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inkskinned · 1 year

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this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

#spilled ink #writeblr #:) lol . anybody notice how i write about dads in second person exclusively #me: haha silly cartoon #also me: ): this child is not getting what they need #also btw this is about a father but it might apply to any parent or caregiver #there's a really weird space of like #''this person was technically around me but either ignored me or was actively harmful to me''#and like u learn this very strange ritual of like... this person is my parent/caregiver on a technicality #that you almost spend all ur time with them like... tiptoeing and acting as THEIR parent so u don't upset them.#like you're 17 and ur mom is suddenly hit by a wave of wanting to talk to you so she's like :) lets make breakfast together :) and ur like #uhhhhhh okay?? bc you feel like this is absolutely going to go wrong and is why u usually make breakfast alone #and she starts being like: THIS is called a TEASPOON ... & u know all this stuff but you also know to just be very quiet #bc if you say like ''mom ive been making this breakfast every day since i was 13'' she would FREAK OUT and be like #DONT ACT LIKE I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DONT ACT LIKE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL .#so u have to smile like ur a preschool teacher and be like. OH COOL! i didn't know A CUP existed! tell me MORE! :)

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loveinhawkins · 1 year

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They’re sitting in the grass, home-made weapons cast aside in favour of trying to enjoy the last of the daylight. Eddie had found one last can of Pringles leftover from the food (… and drink) shop he’d asked for, and he’d done a stupid little celebratory dance, holding the can above his head, just to make the kids laugh.

“Dude,” Dustin says now, around the last Pringle, “you keep humming.”

“Oh.” Eddie often finds himself humming along to something unconsciously. He tilts his head in thought as he listens to himself, then snorts. “That’s your fault, man. ‘Cause you keep mentioning The Upside Down.”

“Huh?”

Eddie grins, leaps to his feet dramatically. “Upside down,” he sings, adopting a ridiculous falsetto, “boy, you turn me inside out, and ‘round ‘round.”

Nearby, he hears an honest to God cackle. He turns and is delighted to find that it’s Steve, that he can actually get an ugly laugh out of him. It’s a fucking spectacular laugh, Eddie thinks.

“God, why’d you have to do that?” Steve says. “Now it’s gonna be stuck in my head.”

“Aw,” Dustin says, dry as the Sahara, “maybe we don’t need your guitar, Eddie. We can just sing that and embarrass Vecna to death.”

Before Eddie can even begin to act all mock offended, Steve laughs again and says, “That’s rich coming from you, Henderson.”

And well, Eddie knows a story when he hears one. “Oh?” he says, giving Dustin an over the top waggle of his eyebrows. “Have I been missing out on your dulcet tones?”

Steve grins. “Something like that.”

“Nope!” Dustin gives Steve a harsh glare. “That information is classified and it’s, uh, not essential to the lore, okay and—”

“To the what?”

“—and,” Dustin presses on, “Eddie still thinks I’m cool, don’t you, Eddie?”

“Coolest person I know,” Eddie says, and though he delivers it tongue in cheek, he does mean it.

Steve’s teasing grin softens into a genuine smile, like he can hear Eddie’s honesty. “Fine, fine. You’re safe for now. But Eddie is owed a dramatic reenactment at some point, dude.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dustin waves Steve aside, runs off to play an impromptu game of tag with Erica. He calls back, “Keep it for after we’ve saved the world! Again.”

Eddie chuckles. “Very cool kid,” he reiterates.

Steve scoffs, but nods fondly. Then, after a moment, he says, “Damn you, it is in my head.” And he gives Eddie a tiny wink, and does the world’s most ridiculous little shoulder shimmy as he sings under his breath, “I said, ‘Upside down, you’re turning me, you’re giving love instinctively…’”

Eddie almost wishes he could invent time travel, just so he could tell his younger self that one day Steve Harrington will sing fucking Diana Ross to him.

And maybe it’s foolish, to feel so happy right now, in this moment, but Eddie can’t bring himself to care. All he knows is that his stomach gives a little swoop as Steve trails off from singing into more laughter, and it feels warm. Feels something like hope.

#let them be silly together <3 & also keep thinking about them trying to keep things lighthearted even if it’s just for a little while #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve x eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #dustin henderson #eddie and dustin #steve and dustin #henderfam

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year

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what kind of favour do you require in exchange for an equineswap jiang yanli

I will fight god if that's what it takes.

No favour required! These guys were in the original doodle dump!

#mdzs #equineswap au #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #There were a lot more horses that were supposed to go into that first equineswap post...but I got short on time to clean them up #All the siblings have winding cutie marks! Maybe its a yunmeng thing or maybe its just a representation of their bond #the little cutie mark stamp is cute but lets have some variation! lets play around with it!#that sais...the temptation to make JYL's mark soup was very strong. But too silly and too much of a disservice to her character.#Even though her main usage of powers in this au is probably just to make soup #They are a little horse posse...trotting around together was the real magic all along....#Oh god if this follows canon wwx gives up his horn in illegal horn transplant surgery #do you think wen qing carves and dyes it so it looks similar to JC's original horn? She *has* to...right?#Anyways! Thank you beloved mutual Stackedbirds for giving me an excuse to post this!#PS: I would do anything u asked without incentive btw. Just putting that out there

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chirpsythismorning · 5 months

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What they're saying is s5 is going to have Hawkins High School as one of the locations for the plot. What I'm hearing is jealous Mike opportunities...

#byler #st5 speculation #will is seen as wanted by 3+ girls (1 being imaginary in mike's mind)#bc the protagonist (mike) is pining after him #how many movies/shows have you seen where the protagonist is in love with someone that everyone else wants?#it makes the person feel extra unattainable bc they could have anyone they want #which makes them getting together with the protagonist at the end feel all the more impactful #but after 4 seasons of girls hitting on will #i'm gonna need the final boss...#aka a boy #and mike witnessing it...#or another girl and mike witnessing it idc #will is just hilarious whenever it happens too bc he's like ummm i'm just a silly guy idk what's going on #but if it was a boy... that might be interesting #as much as i'm hoping for jealous mike #i think it's a lot more likely we're getting the party being hunted down #and will/mike being targeted in the case anyone catches wind of their queerness...#so...#let me imagine it's more lighthearted than that while i still can

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goldiipond · 7 months

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secret wolfpack adventures [REAL]

#skye's doodles #wanted something silly to practice drawing comics hsdfdg i had a lot of fun with this. my favorite besties the autism creatures <3 #will never change my mind theyre one of the best dynamics in the series. we shouldve gotten to see way more of them being dorks together #need more acknowledgement of gildas weirdgirl swag tbh. girl threatened to blow up a grown man's home at age 10 let her cause problems <3 #i havd not watched ot/gw but i have seen this particular scene a few times and it lives in my head rent free. i want to steal #the promised neverland #tpn #yakusoku no neverland #tpn don #tpn gilda #tpn ayshe

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good-beanswrites · 9 months

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I talked about my Milgram actors theory earlier, but @amugoffandoms reminded me I also have a little emotional support au version of the idea I’ve been meaning to chat about! It's actually not a typical actors au -- the canon events still happen, but are staged by the in-universe Milgram organization.

(Edit, now with a fic!)

Just like in canon, the organization has a mysterious/supernatural ability to identify and track down ten specific people at their breaking point. In this au, though, it's ten people who could have committed crimes soon. They discreetly reach out to these individuals, requesting for them to be actors in their experiment. They say there will be someone playing a prison guard, and explain the premise. With a bit of coaxing or bribing for a few, they all accept.

Milgram ensures these newfound “prisoners” don’t need to change many details about their lives – the less lies to keep track of, the easier it would be for these ordinary people to pull off such an extensive con.

Some of them are exactly as they were right before their murders, such as Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Kotoko. Haruka, his sister, and Amane did go through traumatic abuse, but it was Milgram that pulled them out of the situation before they resorted to murder. Mikoto is/has been aware of his alters for a while at this point.

Some of the others are taken from their lives after things that could have ended fatally turned out alright: Shidou’s family got into an accident but all recovered; Milgram picked up on his private realization that he would have done anything to save them, were the damage worse. Mahiru and Kazui’s partners attempted/considered suicide, but did not succeed. In Mahiru’s case, they reached a friendship despite breaking up. I still don’t know enough about Kazui’s wife, but I like to think they’re pretty separate now.

The ten prisoners weren’t allowed to meet beforehand, but they individually collaborated with the Milgram team to write the lyrics for their t1 songs and film their videos. I'll mention more about the other actors later, but the filming process is a lot of fun. Though the topics confront them with some unsavory thoughts about themselves, it's a good time singing and acting and getting the giggles on set and everything.

Milgram pulls Es from wherever they were for whatever reason, wipes their memory, and drops them into the prison. The prisoners are unaware that Es didn't come willingly, as they all did.

Once the experiment begins, everyone’s interactions that we’ve seen to this point are genuine. The prisoners get to know each other, while they come to terms with the fact that themselves and these others all had murderous potential. Their personalities, behaviors, and stories from their lives are all true. In the interrogations, they speak honestly to Es about their values and choices. The only faked things are the actual references to the murders, and the “invisible force” that they pretend to hit when acting in violence. Mikoto is instructed to use a bit of violence during his interrogation, though Kotoko sneaking in wasn’t scripted – she genuinely had her concerns about his character and acted accordingly.

While Es sleeps after T1, the prisoners are treated the same regardless of verdict. They provide the team with their genuine thoughts about one another to decide what the staged incidents should be. Kotoko doesn’t actually hate the guilty prisoners, but she recognizes she would’ve wanted to take justice into her own hands in a real situation. Amane is very upset but Es' verdict, but the team helps her dramatize her transformation a bit. Haruka and Muu genuinely get that close. Yuno does wish to be left alone.

They film their second trial videos, now allowed to be around the other prisoners as they do so. They also invite people in their life to come in and play their victims. Yes, it’s just as awkward as it sounds. This is where the prisoners do their real reflection – they think about Es’ verdict for them and what they could have been capable of. There’s a bit of relief from both parties knowing that things will turn out alright now that Milgram intervened (ironic, I know, but this is my fix-it hehe). Shidou’s kids are excited to be filmed, not really understanding the context. Haruka once again works with an actor playing his younger self, a bit put off by how similar they look and the memories he bring back. Haruka’s mother, Rei, and Amane’s cult members (if they appear) are some of the only characters played by strangers, though they do look strikingly similar to the real people. Fuuta’s victim is also played by a stranger. Things are still tense with Hinako, but she agrees to appear.

The team helps the prisoners fake injuries with lots bandages and slings. Then they wake Es. The same is repeated for T2/T3.

Now, I’ve played out a few different paths depending on my angst tolerance at the moment – sometimes Es goes through with the third trial verdicts and is forced to watch the executions (not realizing they're cleverly staged). Sometimes they refuse, finding a way to stop the whole experiment. Sometimes the prisoners realize that Es has been an unwilling participant, and bring the experiment to a stop themselves. Sometimes someone jams a wrench in the mv machine and try to blow it up in order for everything to end before final verdicts.

Because of limited details, the ending can play out however one wants. But my go-to is that Es wake up sometime afterwards in a clean facility filled with scientists. They’re brought to an interrogation room – this time on the other side of the questioning. They’re asked about their motivations, actions, emotions, choices, verdicts (or the reason they rebelled at the very end). A few doors down, the prisoners are being asked similar questions of self-reflection and morality.

Es demands to know what’s going on, while the team tries to assure them that the prisoners are all fine. Es doesn’t buy this, though. They know what kind of mind games the experiment has tried to pull, and can’t tell what’s truth or lie anymore. Things get heated as they demand to see the prisoners. Meanwhile, the prisoners are getting worked up asking about Es. If they haven't already, this is when they learn that Es was an actual prisoner there the whole time. The last time they were together the situation was very intense, and they’re all incredibly worried about them.

In the end, they manage to break out of their rooms and reunite in the middle of the facility, and Es is shocked. All ten are alive and well, even those they may have seen die. No eyes or limbs are missing. They’re all laughing and getting along, no matter what kinds of fights they got into between trials. Even more shocking is when the victims join them later – also all alive and happy.

The ending has a bit of unavoidable angst since Es would be pretty fucked up by the whole experiment. They’d struggle with trust issues and knowing what’s reality. However, it’s still an overwhelmingly happy ending. They get to befriend the prisoners and their families outside of the painful context they met in. Regretting their ignorance of the situation, the prisoners decide to make up for lost time and spend a lot of positive, quality time with Es. The kids are finally allowed to play, and the they finally let the adults act a bit protective over them. This is when the found family completely kicks in lol. Es gets to sleep easy knowing they are all alive and happy, they receive all their memories again, and they get to return home to their own family.

I added it to a reblog but editing with @/qrevo's tags because this is what I was looking for but couldn't quite pin down to make it healing for Es too: