 ⟿ looks like GUNNER PAXTON is here for HIS JUNIOR year as a FILM student. HE is 21 years old & known to be LOYAL, RESILIENT, ANXIOUS & COWARDLY. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ BRI. 22. EST. SHE/THEY.
pinterest is HERE.
stats.
name: gunner brick paxton.
age: twenty-one.
gender identity: cis-male.
pronouns: he/him.
sexuality: bicurious (in denial/closeted).
birthday: july 31, 1998.
star sign: leo.
myers-briggs: intj.
year of study: junior.
major: film.
occupation: librarian.
place of birth: laramie, wyoming.
religion: catholic (non-practicing).
background.
fr those who read elias’ bio u kno tht gunner is the middle paxton child w eli being his older brother n wyatt being the youngest!!
they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved
the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh
gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their day made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament
he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder
their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad
wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there
high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping
the two years that gunner was at home after elias finally left for school were basically torture and as soon as he could, he was falling his brother’s footsteps in getting out of wyoming to go to school at radcliffe
things are far better now that they’re out of their home situation, but gunner’s going through some more things personally now; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that mayhaps he’s not just attracted to women and just frankly refuses to touch on it rly its a whole ass mess
he’s also ‘dealing’ rn which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight between him and eli all things considering, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!
details.
is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic
u can catch him n eli strutting around campus w matching epipen holders tht he got them fr eli’s 16th bday JKSDNGKLHSDGLK
if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times
n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 5) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes
awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like if it weren’t fr eli he wld probably have one (1) friend he jst cnt converse w ppl
didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 2 minutes, just extremely weird and specific things
loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after
connections.
ppl who buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms KJSHDGKLHSDLG
other film majors :-)
some friends.......... hes awkward bt he means well............
a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht gunner probs acts like a dick towards to cover up Homosexual Feelings)
ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat
some enemies tbh much like elias he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG
a muse..... mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects
an awkward hook up i beg of u
anything Ur Heart Desires
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tayegi · 7 years
Note
I feel like all those misogyny anons are young girls or if not they shouldn't even blame everything on the OC????? Literally. All. Of. Them. Are. Doing . The. Same. Thing. It's a whole messy relationship. Don't blame one character when the others are doing the exact same shit!!!!
All the beautiful messages I received are under the cut ^^
But I just really REALLY wanted to thank everyone for sending me such wonderful asks. Right when I was about to lose faith in humanity, you guys came out of nowhere to restore my faith. I really REALLY appreciate it. I was srsly even considering deleting Equilibrium because I refuse to let this disgusting misogyny spread, but now I realize those misogynists are thankfully just the vocal minority. 
I really REALLY appreciate this, guys. You always know what to say to make me feel better when I’m at the cusp of giving up. I LOVE YOU
Anonymous said:BRUUHHHH shit just got real in equilibrium. Seeing the development of the story, I knew it was gonna come crashing down soon but damn. This story is so interesting and I really enjoy reading stories with very flawed characters. JK was really pissing me off like he's so damn controlling and it's amazing how people don't see equal fault in all three of them and point fingers at the girl???? Like wtf what story are y'all reading cause last time I checked they were all using each other lmao
Anonymous said:wtf??? how is oc manipulative and a bitch??? can't they that jk is the bitch here?? like he's so selfish and conniving and omg I'm just so angry after that update. not at you because damn girl you can write but like ahhh why wont he just let her touch jm like I just wanna Hug her tbh. I hope she finds the right man. u go girl!!Anonymous said:Omg I come back to this nonsense? I hope you don't let this affect you too much. I don't get why women are always blamed. If anything as I was reading I felt bad for the OC the most honestly. Shes insecure because she got bullied when she was younger and then this angel Jimin comes and he's nice to her and she gets attached. Jungkook takes advantage of the situation so it works out in his favor. For 6 months he was the only one who knew what was really going on.
Anonymous said:Wow I was so surprised to see that people were angry with the OC She is so pitiful and desperate Plus Jungkook's actions are so sick he knows she doesn't love him but he knows she won't leave him because of Jimin so even in this situation he is still using Jimin to manipulate the OC They are all so fucked up
Anonymous said:Really hope all the shitty misogyny doesn't put you off after how hard you've worked! please remember theres shitloads of us who really do appreciate your work and as much as people don't openly voice it, we're still all here in the background, internally voicing our opposition to the minority that obviously don't see the wealth in your work x so fuck them and do your shit because you want to! it's annoying that some aren't understanding it in the way they should but just know the rest of us dox
Anonymous said:I think the problem is not that the OC is women. The problem is that the readers are narrow-minded fans that blindly favor there idols.. U kno, when the bias also clearly did smth wrong but they only blame the other side... Tsk tsk. But the thing that I'm worried is that the story probably won't have an happy ending :c I know it's not ok but I want to OC has a new start with Jungkook (I am sorry Jimin!) or she would be sick of this relationship& too hurt& move out and be a roommate with Tae
Anonymous said:Hey, please don't regret the story cause of some of these mysogynistic idiots. I mean ofc if it makes you uncomfortable to write it then do whats best for you. But i love this story because of the complex nature of this messed up relationship, and your amazing writing. I love how you present selfishness in all three of them. The good and bad in them. You write in shades of grey instead of black and white and its truly amazing. Anyway i hope i didnt say something wrong i just love your work.
Anonymous said:Thank you for standing up in what you believe in. It's one thing for males to be misogynists (which is still HORRIBLY WRONG, fuck them) but for females to behave like one too? It's just disappointing. Us women get enough shit everyday as it is. We should be empowering each other instead of looking at each other as threats BLEEGH! Anyway I loved the latest chapter of equilibrium and pretty much everything you've written.... 🤗
aloneandlovingit said:I appreciate you so much for always calling out these misogynistic people for their shit. Whenever something goes wrong in a relationship it's always the woman who is blamed and the man is made to be a victim even if they're both in the wrong. The worst part is that these anons are probably young girls who were brought up to think this way and this just perpetuates the culture of women being against women and it needs to stop! Anyway I loved the new chapter as always and I love you 😘
Anonymous said:Why and how are people talking shit about the oc???? Wtf.. Equilibrium's so well thought and well structured, people in love do stupid shit, get over it. Jk is being fucking selfish and emotionally using them both, and if people wanna blame someone, blame the right guy. I really rope that the oc get out of this mess, cause girl u don't deserve all this bull shit. and fuck all this misogynist people +
Anonymous said:I'm so shook. I'm leaving this ask to let you know that the majority of the female population all over the world is still NOT on the mysogynous side! Girls, read carefully before you speak! Lu has written everything not only beautifully/intriguingly but also in a crystal clear manner (come on, you don't actually need to interpret things, make a list of who's done what and you'll see that each character is just as manipulative and opportunistic as the other)! Cheers Lu, this is a masterpiece.
Anonymous said:I can't believe people are saying the OC is a bitch?? what about jungkook who proposed this relationship for "fun" and had motives??? and jimin who only likes jungkook and shuts the OC out??? i've been wanting to rip jimin's throat out since he entered the fic
Anonymous said:I could be missing something, but I don't understand the outrage towards the OC when she is just desperate to hold on to the first person who treated her like a real person. That is why I think she is 'attached' to Jimin. The same goes for Jungkook being 'in love' with the OC since she is the first person to ask him a 'meaningful' question that wasn't superficial (coffee shop convo). My heart hurts for the OC because she has to fight so hard for Jimin's attention when she deserves better.
Anonymous said:I seriously can't see how these people are so blind. It was obvious that they were all using each other before and in the latest update Jungkook basically said he never cared about Jimin. How did they miss that? And Jimin rejected the OC until Jungkook proposed they all date. Wow. P.S. I had a feeling Jungkook would be the first one to break. Love your writing and don't let these people ruin Equilibrium for you.
Anonymous said:I almost feel bad for the anons who feel the need to antagonize the OC so much... But it actually fucking hurts. To think that every time that both men and women are in the wrong the woman is the one punished 110% of the time... Ugh I'm so sorry that this had to open our eyes to all the brainwashed idiots out there still perpetuating such hard-lined misogyny. But keep in mind that there are still lots of people who don't stand for this shit and never will, stay strong and love you!!!! 💖💖💖
Anonymous said:Equilibrium is one of my favs and it so upsetting to see people turn the story into something else because they are too blind to see their precious oppas do anything wrong.
Anonymous said:Are people serious? Its so obvious that jungkook and jimin are doing the exact same thing as the oc. Jungkook is only in the relationship for the oc. Jimin is only in it for jungkook. How can you blame the oc for being manipulative but not fault them
Anonymous said:but notice how no one is going "aw poor jimin jungkook tried to abandon him thank god the oc is caring and didn't run away with him" 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 ppl are unbelievable. I'm so sorry this is the reaction ch 10 is receiving lu. pls don't let it discourage you. use your voice and the fact that a lot of ppl read the fic to EDUCATE AND TEACH YOUNG WOMEN. stopping now won't accomplish anything. I think you have enough influence with your writing to get something across to these young women and help them
Anonymous said:I want to tell you that equilibrium is honestly so beautiful & your writing is really amazing. I've only recently discovered you but I am upset I didn't find you before! As for the main character & the boys: HELLO THEY ALL PLAYED EACH OTHER FOR THEIR OWN REASONS!!!! Like why is everyone mad at the OC when each character was in the relationship just to be with the one they liked? Anyways the last part with Jungkook & the OC in the hallway is so nicely written! I hope you have a nice day! 💙😄
Anonymous said:I can't believe the amount of ppl mad at the oc rn when jungkook was literally doing the same thing??? so was jimin???? they were ALL playing each other, dont ppl understand that?! that's the whole point of this fic, y/n is in love with jimin, jimin is in love with jungkook, jungkook is in love with y/n. It's all just one big love triangle and they're all lying to each other by being in this relationship. I'm sorry ppl aren't getting that, but pls don't let that discourage you from writing it :(
Anonymous said:*reads the asks saying rude things about the Equilibrium OC* :/ *sighs* Why are people only focusing on the OC??? Jungkook is just as bad, and really no one wants to be with everyone in that relationship. :/ The OC wants Jimin, Jimin wants Jungkook, Jungkook wants to OC. Putting all the blame on the OC is just stupid. :/ I'm sorry you're having to deal with those anons. I wasn't around for what you were saying about In Bloom, but I can see how similar stuff to this would put you off of it. :/
Anonymous said:reads other anon messages - sighs - guys... look below the surface before you immediately judge the narrator. JK doesn't deserve sympathy--he's using Jimin to get to Y/N, Jimin is using Y/N to get to JK, and Y/N is using JK to get to Jimin. No one's innocent of this. In addition, the way he just roped Y/N into giving him exclusivity wasn't exactly fair or unproblematic... So they're all guilty, and the drama's so gooooodddd
Anonymous said:Thank you for the update. I haven't read it yet but in really excited about it!!! I'm really sorry about all of these random rude misogynist ppl who just came out of the blue tho.
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voidwizerd-archive · 7 years
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[[ “What the hell is a Kankri?” Wiz Lalonde, prior to realizing a Mista k e
part one of Wiz/Kankri logs from yesterday and today ]]
valorousimperial Mm........ I don't understand.
wiz-texts um im sorry i think u have th wrong account who r u??? u seem confused bout somethin i hope u get in contact w th person ur tryin to reach they prolly got th answers ur lookin fr
valorousimperial I don't think anyone has the answers I'm looking for. They died with your memory of me. Enjoy that unmarked body.
wiz-texts wait. what??? im sorry i dont kno who u r also i havent posted *nothin* bout an unmarked body how th fuck do u kno bout that????
valorousimperial Well, up to last light, we WERE quadranted. I've seen you naked a few times.
wiz-texts okay..... that is bullshit, n u r confused. i may have bad memory but not *that* bad
valorousimperial Wiz Lalonde you cannot possibly have forgotten the stipulations of the deal you made.
valorousimperial ...I'm Kankri.
wiz-texts ...i forgot you i. how could i have im so sorry i dont understand whats happenin
valorousimperial Makes two of us.
wiz-texts im so sorry no that. that prolly dont mean shit. fuck.
valorousimperial ... Not really. No.
wiz-texts Lilac n Red are tellin me not to run away, n i wont, but this is your home im in, apparently
valorousimperial A couple of nights ago, it was your home, too.
wiz-texts i wont stay here if you dont want me to. after what i jus did... fuck, i wouldnt blame you one second for tellin me to leave
wiz-texts ...it still feels like it is
wiz-texts i, im sorry. ill keep my thoughts to myself do.... do you want me to go?
valorousimperial No I'm glad this is still your home
valorousimperial Everyone keeps telling me this will... Get better. I don't know how. But it won't happen if I make you leave.
wiz-texts theyre tellin me that too i dont see how
wiz-texts im so sorry. im so sorry for hurtin you. im so sorry for all of this i wish i could give you th answers and i wish i could make everythin better im sorry
valorousimperial It hurts
[[ Hours In The Future, But Not Many... ]]
valorousimperial Anyway, I thought you should know that those are my teeth.
wiz-texts *fuck* im im sorry i kept holdin it because it felt nice should i not..?????? im sorry
valorousimperial No it
valorousimperial Actually Really comforts me to hear that You did that before. When you were stressed.
wiz-texts i did...? it does feel nice. anchorin but what i did, i shouldnt......
valorousimperial It's fine.
wiz-texts doesnt seem that way fuck, i. am i supposed to talk to you? not talk to you???? i dont know
wiz-texts i dont want to keep hurtin you more than i have...
valorousimperial I I don't know what's fine and not fine
valorousimperial I know I'm selfish and awful and if there's one scar left on you and I made it, if you keep holding it because it makes you feel better, if you don't recoil from it just for existing, then Then they can't have taken everything about me from you.
wiz-texts i..... i think i like it, actually
valorousimperial ??
wiz-texts i like how it looks, n feels. it's got these sorta... ridges?? th dents from th teeth are fun to trace my fingers over is..... is that okay for me to say??? is *any* of this okay gosh i dunno....
valorousimperial Yes.
wiz-texts yes??
valorousimperial I think a lot of things aren't okay. But this is. This is This is them failing. This is them not taking us away from each other. This is good.
valorousimperial I guess that we have to meet one another again.
valorousimperial [[ oh shit it’s dat beautiful boi.jpg aka mun sent an actual picture but i’m being a dork ]] This is me, I'm a troll. Which you had probably figured out.
wiz-texts yea no offense but im in your palace, id be a little concerned if you werent a troll ha youre..... youre really pretty n i have a confession, ive already seen this picture
valorousimperial This is the whole picture!! And it's not tiny!! I like to think that I'm pretty, I'm glad you do, too.
wiz-texts because i went through all the tags and message history like..... five or six times already nothin came back. im sorry
valorousimperial ... Oh, I Didn't figure it would But I'm glad you tried.
wiz-texts i wanted to try. wanted to see if i could feel..... *somethin* like memory
valorousimperial I assume there's not even a sense of deja vu.
wiz-texts it feels different. ive forgotten a lot of things n those are all fuzzy, its like..... like my brain is swamped in a fog
wiz-texts this, though, it dont feel fuzzy it feels like its just been..... scooped right outta my brain. cant remember what isnt there anymore, right
valorousimperial Right I don't begrudge you that. I begrudge you WHY it's gone. But not that it is.
wiz-texts there is some kinda feelin but i dont know if thats because of my guilt or nah. great mystery right there.....
wiz-texts not deja vu. somethin else
valorousimperial ?
wiz-texts like..... shucks, i dunno how to word it
wiz-texts .....
wiz-texts heck
valorousimperial The best you can do works for me.
wiz-texts i. i dont know, i.... feel like maybe its out of line?? too soon???? im just... lookin at things and thinkin n searchin until things go blurry
valorousimperial It's never too soon for you to take comfort in things. You and I, We'll just Play it by ear, right? And maybe things can work again. Do you maybe want to play a questions game?
wiz-texts i aint.... exactly takin comfort in it i dont think???
valorousimperial ?
wiz-texts it. mm. th thing i keep feelin goin through th tags ......because im a stubborn fuck n starin at everythin for. i think this is my fourteenth time through th whole thing
wiz-texts it aint deja vu but its like......... somethin of me *does* know you???? not a memory but. somethin .........
valorousimperial Well This is the part where you intimately relearn my penchant for dirty jokes, I guess But I bet I can guess what part of you remembers me...
wiz-texts ....you actually got me to laugh there sounded more like this wheezin sorta thing but thats what it was
valorousimperial Pfft.
wiz-texts but no its like... ppl talk bout butterflies in their stomachs, when they like someone, right???? its like that i guess
valorousimperial !!!!
wiz-texts except its more in my chest n it feels like..... a knot??? a knot gettin pulled tighter n tighter n then i get overwhelmed n i cry but i dont. know if thats good or bad it feels good AND bad if that makes any sense i dunno....... i dunno
valorousimperial Less !!!! Butt still at least !
wiz-texts why????
valorousimperial I just I want you to feel things about me.
wiz-texts i do too i want to feel *all* th things bout you, i want to feel everythin i did before n like add a whole bunch more on top to. to make up for this if you want me to if you dont thats... thats okay. rly its your decision
valorousimperial I don't know
valorousimperial I'm
wiz-texts .....obviously i already made mine. ha....
valorousimperial I'm really fucked up about this.
wiz-texts i know. im sorry i shouldnt have said that
valorousimperial ...yes. You did make your decision. But you had to have had a reason. Because all this... Getting rid of the hated scars, and leaving mine behind The fluttering and the tightness in you when you look at who we were together
wiz-texts im blurtin out everythin that comes into my head, ill....... ill stop. i shouldnt be doin this to you. i shouldnt its gotta be hurtin you n i dont want that
valorousimperial WANTING to have what we did again You clearly don't hate me, or my memory. So you You had to have had a reason.
wiz-texts ..... yea but i... i cant begin to understand it. i remember how much i hated th scars but...... it doesnt make sense. ive been tryin all night n it doesnt make sense
valorousimperial ?
valorousimperial All night? Like, all of all night? Did you get a nap? Did you focus on something else?
wiz-texts not...... really......
valorousimperial !! Are you very tired?
wiz-texts dunno? dunno ???????? um
valorousimperial You used to get really very exhausted Easily.
wiz-texts i have been picked up by a judgin troll lady
valorousimperial ?????
wiz-texts Lilac keeps. voodooin ppl in here i kinda barricaded th door n hid away for a little so i could think
valorousimperial He's a good clown.
wiz-texts um. it seems that was a while ago. breakfast time????? what time is it now i dont think im exhausted but its hard to tell so. oh well
valorousimperial You haven't eaten AT ALL? Oh, Wiz, no No, don't do that.
wiz-texts i forgot. didnt feel hungry or much of anything else tbh scold Keeune too he's been awake since his shift last light wtf
valorousimperial Keeune is attached to you and doing much what I would if I found out you were mysteriously sick.
wiz-texts im not? sick?????
valorousimperial In a way.
wiz-texts ....oh
wiz-texts um
wiz-texts you should go to sleep. i wouldnt wanna keep you when your moirail is waitin
valorousimperial No, I'm okay.
wiz-texts mm......
valorousimperial Let's play the questions game. What's your favorite color?
valorousimperial Oh, I didn't see his post
wiz-texts ha. yea thats what i meant
valorousimperial He's so drowsy. He'll fall asleep any minute.
wiz-texts u should go to him though!!
valorousimperial I'm with him.
wiz-texts then like.... go to sleep???
wiz-texts [[ wiz, internally: give attention to your real quad..... ]]
valorousimperial What’s your favorite color?
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spaceslouie · 7 years
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1. I just recently following your blog. And I find that we have same opinion for the most part, or from your tags anyway. This by no means that you’d agree with me but can I share my opinion with you. Like I think that so many people have been too critical about his solo works. We really dont know anything. I feel like, Louis have been so appreciative about the opportunity he got, but it looks like we as fan cant even give him a chance. What if he make do with what he got. What if all this was..
2. the only thing on his hand. He said it himself, limited people to work with. Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it. Its reality. That doesnt mean Louis dont deserve it. And people tend to forget, what you find rewarding could
3. be different from others. We want the best for him, and thats just it.. Why does it needs to be by the other 1D guys standard. I’m really emotional talking about Louis. Like, I want to respect what he do. I dont know the struggle he faced. This is the guy who hates their merch, their early music. I feel like the fandom so quick to talk but rarely listen. I dont claimed to know him, but I feel that Hes grateful for this opportunity. And I take my cue from him for the life HE live. thankyou :)
wow i . . got an ask! sorry it took me a while to answer this babe (depending on when u sent it) i dont come on this blog alot, i kinda just made a tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations and to have a place to talk about louis lol
anyways i think we do have pretty similar feelings about the way things are going - mostly mine are just summed up by ‘idk what to think but i love louis and his music’ lol 
To be real tho, i’ve been a 1D fan since i was 12, in 2011, and i was a larrie from like 2012 to pretty much a few months ago (not that im an ‘anti’ now or anything, i just dont kno what to think). For most of my time as a 1D fan (and especially a larrie) the culture w/ us has been, for better or worse, to hyper-analyze and doubt (for lack of better words) everything we’re given and told. Tbh, since i changed my perspective a few months ago (mostly bc of solo!harry), ive pretty much just been constantly reevaluating everything ive known for the past 5/6 years and i really just have pretty much NO idea what to think, whatsoever. 
When it comes to solo!louis, ive just been trying to take it as it comes. key word is trying, bc 5/6 years of having a rock-solid idea of the “”truth”” (our ideas about the boys, management, their relationships, etc) is alot to overcome when u try to be objective. 
When u say that ppl have been too critical of louis and his stuff, im not really sure which ppl u mean or if u just mean in general - ive definitely seen some ppl who seem to be critical just for the sake of it, or bc they actually dont like louis, which, ya, thats definitely too critical. But for some of the ppl being critical, it seems like theyre coming from the same place i was before i changed my perspective - if i hadnt been so put-off by solo!harry, i probly would still be just as dedicated to the fandom “”truth”” and i would be critical of solo!louis like i was/we were of everything else. 
Basically, at this point, i think its just habit for alot of ppl to be critical and cynical. Or, even more, its generally more comfortable (especially when weve been telling ourselves for 5+ years that we know the “truth”) to be critical (in an all-knowing way like when ppl say “those stunts are so transparent” or something) than to admit that theres alot we dont kno. Or to admit that louis hasnt had the opportunities we thought he would have/we think he deserves, and theres not really anything to do about it.
Are they right to be critical? I honestly totally dont kno. But basically im done being critical just bc other ppl are - if something strikes me as wrong and worth being critical of, right off the bat, then ill criticize it. But if everything seems ok to me and i have no reservations and i see someone else complaining and making a big deal about it, i guess thats how i decide when someone is being too critical. Thats when it seems to me like theyre being critical just for the sake of it or bc thats what theyre used to. I think its important in our culture (1D fan/louie culture), at least for me in the place im in now, to just trust ur own instinct instead of looking to others to see if things are good or not.
At first i was a little confused by ur ask(s) bc it seems a little contradictory - u talk about how louis didnt get the best opportunities, and then u say ppl are being too critical. But i think i understand (maybe im projecting tho, bc this is how i feel about it). I think what i (and u, if im understanding ur ask rite) am feeling is that ppl want to place blame - we all want the best for louis, and we’re upset that it doesnt seem that he got it. We all love and appreciate louis, so it can be hard to see how other ppl wouldnt and how he wouldnt get all the opportunities we think he deserves. So we go off on his team, simon cowell, his record label, the other boys, etc., and we criticize them and everything louis puts out bc its through them/connected to them. 
But it really all comes down to the fact that regardless of what we think louis deserves, we all know that what he gets probly wont match up to that. Youre rite, he literally said that he didnt get that many opportunities, and we have to accept that. No matter how much we love and admire him, we have to realize that for various reasons the rest of the world doesnt (at least not yet). He wasnt the most famous member of 1D, or the one pushed as the most talented, and the fact that he has a unique voice makes him kindof an acquired taste. 
We have to realize that he is, like u said, doing the best w what hes got. We dont have the power to give him more, so from my perspective im just enjoying what we get and supporting it in every way i possibly can. Bc thats what being a fan is about - enjoying what u get, and supporting it so u continue to get it. We can wish he had more opportunities available, and even ask for what we want from him in polite and lighthearted ways - like tweeting him about his album, or nominating him for awards (like teen choice and stuff), or posting/tweeting about how we wish we had a video/photoshoot/etc as long as its nice and not demanding. But ya basically we are not in a position to give him opportunities so our only job (if we want it, which, being a louie, i do) is to support what he puts out. 
You said: “Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it.” Basically, i totally agree w this and i think its totally ok to just enjoy what we get from louis w/o constantly worrying about how were getting it/what we ‘should’ be getting.
I am frustrated, and always have been, that louis doesnt get what the other boys do, but thats just the way it is. We have to accept that there isnt always someone to blame - for various reasons, louis has had less opportunities than the other boys, and theres nothing we can do about it. I would even go as far to say its not necesarily an injustice - like u said, he isnt the other boys, so we cant expect him to have the same situation as them. All we can do is support him and his music as much as we can/want to. 
anyway im SO sorry for turning this ask into a literal essay, i guess i had a lot to say and honestly im not sure how much of it is coherent or even on topic, it took me like an actual hour to write this all out and when i reread it… it didnt make as much sense as it did in my head lol. anyway i do think we hav some similar feelings and stuff and i really apreciate hearing ur thoughts! I hope we both get to enjoy bty (im so fuckin excited!!! from the teasers hes shared already its gonna be SO GOOD!!!) and i hope more good things happen for louis! tysm for sharing ur thoughts w me! 💙 
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