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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Sunshine, and Glory Too (Trixya) - Chapter 4 - fannyatrollop

A/N: I’m amazed with myself, for somehow managing to create unreasonable delays between updates for a fic that is 100% done. This thing has been fully edited from an originally posted/completed version and yet… the magic of poor time management. Anyway, here’s… more story in a rebloggable format.

Previously On: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Trixie hadn’t been raised to expect love in her future. Her father was doing a dismal enough job of caring for his family in life, so when he would finally drink himself into the grave she could not expect to be looked after. Therefore, marriage was a necessity, and as her parents taught her in their own way, there was no need for love in marriage. She had always trained herself to expect from life what it could realistically give her, so as not to expire on the spot with despair.

None of that mattered to Trixie anymore as she and Katya plunged into loving each other instead. It was easy, for a while. Trixie’s days had always been entirely her own, and her life was on hold for as long as she was at the Academy anyway; Katya had practice enough ignoring the inconvenient shadow of expectations to last her another few weeks. Spring did away with the slight chill of winter, and though the pretty snowflakes were missed, mornings by the lake were pleasant once again. Trixie would watch Katya stretch, would watch her bend over backwards into a bridge and hold that position with much better insight into what she felt when she watched than before. She would pull Katya into a lingering kiss and stay a moment longer to take in the fresh spring air while Katya scampered off to lessons she couldn’t give a fig about.

When they lay together at night, Katya would talk about what her ideal future looked like at that point. Whatever shred of willingness Katya had possessed to fulfill her end of the bargain she made when she agreed to be educated at the Academy, even if only to benefit her family, had eroded completely. All she wanted, she said, was to travel and perform. She wanted to live freely, to see even more of the world than she had already because there had to be more, to leave the cage she felt she had been placed in.

She hoped Trixie would go with her, that she could show her every corner of the world, and not just through a magical glass. She wanted to pluck a Northern flower and let Trixie wear it in her hair, to bathe in the sea and meet some of Adore’s people if possible, to have Trixie play the harp for her parents so they could hear how talented her lady was.

That became Trixie’s ideal vision of the future, too. She wanted to take Katya’s hand, let her lead her everywhere she might wish to go, and stay by her side to soothe her to sleep when the sun set. She had learned that Katya slept better with a little help, and was more than willing to give it. She wanted to meet the family that Katya loved so well, and would gladly consent to playing for them. If it were possible she wished to visit Pearl in the palace, where she would surely live when all was said and done, to bring her delightful little things from her travels.

She had never wanted anything more. She could not remember having wanted anything at all before this.

***

As Ginger had predicted, there existed a prince who could look past Katya’s unwillingness to act en princesse despite her instructor’s best efforts and desire her nonetheless. Madame Visage, minder and haranguer of Academy-provided fae companions per Ginger’s description, paid them a personal visit to bring the good tidings.

It had been a great, but pleasant, surprise for the Academy that they had word of a potential suitor for a lady they had, quite frankly, been worrying about. Trixie listened to Katya and Ginger’s audience with Madame Visage from behind Katya’s bedroom door. She could not see the great lady, but the sound of her voice made her insides squirm a little. She sounded like a creature who could be soft as a lamb if she chose to, but would not hesitate to rend her to pieces if she saw fit to do that instead.

Katya was to be established in the South, where snow would never trouble her again, and where she could listen to siren song from the safety of her palace. Her husband would build a grand stage where her family could find an audience. She could watch them from her very own box, but would have to save her own skills for him. He may be persuaded to let her accompany him on royal tours. As it is cruel to sever the bond of a fae and her charge by force, no matter the circumstance in which it was established, Ginger would be permitted to accompany her into her grand future. Common wisdom said that a fae companion could make a significant difference when battling the perils of childbirth, so she could breathe easy about that, too.

“Of course,” bellowed the commanding voice of Madame Visage. “You must bid farewell to the ladies you have become fond of during your time here. You cannot expect to see much of them, as they are to rule over their own kingdoms, but you may write to them. It may be difficult, though, to maintain a friendship with a foreign queen’s lady. If I may give you some friendly advice, I suggest you sever ties Lady Beatrice sooner rather than later.”

Trixie could picture Katya’s face in her mind’s eye.

“And if I won’t have him?”

“I would be inclined to call you a fool,” said Madame Visage. “Why would you have gone to the trouble of coming here if not to marry a prince? In your world, there is no other way a girl of your origins could get a kingdom. Is that not what you wanted, or what you agreed to when you accepted our invitation? There are others who would have you as a mistress, but we promised your parents a throne for their only daughter. We like to keep our word.”

Madame Visage continued after a pause.

“You should not be a mere mistress. Think about that. As for the necessary preparations, we will soon have a miniature painted, to be sent to your prince. I will let Ginger know so you can be adequately prepared.”

Madame Visage complimented Ginger on the tea. Trixie waited until she could hear the door open and close, then crept outside the bedroom. Katya’s quarters were rather small, but there was a corner from which she could press herself against and peek into the sitting room.

She could make out Katya seated on her sofa, with Ginger beside her, but only from behind. She had no way of knowing if they had been seated so close together while Madame Visage was visiting, or if Ginger had noticed Katya’s mood growing darker and decided to wrap an arm around her then. Neither of them made a sound for quite some time.

“Katya, that was badly done.”

Ginger kept an arm around Katya’s shoulder, her voice soft yet stern.

Katya bowed her head.

“I don’t want him,” she said, simply. Trixie wanted to run to her, to drag her back to the bedroom and raise her spirits.

“Madame Visage is right,” said Ginger, rubbing circles on her back in Trixie’s stead. “It would be a waste for you to leave without the future you deserve.”

“What’s so great about being a princess?” cried Katya. She pushed Ginger’s arm away.

“You will have everything,” Ginger persisted, as if she’d practiced it softly to herself many times.

Katya stood to face her.

“You know what I want,” she said. “And you know this prince will never give it to me. I’ll be a prisoner.”

“A prisoner!” Ginger said, with a scoff. “Do you even know how many girls would kill to be in your position right now? Countless! And you’re saying you’ll be a prisoner because you’ve decided you’re in love with a common girl—“

“Trixie is not common!”

The words rang throughout the room.

“Katya,” Ginger started, after she had collected herself sufficiently. “Think of yourself as royalty, because that is what you came here to be. Never mind the fact that in Trixie’s world, in the world you’ll soon be a part of, marriage between two ladies is no common thing. She knows you could never be fully devoted to each other.”

She stopped to take a deep breath, and to course-correct the direction her speech was taking.

“You are approaching marriage as a princess would, and I know Trixie is no peasant but her father is only a baron. It’s not kind, and perhaps it’s not right, but this would make her an unsuitable match for you. I don’t dislike her, and I know she amuses you, but my job is not to suit your whims. My job is to take care of you, and to ensure that you will get the throne that was promised to you.”

She softens her tone, taking on a more earnest, loving affect.

“Don’t think that you don’t deserve to be adored as a queen, that you need to settle for a difficult life with a girl who can hardly benefit from her own high station in life. Your parents thought so, or else how could they have let you be parted from them?”

Trixie thought she could feel her heart contract into itself as Ginger spoke. A rogue tear rolled down her cheek, then another, and she let them take their course. She steeled herself against more, and continued to listen. She could not fault Ginger for being right, but it would take time to rationalize her hurt feelings away.

She did not seek Katya’s gaze, but for a moment she found it. Katya turned it back to Ginger, before she could be compelled to turn her head and find Trixie there as well. Trixie wouldn’t put it past a faerie’s talents to perceive the presence of a spy, though Ginger made no discernible effort to search for her.

“But Ginger,” said Katya, in a plaintive tone. “What if I don’t think of myself as royalty? If I listen to my heart… Can’t I approach it as myself? Why must I pretend to be something I’m not?”

“In that case, Lady Beatrice would be considered your superior.”

Having had enough, Katya then opted to flee the scene. Ginger called her name fruitlessly as she sped towards Trixie’s inadequate hiding spot. Taking her by the hand, Katya pulled them both back into the bedroom. Once inside, Trixie sat at the edge of the bed and watched Katya attempt to slough off her restlessness by pacing furiously.

She wanted to make Katya feel at ease, but could think of no other method than to let her tire herself out with her walking and come to her then. In the meantime, she put a hand over her own heart and tried to will herself easy. She could clearly picture herself following Katya to the very ends of the world, but any fool with an imagination can envision themselves as the hero in a story. Any fool can find in them the capacity to dream, but there is no medicine for the bitterness of reality.

Katya was the one to break the silence.

“Would you have me, even if I’m not good enough for you?”

Trixie nodded. “Only if you would do the same.”

“I’ve—“ Katya struggled to get the words out. “I’ve missed home a lot less since I met you. I can’t bear to lose you.”

Trixie stood, walked over to her so she could hold her dear face in her hands.

“Katya,” she said. “If I get my way, I will never leave you. And if we are to be separated—If you were to return to me, I would not hesitate to take your hand.”

Katya took Trixie’s hands, still cupping her face, and gently pushed them down while squeezing them in hers. She let go of one of her hands so she could free it up to caress her cheek. She kissed the tip of her nose, and let Trixie meet her lips with her own the second time. She settled her free hand on Trixie’s waist and led her back to bed.

They remained together, laid out in the sheets for the rest of the day. Ginger had the delicacy not to disturb them, and it was awfully kind of the world to quiet down and let them be as well. Lovers, especially those to whom fate has no design to be kind to in the end, deserve leave to be fully occupied in each other every once in a while.

***

It just so happened that Katya’s intended bridegroom was Lady Valentina’s eldest brother. As soon as Valentina heard the news, it became her order of business to impose her most tender feelings of friendship on Katya at every possible opportunity. She had scarcely spared a glance in her direction throughout their acquaintance, other than to compliment her on a stimulating performance at their little talent show back in autumn, but ever since she was singled out to marry her dearest brother she had become as good as a sister.

Katya was suddenly awash in invitations to join Valentina in some amusement or other most days, and although Trixie’s presence was tolerated, it was grudgingly so. Valentina’s friendly attitude towards Trixie had shifted slightly towards enmity in response to her increased regard for Katya. Her smiles were colder than they had ever been when Trixie was around.

“My dear, it really is baffling to me,” Valentina said, addressing Violet when they were all gathered at tea one afternoon. “How you allow one of your ladies to pay so many attentions to a foreign lady, when her upkeep falls upon you. I don’t believe such a thing has ever been seen before!”

She had only invited Violet and her small entourage, stressing that Trixie’s presence would be most appreciated, and so she had been summoned to fulfill this baffling request. Pearl had been missing her, too, so Trixie had been obliged to attend in any case. Her cheeks burned upon hearing Valentina’s words.

Violet appeared unperturbed. She coolly remarked that she preferred Valentina’s company when she did not pry as much into her private affairs.

“It is most unusual, though!” cried Valentina, not at all discouraged from pressing on. “Are you not the least bit bothered?”

“I am not,” said Violet. “So long as she does not cause too much trouble, I would not prevent my lady from making friends where she chooses.”

“I have observed the pair of them to be far too intimate,” Valentina pressed on, now choosing to speak in a whisper only slightly lower than her natural speaking voice. Pearl had, by then, drawn Trixie closer to her side and was glaring daggers in Valentina’s direction.

Violet sighed.

“If you are worried about your brother’s match, it is outside both mine and Lady Beatrice’s best efforts to prevent it, and I would not presume to even attempt such an endeavor. As for myself, I only wish to run my household how I choose without challenge, as it is entirely my own business.”

“I apologize if I injure you with what I am about to say,” said Valentina, depositing her teacup on its dish with noticeable force. “But if you had been blessed with siblings, you would understand how much their happiness might mean to you. Alas, your mother passed away before you could, and now you will never know.”

As much as she regretted them, Valentina paid no mind to the reaction her words caused before pressing on. All pretense had been dropped, and her every word was laced with ice.

“My brother’s heart is set on this match. You could stand to be less accepting of your lady’s conduct when it has ceased to be your private business.”

She looked past Pearl, who was at the precipice of despising her from the look in her eyes, over to her intended target.

“Lady Beatrice, you must be better equipped to understand me than your gentle mistress. You have a cherished sister, and I can imagine you would do anything in your power to ensure her happiness.”

Violet did not allow any further discussion. She politely thanked Valentina for the tea, and excused her party, stating that she did not wish to invite any further blows upon their friendship.

Once they had reached their quarters, she took Trixie aside.

“I do not wish to take away your happiness,” she said, looking her in the eye for once. “But it would be prudent for you to reduce the amount of time you spend with Lady Katya. I will call Kim back from her travels to make it easier on you.”

Having no choice but to comply, Trixie nodded stiffly. Violet let her go after vocalizing her intention to call on Katya herself, so as not to implicate Trixie in making the decision.

***

Katya was becoming resigned to her fate, and was thus fading before Trixie’s eyes. The liveliness of spirit that had so attracted her from the start was much diminished by the thought her impending nuptials. When she was able to spend time with Katya in private, it was most often for the purpose of engaging in desperate lovemaking, and holding her while she contemplated her future in fear.

Having Violet tell her that Trixie was obliged to distance herself at her request had shaken Katya, though she did not blame Trixie for it. It did make it more difficult for any professions of eternal love and constancy to hold much water, for as sincere as they were neither was in full control of keeping her word. It broke Trixie’s heart to see her so unhappy, and to have no possible way to ease her pain. Her own pain was buried as deep as she could, in the manner she was accustomed to whenever she had cause for unhappiness.

Valentina had presented Trixie with a beautiful harp, as a consolation gift for her sacrifice. She had included a note to express her continued regard for her, and to apologize for her harsh words. She was pleased to see that she was the sort of girl who could listen to reason, and thanked her for her part in ensuring her brother’s happiness.

With the suspicion that she would regret it, Trixie included a promise to play her new harp at teatime in her thank you note, so that Valentina would not think her ungrateful. She had hoped it would be ignored as a mere formality, but Valentina was quick to hold her to it. It was requested that she accompany Violet and the rest of her household to their next scheduled teatime engagement. Since Violet had been true to her word in summoning Kim, and now encouraged her to act as an extra lady-in-waiting out of sympathy towards Trixie, acquiescing to Valentina’s request did not trouble her too much. The harp could rot after a single use.

Trixie had never considered Valentina to be the vindictive sort, not until recently. Sure, she tended towards more extravagance than was required to denote her status, and was as excessively proud as any member of royalty might be, but never actively malicious. She hoped that there was no intent to harm on Valentina’s part when, upon arriving at teatime, she noticed that Katya had also been invited. Yet, considering her treatment of her as of late, Trixie would not put it past her.

“I hope you will allow me to include my dearest sister,” said Valentina, airily. “I have only ever had brothers, so it is quite a novel thing for me to enjoy the company of a sister. I trust you will be so kind as to not begrudge me of the pleasure.”

Trixie felt a derisive pang of sympathy for Valentina’s ornamental ladies, who surely could act as sisters if their mistress allowed them to. Pearl and Kim, who had been briefed on the situation by Pearl upon arrival, each took one of Trixie’s hands in case her feelings might overtake her. Katya had stood upon catching sight of her, eyes hopeful, but rushing over to embrace her as she wished to would be most unwise. Lady Valentina had decided to amuse herself by testing Trixie’s resolve, and Trixie was not one to bow before a challenge by nature. She cast tender eyes at Katya as she was led to be seated with her friends, too far to spare a single word for her beloved.

Violet used all the composure that had been drilled into her since birth not to show her displeasure, though Trixie could only guess at the source of her ill humour. Perhaps the tea was not to her liking. Valentina was engrossed in conversation with her dear sister Katya, who looked mildly distressed as she nodded along to Valentina’s advice about how to navigate life in her kingdom. Her eyes often darted over to Trixie, who was kept engaged by Pearl and Kim until Valentina urged her to keep her promise. Thus, she was led to her shiny new harp, which had made its way to Valentina’s sitting room through Fame’s kindness.

It was mortifying, but if Trixie focused on playing the harp and let the music remove her from her surroundings, it became easier to bear the indignation of being so blatantly put in her place. She was barely conscious of how she sounded, only of playing and letting the soothing quality of doing something she knows well ease her spirits. She did not attend to the passage of time, and was quite deep in her trance until someone laid her hands on her wrists to stop her playing.

“I was worried about your hands,” Katya said, softly into her ear. She brought her hands closer so she could check them for injury.

“Thank you,” Trixie said. “You are too kind, Lady Katya. I do not have very delicate fingers, though, so you need not worry.”

Katya let out a small laugh. “You’re right. Your fingers are like leather. I like the feel of them, though.”

Trixie couldn’t help smiling back, as she gently pried her hands out of Katya’s grip. She did this slowly enough that she could savour her touch for a moment longer, letting the tips of her fingers linger over Katya’s before pulling back.

Valentina cleared her throat.

“Lady Beatrice, you stopped so suddenly! Won’t you delight us a moment longer?” she asked, the very picture of guilelessness.

“I think she has delighted us long enough,” said Violet, sounding like the queen she would become one day. “I almost went to examine her poor hands myself. Any longer and she will surely wear her fingers to the bone.”

Valentina pursed her lips and agreed, summoning the sweetness back to her tone as she called for Katya to resume the conversation that had been interrupted by her chivalry.

When Trixie returned to her party, Violet advised her that she would look the other way if she wished to visit Katya later that night, shielding their conversation with a fan. Trixie was then able to apologize to Katya for any coldness in her manner towards her, while Katya laid kisses on her fingertips and blame for any unpleasantness on Valentina. Until then, she had only her sister, and her friend to comfort her.

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