#like fuck off dude this is a part time job i’m 19 and you’re literally 64
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oh i Have to quit this fucking job
#my post#my boss was so fucking rude to me today like taunting me in front of people#& everyone was like 😐 [boss name] don’t take it that serious we’re literally at [job]#so my coworkers knew he was being fucking weird#but i’m so pissed rn#the thing is i can deal w someone telling me i’m doing something wrong or telling me how to do something#i get if someone’s rude to me bc they’re stressed#& i’m fine w both#but this man was straight up fucking taunting me going ‘anything you’d like to say before you leave? any words of wisdom you want to share?#‘#like fuck off dude this is a part time job i’m 19 and you’re literally 64#idk i just don’t appreciate being taunted
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What Kind of Future
Chapter One
Things had been going well. Which felt surprising.
After the war and the seemingly endless strife that fell upon all of the students at UA (and the hero community at large) it felt like things were never going to settle back into any kind of normalcy. How could all the students just go back to school like nothing had changed? Like they hadn't taken place in history's largest battle. Like they hadn't lost so much.
But life has a way of surprising you, and it only took a year or so for all the students to get back to their version of normal.
Izuku was praised as a hero after the war. He was heralded as the next symbol of peace.
Kacchan had apologized.
All his friends made it through, somehow.
And now, he was doing things a normal 19 year old would do.
He was dating his childhood crush (turned childhood bully), he was part of the big 3 at UA. He was working for Might Towers as an intern. His dreams were all coming true.
The pain of the past would always linger, but they were all moving forward, forging their own story, making their own happiness.
Izuku found himself wandering towards the teachers lounge before leaving for his patrol shift. All Might had shown up during his afternoon classes and mentioned that he had something to urgently discuss with the young hero.
As he walked the halls making his way to where All Might waited, Izuku pulled his phone out from his pocket - his group chat would likely be available now, and it was the only time he would get to talk to them today given the time difference.
'America does it Better'
TheRealDeku: I've literally never been so tired in my life
At_Less: Go off
At_Less: It's 'cause you're in Japan. Everything there is so formal and garbage. You never let loose
xMindx: Preach
TheRealDeku: It's not that bad...........
TheRealDeku: Most of the time.
North_Aesthetic: When was the last time you did nothing?
North_Aesthetic: Just lit up a jay and went to spaaaaaaace
TheRealDeku: It's literally so illegal here Jess.
At_Less: See, I told you. Lame.
xMindx: ^
North_Aesthetic: ^
Poppin'Poppy: ^
SteelxxMagnolia: ^
TheRealDeku: I get it, really I do. And I mostly agree. But my life is here, yaknow? Japan is counting on me since the war. I don't know what else I can do
Poppin'Poppy: Do something for yourself without worrying about the whole of Japan babe. It really isn't your job to have the worries of an entire country on your shoulders before you've even graduated highschool.
xMindx: Honestly, the pressure Japan puts on its heroes to be perfect is sickening. None of us would ever make it out there.
At_Less: truth
North_Aesthetic: preach
Poppin'Poppy: accurate
SteelxxMagnolia: ^
TheRealDeku: That's not true! You guys are amazing heroes. You do so much good.
At_Less: Dude we literally smoke pot and drink constantly, are covered in tattoos and piercings, and are assholes to everyone.
xMindx: We don't have the pressure to be perfect here, if we did we would all be seen as villains or smth.
At_Less: If you need more proof, Look at how everyone views that hot headed boyfriend of yours.
TheRealDeku: Ah.. I guess that's true. But Kacchan isn't a bad guy, he just struggles to express himself..
xMindx: Keep telling yourself that sunshine..
At_Less: I'll never forgive him for the way he treated you man.
North_Aesthetic: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Poppin'Poppy: Fuck that guy specifically
TheRealDeku: He's better now!! I swear, when you guys meet him you'll see. It's different.. We've moved past all that.
At_Less: When I meet him I'm going to dick punch him regardless.
xMindx: ^
North_Aesthetic: ^
Poppin'Poppy: ^
SteelxxMagnolia: ^
Izuku sighs as he pushes his phone back into his pocket and opens the door to the teachers lounge. His friends from America had been around since he was a kid. They had remained close despite Izuku not having been back to America to see them in almost 10 years.
They were his respite when he was younger and going through the worst of his bullying with Bakugou. The letters they wrote back and forth, and the summers spent over-seas was the only escape Izuku had from the hell that was his life at home.
He couldn't really blame them for not getting over it. Not when they were the ones that had always been there to pick up the broken pieces Kacchan left behind.
But things are different now. Katsuki loved him. He had finally seen the error of his ways and apologized to Izuku.
His friends would come around eventually.
"Ah, Young Midoriya" the loud voice pulled Izuku out of his thoughts
Izuku smiled at his mentor, walking further into the room. "All Might, you mentioned that you wanted to talk about something?"
"Right! I had an interesting opportunity come across my desk, and I thought it may be something that would be beneficial for you"
"Oh?"
"Yes, I had one of my old colleagues reach out to me to ask about an exchange program you see" All Might gestured for Midoriya to sit down across from him as he pulled a file out of his satchel, "Only available to third years who show extreme promise"
Izuku took the packet of papers from All Mights hand and flipped open the first page
"They're looking to take on a student full time at their agency, as a full fledged hero. You would only attend class once a week like the majority of the third year Heroics students there, the remainder of your time would be spent doing hero work. It's much more intense than the internships here, it's a taste of the real thing"
"Wow! That sounds like an incredible opportunity"
"I think you should take it Young Midoriya"
Midoriya flipped to the last page of the packet, where the details regarding the agency were outlined and he felt his eyes widen in surprise, "Um, All Might -- This agency is ... in America?" Deku squeaked out.
"Yes. I know it's a big change, but I think it would be good for you" All Might rested his hand on Izuku's shoulder as he looked down, "I've given you the night off patrol to think it over. I know it's a big decision to make, you'll be leaving your friends and family behind for at least a year, with a possibility of extension if things go well. Go back to your room and think on it, I'll need your final decision tomorrow"
Izuku felt torn, he didn't want to let his mentor down by telling him no, but he also felt like he couldn't possibly leave. He had a life here, friends, family, Kacchan..
"O-ok All Might, I'll talk to you tomorrow then"
As Midoriya made his way through the school towards the dorms, his head was swimming with possibilities.
All Might had said it was offered to top students, so maybe he could get Kacchan to come too. That way he wouldn't be leaving everything behind when he left.
Or they could plan it out so that they visited each other as often as possible during the contracted period he was away..
He had to figure this out. He wanted to go - he wanted to be able to take this opportunity and thrive, All Might had come to him personally to offer this job, he shouldn't even be considering turning it down.
He had to talk to Kacchan. That was the only way to figure this out.
He checked the time on his watch 6:42pm Katsuki would be done training for the night and he didn't have patrol, so he would likely be back in his dorm room studying. Izuku was supposed to be working tonight, so he briefly wondered if he should just call Kacchan and let him know his shift was canceled and he was on his way over, but he knew the blonde's routine well enough to be fairly sure where to find him.
Izuku opened the door to the common room, noting only a few of his classmates scattered around. Ururaka's attention snapped to him as he walked past the couch, and she stumbled over the arm of the sofa to jump at him
"Hey Deku! I thought you were working tonight, why are you here?" she asked as she blocked his path to the stairs
Izuku scratched his neck, not sure how much he wanted to divulge to her before he got the chance to figure it out with his boyfriend, "Um, All Might gave me the night off, I have some important paperwork I need to look over and I need to talk to Kacchan before I can finish it"
Ururaka's face paled as he went to move around her and continue his trek towards the blonde's dorm
"I don't think he's back yet, why don't you text him and wait down here with us?"
"It's fine, I have a key, I'll just wait for him in his room" Izuku shrugged and continued on as Ururaka scrambled behind him
Jirou watched as Ururaka tried to pull Midoriya's arm back and force him towards where they were sitting on the couch, much to his dismay. She found the entire interaction weird as hell, and decided to step in to try and save him.
"Occhako, just leave it alone dude. It's his boyfriend, if he wants to wait for him in his room let him. Also, I'm like 80% sure I saw Bakugou upstairs like 20 minutes ago, so he's probably already in his room"
Ururaka's face went red as she struggled to find a reason to continue to deter Midoriya away from Bakugou's room, but after Jirou's comment, there was really nothing she could do. She deflated and sulked back over to the couch.
Shrugging off the weird behavior from his best friend, Izuku continued upstairs - his mind circling back to the issue at hand and how to solve it. He wondered if he should talk to Todoroki about it; he had always been able to help calm Midoriya down and give him honest feedback. He made a mental note to visit after he was done talking to Kacchan.
As he made it to the third floor, he felt a weird energy in the air. It made the hair on his arms stand up, and his pulse quicken. It almost felt like his danger sense, but it wasn't quite the same. He paused in the hallway to assess how he was feeling when he heard it.
A muffled sound, but one he knew better than any other.
It came again, slightly louder this time, and he willed it to not be what he thought.
He walked slowly towards Kacchans dorm door, his steps silent in the empty hallway. As he stopped just outside of the doorway, there was no denying where it was coming from. The moans were so familiar to him, but it was strange hearing them at a distance. He was always the one who caused Kacchan to make those desperate sounds. But here he was, standing outside the door, when Katsuki's moans were coming from inside.
Maybe he was alone and de-stressing. Yeah. That made sense. It had been a stressful week and he was just relieving some tension since he thought Izuku was working. Right. Yes. That is completely logical.
"Fuck, Bakugou" the rough and desperate moan sounded behind the door and all thoughts of redemption or explanation were tossed out the window.
That was not Katsuki.
Well it was - but he wasn't alone.
Izuku felt himself back into the wall across from the dorm door. Sinking down until his ass hit the ground. The papers he was holding dropped and scattered around him as he stared at the door.
His mind circled as he sat there, listening to his boyfriend in the throws of passion with someone else.
How could this happen? I tried so fucking hard. I tried so hard at everything. I took every shitty thing that happened to me in my entire life and smiled anyway. I gave my forgiveness to a man who had told me to fucking kill myself, I opened my heart up despite all of the pain, and this is my repayment? This is how the world pays me back for my eternal optimism and forgiveness? What an absolute joke.
The sound of bedsprings and moans echoed through the hallway, reaching a crescendo as Izuku stared at that fucking doorway. Shockingly, not a single tear passed his eyelids as he sat there.
Enough is enough. I am done. I am through being the optimistic nice guy who allows everyone to walk all over him. I am done forgiving and I am so done forgetting. This is the final straw.
The hallway went quiet as Bakugou and whoever finished.
Izuku waited.
He watched that fucking door until it opened, and as he saw the head that emerged it was almost like his heart broke twice.
Half red and half white hair came into view, his back toward Izuku as hands wrapped around his waist in the doorway.
"That fucking Deku won't be back for hours, you can just stay if you wanted" Bakugou's rough voice was low as his hands gripped Todoroki's waist. Neither boy noticed the audience in the hallway.
Izuku watched as Todoroki leaned forward and brushed a kiss against Katsuki's jaw, "We shouldn't risk it babe. I'm looking forward to this weekend though, I'm glad you were able to convince him that you're being called away for a mission"
"As if the fucking nerd would question anything I say, it wasn't hard to convince him" Bakugou punctuated his statement with another kiss to the other boy's lips as he opened the door wider.
It felt like slow motion as Todoroki turned around to leave and noticed Midoriya sitting there. His heterochromatic eyes widening as his breath caught in his throat.
"Mido--" Todoroki started but was cut off when a loud gasp echoed behind him
Bakugou's red eyes finally landed on Izuku. Who was sitting with a straight face, not a tear in sight as his gaze bore down on Bakugou.
#midoriyaizuku#bamf izuku midoriya#bakugou x midoriya#deku midoriya#midoriya x reader#midoriya x oc#lgbtq#cheating#betrayal#bakutodo
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CHAPTER 5. THE FLAYED. Sorry I just think that’s super dramatic.
1.) Why is that elevator so fast? The kids could have gotten this place shut down so fast just by going to OSHA.
2.) Erica and Dustin are worsties.
3.) They are so far underground. The logistics of getting that elevator built must have been a nightmare.
4.) The evil Russians can’t build elevators but they sure are good at building secret bases under houses.
5.) The subtitles have betrayed me and no longer translate Russian for me. Probably because Joyce and Hopper don’t speak Russian. So like it makes sense but I can still be annoyed because I’m nosy.
6.) Policeman have rules? Man, you really aren’t from around here, my dude.
7.) STOP SHOOTING A MACHINE GUN IN A CLOSED AREA, DIPSHIT.
8.) Joyce is bad at throwing but that Russian is worse at shooting. HOW MANY ROUNDS DID YOU SHOOT WITHOUT HITTING ANYTHING? And people say stormtroopers are bad, but they at least canonically weren’t actually trying to stop them. Pretty sure that dude actually was supposed to be stopping them.
9.) Nancy called Jonathan at 6 am to vague about Will being in danger, something no rational person would do, but it was done to be dramatic so they could cut to other characters.
10.) JOYCE AND HOPPER BICKERING IS SO BORING. SO FUCKING BORING.
11.) I love Max being sassy to Mike. Also excited for this to go from 4 groups to 3 groups.
12.) I missed part of Robin and Erica being sassy to each other because I was giving smooches to my cat on his widdle head. And now he’s cuddling with me. That’s not an update about the show but I feel it’s important.
13.) Steve stops the elevator door with a truly impressive move.
14.) Dustin got called roast beef.
15.) I don’t care about evil Russian guy who looks like if you ordered Arnold Scwarzenegger from Wish.
16.) OHH MY GODDDDDDDD. WHY DID THE DUFFERS HAVE JOYCE AND HOPPER BE SO INSUFFERABLE AROUND EACH OTHER THIS SEASON?
17.) I forgot that they carjack a guy named Todd and it is the Toddfather car.
18.) Steve figures out the potential upside down connection about the same time that Dustin does.
19.) I love that El just breaks into so many places.
20.) Their plan is to use an 80 year old woman like a tracking dog.
21.) I forgot they take Alexei to Murray.
22.) I love Joyce.
23.) I love Robin believing Erica about the comma room immediately while Dustin is like ‘that could be anything’.
24.) It is very funny that the only time Steve wins a fight is against a Russian soldier while in an adorable sailor outfit.
25.) Robin discovers the portal.
26.) I hate that they have Jonathan say he was 100% wrong. He kind of wasn’t wrong. The real enemy is capitalism, btw. The patriarchy too. That being said, “I’m a woman and I want to do this so you’re not allowed to be mad about losing a job you desperately need because your financial situation is completely different than mine” is not a feminist take, actually. Like Nancy has her own phone in her room. She has her own TV. Her mom is a stay at home mom. She doesn’t have to worry about how she’s going to pay for college or if she has connections for a job because she has both. She can even blow off a job in the summer before her her senior year because it’s not that important. Jonathan doesn’t have any of those luxuries.
Like yes, Nancy was right about this case and she was right to pursue it, but Jonathan wasn’t wrong to want to drop a case that looked like nonsense to keep a job he needed. Or at least not rock the boat with it. It was also just kind of naive that Nancy thought that there was an amount that would make a bunch of sexist men who saw her as a couple years away from being worth fucking to see her as a professional. There literally wasn’t. They didn’t ask for proof, they asked for her to shut he fuck up and get them coffee.
27.) I love Lucas being the one to notice a moment to actually talk to El. Dustin may think he’s the smartest child out of the boys, but it’s actually Lucas.
28.) I forgot that they get chased.
29.) The flirting going back and forth between carnage in the hospital while Nancy and Jonathan run for their lives is something.
30.) so many people get choked this season.
31.) Jonathan gets his ass beat this season.
32.) For every time that ugly man disrespects Nancy Drew, he owes me 20 dollars, so he owes me a lot.
33.) I think they just killed like 1/5 of the papers staff at least. Do either of them get to have a moment to reckon with the fact that they killed two human beings?
34.) The bodies melted into bad CGI that is STILL DISGUSTING.
35.) Have you heard of a meet cute and a meet ugly? Now in season 3 episode 5, you can see a meet disgusting where two blobs come together to form into a mini mind flayer.
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Oh hey!
A thing about John Winchester!!
Remember when Dean is sent back to save his Dad from joining the Scooby gang in s4e3 The Beginning.
Remember also how John is greeted by Townie #6 as Corporal and “good to have you back”?
Also, just putting this out here, but dear John was born in 1954.
Now, we all know how much SPN takes care to preserve continuity (script supervisor? Literally who is SHE???) but.
That makes John 19.
And sure, in Vietnam when you were drafted you served for 18-24 months (roughly). So theoretically John could have done his time and come home.
Except.
Except.
John Winchester was a Marine.
And the Marines? They didn’t take draftees. You had to volunteer for that shit. Which meant three years of service minimum.
Okay.
So now we know that.
Let me draw our attention back to John’s rank: that of Corporal. That’s the first Non-Commissioned Officer rank. Which means he led fire teams, was someone other people respected and listened to.
Typically it takes 26 months (today) to get promoted to corporal. Which... we’ve already established John didn’t serve that long. So either he got a battlefield promotion (discontinued after Vietnam but totally still in effect during) or he got it as a kind of honorary pat on the ass when he was discharged. Which... questionable.
See those medals and badges?
Let me tell you a bit about them.
First off we have our Rifle Expert. This means John was THE SHIT with a rifle. This is the highest marksman you can achieve wjth a rifle, and John was a marine- not to be all “this branch is better” (after all my grandfather was a Green Beret so fuck the Marines is what I’m saying) but the Marines in general are THE SHIT with rifles during Vietnam. So good job Johnnie.
Then we have this random friend- if any of you know what the fuck she is, please share.
Because MY research suggests that she’s some weird version of the Pathfinder Badge.
Which is a thing you get for completing ARMY Pathfinder School at Fort Benning (this is a big deal, it means you’re a badass who is cool to leap out of shit and save the day- think Sam Wilson but he was Air Force so just... paratrooper badass okay? Not as badass as Ranger School, okay? But like... more badass than basic.
So notice I said Army Pathfinder School.
It’s okay. You could be from any branch and complete that kind of training. Pathfinder school takes 3 weeks. So not a huge amount of time but. Let’s just keep that in mind.
Add that to the basic training for the USMC was 8 weeks (cut down from 11). Which together adds up to 11 weeks okay?
THEN AGAIN look what I found on ye olde Uncle Jeff’s website for sale.
Huh. Look at her. Not the same- literally I cannot find that enamel pin in the US military (and before you asked yeah I checked Canadian hardware but didn’t find a match either). But she exists and there’s no reason for Properties to make a fake enamel pin when they could run down the street to literally any military surplus store and get all the pins they need.
But if it IS this pin, okay so the Marine Pathfinders were- like the Army kind- the first in, last out kind. The scouted the territory.
That sounds fair and fine right?
Well the thing is, Marine Pathfinders were always part of Force Reconnaissance. Without going into too much detail... basically these dudes went in deep, found out all the shit needed to keep allies alive abs kill enemies dead and a lot of times did a lot of enemy dead actions themselves. They operated independently behind enemy lines.
Listen my dudes. Friends and foes.
John Winchester was 18/19, a Rifle Expert, a Corporal when he should have been a Private, a Pathfinder and in FORECON. I cannot stress enough... how mindblowingly scary this makes him?
This kind of scary.(if you haven’t seen Full Metal Jacket I cannot in good conscience recommend it. But if you want a character study of John Winchester you MUST watch that and Deer Hunter).
So now to those pretty pretty ribbons.
These are pretty standard but still worth explaining for anyone who hasn’t had to costume military period pieces before like I have.
First up we have our Bronze Medal.
So she’s been awarded since 44 (my dudes in no way is it appropriate to call them ladies- so of course I call them ladies). Given for engaging in action against a US enemy; engaged in military operations involving conflict with an opposing foreign force; serving with friendly forces engaged in an armed conflict against opposing forces when the US isn’t a belligerent.
Basically this means people shot at you and you shot back and no one can prove you shot the wrong people.
Look not to sound trite because it Is a medal and you DO earn that shit. 719,969 were given out during Vietnam (about 2.5 million soldiers served).
This means John was definitely in the combat zone and he definitely didn’t embarrass anyone.
Next up we have the Purple Heart.
(Scroll to the top to see her)
You get this when you are wounded or killed in combat.
Now we can ASSUME John didn’t die in combat- but please rec any fics you’ve got where he did.
I’m gonna skip that pretty maroon badge for just a minute now and go to the yellow dude: our Vietnam Service ribbon. I can’t add any more images so scroll back to the top to see it.
So yes, John served in Vietnam.
But
But
Now let’s look at that sexy maroon and blue ribbon okay?
Because this baby...
Well.
This is the Good Conduct Award
Do you know how you earn her in the Marine Corps?
“Three consecutive years of honorable and faithful service” are required to be eligible.
Which means Johnnie needs to be 21 (20 if he got in at 17) to earn this.
Unless
Of course
John Winchester was already pulling scams before the yellow-eyed demon ever came into the picture.
Anyone else have no difficulty imagining 16 John Winchester handing over fake papers to enlist in the Marines?
—
Then again... anyone else have no difficulty imagining the writers not actually thinking about it enough to do the math?
Either way, there’s some John Winchester stuff for you all to chew on.
Let me know what you think friends and foes!
#supernatural#SPN#winchesters#Winchester#john winchester#marines#usmc#Vietnam#meta#costumes#props#journal#john Winchester journal
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Y’all need to calm down. I didn’t even start my education until I was 26. I didn’t finish until I was 28. I spent the years of my life that I was in my physical peak (meaning health) having insane adventures with my friends across the country. You think your life is over when you’re 25, when in reality, that’s when your brain is fully developed and is the perfect time to settle down and decide what you want to do. You guys are too scared to live. Take a fucking chance once in a while, but especially when you’re young. I’m almost 30 now and I managed to get by without committing to any particular path at 18 or even 25. And I don’t feel like that time was wasted. I have regrets like everyone else but probably less than someone who got into debt at the age of 18 after feeling forced to choose a life path a year earlier. I understand it’s the dream some of us were sold, but for the next generation—don’t do that. For years the toughest choice I had to make was which states, cities, and towns I should visit/settle for the winter months, or whether to go east or west that day. I can’t promise you’ll be fine just meandering in whatever ways appeal to you for however long, I’m just telling you that I am. If you are still one of those people who believes your life is over at 25, why are you not spending your adult years up to that point having fun, exploring, experiencing new things, and LIVING?
This is a picture of me on a freight train and I think I was about 22 or 23. Super beautiful ride where I passed miles and miles of blossoming fruit trees and beehives. The train sided here and we got off and skipped rocks for a few minutes. I’m not saying that everyone needs to be a straight up vagabond like I was, but you can do anything. Anything you want! Work a seasonal job, save money, go to Thailand! Live cheap and travel! Work part time, live in some shitty apartment and write your novel, or join a band! Go to Europe and stay in hostels! Drive around and visit state and national parks with your dog! You can be a traveler, you can be a starving artist. In fact, that is the best age to do it, both to manage your own time, and because people look at you and see pure potential. No one is gonna be like “when are you gonna get yourself a husband” when you’re twenty. Have fun and stop wasting your time!
I snapped a few pics from my photo album just now to add. I never had a phone so all of my pics were taken on disposable cameras.
The black dog at the top is my dog JJ. I bought him for $20 from some crack heads in Florida when he was 8 weeks and I was 18. He’s turning 11 this year! I think he is happy that we have settled cause he’s a lazy boi. All of these pictures were taken before I turned 20. I was 19 and had already been all over the country, all the way west and all the way down to the keys. That “hobo family photo” drawing with the stick frame? People saw it, my friends saw it, and they knew I had been there. We left our tags, sometimes with the date or direction that we were going, so we could keep track of each other in a way. Sometimes we left cans of food, or a few beers. We had no phones, but we had notebooks, instruments, sometimes a CD player or cheap MP3 player. We carried little hammocks and tiny stoves sometimes. We had our sleeping bags and dog food and each other. I was constantly running into my friends without even planning on it, or making new friends with whatever kids I ran into if I vibed with them. I have known the guys in the Hawaiian shirts literally forever, happened to run into them in key west while they were trying to dress “in disguise” to blend in lol. We camped out on a beach in the middle keys for New Years, drinking and making tacos, swimming, waking up to seeing sharks and dolphins and stingrays swim by us. It was magical. Dude with the tequila bought his own home recently, and him and his gf rebuilt it, did the plumbing and electricity, and painted every single room to their own tastes. We might all look like bums in these pictures, but we are all in our late 20s-early 30s now and are literally fucking fine. I never felt like I was “behind” my friends. Most of them are not even doing as well as I am now, and the amount of life experience and people skills I made in even one year of my life living like this was worth more than five of them working a minimum wage job, or dropping out of college, or whatever. It was certainly hard sometimes, but it gave me confidence in myself and the ability to adapt to any situation.
Now go out and fucking live, kids!
#advice#mental health#mental illness#career#travel#starving artist#starvingartist#oogle#look at this fucking oogle#vagabond#dogs#puppies#hobo life#trains#freight trains#personal
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An Evening I Will Not Forget
There’s not enough Rudy fics on here so I wrote one myself. Who’s ready for a Rudy x High School Sweetheart piece?
Also can you tell I have a real lady boner for Dermot Kennedy? His lyrics are just pure poetry and this song just screamed “Alaska Rudy” to me. This one is based off An Evening I Will Not Forget by Dermot Kennedy. Every version of this song is beautiful but personal favorite is the NPR Tiny Desk rendition - you can listen to that here (I even fast forwarded it for you)
CHARACTERS: Rudy Pankow x (High School Sweetheart) Reader
WARNINGS: smut (at the very end so if it makes you uncomfy you can skip), angst, fluff, a bunch of curse words
LENGTH: 6.2k, I couldn’t stop ya’ll
An Evening I Will Not Forget
When love was found
I kept my hope just like I'd hoped to
Then sang to the sea for feelings deep blue
And coming down
And we've had problems that we've grown through
But I bet you dream of what you could do
“Rudy’s coming,” You don’t know why Ellen chose to tell you this while you were chopping limes for the inevitable tequila shots later. The knife almost slips right from your hand.
“I’m sorry what? I didn’t even know he was home.”
“Yeah, umm Steven picked him up from the airport and told him about tonight. He texted Derrick and asked if it was cool with you if he came.” Ellen’s tone is casual but you can tell she’s very excited. She’s always rooted for you and Rudy from day one.
“Well what did Derrick say?” You don’t bother looking up from your task, you’re afraid with how much your hands are shaking that you’ll cut a finger off if you look up.
“He said it was cool,” God if she wasn’t pregnant you could strangle her for that smirk on her face. “It’s cool right?”
“Does it matter what I say at this point?”
“Not really,” she says getting up from her stool to come kiss your cheek. “I love you, tonight is gonna be fun!”
“Yeah yeah yeah, now leave me alone before I cut you with this.”
“You would never do that to me or your future goddaughter,” she gasps heading out the back door.
Rudy is coming. Here. To your house. When you and Ellen planned this party the second quarantine was lifted, Rudy attending didn’t even cross your mind. Even though it was essentially serving as a high school reunion, you figured he was too busy being all famous in Hollywood to come home. Ever since Outer Banks came out he’d been the talk of the town, and even from your studio all the way in Manhattan you’d heard everything they were saying about him in Ketchikan.
You couldn’t even deny it, you’d watched Outer Banks half a dozen times by now. Once COVID-19 hit NYC you packed your bags and caught the first flight out to Alaska, knowing quarantining out here would be a lot easier than being stuck in the Big Apple on lockdown. With your parents stuck in Florida, you had the house to yourself. That meant no one could judge you as you watched it over and over again, crying pretty much every 30 seconds.
You weren’t crying out of sadness though, just the opposite. You were so fucking proud of Rudy. This was his dream, for as long as you could remember acting was his big “What if”. “What if I did it?” “What if I just tried?” Seeing his eyes as deep and as blue as the Alaskan sea on your TV felt like all of the “What if’s” were worth it. A small part of you was also very petty and happy that him leaving you wasn’t all for nothing.
Knowing he was about to be here, in your house, was starting to fill your chest with dread and anxiety. What if he doesn’t speak to you? Or even worse, what if he does? What if he brings a girl? God are you even ready for that.
You put the knife down and grip the counter with both hands. You’d always hoped you guys would find each other again some day but you weren’t prepared for today to be the day.
Deep breath, deep breath. It’s just Rudy. The blonde shaggy haired kid you’d known since kindergarten. Oh and also your first boyfriend, the guy who took your virginity and the only person you’ve ever truly loved. No big deal at all.
You’re both older, wiser. You’ve grown up. You’re real adults now. You have your own health insurance for Christ's sake. It’s just Rudy. Just Rudy. No big deal. No big deal at all.
Right?
At seventeen, I was alright
Was like nothing I could feel inside
And wishing you were here tonight is like holding on
But I still get to see your face, right?
And that's like nothing they can take, right?
So there won't be no feeling in the firelight
Hoping this'll be right
Time to show your worth, child
Rudy was glad you were inside and couldn’t see him panicking as he sat with Steven in the driveway.
“Dude why are you freaking out? It’s just Y/N.”
“I haven’t seen her in 4 years man, are you sure she evem wants me here?” Rudy was terrified of ambushing you at your house. He missed you like crazy but he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.
“Derrick said it was fine!” Steven argued back, just ready to get inside and get drinking.
“Wait you didn’t talk to her? Jesus fuck dude you know Derrick didn’t either. Fuck I’m so fucked.” Rudy wanted to see you so bad but now he was losing his mind. It’s been a long 4 years.
“Rudy if you don’t fucking get out of the truck I will bring her out here and have her do it. Just think about it, no matter what you get to see her! You get to look at her face in person instead of creepy stalking her on Instagram like we both know you do.”
“Fine fuck.”
As Rudy got out of his truck and climbed your driveway, a feeling of nostalgia came over him. This driveway - he used to sit in it every morning as he picked you up for school. You guys were late almost every day because you could never choose an outfit but he didn’t care.
When he approached the front porch more memories flooded his brain and it was starting to become painful. Right here on this porch is where he kissed you for the first time. He was only 15 when he planted one on you under the porch light, it was clumsy and awkward but still one of his favorite memories.
Walking behind Steven and through the front door, he felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. Everything in your house was still the same. The couch where you guys made love for the first time was still right there, pushed up against the living room wall. All of your guys’ prom pictures were still on the mantle with the rest of your family's memories. Except now displayed front and center was a new picture - you at your Columbia graduation.
Looking at the picture of you holding your degree, Rudy was so fucking proud of you. Getting out of Alaska and going to Columbia had always been your dream. You made it to the big city and you graduated, even getting your dream job right out of college.
While he was admiring your picture, he heard a noise come from the kitchen. And even though there were about 50 people you guys went to high school with packing this house, he could pick that sound out from anywhere.
Taking a deep breath, Rudy turned around to see you sharing a laugh with Steven. God you looked radiant. Your hair was longer than before, darker too. It looked like you finally dyed it like you had always talked about. And your body...wow. Your curves were beautiful, you were a woman now. And if Rudy didn’t deserve you 4 years ago he sure as shit didn’t now. How is it possible that you got more stunning?
Luckily, Rudy had managed to pick his jaw up from the ground by the time you finished hugging Steven and had made eye contact with him from across the open floor plan house.
He saw the way your chest stopped moving, almost as if you had stopped breathing. Good, he wasn’t the only one.
Once he made eye contact with you, his body took control. He couldn’t stop walking towards you even if he wanted to.
I remember when her heart broke over stubborn shit
That's no way to be living, kid
The angel of death is ruthless
Seeing him knocked the breath right out of your chest. It also brought that night back to the forefront of your brain. You’d drank enough, smoked enough, but it was still there - consuming your thoughts like the plague. That night before he left had torn you to be pieces.
4 years ago
“You won’t even try?” The tears running down your face matched the rain outside - just falling with no abandon. There was a storm coming and nothing could stop it.
“It’s not that simple,” he says, sounding exhausted. It's been a long night of just going back and forth over this, but you’re not giving up so easily.
“It is that simple Rudy, it is. You’ve just made a choice without me. You decided I couldn’t handle long distance. You decided it wouldn’t work. You didn’t even talk to me about it. You just made a choice for both of us and frankly that’s bullshit.”
“What are we supposed to do huh?” He’s yelling now, in the 4 years you’ve been dating you’ve definitely had your share of blowouts but you’ve never heard him be this stubborn, so unmovable. “We are literally moving to opposite ends of the country. Do you know how far it is from LA to New York? 2,798 miles. I have it fucking memorized because I sat there and looked at it until my eyes went numb. What other choice do we have?”
“You can try Rudy, you fucking try,” the tears have made their way into your throat and into your chest, making you sound as weak as you felt. “We call, we text, we skype, we send a goddamn carrier pigeon.”
You can tell he’s mad at you for making him laugh even in the middle of a fight because his chuckle dies quickly.
“It’s just not that easy. So what, we’re just going to live digitally? Never see each other? Never touch?”
“It’s a shame they don’t have a giant metal fucking box that can get you from point a to point b rather quickly. Maybe something in the sky? I think it’s called an airplane, have you heard of it? I’m pretty sure the Wright brothers...” You know the snark isn’t necessary but it’s been hours of going back and forth and you’re reaching your breaking point.
“Fucking stop!” Rudy yells, cutting you off, slamming his fist into the steering wheel. He’s reached his breaking point too. “I don’t want to do this but I am. We’re done...there’s just too many variables.”
“After 4 years, I’m just a variable? Loving me is just a piece of the equation you can get rid of to make your life easier?”
“Baby no, that’s not..” He starts but you cut him off.
“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Have fun in LA Rudy, I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.” You say climbing out of his truck and sprinting through the Alaska rain into your house. You’re glad it’s dark so he can’t see through the bay window as you collapse into a ball on the floor.
An hour later when you finally drag yourself off the floor and into your room you check your phone and see a message is waiting.
You open to see an image and a text. The image? A selfie of his chest, where the word “Columbia” is spelled out in bold blue letters on a hoodie.
Him: I will always be proud of you and I will always love you.
Your response is simple but second nature. You’ve responded to his “I love you’s” the same way for 4 years.
Her: Love you always
Now
That was the last time you spoke. 4 years later watching him walk up to you felt like a fever dream.
“Hey Y/N.” It’s weird hearing Rudy sound nervous, he was never nervous.
“Hi Rudy, you look good.” You hate yourself for saying it but it’s true. He does look really good.
“You look...wow. Can I give you a hug?” Is this where we’re at? Asking for permission to touch?
“I’d be mad if you didn’t.” You say with a smile and the sound of his laughter makes your heart soar but also it breaks just a little.
The second his arms wrap around you it feels like home again. You both lean into each other for probably a little too long before you finally decide to untangle yourself.
“Umm, did you see Derrick is here?” Good job Y/N, way to break the tension. Smooth.
“Oh, yeah awesome. I was hoping he would come.”
“Yeah, him and Ellen are in the back.”
“Wait are they together?” He says shocked to hear their names next to each other. Derrick had been in love with Ellen since the 3rd grade. Rudy always joked he loved you longer though.
“Yeah, they’re actually engaged. Ellen’s pregnant too.” That one makes Rudy’s jaw drop.
“Are we at the age of having kids already?” He says following you into the kitchen to grab a beer. You grab two Bud Light’s out of the fridge, cracking them open on the edge of the counter. Your eyes don’t miss the way Rudy shifts in his spot a little, sucking up a breath - he always thought it was hot that you could do that.
“Hell no,” you laugh. “I can’t even keep a cactus alive let alone a human baby.”
“Wait you killed a cactus? Y/N those literally survive in Death Valley. Death Valley.”
You don’t bother to look to see if he’s following you out the door into the backyard, you can still hear him laughing about your cactus.
“It happens Rudy, cacti are very difficult to manage okay!”
The smirks on Ellen and Derrick’s faces are obvious as they watch you and Rudy walk out the back door together and grab chairs next to each other at the bonfire. Ellen winks at you while Rudy leans over to bro shake Derrick. He doesn’t see her wink but he does see you giving her the finger.
“What’s that about?” He says looking at you with curious eyes.
“Don’t worry about it,” You reply, sticking your tongue out at Ellen making her giggle and rest her hands on her growing belly.
And I'm always thinking summertime with the bikes out
Pushing our luck, getting wiped out
Days with nothing but laughing loud
“Wait was that the first or second time you broke your wrist?” When Sarah asks that question you start to laugh, thinking about how many times Rudy has been injured.
“No that was number 3...I think?” Rudy responds, his eyes shine hearing you laugh at this conversation. He knows exactly how you feel about his accident prone-ness.
“How many times have you broken your wrist?”
“4” You and Rudy answer at the same, causing you both to laugh and another smirk to reach Ellen’s face.
“Seriously? What was the first time?”
Now you and Rudy are the ones smirking, thinking back to the first time he broke his wrist.
6 years ago
“Come on baby, just try.” Rudy was trying to get you to ride on the back of his dirt bike but it terrified you.
“I’m serious Rudy no,” You say, holding firm, keeping your arms crossed.
“I’ll go really slow, I promise.” He says from his spot leaned up against the bike. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you in between his legs.
“Would I ever let my favorite girl get hurt?” He asks, running kisses up and down your neck as your fingers make their way into his hair.
“No..” You stutter as his kisses on your neck get more aggressive. You know you’re going to have a mark tomorrow but you honestly don’t know if you care.
“Exactly my love. You’re always safe with me.” He punctuates that last word with a hard kiss to your lips and a slightly harder smack against your ass.
“Fine, fine but go slow okay.”
“I promise I will.”
Climbing onto the back of Rudy’s bike, you put on your helmet before wrapping your arms around his waist.
“Hold on tight okay?” Rudy says before putting his helmet on and starting the bike. You agree, wrapping your arms around his waist in an iron grip.
Rudy keeps his promise and goes slow, probably slower than he would’ve preferred, but his girl was on his bike so he didn’t care. He was happy.
After a couple of laps around his super large backyard, Rudy lets you off the bike first. But, as he goes to get off, the bike's muffler gets caught on the hem of his jeans and he falls over, the bike falling on top of him as he tries to catch himself with his hand.
You start to laugh before you hear him groaning in pain, running over you see him holding his wrist.
“Babe what the hell just happened?” You ask, pulling the bike off of him so he can sit up.
“Ahh fuck, I think I broke my wrist.” He was probably right on that conclusion, it was already bruising and beginning to swell.
Rudy doesn’t say much as you walk him to his truck, loading him into the passenger seat before you climb up into the driver's seat. After a few minutes of adjusting the seat (Rudy does have some pretty long legs) you head off to the ER.
Rudy doesn’t say much as you check in and find a seat in the waiting room. It’s pretty quiet in here so you hear Rudy’s small voice almost instantly.
“Hey babe,” He says from his spot leaning on your shoulder.
“Yeah honey?”
“If any of the guys ask, can you tell them I wiped out doing a sick trick?”
“Of course my love,” You say with a loud laugh, pressing a kiss into his hair as you wait for the nurse to call his name.
Now
“Wait, your pant leg got stuck? Dude you told me you were going like 60 and wiped out on a curve.”
“Oops,” You say with a smirk, pressing the beer to your lips as Rudy stutters to his friend. “I thought they knew.”
“Oh you little monster,” Rudy growls, getting up from his chair at the same time you start to run away.
You can’t see the smile on all your friends faces as Rudy chases you through the yard, grabbing you around the waist and picking you up. The sound of both of you laughing louder than ever fills the backyard. The dynamic duo was back together again and you don’t know who was happier - your friends or you.
Underneath my coat, won't you tap my shoulder, hold my hand?
Nights with nothing but dark in there
You could be my armour then
After the biking incident story, you and Rudy joined your friends again, sitting around the fire and sharing stories. And with every memory that came back, you found yourself moving closer and closer to Rudy until your chairs were right next to each other and your legs were in his lap.
His hands rubbed your calves through your leggings, remembering how much it soothed you. Meanwhile your hands were on his biceps, gripping his new (and bigger muscles) like you were afraid if you let go he would slip through your fingers again.
As the night got darker and the fire burned out, you all made your way closer to the house. Standing on the wrap around porch, Rudy leaned against the railing for only a brief second before he pulled you into his arms.
Being in Rudy’s arms again was like nothing ever changed. He was stronger, broader, his chest sturdier than before as it pressed against your back. But the way you felt was the same - like you were flying.
Standing there with your friends, Rudy wrapped around your back like armor, you felt untouchable.
“What’s going through that pretty head of yours?” He leans to whisper in your ear, you didn’t even notice your friends had been talking on the porch for ages, you zoned out the second he touched you though.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say with a smirk, looking up into his eyes. Did they get bluer somehow?
“I think you do.”
“It’s just chilly out here,” that was only a partial lie. It is very cold tonight but Rudy’s skin was lighting you on fire, you could never tell him though.
“Come here,” he says turning you around so you’re facing him. He wraps his arms around your back as yours circle around his back as well, tucking you into his jacket with your face against his chest.
As you snuggle in closer, your eyes close, just enjoying the moment. Rudy keeps talking to your friends but he keeps you pushed into his chest, refusing to let you move even just an inch.
They ask him about Hollywood, Outer Banks, if he has any celebrity numbers in his phone now. He’s trying to stay involved in the conversation but all he can think about is the feeling of your chest breathing against his, your skin touching his skin.
After a while all of your friends make their way inside but you and Rudy stay there on the porch, just pressed against each other.
It’s peaceful until..
“Hey bitches, SHOTS!” Hearing your high school friends rage inside brings you and Rudy out of your little bubble.
“Come on.” He whispers, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers - sneaking you past the open back door and around the porch to the front.
The second he grabs your hand you know where he’s taking you. The swinging bench your parents installed on the front porch had always been your guys’ sanctuary.
Before you and Rudy got settled into the swing, you snuck through the front door and grabbed a blanket and a bottle of wine.
“My girl is a genius,” Rudy says as you return. He really hopes you didn’t hear him because he can’t believe he just slipped up and called you ‘my girl’. Tonight has been going so great, of course he was going to fuck it up.
“I mean I did graduate top of my class from Columbia, didn’t you hear?” You say with a wink before getting settled in next to him. You did hear the ‘my girl’ comment and you’re doing everything you can to not let it tear you apart from the inside.
You weren’t his girl, not anymore.
Island smiles and cardigans
The nights that we've been drinking in
We're here to help you kill all of this hurt that you've been harboring
Confessions should be better planned
Alone, that night, I'm surely damned
Run away, I'll understand
The party is still raging inside but it’s quiet on your front porch. Just you and Rudy, cuddled up on the porch swing, talking about nothing while you pass a bottle of wine back and forth.
As you cuddle into the cardigan Rudy grabbed you from his truck, you look up to see him smiling as he looks out into the Alaskan wilderness. He must have sensed your eyes on him because then he looks down at you.
“What?” He says with a laugh.
“Nothing, just looking at you.” You laugh back.
As you stare at each other, the smile slowly wipes from his face.
“What? What’s wrong?” Now you’re terrified you did something wrong to mess this up. This was the happiest you’ve felt in years, you don’t want to lose it now.
“I just...I wanted to think this through more.” He says back with a whisper.
“Think what through?”
“How I was going to tell you that I never stopped loving you.” That one caught you off guard.
“I’m sorry what?”
“I still love you Y/N. I never stopped. The past 4 years all I’ve done is think about you. I tried calling you a thousand times but it said your number was disconnected.” He tried calling you?
“Yeah I had to get a new phone like 3 months after I made it to New York. I got drunk and lost it,” You say with a laugh, trying to break the tension. You have no idea what to make of this whole situation. Rudy had been trying to get in contact with you? Wait. No. That realization made you get out of the porch swing and start walking towards the front yard.
“Wait, where are you going?” Of course Rudy wasn’t going to just let you run away.
“You don’t get to do this Rudy, this is bullshit. This is so unfair.”
“Y/N, I don’t…” He tried to cut you off but you were too pissed off to stop talking.
“No Rudy, no. ‘I tried calling you’? It’s the year 2020 Rudy, if you wanted to reach me you could. You know my social media accounts. Steven, Derrick, Ellen - they all had my phone number. You could have asked any of them. You knew where my dorm was freshman year, you helped me pick it! You have my mom’s cell phone number for fucks sake. You don’t get to say you tried when you obviously didn’t.” You’re yelling at this point but you don’t even care anymore. Luckily you and Rudy were the only ones in the front yard.
“When I saw your number was disconnected I thought you did it because of me! I thought you were trying to move on.”
“Move on?” Yup, that one made you chuckle. “I never fucking moved on Rudy. It’s been you since kindergarten. How the hell was I supposed to move on?”
“So you never dated anyone else?” Rudy is honestly surprised you didn’t move on. You deserved to, you were a catch and he didn’t deserve you. How did another guy not swoop you up?
“I mean I dated - it’s not like I was celibate for the last 4 years. I had no issues getting men..or women for that matter. I mean it was college Rudy, I was getting it left and right..”
“Alright, alright I get it next point please.” You had to admit, seeing Rudy get angry when you talked about other people felt pretty good.
“My point is none of it was serious. It couldn’t be because you broke me. When you left me, I accepted that that was it for me. I tried to be in a relationship, a couple times but none of them compared to you.”
“Baby…” Hearing that word come out of Rudy’s made your heartbeat a thousand miles a minute. But it stopped completely when he grabbed your face with both of his hands.
“I can’t do this Rudy, you’re just going to leave me again.”
“I’m not baby. I’m not,” He says wiping the tears as they stream down your face. “I came back here for you. I saw you post on Instagram that you were home and I bought the first flight that I could. I knew I had to come back and fight for you.”
“I don’t know Rudy, I just don’t know.”
What's important is this evening I will not forget
Purple, blue, orange, red
These colors of feeling, give me love, I'll put my heart in it
And I think about it all the time
Lights went out, you were fine
You kinda struggle not to shine
By the time you and Rudy were done fighting the party had long died out. Everyone was either home or asleep in your basement, giving you and Rudy some privacy as you sat in your bedroom.
Rudy was being careful to give you space, sitting all the way across your bedroom on your bed while you sat in the window seat, just watching the sunrise.
“I forgot how gorgeous the sunrise is here,” Rudy said, finally breaking the silence.
“What? The sun doesn’t rise in LA?” You respond, still not taking your eyes off the horizon.
You hear the squeak of your bed as Rudy heaves himself off of it and makes his way over to you. He sits opposite you on the window seat, stretching his long legs out so they come all the way to your hip.
“It does but not like this.” He whispers, not wanting to ruin the peace of this moment. “You have to drive all the way out to the beach just to even be able to see the sun rise through all the smog. What about you? How are the sun rises in the Big Apple?”
“When you have a 5th floor walk up in downtown Manhattan you don’t get to see a lot of sunrises or sunsets for that matter. Sometimes though, you can see it reflect off the buildings like a giant, beautiful mirror.”
“Do you miss New York?”
“A little. I miss a lot of things more though.” You say with a sigh.
“Like what?” He asks, moving your sock covered feet into his lap. He can’t help but admire that even at 22 you still wear cartoon socks, he always thought it was adorable.
“Do I have to say it?” You say with a whisper. Maybe if you say it quietly enough he won’t hear you.
“I really wish you would.” He whispers back.
“I miss you, a lot.” He doesn’t know why you’re still whispering but even hearing you quietly say those words has made his heart go wild.
“But also, you broke me Rudy. You utterly and completely shattered me. I’m not the same girl that got out of that truck 4 years ago. When I moved to New York it was like a part of me was gone. It took a long time for me to feel normal again.”
“I get that, me too.”
“No Rudy, no you don’t get that,” You yell back. Getting up from the window seat you start pacing like you do every time you’re nervous, it helps your brain think. “Are you forgetting we still had each other on social media? I’m in New York crying my eyes out and I see you all over snapchat - sneaking into clubs in LA and going to rooftop parties. Do you know how much that hurts?”
“Y/N, I…” Rudy doesn’t know what to say. He didn’t think about how his partying would hurt you. He was just self medicating, trying to live the LA life and not think about how much he had royally fucked up.
“I’m not the same person anymore Rudy. And that’s because of you. And you don’t get to come back here and pretend like you didn’t destroy me.”
“I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen Y/N”. That one really knocked you off guard. As Rudy approached you and grabbed your face he got you to stop pacing.
“I don’t want to move backwards, I want to move forwards.” He said with a one hand grip on your chin, the other hand on your waist.
“I don’t understand…” Looking into Rudy’s eyes you can see the moisture swimming in the corners, making them look bluer than ever.
“I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t happen. It did, it’s part of our history. And honestly, if I could take it back I probably wouldn’t. Because you and I needed to grow up. We needed to experience the world outside of Ketchikan. We needed to be our own people without each other. And now that we’ve done that, we can come back together. For real.”
Turning around, too scared to keep looking Rudy in the eyes, you watch the sun fully peak above the horizon, filling the sky with some of the most beautiful colors you have ever seen. Hues of purple, orange, yellow, blue and red take over everything you see.
“It’s beautiful,” You whisper as Rudy’s arms find their way around your waist from behind.
“It really is, it’s the start of a new day.”
“A new day.” And with that realization that it is a new day, a new time - you turn around so fast that it catches Rudy off guard a little. Slamming your lips into his, Rudy catches up real quick. I mean come on, he’s only been dreaming about this moment for 4 fucking years.
Rudy let’s it all be under your control, your terms. He waits for you to walk him over to the bed and push him down, straddling him as your tongue relearns the taste of his mouth.
As you grind your hips into his, Rudy has to break away from your mouth to moan. You take that opportunity to run your lips down his jawline and to his neck, sucking a bruise into the area as your hands make their way under his shirt and start pushing it up.
“Baby baby baby, wait wait wait…” Rudy says out of breath, his pupils blown out as you make eye contact with him. All of a sudden you’re very self conscious.
“Wait...do you...do you not want this?” Rudy’s heart breaks at how nervous you sound.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I want this, of course I do…” He says running his hands through your hair. “I just want to make sure you do. I didn’t come here for this. So I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.”
He’s such a gentleman that it simultaneously pisses you off a little while also making you incredibly turned on.
“Rudy, let me put it this way…” You say, learning down to suck on his ear before whispering into it. “If you don’t make me cum right now, I’m more than happy to handle it myself.”
“Oh you little minx.”
I still love you, though
I still love you, though
I still love you always
So hold me when I'm home, keep the evenings long
Let's not crack and break and part ways
It’s for real, it’s for real.
Making love with Rudy was different now. Both of your bodies had changed and matured but that’s not what was different. The feelings, the emotions were stronger.
“Baby please,” he says with a whine as he hovers above you, still slowly thrusting into you like he wants this moment to last forever. “Please cum, please.”
“I’m so close, I’m right there.” Running your fingers down his back you know he’s going to have scratches tomorrow but you don’t care. You don’t care about anything other than the way he’s perfectly filling you up. You’ve been empty for so long that you never want this feeling to end.
“Look at me,” his voice is commanding now. You open your eyes just in time to see his hand snake down in between your bodies as his other keeps him propped up above you. “I love you. I love you so much. Cum for me baby, please. Cum for me.”
Between his begging, his perfect rhythm, and his fingers rubbing circles on your clit, you fall apart. Rudy isn’t far behind you as you feel his hips stutter and you’re filled with warmth.
Once you both finish riding out your orgasms he doesn’t pull out, you two stay connected as he collapses on top of you.
“Did you mean it?” You whisper combing your fingers through his hair.
“I’m literally still inside of you, do you really want to talk about this right now?” He says with a laugh, making you shake from the way your bodies are still connected.
“Well you could pull out.”
“We both know that’s not happening anytime soon,” There’s that classic Rudy smirk. “Of course I meant it. We said ‘always’ right?”
“Don’t do this to me Rudy,” You can feel the tears building in your eyes. God could anything be more embarrassing then crying in front of the boy you love while his cock is still in you? “Don’t say something you don’t mean”.
“I mean it, I’ve always meant it, I’ll always mean it,” He says, punctuating each part with a kiss on your face. You whine as he pulls out of you, the emptiness in your body and your heart growing again.
You expect him to get up and leave but instead he sits up against the headboard, pulling your naked body into his lap so you’re straddling him, nowhere to look but directly into the blue abyss.
“We’re older now. Smarter. You have money, I have money, we can fly to see each other every weekend if we have to. You can come stay with me on set and I can come stay with you in New York when I have breaks. We can do this, for real this time. Two adults, in love. I want to do this.”
You don’t know if it’s your previous orgasm or his words that knock the air out of your chest.
“For real?” You ask, pressing a kiss to his lips.
“For real.”
“I still love you” he whispers into your lips.
“I still love you always”.
TAGLIST: @tangledinsparkles @iamaunicorn4704 @devil-in-those-eyes @spilledtee
#rudy x reader#rudy pankow#jj outer banks#jj maybank#outer banks imagine#rudy pankow x you#obx imagine#jj imagine#rudy imagine#original writing#dermot kennedy#music#playlist#obx smut#smut#rudy pankow smut
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Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:
AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!
The Library Fairy:
-
Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)
Part A
1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library
2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)
3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat
4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)
5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are
6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk
7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag
8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera
9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’
10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’
11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it
12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with
13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’
14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’
15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff
16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other
17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point
18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face
19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone
20- they talk again for every subsequent night
21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything
22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess
23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic
24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her
25- she’s like ‘please’
26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her
26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him
28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’
29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one
29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)
30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘
31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’
32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal
33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’
34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program
35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes
36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation
37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE
38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’
39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her
40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’
.1- she and husband Talk
.2-they decide it best 2 go
.3-theyre Packing
.4-lil bab Ellie confused
.5-hawk attacke
.6-cut to Ross
41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break
43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey
43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened
44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and
45- he make tourniquet
46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point
47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him
48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically
49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up
50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3
51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human
52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while
53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*
54- the end kinda for now
Part 2
A- New Borrowers In The Building
—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped
B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly
C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human
D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it
E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”
F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid
G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”
H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”
I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”
J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”
K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand
L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”
M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”
N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.
O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit
P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)
Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise
R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’
S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself
T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’
U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly
V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.
Part 3
W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is
X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now
Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never
Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them
End 1:
-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff
Part C.5
55- few yrs later
56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff
57- he moves out
58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)
59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT
60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”
61- and she’s like “y tho”
62- and he’s like “bcos”
63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”
64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human
65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”
66- Tess: “told me what”
67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”
68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”
69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff
70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”
80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad
81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”
82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while
83- they eventually coax her out of hiding
84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”
85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big
86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”
87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”
88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting
89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all
Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.
#was gonna make this into a comic lawl#if I like actually manage to get off my ass over the coming weeks I probably will be able to do that! but yeah#also this was once posted b4 and I deleted it but it’s back now say hellow#Library Fairy#oc: Mira#oc: Ross#oc: Elliot#oc: Tess#oc: Val#oc: Alexei#anyway yeah here it is behold#the uhhhhh most slice of life thing I have ever created
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Tangled Salt Marathon - Beyond the Corona Walls Part 2
Part two is here, so let’s get on with the rest of the stupid shall we...
You can find part 1 here - https://rachelbethhines.tumblr.com/post/624977559380213760/tangled-salt-marathon-beyond-the-corona-walls
Summary: Rapunzel and the group return to Vardaros to find Eugene, only to learn about his engagement to Stalyan, leaving Rapunzel heartbroken and regretting her decision on rejecting Eugene's marriage proposal. However, after being encouraged by Cassandra, Rapunzel returns to Vardaros and stops the wedding between Eugene and Stalyan. Meanwhile, Adria gives Raps another piece of the scroll and an ominous hint to her future.
So Why is the Baron Still Operating If Both Raps and Eugene Know Who He Is?
Keep in mind this guy still has a house in Corona that they know about, he’s still a crime boss who’s criminal actions still affect their kingdom, and they both have the ear of the man who is in charge of running things and who has had a vested interest in cracking down on crime for the past 19 years. So why hasn’t Frederic gone after this dude? You can’t say it’s because he’s hiding out here, when he has a base of operations and living quarters in the kingdom itself. And if it’s because he has money, then that’s just further proof that Frederic is corrupt.
The Writers Undermine Themselves When They Try to Make Conflicts Lopsided
So the writers are trying to have their cake and eat it too in this episode. They want to make Stalyan just unlikeable enough so that the audience won’t hold Eugene accountable for his past actions, but not so unlikable that she’s irremediable later. Hence the excuse that the blackmail is her dad’s idea and that she still believes that Eugene is really in love with her and is just playing hard to get.
The problem is, by having Stalyan still aware of the situation and complacent in this plan instead of fighting against it, the audience isn’t inclined to see things her way and less inclined to give her a second chance when they try to pull her redemption later.
Moreover, this also undermines Eugene’s character arc as well, because him learning to be more responsible has to include acknowledgement of his past wrongs. Instead all he does is make excuses or look vaguely guilty over shit that’s only implied not stated. There’s no outright admittance of wrong nor apology for the way he treated her.
Staylan can’t be sympathetic later on if don't show things from her perspective in the now and Eugene can’t grow as a character if he doesn’t realize what he’s done wrong specifically.
Context Is Key
Yeah, that’s a lot of screenshots, I know, but you need to hear/read the line in full. Because there’s not enough context within the episode to make this line work.
What does ‘someone like you’ mean? What was his relationship with Stalyan like before the break up? When did the break up happen? Why did he leave her at the altar? Why is she still trying to be with him after such a thing? Why wouldn’t Stalyan believe him when he says he’s really in love with Raps? And why, oh why, are we going with this ‘marriage is a prison’ metaphor when the person saying it wants to get married herself? To the very person she’s saying ‘don't get married’ to, no less!
Now we get hints to answer some of those questions, but none of those hints are in the actual episode itself. Hence the main failing of the episode. That’s because the writers still don’t want to admit fault in their mains. Because, at the end of the day, for all of their talk about how ‘it’s not a kids show’, they can’t or won’t tackle actual mature topics like ‘relationships are hard and failed ones can be the fault of both parties or neither party’.
‘Contrived Misunderstanding’ Is Literally the Dumbest Plot Point Ever
Unless you are the Bard of Avon risen from the unholy grave himself, don’t fucking do this. Even then I still criticize Shakespeare heavily for bullcrap like this. It’s lazy and more over it’s not fun.
We already know what the ending outcome is going to be so there’s no tension to be had here. It’s just a cheap way to have conflict between the mains without having them actually address shit or grow as people. Instead of having believable conflicts where people have competing needs or desires, they just throw Stalyan in here to be a scapegoat; and then throw the Baron in here on top of that to be her scapegoat.
So Let’s Talk About Staylan’s Thought Process Here
Okay, if we’re to make any sense of Staylan’s actions here, we have to answer some of those above questions.
What does ‘someone like you’ mean? What was his relationship with Stalyan like before the break up?
We honestly don’t know what their relationship was like. We never see them before the break up, only afterwards, and that’s not a good indicator of anything really. All we know are five things;
Eugene wasn’t a very good person during his Flynn Rider days
He is hinted to be a former womanizer in both the movie and during certain points in season one (the threesome joke in TRoS comes most to mind)
He left Staylan at the altar instead of being the bigger person and breaking things off with her respectfully
He’s known Staylan since they were both teenagers (he’s had a crush on her since they were 15/16) and they’ve been in some sort of long term relationship for some undetermined amount of time
They use to pull jobs together, with Staylan sometimes goating him on, possibly taking charge most of the time.
That’s it. That’s all we got. You can’t really judge Stalyan based off that information alone. All we get from this is that she’s sometimes bossy and probably a little spoiled, but so is Rapunzel honestly, and neither of those things mean that they’re abusive on their own. If anything, knowing those things actually puts Eugene in more of a bad light, but he’s pulling the woobie card here; so you’re not meant to think about those things in the moment which is manipulative writing.
When did the break up happen? Why did he leave her at the altar?
Now here’s the million dollar question, because honestly the show doesn’t give us a consistent time frame of events and contradicts itself all the time. Some have argued that the break up happened eight years ago when the Baron screwed Eugene and Lance over during that robbery flashback in TRoS. Yet in Flynnpostor the Baron says that he had hired Eugene to steal the crown in the movie indicating that they were still working together all the way up until he met Rapunzel.
So which is it? Cause either answer drastically changes the context of his relationship with Staylan, their subsequent break up, and informs the motivation behind Stalyan’s words and actions.
Why is she still trying to be with him after such a thing? Why wouldn’t Stalyan believe him when he says he’s really in love with Raps?
Here’s what I think went down, and what I think the writers are trying to poorly imply here.
Eugene and Staylan had a tremulous on again/off again relationship for several years; where she’d be bratty and controlling and he’d cheat on her and/or leave, only, for whatever reason, to come crawling back and she’d ultimately ‘forgive’ him and they start at square one. The ‘leave her at the altar’ can’t be a one and done thing otherwise she wouldn’t be conditioned to take him back so readily, nor believe his relationship with Raps isn’t serious.
In fact, if we take ‘stealing the crown for the Baron’ thing at face value then it implies he stood Stalyan up just to be with Rapunzel. Which makes sense as no self respecting woman would wait around for 8 flipping years. One year is already pushing things as is, but if Eugene has a history of con artistry and cheating then, yeah, she could convince herself that Eugene is pulling a scam and still loves her instead.
To Staylan’s mind, she’s just trying to convince Eugene to give up his cushy life of royalty to live with her in a less comfortable but ultimately ‘truer’ way of life. She doesn’t see it as asking him to choose between her and Rapunzel cause she doesn’t see that what he has with Rapunzel as love. She thinks he’s faking it, like always. She thinks that ‘Eugene’ is his latest con and that Flynn Rider is his true identity.
And why, oh why, are we going with this ‘marriage is a prison’ metaphor when the person saying it wants to get married herself? To the very person she’s saying ‘don't get married’ to, no less!
Well the real reason is cause the writers have really messed up ideas about marriage, but the in universe reason is that Staylan sees ‘love’ as ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eugene, or ‘Flynn’, doesn’t have to pretend with her. She knows every awful thing about him, been hurt by him, and she still takes him back, and vise versa. Their on again/off again relationship has convinced her that putting up with mistreatment means that you must really love that person. She doesn’t understand that people can change and grow and that being in a healthy relationship requires both of those things.
That’s the only interpretation of their relationship that actually makes sense of Stalyan’s actions to my mind. Feel free to interpret it another way if you’d like, because we really have no clue. Just don’t try to pass off you’re interpretation as fact. And if you still see Staylan as the only person in the wrong here; I have to ask you to ask yourself why? Is it the manipulative writing, is it cause she’s not conventionally ‘nice’ like Rapunzel, or is just cause you see her as a threat to New Dream? Because holding her actually accountable for her actions is one thing, calling her ‘a child abuser’ (fandom’s words not mine) just cause she’s a bitchy and bitter ex is another thing entirely. (also they’re the same freaking age what the hell tumblr)
This Song Would Hold More Weight If They Gave Us an Actual Real Interpersonal Conflict
I’m just going to split ball a few ideas here, just to show what we potentially missed out on..
Stalyan is blissfuly unaware of the Baron’s plot, meaning Eugene now has to wrestle with admitting the truth of his past actions to her, along with keeping Lance safe, and trying to figure out a way to save his relationship with Rapunzel
There’s is no Baron involvement, Stalyan is his ex, but he comes to realize that they have more in common than he and Raps does. Meaning that the narrative has to actually address his and Rapunzel’s relationship issues; like their lack of communication and their seemingly conflicting life goals
Once again, no Baron involvement and Stalyan is his ex, but she’s just a victim Eugene screwed over when he was still Flynn Rider. She warns Rapunzel of what he use to be like and she has to confront the fact that she rushed into a relationship with someone she barely knows while he has to confront the fact that simply giving up his ways isn’t always enough and other people are still hurt by his actions
Dump the ‘ex’ plot altogether and have Rapunzel meet someone new instead. Have her question if a committed relationship is what she wants, and if Eugene really is the person for her. Address the fact that she has no experiences to in which to judge their relationship by.
What makes these options stronger is that there’s no clean cut bad guy (except for the Baron). There’s no right or wrong answer to the problem; no easy solution. The less sure an outcome the more tension you can add to the conflict, and these conflicts can go any number of ways; from a temporary break up to a reaffirmation of love.
That’s mature. That’s complex. That’s not reaching for the easy low hanging fruit. The creators seem to think thing dark, edgy, and shocking is ’deep’ but it’s actually quite shallow, especially when you constantly present one sided conflicts like today’s episode.
Your Name Literally Means ‘Lettuce’, Rapunzel
Unlike some fans, I don’t mind Rapunzel being jealous and hypocritical. As I said before, I like my heroines to have actual flaws. The problem is that the show goes out of its way to justify her bitchiness instead of calling it for what it is.
I Don’t Usually Bring Shipping Into These Reviews But,
Eugene and Lance have the healthiest relationship in the show. Like there is zero competition, here. Outside of a few ‘not-so-serious’ crack pairings, like Pete/Stan/Willow or Caine/Trevor, I don't really have any other ‘canon’ ships. I’m like 90% of the time shipping crossover pairings and 90% of those are Varian ships.
But this is still a flaw because it’s not intentional. The writers genuinely think that New Dream is a healthy romantic pairing and that Cass and Raps are a genuinely good friendship/sibling relationship, but they aren’t. And before you say anything, Casspunzel, isn’t the intent of the creators; regardless if you or some of the non-writing staff ship them. Like, it’s okay to ship them, but they aren’t intentionally written to be romantic any more than Lance and Eugene.
My point in bringing up all this up is this: A bunch of male writers only knew how to portray a male friendship well; not a female friendship, not a sister relationship, not a mother and child relationship, not a father and child relationship, not a gay romance, not even a het romance. That tells me that the creators on this show have an extremely limited world view. Which you need to expand upon if you have any inspirations as a creative writer.
You’ll Have an Ice Sculpture of Shorty at Your Wedding, Raps.
You don’t get to judge, woman.
I Usually Love the Art Direction on the Show, but, Not Gonna Lie, I’m Disappointed We Didn’t Get an Actual Wedding Dress for Stalyan
This is animated in what? Toonboom? Flash? Would it really have been that time consuming just to make a palette swap of her regular dress here? I mean you made a bunch of new character designs and gave Raps a new outfit just for this episode so clicking a few new swatches on an already existing model doesn’t sound that hard.
But yes, I’m nitpicking here. That’s cause I hate where all this is going, and I’m trying to put off the inevitable.
Deactivating the Rocks Was a Mistake
Like I said, making the rocks no longer a threat means that our heroine no longer has a reason for her quest. You’ve just ended your main conflict and now we’re going to have to sit through a whole season of watching the creators spin their wheels trying to find a new one. While also invalidating both the previous and future conflicts cause all she had to do was touch a rock and that’s it. That’s what this whole story amounts to.
Also you’re telling me that the main hero was just now willing to risk the life of a bunch of innocent bystanders just cause she be jelly?
Lack of Remorse Undermines Stalyan’s Future Appearances
If you want to pawn off the blackmail stuff onto her dad then you need to have her stand up to her dad on screen. Because we get no indication that she learns anything from these events in this episode, we have no reason to root for her redemption later. I mean she’s literally declaring revenge here.
Say it with me; It’s a lack of setup and resolve.
Nothing Is Resolved
Rapunzel tries to hold an honest conversation for once and Eugene just shuts her down. Yet, this is presented as a form of positive growth for him? The whole point of their relationship problems is their lack of communication and Rapunzel not being assertive about what she wants. But sure, let's have them still not communicate and have Eugene actively talk over her in order to drag out this plot point that doesn’t need to be dragged out.
Stop Treating Marriage as a Trap
Okay, first off, she was about to ask you to marry her, you dolt, so stop assuming. Second off, this a really bad lesson and the fact that Rapunzel now feels pressured to lie through her teeth about what she really wants contradicts this whole ‘Rapunzel needs to choose for herself thing’ the story’s got going on.
I want to make it clear that the writers threw in this ‘forced marriage’ plot not teach Eugene responsibility, you know the thing he actually needs to learn, but to teach him that ‘marriage is bad’. Even though respectfully asking the person you're already in a committed relationship with to marry you is not in any way, shape, or form the same as a bitchy ex blackmailing you into doing something you don’t wanna do.
Marriage is Not a Trap; Stop Treating It As Such.
Oh Look, Now It’s Eugene’s Turn To Have His Feeling Ignored
Yes, how dare Eugene have an opinion that different from Raps.
Remind me again which relationship was the toxic one?
‘Destiny’ Is Not a Reason
Like ‘destiny’ in a narrative sense means that there’s either an unavoidable consequence for not fulfilling it, a fate that can’t be avoid no matter how hard you try, or a prophecy to help show the characters what needs to be done. It’s a tool to create tension and foreshadowing. It’s not a goal in of itself. But the series never expands upon this ‘destiny’ stuff. It’s treated like an end all and be all for the characters actions, but that’s not how its supposed to work.
So, What Was the Point?
You’ll hear me ask this question a lot during season two. But for this episode specifically there’s barely anything worthwhile to the ongoing narrative here.
None of the mains learn anything, none of the side characters learn anything, the Baron and Stalyan wind up not adding anything to the overall narrative, and Vardaros and its inhabitants never come back into play after this season. So what was the point?
The only reason why I don’t recommend skipping the episode altogether is because of Adria’s introduction, the DK flashback, and the scroll pecice. But all of that is so divorced from the episode’s A plot that it might as well not have been here.You could have taken nearly all of Adria’s scenes and fitted them into another episode. Meaning, you could have easily cut all of Vardaros, the Baron, and Stalyan out of the show and it wouldn’t have made a difference to the story arc.
Conclusion
I’ll give the opening this much. It lets you know what your in for for the rest of season; lots of filler, a disconnected arc, and no Varian (or other main threat) to be seen. Ugh!
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immj2 16.11.20 lb
chanchal interrogating ishani, ki did riddhima spill about what happened that day. ishani like no dice, but imma beat it outta her so help me goddddd.
aryan coming throwing shit around. coz vansh has left everything in his will to dadi. thank fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk. none of you snakes are worth 5000 cr. i mean, ishani is, but idk, maybe not that whole amount at once.
ishani is like THANK THE LORD, VANSH HAD AT LEAST ONE WORKING BRAIN CELL. “kahin uss riddhima ko nominee banaa dete, toh humaare sar par chadhke tandav karti woh.” snort.
chanchal telling aryan ki “vansh ke baad saara business toh tuney hi sambhaalna haina”, and lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooo ishani’s face:
i honestly love her the most. MAKE HER THE NEW KING OF THIS EMPIREEEEEEEEEEE. SHE DESERVESSSSSSS IT.
ishani saunters off and chanchal is telling aryan ki anyway dadi ke haath laga hai sab, she’ll write it all to you; coz siya is in a coma, who knows when the fuck she’ll wake up, and ishani is walking talking TNT ka khaaaaan, that’ll blow up any second now. tujhe hi sab milna hai. lol bohut hi zyaada khushfehmi. can’t waitttttt for vihaan (whether he turns out to be vansh or not.......) to come show them thenga.
some parcel came outta nowhere for mummyji and it’s filled with all the stuff of her “long lost son who got kidnapped”. veryyyyyyyy conveniently opened by riddhima.
mummy has started filmfare nom-worthy performance on discovering the relics.
there’s a letter too! basically says i kidnapped your kid for money, but when you didn’t pay up, i threw him in a river. i’m confessing all this coz i’m now dying of cancer and want redemption. sounds to me like someone watched both ‘the prince of egypt’ and ‘badlapur’ in one day and did a mashup of those stories to write this letter.
watch out meryl, viola, jodie.......... mummy has gone beyond filmfare and is now doing OSCAR worthy performance about how she keeps losing kids.
lmao i am aryan, watching this nautanki:
mummy like it’s all coz i neverrrrrrrrrrrr accepted riddhima as a motherrrrrrrrrrr, mujhe maaaf kar dooooo.
of course riddhima’s dumb ass forgave her. god, this chick just tooo easy to scam.
someone’s come to say “final goodbye”. coz he’s taken a transfer. sure.
lmao riddhima is the biggest mood when dealing with an ex who just won’t leave you the fuck alone.
is it just me or has his hair become more........... vansh-y??? like, height-wise.
blah blah he wants to apologize to everyone........... for what exactly? he said he was just doing his job, why to say sorry for that??
lmao ishani has appeared and is ready to kick kabir’s ass. omfg i think this might be my new fav dynamic of this show, ishani v/s kabirrrrrrrrrrr.
RIDDHIMA DOING NOTHING TO STOP HER ALSO, LMAOOOOOO
whole family has appeared and he’s like sorry kehne aaya tha and all and THENNNNNNNNNNN....... NAZAR PADI ON THE TABLE FULL OF ARTIFACTS.
anupriya like don’t touch my son’s shit and........
“yeh sab mere hain!!!!!!!!!”
hahahahahahahhahahahaha ishani is truly my absolute favourite character of this show from now on.
“maaaaaaaaaaaa?????? iska matlab aap meri maa hain??????” lol bohut hi bhadddda actingggg.
riddhima agrees with ishani.
kabir narrates exact story mummy did like 5 min back.
he’s giving proof ki i know the collar of this uniform has a K behind it and everyone’s shockedddddddddd ki oh god yet another middle class orphan is gonna make their way here
wow the terrible acting from mummy and beta is just.......... peak today. i can’t take it.
my question is, kabir has come to this house and seen anupriya a million times before, it never clicked for him then????? anupriya looks to be baaaarely in her 40s, she wouldn’t have looked much different when she was younger. why didn’t he recognize her then. SOMEONE USE YOUR BRAIN AND ASK HIM THAT. ISHANI, ARYAN, SOMEONE?!!!?!?!
ok ishani didn’t ask that but she’s like that kid was thrown into a river, i’m pretty sure he’s dead. and kabir doing extra naatak ki yes, i was thrown into the river but a policewaala saved me and raised me and that’s why i’m police now.
ugh itnaaa sasta acting lol.
high time this pinky and the brain team up and take the rest of these fuckers downnnnnnnn.
lmao riddhima is soooooooooooooo angry rn. she didn’t even get this mad when her fucking husband paralysed her. that’s just how much petty hatred male exes deserve. the fact that that their bitch ass is even alive and wasting oxygen on the damn planet is fucking unacceptable.
OMFG MUMMY BETA ARE LEGIT WHISPERING INTO EACH OTHER’S EARS WHILE HUGGING, GIVING SHABAASHI ABOUT THIS BRILLIANT PLAN. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. SERIOUSLY, YOU COULDN’T WAIT TILL YOU WERE ALONE???????????????????/
“kamaaaaal ki acting, KAMAAAAL KI ACTING!” lmaoooooooooooo honestly, this show would be fucking unwatchable if not for vishal cheesing it up in every other scene and making it so damn hilarious. kabir played by anyone else would never be this likable. his dialogue delivery of these lines is just A+
lmao he’s hamming some more about how he’s been searching for his mom allllll his life and today he’s leaving the city and finally found her.
LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM HAS A FACE LIKE SOMETHING WITH 8+ LEGS CRAWLED ACROSS THEIR DINNER PLATE. IT’S SO HILARIOUSSSSSSSS.
he’s like mom, come with me, and she’s like “tum yehi ruk jao!” and omfggggggg the reactionsssssssssssss:
“ab yeh bhi yaheen rahega?????” alkjdsalkjdlaskjdlaskj chanchal’s no filter ways really come in handy sometimes.
kabir’s like no no mom will come with me. starts leading her out and dadi is like no anupriya is a part of this family and will not leave. and if you can live here in this house................... riddhima will decide that. lmao this should work out well.
kabir trying to jedi mind trick her.
even ishani is pleading in her mind, please riddhima no kehnaaaaa. aaaaaand....
“haan.” great.
big mood.
lmao booooooo, the amount of shit you get away with just coz you’re so stinkin’ cute. you’re exactly like my asshole cat son. just worming your way into my heart by the power of your adorable faces, you absolute bastardssssssss.
oh of course. she had this conversation with vansh, about if mummy ever found her son, he’d like to welcome him into this family as his brother. sentiment mein aakar haan keh diya. BITCH HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS GONNA TURN OUT TO BE YOUR EX WHO WAS HAATH DHOKE BEHIND HIS GODDAMN LIFE. IF HE DID, HE WOULDN’T HAVE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE PULLING THAT UGLYASS GOLDEN GUN ON HIM AND SHOOTING HIM BETWEEN THE EYES.
this is a sweet scene and all but dude how the fuck am i supposed to overlook the fucking ugly beetlejuice suit. if i never have to see this godforsaken garment ever again, it’d still be too soon.
also jesus, were you a goddamn kid just 10 years ago, COZ HOW ELSE THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A MINION WATERBOTTLE FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD?!!?!?!?!! OH GOD YOU GUYS, IS VANSH JUST 19 YEARS OLD OR SOME SHIT, AND THE BEARD AND THE VOICE THREW US OFF INTO THINKING HE’S 30?!?!?!?!?!!?! OH MY GOD, I FEEL LIKE A PEDO NOW. 28 IS MY LIMIT ON HOW YOUNG I’LL GO FOR WHEN I LUST AFTER SOMEONE.
anyway i’m fwding this scene so that my mind won’t dwell on these horrible possibilities. and that horrible fucking outfit.
lmao riddhima is like kaash tum yahaan hote, tum bhi yehi karte. snort, okaaaay sis.
“tumhari riddhima hoon main. aur hamesha wohi karoongi, jo agar tum hote toh karte.” ok everybody start monitoring your drinks from now on. pata nahi kab kya mila de yeh madam vansh 2.0.
ishani is, how you say................ LOSING IT.
ahahahahahahahahahaha aryan, who's going to town on the punching bag, is like i already picture him here, hence the vigorous mid-day cardio.
“mera toh mann kar raha hai ki main 2-4 jamaa ke aaoon. kabir ko nahi, uss riddhima ko!!!!!!!!” The Biggest Mood, Ever.
“pehle woh bhai ki tarah sochna toh seekh le?!?!?!?” bhai ki tarah chodo, pehle BAS SOCHNA HI SEEKH LE, WOHI BOHUT HAI.
ishani like i’m sureeeeeeeee kabir found out the story about mom’s missing son and now that vansh isn’t here, wormed his way into the house. PRESENTING TO YOU, THE ONLY ONE WITH A BRAIN IN THIS HOUSEEEEEEEEEEE. THE FACT THAT VANSH SLEPT ON HER AS A FUCKING PILLAR TO THIS HOUSE IS FUCKING RUDE.
“yeh sab kuch hua hai uss stuuuuupid riddhima ki wajah se!” that’s what they should call the show.
ew kabir is in riddhima’s room and getting all touchy and LIKE BACK THE FUCK OFF MAN. SERIOUSLY, YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED, NOW GO HANG OUT WITH YOUR MOM ALL DAY LONG, INSTEAD OF ACTING SKEEZY.
yeah riddhima pretty much told him that. threw in some more shit about how she’ll hate him till she dies, coz he’s the reason vansh died.
he doesn’t look happy about that. this fucker still wants herrrrrrr. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. kabir yaaaaaaaaaaaaar, you can do so much bettterrrrrrrrrrr. get yourself an hot evil shawty with 4+ brain cells dude!
she’s dragging him out. nice.
kabir still talking and she’s like do i literally have to kick your ass out?????? damn girl, there’s the spine i like to see.
askljdaslkjslkdjlaskdjlaskdj he’s like main bhi vansh jaisa hoon, iss ghar ka beta hoon. lmao good you said this in front of riddhima and not ishani, warna ***** phaad ke tumhare haath mein de deti.
riddhima also handing it to him, but verbally. but it’s lameass shit like no you’ll never be like vansh, not in 7 janam. like, ok i get she’s really mad at him for what happened, but i don’t get what’s this sudden hatred of his personality?????? she doesn’t know the whole truth and abhi se itni nafrat??? based on what?????
lmao he muttered “woh toh waqt hi batayega” as he was leaving and she’s like BITCH WHAT YOU SAY?!?!?!?!?!?!
hee hee hee hee. i loveeeeeee when he makes his exasperated faces.
some more sweet talk about how she’ll see his intentions aren’t bad at all, and she’s like justttttttttt gtfo my room man.
"kahin kabir ko yahaan rehne ki permission dekar kuch galat toh nahi kar diya???” LMAO YA THINK?????????????????????/
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaye. finally. aankhein taras gayi thi.
bro refusing more shady work coz “abhi mere paas chote-mote kaamon ke liye time nahi hai. kuch bada plan kar raha hoon.”
mmmmmmmmmmmm baby what that mouth do??????
“vansh ki body ka toh main antim-sanskaar main kar chuka hoon.” ohohohohohohohoho symbolism samajhhh rahe ho aap loggggg???? new identity, who disssssssss waala scene hai.
“riddhima vansh rai singhania, main aa rahaa hoon.”
oh aaja, aha aaja, aha aaajaa, ah ah aaaaja, ah aa aaaja, aha ha aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
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Maria watches friday night lights (#36)
5x13, the series finale i have heard nothing but good things about - I made it y’all! *wipes tear* this is a show i will definitely rewatch! It definitely feels like the kind of show that’s so layered that every time you go back you’ll pick up something new. I love shows like that.
i haven’t been on tumblr on my computer in a long time but im gonna go through and add “read more”s to all of these recaps!
(thanks to anyone who read these nonsense recaps! if you enjoyed these...in addition to my currently-on-hiatus riverdale podcast @bodysuitsforbughead, I have another teen drama-centered podcast in the works, follow @LeftyTeenDrama on Twitter and @leftistteendrama on Instagram to get updates when it launches! I’m taking a break on working on it till i move but it’s gonna be a big part of my 2021 projects. I’ve already recorded one episode with two of my favorite people in the world and it’s gonna be amazing. It will be about a variety of teen dramas, but FNL will definitely be included.)
and without further ado, my final FNL ramblings under the cut:
And we open with one last montage of shots around Dillon from a car, with a “Christmas in Texas” song playing. Amazing.
Oh wow, I love the “FIVE DAYS TILL THE CHAMPIONSHIP” vibe. The build-up is already here. A shot of Julie in the stands watching practice!
It’s super uncomfortable that people are talking to Vince about his “future teammates” on the Panthers before the post-season is even over. “I don’t really wanan talk about that. I want to talk about how the East Dillon Lions are gonna win State.” “Is that a promise?” These Texas sports journalists are WILD. this is a teenage boy whose school’s funding just got cut right before the biggest game of his life! Can we have some sympathy?!
“I hear they’re taking the cream of the crop for the Superteam so I’m gonna be honest with you, what are you gonna do?” EXCUSE ME SIR? I repeat, TEENAGE BOY. Tinker’s response of “you’re an asshole” and storming away was more than appropriate!!!
“No comment”ing his way out of there like a champ.
Ah, the age-old tradition of decorating a Christmas tree while arguing about a five-year football coach contract in Dillon or a dean of admissions job offer at a prestigious Philadelphia college. Julie’s just sitting there with Gracie like ooooh boy
“Here is where we put our tree, not Philadelphia! It’s a Texas tree.” OMG STOP IT. Lol Julie putting her hands over her ears.
YAY MATT SARACEN IS AT THE DOOOOORRRRR im so excited
Wow I did not expect this proposal to come that quickly into the episode! Like i knew it was coming in this episode but aw. They’re so soft! Just like, oh i’ve been thinking about you nonstop since our perfect Chicago tryst and oh look here’s grandma’s ring let me casually get down on one knee in the town where we fell in love. And after she was just talking about how much she misses Matt to Tyra the episode before? That “yes” she gave feels so certain because of it. Aw.
The grandma’s ring really fucks me up because you know how close Julie and Grandma Saracen have gotten over the years. My heart!
“Oh my God, your dad must’ve flipped.” “...What do you mean?” OH NO Eric Taylor is totally the type to care. “...When you asked him to marry me.” Oh I knew this proposal was too early in the episode, im dying!
“You need to go man to man.” Ugh Julie i liked Matt’s plan of just going and telling them much better. His look of fear when he repeats “man to man.” dead.
Wow no theme song??? That’s how you know it’s gonna be a long series finale!
Andddd here we are, a bickering Riggins “I may or may not be going to Alaska.” “Is it because you raw dogged Tyra last night?” i literally gasped.
LMAO Mindy trying to say Tim and Tyra are incest now that Mindy and Billy are married and then Tim and Billy immediately being like “nope, no blood lines, that’s not how incest works.” Someone should send that memo to all those anti bughead stans about bughead and falice
“What do you think about me taking Stevie for the day?” “I’m fine with that. There’s no going back, I’m going to get the bag.” LOL Mindy spoken like a true parent also YES to Tim and Stevie spending time together.
Poor Jess not realizing that asking Eric if she can follow him to the Panthers is a much bigger question than she thinks se’s asking.
AWW Tim and Stevie at Grandma Collette’s. How cute.
“Seven’s back in town?” “Yeah, he and Julie got engaged!”
Tim/Tyra and Matt/Julie double date?? Aw I love that Tyra knows that Matt and Julie got engaged. I really love Tyra and Julie’s friendship.
I’m laughing really hard at Matt’s speech to Eric trying to ask permission. This is so funny.
Eric’s like, “is this kid serious rn?”
Not to be that northern bitch but don’t kids get married at 18/19 all the fucking time in Texas?? I feel like it’s more common in even more rural parts of like...any state.
“The answer to your question is gonna be no today, it’s gonna be no tomorrow, and it’s gonna be no until the sun burns out.” LMAO wow i didn’t see this coming
“This was really just a courtesy, we were hoping for your blessing.” YES MATT.
OH BOY Eric did not just try to speak FOR his daughter, im not about it. “My daughter’s answer to you is ‘no.’” That’s some patriarchal shit right there.
“We’ll never know if we’re East Coast people if we don’t try it!” “We have a MUCH BIGGER problem.” Dude, it’s Matt Saracen, the softest boy who has loved your daughter for years, i actually think the fundamental decision of where you and Tami continue your future might be slightly more pressing.
“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me! I think we agree on this!” IM SCREAMINGGGG
Aw, Tami getting teary-eyed at Grandma Saracen’s ring. “It’s just, y’all are so young.” I know but this is a TV show universe so we let teen marriage slide for the right couples, ok.
Tami and Eric wanna take Matt and Julie to A CONVERSATION DINNER??? This is gonna be so funny.
Aw, Vince got his dad a ticket to state? “I want you to be there.” if this fucker doesn’t just come and shut his mouth
Oh wow Becky’s mom is finally coming back? And yay Becky’s finally over her Tim crush. “So friends?” “I say family.” AWWW MY HEART.
“You guys were our age when you got married.” ARE YOU SERIOUS? “It was a different time.” Y’all have no leg to stand on here.
“Marriage requires maturity.” Says the man who won’t let his wife take a huge job offer. What, who said that? (Okay the way Tami’s watching Eric give this speech about compromise, thinking she’s thinking the same thing.)
“You guys got married when you were my age, and how many times did you move? How many different things you’ve gone through and look how you’ve made it work. You guys are my inspiration.” AW. I wish my parents had a stable enough marriage to be able to say that LOL but nope.
OH NO poor Tami getting up from the table because she’s emotional! Because she’s clearly always thought of her marriage that way too but maybe not lately AH
Eric, babe, that’s your cue to follow.
Oh shit, Jess’s family is moving to Dallas? Well, damn.
Eric saw Vince not take a ticket for his dad and came to his watering hole to hand deliver it? “Young man gets a chance like that maybe once in a lifetime.” and mic drop, walk away.
Luke casuaklly meeting Becky’s mom for the first time while coming by to try to win Becky back. “I love you. I’m so sorry.” AWWW. growth!
YES cheers to Matt and Julie! “Here’s to Mr. and Mrs. Saracen.”
“Always thought you’d be the first person to say that.” AW
Yes halfway through college, go Tyra!
Awwww, Matt being like “let’s dance” and pulling Julie up. So cute. Yes, Tim asking Tyra to dance.
“I got plans.” “I don’t.” OMG is Tim saying he’ll just follow Tyra? Damn.
Why tf is Buddy calling Eric first thing in the morning to tell him about Buddy Jr.’s cast and “staying here el permanente” and GETTING HIM TO SIGN A CONTRACT BEFORE THE GAME? Y’all are shady as fuck!
I love that seeing the Braemore papers made him stop, tell Buddy off, and not make a decision in that moment. What’s gonna happen???
“I won’t be a part of your Superteam after all.” Hopefully Eric won’t be either! Aw Jess thanking him “for the greatest experience of his life.” “I think it’s been mine too.” AW.
Eric’s gonna give a coach in Dallas a good word for Jess? So beautiful. Yesss!
AW Julie and Matt decorating the Saracen Christmas tree, and Grandma trying to get Julie to wear her old wedding dress!
Emotional at this hug between Julie and Mrs. Saracen. “I love you.” “I love you too.”
Awww Vince finally being glad that Jess is part of the team...at the moment when it’s about to end.
Yess Tyra and Tim picnicking on the land?
And YES to Tyra going into politics, I could see it! “Along the lines of Mrs. T. Except bigger.” YES GURL.
“I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old.” AWWW that is so precious.
“I’m gonna build a house exactly where we’re sitting. I’m gonna get a job. And I’m never gonna do anything illegal for the rest of my life.” Oh, Tim. my heart!!!
“Maybe one day, our dreams can merge together.” THAT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. What more does one really want? Oh, these beautiful life-filled shots of them drinking beer on the land where Tim wants to build a house. Art!
Oh shit, Eric’s racing to get to Santa in time to be there with Tami and Gracie?! “You scared me half to death. What’s going on?”
“I turned the contract down. It’s your turn. I want to go to Philadelphia. Will you take me to Philadelphia with you, please?” YESSSSSSSSSSSSS what they deserve! What Tami deserves!!!! My heart!!!!
Ugh, the imagery as they get to State is amazing. The boys taking in the field, the players suited up praying and getting in the zone beforehand. The screaming in the stands waiting for them.
“You may never know how proud I am of you.” “You changed my life, coach.” AW.
Eric’s pre-game prayer overlaying the image of the Lions bursting out onto the field! Yes yes yes!
The way they slowed everything down with just music, and focused in on the faces of so many characters - Vince’s dad showing up, Eric and Tami saluting one another from stand to sideline, Becky cheering in the stands excitedly for Luke, Matt and Julie holding each other, Buddy on the sidelines screaming, Vince’s mom jumping up and down - just absolute perfection.
And we’re back in, with actual in-scene sound at 26-21 with 3 seconds left on the clock??? Jesus!
AH and every single character watching the football fly in the air, WOW the DRAMA.
Holy shit, they fast-forwarded to one of Eric’s players in Philly catching a football eight months later in Philly??? THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD. WOW.
Tami looks like such a badass strutting around campus!
YES Tinker is on the Panthers! Take that, bullying reporter!
Aw, the East Dillon Lions sign coming down. :( feels.
Nooo Luke don’t go to the military! Noooo I hate that. Poor Becky. They’re the exact type of couple who gets caught up in that really sad cycle - too poor to really have many other options, so the whole “free college when i get out!” thing starts to look really attractive. smh.
But i love how they used the championship ring he gave Becky as a way to signal that the East Dillon Lions did, indeed, win the state championship eight months earlier...and that Jess is wearing the ring on the sidelines of a new field where she’s working with the coaches! amazing!
Yay Matt and Julie live in Matt’s beautiful Chicago apartment? Perfection. They really look so good in that city together.
New beginnings in a new city together for both Tami and Eric AND Matt and Julie? I’m living! It’s what they deserve!
Tim and Billy building Tim’s house and drinking beers! “Texas forever.” “Texas forever.” MY HEART.
“Clear eyes, full hearts.” SILENCE. “Ah, we’ll deal with that later.” LOL
Yesss Tami coming out to meet Eric on the field!!!
“Ready to go home?” “Yeah, let’s go.”
And the lights go off on the field. End show. AMAZING. Truly, an epic series finale! An epic show! I will definitely rewatch and i am so glad i finally did! Thanks to anyone who gave a shit about my ramblings.
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2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020
1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it
I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.
2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o
the same !
3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k
One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me.
4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them
I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018
5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th
For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol.
6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition
That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol.
7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight
I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago.
8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol
Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit.
9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great
I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.
10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.
When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something
11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one
12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one
13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing
Just awkward and nothing to which I expected.
14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it
Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too
15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow
I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it.
16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness.
I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time
17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with
18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head
Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library.
19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now
When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.
20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol
One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish
21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.
Literally anyone on grindr.
22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck
Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so. IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot.
23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)
One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao
24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level
I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me.
25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds.
Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying.
26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV
I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.
27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>???
I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol
28:Talk about your fetishes. none
yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of.
29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward.
30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by
that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes
31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho
um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it.
32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot
My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :(
33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u
I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful.
34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life
I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.
35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away
I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes.
36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating
I would say idk eating was a stupid answer.
37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never
I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.
38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush
Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa
idk anything else
um Idk. i rly cant think
39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that
That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).
40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start
When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart.
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BnHA Vigilantes Chapters 59 - 65: Emergency Catch-Up Blog
before I start, please be advised that the following post will contain a potential MAJOR SPOILER FOR CHAPTER 253, which has not yet been released! please don’t be an idiot like me and spoil yourselves, guys. stay safe.
but anyways yes, this is my recap post for Those Chapters of Vigilantes. at long last. hooray! by the way this is barely edited at all, on account of it being a rush job (see re: the “Emergency” bit in the header). just some raw, unfiltered, [CENSORED SPOILER THING] thoughts and feelings! hopefully it’s readable; when I have more time I’ll try and clean it up a bit more.
so now, first off, credit where credit is due because omg
bless you anon, you saved my life
but let me backtrack! looool so guys, I did a dumb thing and peeked at a spoiler, and read the name “Shirakumo”, and was like FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK and noped out, but it was too late lol. so then I was like “HOW DO I CATCH UP ON THE ENTIRETY OF VIGILANTES IN LESS THAN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS”, fully aware that I probably wasn’t going to do shit and would most likely just spend tomorrow apologizing and shrugging my way through the new chapter. and by the way guys, I’ll go ahead and throw in one of those apologies now, because I’ve had at least a dozen anons implore me to pick up Vigilantes, and I’m fully aware that Aizawa’s past has been covered (including one (1) cloudy boi), and that it’s really good. I just haven’t had the energy to do it! because reading and liveblogging are two very different things, and the latter just takes so much more time and energy honestly. so I kept putting it off and off and off, and now here I am
but then this ask came along telling me exactly which chapters to read in order to get the context I need! so seriously anon, you are the MVP of my week, and I appreciate this so, so much. I am now off to read those chapters, and I apologize to everyone again, but while I will liveblog them, it’ll probably be kind of a rush job due to the circumstances. like I won’t get into every single detail here, because it’s six whole chapters. but I’ll do my best
hmm I don’t know what constitutes the second half of chapter 59 lol so here I am reading the whole damn thing
AIZAWA BEING FRIENDS WITH MIDNIGHT, AND MIDNIGHT HAS A CAT OH GOSH
looool
personally, Aizawa hated school. he would never ever dream of becoming a teacher. how ridiculous. irrational af
“we’ll have you teaching at U.A. soon enough” psssh. not this man, sister
he’s hanging up on her now. honestly I am glad I did not skip the first part of this chapter lol
some wolfman is chasing the protag of this series whose name I forgot, as well as a little girl and ANOTHER CAT. this series has so many cats?! apparently!?
Aizawa is saving the cat. the hero we deserve
the protag whose name I am about to look up wants to adopt the cat, which prompts Aizawa to launch into a 2500-word essay on why he should not adopt the cat
okay the kid’s name is Koichi. he’s apparently 19 in the series, but I don’t know how old he is in this particular scene though because I have the vague impression that the series at large takes place in present-day BnHA time, which would mean this is definitely a flashback. so. ??
OHO, NOW IT’S A FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK!!? so this is the Aizawa past thing everyone’s been all “!!!!” about. well here you go guys
young Shouta is staring at an abandoned kitty in a box in the rain
he left the cat, but also left his umbrella over it, awww
and he arrived at class all wet. and his teacher says he can go change his clothes, but he’s all “NAH I’M EMO SO I’LL JUST STAY LIKE THIS”, wow
“I’m powerless” jesus christ Shou get a grip
here comes Present Mic to forcibly lift his best bud’s spirits. they’re in second year apparently
Present Mic, and I mean this in the most loving and affectionate way possible, is the most annoying man on the planet
how was he not just constantly punched in the face at all times. like constantly walking around being punched by people
well well well
something horrible is sure going to happen to you, isn’t it? here I thought you were probably dead, but I’m kinda getting the inkling [SPOILERS, FOLKS, I’M SERIOUS] you’re gonna maybe show up in the latest chapter of the main series, so I guess not! congratulations I guess?? OR MAYBE NOT
“dammit Shirakumo” oh so it’s like that
their teacher deserves a raise. never thought we’d see another U.A. faculty member more done with life than Aizawa himself
hey Shirakumo is giving Shouta his umbrella back, but what about the cat?! SHIRAKUMO ARE YOU REALLY A NICE GUY, I’M NOT SURE YET
meanwhile he’s stripping naked in the middle of class. oh yes. I forgot Vigilantes was like this
he’s using his cloud quirk to censor himself where it counts
“and inside this cloud... is this charming little creature” lol we think he’s talking about his penis but then he pulls out the cat! WELL NEVER MIND THEN SHIRAKUMO
so Shouta is sitting around thinking emo thoughts that are gradually giving way to some decidedly un-hetero thoughts about Shirakumo, who’s doing that shounen thing where he smiles with his eyes closed while being silhouetted against the bright sun. maaaaan. Aizawa you are hella gay my dude
okay next chapter and they’re being assigned internships
Shirakumo’s hero costume is... well let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s got such a badass quirk
he’s riding around on that cloud like Goku. like a fucking Lakitu from Super Mario
now the teachers are talking about the three boys and whether they’ll be able to land internships
“Yamada shouldn’t have a problem. his voice quirk has applications in battle, rescue, and entertainment. but the boy’s a bit distractible.” okay first of all how the hell would Mic ever rescue a person with his quirk. fucking scream them to safety or what. and second, by distractible you mean punchable right. again, all the love
oh my god he’s so cute
lmao this is seriously my favorite picture of Aizawa ever. GO GETTEM SLUGGER
so Shouta is getting bullied by some guy with a decidedly Katsuki-ish quirk, except he shoots jets of fire out of his hands. but anyway he says that fighting Shouta is boring. SHUT UP, YOU. YOU’RE BORING
Shouta is so emo. but he really does want to be a good hero, he just doesn’t know how. he seems very frustrated
he’s lecturing Kumo on not giving people-food to the cat. and now he has picked up the cat and is cradling and bottle-feeding it like an infant. bless
this manga really has a gag panel of the cat pissing on Shirakumo afterwards, like. see this is another reason why I haven’t exactly been in a rush to read it sob. my sense of humor doesn’t really seem to align with Furuhashi’s
oH MY GOD
high school Midnight is the coolest person I have ever seen and I want to be just like her when I grow up
aaaaand she is literally not wearing any clothes except that belt and those boob-holsters. which, I mean, it’s not like she really dresses any differently in the main series, but this being Vigilantes, I’m sure we’ll get another half a dozen pages showing extreme close-ups of her costume from various angles. again, another area where this series and I don’t quite see eye to eye, but it’s all right since we’re just passing through here
and one year later they wrote a literal law limiting how much exposed skin a hero costume can show. oh Midnight. meanwhile I forgot how much this series makes me appreciate Horikoshi, flaws and all. I’ll take a thousand Minetas over this shit honestly. at least Mineta always gets his comeuppance. but anyway
they have named the cat “Sushi”
Midnight is straight up taking the cat lmao
Yamada got an internship. one down, two to go
Midnight’s back and showing them a video of the cat pooping. one joke about the cat’s bathroom habits in a single chapter was not enough, we’re going for two. not like we have anything more important to cover, like Aizawa getting an internship and something terrible and tragic happening to his boyfriend. let’s just keep talking about cat poop
okay here we go, Midnight says her boss will take them as interns
“Loud Cloud” lmao. home run hero name. GOAT
so Shouta’s chasing a villain and nearly got crushed by a safe that he threw at him, but he’s being saved by some guy who I’m guessing is his boss
oh my
this is the kind of weirdness that only a manga can get away with. I wonder how this idea came into being and whose idea it was, Horikoshi’s or Furuhashi’s. maybe the two of them hitting each other up back and forth in a text chain. “so I’m doing Aizawa’s flashback now, who do you want to have him to intern under?” “hmm I don’t know but I was thinking literally Prince”
Prince is chewing Shouta out something fierce
I thought I was prepared for these Aizawa flashbacks, but some things you can never be prepared for
lol he asked Shouta how he fucked up, and Shouta started listing all of his tactical errors, and Prince interrupted him and is all “I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT THAT GLOOMY FACE” listen son just who do you think your intern is. THAT’S JUST HIS FACE LEAVE HIM ALONE
he says Aizawa wears his stress all over his sleeve and bums people out
he’s telling him to smile! now where have we heard that philosophy before
hello
I’m just reblogging this panel because of reasons
so Shouta is sulking in the locker room, and Shirakumo is showering off and says his MO is to keep smiling even when he screws up
now Midnight is texting Shouta 500 cat pictures
lmao we can’t see Shouta’s face, but Kumo is streaking in and is all “THERE’S THAT SMILE, SUNSHINE!!!!”
OH SHIT NOW IT’S A FEW DAYS LATER AND THE VILLAIN IS BACK BUT THIS TIME SHOUTA DONE GOT HIM SOME GOGGLES!! the path from adorable to sexy begins. the Longbottoming
oh shit the goggles belong to Shirakumo. the gayening. and they were roommates
Shouta’s using his quirk!
and the bad guy is all “I don’t need my quirk to crush you” and straight up demolishing the fucking pavement yikes
and Kumo is leaping at him from above and whomping him on the head
yay they caught him. and Shouta is...
he’s trying. they’ll coax a real smile out of him yet! just show him a Youtube compilation of Logical Ruses
now he and Shirakumo have matching pairs of goggles. I’m just gonna assume this means they are married
the fire hands bully guy from earlier is coming over to start some shit again
he says he also realized the importance of eye protection through his internship. and Mic says he stole the idea from him
now the class is partnering off for two-on-two battle training, and Kumo is partnering with Shouta
they’re going up against Mic and Fire Hands, and for some reason they’re making a wager of it. whoever loses has to stop wearing glasses. this is easily the stupidest thing I have seen in this series yet, not to mention the most accurate
Kumo’s grinning at Shouta and saying the goggles symbolize their friendship and they have to defend them. you know, lovable scamp stuff
now Shirakumo and Shouta are double teaming the Fire Hands guy and taking him out in seconds because OF COURSE THEY DID. lol he never fucking stood a chance
but Shouta’s handing the glasses back and says that two-on-one isn’t fair so he’s calling the wager off
aaaand Fire Hands is snatching them back and stomping on them. and says he doesn’t need them
listen you dingus, yes you do fucking need them. and also he says he didn’t lose! wow this guy really has his head up his ass. I’d say he reminds me of a CERTAIN SOMEONE, but you know what, I’ll give Mr. Certain Someone his fair credit though, because he managed to get his shit together long before his second year. Fire Hands still needs to grow up
the teacher is telling him he missed the point of the exercise, and FH is literally ignoring him and running off wow
apparently Mic also gave up his sunglasses and got himself a pair of goggles. well we know that’s not gonna last. and for that matter, Shouta’s gonna change out his goggles for a different model as well. ohhhhh some tragedy is on the horizon I just know it, this is gonna hurt
Shirakumo says the three of them should start their own agency. ahhh. buddy I’m here reading this from the future, and I gotta tell you, son... shit’s awkward as fuck
and he’s pointing out all the different ways they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses
Shouta says he can’t do anything on his own, but Kumo says that just means he’s suited to teamwork
Kumo’s inviting Midnight to join them, but she’s declining lol
Shouta’s looking at the sky all dramatically. oh baby this is it isn’t it. things are about to get rough
“one week later”
NOO THEY HURT MY PRECIOUS PRINCE
SOMEONE IS CALLING FOR BACKUP AND THE CAMERA IS ZOOMING IN ON A BUSTED UP PAIR OF GOGGLES, FUCK EVERYTHING
now we’re cutting to Mic and Fire Hands and FH replaced his sunglasses with a pair of goggles. goggles are just the in thing now
Fire Hands talks about Aizawa so much I’m starting to ship the two of them now as well. damn Shouta how many high school boyfriends did you have??
so they’re fighting off some toad monster and it’s absorbing all their attacks
meanwhile Shouta and Kumo are literally helping kindergartners to cross the street
look at this
it’s beyond my comprehension how anyone could possibly mistake this man for anything but a future teacher
even Kumo is commenting on how natural he is at working with kids
oH MY GOD the kids waved goodbye and said “bye Eraserhead” and it prompted a little smile
Kumo says Shouta psychs himself out and convinces himself he can’t do stuff, but really he can do just about anything if he puts his mind to it. aww. and he’s right!!
oh shit here comes the toad
so this toad’s name is Garvey, and he’s literally wanted for murder oh shit. and he has a Fatgum-like quirk that can absorb attacks and store them up to release them
and some idiots hit him with a combined attack that ended up powering him the fuck up. well shit
so Prince is placing a rose in between his teeth and getting ready to fight this toad off. do it I believe in you
now a lot is happening all at once, jesus. Shouta and Kumo were trying to evacuate the kids but then the toad just appeared right there like wtf, and then Prince also showed up out of nowhere and went to hit the thing with a flying jump kick
aaaand he’s getting blasted into a building
oof. and getting even further blasted now. welp
Kumo’s protecting the kiddos with his Nimbus quirk!
OH FUCKING SHIT AND THEN HE GOT CRACKED IN THE HEAD BY A GIANT FALLING ROCK
um
is this bitch fucking dead now. I can’t believe they fucking Obitoed my bro Shirakumo
so now the toad is looming over them, and Shouta realizes he’s the only one left standing, and all his doubts are filtering into his mind as he desperately tries to think of how to stop him
and Shirakumo’s... gourd... thing... is klunking in out of nowhere, and it has a little speaker on it, and it’s all “YOU GOT THIS AIZAWA” and wtf. this is like something out of a weird fever dream
OH SHIT BOYS AIZAWA SHOUTA DONE GOT HIS GAME FACE ON NOW
THE LONGBOTTOMING CONTINUES
so now he’s leaping fifty feet into the air, somehow, and thinking that his Erasure quirk will at least level the playing field. well all right then! you go boy
now it’s raining and of course bolts of lightning are dramatically hitting the ground all around them
Shouta’s kicking off the lil power toad lumps one by one lol
literally just jumping all around and kickin’ stuff
oof he took a bad hit. but he’s sitting back up!
Kumo’s disembodied gourd voice keeps shouting encouragement at him though, idk. so there’s that
he says Shouta’s strong and he won’t lose, and Shouta is all “RAHHHHHHH.” you guys, if 1-A ever found out about this flashback they would never let the man live it down. hell I’m not gonna let him live it down. okay then. Mr. RAHHHHHH
he’s doing some weird stuff with his capture weapon now. I think maybe he grabbed a rock with it and chucked it at the guy
and now the guy is shooting all his toad lumps at Shouta all at once! WELL ALL RIGHT THEN
yooooo Shouta literally grabbed them all with the capture weapon and he’s CHUCKIN’ EM ALL INTO THE DUDE’S MOUTH Y’ALL THIS IS SOME REAL FUCKING SHIT LMAO GET WRECKED
so the guy is blowing up from the inside out. yeah that’s what you get for murdering Shouta’s childhood friend you piece of shit
and Shouta’s collapsing in exhaustion but happily shouting “SHIRAKUMO I DID IT” before he passes out. oh my god don’t tell me Kumo is already dead and Shouta just hallucinated his voice or some shit. THEN WHO WAS GOURD omg
oooooof here we go
[places both hands on Shouta’s shoulders and looks him dead in the eye] son I don’t know how to tell you this, but Shirakumo has been dead for twenty years
wow can someone just fucking tell Shouta already so he stops depressing everyone and making an idiot out of himself. geez how long are you all gonna stand around despondently shooting knowing looks at each other in the rain
so they’re picking up the gourd speaker thing and OF COURSE it’s visibly broken and there’s no possible way Kumo’s voice could have been coming out of it. especially since he has been dead for twenty years. here’s a picture of his grave. oh shit what’s that little grave right next to his?? OH MY GOD IT’S THE CAT. OH MY GOD
oh fuck me
Y’ALL REALLY DID THESE BABIES LIKE THAT. HORIKOSHI!! FURUHASHI!! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW I WANT A WORD!!
so now Fire Hands, who is trying his best to be comforting but is just SO BAD AT IT, is all “Aizawa you went toe to toe with this thing and beat it YOURSELF!! ALL ALONE!!!” jesus christ I need a minute
OH DAMN A CALLBACK TO THE RAIN “THIS KINDA FITS OUR VIBE RIGHT NOW” LINE but now it’s saaaaaaaad oh no
I mean. I knew going in that this was going to be Aizawa’s sad childhood flashback about his friend Shirakumo whom something very terrible happened to. it’s not like I’m even surprised. I knew what I was getting myself into here. but damn that still hurts
do you guys think that having a permanent image of his best friend forever immortalized as a cheerful seventeen-year-old, and being forever haunted by the memory of that seventeen-year-old being cut down in the prime of his life, might have given Aizawa Shouta lasting trauma which carried over into his adulthood and makes him do desperately reckless things when children are at risk, such as leaping into battle against an army of villains all alone. dammit now I want to grab every single problem child of 1-A and shake them roughly and scream at them for all the sleepless nights they have doubtless caused this man
so now here he and Mic are both being sad
aww Mic. I’m sorry I keep wanting to punch you in the face. it’s just reflex
and now it’s one year later and the class is gearing up for the sports festival
well look who is almost fully done with his metamorphosis
you will soon be a beautiful butterfly
he is literally going to sleep in the middle of class. well depression makes people tired. sigh
he’s got his familiar goggles now! and he’s kicking FH’s ass and lecturing him on how to fight better. damn his character development is complete
and he’s helping FH to his feet aww. definitely boyfriends. this man gets around
his teachers now say that Shouta has gotten too complacent, if anything, and phones everything in once he knows he’s got a passing grade, and only gets passionate when it comes to practical exercises
and now we’re cutting to the gym and Shouta is indeed training passionately while Mic sits in the corner looking bummed. all these kids have been through far too much in their young lives
Shouta’s handing in his career aspiration form, and he wrote that he wants to start his own agency and focus on “fighting, and nothing else”
his scruffy facial hair is already starting to come in now. it’s true what they say, having a tragic past does indeed make you hotter
anyways but can we get this boy a hug!? anybody?? hello??!?
now they’re graduating and Shouta is disappearing in a poof of smoke and now there’s this big panel with flashbacks to his career up to the current point in Vigilantes!
and we’re back in the ~present~ and he’s telling Koichi to take good care of that cat. aaaand, I guess that’s that. geez. that was a lot
so there you go! the Aizawa flashbacks! they were very sad! all in all I really enjoyed them! so now, if Shirakumo isn’t actually dead (seeing as it’s a shounen manga that pays homage to comic books, so safe to say that People Not Actually Being Dead is a Certified Phenomenon, like it’s definitely a THING THAT CAN SOMETIMES HAPPEN), well then. tomorrow’s chapter is sure going to be interesting to say the least. lulz but maybe I’ve got it all wrong though. guess I’ll find out!
#bnha 253#bnha vigilantes#aizawa shouta#yamada hizashi#shirakumo oboro#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha vigilantes spoilers#makeste reads bnha#makeste reads vigilantes#the real question is what the hell ever happened to this prince guy#I refuse to believe he just disappeared off the face of the earth#how is he not a top ten hero#probably because he got knocked out by the toad villain in like two seconds#and his sixteen-year-old intern had to save his fabulous behind#well hats off to a legend#wherever he is now
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Quick Thoughts on The White People Waambulance, Chapters 18 and 19
• Sorry this QT is coming out so late, guys. I regret to say my heart wasn't really in this one...and it hasn't been with regards to my QTs for a while. This one might be my last, unless we count me finishing them off for the (not rewritten) Book 1. It's been two years since I began, and the last two books made the process honestly really exhausting.
• I clubbed the two finale chapters together because I really couldn't be bothered to do separate ones for both.
• In fact...I won't be doing any of what I have been doing for my QTs so far. I'll be honest to you: I usually do multiple replays, the last few in tandem with the other routes on YouTube. I go through the scenes one by one. I keep note of differences and variations and carefully choose screenshots that will reflect the gist of the scenes.
But I couldn't be bothered to do any of that this time. I pressed the "continue" and then the "end book" buttons as soon as I finished my first run of those chapters. I'm drained, guys. And I don't think I'll be coming back to the TRH series at least, not even for Liam or Hana or Kiara. Maybe my mind will change by the time the second book comes out (update from present-day Lizzy: no it didn't) but I'm not counting on it. And you'll probably know why by the time this QT ends.
• TW: Discussions on racism, both fandom racism and from within the narrative. The last section of this QT is going to be...pretty heavy, guys.
There's also going to be a lot of anti-Drake, anti-Olivia, anti-Madeleine and anti-Penelope content here, so if you like any of those characters...well, you've been warned.
The ensuing post is going to be LONG, and I know a lot of you have good reasons not to deal with long posts, so here's a tldr:
1. The TRR writing team stick to their weird obsession for jobless whiny white men.
2. Read this book once and you'll feel like you're drowning in an ocean of white tears.
3. WOC continue to get scraps from the writing team, even as they boast of being diverse and inclusive. In fact, they're regularly treated as mere tokens, exotic eye-candy or non-entities, while their behaviour is measured on standards that are very different from their white counterparts (this happens in other books as well).
...okay I wasn't expecting for the tldr to be long too 😅
• Me @ my QTs then:
Me @ my QTs now:
• I'll probably be finishing off my TRR Book 1 QT series when I'm a little less burnt out, but for now this is where it ends, I guess.
• So...here is to summarize the last two chapters: Accident happens. LIs mad. Paparazzi sad (but largely get away scot-free). MC and baby safe. At the Council meeting Kiara slam dunks the murderer of Liam's mother with the style and elegance this fandom still refuses to acknowledge her for. The MC is nice to her for like half a second. Last Apple Ball. New clothes for everyone as if they had a Diwali bumper sale the week before or something. Godfrey is somehow responsible for the security (who thought this was a good idea) and seeing the Auvernese Royal Guard outside our doors is SO not-creepy.
We get to see if we impressed our Auvernese and Monterriso allies enough. Bradshaw compliments Kiara for like half a second. Olivia sees the dude from the Q&A session (Jin) at the Ball and (if you pay) you get to see her catch, interrogate and lowkey flirt with him.
Leona and Bianca make it to the ball (where is Bartie Sr. Where are Xinghai and Lorelei. Where is Regina) and this time the narrative makes sure to shoehorn a plot element into their presence here: Leona is there so we can do something about the reveal that she constantly ratted us out to the press for money. ("oh look! Walker Ranch was plot related after all! We have a reason (albeit a flimsy, paper-thin one) to set 9 whole chapters in Texas. Even though we had to literally come up with this bit in the last minute, because really - all we wanted to do as a writing team was nut collectively over Drake Walker")
(I also can't believe that between the time I wrote this line and the time this QT finally came out - they literally found a way to re-fucking-write Book 1 so they could nut collectively over Drake Walker earlier)
• Why were we required to dress down in Texas for these assholes when they couldn't even bother to dig up their Sunday best for this ball??? Oh right, they're Walkers. Hypocrisy runs in the family.
• Good thing is you can choose to banish Leona if you want. She's angry about it for a second then accepts it and leaves. But like what is the point of banishing her when she hardly even bothers to come there in the first place? She's not going to be bawling her eyeballs out saying "boohoo, they threw me out of this country that I spent like five minutes in and never even wanted to visit in the first place".
• Bianca is present at the end of Chapter 18 mainly to deliver to us a plot point at the very last minute: a clue about where we could find proof about Queen Eleanor's murder. Bianca mentions conversations Jackson had with her, and a secret room somewhere. Her leaving the palace and abandoning her children is addressed, and the MC gets to berate her. It's...short.
• Why this important piece of information was given to Bianca when idk LEO could have pitched in and spoken about it, no one knows. Oh wait. I keep forgetting. Bianca is Drake's mother. That's why.
• Okay so Amalas valiantly found out about Leona's involvement in this and gave us tangible proof via photographs. But we're kiiiinda forgetting that the scrutiny and privacy invasions were happening even before we hauled ass to Walker Ranch? Who was responsible for those? Who was the "source" that the Chapter 17 paparazzo was referring to, the one that mentioned they would triple the price for more photos of the Queen/Mother of the Heir (Coz like why would she do that. She's already broke)? How did Amalas come by this information so easily and why was she really that invested? Why is no one asking these questions? Why isn't the group asking these questions? Why are they stupid. Jesus, they're all so stupid. HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, SQUAD.
• Shortly after they get rid of Leona and Bianca, the rest of the group give the happy couple a choice of toys for the nursery - and that's our final nursery purchase. You can either go for the corgi - which is on brand for the series by now I think - or the lion, which is seen as very Cordonian.
• More party shenanigans. We're nice to Kiara for another half-second. Kiara arranges a photoshoot for us. The team can't pretend to give a fuck anymore about its fans so they will ask us to pay for an edit that I've seen millions of edit-creators in the fandom do wayyyy better. Like let's be honest - compare the engagement shoot pics (messy as they were) to the shoots we eventually got this book. You can see the difference. You can tell which one required more work.
• Anyway, if you choose this scene you wind up going back to the ballroom, dance with your spouse, aaaaand it's time for another diamond option. This time your spouse gives you something you've been craving (mousse parfait for the Liam MC, chocolate chip cookies for the Hana MC, handmade chocolates for the Maxwell MC and a choice between bacon and a veg version of it for the Drake MC. Damn, team TRR. Your favouritism is showing). The couple also writes a letter to the baby that the child can read growing up, in a bit of a parallel to Eleanor's letter to Liam that we see at the end of the chapter.
• After this, Liam reveals he has been pondering over what Bianca said, and wants to find out where they could find that secret room. Cue Liam's own flashback scene for free. Godfrey bringing to Queen the same goblet that the RoE MC found in a flea market in Book 2 for Regina (or perhaps just a similarish one). Liam and Eleanor reciting a rhyme that turns out to have clues for the secret room.
• To give the team credit, they seem to have (finally) put some thought into this. Like this actually feels like Liam's scene. Not one that delivers information about his family but is really about another character. They seem to incorporate all the things Eleanor seemed to be known for - things that were hardly addressed in the books when it came to talk of her. She is shown with a love for books given that books and poetry form an important part of the clues she leaves for Liam. One of the books is about foraging, which is unsurprising considering her love for gardens that was established in Book 1 of TRR.
• So...like...nice job but why was practically everything about Eleanor (including the way she'd stand up to Constantine, her displeasure at the sound of Godfrey and Bartie's names, her nature that Liam not only inherited but also learned) left only for your finale? Why no buildup? Why was I seeing you lot constantly pandering to Drake's family the entire time? Why do I know way, way more about Jackson than I do about Eleanor whose story this WAS? Why is she and her son suddenly getting this burst of attention at the tail end??
• They still manage to push young!Drake into a scene focusing on Liam and Eleanor, so we can see how Eleanor's teaching of how to be a responsible royal began to make inroads into Liam's way of thinking. It's the ultimate irony, that Liam took his mother's advice so much to heart that he lets Drake stay in his home, eat his food, and complain about those dastardly nobles to his heart's content for free.
Poor Eleanor in her grave is like
• Very fitting, how Constantine's proposal to Eleanor happens in the hedge maze, very much like Liam's first declaration of love in Book 1.
• If you're married to Liam, you get an extra letter that's addressed to Liam's future wife. She clearly knew her days were to be numbered by the time she gave birth to that second child at least.
• Lmao @ how the team somehow managed to remember that Eleanor would have been Leo's stepmother too. He's mentioned a couple of times. They didn't have enough time to develop a sprite for young!Leo but somehow had all the time and resources to make one for young!Savannah who had literally no purpose in Drake's flashback scene? Hmm. Hmm.
• They somehow manage to find the twin to the RoE MC's gifted goblet that Godfrey gave Eleanor the night she died, and Liam reveals that he's been obsessed with poisons enough to know that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned, it was the cup itself. Everyone is shook.
• Love that extra little detail about Liam's obsession with learning about poisons and how it's a sign of how deeply Eleanor's death affected him. But tell me honestly if you remember this plot point coming up even once before in any significant way. Even during the one time a person is poisoned in the previous book (by the laws of karma, the victim in this instance is Godfrey's only daughter) Liam shows very few signs of this "obsession". At a time when he has also lost a father. Convenient how something that could have added more depth to Liam is kept aside until there's a scene where his knowledge is required. Convenient indeed.
• I kind of understand why Liam acts on impulse, okay. The man just discovered who murdered his mum, at least some amount of irrationality is allowed (esp considering he hardly got to express ANYTHING when his goddamn father died). But you'd think Liam's friends would hold him back and help him think this through? Convince him that there are more effective ways to confront and get a confession out of Godfrey who after is in charge of security at the moment? You seriously think charging into the ballroom and suddenly stripping this man of his titles is going to actually work??? You couldn't figure out how to make him vulnerable instead so that he wouldn't be able to escape???
• I mean like, sure, one could always rationalize it all as "well see Lizzy, they needed a dramatic end to this story and they needed to wrap this mystery up quick". But there were other ways they could have spread it out than make it all sound so...so random. And you bet we all know why the narrative had to scramble around last minute to solve this. It's because we spend half the damn book in a dilapidated ranch with a shit family!
• Anyway, Godfrey escapes...and the MC tells her spouse that she's going into labour after...two contractions? Um. Okay.
• So. That ends Book 1 of this new series. And with it my QTs, for this series at least. My QTs for Book 1 (the OG, not the rewrite) might continue, but I'd need to repeat my failplay again because I lost most of those screenshots 😭
General Thoughts on the Book:
• So far, this is what I can see as happening in the next book:
- The birth, obviously
- Any extra perks from our purchases (ie. the nursery and the garden)
- Subplots involving the LIs' conflicts regarding parenthood and their own childhoods
- The mystery behind Eleanor's death isn't quite over yet, nor is the truth behind the constant paparazzi presence in TRH. Leona was the scapegoat this time around, but how did Amalas get all this information so quickly?
- Where is Eleanor's other child? Olivia's investigations may or may not lead to that answer. I'm pretty sure Jin might be involved as well.
- Another possibility is that Madeleine may give us important information since she was potentially aware that Eleanor was pregnant at the time.
- The mystery behind Jackson's death and what he knew regarding Eleanor's condition.
- What part did Bartie Sr have to play in all this? How involved was Constantine in the murder (if in fact he was)? What more dark secrets will we learn about Constantine, Godfrey and Bartie Sr during this time? What ultimately caused the breakdown in Constantine and Jackson's relationship, since Drake mentions Jackson being around when Regina was Queen as well?
- Speaking of Regina, how involved was she in any of this? We know she was Godfrey's cousin-in-law and Bartie Sr made a comment on her during the announcement about the heir, and that she married Constantine a couple years after Eleanor's death, but was she aware of any of this or was she largely out of the major plot and brought in later to cement Godfrey's position and power?
- I'd mention the possibility that Lorelai could know something, but they didn't really give anyone connected to Hana any time at all, so I have my doubts.
- Operation Swan, and possibly a visit to Monterisso. Liam's younger sibling must be in one of these places but my guess is on Monterisso.
- I'm guessing the team will write a nice wedding for Penelope and Ezekiel next book, while Kiara continues to get scraps from the same team.
- Drake and Olivia will continue to eat into the plot. Madeleine will join this unholy trinity as well because they've set the stage for her to have plenty of angst.
With that over, these were my thoughts once this book was finished:
WHERE ARE THE DUCHESSES?
Remember how, back in Book 3, we all marvelled at the number of women in this country who were in positions of power? Adeleide and Emmeline were powerful duchesses while their husbands were secondary figures, and Joelle though married into a noble family is an influential artist and - according to Liam - the embodiment of King Fabian's values. It seemed like, despite the underlying sexism and racism in the story, women were at least at the forefront of Cordonian politics.
This is virtually gone in TRH1. Godfrey (who wasn't even interested in Krona in the first place, much less Cordonia) and Landon (whose only concern seemed to be Penelope, leaving Emmeline to manage the duchy) have a seat in the Council. In fact we never even see either of these woman in the book. I can maybe understand the logic behind not appointing Adeleide, but the fact that Emmeline is passed over for her far-less -qualified husband is a mystery to me!
Also, has anyone noticed how white-male-centered the whole Eleanor story is? Notice how we never see Eleanor's friends, besides Jackson? We never see any of the courtly ladies of that era? She's the Queen. She'd have her own court. I find it impossible that Eleanor would have no interactions of importance among her own goddamned court, that Joelle, Emmeline or Adeleide wouldn't even be mentioned in her story thus far. It's fascinating that forget being part of her story - these women are largely forgotten in the book itself.
(Note: It's also important to add that none of Kiara's family - besides Zeke - makes an appearance this book. At all. One member of Penelope's family and one member of Madeleine's family is in the council, but we never really see or hear anything from Kiara's, even though Hakim was Constantine's old friend and Joelle could have easily been connected to Eleanor, given that Eleanor was exactly the kind of ruler Joelle would have loved and respected.
While we're on that subject, Lorelai could have been connected to Eleanor as well - considering that we know next to nothing about her years in Shanghai. There were ways Hana's story could have been tied into the overall plot as well that were largely ignored. The fact that both the main and secondary WOCs presented opportunities for better plot and story, and despite that they were largely ignored in the books...I think that says a lot. But I will get into more of that in detail in a different section).
LI SPACE AND STORY
• Now...as we all know, The TRR/TRH series is primarily a romance-focused book first, with an underlying plot about royalty and politics. So it makes sense to evaluate the book based on what it gives its love interests. That includes the number of scenes they get, and the kind of focus their story is given. So...here's the rundown of how that goes in TRH Book 1:
Liam: Overall, not too bad. He gets one individual scene, a free and paywalled childhood scene (though the free one is essential for the group's realization of who killed Eleanor). The letter his mother writes to Liam includes an extra section towards the end, meant for the MC who marries him. However, we must note that a lot of this "attention" was thrust into the very final chapter of this book, and 99% of the same book didn't exactly make an attempt to explore his inner thoughts on anything - his mother's death, the dealings with the foreign countries, his political activities. Eleanor being pregnant came from a scene that made Olivia the center of attention, the MC had the opportunity to ask him how he was feeling only once or twice, and most of the time the narrative relegated it all to "the matter is still being investigated". It's a slight improvement from the absolute lack of concern the MC and the narrative showed about Liam's emotional state post his father's death in Book 3, but not much.
Variations wise, the team did step up on the basic ones for most of the LIs, so clearly we've moved past the days of seeing cut-paste scenes and the likes of Liam and Hana saying "I'm so dumb in love with you". However, in playthroughs where the MC is Liam's wife and Queen of Cordonia, her lack of genuine concern for her country and lack of curiosity about the place she's ruling, sticks out like a sore thumb. The fandom loves to highlight how the plot is "written for Liam" or is "easier in Liam's playthrough", but besides his own child being the heir, nothing else from Book 3 onwards seems like it was particularly written with him in mind.
Drake: Hoo boy. So 2019 was clearly the year that many people didn't believe me about Drake eating up space, and the year they had to eat their words because in TRH it was too obvious to be ignored. On an overall scale you cannot avoid the extra perks even his LI scenes got - his Valtoria scene in Chapter 4 was longer, set in a different place and he was allowed to expand on his decision to say yes to Liam's request in a way Hana and Maxwell never were. We learned way more about his familial relationships and dynamics than all the LIs combined. His childhood scene was the first to be given variants depending on whether the MC was his wife or not. His sister's wedding takes up almost half the book, leaving little to no space for either the intrigue, or even the pregnancy that was supposed to be THE most important part of the book.
An insane amount of retconning was done to emphasize strongly on the "marshmallow" part of his personality, having him state time and again that for the MC he can even "sport a tutu if you said you had a thing for the Sugar Fairy". Part of these changes could be attributed to the backlash the team got for having him call a pink cake "girly".
There is a strong possibility that Jackson might be explored further in the second book, and it's no surprise considering that he's the one parent that is most talked about in the series. The book looks like it was truly written with Drake in mind, with a heavy dose of Olivia, and everyone else was added as a bit of an afterthought.
Maxwell: Pretty awful treatment for a character that the head writer of the team claims to like. He has no individual character scenes, and one childhood scene where his older brother Bertrand is given more focus. Ironically, Maxwell was more wary of Bartie Sr in TRR Book 2 than Bertrand was, but somehow they changed this little detail so that Maxwell could be written out of his own story.
His LI scenes were also not given much effort - some were badly written, and some scenes (like the free ones) showed little to no variations between the friendly and romantic playthroughs. One that comes to mind is the baby announcement photoshoot, which was so poorly done it added nothing of value to the character or the relationship.
Like the last book, Maxwell isn't allowed much development in TRH1, and he's still forced into a largely "court jester" role in the story. This reflects very poorly on him in certain situations, such as the chapter where we finally get glimpses of his book. The aim was to be humourous and light about the events of the series, but he comes out of it sounding thoroughly insensitive towards his friends, none of whose consent he took to write this self-centered pile of garbage.
However, there is hope that they might do things a bit better for him next book, if the rewrite of him in TRR 2.0 was anything to go by. However, it would be awful if they tried to do a better job of him and then left out Hana. Speaking of which...
Hana: I'm going to begin this section with a comparison to another character, someone who should have been treated as a secondary character - Olivia.
Olivia in this book has 2 character scenes (they're very plot driven, but they also explore her outside of her friendship with the MC and dynamic with the group). The spy scene with Auvernese royalty, and the scene with Jin, the Auvernese spy. An entire chapter is spent in her duchy (by now we've seen Lythikos four times and I'm now sick of the place), and she winds up taking over Maxwell's Q&A scene as well.
So that's technically 2.5 scenes AND a childhood scene that revolves around her even though it's about Liam's mother. In addition to this, Olivia also gets her own mini-book, The Royal Holiday, that revolves (again) around her duchy and has the group clamouring to give her attention when no one else wants to.
Here are the stats for Hana, who by virtue of being an LI, is also a potential co-protagonist in the series:
Nothing.
Zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nothing.
She has one childhood scene that is part of the group's scenes - a beautiful, heartbreaking one that serves as a slap in the face to anyone who'd dared to be dismissive of what she went through earlier - but none after that, and no individual scenes either. The team - in one of their most offensive choices this book - force a storyline where she has fertility issues just so the MC can be the one carrying the child, and the same MC can opt(!!) to ask about her well-being after two days. The same MC has the chance to whine about not getting pregnant soon enough in front of Hana.
There have been a few efforts made to make the MC appear more caring towards Hana: she can angrily defend Hana against Isabella's jibes, and she can make Hana relax for once during the baby shower (unlike the wedding reception where the same MC treated her like a bridesmaid). The MC even gets to tell her wife that she should never consider herself secondary or unimportant.
All of these are nice, but at the end of the day they're all scraps. I'd equate it to how we're allowed to give Kiara compliments on the final two chapters, but the white women around her still get a far bigger chunk of space, story and attention dedicated to them. The team have a pattern of adding these tiny tidbits that will temporarily satisfy stans while still maintaining the status quo, and that's precisely what's happening here. Its important for us to understand this. Underneath all this surface concern and all these scraps, Hana is still getting dust in place of actual story and characterization. And given that they made ZERO major changes to Hana's scenes in TRR 2.0, I'm not expecting that to change.
As for the book in general...I don't have to go into why this book is a mess, do I? We all know. We've all witnessed how disproportionate the writing has been and while I'm glad more and more people recognize what I've been seeing since Book 3, it's sad that it took 9 whole chapters in Walker Ranch for so many to understand exactly how much space Drake has been eating up for no good reason.
BLACK HOLES AND WHITE TEARS
I'll begin this section by talking about Drake Walker. He's the most prominent sign of the larger problem.
Drake Walker is what I call a Black Hole LI. And yes I mean black hole as in the one that exists in space (Beckett from TE also fits into this category). He is the kind of LI that sucks up everything. Love. Light. Joy. Common sense. Other characters' spaces.
He is the kind of love interest that will have Liam's traumatic experience centered around him. The kind of love interest for whose problems - largely created by his mammoth ego - we have to resolve in Shanghai, the home of the lone female LI. While that same female LI gets nothing, and then disappears in a subsequent chapter. The kind of love interest whose love confession can take precedence even over the MC's own issues (remember the Beaumont House chapter in Book 1? The one that took place the day after Tariq nonconsensually kissed the MC? 98% of the dialogue revolved around Drake's feelings. Not about the faulty lock, not the possibility that the MC's security had been tampered with - Drake's feelings). The kind of love interest that was given an entire extra wedding and artwork for his mother in Book 3 itself - none of which were given to any other LI.
A Black Hole LI is totally the kind of LI that would get 9 whole chapters in their home while we have never even visited the homes of the others since the early books of the previous series.
This wasn't something that began just this book. It's been a constant since Book 2, and you can even see signs of his story gaining way more importance in Book 1. It's also not something we can - in all honesty - blame simply on finances and fan popularity: the writers confirmed Drake to be one of their favourites, and attempts to give his scenes additional perks (eg plot elements pushed into both the Whiskey scene and the Beaumont Office scene) happened long before they could make any conclusions about his popularity. I bought the Beaumont Office scene to find out more about that family. I bought the Marshmallow scene so I could find out more about Liam and Hana's conversation post Coronation (remember - Hana was never even allowed to speak about her return to Cordonia because that scene was given to Drake). I bought the Italian Restaurant scene to learn more about Liam's assassination. The funny thing about all these three is that these were their stories to tell, yet Drake is the focus. Quite a few of Drake's initial scenes sold because the team consistently made the effort, consistently ensured that the information from his scenes would benefit us in the long run. The narrative allowed for Drake to have his own story, and additionally let aspects of his story overshadow that of the other LIs' (see the examples I've given above). Even though he has very little of value to contribute to the larger story (no job, his friendships are shallower than a wash-basin, and no genuine communication with any commoner in the story - only endless whining).
The treatment Drake gets that no other LI does, is a problem in itself, but it also is a small part of an even bigger issue. He isn't the only white character who gets this sort of attention and detail to his story.
Take Olivia, for example. Started out as a rival to the MC, before her sad sad childhood and her genuine love for Liam was revealed in the Book 1 finale. Over the course of the story, her role changed from petty rival to Warrior Duchess to reluctant bff. Over the course of the original series, Olivia became one of the most prominent characters in the story, on par with the male LIs. I'm not sure how many people realize that Lythikos is the ONLY duchy in the kingdom we've seen thrice (four times if you count Holiday). To give you an idea of how big a deal that is, here's how many times we've visited other duchies besides the capital and Applewood:
Fydelia - 2
Portavira - 1
Castelserraillian - 1
Ramsford (the home of our sponsors!) - 1
Hana's mother's home - Never.
Lythikos has a detailed familial and cultural history, and I wouldn't be lying if I said we know more about this one region than we know about the entire country of Cordonia. And honestly for me, the obsession with this one duchy has reached saturation point. Lythikos is not Cordonia. Lythikos is not all there is to Cordonia or even the only place that should matter. Yet it seems the team is more than eager to flog that horse until there's nothing of interest left.
Olivia is the only character who gets an entire mini book that revolves around comforting her and making her feel better about her background and origins. I don't think we've ever given Hana this much attention when she left her home for us. Or when she was being bullied by Madeleine. Or when she was the other bride in that grand wedding. Or when we received the news that carrying a child to term would be dangerous for her body. Or --
We were given an entire mini-book to comfort Olivia - the woman who continued to call Hana "damaged goods" and " a failure" for not marrying a man, while Hana's friend/wife stood by and watched. The woman who didn't have to think twice before making snide remarks about an equally skilled courtier who never did her any harm, only because she could get away with it. Istg when I heard that most of the court snubbed her during that first event in Holiday, this was my reaction:
Like girl I feel bad for you but at least now you know how it feels to be held responsible for shit beyond your control!
Hana, in the meantime, is forced time and again into situations that would break most people - but with very little payoff. Her arc with her parents was given a resolution that confirmed that Hana could only be considered worthy if she was useful. She was made to interact time and again with the woman who harmed her with such glee in Book 2. The MC - as a friend or as a wife - is at best neglectful of her issues and at worst someone who uses and discards Hana as she sees fit. And now...in her romantic playthrough she's given a storyline that doesn't allow her to bear children easily, and the MC spends less than two minutes to actually check on her. Hana is one of the co-protagonists, yet a side character given the treatment she should be getting. One could technically blame finances for the way she's being treated too, but keep in mind that the bad treatment goes as far back as the Applewood chapters in Book 1. Technically a time when she was bringing in money.
I get it. Olivia is a fan favourite. Many in the fandom wanted her to be an LI, the writers didn't, so they carved out this middle path where she'd have a major portion of the story anyway. But keep in mind that a lot of this attention came - and is still coming - at the cost of Hana. The team pretty much gave Olivia what they'd been refusing to give Hana all along.
On a smaller scale, you see similar patterns with the secondary characters - especially the women of the court. Madeleine and Penelope had elaborate backstories designed to make people forgive and sympathize with them, and Kiara - even though her backstory in Book 1 was inherently tragic and deserved to be handled sensitively - was given validation with great reluctance from the team, and with no consequences if we treated her cruelly. Even now, the team has only tossed Kiara a couple of scraps in the final chapter, while already setting the stage for Madeleine to get her own tragic "patriotism" arc for TRH Book 2, and a possible wedding for Penelope in the near future.
The difference here doesn't just lie in who gets attention and who doesn't. It lies in how the MC is supposed to view these women as well. A lot more sympathy and understanding is automatically extended to the white women, and the MC faces consequences if she fails to acknowledge their pain. Far less sympathy is offered by default to the black and the Asian woman - the MC may be friends with Hana but a huge chunk of their relationship is mostly about the MC benefiting from Hana's skills without giving much in return.
Even though their misdeeds are acknowledged and spoken about, both Madeleine and Penelope are written in such a way that the problems they're currently facing matter more than anything they've ever done in the past. Hana is made to sweet-talk Madeleine despite being bullied by her in a previous book. The MC herself never gets ANY opportunity to directly address what Penelope put her through in Portavira, because what the MC went through matters less than Penelope's condition.
Compare this to the relatively small scale of Kiara's "misdeed" (being honest about not continuing with an alliance - I'm surprised people think this is an actual thing to be offended about!), and the way the MC is allowed to mistreat her sans consequences afterwards. We're even allowed to call Kiara a snob in the books - which isn't at all true if you look at any of her scenes in canon - and constantly make fun of her desire to learn (in fact, if anyone in the series could be called a snob, it would be Olivia). If I were to sum up how a woman of colour is spoken about in the books, vs a white woman - this screenshot would do the trick:
(Notice how none of the options to speak about Penelope allow us to speak rudely of her, yet in Kiara's case we're allowed to make judgements on her as a person. In Hana's case, while we don't exactly drag her the way we can drag Kiara - we get precious few opportunities to actually defend or support her when others talk rubbish about her).
When you explore the series overall, it's impossible to ignore the casual racism that makes disrespecting people of a certain race/colour easier than on another. It's impossible not to see where the narrative chooses to give consequences to an MC who treats a white woman badly, and where it allows the very same MC to suspect, and then (optionally) gaslight, a woman of colour a couple chapters later. It's impossible not to see which people are meant to be respected despite their bad behaviour, and which people can still be treated badly despite their better behaviour. It's impossible not to see a pattern emerging.
This is not even a problem that plagues only the TRR series. From TCaTF to ACOR to Platinum to even MoTY, there is an ongoing pattern of discrepancies between the way white people and people of colour - particularly women - are treated. Many POC characters are placed in situations where it's easier for them to suffer/die/be shown disrespect, than it is to show them kindness or mercy. MOC are regularly either exoticized (Prince Hamid is the most glaring example of this) or placed in very traumatic situations for which the payoff isn't always going to be that great (I know this happens to Dallas, but I don't know about the payoff for Syphax).
WOC particularly suffer quite a bit in a lot of PB novels, in comparison to their white counterparts. Rowan Thorne of TCaTF, as a character, didn't deserve for her death to be made easier than her survival (in contrast to Diavolos, who was given far more opportunities AND will live simply by virtue of allying with Kenna), any more than Kiara deserved to be interrogated by the people who should have been concerned for her safety or Xanthe deserved to be shipped to slavery. All this, while a Vanessa (who is in a position of power and who plays an active role in rendering the MOTY MC financially helpless) gets a diamond scene where she "explains" her situation and a Madeleine doesn't even have to hear about her bullying from her victims.
The fandom, too, has contributed to this on a number of occasions. Speaking specifically of TRR, how many times have we seen Hana being dragged on Olivia posts? (also, if we were really measuring Olivia by the impossible standards that we held for Hana's characterization, Olivia would appear pretty damn one-note too: after all, 80% of her characterization consists of knife jokes). How many times was Hana being looked at with disdain for either her niceness or the poor writing for her, while the same fandom would regularly coo over a nice-presenting Penelope (whose characterization is one of the most inconsistent in the series)? How many times have we seen Kiara being called a creep/obsessed for merely looking at a man, while almost no one judges Olivia for kissing a man without his consent? How many times have people forgiven a traitorous Penelope and hated on a far more innocent Kiara in the same breath? How often did the fandom hate on Liam for accepting the MC's advances after she rejected him, yet not say a word when Drake did the same thing? How many times has Maxwell been loved for his humour and childlike nature while people of colour with a similar personality (Lily from Bloodbound, for example) were hated on instantly? Clearly, there have been more instances of people in the fandom sympathizing automatically with the white character, than with characters of colour. Time and again, brown and black characters - particularly women - have been required to match up to impossible standards (if they're nice they're boring. If they don't like the MC they're <insert every gendered sexist insult you can think of here>). The standards are far more relaxed for white characters, and they're often given more breathing room and to most of what they want without the constant judgement that black and brown women get. The standards set up for both are grossly different.
Racism is a beast that assumes many forms - and not all forms of racism will appear obvious to some, especially when such stereotypes are so normalized in media and popular fiction that we almost accept it at first. Almost. To get to the root of why there's such an imbalance in this series - among others - we need to first acknowledge the sexism and racism that are such a vital part of its narrative, and that its fandom regularly buys into and (sometimes unwittingly) promotes.
At this point, it's important to understand that having queer characters or characters of colour simply exist in the books isn't enough. Token rep can be found in PB's books by the dozens, but at the end of the day it means nothing if there is a constant reluctance, over and over and over, to treat those characters with the same care and sensitivity that they treat their white ones (or their "exoticized brown" ones).
• Like I mentioned earlier, I won't be playing TRH from this point forward, but I do hope to finish my TRR QTs soon. I have a LOT of thoughts! If you'd like to be tagged on those, do tell me!
#long post#tw: racism from pb#tw: fandom racism#trh quick thoughts#trh qts#king liam#hana lee#maxwell beaumont#anti drake walker#anti olivia nevrakis#anti trr madeleine#anti trr penelope#trr kiara
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mtmte liveblog issue 19
it’s 2021 now!! time for more transformers
we start off w/a flashback showing tyrest retrieving ultra magnus’s body from the ship - and we get a look at magnus’s spark, which is the green color of a 0.1%er [eyes emoji]
tyrest punching magnus..... grrrrr leave my dad alone bastard man
‘the divided self’ what a good title
rodimus is like listen man this is a lot for my poor thot brain to take in
in flashback land, we see tyrest immediately launch into a crazy person spiel about how he can and will edit the law as he sees fit to conform to the situation, because that doesn't seem like a blatant abuse of power or a huge conflict of interest or anything
oooh the screen in the corner that says ‘thought warfare,’ I see that
oof, poor magnus. its gotta be rough to hear your boss rant about how bad at your job you are....especially bc this is right after overlord called magnus a joke and nearly killed him
its especially brutal bc as magnus says, his job is his life
augh, I love the panel where the armor is falling off around minimus, and then the one where he’s holding the ultra magnus head...poetic
its fascinating that there was an ‘original’ magnus who was an actual guy, and then tyrest chose to make him into this legacy symbol - I'm assuming the OG magnus had no say in this, and probably didn't even know that he was gonna become this lawman legacy figure
I do wanna know though - obviously everyone thought that ultra magnus was one dude, but how did the different guys wearing the armor deal w/that? like, did minimus have people coming up to him like ‘hey ultra magnus old buddy! remember when we fought those guys in that one place? good times!’ like, do they have to study up on the lives of the past armor wearers to prepare for the role of ultra magnus?
augh poor minimus, of course he’s been wondering about what happened with overlord after he was KO’d
oof, drift...I feel like minimus looks surprised and a little skeptical at the idea that drift was the one behind the entire overlord thing - which is interesting bc as we saw at the beginning of the story, he doesn't exactly trust drift, but it’s still pretty far-fetched that one person orchestrated the entire thing
tailgate :(
the concept of a load-bearer is SUPER cool, I love it so much
it also puts a much-needed limit on things - as in, there IS a limit to how much weight/mass a normal cybertronian frame can carry, which is why you don't see everybody upgrading to be Massive - bc they actually CANT
oof, the worst part is that tyrest is RIGHT, minimus essentially DID have a nervous breakdown after the war ended bc of the rigid way he views the world
mental health support is clearly in shambles for cybertronians, yikes. they literally have 1 therapist for their entire race, and he’s not even licensed anymore due to hipaa violations. what a mess
the ‘attention deflectors’ thing is so cool and clever and also a great explanation as to why ratchet or anyone else never said ‘hey wait a minute, you're actually a much smaller dude in a trench coat’
I love tailgate knowing all the stuff about the autobot code bc of magnus...my BOY
and THATS why minimus was asking about skids specifically earlier!
oh minimus, please don't put so much stock in tyrest being stable and resonable...
aaaand there's skids and swerve! brainstorm says it best - ‘because something unexpected hasn't happened for at least nine seconds.’ lmao ily brainstorm
finally checking in w/whirl and cyclonus - god I love that. whirl asking cyclonus how many cons he killed and cyc is like psh I wasn't keeping count....................ok it was six
hhhhh cyclonus IS looking for a cure for tailgate, even though he told tg that there wasn’t anything to hope for....excuse me as I go be emo
and now we flash over to the unethical medical conduct hell zone, where pharma is being weird and horny and ratchet is appropriately horrified
I seriously love how unhinged pharma looks, the art & colors do such a good job conveying his feral energy
ratchet has some massive dick energy for taunting pharma when he’s currently just a head and pharma has dual chainsaws for hands
ugh, I love whirls speech about anger...and I feel like he really does see cyclonus as a peer, despite cyclonus wanting to kill him, which is why he tells cyclonus all of this
I fuckgin love that cyclonus’s reaction to very suddenly getting stabbed thru the abdomen is to just glance down at the sword, looking mildly inconvenienced
back over to ratchet - and at first its like oh wow I can’t believe pharma was stupid enough to let ratchet goad him into this contest....but then you see first aid and ambulon and its like UH OH this is gonna be BAD
the idea that getting sliced in half is no big deal for a cybertronian is wild
‘you're gonna let doctor djd cut us in half?’ yeahhhh that's an appropriate reaction, yikes
FUCKING LENGTHWAYS GOD
pharma you piece of shit
poor ambulon :( :( :( that's fucking brutal. amazing panel but....jesus
and like, to further my point from last issue’s liveblog - the fact that this very gore-y panel is okay, but swearing isn't...that's really funny honestly. I guess robo-gore is acceptable, while I'm guessing regular ole run of the mill human gore wouldn't be
then back to cyclonus, who is still looking only vaguely put out by the sword stuck right thru him
and then cyclonus just pulls it right out, which is a very bad idea for humans but probably not as big of a deal for big near-immortal alien robots
circle of light stuck in capitalistic urban hellscape cubicals
poor skids, being asked to stand trial while having no idea what his crime is due to Big Amnesia
OH SHITTTT I totally forgot that getaway shows up here
that is super clever though, with chromedome confusing the name ‘getaway’ with the concept ‘needing to escape’
cant believe tyrest is really dumb enough to tell minimus all his evil plans
BUT that means its time for some very important forged vs constructed cold lore
jro spelling ‘program’ as ‘programme’ made me remember when he said that he considers everyone on the lost light to be british, which is perhaps the least valid thing he’s ever said vhbghjsdbfjkhasbjk
the idea that they used the matrix - which is portrayed as kind of a holy object - in reproductive experiments is really interesting
AUGHHHHH this is all so good and interesting...im really fascinated w/this particular brand of like, alien robot racism/constructism/whatever you wanna call it - I feel like it does such a good job as a plot device, where many other ‘fantasy racism’ concepts from other franchises fail, bc there's not really a ‘human metaphor’ being used here (as far as I know/can tell) - as in, this isn't a thinly veiled metaphor for something that happened/could happen in human history
in fact, this type of bigotry (or w/e you wanna call it) isn't something that is even really possible in humans - I guess if there was a stigma against being born via ivf or something...? but there isn't, so there's no obvious real-world equivalent, which I take as a sign of good writing and worldbuilding - it makes the cybertronians feel more Real, bc of course they would have their own types of bigotry based off of completely different things than humans
additionally - and this is crucial - tyrest is wrong: there’s no like, inherent moral corruption in cold constructed bots. there's no difference at all, other than method of construction. fantasy racism plotlines often flounder here, with the oppressors having a ‘valid reason’ for oppressing the oppressed, but tyrest is just operated on religious zealot bs and some biased science
like, dude, did you ever think that maybe there are other reasons why your trials only condemned cold constructed bots? like, maybe the trial itself was biased? or societal conditions were to blame? correlation is not causation, my dude, especially when the conclusion is ‘cold constructed bots are inherently SINNERS’ lmao
like, tyrest rlly said ‘FUCK separation of church and state,’ huh
anyways I just think the whole cold construction vs forged thing is really interesting and well-done, and serves as a good precursor to the more fleshed-out functionism stuff we see later
so tyrest is clearly off his rockers w/the whole drilling thing - dude, you accidentally gave yourself a lobotomy, okay - but I find it kinda funny that he’s right about a lot of that stuff he said at the end, about primus and the guiding hand and stuff being real
cyclonus saying ‘tailgate and the others’...I see you, man, I see you
also cyclonus looks fine now??? didn't he just get stabbed???
ah, tyrest sprinkling a little light genocide onto his plan to find salvation. nice, dude!
MINIMUS NOOOOOOOOO
‘fully deserved’ SHUT UP BIIIIITCH
poor minimus is taking a lot of Ls this arc, geez
oof, great issue! again, as usual....I loved the lore we got this issue, its so interesting...and some good character stuff too. I love minimus, I feel like he’s gonna be my fav this readthru; my first read my fav was brainstorm, second readthru was whirl, and I feel like its minimus/magnus this time. I just love his character arc...
hype af for more B)
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PART 7 - video #13
(Click here for mirrors)
what’s up
(Sorry for the offensive language in this one. He’s pretty pissed.)
- He wants to discuss the legal case. He filed an anti harassment protection order against two individuals. One of them has been harassing him for the last 8-10 years. This person deleted earlier videos, but Greg’s life is this guys’s obsession. It’s crazy how obsessed he is. Greg is no doubt on this guy’s mind 24/7. It’s creepy and weird. Lately he’s been documenting ever aspect of every interaction he has in Greg’s world. The dude just make $20,000 on attorney’s fees on a case Greg had dismissed. You guys payed some dude to show up to court and hear the case was dismissed. Numbskulls. If you’re a Youtuber and someone tells you to stop talking about them, why would you hire an attorney to go into court and speak for you? Dude couldn’t even speak for himself. He was just sat there smirking like a jackass while he’s losing his hair and gets fatter. Total idiot, punk ass bitch. Greg was overwhelmed be how much of a bitch he was.
- Greg was standing there with his bulletproof vest and people wonder why he was wearing that. “Christina Grimmie anyone?” He knows she wasn’t shot in the bulletproof vest area, but life is a danger when you show up to a court room where a bunch of people thinks you prey on children. Where are the children by the way? Who even made this up? Because he was blackmailed into sleeping with an 18 year old, now he’s into kids? He doesn’t understand the leap in logic.
- The other person the case was against was someone who used to specialize in going after people who go after children. He’s trying to make it look like Greg would want to go after a child like that. It’s pathetic and one of the dumbest thing he’s ever seen. When he dated Shiloh when she was 17 1/2. They spoke to the police and they cleared him of any inappropriate images on his computer and everything. He was 100% cleared with Shiloh. Another relationship where he’s still married to the person, so that worked out. Another relationship where someone was 19. Another who was 18 1/2. Someone we don’t know about was 26. Someone we don’t talk about was 24. The wife before was 24 when they separated. People obsess over these relationships and try to relate it to children. They don’t want to go after people who go after 12 year old, they go after people who date adults.
- Says this is the funniest thing: “Well they’re still mentally a child,” There are 50 year olds who are mentally a child and there are 18 year olds that are mentally 90. That’s a fact. When he was 17 he had the maturity of a 40 year old male. He was a little dark and goth, but very capable.
- At the court case Greg is sitting across from this pasty, greasier than him, looks like he never saw the sun in his life, beta male, pathetic, he’s definitely getting a double chin soon.[Greg is laughing] He’s smirking at the judge and Greg thought he was an idiot because he’s smirking in court like an ass hat. Judges likes to see people taking it seriously.
- Greg went to court and asked for it to get dismissed because anti harassment protection orders are more open and close when the person isn’t a public figure. The problem is you have an ex who hates your guts and now he wants to stalk you, that’s illegal. Now he started a tumblr about you so now in court he just has to say he’s protected by the Constitution, freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Your lawyer can argue that they’re a stalker, but that’s stressful. Now you have to argue the constitution. He avoided going in there and arguing the constitution against people who are Youtubers, not journalists. Journalism used to mean you work for someone, now it means you have a blog.
- [This section is sarcasm btw.] Chris is still a journalist even though he was released from his contract after someone killed themselves. He’s a journalist because he livestreams, which is what a 13 year old could do. Congratulations.
- Being a youtuber isn’t a prideful thing. If you think you’re a big deal because you have a few million subscribers, you’re a joke, Youtube is a joke. Youtubers who take themselves seriously and think they have an impact on the world are jokes. They’re all pathetic because there are real hardworking people out there like soldiers, construction workers, and scholars. Youtubers are morons.
- Real journalists go to Iraq or go in a storm and talk about the weather. A journalist isn’t a dude who works with a dude who is perused in court for sexual assault while dating a much younger women while going after people online who date younger women and act like they’re predators. That’s “retard paradox.”
- A journalist from Newsweek approached him in the courthouse and it was one of the most bleh experiences he had in his life. “Pathetic” is too much of a dignified word for this person. He walked up to Greg and said, “yo Onision. I really want to hear your side of the story. I’m not anti-o. I really just care about the truth, you know?” Greg ignored him and kept looking at his phone. The guy said, “Ok I get it, I get it. You don’t trust me but you gotta know you can trust me.” Greg wanted him to fuck off. He doesn’t trust a single reporter on this earth because they are looking for headlines, just like Youtubers. Especially Newsweek. The articles they write about him are totally baseless. They don’t care. He sees no credentials. He sees someone who flunked out of high school or didn’t go to any journalism school working for Newsweek. This guy followed Greg into the bathroom even though he knew Greg didn’t want to talk to him. “Just say one word Greg.” His name is JAMES. [He lists his old names.] They’re too stupid to get his name right. “I’m Greg James bitch!” [I have no idea what he’s quoting but he’s been saying that for a while now.]
- He gets in the court room and there are emo girls with dyed hair everywhere. Fucking morons. “When did this court room become a clown show?” He mimics them giggling and saying “that’s onision.” He says he should have just brought mace. [He pretends to spray mace onto the people in the court room and laughs.] These chicks are taking pictures and saying look at his snow boots. He says he doesn’t have dress shoes so he wore snow boots. Those are his ass kicking boots. One stomp and you’re done. He came prepared for war.
- Hansen’s lawyer comes up and says he was never served so they want it dismissed even though he’s well aware he’s supposed to be here cuz he sent me. Legally, Greg guesses, you have to get served in order to show up, but Chris publicly acknowledged he was supposed to be there. He could fly across the country to have the cops called on him but he can’t fly across the country to show up in court. Pussy, moron, douche bag. Where is the money going? What is he spending it on? His debts? You guys don't realize you're getting played because you paid someone $20,000 for $2,500 in fees, which he says probably wasn’t even that much because the case was open and close. The attorney wasn’t even there for an hour. You have pussy boy who has an attorney speaking for him and Greg speaks for himself. He tells the judge he got legal advise and is taking a different legal avenue. He is literally doing it right now.
- Some dumb ass hoes, dumb ass bitches follow him into the elevator. This girl was sitting next to her sugar daddy who had a beard and was a blimp. She’s holding up her camera and she was a midget and she asks him if he’s having a good day. He’s standing there thinking, “all these stupid ass whooohhmmms”. [seems like he was going to say whores but stopped himself] He’s silent because if he says anything it would wind up being te-he-he bullshit. He had sunglasses on so he didn’t have to look at the dumb bitch in the eyes.
- 2nd floor happens, elevator opens. No one got out. Bitches are going to follow him all the way to the first floor. They’re there because they want to see the circus, they’re the clowns in the circus. He was surrounded by fucking idiots. They show up because they want him to do what? Like when Hansen showed up at his house he was surprised Greg’s obviously fake videos weren’t real because he’s a boomer. He asks if people could start saying “ok boomer” because this is an actual boomer. He does math and says not exactly, but pretty much.
- Court was stupid. He didn’t have a good time. He treated himself to taco bell and treated people to dinner because he saved money by not hiring an attorney. He knows the other guys spent a shit load of money. It’s amazing they could have done it for free. They hired an attorney so they could continue to harass someone. How low life is that? If someone took him to court for harassment he would just stop talking about them. He could move on.
- When you file an anti-harassment protection order you can’t talk about that person either so it’s like a mutual contract to F off. He says that last thing was just speculation. He doesn’t know what the actual rules are.
- He thinks it’s creepy and says a lot about a person when they fight an anti-harassment protection order. Why is it so hard to leave people alone? They’re harassers, it fits the definition. Not everyone is sane or reasonable. Just gotta keep going at it. People will keep cashing in on Greg. Greg owns all the channels. They get the revenue, but Greg gets the face time because they always think about him. Their whole job is him. “Fuck you.” He doesn’t know how you could waste the most precious thing you were given, life, on someone you hate.
- He tells the emo girls that showed up to court to get a fucking haircut and to dye their hair a normal color.
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Jane the Virgin 3x04 Chapter Forty-Eight
Click here for previous recaps!
Stray thoughts
1) I usually cut Xiomara some slack, but this whole flashback where “Jane leaves the nest” because her mother just got a new boyfriend and is taking her kid to leave with him? Yeah, that makes her look bad, in my opinion. It’s one of those things that the show does to shoehorn a theme and make it relevant throughout Jane’s life… but it makes it look like Xiomara took her kid to live at a stranger’s house because he had a pool? If he had been a significant person in their lives, we surely would’ve heard about him before, right?
Other than that, I think it’s an interesting premise to dive into how Jane leaving will affect everyone else.
2) Rogelio wants to star in one of those Hallmark Christmas movies that my mom loves watching and that make me cringe so badly in order to raise his American profile, and is this the right move for you, Rogelio, my dude? I don’t think so. There must be some other way.
3) What is this douchebag turning the Marbella into, for fuck’s sake?
4) Anezka/Petra just told Jane she doesn’t like her and never has, and it kind of feels good?
Are you really that surprised, Jane?
5) So… Petra’s silent contribution to Jane’s rent could be the thing that reveals “Petra” is actually Anezka, right? I mean, Petra is the one who made the deal and Anezka has no idea about it – just like she didn’t know about the argument between Jane and Petra had before the wedding – and hence, she hasn’t been paying Jane’s rent. If she’s confronted about it, though, she could pretend and say she just stopped paying because of the argument, right? How long can they keep Petra paralyzed, though? How come no one realizes Petra is not really Petra? To be honest, if I was her, I’d feel terrible knowing literally NO ONE notices I’m gone.
6) Truer words have never been spoken…
7) First, Rob Lowe. Now, Rafael. Rogelio’s ego is getting destroyed lately.
8) Was that… a spark?
By the way, no wonder both Jane and Xiomara are so entitled and somewhat irresponsible. Alba just brought an old lady in a wheelchair to the Marbella just because she fancied seeing her granddaughter. Sure, lady, suit yourself. Do whatever you want while you’re on the clock.
9) She’s not wrong.
Of course she should be supportive, but I honestly can’t think of a more ill-fitted job for Xiomara than bank teller. I give her a day.
10) It’s America, so it sounds legit.
11) Jane was close to figuring it out when “Petra” said she bought the house when in fact she rented it, but then she pulled the “I stopped paying because of our fight.” Instead of getting busted, she got an invite to Jane and Michael’s housewarming party.
12) On the plus side, Magda’s prison buddy just showed up and pressured Petra into following through with their plan and sell the Marbella shares or else she’ll reveal her true identity. Anezka is not an idiot, though, she couldn’t have managed to full everyone FOR MONTHS if she were.
13) So… now that Petra’s not paying half of their rent, Michael and Jane have to cut their budget to pay for those thousand bucks. After a lot of debating, Jane suggests they should just go ask Rogelio for the rest, promising to pay him back. And while I think that’s okay, I feel it’s a bit OOC for Jane to come to that decision so quickly. She’s very proud and doesn’t like asking for help, especially when it comes to money. Although… since she’s rubbing shoulders with Rafael and Rogelio she’s occasionally taken advantage of the good life they can provide for her, so there’s also that. Is it OOC or is it completely in character?
14) Okay, now that Petra has told Rafael that she wants to sell her shares, he’s starting to notice there’s something fishy.
YES!
….
15) Weird dinner party does not go well, shocks no one.
16) Not only did Xiomara last only a day, but she actually pretended to like the job before admitting to her mother that she was right. But she’s not even good at pretending because she got caught immediately, and humiliatingly. Regardless, all I can think is about the poor old lady being wheeled around the city because Alba just doesn’t give a fuck about her job.
17) Michael figured Jane lied to him about one of the items on their budget, and to be frank, I’m on his side? Jane is keeping information from him as if he was a child who can’t manage his own money, but he’s got a point. She’s been living at her grandma’s house her whole life, her dad pays for her school, Rafael covers most of Mateo’s expenses, and she “survives” on what I can only assume is a part-time job – since she’s barely at the Marbella. So she might not agree with his filing system, but he’s definitely had more experience being financially independent than she has.
18) Ouch! Jane turned down Scott’s bribe, but Lina took it? Behind Jane’s back? And screwing everyone over because of it? That’s awful!
19) OMG Rogelio is babysitting the moron and why are we having these two interact with each other just now?
20) I really enjoyed the scenes where fantasy young Jane helped Alba navigate her relationship with Xiomara since she always was the glue that stuck that family together. I think the writers nailed this one. It was a great way to show that despite Jane not living with them anymore, her influence lingers, and they both have become better persons because of it. That’s a lasting impact that doesn’t simply go away.
It led to Xiomara and Alba having one of their most honest and mature conversations in a while – Alba encouraging Xiomara to take her time finding out what she likes and Xiomara encouraging Alba to go look for her own passion now that she has her green card.
21) Is Rogelio going to help the moron or break her? Either way, I’m in!
22) Rafael is getting slightly assaulted, isn’t he?
23) Both, I think. He’s breaking her to help her. I hope.
I'm a terrible sister and that's why I want to drink, so that I don't feel this. (…) Because all I do is cause Rafael pain. And I think my ex-lover killed his mother. (…) I just feel so bad, you know? My brother doesn't deserve this. No matter how many times I've failed him, he's always been there for me. And then now that he has no family, I still can't pull it together and be there for him.
Leave it to Rogelio to make me not only tolerate the most unlikable character in this show but also feel for her.
That being said, I can understand that this is why she wants to drink now, but there must be another reason why she started drinking in the first place.
24) Why do I continue to be surprised at Rogelio being the best character in this whole show? Not only did he give the moron the best advice anyone has ever given her (“Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”) but he also helped her decide to go to preventative rehab. And then! He told Rafael that he truly is a good person and that he should’ve seen that earlier. And after Rafael told him he was probably not getting the part in the Hallmark movie, he simply shrugged it off and said that Rafael was more important than that. I just want to hug Rogelio forever, he’s such a lovely, wholesome man!
25) It’s not a telenovela without a catfight, right?
26) Jane and Michael finally decided to move to a smaller place until they can actually afford to move back to a bigger one. And then the narrator dropped this bit of foreshadowing…
And friends, they really believed that would happen... but we're not there yet.
Ugh, what does this mean? Will they break up? Will Michael die for real? Please tell me Jane is not getting back together with Rafael because I will culcutabitch! What other reason could there be for them not to follow through with their plans?
27) Okay, Alba just got a job at the gift shop, so I’m guessing the spark I saw is actually there.
28) “Angels guard the sun”. Those are the words that were underlined in the Bible Rafael’s mother was clutching when she was murdered. I will not try to figure this one out, but I hope it’s something smart.
29) Anezka is fucking ruthless. She demanded Rafael give her permission to sell her shares AND that he sign his own shares over to her.
30) FINALLY!
Ya think?!
But... Of all the things, this is what gave her away? Okay, I guess…
31) While I don’t feel this is one of the most iconic episodes of this show, it was still pretty enjoyable. I especially liked the Xiomara/Alba scenes and development as well as everything Rogelio as always, particularly how he managed to be the first person to make the moron seem human. I’m very excited at the prospect of having Petra back, although I have no idea how they’re going to give closure to the whole Anezka/Magda plot. We’ll see what happens!
32) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!
#Jane the Virgin#Jane Villanueva#Michael Cordero#Rogelio De La Vega#Petra Solano#Gina Rodriguez#Jane the Virgin 3x04#JTV 3x04#recap#JTV recap#mine
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