#like how everyone knew he was the Coon

[strawberriedmeadows]

first few refs for a paranormal au I've been thinking about... :3

#cartman tries to hide his identity as the conspiracy blogger #but everyone knows he's the one behind it #like how everyone knew he was the Coon #lmao #south park #south park au #butters stotch #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #south park butters #south park stan #south park kyle #south park kenny #south park cartman #south park fanart #strawberry draws

[chrisbitchtree]

When Steve was young and he pictured his future, the image his mind conjured was of a big, stately home in the suburbs of Chicago, with a beautiful wife who always had dinner on the table and kept a perfectly clean home, and six kids, three boys and three girls, who would be sweet and kind and loving, always up for a game of catch or a trip to the park with their father.

He didn’t picture this life, with a boyfriend who came home smelling of engine grease, both of them having forgot to take out anything for dinner, no kids, just a nasty old Maine coon named Sally that they adopted because they were sucked in by the humane society employee telling them she’d been repeatedly passed over by families looking for a younger, less wild cat, and a newly purchased little fixer upper with peeling paint and rotting floorboards on the outskirts of Hawkins. As Joyce had said, it made her home look like a palace.

Even the real estate agent had tried to talk them out of it. The house had been on the market for years, sitting unoccupied and unattended, left to rot away, rendering it almost unsalvageable. She’d begged them to reconsider, promising that she could find something better within their meager budget.

Steve had refused, even when Billy told him that maybe the real estate agent was right, maybe this wasn’t the house for them. The closest Steve had come to giving in had been when his foot had went through the floor, but he’d picked himself up, dusted himself off, and persisted, and the house had become theirs.

Every weekend was a new project, whether it be completely ripping out the floors and starting from scratch, taking advantage of Steve’s discount from his job at the lumber yard, re-caulking the unfortunately pink tub and sink in the bathroom, or painting the kitchen a bright, sunshine yellow. Claudia Henderson had found an old set of sky blue dishes and a little white table and chair set at a yard sale, and they completed the colour of the walls perfectly.

The took frequent trips to the home repair section at the Hawkins public library and consulted Hopper so often that he joked about putting in a second phone line just for their calls. With every brushstroke, refinished piece of gently used furniture, and hammered nail, the house got closer to being a home.

The finishing touch was a fire pit in the backyard. B+S was carved into the wet cement with a stick, and with that, they were done. They were home.

At their housewarming party, everyone asked Steve how he knew that the house was worth saving. How was he able to look past the rough edges and crumbling bits, and see the potential? He told everyone that it was just intuition, but the truth was, Steve had an eye for these things.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He’d once known a boy who was rough around the edges, someone that had been given up on by those around him, deemed a lost cause. But given love and care and time, that boy had risen to his full potential, and much like this old house, that boy was now Steve’s home.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #harringrove ficlet #chrisbitchtree writes

[vikkirosko]

Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Kenny, Wendy and Cartman (in their super hero "forms") with a female s/o that when they try and "save" her she is just like Meg/Megana from Hercules.

(she doesn't need a knight in shining armor 'cause she is already her own hero)

Headcanons No need for a hero

❤ Eric Cartman x fem!Reader 🍪

You and Cartman were together, even though some of your friends didn't understand how this was even possible. But when he became Coon, he always pretended that you were just a girl who got into trouble. He wanted to arrange a real romantic story where a superhero saves a girl and then they start dating, but you didn't really support his idea

Every time he saved you, you told him with a grin that you didn't need a hero and that you were quite capable of coping with everything on your own. Every time he was outraged because of this, but you were not going to change your position, continuing to argue that you do not need a knight in shining armor

Sometimes Cartman asked you if you had accidentally met the same hero that everyone is talking about. He expected that you were just embarrassed to show your feelings in front of the hero. However, you knew perfectly well that he was the Coon, so to tease him, you said that several times you met some annoying hero, but he did not arouse your interest

You understood that Eric wanted to be a superhero, but you really didn't need a hero. You didn't want to depend on others, but looking at Cartman's displeased expression, you thought that nothing bad would happen if you decided to play along with him a little

🧡 Kenny McCormick x fem!Reader 🐀

Kenny was usually cheerful and sociable with others and especially towards you. You've been dating for a long time and he loved spending time with you. But when night came, he became a Mysterion. He always took it seriously and, unlike his friends, did not perceive it as a game and fought crime. But sometimes he had to protect you. You liked to walk around the city late at night and sometimes you got into unpleasant situations

Every time he saved you even from a very real danger, you refused his help. You claimed that you didn't need help and that you could be your own hero. Every time you tried to cope on your own and refused his help. He helped you anyway, despite your dissatisfaction. Sometimes you told him at school that some superhero was forcing his help on you, which made Kenny understand that you didn't know who was hiding under the mask

Every time he saved you, Kenny felt outraged. He was genuinely worried about you and didn't want you to get into trouble. He felt relieved when he saved you and held you in his arms, even though you were indignant about it and struggled. He didn't want you to get hurt. He cherished you and sincerely wanted you to stay safe

Even though Kenny knew that you were quite capable of taking care of yourself on your own, he was still ready to protect you. He loved you and cared about you, even though he didn't tell you that he was a Mysterion. He doubted that it would change your attitude towards him, but he wanted to tell you about this secret when he was ready for it. He knew that you would understand the reason for this, even though you would remain true to your opinion that you don't need a hero

🖕 Craig Tucker x fem!Reader 🚀

Every time Craig took on the guise of a superhero, he tried to behave appropriately, even though it was just a game. And part of that game was saving you. You and Craig have been dating for some time and usually there were no disagreements between you, but every time he became a superhero, you had reasons for quarrels and the main reason was that you didn't need a hero

Every time Craig saved you, he imagined that it would be like he was Superman and saved Lois Lane, but in reality it was completely different. You didn't want to be a girl in trouble and always tried to cope on your own. You directly told him that you didn't need to be rescued and that you were able to cope with the problems yourself

You were able to separate your relationship when he was just Craig and when he became a superhero. You didn't usually swear. You didn't take offense at him for all sorts of little things, but when he became a superhero, you treated him as if he was a person you didn't know very well. When he asked you about it, you told him with a serious face that you were not going to trust a stranger because he was not Craig but some kind of superhero

Craig understood that part of your behavior was also part of the game, so he didn't take offense at you. He considered all this part of the game. This only made the game more interesting. Maybe someday you will still let him be your hero, though not now

☕ Tweek Tweak x fem!Reader ☕

Every time Tweek started playing a superhero, he started getting nervous again. One of the reasons for this was you. You and Tweek have been dating for some time and there were no problems in your relationship, but when he took on the role of a superhero, he tried to protect you even from fake threats, but you were against it, claiming that you didn't need a hero

You always tried to solve your problems on your own, so when he saved you, you always said that you could handle everything on your own. Your words did not carry aggression towards him, you did not want to offend him or upset him, but you were not going to change your mind even despite your warm feelings for him

Tweek tried to talk to you on this topic several times, but you remained adamant. You didn't want to become a girl in trouble. You could have become a hero yourself, saved yourself and even your boyfriend. Tweek understood that he could not save you by force, but his concern for you did not subside

Tweek understood that he could not impose his help on you, but he was glad that you did not change your attitude towards him in everyday life. He sincerely loved you and hoped that you would continue to reciprocate his feelings

🌮 Clyde Donovan x fem!Reader💧

Clyde loved being a superhero. He always tried to look as cool as possible and especially in front of you. Despite the fact that you were together, he still tried to always look good in your eyes. That's why when he took on the role of a superhero, he hurried to save you in the first place, but your reaction was completely different from what he expected

You didn't want to be saved. You didn't want to become a girl in trouble who was seemingly in almost all comics and superhero movies, which you told Clyde. You've always tried to deal with your problems by yourself and you didn't need a hero to solve your problems

At first, Clyde kept trying to save you. You weren't mad at him about it, but you kept reminding him that you were able to save yourself. Clyde understood that, but he really wanted to be your hero. He hesitated to tell you about it, fearing that you would start thinking worse of him, but you guessed everything perfectly well yourself

You weren't going to change your attitude towards Clyde just because he wanted you to see him as a hero. You loved him regardless of whether he was a hero or not. He was always the Clyde you fell in love with and there wasn't much that could change that

📚 Wendy Testaburger x fem!Reader 📱

You knew perfectly well that Wendy also decided to take part in the superhero game, because she told you about it herself. You supported her idea and helped her make a costume. Wendy took the role of a superhero pretty seriously, which is why when she saw that you were in trouble, she hurried to help you, even though she knew that you wouldn't be happy about it

You always said you could handle problems on your own, so when she saved you, you told her you didn't need a hero. She respected your wish and promised not to interfere without a good reason. Sometimes you helped her with her superhero role, looking for the right information for her. Even though you didn't know how to fight like her, but it didn't bother you

Sometimes Wendy thought to suggest that you also try yourself as a superhero and become partners with her. She was sure that since you got along well in ordinary life, then you could work together as superheroes, but she suspected that she would not be able to concentrate. She was often worried about you, especially when she saw that you had problems and she didn't want her feelings for you to interfere with her work as a superhero

You were always ready to support Wendy and were happy for her success. Even though sometimes you reminded her that you didn't need a superhero, you still loved her and were ready to even close your eyes to the fact that she still saved you sometimes

#south park #south park x reader #south park headcanons #Eric Cartman #Eric Cartman x Reader #Kenny McCormick #Kenny McCormick x Reader #Craig Tucker #Craig Tucker x Reader #Tweek Tweak #Tweek Tweak x Reader #Clyde Donovan #Clyde Donovan x Reader #Wendy Testaburger #Wendy Testaburger x Reader

[parkkrys]

Hey, if you are still taking prompts, how about where Aemond changes boyfriends too quickly and everyone is worried, since all of his boyfriends seem like good people but none sticks.

Luke who never got the courage to admit his feelings just watches miserably as he brings one guy after another at every family event. Now, interestingly, one guy gets drunk and tells some member of the family there is no use hoping for more with Aemond because he is in love with some guy who he has known since they were children but they cannot be. Stuff happens and eventually Luke and Aemond end up together. Happy end please.

Always happily taking prompts my friend! This really grew nto a monster and I tried my best not to let it go too far out of control haha. Hopefully this is alright and sorry for any grammar mistakes!

I have also posted this on A03 which you can find here

-------------------------------------------------------

Luke was miserable, and has been for a long time now as he dreads every family dinner that involved everyone getting together playing catch up. Somehow, against all odds, no one has been murdered yet. Luke is still surprised it hasn’t happened yet considering. 

But like every year for the past five years he expects something to chance but nothing does. Ageon still drinks, Daemon still makes comments to piss Otto off, Alicent and his mother are either best friends or enemies depending on how the greeting goes. Jace and Cregan are always the love couple that everyone coons over because when are they going to get married? It’s been six years now. 

Aemond brings a new boyfriend every year. 

Every year Luke feels the pain deeply because all of them are wonderful guys and Luke hated to admit it, but he got along with all of them even though he knew they wouldn’t stick around. He couldn't remember a lot of the names as much as he did like the guys, but after saying hi to five of them, he wasn’t sure he could bother saying hi to the sixth one. 

And he was right. The sixth one was around here somewhere, he had already forgotten the guy's name, but he was sure he would hear it again somehow. 

“You know, if I could get a hundred dollars for how many guys Aemond brings to these family reunions, I would be six hundred dollars richer,” Aegon drawled and Luke could only roll his eyes. 

“Aren’t you already drunk?” 

Aegon only scoffed as he brought the beer he was holding up to his lips, “Of course I am, but it doesn’t matter. Because I am right.” 

“You don’t even work,” Luke couldn’t help but to say and Aegon could only wave him off before he was walking away.

Every interaction Luke has ever had with Aegon only led Luke questioning his own sanity each and every single time. How the hell were they related he shall never know, he blames it all on Alicent. It had to come from her because the rest of them are somewhat sane. 

He only says somewhat because Daemon was known to be never sane when it comes to protecting his family. The man he calls his step father had a trigger that had him switching from loving husband and trying his best as a father to a murder war machine who doesn’t spare any mercy. 

Luke still couldn’t tell anyone if he ever had a good father son bond with him. Simply because he always felt like Daemon couldn’t care less about him, Jace and Joffrey and only tolerated them because he was in love with their mother. Jace believes it's the opposite and Daemon adores them all. Joffrey just thinks Daemon is cool and has no other opinion about it. 

But that was enough thinking about Daemon and how he felt about that topic. He can think about that at another time, which mostly meant later tonight as he stared at his ceiling, sleep escaping him once again. 

Thankfully, he was saved when Rhaena walked towards him, a smile on her face as she ignored how her grandfather and Daemon were bickering with one another. 

“You look overwhelmed.” 

Luke only groaned as he rolled his eyes, “Why does our family have to be so big? And so dysfunctional?” 

She only huffed in amusement as she stood beside him, “Because that is just how we are.” 

There was a time where everyone expected them to be together, didn’t exactly work when Lucerys came out as a gay man and Rhaena fell in love with another who was not present. Everytime someone were to ask, she would only shrug and say she didn’t want them to scare her partner away. Luke was the only one who knew that she was worried about how her grandparents would take it if they knew her partner was a woman. 

Which, valid since Rhaenys had high expectations from her granddaughter. 

“Be my saving grace and tell me what his face name is?” Luke asked and Rhaena only huffed as she giggled. 

“You really need to know this better, he may actually stick around this time.” 

“Like the other five did?” Luke asked as he took a sip from the drink he had in his hand. It was non alcoholic because he is a good boy, plus he just hates the taste of alcohol really even if he is now nineteen. Old enough to want Aemond and hope Aemond may actually see him for a potential boyfriend. It shall never happen but he hoped anyway because apparently he likes the pain. 

“Jokes on you, apparently from Helena this is actually boyfriend number eleven.” 

Luke proceeded to choke on his drink, his lungs burning as he coughed harshly. Rhaena made a surprised sound as she quickly patted him on the back as Luke only heaved for breath, his lungs now officially on fire. 

“Eleven!?” He managed to choke out and Rhaena only nodded, “What the actual fuck?” 

How the hell did Aemond manage to have eleven boyfriends while Luke can’t even manage to get one? Probably because Luke was never going to settle on anyone but the man he scarred for life. There was something wrong with him. 

“Why so many?” 

Rhaena only shrugged as she gave him a look of pity. She knew of his massive crush on his own uncle that was very wrong but they were Targaryen's. It was expected of them at this point in the eyes of the public. 

“I don’t know, but Alicent is worried for him and Aegon thinks it’s the funniest thing ever. Helena knows the truth but won’t tell anyone is what I heard from Alicent telling our mother. It seems like everyone is puzzled about it.” 

Luke could only nod as he stayed quiet, deep in thought before he sighed and tried to once again, not think about it. 

“His name is Bryan by the way.” 

“What a boring name,” Was all Luke could say and Rhaena only gave him an even more sad look and that was enough of that as he excused himself and walked away. Maybe he should consider moving on or finding someone to help him move on. 

Once again, somehow nobody murdered anyone and Lucerys was once again surprised by this. And slightly disappointed, he had hoped there was going to be some entertainment by the end of the night but nothing really happened. Instead everyone mingled some more, all full with dinner as they all lazed around the fire pit. 

Luke couldn’t stomach the scene from the other side where Aemond and his boyfriend were cuddling. The man with the brown hair that kind of looked the same shade as his own but that doesn’t need to relate to him really, many people have the same shade of brown as him and he did have pretty blue eyes. Bryan is attractive at least. He could never handle jealousy well, it only made him feel sick instead of angry like it made everyone else feel. 

“What are you up to buddy?” 

Luke only jerked slightly before he looked up at Cregan who only gave him a small smile. The man was basically another older brother to him and he instantly always felt safe around him. Luke also suspected that Cregan knew about his feelings for Aemond but never spoke about it, which Luke was always grateful for. 

“Nothing really, just waiting for something entertaining to happen. I’m kinda bored.” 

Cregan laughed as he took the chair beside him before he glanced over at Aemond. He only sighed a bit before he looked over at Luke and gave him a grin. 

“I was hoping to actually ask for your help on something.” 

“Oh?” Luke hummed in curiosity as he sat up, interested in what the wolf had to say. They were alone, or as alone as they could get with several people gathered and distracted by their own conversations. 

“I was hoping to ask if you could help me with proposing to Jace. I don’t have any ideas and I was hoping you had some? And to ask for your blessing of course. I already asked your mom and Daemon but I know how important you are to Jace. You are his favourite person Luke.” 

“Yeah man, of course you have my blessing. You guys have been dating since forever. You’re basically my brother already.” 

Cregan could only beam and Lucerys couldn’t help but to smile back. Cregan’s smile has always been infectious, if the man was smiling it was most likely everyone else was too. 

“Do I need to be worried about you two scheming something?” 

Luke jumped, a small squeak past his lips while Jace only laughed loudly at him. 

“What the actual fuck dude! You can’t just sneak up on people like that!” 

“It was funny though,” Cregan chuckled and Luke only shot him a betrayed look. They were sharing a bonding moment and the damn wolf had to betray him right after. 

“Awful, the both of you.” 

Jace only laughed harder before he plopped himself right into Cregan’s lap. It was awfully gross how in love the two of them were, they were perfect for one another. Luke was not jealous. He was and it only made him feel more sick. 

“You love us,” Jace teased and Luke only smiled at that because his brother wasn’t wrong. It would take something huge and hurtful to get Luke to hate the two of them. Soon enough they were all laughing and at some point Baela and Rhaena joined them. Luke was so distracted he actually forgot about the jealousy of Aemond and his boyfriend until Bryan stumbled upon them. 

“You guys seem to be having a good time,” The man slurred and all of them stared at him. 

“Dude how drunk are you?” Jace asked and Bryan only grinned. 

“Blame Aegon for that, he challenged me to a drinking game.” 

“That’s a rookie mistake,” Cregan laughed and Bryan only smiled prettily at them. Luke kind of wanted to stab him. He could see how Jace narrowed his eyes at the man for smiling so sweetly at his boyfriend. 

“Yes, I think your father told me that afterwards.” 

Luke snickered, yeah that sounded like Daemon. He would let you walk into a mistake then laugh at you afterwards for being an idiot. 

“Well if you want, take a seat and join us for a bit. We are just talking really,” Baela offered and Bryan only beamed at them like he was a puppy before he happily got himself comfortable. 

“You know, I didn’t believe Aemond when he first told me that you bunch were wild. I thought he was just overreacting but god I was wrong. You lot are loud and so much fun.” 

And as if the universe wanted to prove Bryan right it was at that moment where Alicent squealed loudly. Luke glanced over to see his mother laughing loudly at her as she wiped tears from her eyes as Alicent continued to shriek about something while Daemon chuckled at the both of them. It was nice to see that they had decided to get along this time. 

“Too bad I won’t stick around long enough to get to know any of you,” Bryan sighed and everyone froze as they stared at him. Bryan actually seemed to be mourning, “As much as Aemond tries, he won’t keep anyone at this rate,” He continued to stammer as he sniffled and everyone glanced at one another, unsure of what to say.

“Bryan?” Jace said softly but Bryan only shook his head, drunk enough to have spilled his thoughts onto everyone. 

“He is in love with someone he can’t have apparently. A childhood friend or something? I don’t know but he is trying to replace this person he is in love with but it isn’t working, and I fear it never will.” 

“I don’t think-” Baela started but Bryan only shook his head once more. 

“I don’t even know why he brought me here, you know? Maybe give me a taste of something that I will never have? Aemond is cruel but so beautiful.” 

“Aemond is cruel,” Luke says and everyone turns to look at him, “But everyone is, and you saying all of this to his family is cruel as well. You are drunk, you should go.” 

Bryan only stared at him with tears in his eyes before he nodded slowly. It was pitiful to watch him struggle to stand up but eventually he stumbled away to find Aemond and Luke only felt anger as he looked away from everyone. He knew they were all staring at him and he was sure maybe they thought he was cruel for saying what he did. 

“Well shit, now what do we do?” Jace muttered and Luke finally looked at him. 

“Pretend that never happened.” 

“Luke-” 

“Pretend,” He said harshly before he took a breath and kept going but much more softer, “Pretend it didn’t happen. It is not our place to say anything to Aemond.” 

Eventually they all nodded and Lucerys could finally breathe for a moment even though his brain was stuck on the thought of who the hell is Aemond in love with. It was clear they all wanted to discuss it and weren’t sure if they were allowed too. All he knew was he didn’t want to be there when they did so he made some excuse and walked away from the group. 

Lucerys needed to think alone. 

(This is long so I inserted a keep reading here, hopefully you don't mind!)

It was three days after the family reunion and Luke was back at his mom’s place, curled up in his bed as he stared at the ceiling once again. His mind was still plagued with thoughts about who the hell this childhood friend was. All he had to work with was someone Aemond couldn’t have. Which wasn’t much to work with. 

Despite him telling the others to pretend Bryan didn’t spill his secrets out, by the end of the night everyone knew. Aemond even knew, they could all tell with how tense his uncle was by the end of the night, anger settled deep beneath his skin as Bryan only kept muttering under his breath. 

It wasn’t long until Aegon texted him saying Aemond and his now ex boyfriend had split up. 

He was not surprised. 

He was surprised when he woke up the next day with a text from Aemond himself. Thanking him for telling Bryan to go home and that had confirmed that Bryan did in fact remember everything he had said to them. He hopes Bryan regrets it. Regrets embarrassing Aemond like that and spilling his secrets. 

He had simply texted back and ever since then they keep in contact. It ranged from how their day was to silly stories to pictures of their cats. Luke adored it and maybe his hopes were up but this could be something here. A small part of him hoped maybe he was the one that Aemond couldn’t have even if his mind told him it possibly couldn’t be him. 

Why would Aemond be in love with the boy who took his eye when they were younger? 

It just wouldn’t make sense. But it seemed like Aemond was reaching out and if friendship was all it was going to be, well Lucerys could come to terms with that. No matter how much it would hurt. 

He was so busy day dreaming as he stared out the window of his room, he almost missed the vibration of his phone. He had almost missed the call but in his panic he managed to swipe to answer but he never got to see who exactly was calling him. Probably a scammer. 

“Hello this is Lucerys Velaryon speaking.” 

“Is that how you answer every phone call nephew?” 

“Aemond?” Luke asked in surprise, jerking a little bit before he steadied himself, leaning back against his pillows, “Didn’t expect you to call.” 

“Don’t have my phone contact saved?” Aemond asked amused and Luke only huffed. 

“I didn’t get to see who actually called me you jerk.” 

The sound of Aemond's deep laugh really shouldn’t have made his chest flutter as much as it should have at that moment. He decided that he loved the sound and wished he could hear more, maybe even be the cause of it more often. 

“That does sound like something you would do, doesn’t it?” Aemond said. 

Luke only grinned, “Oh hush you. Now, why did you call?” 

“What I can’t call my nephew now?” 

“You never called me before Uncle,” Luke was quick to answer and the silence was only brief but he knew that Aemond was trying to figure out what to say to that piece. 

“I want you to meet me if possible. I wanted to talk to you about something that isn’t over the phone.” 

Now that did catch his attention fully as he shifted slightly, “Okay where?” He asked without hesitation and he knew his Uncle was pleased with his curiosity. 

“I will pick you up in an hour, be ready. I don’t like to wait,” Was all Aemond told him before he hung up. 

Well, that’s interesting Lucerys thought to himself before he moved the phone away from his ear. He supposed he had to get ready now. And within an hour he was showered and dressed. He couldn’t remember what exactly he said to his mother but he knew he said some excuse before he was out the door and in his Uncle’s car. 

Aemond only gave him a brief nod, a smug smile on his lips before he was on the road. No matter how many times Luke asked where they were going, his Uncle wouldn’t give him an answer to his frustration. He could only hope that Aemond wasn’t taking him away to murder him and drop his dead body off somewhere. 

Turns out the place was Aemond’s fancy apartment. 

“Wait so you kidnapped me so you could take me to your place?” Lucerys asked and Aemond only shrugged as he opened his apartment door for Luke to go first. 

“It’s not like you know where I live, Lucerys.” 

God the way Aemond said his name was sinful. Now was not the time to think dirty thoughts Luke thought to himself. His Uncle would only tease him harshly about that if he ever were to find out how much Lucerys wanted him. 

Would probably feed his ego even more than it already has. 

Aemond was quick to have Luke sitting on the couch and it felt as if his Uncle was ready to confess every sin he had ever committed with the way Aemond sat on his own table, staring at him as if he was prized meat. Luke was tempted to call Aemond an animal, tease him for sitting on his own table but he held his tongue. His curiosity won over the urge to rile his Uncle up. 

Aemond was so pretty when frustrated and worked up. 

“Okay Aemond, you have me here. What did you want to talk about?” 

“You.” 

Luke only blinked in surprise before he tilted his head to the side, “Me?”

“Yes, you Lucerys.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you are the object of my desire,” Aemond confessed simply. 

Lucerys didn’t know what to say or even do as he stared at him in silence. Aemond seemed to have expected it as he kept going, as if he wasn’t giving Luke whiplash. 

“Bryan has spilled my secret and as much as it had angered me, he wasn’t wrong. And I know everyone is wondering who the hell it is I am in love with so I figured I would get it done and over with. That way if you were to reject me, I was hoping we would never speak of it again.” 

Lucerys only stared. But he did notice how scared Aemond actually was telling him all of this. He could tell that under all the carelessness he was trying to show, he was terrified of Luke rejecting him. Terrified of what Luke would say to him and it made him feel sad. 

Because after all of this time, Aemond probably thought that Luke would hold this over him and hurt him even more. More than he already has. Lucerys only felt terrible as he tried to hold his tears back. 

“Aemond-” 

“Why are you crying?” Aemond hissed and Luke wanted to curse at himself for being so damn sensitive. 

“I’m not crying because you are telling me this!” Luke yelled and Aemond only glared as if he didn’t believe him, “I am crying because you thought I would hurt you because of this.” 

That seemed to have taken Aemond by surprise as he only looked at him in bewilderment, as if he didn’t expect Luke to pick up on that fact. His Uncle would be even more surprised because Luke could read Aemond to some extent. Lucerys enjoyed watching Aemond and trying to figure him out but Aemond was so damn hard to read. 

“I know I have hurt you before,” That made Aemond narrow his eye at him and Luke wanted to burn in shame, “And I know you believe I could or I would hurt you once more. But I don't want to! I feel ashamed for hurting you so much Uncle and I know that doesn’t fix anything, that anything I do would never have you forgive me because I do not deserve that forgiveness.” 

“You’re right, it doesn’t fix anything Lucerys, but I have forgiven you for it.” 

“Well take that back then,” Luke begged and Aemond only widened his eye as he stared at him in silence but Luke wasn’t done, “And why would you love me? I took your damn eye! Don’t love me, you should hate me.” 

He probably would have kept going if Aemond didn’t grab his throat in his hand, his grip harsh as Lucerys briefly choked before his Uncle loosened his grip as he pulled him forward. The impact of his knees hitting the floor was harsh as he was dragged from the couch and Lucerys was quick to wrap his hands around Aemond’s wrist to ground himself. 

Aemond only brought his face closer to his so their noses brushed one another as he finally spoke. 

“And I did hate you, no, I despised you Lucerys. For so long I wanted to hurt you.” 

“Then what changed?” Luke gasped out and Aemond only chuckled darkly before he brought his other hand to pet his cheek. 

“I found that I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you. I don’t know when nephew, but my hatred towards you has changed to desire and no matter how much I tried to deny it, no matter how much I tried to find someone else you were there in the back of my mind. That was when I knew I would never be satisfied with anyone else. You have claimed me the day you claimed my eye.” 

Lucerys once again, found himself not knowing what to say and Aemond faltered a bit before he let go of his throat, pulling away and Lucerys only whined in distress briefly. Aemond stopped at the sound, staring at him once more and Luke had no idea what was happening. 

“Would you love me Uncle? Or would you ruin me?” Lucerys finally managed to ask and Aemond grinned. 

“I asked myself that for a long while, little one. I didn’t know the answer but I want to do both. I want to ruin you for anyone else and love you for I want you to be mine.” 

“I think you will be surprised to know how much I want to be yours, Aemond. I have wanted to be yours for a long time,” Lucerys confessed and Aemond only seemed to be relieved by the declaration. 

“Would you be mine no matter the consequence?” 

“Yes.” 

“Would you be mine without hesitation?” 

“Yes,” Luke breathed and Aemond fell onto his knees before him and gently reached out to cup his jaw, bringing him close. 

“Then be mine, Lucerys,” Aemond demanded and Luke reached out to grab onto his Uncle tightly. 

“I am yours, have been for a long time, Uncle.” 

Aemond only grinned at that and Lucerys allowed himself to be devoured, allowing himself to melt into the fire that was his Uncle as Aemond kissed him. As Aemond took what was his before he pulled back and Luke only whined once more as he forced his eyes to open to meet the gaze of Aemond. 

“I am yours as much as you are mine Lucerys. There is no going back, I will not allow anyone to have you.” 

Luke only nodded, “I don’t want anyone else, how many times must I say this?” 

“As many times as you can until I am satisfied little one.” 

“Then I will repeat it until you are satisfied.” 

“Good little one, good,” Aemond whispered before he claimed his mouth once more and Luke felt giddy at realizing that Aemond was his as much as he belonged to him. That he will no longer have to watch his love be with anyone other than him. He finally settled into the place he belonged. 

#lucemond #lucerys x aemond #lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #parkkrys writes #house of the dragon #modern setting

[lumidark166]

New Kid (Rewrite) Headcanons cause why not lol

This is my new kid in TSOT

IN TFBW, this is my new kid look and his character sheet Credit to @lolliepops-rox for this edit, thank you so much!!

This gonna be full-on rambling I'm sorry Eka's full name is Eka Widjaya Pratama but he always uses a short version cause the full one makes him look plain Indonesian lol

Eka in tsot, he somewhat freaks out because the town is crazy and weird, but he feels comfortable that now he finally made friends after so long his family moved town to town so much that he hasn't made friends He has selective mutism, which causes anxiety but after that, he feels more comfortable saying a few words to speak, but when he suddenly can't speak, he usually texts or uses cards to speak cause the kids and the adults probably can't understand what he said in sign language and Cartman will make fun of him.

speaking of Cartman, Eka never anyone his real name cause of Cartman, he is not afraid of Cartman, he just doesn't want his anxiety to make it more troublesome if Cartman spread that his name is shit like gossip and his progress to speak more will reduce to square one again His vocabulary is just 'dude' cause how much he spends time with Kyle and Stan Eka just doesn't care, everyone, calls him douchebag, buttlord, etc, he just thinks it's funny cause he likes to make fun of himself and make smelly farts all of the time lmao-

He is like when tfbw gives him time farts "Fart now can time bend shit, fuck yeah THIS IS MY MC ERA" like he doesn't think tsot also in his mc era

Creek couple for some reason 'adopted' new kid beside Stripe, Eka is confused about wtf is going on until Tweek spoiled him so much lmao Eka is like "My real parents are shit so Tweek and Craig is my parents now" that didn't age well in tfbw for a while tho-

Being a hero with an assassin class, he uses SHARP ace of spades cards instead of knives cause he was inspired by a cartoon show of spies/ agents that used cards lol

when the start of tfbw, Eka is kinda bored and curious wtf is this game they are playing that is so important that they ditch Eka and the other kids. then when Cartman asked what are your class, Eka immediately takes his notebook, and make one page of the class he wants and skill he wants also describing the weakness so cartman can't do his class type picker thing cause Eka knew Cartman gonna make fun of him. why one page? cause Eka knew if he was too invested he gonna make it 10 pages instead lmao

Eka doesn't care about the timeline of the movies when the two franchises hate their methods so much that they split up but He ONLY cares about the angst, after they got together as one franchise, Dr.Timothy asks origin story of Ace of Spades aka New Kid Hero Name, then he wrote in google doc of 40k draft origin story and send it to the freedom pals gc chat and he texted

Butthole: So if there want changes somethings let me know *Thump_up* I don't think they see Eka the same way after he wrote that shit in 15 minutes, 40k in 15 minutes lmao also, they cried hard cause its so much angst, they never gonna survive because Eka is an angst enthusiast ofc he gonna make it unnecessarily sad for no reason (edited) The freedom pals meet and discussing it about the franchise timeline, till making it a yelling battle

"What if there is angst on the table guys, angst bring entertainment you know" Eka only speak only in that meeting and never said anything again in other meetings

Freedom Pals stare at him confused while the former coon and friends are terrified Even Super Craig was like "Oh my god, I forgot about Butthole origin story- Fuck, guys… never make New Kid the main writer if there gonna be casting" Mosquito even start crying, yeah Eka traumatized them for dear life lmao

The new kid wrote his superhero persona as a self-destructive, self-sacrifice hero, he even tried to suggest that he want to lose his arm when the situation of one of Eka's parents need to sacrifice for Mephesto thing but luckily, Craig talks it out to him into not doing that, Eka is silly but idiot bitch

Eka play Stick of Truth and superhero game as the distraction of his home but because Cartman and others play superhero now, he instantly joins so he can peacefully forget about his parents being shit Reactions to them about NK skill, spin slash

"What is that... cards?, pfft that not gonna hurt me-" Then New Kid threw a few cards at Tupperware and the cards almost got into Tupperware's head, it goes through the helmet

"Okay, who dare it's okay the New Kid play with sharp things.." A very concerned and angry Wonder Tweek being a mom "Shut up, New Kid doesn't need to be babied" (Super Craig) 'Why are you my emotional dad figure again…' Eka is disappointed lmao

Eka is also a style shipper but he is kinda tired of them talking about the bigger franchise but then again he doesn't care about franchises so- He was like " YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID, YOU GUYS CAN BE STILL FRIENDS FFS, CAN YOU GUYS LEAVE COON" But because of his mutism, he can't say shit

Eka is sick of Coon and his bs and also wants to unalive him for a couple of reasons but he realized that not worth the hassle cause he knows it's gonna bite him in the ass if Cartman revenge on the new kid

in the finale of mitch conner's fight, Eka made his arm almost broken cause he is sick of Coon bs he just said "You know what, you already traumatized me killing my own father, so I am gonna give you a taste of REAL pain" which is he is not holding back and almost break Cartman left hand

Eka's best friends are Kenny and Butters, blonde boys and also Butters's protection squad Remember a photo in butters parents' room? Eka blackmailed Stephen to use that photo, to put it on Coonstagram so Butters don't ground for a long time About Kenny and Eka hc, they are inseparable until a superhero game made them distant In fact in civil war fight, Mysterion mostly target Eka for no reason "You join the wrong side, New Kid" "THEN WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME, YOU UNDERWEAR HERO ASSHOLE bangsat anjing nih anak" translation: son of a bitch

he whispered cussing in Indonesian in the last ones cause he was that angry- "Dude, I think he pissed.." Toolshed noticed when Eka is angry is not a good thing "I guess our intel that New Kid willingly join Coon and Friends is fake" D.Timothy usual telepathy thing

also the twist here, Eka becomes a quadruple agent, instead of spying for coon and friends he was like "Nope, I wanna know wtf is cartman going with this shit and I am not gonna get blamed for his shit"

after the couple's counseling, Eka get beaten and the couple just looks at Eka, "You know what, let's do this together.. for Butthole" After that they eat at McDonald's cause Tweek spoils Eka like a child lmao

after civil war 2, freedom pals found a notebook belonging to Eka but it's nothing special.

cause it's a drawing vent book that he draws mostly circles and notes from school and a weird list of items which is 100 glue, 20 tortillas and etc it's for crafting but he didn't write the context what is it for so they are so confused about what it meant "Look is New Kid okay? the book on the back of the cover it's said it's a vent book, but why the hell are there so many circles and this weird list??.." Toolshed concerned "As much I hate New Kid mentally ill and need therapy jokes (affectionate).. he needs therapy" (Tupperware)

One day, Eka found his confidence and tell his real name cause new kid doesn't feel like gonna be a long thing and probs confused with other new kid/exchange students so crack hc : Eka write fanfic of their superhero persona, especially Bunny but its enemies to lovers mysterion and Chaos cause in canon, chaos has WALL of mysterion pics Eka see that in tsot was like "… fruity"

Eka also does cover songs but in vtuber style where the cover/mv has lore animation so it gives a hint to his origin story he realizes singing makes him forget his anxiety, so he gives a message with his singing instead

Oh yeah also, Eka is kinda Kyle 2.0 but more emotional like Stan, he is just Kyle 2.0 cause he second person to fight Cartman constantly lol, At the start of the fight usually Eka gives him a really BAD fart lol

"Wha hey, Douchebag what that for?!" Cartman is angry at the Eka, apparently, he talks shit about his country's people being overproud Eka just stare at him blankly but he put a card that quote "Come at me, bitchboy" Ofc Eka won that easily, he kick him in the stomach hard that he vomit. Probably shouldn't watch too much Kamen Rider cause Rider Kicks lmao-

"Mampus lu" then he just walked away

"I don't know what that means but I am prouuud of our kid" (Craig) "It's mean 'deserved' but that doesn't mean New kid is your child, Craig" (Wendy)

Eka uses this to communicate sometimes when his phone is dead or doesn't have a notebook on him

Eka usual wear in TFBW

And that it lol, this is long post lmao

#sp new kid #douchebag south park #new kid south park #south park #south park fractured but whole #sp tfbw #tfbw #fractured but whole #stick of truth #sp tsot #sp douchebag #tsot #south park new kid oc #south park oc

[sealie-seolh]

Baba’s Habibi

Nicky let out a sigh of relief as the lift pinged and the doors opened. He normally used the stairs to the third floor. So tired, and guilty that he had ‘given in’ and used the lift.

“H-hello,” Nicky said automatically, seeing a baby in a bright yellow onesie alone in the corridor.

Or sturdy toddler, Nicky figured, but what did he know? Pot-bellied, rosy-bronzed cheeks with a head of ringlet curls, the baby was standing next to the straggly Philodendron under the skylight.  Nicky knew Yáo Su’s twins. Ms. Gibbons didn’t have kids or grandkids that visited. Niall and Lucas emphatically told everyone that they didn’t want kids.

The little boy was alone.

“Grrrr.” A plastic stegosaurus forged through the Philodendron mulch.

Nicky crouched, balancing the weight of his heavy backpack. Cute kid. He had enormous bright, brown eyes. The shiny drool on his chin was a little off putting. 

“I think that that might be one of Mei’s dinosaurs.” Nicky recognised it; he had given her a box of educationally appropriate, plastic dinosaurs for her birthday.  

The stegosaurus started climbing up the main stem.

“Have you just moved into 301?” Nicky asked. He didn’t expect an answer—little baby—but it was the obvious inference.

He got a gummy smile and a delightfully sticky stegosaurus in reply.

“Shall we check?” Nicky pocketed the toy for Mei and offered his hand to the toddler.

“Bah.” The toddler gripped his finger.

Half-bent over, Nicky toddled them the short distance to 301. Finger firmly captured, he couldn’t reach the bell, and had to rap on the door.

“Habibi, where are you hiding?” came from inside the flat.

“Is that your name? Habibi?” Nicky asked, and knocked a little harder.

Habibi babbled something vaguely intelligible, “Baba’s Habibi.”

The door was wrenched open.

“Tariq!” Dad dropped to his knees. His hands flexed ready to snatch, but he didn’t; trying not to scare his baby. His similarly brown eyes were immense, and startlingly half-filled with tears.

“Baba!” Habibi released Nicky’s finger and fell into his dad’s arms.

“How did you get outside?” Baba ended up on his ass. Baby cuddled close, curly heads knocking together. “Thank you. Thank you.”

“Cat flap,” Nicky explained in the face of that encompassing fear.

“What?”

“Mr. Skłodowska’s cat. A Maine Coon. Ozzie. Ozymandias, the King--” still half-crouched, Nicolò tapped the cat flap in the door, “--likes to explore.”

“What the F—” Baba pressed the bottom half of the door and hissed as the entire plate rocked open. “I‘ll be nailing that shut.”

The flat behind Baba and Habibi was filled with half-empty boxes and the chaos of a new move.

“I have tools,” Nicky offered, because who knew where Baba’s toolkit might be in the mess. The cat flap that Ozymandias had habitually used to visit everyone on the third floor was big enough for Habibi to walk through.

“Please,” Baba beseeched, wide eyed.  

“Let me get my tools.” Off balanced with the weight of his schoolbooks, Nicky stood.

Nicky’s flat was directly opposite. He dumped his backpack just inside his door, and considered the task. It would probably be sensible to root through Maisie’s, the landlady, storeroom for offcuts of wood. He contemplated the sofa, and knew if he sat he wouldn’t get up. But Baba had looked infinitely more tired and frazzled, and that cat flap was an accident waiting to happen.

Ten minutes later, he was back with a rectangle of plywood that he judged was slightly larger than the giant cat’s not-so-secret door. He knocked.

“Come in,” Baba hollered.

Nicky tried the door handle and the door opened. There was no appreciable change in the mess. But Habibi was in the corner in a playpen, with plush toys and some sort of bright, colourful plastic thing that pinged and played unfamiliar rhymes.

Kneeling, Nicky set to work. He wasn’t a professional woodworker by any means, but he could use a hammer and nails to make the door safe.

“Thank you,” Baba said, as Nicky finished.

“Not the prettiest, but it will stop Habibi escaping.” Nicky smiled up at Baba.

“Habibi? You mean Tariq? Habibi is ‘beloved.’ My little love. My son.” Baba, Nicky thought, had a lovely smile.

“Ah,” Nicky realised. “So you are not Baba?”

Baba snorted. “Uhm… no. Well, I am to Tariq – his dad. But my name is Yusuf. Or Joe.”

“Which do you prefer?”

“I go by either. Yusuf to family. Joe otherwise.”

“Nicolò,” Nicky said. “To family. But mostly Nicky.”

“Uhm.” Yusuf-Joe scratched at the back of his neck. “Uhm… I was going to order a take-away from the Thai place on the corner. Would you like to join us? Well, I have a yummy sweet potato and cauliflower cheese thing for Tariq. But I prefer something more tasty. A thank you for helping.”

“Ah,” Nicky began and saw Joe’s face fall. He hurried to explain, “If you want tasty, I do not recommend that place.”

“That bad?” Joe pulled a face.

Nicky nodded soberly. And surprised himself, “Why not come to mine?”

“We couldn’t--”

“I have vegetarian lasagne—I batch cooked last night. I have no wish to eat lasagne every night this week. It would be good to share. And--” Nicky smiled, “--you can meet Ozymandias.”

“The giant cat?” Joe pointed at the large piece of plywood. “I thought he was Mr. SWw—s?”

“Mr. Skłodowska went into—How do you say it in English?—Residential Care. And they do not allow pets. I take Ozymandias at weekends.” Nicky couldn’t resist saying, “On a lead.”

“Are you sure? I mean, is he going to try an eat Tariq?” Joe eyed the flap again.

“He prefers fish,” Nicky said, deadpan.

Joe snorted again.

He has a nice snort, Nicky thought and inwardly kicked himself.

Joe looked around the chaos of his new home, and clearly juggled the thought of meeting a giant cat, home cooked food, and, more than likely, taking a break.

“We’d like that.”  

“Good.” Nicky gathered up his tools. “Twenty minutes?”

“Perfect.” Joe looked left and right through the bedlam. “I’ll find Tariq’s dinner. It’s in one of these boxes.”

Nicky left him to it.

Ozymandias yowled at Nicky when he returned home, annoyed that he had only stopped a moment before.

“Got new friends coming. Please do not eat the baby.” Nicky tossed his toolkit in the cupboard under the stairs. “I told his Baba you prefer fish.”

As Nicky opened the fridge, Ozymandias curled around his calves, coating him with white and ginger tinted hairs, trying to trip him. He gave Ozzie his wet food, as otherwise he would continue trying to trip him, before transferring two extra-large servings of lasagne into a dish to warm through in the oven with a baguette stuffed with garlic butter.  

Nicky did a quick turn around the first floor of his flat and found no surprises. Ozzie had only been alone for a couple of hours. He hadn’t really been alone long enough to get bored and destroy anything but he was still missing Mr. Skłodowska. Nicky didn’t need to do much tidying, other than grabbing some folded laundry on the back of the sofa, followed by clearing the kitchen table of mail-and-miscellanea and giving it a quick wipe.  

He turned around taking in the open plan of kitchen, dining nook, living room, trying to figure if it was toddler-proof and came up a blank. The exercise bike in front of the television, maybe? Wine in the wine rack? He couldn’t move it, though. Ozymandias on the windowsill didn’t offer any guidance.

Tap. Tap.

“It’s open,” Nicky yelled.

Joe entered, Tariq on his hip. He had a plastic bag in his other hand, which probably held the baby’s food.

Ozymandias yowled a question.

“Lion, Baba. Lion,” Tariq said clearly.

“That is one big, fluffy cat.” Joe stared. He shot Nicky a concerned glance, because Ozzie was indeed a large cat. “Majestic, though.”

Ozymandias, sitting in the late evening sunlight, turning the ginger tips of creamy fur to molten gold accepted the fealty as it was his due.

“Are you sure—” Joe checked.

“No babies,” Nicky reassured.

“Can you? I need to,” Baba, no Joe, didn’t explain and leaned towards Nicky.

Momentarily confused, it took Nicky a moment to realise that Joe was handing him Tariq. It wasn’t until the baby reached that Nicky figured out what was happening.

“Hey, Habibi,” Nicky said, covering terror. Tariq was a chunky ball of unpredictability. What if he wriggled too much? What if Nicky dropped him? Tariq stared at him dead on.

Joe snorted. The snort.

“I’ll be right back.” He dumped the plastic bag and loped out the front door.

“Where’s he going?” Nicky chanced a nervous smile. Tariq laughed in his face. “I understand. Or maybe I don’t. I’m doomed. You’re adorable. Why?”

Joe had put the bag on the table. Chancing a one-handed grip for a second, Nicky up-ended it, and then got a two-handed secure hold back on Tariq. The sweet potato and cauliflower cheese microwavable pot rolled across the table.

“That does not look appetising,” Nicky told the baby. “And I do not have a microwave.”

“Din-dins,” Tariq offered, and smacked his lips.

“No microwave,” Joe sounded kind of horrified, as he toted a high chair into the flat. “I’m pretty sure it can be heated in a pan, it’s just cauliflower cheese and mashed potatoes.”

It sounded and looked disgusting.

“Tariq,” Nicky leaned back to properly look at the toddler, who met his gaze dead on, “are you six months old? One?”

“Nineteen months.” Joe smiled, and Nicky knew he was laughing in the nicest way at the fact that Nicky knew nothing about babies. “He likes the gloop, and I thought that it was easier, with moving, and all.”

Nicky was pretty sure he couldn’t serve such a concoction, and suspected it would stink the flat out.

“The lasagne is homemade,” Nicky said. “Aubergine, grated carrot and spinach. Is that okay for babies?”

“Spices? Salt?”

“A pinch of salt. It’s not a spicy sauce.” Nicky clarified, “There’s no chilli or paprika. Garlic? It has garlic and basil. It’s a fresh lasagne from the flats’ garden, out back. We have a kind of allotment. Cost-of-living-crisis and all. Started it during COVID lockdowns.”

“Do you fancy trying Nicky’s lasagne?” Joe asked.

“Lasssna,” Tariq agreed.

Joe shrugged. “We can give it ago. Fall back on the gloop, if he hates it.”

As Joe got Tariq situated in his highchair, Nicky pulled together a quick salad, and then plated out the two portions into three, using Tariq’s ingenious bamboo bowl.

“What would you like to drink?” Nicky asked over his shoulder. “I have milk, water, and wine… Orange juice.”

Joe, setting the garlic bread in the centre of the table, grinned at Nicky. Tariq was ready for food, spoon gripped in his pudgy fist. They looked like they belonged.

“Water for Tariq. I like juice,” Joe said. “Can I?”

“In the fridge. I’ll have water, thanks.”

They moved around each other like they had prepared meals a million times. Joe ferried the drinks and bowl of salad to the table. As Nicky put Joe and Tariq’s plates down, Joe darted to the counter to grab Nicky’s plate, and return.

“It smells amazing.” Eagerly, Joe sat and grabbed his fork, looking very much like his son.

They were waiting for him to sit, Nicky realised. He dropped into his seat with a thump.

Oh, this was the first day of the rest of his life.

Fin

Or the beginning

#the old guard #fanfic #mini-fic #mini-togfics #my fic

[naturepointstheway]

58 tugger and Misto

From this prompts list. Gonna go with Zurich!Misto because I think way too much about him.

---

Once again, Tugger was sprawled out in the den, moonlight playing on his thick fur, regaling his day's escapades, including how many times he had gone in and out of a door as he constantly changed his mind.

Twenty-seven times?! Mistoffelees marveled, though he thought Tugger might have been exaggerating a tadge. What is he doing, going for a feline world record?

He couldn't help a little bemused shake of his head at that, wondering why he was so in love with this dumbass cat who, after all this time, had still yet to learn how not to get stuck in drawers.

Maybe he'll have that lightbulb moment about drawers one day.

Mistoffelees wasn't holding his breath on that count though, and to be honest, he hoped he never would, as it was always entertaining to see him struggle to escape a confined space that might have fit Tugger as a kitten, but certainly not as a full grown Maine Coon.

Tugger had now moved on to a new topic, talking at Misto more than to him, but the latter didn't really mind. It was a comfort sometimes just to have Tugger chatting away as they enjoyed each other's company away from everyone else.

Content with listening a little longer, Mistoffelees let himself just study Tugger, noting the way he sprawled out with one back leg always a little farther behind than the other, how he tugged sometimes at his collar when particularly amused, the way his ears quivered at an exciting point in a tale, and the little scritchings he did at his mane every now and then, as though primping up a little. The richness of his voice, with its deep baritone, how it could go from loud to soft in the space of a few words, and did he even breathe at all in the last three stories?! When he interrupted his story to add a playful growl every now and then, it always sent tingles up and down Mistoffelees' body, and the harder he tried not to imagine Tugger growling his name like that into his ear, the more he imagined it.

Really. Tugger needed to stop that. It was simply becoming unbearable, and Mistoffelees wouldn't last much longer before needing to experience what it would be like to kiss him for the first time.

Wait.

What?

Suddenly, kissing Tugger was all Mistoffelees could think about, and he couldn't keep his eyes from drifting down to Tugger's mouth, thinking how soft his mane would feel under his paws, or when he nuzzled the sides of his face.

Would you please just kiss me?

He wasn't often bold, but now Mistoffelees found himself standing up and striding over to Tugger, standing so close to the other that they were almost nose to nose. Tugger abruptly stopped to stare at him, struck speechless. Mistoffelees couldn't help a small smile as he put a paw on Tugger's mouth.

"Mmh?" Tugger asked, staring at Mistoffelees with confusion.

Now or never.

Before he could lose this bold nerve in him, Mistoffelees removed his paw from Tugger's mouth, and leaned in, inching closer and closer.

"Misto?"

Now!

He pressed his mouth to Tugger's in a firm kiss, front paws cupping his face, fur tickling between his digits, heart pounding in his ribcage, before pulling back quickly, stumbling backward over his back paws, fur tingling, paws ringing with magic stirred by this experience.

I did it? I did it.

Tugger stared at him so long Misto began to worry that he'd done it wrong, that he should've asked somehow first, or...

Did I miss something again?

He pawed at his ears, waiting for a rebuke. Instead, to his surprise, he heard an appreciative purr, laced with surprise and joy.

"Damn, Misto, I wasn't expecting that!"

Mistoffelees pointed at his own lips, then at Tugger, with a nod and then a shake of his head. He hoped Tugger could understand the question.

"That was amazing--can you do it again?"

A questioning purr, small with a quiet hope.

Tugger winked, flashing Mistoffelees that grin that he knew charmed the fur off anyone, the magical cat included.

"I guess we're gonna be busy for a while tonight, huh?"

Mistoffelees grinned back, heart fluttering, ready to burst with so much joy he had to do a spin or two on his way back to Tugger. When Tugger held out his paw to him, Mistoffelees practically leaped into his embrace, breath catching when a kiss landed firm on his lips, with the same enthusiasm as Misto's own had been. Again, he let his paws entangle in Tugger's mane, closing his eyes as the bigger cat held him even closer, one paw between his shoulder blades, and the other in the small of his back, losing themselves in their kiss, knowing their love for each other was reciprocated and met with enthusiastic joy.

I hope this never ends...

#cats the musical #cats fanfiction #Tuggoffelees #mr mistoffelees #Mistoffelees #Rum Tum Tugger #mute mistoffelees #zurich!misto

[thechanelmuse]

TMZ Discusses Lineage-Based Reparations for Black Americans in California with AB3121 Task Force Chair Kamilah Moore

The ancestors been watching & waiting for this for us – their children, their descendants of U.S. chattel slavery. By states starting with Cali is one thing, but a federal rollout needs to be in close proximity. Y’all not getting off that easy. Everyone flooded here because of the dollar our ancestors bodies generated through forced labor and priced as stock to create this country’s wealth and “bootstraps” people have been pulled up from. The Dream off of the backs of the enslaved Americans. 

In 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said he was going down to Washington to get his check. Then they killed him.

Locking our Freedmen’s bank during the brief Reconstruction era. (Fuck you, Kamala. Get away from the damn bank.) Jim Crow. Burning and bombing our businesses. Redlining. White terrorism. Income disparity. The highest mortgages to us. The long list of our inventions out of enslavement denied the right to be patented by our ancestors. Just taken. Where the fuck is the straps for the boots people be talking about?

We’ve had 15 million acres of land stolen and left with damn near 1 million. (I can’t wait until y’all uncover the paperwork of y’all heirs property and/or the land your people were ran off from before heading west or north during the Great Migration for what they thought was “safety,” and now somebody or a corporation is occupying your said land 👀. Chile, getcho shit.) 

What does reparations look like for Black Americans? We don’t want no programs. No grants. No scholarships. No bullshit. Just cut the check like it's been done for every other ethnic groups in this country or who’ve oddly received redress from this country at the hands of another country 🥴 without a problem, mumble or pushback. 

"How much," especially annually per person, is only the business of those instructed to analyze the correct value amount for centuries deep repair & rebuilding and those whose accounts it will go into based on lineage. Stop pocket watching.

Also we need to be reclassified, but this time on our own terms and by which we agree to for fucking once. It’s time. African-American is an immigrant ethnicity, which Black Americans who are tied to this land have never been. I don’t understand why that’s so confusing for some, but I understand why Kamilah is using it: we don’t currently have another federally recognized name except for Black and we know how that goes. I’m convinced Jesse coon Jackson gave us that reclassification (African-American) on his own accord in the 1970s so we could appear to be untied to this land by ethnic name and eventually be invisible by Africans who rightfully identify with African-American or those who racially identify as Black but have a differing ethnicity. 

Obama abolished Negro in law on his own accord, which is the given name on our people’s paperwork, kicked off in full during the reclassification of American Indians to Negro before the $5 Indian Dawes Rolls, which is a whole ‘nother rabbit hole story. The copper colored folks. (The Church of Latter Day Saints needs to release all those kept records. We know who’s been lying. Just show it.) 

Jesse, Obama and everyone else knew what we were always heading to: Reparations. People who are not racially Black feeling a way is no surprise when their dream is to see us as a permanent underclass that they can latch onto to fight their battles, reap from or head into poverty, which has been projected to be zero by 2053 unless redress. Not happening.

But people who are racially Black feeling a way ain’t a damn shock either. That’s what they were positioned to do whether those who run for office or those who’ve been appointed as public figures, no matter African, Caribbean or (Pan-African - “it should be for everyone Black” or coon ass - “reparations is stupid and divisive” like Ben Carson) Black American.

Have a fucking seat. Shit 😂. 

The lies just to undermine us or latch on. Cut the fucking cord. Damn lol. In the past, we’ve included others and even muled for them to our own detriment without reciprocation. It’s lineage-based not race-based. I just can’t fathom how anyone can immigrate to a country headed by incoming white people and the descendants of colonizers who took the position of the long list of colonizers, experience race-based harm because they share our skin color, then continue to stay here at their own will in hopes to receive redress when they hear long-awaited “reparations” that were paused for people who share their skin color is on the way. Like...It ain’t clicking. Bitch, I could never. It’s beyond disrespectful and thievery again. Like shit..

Black Americans can literally trace our lineage under 30 minutes to the 1870 census, unless there were certain cases like adoption, for one example. That’s why there’s going to be genealogists aboard to help those who need assistance in looking through the United States’ heavily detailed and kept records dating back to the 1500s. It’s easy. On one line alone, I’m in the damn mid-1400s going into Europe 🥴. Black to Colored to Negro to Mulatto to former American Indian birth names and tribes to Europe, per this paperwork. You do the math.

Like I’ve said before, the U.S. keeps a receipt on everything and everyone who’s voluntarily immigrated here, they’ve assigned as enslavers or they’re purchased for forced labor. We know.

[windfighter]

Frontier and the Pandemic

Currently rotating this in my head so I'm gonna make y'all rotate it as well :3

The moment Covid-19 starts spreading Kouichi tells everyone in the group that they need to make sure to wash their hands and wear masks. He really only manages to convince Junpei and Izumi

Tomoki catches Covid pretty soon after it starts spreading in Japan. It's not much worse than a cold and he laughs at Kouichi for being so worried about it

Takuya gets kicked off his football team because they don't want to play with the person who must have brought it to Italy. They're completely ignoring the fact that he has lived in Italy for over 10 years already because racism

Takuya doesn't handle being kicked off the team very well, but since his respons is to isolate himself in his very big house he at least manages to avoid covid.

Kouichi gets it from working at the hospital treating people with covid. He brings it home to Izumi.

Izumi gets somewhat bad from it. Colors gets weirder for her again. She's sick for about a month and even after that she's still absolutely exhausted.

Kouichi gets really bad. He has to be hospitalized and is at one point close to dying

Junpei avoids catching it from his partners, mostly because Kouichi early on told him to stay in the apartment he has closer to the opera because Kouichi knew there was a huge chance he'd bring it home.

Junpei does feel bad for not being there to take care of Kouichi and Izumi while they're sick and blames himself for Kouichi becoming that ill from it. He's obviously wrong, but it's hard to be seperated from your partners like that

Junpei sings opera on his balcony every evening to help raise the spirits of the neighbourhood in these trying times. There's an old couple nearby that sings along and another couple that dances to it. It's a wonderful thing in an otherwise terrible period

Kouji is in America when it hits, helping his friend R.A. Coon study how the urban lifestyle affects the life of racoons. He gets beaten up by a couple of idiots, but Ruki saves his ass (and then teaches him rock climbing, but that's a completely different story)

Due to his solitary lifestyle Kouji would have avoided it, except he had to go to the hospital after getting beaten up, and caught it from a person there who refused to wear their mask. He doesn't get super ill from it, but it does completely screw up his sense of smell. It's still messed up a year later and he has trouble eating because of it.

(which obviously worries Kouichi who just wants him to move to Italy so he can take care of his baby brother and make sure he's eating like he should)

Junpei does eventually catch it as well, but he gets a mild variant that's not much worse than a somewhat insistant cold. It makes him feel even worse about not being able to help Kouichi and Izumi.

Tomoki catches it a second time and while losing his sense of smell and taste for a week was meh, it still wasn't as bad as Kouichi made it sound like. He apologizes for underestimating the illness when he hears about how bad Kouichi got from it though.

Takuya moves back to Japan when the worst is over and joins a football team there instead since he can no longer trust his old teammates. The first match between Japan and Italy after that becomes very intense

#windy rambles #digimon frontier #headcanon #covid 19 #there's so many thoughts rotating in my head at any given time #here's some of them :3

[weerd1]

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds

Let me preface this please by saying: I am just an idiot on the internet. But when I want to gush, I like to gush.  I want to talk about why SNW works so well for me. There will be spoilers for S1 and mention of things seen in trailers and promos for season 2. 

This show pulls off something that the Abrams films did well, and perhaps this show does better: It engages nostalgia without wallowing in it. The nostalgia invoked here isn’t a game of “how many Easter Eggs can we fit in an hour of television” or a contest to see if the most call backs to other series can be made. It is its own identity that leverages nostalgia to remind you the universe this is in, while still going, well, boldly in its own direction. 

It’s not just aping previous incarnations of Trek with it’s soundtrack-though there are places where it appropriately drops a motif, and for me that works. Yes, we get the ‘Amok Time’ fight music, but we get it in a scene which falls completely in line with this younger Spock’s character, dreaming as he is wrestling with his duty to his Vulcanity and his Humanity. 

When Sam Kirk shows up, it’s not because “hey look everyone it’s SAM KIRK!” He’s not only an interesting member of the crew we get to explore in ways we haven’t before (who knew he was basically Guy Fleegman?), but also setting up the eventual and inevitable introduction of Jim Kirk. 

Are there maybe places where the show goes a little too far with those callbacks?  Sure- I’m still not sure where they are going with the Sybok thing. And despite how much I adore the character, and see some interesting internal conflict based on it, I’m not sure really if La’An really needed to be a descendant of Khan Noonien Singh. 

What I don’t see is storytelling being shortcut BECAUSE of nostalgia or callbacks. This show feels like and is obviously rooted in TOS, but it’s willing to stretch the shared characters without them going OUT of character, and it’s willing to show you the Star Trek perhaps we would have had if Gene Roddenberry and Gene Coon had a lot more money and tech at their disposal...but those are just trappings. 

The Human stories here are what makes it Star Trek. So even in places where I might have preferred something a little different, I never get the feeling the writers are just playing Trek madlibs to sketch out their story. We see things that from the chronological perspective make sense to be present, and we see plenty of new we haven’t seen before.  

Yet it feels fresh, contemporary ALL WITHOUT HAVING TO RESORT TO GRITTY. It’s an unabashedly upbeat drama, proud of its heritage without being utterly reliant on it, and carving a space on TV counter to so much GRIMDARK around it. 

And so far what I see in the previews of S2 look to want to do the same. From straight comedy with Boimler and Mariner showing up, to a solid courtroom episode that I would assume ends with an acquitted Una as she appears throughout the trailer. I hope they keep it up. Like the Kelvin movies, there’s a love here for the source material as a foundation. But this show reigns in the willingness to roam a bit and stays firmly in the Classic Trek mode. Here’s hoping Season 2 keeps it up.

#Star Trek #Star Trek Strange New Worlds #Strange New Worlds Spoilers

[larkawolfgirl]

A First of Many Colors (Promptio)

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Prompto Argentum, Gladiolus Amicitia/Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia Characters: Prompto Argentum, Gladiolus Amicitia

Summary:  Prompto's excited to finally be bottoming for Gladio.

Read on ao3

This is the first time Prompto has ever been happy that his parents are away. They are on one of their many business trips which means he is assured to have an evening alone with his largest boyfriend.

Gladio and he are sitting on the couch pretending to look through movie choices. Or, Prompto is pretending at least. He has other plans and isn't doing a good job at hiding it with the way his hand keeps feeling up his boyfriend’s large thigh.

Gladio laughs and clicks the tv off. “Woah, chocobo, I thought we were gonna chill first.”

Prompto blushes. "I...I'm just really excited for tonight because," he lowers his eyes in the way he knows Gladio finds adorable, "I want you to top me."

Gladio’s face lights up with excitement. “Are you sure?”

“Totally. I've been thinking about this for a week straight. I even asked Noctis what to expect and how best to prepare.”

"Well, let me tell you something. I've been thinking about it since you kissed me."

That confession does good things to his insides. "Good." Even though he rationally knew Gladio had just been holding off, he still had subconscious doubts from not being able to solidify their relationship this way yet. Now that he can, he’s as eager as a puppy at playtime and pounces into Gladio’s lap much like one. He can feel Gladio’s own eagerness in the way that he kisses him, as if he’s been caught without air and he’s desperately sucking in all that he can get. His large hands squeeze at the tops of his thighs and Prompto ruts their stirring erections together.

Prompto’s muffled moan shifts into a whine when Gladio scoots him back. “No, if we are doing this, we’re doing it right.”

Before Prompto can ask what he means, he’s already lifting him up to walk them into his bedroom. His hands support his rear and he kneads his cheeks and bounces him some on the way which lets Prompto’s clothed dick rub against his abominable muscles, noticeable even through his muscle shirt. How he got this lucky, he’ll never know.

A trill runs up his spine when Gladio drops him onto the bed and quickly climbs over to bracket him in. Prompto’s chest is tight with something he’s terrified he may lose if he doesn’t hold onto it. Expression soft, he feels over Gladio’s hard chest, feeling each muscle, before following the lines of his tattoo down his arms. He feels cornered, but in a way that makes him feel safe and where he’s meant to be. “You’re perfect,” Prompto coons, his attempt to lasso that feeling before it escapes him.

“So are you.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.” His kiss is still desparate but sweeter this time. When he’s done, he removes Prompto’s shirt to reveal the scattered freckles on his collarbone. “You’ve got all these beautiful freckles,” he pokes at a few of them. “Have you noticed they darken when you get worked up?” He bows down to kiss at two near his bellybutton. “You’ve picked this adorable hairstyle that looks like a chocobo. Your eyes are such a unique color. I don’t care how you see yourself. You’re just as striking as Noct and Iggy. You’re so receptive to all of our touches,” as if proving his point he cups Prompto’s cheek and smiles when he nuzzles into it. “You’ve loved us in every way you knew how for as long as I’ve known you. You’ve probably got the biggest heart out of everyone on Eos.”

“Gladio!”

That feeling is swelling, and Prompto is this close to crying when Gladio tacks on, “Plus, you have the sexiest voice when it grows hoarse when you’re about to cum”

“N--no it doesn’t!”

Gladio chuckles. “We’ll see about that.”

He kisses around his belly again and undoes his fly. Prompto lifts his hips to help him remove his pants. Once they are off, Gladio lowers himself to his knees on the floor so that he is level to stare in awe at his already stretched hole. “Shit.”  

Prompto wiggles his hips so that the plug is better on display. “Like it? Noct thought it would help. Iggy monitored that I was I prepped well enough, so you don’t need to worry about him punishing you."

Gladio places a wet kiss at the spot where his thigh and cheek meet. “Gods, I want you so bad.”

Prompto grins and stretches his arms out wide as if asking for a hug. “Take me then. I’m all yours.”

He nudges the butt plug up into his walls once before twisting it out and tossing it somewhere on the bed. “Believe me, I will.”

The next thing Prompto knows, there is the feel of a wet tongue at his hole and Prompto keens. “What are you doing? Noct already got me ready.”

“Can never be too careful. Besides,” he lifts his face high enough for Prompto to see his smirk, “I like it.”

He goes to town eating him out to the point Prompto’s panting, cock red and dripping. “T--that’s enough,” he knocks at his face with his thighs. He can feel Glado’s smirk against his skin as he gives one last masterful suck for good measure, and fuck. Gladio definitely knows how to eat someone out.

Prompto takes in some deep breaths trying to calm down so that he doesn’t lose it before they’ve already begun.

"Gladio!" he whines. "I'm not gonna last."

“That good, huh?”

“Mm.” He nods his head encouragingly. Noctis may hate Gladio’s inflated ego, but Prompto loves it. He can’t help it.

“It’s all good. Just hold on.” He finally undresses himself, thankfully without a show (Prompto doesn’t think he can take it right now). “Since you’re so prepared, I assume you got lube and a condom?”

“Top dresser draw.”

He turns to get it giving Prompto a wonderful view of his tattoo and firm behind. Last time they’d been together he had walked him through fucking him . His dick jolts at the memory.

Gladio climbs back onto the bed and smears a generous amount of lube over his huge cock. Then finally, finally his cock is pushing at his walls. He enters him agonizingly slowly, as if he is the most precious thing and Prompto can hardly even feel a strain on his muscles thanks to it and his earlier preparation. Regardless, he can feel how large he is, that he’s fuller than ever before, and he loves it. As soon as he’s bottomed out, Prompto grips his shoulders. “You’re so big. I can’t believe it.”

“In a good way?”

“Astrals, yes. Move?”

Gladio pulls out almost as slowly as he entered, but then he pushes back in with one fluid motion which manages to hit his prostate catching Prompto completely off-guard. He nearly screams, as overwhelmed as he is. Gladio doesn’t stop, repeating this precise thrust a few times.

“Oh my gods!” Prompto finally manages between incoherent babbling noises. “Did Iggy tell you how to do that?”

Gladio smirks, definitely proud of himself. “Glad I was able to successfully garner that piece of knowledge.”

“I love him.”

“Hey, what about me?”

Prompto pulls him down into a long, deep kiss and Gladio rewards him with faster, harder thrusts that leave him breathless. Prompto runs his hands over Gladio’s back, and Gladio runs his over his sides, then his hips and stomach. Suddenly, he stops moving altogether.

“What’s wrong?” Prompto asks, panicked.

Gladio rises, blinking down at his hands. He moves just a bit, then gasps. “Holy shit.”

Prompto looks down to where he’s looking and blinks himself. “Is that?”

Instead of answering, Gladio takes his hand and forces it over the bulge in his stomach. He gives another thrust and the bulges moves with him. “Fuck.”

“Right?” Gladio moves his hand to the side to feel the bulge this time. Then he tests having their hands side by side. Their fingers thread over the bulge and Prompto’s pretty much lost it at this point.

“I’m gonna-” he cuts off, keening instead.

Gladio chuckles, brushing his face with his free hand. “There it is, the hoarseness.”

He so embarrassed it only makes it worse as he sputters just as hoarsely. Gladio saves him with a hungry kiss. “Let’s cum together, chocobo.”

He pushes Prompto’s hand down on his stomach so he’s mock feeling him up through the barrier of his body, then moves his own to jerk Prompto off for real. He may be better with his mouth than his hands, but he still knows how to get Prompto off better than he should and it only takes a few thrusts before his orgasm hits him like a tidal wave. He tugs Gladio closes just as he reaches his own orgasm and groans in that husky tone right by his ear.

Prompto’s still for a long time just recovering. That feeling is still there in his chest. He wasn’t sure before, but now he doesn’t have a doubt in his mind. “Gladdy?”

“Yeah?” Gladio’s still inside him, just lying there poking freckles on his right arm.

“I love you.”

Gladio sits up on his arms to meet Prompto’s eyes. He looks at him for a moment before finally returning the sentiment in a tone so tender it breaks something in Prompto’s chest he hadn’t known was there. Prompto meets him halfway into a kiss. They kiss for what feels like hours, turning onto their sides at some point so that Gladio could pull out without having to move away to do so.

“Thanks, Gladdy,” he finally breaks the long silence.  “It finally feels for real.”

Luckily, Gladio seems to understand what he means and doesn’t force him to elaborate on his insecurities. “It’s always been real, chocobo. We’ve all loved you from the start.”

Prompto nods. “Yeah, still don’t really get it though. I should be the one loving you, not the other way around.”

Gladio frowns. Prompto can tell he wants to give him a lecture but he’s grateful he doesn’t. And maybe that’s only because he doesn’t want to potentially ruin this beautiful first between them, but he can live with that. “We’ll just have to settle on it going both ways then.”

Prompto kisses his shoulder in appreciation.“Noct’s gonna flip knowing he missed this.”

"We’ll just have to show them next time then.”

Prompto smiles, squeezing him in a tight embrace. “Yeah, we will.”

#my writing #promptio #gladiolus x prompto #prompto argentum #gladiolus amicitia #ffxv #final fantasy xv #chocobros #fanfic #fanfiction

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

hehehe i get silly ideas at night (:

@ccartman

write a fictional story were bojack horseman was kidnapped to be turned into horse meat for burgers only to get saved by Coon and Friends

Bojack Horseman had always been a popular figure in Hollywood. He was a well-known actor and a beloved member of the community. So when he went missing, everyone was worried. But little did they know that Bojack had been kidnapped and was being held against his will.

Bojack woke up in a dark room with a throbbing headache. He had been knocked out cold and had no idea how long he had been unconscious. Slowly, he realized that he was tied up and couldn't move. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could make out several figures moving around the room.

It wasn't long before Bojack realized the terrible truth. He was going to be slaughtered and turned into horse meat for burgers. He could hear the men talking about the process and how they were going to make a fortune selling "Bojack burgers" to the unsuspecting public.

Bojack was terrified. He had always joked about being a has-been, but he never thought he would end up like this. As he struggled to free himself, he heard a commotion outside the room. Suddenly, the door burst open and a group of heroes rushed in.

It was Coon and Friends, the superhero team that Bojack had seen on TV before. They had heard about the Bojack burger scheme and had come to rescue him. The men in the room put up a fight, but Coon and Friends were more than a match for them.

Bojack watched in awe as the superheroes took down the kidnappers one by one. It was like something out of a movie. Just when it seemed like all hope was lost, Bojack was saved. Coon and Friends untied him and helped him to his feet.

Bojack was shaken but relieved. He thanked Coon and Friends for saving his life and vowed to help them in any way he could. Together, they made sure that the kidnappers were brought to justice and the horse meat burger scheme was exposed.

Bojack was grateful to be alive, and he knew that he would never take his life for granted again. He had always been a bit of a joker, but he realized that his life was precious and that he needed to be more careful in the future. Thanks to Coon and Friends, he had a second chance, and he wasn't going to waste it.

#ai shenanigans

[myregressionblog]

So here's the deal.

I have a condition, don't wanna say which. It's rare and could give hints about who I am, but, it took out just the right things to make me feel like I'm regressing and I don't really want to.

First, I'm married. Very happily. He's always been caring and loving and nurturing. He's understanding and always willing to help. He makes a lot of money, and, I'm making six figures, an entrepreneur, IQ 141, to the point that it was diagnosed as a disorder as a teen... But I can't live out my potential. I was born with a disease in my genes that was always going to cripple me. In fact, I can't do much at all. My bones are very fragile. I still managed to run my business from home just fine, and my husband never minded supporting me financially (and emotionally... I'm almost afraid of people because I've been through so many traumas that people wouldn't believe all of these somewhat unconnected disasters could happen to one person, but here I am. He's my rock.) He's held me after PTSD nightmares and always rushes to my side when I wake up screaming in pain because I fell asleep with a limb in the wrong position.

He's been nailing it helping me... so much that I was already feeling sort of useless. He didn't make a lot when we married, about the US average. But his boss hated him, so I came up with the plan to remove my husband as the factor, if his boss's resentment of him was the thing holding him back. I spoke with his boss, and, I had (past tense) this natural air of leadership and authority, before all of this. Professors, bosses, buyers, others in my trade, impressing them all didn't even require effort from me. By the end, he was a bobble head to my song, "Oh, you're clearly the brains here", "You seem like a very capable young woman", all of that. My essays are still being passed out at my Alma Mater as examples, with the caveat of "Not everyone can be Shakespeare". In fact, I was in school to be a doctor before my illness took my spine and my legs. I'm saying this just to say, I'm used to being independent, powerful, capable, chosen as leader whether I wanted it or not, told my new psych theories are cutting edge and should be submitted for peer review.

But, my illness took that all away. I had to drop out of college with Hopkins acceptance grades and accolades. I was shadowing my physician (Figured I already knew him, may as well ask!) and the future was bright, but, my health just fell apart. If it weren't for my husband supporting me, I'd still be with my abusive parents or homeless, depending on how bad it got. But, I was starting to feel, well, like I did when I was a little girl, being cared for by my wealthy grandmother. I was not just cared for, but wearing $1000.00, a day's wages for my husband, in clothes, with a top of the line laptop, always-colored-and-cut hair, expensive collector items of things in which I hold interest (If I want band merch, it's signed. If we see a show, we have backstage passes — I got a fashion compliment from Alice hecking Cooper! — if we get a game, it's the super duper pre-order collector's edition. I told him about a Dragonite plushie my grandmother bought me when I was a kid that was lost or stolen. He replaced it. It was over a thousand dollars. My cat died. He got me a necklace with an engraving of him on it, a matching ring, and a 1500 dollar life size (He was a Russian Maine Coon.) plushie of him.

I love my husband. I really do. I thought I loved my exes but this feeling, I never felt that. I think I mistook interest with love. It's just that I spent my life achieving, in jobs, college, even in the business I'm running since I had to drop out, a little venture with genetics. I produce some of the best results of my field... But, it's my play money. It's six figures! What's worse, I haven't been able to do it for awhile because the local government is corrupt and can't take responsibility for anything (long story), so, he's been giving me 150 a month. Yeah. An allowance. Add to that, we have a cruddy bath tub, I can't grab the sides or they'll cut me, and I have trouble getting in. He started helping me in the tub, then he started helping me with some of the parts of bathing that are harder on me, like shaving my legs (rekd spine, remember?) and, he'd help with other things, just because he has this bizarre uselessness complex and he wants to be incredibly helpful, but, he's over-achieving at it so much, he's making me, someone predicted to do great things, make the textbooks, all that jazz, feel like a child. Oh, but it gets worse.

All the way back in college, I noticed I was seeing some yellow in my panties. Then, I began noticing my "warning time" to pee getting less and less, down to about two minutes. Then, I began wetting the bed. So, yeah, I'm in diapers. That was the big one. Bedwetting was really where it started... I felt like I was 3. He never made me feel bad about it, and always understood, it was a health problem, not uncommon with my ailment. When I began just having to wear diapers 24/7, he said he didn't mind changing me. I didn't even think about it. I just thought, "Well, my shoulders are going, I have the butt for which Kim K paid good money, but I was born with it. Reaching behind it isn't easy." and, when he was putting the baby oil on me, I realized how infantile it all felt, combined with already feeling like a spoiled little rich girl before.

I want my pacifier now. I only began using it half as a joke, half because I don't sleep naturally. I have Entrepreneur Insomnia. Elon Musk and Neal DeGrasse Tyson have it as well. They both sleep about 4 hours, but I don't sleep at all. My brain doesn't shut up. I thought something fidgety, but not with my hands, a more slight and instinctual movement, and, I'm into evolutionary biology and psychology, so, I know that it's in the human instinct to be calmed when suckling on something like that. I was using basic psychology to just try and get the sleep that, if left to my own devices, I will only get for four hours A WEEK. I'm on a lot of sedatives too, so, yeah, having to be put down to sleep is just another thing.

Then, I severed with the gamete donors (If you knew what they've done, everything in its totality, you'd be amazed I haven't killed them; it's not for lack of trying, at least as a teen.) and decided "It's my time now. I get to define myself." All of my friends turned on me, and all I ever did was support them — One, I basically gifted a franchise of my business. He was too much of a wuss for the responsibility. Guess he doesn't wanna make six figures too. The rest, I've either just been there when they needed someone, or even talked them down from suicide. I did nothing to any of them. It's just like they all turned at once. I don't want any more friends. I'm scared even of my in-laws. All I know of family is abuse of every classification. I just assume people will hate me now. They always have. Bullied to hell and back in school, beaten, molested, psychologically ruined, and abandoned by my own parents, gun to my head by my older sibling, it's been hell and I just want to hide.

Of course, Mr. Helpful is on it with that. I asked him to gatekeep all contact with me, just because, I'm so tired of people. Who needs enemies with the kinds of "friends" and "family" I've had? I'm not great at the whole social skills thing. I met my husband on a forum, but, to be fair, I lived in the kind of place where men with an IQ over 90 were rare creatures, and usually just as damaged as I was, causing problems. To make things worse, I went on Keto. I was 200lbs, 5'2" (I used to be 5'5". My spine is just so degraded I've already lost 3 inches.), and tired of being overweight, so I decided I was going to do something about it. Even the easiest exercise could hurt me. Diet is the only control I have. I also just started going 5 days a week without food, only eating on weekends. The idea is, rev up my metabolism with ketosis, then, go on a fasting cycle to minimize intake while my metabolism was on crystal meth. It's worked. I'm thin now, and I've found a good lifestyle when it comes to eating to avoid that, but, a side effect of the keto diet is, well, leakage... So I don't even have 100% bowel control. He takes care of that too, while I'm cringing in embarrassment.

I've never been into the world of age play or anything... I just feel more and more like I'm regressing in age, or mindset, or something, and he's taking care of my every little need and, ugh. I guess I feel like I missed adulthood. I can't do anything without help. I have to hold his hand tightly when we go anywhere, because, my cane is in one hand, and in the other, he's helping me walk. My knees fall backwards. My fingers bend backwards (distal joint) without my control too, so I have to hand things to him and ask him to open it. (Before, I just kept a pocket knife on my car keys, lol. Oh... I don't drive anymore either. I haven't had a license in years. There are reasons I gave it up, but, I don't want to talk about it. Surprise! More trauma!)

I just want the ambitious future I thought I'd have. This disease has taken everything but my life, even my adulthood... Right now, I'm not accomplishing anything, competing at anything, making money, or learning a skill, and the kind of person I am, that drives me nuts. And no, it isn't my husband's fault. I'd be lost without him. It's this disease. I've said enough that, if you know about obscure genetic diseases (1/10,000) that you can probably guess. It was common among circus contortionists... And, yeah, that's all fun and games — I used to love grossing people out by turning my wrist 360 degrees laterally — until your bones start coming out when you didn't do it on purpose. God, it hurts. I had to go to the hospital because I turned my head to the side too long. I just want the life I thought I'd have... I have been competing since basically the time I was toilet trained, in ballet, in K4 at 3, etc. I was the rich kid groomed for success and rewarded for competition, but that was just my grandma. My parents just treated me like a freak. A lot of people did.

Psychologically, I think I know why I'm regressing so easily, and, yeah, it comes from having a messed up childhood, without saying too much. A dash of Michael Jackson Syndrome (never had a real childhood due to being expected to perform like an adult from a very young age), and a dash of early childhood trauma involving being treated like a baby when I wasn't one by my parents, just because they thought how upset I'd get was funny. I know I said I didn't want to explain, but if I'm talking about the rest here, I might as well say that. I don't have friends or family. This is where I bear my soul.

I'm sure a lot of people who have this as a fetish will envy me. I'd trade bodies with you in a second, buddy, just let me keep my mind and my partner.

[kindtobechurlish]

Now the asshole is giving his signs. Everyone thinks another asshole is close to him, but the asshole who everyone thinks is close got a bail out and all he is is a collaborator with Russia. Anything Russia wants, he does. This is Vladimir Putin and his buddy, Alexander Lukashenko.

Why must you be so shrewd? The contrast to that effect are people who thought I was too radical, I just wanted to make some money as I had so-called family issues, just for me to show them racialism first hand. I’m not a Christian, so I am not going to see facts I already knew and say, “stupid negroes”, and replace negro with “n”, instead I am going to know that I (emphasis on I) am black and in me being black I can fill the position. I can highlight what needs to be highlighted, and racialism is a real thing - that token negro, that token negro female, doesn’t want to address it. I have gone to the extent to expose Caribs and mascago, negroes from Florida, and still I am oppressed. Who is oppressed and they go to a woman to relieve them? I instead wanted to relieve women and I found a product of ancient times to do so.. Opium Tampons and Pads. Yea. Capitalized. I can make money, and in the money according to blackmail, it enables the people who show up, I have a product to conduct business and it isn’t a race until I go broke but it’s me up-keeping the kingdom.

Why would I want to make a guy royal, if he can’t do anything for me? Some guy would give me signs he wants to be royal, but here I am with that negro female validated. “Go out and get you another job.” She is plagued by ragtime just to not know ragtime, and it’s to the n word. Yea. You know what the n-word means, they didn’t even say it on the plantation for the n-word was a Jim Crow, Jim Cuff, thing, explaining the word “negro” (openly said in the 60’s), so because you know what the n-word means that doesn’t mean you know the details.. such as slave traffic or slave ownership and so on. “N.” Do you see it? That negro female doesn’t know ragtime, but she knows the talking points of ragtime, “all coons look alike to me”, without knowing it. The reason why that negro female doesn’t like the n-word, isn’t for the reason why I don’t like the n-word. She sees negro and the n-word as the same, so she doesn’t know Jim Crow laws come from the ragtime song. “The new Jim Crow”, and when I first heard ragtime I was confused. “How is this bad”, and then I saw coon songs to consider my actions and how people treat me.

That’s why I am like this. I am not too radical. Am I an antisemite? Go figure

[bumbleklee]

pets!

masterlist | 1k prompt masterlist | family series

prompt: genshin characters and what i think their pets would be :) @bunny-rambles -rambles @dourpeep

warnings: none! unless you don’t like animals (who doesn’t like animals)

zhongli has a parakeet. he has a little perch for it in his office and sometimes it flies over to sit on his shoulder or the corner of his desk. it’s a very sweet bird but it likes to repeat things, so don’t curse around it or zhongli might get mad. 

albedo has a maine coone cat (thanks peeper). he’s big and fluffy and from the streets so albedo jokes that he used to be in a street gang but he saved it and gave it another chance at life. he can eat three dinners and sometimes he does when albedo forgets it he already fed him or not. 

beidou also has a bird -- but a parrot! everyone calls him birdou but his actual name is short tom. beidou taught him how to steal rare gemstones from unsuspecting patrons and sometimes she gives him a shot of alcohol. he’s been okay so far

keqing fosters cats. she wants one of her own but she doesn’t think she can make the commitment, so she fosters them instead so they can go to longlasting homes. she falls in love with every single cat and cries when it’s time to give them up for adoption 

diluc has a german shepard that’s morbidly obese. he doesn’t know how she got to that state but she’s huge and dopey. she usually just lays in the fields, between the grape vines, and barks until diluc comes over to rub her belly

childe has two samoyeds that are nearly as tall as him. they shed like crazy and his partner goes insane because there’s always hair on everything. childe trains them to pull a sled and sometimes they just take off and he has to chase after them

thoma has a chow chow that he rescued when she was a puppy. he didn’t know what kind of dog it was at the time and was thoroughly surprised when this little puppy turned into a giant ball of fluff. she’s the sweetest thing in the world though

amber has a bunny! it’s light brown and roams her house like a cat or dog would. she dresses it up for holidays and has long, philosophical conversations with it. 

kaeya rescued a black cat with one eye. he thought it was super ironic and knew he needed to have this cat from the shelter. low and behold, they’re best friends

ningguang has one of those fugly chihuahuas that she brings everywhere in a purse. it’s the nastiest thing in the world and bites and growls and everything but ningguang thinks it’s an angel in disguise (barfs)

chongyun has a hamster. he carries it around in a hamster ball and talks to it like it’s a person. he tells this hamster all of his hopes and dreams 

#i'll probably make a part two since this was low effort #genshin x reader #genshin hcs #genshin x you #genshin impact #genshin #genshin writing #diluc x reader #childe x reader #beidou x reader #thoma x reader #kaeya x reader #amber x reader #ningguang x reader #zhongli x reader #albedo x reader #chongyun x reader #none of this is actually self insert oh well

[serenity-songbird]

A oneshot where the reader is friends with team stan and Kyle has a crush on her but Craig had taken a liking to her too so he starts small conversations with her and even invites her to the library for lunch dates?

(Oh, a jealous Kyle. Hell yeah!!! It may be long since I always go overboard with Kyle. Kyle Simpson unite!!! 🥳🥳🥳)

You and Kyle had started off as friends. So, as most stories go, it was no surprise to anyone when he fell for you. He fell for you hard. As most cliches, he was also afraid to admit his feelings for you. It was the same excuse: he didn't want to ruin his relationship with you. Cartman, of course, used this as an excuse to bully him relentlessly. Stan urged Kyle to tell you of his feelings. Kyle replied with a, "You have no right to talk when you can't admit your feelings to Wendy half of the time." Stan opens his mouth then closed it. "Touche." It didn't stop him from trying to force Kyle to say what was in his heart.

Then you started hanging out with Criag more. It was after the group had broken into the Freedom Pals and Coon and Friends. Tweek and Craig had also broken up. At first, he wasn't phased since he thought Craig was gay. Then it turned out he was a bisexual... that was proven once he saw you two holding hands in the hallway. You were pulling his hand and pointing in the direction you were going as Craig smiled softly. I repeat. He smiled. It may have been a small one, but it was there. He noticed that you both had been doing that a lot as of late. Then he would see you going out together. Whether it was to the movies, to a restaurant, or simply just walks in the park. You were always engrossed in your conversations. You had even had to cancel outings planned with Kyle. Or other times when he'd visit you on a whim, you would be busy with Craig. It wasn't a secret Kyle was in love with you. Everyone of the boys and even the girls knew it. They thought you had loved him to. So that's why it was so unexpected. Kyle snapped his pen in anger. And he wasn't the only one. As he watched them with a glare Tweek would stare with the same look. Due to Tweek's betrayal, Cartman could've cares less about his and Craig's relationship since they were now enemies. He didn't want them to hinder Coon and Friend's group. However, Cartman at least cared about Kyle enough to send Cupid Cartman to help out. This is where we are now. This same Cherub had just flown throw your window and down to your sprawled out figure on the bed. "Tee hee hee. This will make you finally realize your feelings for Kyle. You two are soulmates after all." He shot you with his arrow and patted your head. He then headed to Kyle's house. "Tee hee hee. Now let's get you the courage to finally tell her your feelings." He shot him as well. "There. Now I'm gonna pee in your mouth a little." Yeah. I don't need to explain him going that... You were one of the few people who never shit on Cartman so he didn't want to do you like that. Kyle however...well. You know. He then landed next to the still awake Cartman. "Did you do it Cupid Me? You think this will work?" "Tee hee hee. Of course. By tomorrow, they'll be head over heels in love. I also pet (Y/N)'s head and peed in Kyle's mouth." "Hahaha!!! Sweet." Cartman laughed and wiped a tear from his eye. "Yeah. I knew you'd like that...Sooo, love is in the air. How about some of that love spreading to us?" Cupid Cartman settled dangourousy close to Cartman's face. "No Cupid me. I've told you before that I am not gay. I may have agreed to go on a date with you last time with Tweek and Craig. But it will not end up like how it did last time." Cartman's response was straight to the point. "Awww. Come on. Didn't we have fun last time? You can't tell me you didn't like it..." Cupid Cartman's tone was suggestive. Cartman's eye twitched and he curtly turned away from the cherub and cover himself with the blanket. "No. I. Did. Not. Now I'm going to bed goodnight." Cupid Cartman simply sighed in defeat and left. Still, his determination was strong. But that Is a story for a different time. This story is about you and Kyle. The next day, everything seemed the same. You and Kyle hadn't hung out again today as you were preoccupied with Craig. Douchbag and the Coon and Friends in their civilian form were

plotting ways to make their hero team more popular. Kyle would clench his teeth now and again as he watched you laugh with Craig at the table for from them. The seat you usually sat next to Kyle empty. Cartman had grown antsy. Suddenly, Douchbag got up texting that he had to take care of a quest and he walked up to you and Craig. The boys looked with their eyes raised and your conversation was cut short as Douchbag handed Craig a note. Criag's face immediately turned sour as he read the note and promptly put in down in refusal. You picked up the note, read it, and enthusiastically nodded your head. It took some convincing, but Craig's face softened and he seemed to agree. Douchbag nodded, smiled at you, and left. You suddenly were upbeat. "What was that about?" Stan asked. "I don't know. Probably another stupid request that Douchbag accepted. Seriously, he needs to stop running around town accepting quests and focus on our fucking franchise." Cartman grumbled. Kyle didn't say anything and just watched you interact with his ally. Oh if looks could kill. It was afterschool. The teenagers decided to take a day off from superhero work today and Coon and Friends hung out together at Cartman's house. Douchbag and Craig were out doing, Gog know what and you were nowhere to be found. Much to Kyle's dismay. "Hey, K-Kyle. W-what do you want to w-watch?" Jimmy was nice enough to ask Kyle his opinion. "Nothing. I don't care." He just waved poor Jimmy off. "Come on Kyle, I know you're pissy about Craig dating (Y/N), but that's no excuse to take it out on us." Clyde replied. "Yeah, Kyle. Lighten up." Scott chipped in. "Nanana. I'm Scott Malcolm and I have diabetes." Kyle mimicked him. The others laughed and Scott made an angry face. "Seriously Kahl, why don't you just tell her how you feel? We're sick and fucking tired of your bitchy attitude. Man the fuck up and grow some balls." "Shut the fuck up, Cartman!!! You wouldn't understand. "Fine. You want to do this the hard way. We'll do it the hard way. We'll do it the hard way..." Cartman got up straight up smacked Kyle across the face. ... "CARTMAN!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!" Kyle just about lunged at Cartman and Clyde, Scott, and Jimmy had to hold him back. "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL (Y/N) YOU LOVE THEM, THEN FINE!!! WATCH THEM KYLE!!! WATCH AS YOU SLOWLY LOSE THEM MORE AND MORE UNTIL THEY GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS WITHOUT YOU!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!!! TO NOT EVER EVEN GET A CHANCE TO BE WITH THEM?!?!?!" Kyle stopped and blinked. He didn't want that. That would be awful. He should be the one to marry you. He wanted to have kids with you. "...N-no..." "Then what are you waiting for already?!?!?! Go win the heart of the person you love!!!" Kyle looked at Cartman is disbelief before his expression turned to determination. He hated to admit it, but Cartman was right. He needed to win tour heart. Fuck Craig. So he raced out the door to look for you. He asked around and someone said you were at Tweek's Coffee with Craig. Kyle thought it was weird that Craig went to Tweek's cafe. He was sure they were still fighting. But that didn't matter. What did matter was winning your heart. Kyle barged into Tweek's coffee shop and spotted you and Craig seated at the table with Tweek writing down your orders. You were literally glowing with happiness for some reason and his blood boiled. Douchbag was also with you guys for some reason but he didn't pay kind to it. He stomped over to your group and slammed his hands on the table loudly. You jumped in fright, Tweek screamed as he dropped the paper and pen, Douchbag stared with a blank face, and Craig's face was annoyed. The while cafe had now gone quiet and watched the group in question. "I have something important to say and you're gonna listen! It's been long overdue and I am finally going to say it!" His face was already bright red. In anger or embarrassment, was hard to be sure. "(Y/N), I'm in love with you!!!" Your eyes grew

wide and Douchbag gave a knowing look. Craig still didn't care and Tweek was still anxious. "I've always been in love with you! You're beautiful, funny, and the only person who's always had my back no matter what. Even when we disagreed on opinions! AND I THINK YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH CRAIG BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO AND I'LL TREAT YOU SO MUCH BETTER!!!" By the end of his confession his was huffing and puffing and his voice increased in volume and speed. He was clenching his fists and face with practically redder than his hair. Craig stared at him with a blank look and Tweek's turned from shocked to embarrassment. Because that's almost exactly how he reacted... "I'm not in love with (Y/N) at all, dumbass." Now douchebag was smirking and you were hiding a trembling smile being you small fist. "...What?" Kyle paused and stared at Craig before speaking in confusion. "Pfft" you spit out before laughing out loud, "hahaha!!!" Now Kyle was mad at you for laughing. "Why are you laughing?! I literally just poured out my feelings out for you!" You put a finger up and had been reduced to giggles. "I-I'm sorry. I-It's just-" you took a breath between your giggles. "Craig and I aren't dating. We never were." You wiped a tear. "What on Earth gave you that idea?" Now he was really embarrassed and finally noticed everyone's eyes on him. "Y-you're not? B-but I thought- you were always together and holding hands!" "Weeell...I thought the same thing too, buuut...when douchbag suggested to couple's councling it was revealed that (Y/N) was working with Craig to try and get us to work it out..." He scratched his red cheek in the same embarrassment. "If you had such strong feelings for me, why didn't you tell me?" You gave him a soft, patient smile behind your fist. Your own cheeks dusted a soft pink. "U-uh- w-well I just didn't, uh, want to, uh, r-ruin our friendship and-" The poor boy couldn't stop stuttering and could barely get his sentence together. So, you simply stood up and quieted his stutters with a sweet peck on his lips. Pulling away just enough to ghost your lips over his, you whispered his happiness. "I'm in love with you too, silly." Kyle blinked and stood frozen. You giggled knowingly and grabbed his hand. "Welp, my new boyfriend and I are going on our first date now." "B-boyfried? D-date?" You excitedly dragged Kyle to the door as he finally comprehended and smiled goofily. "See you guys later!!!" And out you went. For once, Kyle was glad Cartman was finally right. Outside, Stan, Kenny, and Cartman (in a temporary truce) watched behind the sidelines as you and Kyle held hands and he shyly pulled you into a deeper kiss. "Mmmph! Hmmph! (It's about time! That's my boy!)" Kenny nodded in approval. Cartman gave Cupid Cartman a high five. "Good work today, Cupid Me." "Tee hee. It's all in a day's work." "Dude who the fuck are you talking to?" Stan asked as him and Kenny looked at him like he was crazy. "No one!!! Shut the fuck up!"

~Fin~

#south park x reader #south park #kyle x reader #sp style #kyle broflovski #south park oneshot #minor angst #happy ending #craig x reader #craig tucker