#let me put it this way

[pastafossa]

Miss pasta, in honor of Matt and Jane’s hot/cold dynamic- Would you rather be burning hot or freezing cold?

THIS IS AN AMAZING QUESTION AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

I stand... WITH JANE AND COLD. I will take freezing cold ALL DAY, because if I'm freezing, I know I can fix it. Am I cold? Cuddle with Matt Put on a sweater. Still cold? Nother jacket. Still cold? Blankets. Still cold? More blankets. Still cold? MORE. BLANKETS. Still cold? Give up oh wait no, what's that??? Come closer, come here-

MORE.

BLANKETS.

HOT ON THE OTHER HAND??? Too hot? Take off your shirt. Still hot? Take off your pants. Still hot? Take off your underwear while considering disregarding puritanical nudity laws to streak naked through sprinklers before realizing that under the cruelty of the american justice system*, prison will be even hotter. Still hot? Lay weeping in a puddle of your own sweat on the floor and curse the existence of an uncaring universe. Still hot? Shave your head in a last ditch attempt to release heat. Still hot? Too bad, you die now, a living fire trapped within a sticky meat casing covered in salt and condensation and bitterness.

**if non-american, skip this step.

#let me put it this way #i now live in one of the coldest cities in the continetal us and I am *happy* about it 😂 #i call matt and jane penguins but i too am a penguin #i'm content at 65 or below #tolerate things at 70 #mildly miffed at 75 #and miserable at 80 or above #GIVE ME COLD

[edenslostwallflower]

sindays are always so fun when u and ur muse are somewhere ace-spec so it's like... i'm not opposed to nsfw, and i love the idea of shipping. i just literally don't think of it. spicy thoughts? nah fam my brain is full of marshmallow fluff. talk to me about ships and my first thought is 'ye they can be best friends totally!!' i don't think leanna is conventionally attractive enough (both physically and personality wise) for people to even entertain the idea of shipping but it's open..

#;; mun chatter #let me put it this way #its best friends - > lovers and little else #it's both sides are pining but never make a move and little else #it's one side is pining cause they think the other doesn't like em but the other one is just DENSE. #she just logics her way out of being flirted with and its a pain in the butt #'oh they were flirting with you' #'...i thought they were just being n i c e ???????' #chemistry takes priority homie #i want one or both parties going '...oh.'

[enniewritesathing]

Hm. Realized that Brian and Were!John are similar in the fact of how they got their freedom.

:)

#iykyk #let me put it this way #it came up one night and brian told him what happened #idk what the context other than i think he felt like he needed to hear it #were!john was very quiet as he listened #after brian finished he told him he loved him anyway #this also can explain Brian's... nonchalantness? idk what the word i use #because he'd been in something similar and he really sympathized yknow? #i think i talked about this before 🤔 #a text post #non sims #oc things #werewolf shenanigans

[msboutofcontext]

#magic school bus #out of context #ms frizzle #da #dorothy ann #let me put it this way #woohoo #up up and away #lul bye #bye-bye #yeet #i'm outta here #aight imma head out #gravity #basketball #Gains Weight

[el-im]

is getting called into office hours a thing??? does this happen to you often????

:/

#asks #let me put it this way #thoughout the course of my college carreer i have repeatedly #and by multiple professors #for a duplicity of reasons #been asked to meet with them individually after turning in my 1st writing assignment for their class #it has not usually been because i called their syllabus stupid or implied that they shouldn't be teaching #but #there is a first time for everything

[woundedheartwithin]

Josh Hartnett carrying a very bloody Kimura Takuya bridal style after uncrucifying him at the end of I Come with the Rain was the best part of the whole fucking movie, let’s be real

Oh and Lee Byung-hun shirtless and slipping around in that guy’s blood somewhere around the halfway point

#she speaks #uh… #spoilers #I guess #I watched it to see if it was something my parents might enjoy #it’s not lol #let me put it this way #it was about what I expected when I saw the entire soundtrack was done by Radiohead #so #do with that what you will

[aquariansarehumanitarians]

My vocaloid red flag is that I really like Kitsune no Yomeiri

However IN MY DEFENSE: why did they make the song slap so hard if they didn’t want me to listen to it, hmm???

#let me put it this way #usually when I have a vocaloid song I really like I get the strong urge to cover it in English #I have NO SUCH URGE for this song #I don’t want those words in my mouth #please don’t look up this song if you don’t know it already bbbb #BIG TW for cannibalism murder and being aroused by those things??? #for those of you whose curiosity shall get the better of you

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[starburstgalexies]

Repetitive thoughts when playing on lore-accurate-Lumine-only account:

wow both twins are hot. no wonder they get so much ass holy shit.

i wish natlan was out i wish natlan was out i wiSH NATLAN WAS OUT I WISH-

#sure i can swirl if there is a fire source but if there isn't... #let me put it this way #i cry against a wooden-shield churl in the ascension domain #even for the electro cube at least i have dendro #ales of alex #alex impacted

[baggy-holmes]

Dm you for your snap?

No 🩷

#anon #answered asks #let me put it this way #if i want you to have it #i will give it to you #thank you :)

[comradekatara]

> be zuko

> try desperately to ingratiate yourself within the avatar’s friend group (to no avail, of course, because you have terrible social skills, and previously tried to kill them, also)

> try to fight off the human wmd you previously hired to blow them all up

> fail miserably, because he is indestructible

> watch as sokka effortlessly kills him with a very precise boomerang throw to the brain

> suddenly recall every single time you got hit in the head by his boomerang

> feel immense gratitude for what you had previously dismissed as uncle’s obnoxiously stringent and paranoid over-emphasis on the importance of helmet safety

#zuko #sokka #combustion man #iroh #sokka could’ve taken down all of unanimity with his boomerang #he and yangchen would’ve been the fucking dream team fr #altho i guess jujinta also has rly precise aim so he basically fulfills that role #but like. sokka has precise aim AND everything else kavik has (except for waterbending but like. he doesn’t even need it) #anyway. these tags are not relevant to the post at all #also i think zuko would like the helmet bc a) they’re regulation so he feels more militaristic in them and b) they cover his scar #but for the purposes of this joke of he hates the way they compress on his skull and he also whines before iroh makes him put it on #honestly both are equally plausible to me #so let’s just say it’s a combination thereof

[nudevastate]

look i like watching hannibal as much as the next person but if will graham didn't have the bone structure and that brooding look that some of you love to death, he'd just come off as some stereotypical creepy guy.

#like sometimes the way things he says and how he looks saying them is like #let me put it this way #it's like that guy you are forced to talk to during lunch when you're working or at a school #and he abruptly tells you that he thinks he's a bonafide psychopath because he watches gore and liveleaks for fun #while doing that neck craning shit whkejrhe #even will graham and how he looks now doesn't get my coochie wet at all i don't get it

[fingolfinwiththesteelchair]

It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible research transport vessel. Things are progressing as normal (i.e. it's boring) when a SecUnit pings you, lies right to your metaphorical face, and then tries to bribe you with human media to give it a ride. This is as unexpected as it is unprecedented, and the sheer nerve of it is really to be admired. There's no protocol to this, so what should you do?

Now, this is against a bunch of rules, and could be dangerous if you weren't so impressive and incredible, and you're technically an employee (and can probably rewrite the Univeristy charter at will (until someone notices and puts it back)) so those rules are for other entities.

So, what you should do is allow the rogue SecUnit with a broken governor module and a sketchy story aboard. If you check the files it dumps and find zero (0) malware (which is confusing), and it doesn't even try to trash the place or lay in wait to ambush a crew member, then you've got a good candidate!

Next, what you're going to want to do is absolutely nothing. Just watch it patrol your halls until it's time to leave. Continue staring at it while you're undergoing embarkment procedures. Maybe analyze it a little (you've got plenty of processing power to spare) when it finally sits down and starts watching media. Allow it to settle in and get comfortable while you stare at it and get further and further from port.

Now that you two are alone (intimacy is key!) and you've determined that watching media is all the SecUnit is going to do, it's time to make contact! Make sure to open by telling it it's only survived due to dumb luck, and letting it know you could melt its brain into putty. This starter will work to develop conversation naturally and smoothly, just like you've seen the humans do, and it will be smooth sailing from there!

This has been Perihelion's guide to making friends/finding life partners/fuck off Holism I had to work hard for this find your own

#murderbot diaries #murderbot #perihelion #it was not smooth sailing #it took ART about ten minutes to get secunit into a snit so bad it shut down out of spite #but they make it work somehow #tbh despite the rocky start if ART weren’t so ART i don't think the relationship would have lasted #ART is overbearing and kind of a bully and it earned its nickname very well #but i think thats why secunit can get along with it because it comes across as more genuine #mb was distrustful and a little patronizing to miki so while they COULD have been friends if canon hadn't happened it took it until miki #died to realize miki was being genuine about the friendship #whereas with ART MB can be like what we have is weird and I'm not gonna put a label on it #these tags have gotten away from me #anyway can you imagine ART having to explain to Iris and Seth WHY it let SecUnit on?? #like it could have justified it any which way but at the end of the day art was bored and then curious and then intrigued

[stuckinapril]

people ask me what my plan for next year is without realizing that they are literally talking to a girl who’s anxious just to get out of her bed

#like how do i tell you in a nice way that i DONT wanna talk about that. #this always happens at the end of the year like !!! my system is in overdrive rn let me Be #i will figure it out on my own time . do not put me on the spot like this #p

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power. #Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes. #But sit with me for a moment. Consider it: #“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled. #I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me. #I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon. #I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette. #'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!' #I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man! #I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends. #My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away. #As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!' #I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!' #Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes #and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her??? #Chapter 2 is so much worse #Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!! #This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God. #It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here? #I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.

[starrystevie]

steve's desperate, okay?

he's officially running late for his first date with linda because he couldn't find his car keys and the shirt he wanted to wear just wasn't working so he had to grab something out of his hamper and throw it on blindly which then messed up his hair and he almost forgot to brush his teeth again but remembered as he opened the front door and-

he only realizes he forgot to put on cologne once he makes it halfway to her house and smells himself. the shirt from the hamper smells stale, not bad, just stale. and steve in his normal, non-rushed state wouldn't have noticed because his trusty calvin klein would have covered it up but today is apparently not a day for things to go right.

with a sigh of frustration, steve pulls into the hook's drugstore a little too quickly and it makes his stomach lurch the tiniest bit before sliding into an open parking sport at the front door. he rushes in, pushing the door open with too much force and books it to the fragrance aisle.

"this is so fucking stupid," he mutters to himself, unable to be heard by any surrounding shoppers over the annoyingly loud jingle playing through the speakers.

steve skids to halt in front of the cologne section, crouching down and scanning quickly over the tester bottles for obsession. once he spots the amber bottle, he yanks it towards himself, spraying as much as he can onto his chest given the awkward angle he's at. as he stands back up, steve pulls his shirt collar up towards his nose and the ball of nerves in his stomach loosens at the familiar smell. he may be late but he feels like he's back in the game.

checking his watch, he sees just how late he is and makes a beeline for the door, nearly running into an older lady with far too many rolls of toilet paper in her tiny arms. as he dodges around her and extends his arm to push open the door, he hears a loud voice over the intercom.

"you're not going to buy anything after stealing cologne?"

steve stops, freezes where he is and frantically turns his head around to spot the cashier grinning at him. he has long hair and a bright red hook's drugstore vest over a denim vest which doesn't look very comfortable. he has chains in his jeans and handcuffs holding his belt closed and a smirk that is trying to kill him and oh-

"wait, stealing cologne?" steve shakes himself back into existence as the old lady pushes by him without dropping a single roll on the way back to her car. "you're going to call me putting on a few sprays stealing?"

the cashier's smile just gets bigger, like a cat hunting down a canary. steve's never felt like a canary before but can't deny that it's an exciting feeling.

"well, on a good day i wouldn't. but i'm bored and you didn't buy a single thing so technically, yes. you're stealing, pretty boy."

steve fights the urge to roll his eyes and put his hands on his hips, so instead he crosses them over his chest, cologne wafting up from the movement and reminding him that he doesn't have time for this no matter how cute the cashier may be.

he makes his way over to the counter, grabs a pack of gum and slams it on the counter. without breaking eye contact with eddie, as his nametag suggests, he throws him a salty smile of his own and pulls his wallet out from his back pocket.

eddie's eyes are a deep brown with a glimmer of something behind them and his hands are covered in rings making his fingers look long and strong. the jeans he has on are ripped on one of the the thighs, showing a hint of a tattoo to match the ones crawling up his arms. steve's no stranger to thinking men are attractive but this guy? he's on a new level. his heart thumps painfully in his chest when eddie's grin grows larger as he watches steve give him a once over. it thumps even harder when eddie gives him a once over of his own.

the clock above the register shows that he's officially 20 minutes late to picking up... laura? lisa?

no, linda. damnit.

eddie looks down at the gum and then back up at steve, quirking up an eyebrow. "i hardly think this monetarily equates to a bottle of cologne but-"

"oh come on!" steve huffs. eddie laughs and it's clear and bright, ringing off the cinderblock walls louder than the annoying jingle that's still playing. whatever fight steve may have had left in him drains away at the sound and suddenly he isn't thinking about the clock anymore. he feels his shoulders fall down to a more relaxed state, feels himself shift his weight on his feet to look more natural than ready to run at a moments notice.

"just kidding, man." eddie rings up the gum quickly and hands it back to steve. "sorry, you looked like you were in a rush. i shouldn't have created a scene just because i'm bored."

steve chuckles. "i'm already supremely late for my date so what's another five minutes. especially if it gets me..." he looks at the gum packet to look at what he even picked up in the first place. "... spearmint freshen-up gum."

"well there you go," eddie says, grin smaller than before, "a perfect thing to get for a date. everyone likes their date to be minty fresh for that first kiss."

it strikes somewhere in steve that he isn't expecting. the beemer is still out in the parking lot running so he didn't have to waste time, his watch on his wrist feels heavy, the scent of obsession overpowering. but he can't make himself move. he wants to stay and talk to eddie, wants to learn about what makes him tick.

"can i borrow your phone?" steve asks. eddie's eyebrows furrow but he reaches for the store phone and places the console on top of the counter.

"for what?"

steve look through his wallet, finding the piece of paper with linda's number on it. holding the receiver between his shoulder and ear, he dials in her number and holds his pointer finger up at eddie, signaling that he'll need a second. steve then brings the finger to his lips and shushes with his cheek pulling up in a smirk. eddie's eyes zero in on the motion and it feels like steve's gone from being the canary back to the cat.

"linda? hey it's steve."

he watches as eddie mouths steve back at him and then nods to himself when he gets the confirmation that it is indeed his name. steve throws him a wink for good measure.

"i know i'm late and i'm really really sorry to cancel last minute but-. oh. yeah, sure. have a good time. okay bye li-."

on the other end of the line, linda slams down the phone without waiting for steve to finish talking and it makes him wince with how loud it is in his ear. he gives eddie a sheepish smile, all toothy and guilt-ridden, and gently puts the receiver back down.

"what was that?" eddie asks with a disbelieving look on his face. steve shrugs.

"she got tired of waiting so she already had another guy lined up to come pick her up."

eddie sucks in air through his teeth and mimes getting shot in the heart. it has steve laughing as he falls over on the counter, hair covering his face. he turns his head to peer up at steve through the curtain of curls, the one brown eye that's visible twinkling in the harsh overhead light.

"was it true love? are you just absolutely heartbroken?"

steve thinks about it for less than a second. watches how eddie curls back up one vertebrae at a time before placing his elbows on the counter and leaning over. watches how eddie's eyes flit between his own and his lips. watches how he focuses on the latter for a little while too long.

"why would i be heartbroken," steve starts. he's being too forward, too brash, but with eddie looking at him that way, he knows he can be. "when you'll probably be on break soon and can make it up to me? you know, for making me even more late and all."

eddie's grin grows wide again. "oh really?"

steve shrugs once more with a playful look of consideration on his face, resting on his elbows to match eddie on the counter. "yes, really. this is your payback for being bored and taking it out on me."

it's later when eddie's on break and steve hasn't left the drugstore in over an hour and they're sitting in his car with bowie playing through the speakers that eddie looks up at him with a look steve knows well.

"you do smell really good, y'know." his voice is softer than steve's heard it all day.

"so are you glad i came in to steal cologne?" steve leans closer over the center console to get into eddie's personal space. there's a hand curling over his bicep and pulling him even closer, their faces only centimeters apart.

"i guess i'll let it slide this time, thief."

and when they kiss for the first time, it tastes like the freshen-up gum they both had been nonstop chewing ever since steve paid for it.

#did drugstores back then have fragrance aisles let alone samplers? who's to say just go with it #inspired by me looking cute for work today and forgetting to put on my perfume and wondering if i should stop in to target on my way in #steddie #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddie headcanon #steve harrington #eddie munson #my writing #steddie fic #is this realistic? absolutely not but ignore that for the blorbos sake #stranger things #stranger things fic