#like anything in life it’s trial and error to have a balance and make things work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noctilin · 9 months

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I'm a fairly young artist(in my teens) and i've recently gotten carpal tunnel syndrome, is there any advice you have to avoid worsening my condition?

hi there! i'm sorry to hear about the cts. it's such a finicky thing but it's manageable with the proper attention. what makes it rather difficult is that cts is usually a case-to-case basis and not all treatment methods work the same for each person. so take this with caution.

that said, before anything else, I recommend that you keep in touch with your doctor and follow any medication prescribed. it's better if you have a hand specialist (orthopaedic) to look at it if you haven't yet. ask them anything you're curious about such as things that involve your regular activities.

another thing, you should know that my cts has gotten severe to the point that my orthopaedist recommended I take surgery, but at the time, my mother was vehemently against it and I was in no position to disobey her so I had to find my own way to live with the strain. I do find myself lucky that I was able to live my life a little normally after a bit of research and trial and error. just know that I'm not encouraging going against what doctors recommend, but if you find yourself in the same situation as me, then hopefully you'll be lucky.

these are what i found that worked for me and my lifestyle:

before you do anything else, do NOT do any stretches, exercise, or any activity if it causes you PAIN. it's normal to feel a bit of tension while doing stretches and exercises but you are NOT supposed to feel PAIN. stop immediately if you do and ask your doctor for advice. until then, avoid any activity and just rest your hands and wrists.

if you only have cts on one wrist (unlike me I have both,) I still recommend doing these things for both! just to keep things balanced. it'll be good prevention for the other wrist too anyways :)

you should also ask your doctor for vitamins for your cts! i took some for a while, I'm pretty sure it was vitamin B12. BUT please ask your doctor first!

stretches and exercises

for stretches, what i did was a routine of doing them before and after i get out of bed. this is very important especially if you tend to sleep with your wrists curled or under pressure, like putting it under your head. when you sleep, you are likely to hold a position for at least a couple or so hours before you move and toss and turn (sometimes not at all) this causes stress on your wrists for a prolonged time so it's important to stretch them before and after you sleep.

i also stretch before and after working/drawing. if you know you're going to be on the computer or workspace for a while, be sure to do this and do it every hour or so. your cts is more likely to give you problems if you keep doing repetitive activities such as drawing and typing without stretching.

you're going to see these things everywhere and your doctor might give you a diagram too, like mine did. but this is almost the same one I got from my ortho.

i like to do these as a break from work, but you can also do them before and after sleeping and/or working. just do each for about 15-20 seconds and make sure to relax your hand for about 5 seconds after each one to give your wrists a breather, so to speak. put on a lil silly youtube video while you do them! makes them less of a drag to do :-3

here are some great videos that helped me a lot as well! i mainly do these before and after sleeping/working but after a while I just start to do them randomly when I'm not particularly doing anything with my hands too.

youtube

what's great about these videos is that it's not sped up or skipped around, so you can do this "with" them. i personally find it hard to follow diagrams or sped up videos so it's nice to have a real time guide, if that makes sense. eventually, you'll remember these routines enough to not rely on the videos anymore. ^^

there's another exercise i like to do that I can't seem to find a video or diagram of but basically just do push-ups on the wall for about 20 times. this is also good for your back!

here is another easy one to do whenever you're idle or just want an easy stretch (old ladies taught me this lol)

when your wrists are feeling better, you can do some wrist strengthening. you can do this with a simple water bottle. don't use anything too heavy, you wouldn't want to strain. i'd say around 300~500g plastic water bottle is enough but, of course, find what works best for you! you're not here to body build, you just want some strength back on your wrists. do this upside too. about 15-20 times each.

tools

now that i've suggested the water bottle, here are some other helpful things!

1. wrist splint

to me, this is a MUST. please get anything like this whenever you can. i got mine from sports shops but you can also find them in medical supplies and pharmacies sometimes. i wore this when my wrists were still inflamed for 2 weeks. after the inflammation had subsided, I switched to using them every time I went to sleep. remember when I said how we tend to strain our wrists during sleep? this helps prevent that. don't use it when you're doing something though like being on the computer and drawing, I found it horribly uncomfortable!! using it when i was sleeping was enough for me.

2. ergonomic vertical mouse and keyboard

this mouse will help lessen the pressure on your cts while you're on the computer. some of them can get pretty expensive but honestly I just used a cheap 10$ one. it broke every 6 months but as long as it does its job!! if you have the budget for it, throw in an ergonomic keyboard as well. if not, you can opt for at least a cushioned wrist pad. also, try to get a mechanical keyboard with red switch keys. it makes them easier to click and use! membrane keyboards tend to have some resistance so I really do not recommend them.

3. stress ball

in the first exercise diagram you'll see one of them requires a stress ball. honestly just having one in general is pretty useful. squeeze it whenever you're not doing anything in particular.

lifestyle changes

here's where most of the trial error comes from. aside from drawing, I do a lot of things every day that require my hands, oftentimes straining them. chores such as cleaning, cooking, lifting groceries and whatnot. this made it difficult for me to recover during the time my cts was at its worst because BOTH of my hands were unavailable.

it was at this time my siblings didn't know how to cook either so I had to still move but with a lot of help from them. i asked them to chop anything harder than leafy vegetables, such as potatoes and carrots for me because I couldn't. i asked them to lift groceries for me and casseroles filled with water because I couldn't. the point is, if you have people around you who can help you, it's best to ask for it before hurting yourself even more. even now when my cts is more manageable, I still ask my siblings to do these things because admittedly my wrists are still weak.

some other changes i had to make was go from ceramic plating to plastic ones. this is because ceramic was too heavy for my wrists as well. i also changed from carrying grocery bags to buying a portable grocery cart. i also changed certain ways I draw and found myself more comfortable in using tools that help me. stuff like that, yknow? so it really depends on what your lifestyle is. but the rule of thumb is, don't make things harder than it should be!

speaking of ease of drawing, if you draw digitally, I highly recommend setting your hotkeys into something easier to reach. for example, my current hotkeys are like this so I don't strain my wrist and fingers from stretching so often.

this takes a while to get used to but I promise that it's worth it. :)

be careful as well of video games that put too much strain on your wrists. when I was recovering I couldn't play games like bayonetta because it was just too much button mashing and it made my wrists go nuts lol (I can't play skullgirls anymore </3)

i also play on a controller instead of a keyboard these days because it's less strain on my wrists. i use a ps4 controller so idk how other controllers would perform. also, if your game has controller vibration, TURN THAT OFF lol this thing makes my wrists go stupid every time.

i think it also is pretty obvious but, invest in a spacious and comfortable workspace! one that you have enough room to rest your arm comfortably while you draw or type or do anything for long hours. the reason I even got cts was because I had such a shitty makeshift table. you don't need to invest so much as to burn hundreds of dollars (but if you have the means, go for it!) I was able to make do with a simple desk chair and a spacious desk that was the right level for me.

remember, the goal is to lessen the strain on the wrists as much as possible. this includes pressing it onto hard surfaces and corners! big no-no! if your wrists hurt, stop everything, put the splint on and rest!

that's all i can think of to tell you. hopefully, you can find your way to manage things :) cts can be scary but with the right care, you'll still be able to draw and do things you like so long as you don't push it. take care!

#asks #Anonymous #art help

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misc-obeyme · 3 months

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Hi, love your work! Could I please request a headcanon with SatanxMC, author’s choice?

Hi there, anon! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoy my writing!

Okay, so uh, since it was author's choice, I thought I'd do a little hurt/comfort. And oh man, I was in a mood 'cause MC is really going through it in this one. But the thing is, I really feel like Satan in particular would be like this. He's actually really good at balancing himself in a way none of his brothers are at all. (When he's not enraged that is.) And I think that gives him a different perspective on an MC who was deliberately suppressing their feelings. Anyway, hopefully it turned out okay!

Thanks for participating!

COZY COMFORTS EVENT

It's another long day. And something inside you mumbles quietly of sadness - a constant hum that you had tuned out long ago. You have no reason to feel anything but a sense of progress and contentment along with the inevitable knowledge that there was always more to be done. You don't have time to focus on anything else.

Satan learns your patterns the first time he sees them in action. Perhaps it's the way you isolate yourself or maybe it's the strained sound of your voice. He notices when all you ever do is give your energy, passion, and love away. He watches it deplete you.

It takes some trial and error, but Satan figures out when it's all too much. He had to learn fast when he found himself unceremoniously ripped into existence, fully formed and full of rage. He knows how to adapt quickly. He knows how emotions that feel like they don't belong to you can be so overwhelming that there isn’t space for anything else.

Satan knows that you would never say it out loud, not to anyone. He sees that low melancholy in your eyes no matter how hard you try to hide it behind your smile. You don't want anyone to know, but you desperately want someone to see it, too. And he does. He always does.

He might start out with shooing his brothers away from you. Giving them glaring looks if they become too demanding. He can’t act as though he isn't also guilty of wanting your attention, your love, your friendship. He knows you like it that way because it helps you avoid the truth of your heart. It's easy to push yourself aside when others need you. He watches you bury yourself in the wants and desires of him and his brothers. Like your own don’t matter. Like your comfort is secondary to theirs.

Satan is going to ask you about it directly. It hurts. It hurts you both to talk about it and by the end you’ve both succumbed to tears. He knows you can’t hold it in forever. He knows you can’t pretend you’re okay for the rest of your life. It doesn’t work like that and he won’t watch you crash and burn. He’s been there too many times himself. That’s why he forces himself to ask you. He calls you out when you lie or somehow downplay your feelings. Don’t hold out on him, MC. Please.

Satan’s heart breaks as he watches your eyes fill with tears the minute he asks you why you’ve been sad lately. He knows this is what he needs to do for you, but he hates watching you in pain. You reluctantly start to talk to him and every word seems to be cutting you open. Every word becomes an arrow through his heart. And he realizes he’s able to stand it, able to hold this hurt, because he can also see it healing you.

Didn’t you heal him, too? Didn’t you calm his wrath in a way no one else ever could? Isn’t it the least he could do to make room for your sadness? Isn’t it the least he could do to hold it for you, just for a little while? He would take it all if he could. He would protect you from every feeling that wasn’t happiness or joy or love.

He can’t, so instead he holds you. He hates the way you shudder in his arms, like your body can’t contain the heaviness of your own heart. But he keeps you close to him, buries his hand in your hair, kisses your cheeks softly, his lips wet with your tears. He runs his fingertips down your back, he tightens his arms around your torso. He lets you stay that way as long as you want. He’ll hold you against his chest all night if you cry yourself to sleep there.

When morning comes, Satan is floored by the bright relief he sees in your eyes. For so long, you kept quiet and he watched you fade. All it took was someone to ask you, someone to listen, someone to be there to witness you pour everything out of your soul and into the night. Now you’re radiant again and beside that a gratefulness, a tenderness, a bond between you of a shared secret hurt that no one else has ever seen. You have carried him in his anger and he will always hold you through your pain.

cozy comforts | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me fanfic #omnb #omswd #obey me satan #om satan #obey me satan x reader #om satan x reader #obey me satan x mc #om satan x mc #misc cozy comforts #misc writes

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thelemoncoffee · 2 months

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Kokichi having a very fucked sense of trust my beloved

i don't think i talk about his trust issues enough and honestly that's a crime on my part. this man can fit so much trust issues in him.

i personally think my favorite way of showing his trust issues is him forcing people to work hard for his trust, if you want it you have to go through the worst of his nasty facades to prove yourself worthy of nuggets of who he really is. as results only people who were already close to him before he developed this defense mechanism and really damn stubborn people can actually get through to him, and even then depending on how fresh the trust is it can be pretty easy to break with small things.

he's kinda like a spicy kitten in that right- he spats and hisses but will eventually trust, but if you slightly break his trust or overwhelm him too early on he relapses and you end up several steps back in the process. i imagine Shuichi had to deal with alot of trial and error getting to know him because of this, but Shuichi wants to know him so he sits there with his metaphorical kitty gogurt trying to spspspspsp Kokichi out of the corner of his mental cage

because his trust is so precarious and difficult to achieve and maintain, he tends to perceive other's trust as working the same way by default. unless it's someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, Kokichi assumes everyone else is hard to earn the trust of and once recived is a balancing act to maintain, which means when he breaks someone's trust he kinda just- falls into this mindset of "i destroyed everything and our relationship may never recover", then ends up blind-sighted and confused when they forgive him so soon after, maybe even calling them weak or too trusting cause in his mind it's like "why the fuck would you forgive that easily?? i didn't even make an attempt to make up for it and you forgive me???"

it's also worth mentioning that i like to imagine that Kokichi is serious about his privacy and stuff and has a very particular ideal of what he considers private, this ideal usually being anything from what people usually consider private info (ie; where he lives, his trauma, his family life, medical shit) to stuff that are uniquely Kokichi (ie: hobbies, food preferences, what he and his friends like to do together, even how to interact positively with him).

because he's so serious about his privacy, regardless of how insignificant you deem it, he will feel like his trust was violated if you tell anyone without running it by him first. he claims it's for the mystery, but really he's just paranoid and trying to keep up a facade he can control- micromanaging who knows what harmless fact about him to feel comfort, telling someone something as simple as his favorite animal without his permission throws him into a tizzy

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #headcanons #character analysis #kinda #not really #kai prompts

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neptunes-sol-angel · 2 years

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•°♤°~Words From the Dark Divine Feminine •°♤°~

~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•

ANNOUNCEMENT

Before I begin this, I just wanted to apologize for the sudden disappearance. Abruptly, I had a tower moment that I needed to take care of, not only was I not in the right mind space to continue posting content, but I literally can’t channel anything for the collective when I am in a low state because nothing will come through except messages that are specifically for me. I had so much anxiety over whether to come back or not because I was stuck with this job, I had absolutely no time for both that and this account and it completely tipped the scale in my work life balance. Not only that, but I went through so many different emotions over how my life was that I just knew that if I ever decided to come back, to do this reading. This felt right, and I’m so proud of this because I was stuck on this for months because I was trying to provide guidance to the collective on lessons that I haven’t even learned from. I had to go through the trials and error, solitude, and the patience to figure out how to turn the light on during a time that just felt too dark. Thank you to all of you that didn’t take it personally and are still here today.

This is a pick a card reading dedicated to speaking about our most taboo of feelings, dark feminine energy isn’t tied to any gender, it’s a part of all of us. Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message.

⚠️WARNING⚠️ These messages are heavy and dark. Specifically speaking, they have mentions of suicidal thoughts and other triggering stuff.

♤Pile I♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Soko - Time Waits for No One

Sharon Clark - I’m Not Afraid of Love

Hiatus Kaiyote - The Lung

Letter - “Why am I so trustworthy? At every opportunity, these people take my heart for granted, and it’s starting to harden to stone. My desire to live in this loveless world is withering away, like ice cream that melts under the sun. It feels destined to perish. Was I made weak? What’s wrong with me? Is my love too much? Did I not love them enough? Please. I’m begging. What can I do to fix me!? God! I hate my femininity so much! I can’t take this pain anymore, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it go away. There’s no need for them to tug at my heart anymore. I’ll rip it out myself and claw at it piece by piece until it is nothing. Anything. Anything to make this curse of emptiness go away”.

Message: Pile one, I hear you. And I’m so proud of you for making space for your discontent for the painful experiences that left you feeling shattered. The only things that are wrong here, is how you were treated. You were never the problem in the first place. Moreover, you are so wrong about yourself, there is no need to be strong when that is already what you are. You are an extremely powerful visionary, and how do I know this? Because you’re right about the world. It’s lacking so much love right now, but with extraordinary eyes like yours, you knew exactly who needed your love at the time. Strength requires courage, and you were brave enough to not only trust others, but trust yourself to give your love, and it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you fierce. People respond with hate to what they fear or don’t understand, so in a loveless world plagued by chains of cruelty that humanity imposes on one another, it’s hard to break out of that when met with a divine gift like yours pile 1. I know it feels like anguish, loss, and that you’re battered and bruised, but instead of you turning into those that hurt you, you stayed true to who you are, and that takes strength, Remember that you hold the power and that people are going to be attracted to the kind of abundance that you have, but once they show themselves as unworthy, reclaim your power back. Love what you have and yourself because loving them wasn’t a loss for you, them not knowing what they had is a loss for them.

♤Pile II♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Lil Nas X - Sun Goes Down

Kari Faux - Chattin Shit

Doechii - Persuasive

Angel Haze - Battle Cry

Letter: “I can feel their stares. Hear their whispers. These people do not respect me. It’s like my past follows me wherever I go. Like it takes the form of a mask that never detaches. Internally, that’s how I feel. When other people take one look at this mask, they only see a distorted statement. But not my truth. They get a picture of what I used to be, but never why. Who cares. As much as I’m not accepted by them, I, however, have accepted them. Shallow and judgmental. I’ve learned at a young age, to just let people talk.

The only person that grimly haunts me, is the one that glares back at me when I look into the mirror. I loathe the feeling of self hatred and disgust. The weakness that I feel over the stoic and stern gaze that people fear, used on me. The grotesque repetition of my noises saying that I’m used up. Spoiled goods. Nothing worth offering. Do I deserve a happy ending? My noise, with hopelessness, solemnly replies ‘no’. Do happily ever afters even exist? Emerging from the dark, a cadaverous finger waves back and forth ‘not quite’.

Then what is the point of living?

To my younger self, who was just a child, I’m sorry that I failed you”.

Message: Pile two, I hear you, and I’m so proud of you for making space for your fear of uncertainty. Immediately, I’m hearing rebuttals from your inner child, furiously shouting ‘NO! don’t you dare give up on us!’. They’re saying you haven’t failed them, but if you decide to throw away your life because you don’t believe that you’re capable and deserving of your blessings, then that’s when you failed them. Stop letting your past provoke you into self-defeatist mindset. Quiet the noise, because it’s not real and the past is no longer here. However, your inner child still is and they feel hurt because the shadow that is haunting you now, was their reality. They’re urging you to know that you can be strong for them because the strength it took for the little version of you to survive all of the wounds and trauma to be the person of today reading this right now, still lies within. Like a movie, why would you turn it off before it even ends? You have so much to life for, they know this, and they want you to keep going because happily ever afters do exist, and reaching it is not only just about you. It’s about alchemezing, turning your life around regardless of your mistakes and the wrong committed against you. To create your own justice for all parts of yourself, especially your inner child.

You are not broken. You are not disgusting. And you are not “used up”. Our bodies are just a shell. It is your soul that matters and it is strong. In your spread, there’s an oracle card with a starfish, liken yourself to the animal when it comes to your losses. It regenerates and it is self-sufficient. I’m getting that you may have had a mother that was absent in your life, and it doesn’t have to mean physically. Water down the bully inside you by reparenting yourself and becoming the nurturer that you’ve always needed.

Tough times are temporary, but are dreadful to experience, but to keep it from overpowering you, remember that it is never you that you should be fighting.

♤Pile III♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Marina and the Diamonds - Primadonna Girl

Willow Smith - Pretty Girlz

SZA - Supermodel

Molly Burch - Needy

Letter: “I stare at the mirror for hours. Trying to find the beauty in my face and body, only to problems that were not there before, then to spend more hours, analyzing how to fix my physical appearance.

With the majority of my 24 hours gone, I use the remainder on lifelessly scrolling down a screen of pretty faces, in acute synchronicity with the tear rolling down my cheek, wondering, ‘how can I be prettier?’.

I compare myself to their lovers. What part(s) of them made you choose them over me? Is it bigger that’s better? Or is it smaller? Is it long? Is it short? Is it lighter? Is it darker? Is it short? Or is it taller? Is it sharper? Or is it rounder? Is it softer? Or is it more defined? Is it it more? Or is it less?

Tell me. What can I do to fix it? I just want everyone to love me”.

Message: Pile three, I hear you, and I’m so proud of you for making space for your body dysmorphia. I wish that you could see how much of a stunningly ravish person that you are.

Beauty is like a succulent. You could be a cactus or aloe vera plant. Very prickly, not so prickly, colorful, monochrome, big, small, you might or might not have flowers. Whether it is water, or aloe, maybe neither, the point is that it’s what it’s inside that matters. Yes, beauty can be physical, but true beauty is within. Self love, like any other love “liberates” like Maya Angelou once said. From conventional to unconventional, accepting and embracing what you have and knowing that regardless of what others say, is still in fact beautiful, is what’s going to set you free from this mirage, because what you have going on inside isn’t going to be conditional. It isn’t going to be based off of what your surroundings say, it isn’t going to be phased by rejection, it isn’t going to be a trend that comes and goes, it isn’t submissive or dominant, it isn’t “activated” by changing yourself or going under the knife, it doesn’t change depending on the person next to you, it doesn’t need to be validated by anyone else.

It’s timeless. It’s one of a kind. It’s pure. Baby, you are so beautiful just the way you are.

♤Pile IV♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Alex Serra - Outter Space

Pharell - Happy

Marina and the Diamonds - Satisfied

Marina and the Diamonds - Hermit the Frog

Marina and the Diamonds - I am not a Robot

Letter: “For so long, I’ve kept this clean image. Molding myself into something I’m not. Replacing the lego pieces that make me, with a formula calculated for perfection, in exchange for success. I did everything right...so what is this?

I’m malfunctioning trying to decipher if there was an error made somewhere, but I get nothing. I’m stuck. What is this? What is this? What is this? I’m wailing out in confusion ‘WHAT IS THIS???’...Am I going insane?

Why did I sacrifice so much, just to get these results? I wasn’t supposed to get this outcome...If this is one big failure, then who did I really make these choices for?”

Message: Pile four, I hear you, and I am so proud of you for making space for your existential crisis. The answer to your questions is stop saying no to yourself and to start saying no to them.

This path was never for you, but with all of that pressure pressed against you to create a life for others to live vicariously through is difficult to avoid, but your life isn’t over, this “big failure” is your chance to start a new beginning. Start saying yes to your own happiness, say yes to your sanity. Cut the puppet strings, and be free in your own truth, doing what you love and loving what you do.

Release those emotions that you were conditioned to not feel, and relish in what makes you the most passionate, unapologetically. Life isn’t meant for us to work 24/7 to reach an ideal image of success, in fact, many have died trying to by neglecting the same heart that was begging them to stop, because there’s so much more than working a monotonous routine that isn’t even for you. There’s no logic in being care free, stop taking your true self for granted and just flow with whatever will make your heart sing.

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot #tarot readings #psychic #psychic readings #intuitive #intuitive readings #divination #spirituality #occult

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blainesebastian · 1 year

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little family (ccg universe)

words: 2,586 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request) “first time austin and ccg take their little girl out in front of paparazzi” warnings: none notes: part of the ccg universe, should probably know something about it before reading :) tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylesmendeshearted, @rairaielv,

One thing you've come to appreciate and not take for granted as you move through life, your experiences, in building your family, is time. You know how lucky you are with your successes, with finding the love of your life, with having a baby girl and watching her grow up and discover things for the first time. You and Austin have had really busy careers, neither of which you've put on hold--there's nothing out there that says you can't have it all, work and being wonderful parents.

And that's exactly what you're both doing.

Sometimes it works out better than other days, it's all trial and error, figuring out how to live in both realities. It's exhausting, sometimes terrifying, but completely rewarding. You don't think you'd trade it in for anything.

But you also realize that when you and Austin find yourselves both at home, able to be with one another and Luci and enjoy time as a family? You take it and savor it, cherishing every single moment that can be taken into your hands and held. You both put pauses on projects for a few days of doing nothing...which just translates into finding the time to bury yourselves in eachother, rekindle the flame and heat between you and turn it into a wildfire. It also means doing things your daughter loves to do and she's quite easy to please as a two year old—baking lots of homemade cookies, movie marathons on the couch, making blanket forts and so many trips to the park you're beginning to be able to follow that route outside your apartment with your eyes closed.

One of the things, out of many, that you love about having a daughter is that she sees the world through new eyes. Everything is bright, incredible, an adventure. She's excited about everything, discovering herself and how she fits into the world around her. She's also, most definitely, a daddy's girl. You knew the moment you became pregnant that Austin would be a wonderful father and he's lived up to every expectation, dream and more. Luci adores him, which you can't say that you blame her, always asking Austin to sing in her own way or to read another book before bed. Luci loves animals, she loves babbling at dogs or birds when they're out and about, and Austin has this whole run-through of naming pigeons while they're in the park that Luci loves and you find hilariously amusing.

Some days he makes it look downright easy.

On this beautiful day off, the weather is just slightly beginning to become a bit cooler in the afternoons, the seasons shifting. There probably won’t be many more sunny days like this as rainy autumn days sneak in, so you’re definitely soaking up as much time at the park as possible. You’ve been here for about two hours, swing and slide time for the most part. Luci laughs any time Austin attempts to go down the slide with her, his long legs practically hanging off the end, even the twisty yellow one which has a bit more to work with. You take photos on your phone to send to your parents, capturing one with Luci between Austin’s legs on the slide to put on your Instastory.

A soft smile tugs the corners of your mouth—you’re so in love with him, your family, grateful for days where everything feels so close to perfect.

Pulling your sweater closer around yourself, you wander over to stand where Austin and Luci are seated in the grass and she’s collecting colored leaves. She’s got a very small pile of yellows and reds, some burnt oranges. Austin tilts his head up to look at you, a soft amused expression on his face.

“Quite a collection.” You comment, watching as Luci wanders around, barely balanced on her two feet. Austin reaches up for you and tugs and because you don’t expect it, you laugh as you tumble down onto his lap.

“Hi,” You smile at him, seated sideways.

He hums a greeting, stealing your lips in a small kiss. You run your hand along his shoulder, the material of his leather jacket smooth underneath your touch. Glancing to your right, you see Luci take a tumble but she’s fearless, right back up and leaf collecting. You shake your head with a laugh, moving to sit more between Austin’s legs than on top of him. A small shiver trails down your spine as a breeze picks up.

“Cold?” He asks, rubbing your arms with his hands.

You lean back against the warmth of his chest, “A little—seems like the weather changes so fast anymore.”

“Dramatic for sure.” You can feel the heat of Austin’s breath against your neck as he leans down to press a kiss to your shoulder, “Somethin’ mother nature and Luci have in common.”

You giggle a little, running a hand through your hair. You watch fondly as Luci wanders around the grass, picking things up to examine in her little outfit—brown sweatpants, sneakers, matching brown sweatshirt and a jean jacket. Austin ironed some patches on the back of it, she’s definitely stylin’.

“Kinda crazy to think how fast she’s growing,” You comment, not in a sad way but just…surprised? In awe, maybe. “Soon we’ll be carting her to award shows and film events.” A soft smile tugs the corners of your mouth, playing with the bottom of your sweater.

Austin’s one hand lifts to brush along your jawline, encouraging your head to turn so that you’re looking at one another. “I love you.” He says, just because, and even though you’ve heard it plenty of times, it never fails to make your heart skip in your chest.

You tip your chin up and nuzzle noses before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

When you hear the patter of feet coming closer, it’s about five seconds before Luci throws herself onto your lap. You let out a soft laugh, muttering crazy girl underneath your breath as you brush her hair out of her face.

“What do you got there?” You ask.

“Leeeeves!” She shows them off proudly, Austin touching the tip of one of the yellow ones.

There’s a particularly strong gust of wind, shaking the trees above you, and you wonder if it’s supposed to rain at some point tonight because you hadn’t looked that far into the weather. It’s not too cold yet, at least, but definitely chilly. When Luci goes to put her leaves into the collection, you realize one moment before she does that they’ve blown away.

And then come the waterworks.

“Someone’s tired.” Austin announces, squeezing your hips in an encouragement before standing. He offers you a hand, tugging you up off the ground and you lean over to fix her jean jacket before freeing her hands of the leaves she’s kinda strangling as she cries.

“Definitely nap time, huh?” You smile a little, can’t quite help it because your daughter is crying over leaves and lift her into your arms. “We can collect more leaves tomorrow.”

Luci hiccups something dramatic, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she reaches for Austin. Can’t say you even blame her; you want Austin too when you’re upset.

“Want daddy?” You ask and turn towards your husband.

Austin hums and reaches for her, gathering her into his arms and propping her against his chest and hip. “I know baby,” He croons, using his other hand to wipe tears from her cheeks, “C’mon, let’s see if those family of pigeons are outside our home.” He says, distracting her from the leaf debacle.

He wraps an arm around you briefly, pressing a kiss to your temple before your hands lace, walking out of the park.

“Remember? There was a spotted one,” He begins to list to Luci, who sniffles and wipes her cheeks before nodding, “Big fat gray one.” He squeezes her, leaning down to blow a raspberry in her neck and that definitely prompts a smile. You can’t help but remember the same guy who was so worried that he couldn’t get it right when she was a baby, when all Luci would do is cry.

He’s come a long way and you couldn’t be prouder of him.

You squeeze his hand, luckily home is a few blocks over. On the way to the park, Luci was put between you both, holding your left hand and Austin’s right as you all walked. Now, about five minutes away from the apartment, she’s dozing on Austin’s shoulder.

You’re about to mention something mundane, like what you’re thinking of for dinner, when you notice a small swarm of paps outside the apartment. This happens every so often—they come in waves, it’s like they got certain celebrities on clockwork to check in with. Usually they’re respectful, just want some pics, to throw a question in. The doorman, Mike, is decent at keeping them away from the steps. Both you and Austin have been pretty good at maintaining a distance since the baby was born.

Even though it’s obvious that you can’t avoid it forever.

“Austin,” You speak up, pausing on the sidewalk.

Austin shifts Luci in his arms, “I see ‘em. C’mon, we’re just gonna have to walk fast.”

No matter how often you’re around this, you can’t seem to get used to it. One of Austin’s hands latches onto yours as you head to the entrance. You understand that this is just the dance you sometimes have to do dating Austin, by being so firmly planted in his world. You know that your film has brought you some notoriety as well, but not like him as an actor. So most of the paps direct questions towards him, a few throwing out hellos to you and she’s gotten so big! meaning Luci.

You don’t mind things like that, you even say hello back or offer small waves. But then there’s people who don’t know how not to push buttons. They’re the ones who try and insist on taking a family photo, something that’s not candid, which would require Luci to be awake or on the ground walking. Austin ignores those pretty easily, encouraging you to walk in front of him as you get closer to the steps so he can use his body to block the cameras and paps.

What he doesn’t ignore, however, is the question thrown into the air for shock value—“Y/N, still having trouble losing all that baby fat?”

It doesn’t even bother you at this point because it’s so cliché for Hollywood, the bullshit of expecting your body to automatically bounce back as if you never carried a baby for months.

Austin turns on the steps, “You got somethin’ you wanna say about my wife?” He asks, jaw clenching.

You reach out and touch his arm, shaking your head, “Austin.”

The pap lowers his camera, obviously surprised that Austin’s reacted instead of ignoring him. So he presses a bit hesitantly, “Look man I’m just askin’—”

“I know exactly what you were doin’,” He interrupts with a snap, his voice adopting that Elvis drawl leftover from years of vocal coaching when he’s upset. The sound wakes Luci, her head lifting from Austin’s shoulder as she squints her eyes and looks around.

The sights and noise are a bit overwhelming, her little hands gripping the lapels of Austin’s leather jacket before she starts whimpering. He’s already passing her to you before the crying starts and encourages you to go inside. You do, Austin’s muffled voice saying a few more things to the paps even though you can’t make it out. Mike steps out to help as Austin comes in, forcing them to back up more towards the street. The hype will die down anyways now that you both are stepping into the elevator.

You sigh softly, Luci wailing in your ear, the sound ricocheting off the small space of the elevator. Austin steps closer, rubbing her back, murmuring I’m sorry baby, daddy didn’t mean to yell.

Exiting out on your floor, he unlocks the apartment once you reach the door. Luci has settled a little but she’s squirmy, still big fat tears rolling down her cheeks and you know it has everything to do with her being tired.

“Some of them got a lot of nerve,” Austin eventually says, closing the door. He shrugs off his leather jacket and toes off his boots, helping Luci out of her jean jacket as you maneuver yours off as well.

“They know what buttons of yours to push.” You reply and you’re not blaming him for his reaction, not at all, just stating a fact.

“M’not gonna stand around while they say shit—stuff like that.”

A small, amused smile tugs the corners of your mouth, “My hero.” You tease and you can see the moment Austin relaxes, mostly in his shoulders, before he rolls his eyes and smiles back.

Luci stretches her arms out towards Austin, a very clear indication she wants him, and you chuckle lightly before passing her over to him.

“I’ll get her clothes out.”

Austin hums in response, following you towards Luci’s bedroom. You turn on the lamp on her nightstand, getting her something comfortable to sleep in as your husband dips her a few times by holding her against his chest and bending—all for the instant reaction of making her laugh. You smile, shaking your head as you turn and watch them for a few moments.

“You’re gonna get her all riled up.”

“Tell mommy we know exactly what we’re doin’.” Austin tells Luci, her hair a mess of bright and wild curls that reminds you so much of him.

“Mommm-eeee.” She grins out, kinda upside down as Austin dips her again, and you laugh.

“You look like a monkey when you do that.” You tell her, reaching to tickle her belly as she’s tugged upright and put on the floor.

Luci puts her own pjs on for the most part, with a little help from both you and Austin. He lifts her up and into his arms, planting a kiss on her cheek, depositing her into her bed in one big flourish. You smile, putting the clothes she wore to the park on a chair in the corner of her room before leaning against the doorframe, watching Austin tuck her in.

This is something that hits you hard every single time, that settles warmly into your chest and blooms outward. This is all yours, your own little family. Something that you never saw coming, that you hadn’t planned, but now you can’t imagine living without.

Luci is quick to fall asleep, the exciting day catching up with her. You leave the small lamp on that’s in the corner of her dresser, just enough brightness in case she has to get up. You smile at Austin as you both leave the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

He cups both sides of your face, leaning down to kiss you, your arms winding loosely around his waist for a few moments. Once the kiss ends, he nips at your lower lip, a small smile tugging the corners of your mouth.

“Your turn,” Austin teases and before you can even figure out what he means by that, he’s leaning down to quickly scoop you into his arms. A surprised squeak leaves your lips while you laugh, holding on tight as he carries you towards the bedroom to set you down in bed.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things #ccg

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performativezippers · 2 months

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I've been writing fic for a bit more than ten years now; most of which (eight? nine?) as a pantser. At most I'd make a timeline, for a complicated timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly fic, but other than that, I just daydreamed the story and then wrote it down 😅

Then in the last couple of years, I tried to learn more about the craft of writing. I never had any training in school or uni, never any class or anything; I did work with a writing coach for a while two years back, and read a lot of advice. I've started to plan stories out more, to be more intentional about what I write -

But I have now run into a problem that I heard pantsers describe, which is that when they plan out the story till the end, they feel like it's done, and the impetus to write it just drops away.

I think I'm still right in the middle of finding my writing approach, which - on the one hand, exciting! I'm learning more about myself, that's always good! But on the other hand, I'm sad about the projects I was working on that I have somehow run out of steam on. I do have other projects that I still am excited to write, but I'm a bit worried I might lose interest in them too as I try to find the right balance between planning and pantsing.

IIRC you are a pantser, right? Any advice on how to not get ahead of myself when I approach a new story? How to keep pace between the dreaming-up of the story, and the writing-it-down?

OMG this is the question!! I am absolutely a proud member of pantser nation, yes, and I'll tell you what works for me, but I do honestly think this is something that (sadly) each person has to figure out for themselves via trial and error.

Terminology for those who don't know:

Pantser: someone who writes by the "seat of their pants," aka no outline, no real clue what happens next. The joy is in the journey!

Plotter: someone who plots everything out before hand, like by outlining or using scene cards or something. The joy is in knowing the journey before you start!

Most people are somewhere in the middle, or vary project by project. There are lots of names for it, like plantser or "headlight method" or whatever, but basically you can think of it as the Kinsey scale, with 1 being solely pantser, 2 as leaning pantser, 3 as equally both, 4 as leaning plotter, and 5 as solely plotter.

I'm a 1.5 I'd say, the 0.5 being from having to learn story beats in order to sell original fiction to traditional publishers, which means things like "the breakup should happen around 80% of the way through" and "inciting incident at 0 or 10%." If that doesn't make sense to anyone reading, don't worry, it doesn't need to! (But if you have questions about story beats, feel free to ask!)

As a true pantser, I typically know the following things before I start. I'll give an example from a long fic I've written and for a book that none of you have read because it hasn't gotten bought yet (SADFACE).

I know the characters and some basic facts about them and their relationship pre-story:

Back to the basket: Alex is a closeted college basketball coach who washed out of the WNBA (life based on Adia Barnes). Maggie is an assistant coach who used to fuck Alex in secret during college and is hella gay.

Original romcom: Libby is great at making friends. Sasha is a serial monogamist. They are both "straight."

Setting and meeting:

Back to the basket: Maggie joins Alex's coaching staff. The fic will last the entire college season (~6 months)

Original romcom: Libby and Sasha meet on a dating reality show. The book will encompass the first 6 weeks of the show.

Primary conflict:

Back to the basket: Alex wants to focus on work because she's A Big Failure. Maggie wants to date. They have undeniable chemistry and horniness.

Original romcom: Classic "straight" friends to gay lovers problems, made worse by the reality show setting.

Ending:

Back to the basket: We get really far in the tournament and Alex and Maggie get their happily ever after

Original romcom: Libby declares her love at the Ceremony, Sasha declares it back after some mental buffering, and they get their happily ever after.

Once I know those things, I'm pretty much good to go. For some books I know the midpoint (I knew the midpoint of my forthcoming novel before I started writing it) but for most projects, including fics, I don't know it until I've written my way there. In these examples, there was a clear time boundary (6 months, 6 weeks), which I find very helpful. When co-writing with the incredible @roadien60, we've put time boundaries on our fics together to help us keep the story tight, compelling, and contained (I mean LOL, Missives is literally almost 80k, but just imagine how bad it would have been if we hadn't been counting down to the eclipse!)

While pantsing, I really try to let the scenes shape themselves, to let the characters simmer when they need to and move forward when they don't. I don't let the characters do whatever they want, because those wants might not make for a compelling narrative or be what I want to write, but I try to let things flow naturally from one event/emotional beat to the next.

This method requires revision, sure, but revising is easier than forcing yourself to draft something that simply won't come, and that's what matters.

I try to be very very careful about NOT thinking ahead. I don't even let myself daydream the things I'm planning to write. I'll think about the next chapter between writing sessions, but never further than that, because if I've so much as thought about it, some of the joy is spoiled. I'll think of great dialogue in my head, and then forget it, and no matter what I write down on the page later, I'll always think it's worse than the first thing I dreamed up in the shower, and that's a kind of regret I don't have space for in my brain.

And the consequences are real! The only fic I took 5+ years to finish, Splice World, is the only one I plotted out all the way. I had to wait until I had forgotten what I plotted to be able to finish it, and even then it was a bit lackluster.

So I guess after all of this word vomit, my questions back to you are:

What was going wrong when you pantsed? What specific problem are you trying to solve for? Sometimes people try to start plotting because they think being a pantser is less "good" or sophisticated or something, to which I say, fuck them!

When plotting, at what level of advance detail do you get bored? If you know the ending, the next chapter, five chapters in the future, etc? Maybe you can find a happy middle there, where you can think a few chapters ahead but not the whole thingy.

How much do you daydream/think about the story without writing it? If it's a lot, trying doing it very little or none and all, and see if that helps!

LET ME KNOW!!

#ask zipps #writing advice #writing original fiction #writing fanfiction

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fearowkenya · 10 months

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Cold-blooded, ruthlessly efficient, and cruel in its methods. These are words that can be applied to an alligator, sizing up its target as it lurks beneath the surface and waits for the perfect opportunity to drag it into the depths. The same words can equally apply to Shuuji’s father, who never stops watching his every move, judging Shuuji for missteps he doesn’t even know he’s making as he tries to live up to unclear and impossible expectations.

Stressed, scared senseless, and operating entirely on adrenaline. These are words that can be applied to somebody attempting to escape from an alligator, desperate for a shred of hope. The same words can equally apply to a participant in a game of capture the flag, where one team’s lone survivor fights for their life in hopes that a singular small success will turn the tides.

Shuuji gets a weird text at the worst possible time. Ryo risks his neck for the sake of the team. There’s alligators.

yeah im not posting the entire fic under the readmore , im not prepared to spend another two hours of trial-and-error on formatting. anyway i have so much to say about digisurvive but im unfortunately not the type to talk about stuff unprompted until im much more confident n comfortable. instead i'll talk about the First Ficwriting Experience Since 2016

ive seen all four endings but i havent done what im calling my Victory Lap playthrough yet. what i mean by Victory Lap is that i got my guys at lvl 80+ and the only real purpose of going thru it all again is to see any early-game missed dialogue and take unnecessarily-meticulous character notes

im not about to claim to be a Blorbo Expert w a PhD or anything but i think ive got a pretty solid understanding of the bulk of the characters and can manage a pretty accurate portrayal . shuuji and ryo are definitely the easiest characters for me to write , and im anticipating that the same will be true for kaito. i cant say for certain tho since i havent explored his voice much yet but im more or less confident that i can do a good job

at first i was like oh god oh fuck i cant write aoi but i thought about it for 2 seconds and it turns out that uhhhhhhhh i was a lot like her when i was a teenager. the insecurities are exactly the same, it is so horrifyingly uncanny. so for me, saki is the one that i find the most difficult to characterize and i love that because it seems so deliberate. this girl DOES NOT want you to perceive her and is doing her best to ensure that you do not notice that she has anything to hide. if you are good at writing saki, i have a lot of respect for your tremendous power

but thankfully sakis presence in this is minimal so i dont have to worry about that just yet. what i AM worried about are my formatting choices. i think theres a lot of potential in fucking around with indentation, typeface, and text placement, so im taking a swing at trying to push it further than i have before. i think it can serve so well to imply when something is happening, what else is happening at the same time, and how it makes the characters feel without having to outright say so. i dont want it looking like a geronimo stilton book tho so i gotta learn to strike a balance lmao

SO much of the way i enjoy character portrayal comes from tone and nonverbal communication, especially really subtle stuff like eye movement and body language. i think it can be so challenging to write that stuff in a way that doesn't feel clunky or encumber the pacing. the thing im practicing right now is saying stuff without saying it, and also trying to improve my imagery & symbolic language. im having a lot of fun with it

mkay im actually late for work so i need to post this damn thing and move on my with my day. thanks for your time!!

#digimon survive #ryo tominaga #shuuji kayama #digimon #drops this in the digisurvive tag like roadkill . heres my offering. i havent posted fic since 2016 #under the readmore you can find me talking into the void

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lorei-writes · 11 months

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Recently I've been feeling things that refused to be put into words. I don't think I can do that now, to be honest. Anything that comes to my mind is both too big and too small all at once. But then there's only trial and error. So let's try.

The topic: this place.

Now, this isn't any announcement. It's nothing particularly dramatic either. My assumption is that this will not be of interest to anybody. I suppose the only reason why I write this is that... I have always done that and, on the off-chance of there being one person who would be curious to listen, it is only fair. Perhaps it is just my hoping that there is such a person. I don't know. I don't think I can know now.

For starters, it is very hard to describe precisely what I experience without hiding behind words. Without telling things as I wish they could be told -- but then, then that would be false.

One of the recent feelings was that this place is, well, somewhere between states. That it used to be one thing, that things changed, and that now the overarching assumption is that I am going somewhere else and abandoning what was.

*sigh* And that's the part that I don't understand. Things have always been changing... And I'm conflicted, because I'm trying to find a way to navigate it all.

For one thing, it is wonderful to feel a surge of joy. I'm so happy to have found a new little interest to pursue. I'm happy to be able to take things, to create with them, to explore new possibilities... But at the same time, it doesn't mean that I'm moving away from the quiet familiar joys I once had. Surely, the ratio of them may change... But it isn't my intention to step away from them. If anything, I want to find a way to have both the old and the new. I don't want to choose when I don't even see it as a choice.

But, I don't know how to accomplish that. I don't know what sets of rules to impose and I presume simplifying them will be an ordeal in and of itself... And what is worse, I expect that the more things I like, the harder this will get.

This ties with another feeling I have. It... Well. There was a time I thought I'd be happy if I had more -- more recognition, more appreciation, more friends. Now I realise I'm at the receiving end of overwhelming amounts of kindness. I think I get more than my far share of appreciation, and I'm fairly certain most people I know in real life have not been given nearly as much. I'm beyond grateful, but here... Here again is where I lose my balance.

I write plenty. I do art. I make edits. I crack jokes. I ramble about meta. All are the means of sharing joy to me. The happier I am, the more passionate I am, the more of those I do. I know I can go on, and on, and on, and that I may be rather tireless at times.

I wouldn't call myself a popular writer. I don't think most people would realise if I disappeared one day... And in a way, I am thankful for that. Because, due to the sheer volume of my joy, I am swept away and overwhelmed by your kindness.

The key word is overwhelmed.

But how could I not want it? How could I not appreciate it? I love hearing from you guys. I love it when we talk. I love it when we are silly together, when we throw headcanons around, when we theorise or build each other up. It's precious. It's great. I don't want you to stop. I wish I could talk with more of you... But it also is so, so, so much. I don't want to grow indifferent to any of that, even if my -- or well, the human -- brain was not meant to handle such amounts of gratification.

But how do I balance it? What do I change to stay true to myself?

I need to figure that out. I want to believe that there is some sweet spot where I can share my joy while also remaining as I am... But I may need some time. Truth be told, getting more than 50 interactions per day is plenty, and the last month we never dropped below that. Not once.

*sigh, again* A part of me misses the time when there was just a couple of people here, partially because nothing felt as serious then. I love it when I'm talked to like just to any other person. I dislike any artificial distance being put in place -- and this is why we don't celebrate follower milestones. I appreciate you. I just noticed that the last time we did celebrate... assumptions were made. Lenses of superficial metrics be damned.

But, again, as much as I'm overwhelmed with kindness I receive, I do not want for any person to go. I do not want to be left alone. I do not want to push people away, even if it is just one me and plenty others.

There must be some way... And it is so terribly greedy of me, but I want to find it. I want to crack this puzzle... Even if nobody was to care about it ever being a puzzle in my head.

#personal #lorei spoke #update

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orange-n-toffee · 1 year

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This is a silly headcanon within the bunch of headcanons I have for them but I'm certain Alhaitham realized he wasn't completely uninterested in romance because Kaveh just had to.....exist. He didn't think about relationships (it's quite different to read novels and to want that for yourself or relate to those feelings), never craved, didn't feel any urge at all either. Seeing everyone else pair up wasn't odd, it was just another foreign thing he couldn't for the life of him understand and didn't care enough to dwell on it.

How could they loose their minds for another person and act in such embarrassing ways?

Then he got a senior.

Finally, someone who understood him without overly complicating their interactions. Someone who encouraged him to be better. That seemed to have all the answers to questions he hadn't even asked or realize he needed.

Someone who made him feel like maybe, he had a feeling of belonging that he had lost after his grandma had passed.

A reflection, his perfect opposite.

Then everything went wrong.

How foolish....

He was content keeping to himself for the most part, managing his finances, acquiring new knowledge and making a decent/comfortable living.

Alhaitham genuinely didn't think they would cross paths again. Let alone share their house. Slowly rekindle that flame. Start to build a home together. But his heart was still quite soft for Kaveh, it seemed.

Kaveh is quite the romantic, not the type to get crushes quickly, but the type to crave that one perfect relationship with that one perfect partner, except as he got older, his career always came first, he was so busy he had no time to get lonely.

There's a lot of trial and error when they first start to notice their own feelings after their fated second meeting.

It starts slow, routines mixing up, making sure they have breakfast together. Bringing gifts from a trip. A fruit he'll like. A rare machinery piece he might figure out how to use. A trip to the bar. Matching plates. A fight over the furniture. Being known as a set. There's no way they could ever live apart from each other now.

But craving for anything more seems forbidden. There hadn't been any conversations about the future. No apologies. Neither want to be the first to acknowledge it. Breaking that balance feels impossible.

How to confess to your roommate 101 when you can't stand him but you also love him but you've already broken up before and you can't imagine your life without him anymore

#kavetham #i feel like i want to dwell on it but do know that this is mostly me talking about my own experiences through them lmaoooo #im just ranting with very little knowledge of the lore but yeah

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carltonlassie · 2 months

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WFH musings

i guess i’ve been WFH for 4 years now and it’s def been a trial and error to figure out what works best for me. there’s good & bad things, as it is with all things but i’m so glad i don’t have to go in to the office lmao.

don’t work from your bed - it sounds nice, just rolling out of bed and getting to work, but i found that i end up skipping meals, water, bathroom breaks etc etc and i end up feeling so shitty. don’t bring work into your bed!!!!

definitely dress up and never stay in your pajamas - related to point 1. it’s nice to dress up even if it’s just the top. bottom, i can be wearing sweatpants all day and that’s fine, but having some sort of clothes that i physically change into for Work Mode, and take off after work (like i would do after getting back home from work) definitely creates a mental separation. would recommend

go on walks. before work, during lunch hour/late afternoon, and after work. especially after work, because it feels like i walked from work back home and now i’m home!!!!

fun drinks. perhaps even 3 different fun drinks throughout the day. fizzy water, tea, juice, kombucha, etc etc etc. anything to get through the day.

take the entire HOUR for lunch. they don’t pay me for that shit. if it gets interrupted with meetings, make it up by splitting the hour. they don’t pay me!!! set slack status and snooze notifications so i have an uninterrupted hour to decompress & digest

let team members know if you’re gonna be away. they don’t judge, they don’t care. it’s actually a breath of fresh air to be transparent! they like seeing that some people are out enjoying their life, and it’s a positive influence so they feel like they can also just have some life during work hours as well.

count the number of hours of meetings you have scheduled during the day. It could just look like 3 meetings, but in reality you could be in meeting for 6 hours. Those are “worked” hours! you already worked for 6 hours! don’t do any additional work because you’re not gonna be there mentally. also, checking slack/outlook & prioritizing information is also doing work. if you did that for 30 minutes, that’s work!

related: it’s ok to work a lot on certain days and just do no work whatsoever on certain days. It’s like that in the office too. people chit chat, catch up, network, go on walks, etc. don’t feel like you have to sit in front of the computer all day. also, it’s ok to log in late on certain days as long as you get things done & stay on top of things lol.

don’t work past a certain time - it’s like, oh i can just finish this feature before and i’ll log in later tomorrow. It NEVER works out like that. There could be surprise meetings scheduled, people could ping you early to figure something out. Just, don’t feel bad about not getting something done and pick it up tomorrow. the evenings are sacred. set hard boundaries and walk away & just don’t answer people. lol. begone!!!

separate work and life devices. ideal: have a separate work phone that you walk away from after work hours. next best: have a work profile set up on the phone and configure it to shut off after 6pm, so you don’t get notifications. use a personal device to do personal things - never really use work devices to do personal things!! work won’t let you view work emails from any device, so why should you let work view your personal emails. it’s just good privacy hygiene.

when i get to go to the office, it’s like a treat! steal all the fancy snacks from the pantry. get fancy teas & free drinks! get nice meals and expense them. stay at nice hotels and relax and pamper myself. be enthusiastic & eager to meet with people & catch up with them. then i can go back into my hole and be all hermit-like. what a deal.

now if i can figure out a way to stay active (other than walks) during the day. i hate working out after work + waking up early to do workouts sounds Bad. maybe one day… but not today. I can’t upset the balance that i painstakingly figured out lol

#i’m so glad that i got the remote permission before the pandemic #bc people are being told to come back to the office 3 times a week #and i can just! never have to do that!!!#and when people say come to the office! i have to be like oh hm.. gotta check with my manager about the budget… sorry….#work shit

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aventurine-official · 3 months

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I understand, I can see that it would be a bit difficult to cook for yourself usually when you're leading a busy life. Though that just means I now have a reason to spoil you with my cooking :) and I shall pamper you until you've grown sick of me hehe

As for my recommendations, I usually go for sweets or baked good, but that's not really fulfilling and I wanted you to have a proper meal... Shall I reverse the question so that we can narrow down the options a bit? Anything you're not particularly fond of in your food? I was hoping to cook your comfort food whenever things goes rough for you... But since I'm not familiar with what kind of meals you've come to like, I'll have to keep cooking food for you until you found your preferred meal through trial and error I guess (🥺),,,

-🍮

Spoil me? Well, I won’t complain about that~

*The gambler laughs softly at that comment.*

I don’t think I’ll grow sick of you. You’re quite likeable, you know.

Ah, I’m not really sure about that, either. I do know that I’m not particularly picky, so I’ll try anything, but it I don’t like it, I’ll just avoid it from then on.

*The blonde’s eyebrows furrow, and he’s lost in thought for a moment.*

I’m not sure if this helps, but I do like eating salads? Some rice, too, and little cherry tomatoes. I’m really not experienced with filling, balanced meals as you can probably tell…

Don’t worry about making something I’ll like! I’m lucky enough to have you cook for me at all~

#trump card 🃏#crème brûlée anon 🍮#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail rp #hsr rp #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine

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strwbrrypoundcake · 7 months

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I wanna rant about something ed related

All of those people who say "exercise so you are thin not skinny fat" first of all, those of us with a high sw are gonna have loose skin, it's unavoidable when you lose a large amount of weight in a short amount of time. So there's that. Also, skinny "fat" is still skinny, which would be a great improvement for me already. When you're "skinny fat", that's the time to tone and work on your muscle. It's incredibly difficult to weight lift when you're on such a restricted diet. The best thing to do is to focus on getting to your ugw, then slowly working your calories up to maintenance. Once you are consuming your maintenance calories, then start weightlifting to tone your muscles. Of course while losing weight you should be active because it just makes sense, even if it's only a little bit. And if you can lift weights while eating 600 cals a day and fasting for 3 days at a time go right ahead, more power to you. But no one should feel bad because they don't have the energy to weight lift. I know I don't. My exercise is walking and working with kids, which does me just fine when I can handle not binging. I find that extreme workouts make me hungrier, so I don't workout until I drop because it doesn't work for me. Yes we give advice on how to lose weight here, but it is not "one size fits all" as ironic as that is. Don't listen to people who tell you to push yourself beyond your limits. You don't need to lift weights or fast endlessly to lose weight. Calorie deficit and somewhat balanced eating habits will do you just fine.

If you want some advice on how to lose weight, increase your protein intake and reduce empty calories (fast food, white bread, sweets, etc. look up what foods have empty calories for more). Protein keeps you fuller longer and I'm a living example of that. Last night my mom bought me my favorite sugary cereal, and normally I'd have 1, 2 up to 3 large bowls. But instead I made myself a marshmallow protein shake for 160 calories. It both satisfied my need for something sweet and made me so full I couldn't comprehend the idea of having anything else. And for my stoners out there, stick to sativa/sativa dominant hybrids, it will reduce munchies (learned that from another Tumblr user). Never feel bad because you aren't starving the same as the little miss "perfects" who say if you binge you're not valid. Because EVERYONE has binged at some point, especially people with ednos/bulimia/BED. Those are all eating d1sorders. Fun fact, people with ADHD can be more predisposed to binging because food gives dopamine. So find what works for you and stick with it, always learn more about nutrition. Because when you reach your ugw, you shouldn't go lower even though it's hard. Slowly increase to maintenance and increase your activity as well. And for the love of all things unholy work through your trauma, emotional eating is real and without working through stuff it'll be harder to stop binging. This whole thing is trial and error.

Most of this stuff is extremely hard, I know, it's taken me 10 years to learn everything I know and actually put it to use. And I still struggle, but I will never say I'm perfect or put others down because they aren't doing this "right". I can share my knowledge and give safety tips, but I only know what works for me. As a bigger person with an ed who has been told I don't have an eating disorder I know how hard it is out here.

In conclusion, don't tell others how to starve, don't listen to those who try to dictate your eating d1sorder and be as safe as you can. Ultimately it is you who decides how you go about things, when you recover and how you live your life. No one else. I love all of you, without Tumblr I'd have no one to relate to.

Rant over, sorry it's so long. I was affected by people who said there was one way to do this, I felt like a failure for years and no one deserves to feel that way, it's hard enough having an ED, it's unnecessary to add on to people's stress

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marengogo · 2 years

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Rambling in INFJese - Part 4: The Loud Art of Silence

Melancholy - by Jo Seong Been [SEMANTIC ERROR (ORIGINAL TELEVISION SOUNDTRACK)]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Finally uh?! This comes very late. My bad. Now, I know I’ve posted 3 already BUT let me quickly explain what kind of series is Rambling in INFJese. This will be a series of posts where I expose my own thoughts/feelings, ideas and speculations with regards to various topics, mainly Jikook related, and would like to hear your thoughts in regards as well, afterall, deep conversations with open-minded people are the best, so let’s start, shall we?

Category is: Silence.

“Silence implies consent”, “Silence is golden”, “Silence is the most powerful scream”, and so on and so forth. Like everything in life, it has its positive and negative sides/shades, but regardless of its connotation, there’s one fact which can hardly be argued with; Silence is hella loud. It’s a language of its own, it's a way to convey messages which are usually either very contrived or surprisingly very simple.

From this point on, it is all JKK_OBSERVATION_6.mg (which is what I call my opinions and speculations) so, as always, tread lightly

I’d like to say lately, but this has actually been happening for a while now, it feels like JM and JK have been perfecting the very aesthetically pleasing Art of Silence. And I am not talking about the type of silence which always triggers insecure jikookers, the subgroup and others. No. This is a silence that is synonymous with change, growth, and progression. There seems to be a calm between the two of them, a grown understanding, which is so refreshing to see and in my opinion a testament of how far their relationship and bond has come and matured.

I’ve to noticed this more and more in JM, as JK was never the most talkative to begin with (if anything, with time, he’s been working on developing his conversational skill, but that is still very much tied in with his Silence, which bear with me, I’ll explain). There is a saying I really like and think really suits this post, which is “Once you’ve matured, your silence is more powerful than proving a point”.

There has been a very natural evolution. With the passing of time, anything will undergo change, everything usually does, and in a relationship, you either make it or break it. They seem to have made it and mind you, it wasn’t without trials and tribulations! They gave their relationships and each other a chance and through ups and downs they seem to have finally found that balance, which I feel has become even more defined as of lately for sure.

To help explain what I mean, let’s go back a little bit. Let's go back to the time when they might have understood and accepted that they see each other in a romantic way, which by the way, isn’t immediately consequential to them getting together, I do believe they probably got together at least 2 years after this realisation. Anyways, back at that moment, JK and JM were quite instinctively vocal, meaning, it wasn’t their intention to be as loud as they were all the time, but more than not, in their younger times, impulse took place before thought when it came to things regarding each other and just the two of them really. If they had an opinion it needed to be expressed (Jimin mostly) if there was something they wanted to do it needed to be done (Jungkook mostly).

JM: Testing Waters - I’m of the opinion that at the very beginning Jimin really saw JK just as the cute maknae of the group, whenever for example, he’d say things like “Jk and I are a couple” I really do believe he was kidding, for real, or rather at that very point in time, his brain interpreted his own feelings in that way. So, I do believe that the first person to actively make a move was JK, as I also do think that JK was the type of person who didn’t waste time and rarely second guessed himself. Kinda like the “Rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission” type of guy.

Late 2015 would have been rather hard for Jimin to not feel the sort of “attention” that JK was applying on their bond, the kind of “notice me hyung” but not really, more like a “I know you’ve noticed me hyung, so? …” but Jm felt to me like he was sceptical of where they could have gone with this situation. So so so sceptical. He definitely did get a hunch, he wasn’t sure about it but in the end, he decided he wasn’t going to let it go to waste, even though he was kinda caught off guard, he was willing to give it (whatever it was) a chance, but at the same time he was not going to be the one caught slipping. What also needs to be taken into consideration is that differently from JK, JM was at the same time in the process of “discovering himself” or rather, letting his real self be. Our boy had A LOT going on. Yet, he still began to test the waters, realising that his were also romantic feelings after all. And one of the things he’d keep doing was for example, loudly and clearly, as if to make a point, hurl out facts about JK, whenever he could, very randomly, as if to say “Yes, I’ve noticed you, so now what?”. And well up to 2018 / beginning 2019 he’s kept the pattern of making sure that people knew just how much he knows about JK.

Jk “Man on a mission” - As I said, I do believe he was the first one to make the move, and oh was he loud and confused about it! Probably without evening realising it, he knew so much about JM already and got on a course to make sure he knew everything about JM. So much so that most likely, before he could even notice, he was going to be the quickest to answer facts about JM, the first to know things about him, the one who would make him laugh, the one who would give him comfort, etc. He was going to be a young man, because he really didn’t want to be a dongsaeng, that JM would rely on. Now the confusion came probably based on the feedback he’d get from JM, who was still very much wanting him to be the cute dongsaeng, but JK was not really having it. FOR REAL. And this dynamic went on for a very long while, in lesser degrees, as I do think that JM had accepted JK’s will more and more, however, JM never really let go completely until sometimes in 2019/2020.

2022: Something I sensed - Now this is all in my humble opinion. I do feel like there has been another shift in their dynamic, which happened at the end of 2021, a very firm and adult, kinda shift. The way I see it, as they have probably figured out the type of person they want to be, and while they are embarking on the path of becoming the artists they want to be in this second chapter, they've also reached a point of stability in their relationship. So much so that the way they deal with each other has also changed in order to accommodate the people they’ve become. For example, they’ve switched being vocal with some good old silence. For example, no longer having the need to talk about each other, particularly when the other is not present.

In the first picture Namjoon says that JK is taking dance lessons, a younger JM might have been eager to let people know that he knew, yet JM doesn’t say anything, nor does he act surprised, he simply goes ahead and says what he has been up to. In the second picture JK starts the friendship tattoo discussion and when it gets to Jimin he brings it up just to say he doesn’t know where it is, but he knows he has one. This is one example of the late 2021/ 2022 jikook dynamic I’ve observed. They really do not talk about each other if not in the presence of each other. It’s as if they are finally keeping their private life; private. Also this is the level of security we all aspire in a relationship at some point. At the beginning one is so eager to show each other to the world, eventually as you mature, comes the strengthening of trust, comes the respecting of boundaries, comes the need to protect each other etc.

Another thing I’ve noticed is how, when they are in a group, they kinda facilitate each other to talk. What’s weird about that? Isn’t that normal? You’d ask. Aside for Namjoon and Yoongi, who really can’t help talking over each other or anyone else (kinda cute 😂😂), other members as well kinda have a habit of talking over each other, and JK is usually the person that gets to say nothing, as he is not an aggressive talker.

Sometime, late 2021, JM has taken this stance where, when JK is talking, he’ll keep silent. As if wanting to give him full attention or allow him the time to express himself. It’s cute cause he’ll just look down, or away and stay silent. Even during games, where he’d have to participate and share knowledge about jk, he just … stays silent. JK also does the same, our resident Jiminipedia has slowly begun to keep quiet, slowly because sometimes he can’t help himself and still blurs out facts, but for the most part he will keep silent. For example:

The following question he then decides to participate in, and where everyone keeps their answers general, JK is very detailed with his answer. He knows it is about JM’s face and JM is also giving hints, but JK doesn’t pick up on it at all, in his brain probably having too much info to have to sieve through. This perhaps also being a reason why I feel like lately they’ve been opting for silence. When you know each other a bit too well, it is really hard to give generic answers.

In the first picture the question is about JM and where everyone is trying their best to guess, JK stays quiet and observes for the most part, though he joins at the end when they all describe how JM flexes his muscles JK intervened with “This morning he was flexing his arm”, which is hella precise for someone who stayed quiet during the whole question.

Same went for JM in the Do You Know Me Game. Everyone seemed very intent and excited to answer Jungkook’s questions, but JM seemed like he was just silently going with the flow as he stared at his card. Yet, they began to precisely reminisce about seeing a double shooting start or during jm’s vlive Jk would randomly know the type of mushroom Jin gave JM for his birthday. All this random private information, which they give us and which still confirms that: BETWEEN THEM NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

I like to see this for them, I like to feel this sense of security, of domesticity, of complicity if you may as they are both going about life with so much calm and newfound eagerness as well. They are still the people they fell in love with, but at the same time they’ve also taken those people to higher grounds, allowing their individual selves space to explore and grow, while at the same time making their life together as that safety Zone, which Jay has been speaking of. Where is that Safety Zone? I have no clue and it is also none of my business, but from the vibes I’m getting off them, they know very well.

Respectfully super happy for them,

Marengo.

#Rambling in INFJese #Jikook #JKKobservationsMG #Finallyyy~!

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