#less than i thought ? like longer but also shorter .? u know ? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

isa-belle1367 · 1 month

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Hi I hope you are well. I have a question for you. How do you think Desmond would react being flung back to Rome, 1500 (AC Brotherhood) shortly before Ezio arrived? Extra layer is he is sixteen again.

SAY LESS OMG but I kind of want Ezio to find Desmond right as he gets flung back when hes the most confused and still figuring everything out. For drama!

"Desmond, don't listen to her! She wants to trick you!" Minerva called out.

"If I don't the world will burn!" I countered.

"Better to burn then unleash her onto it."

Juno spoke up. "Desmond, this is the only way!"

She was right. The world was crumbling around us, the earth shook violently, nearly throwing me to the ground. There was no other choice. I needed to stop this.

I turned to my friends. "Get as far away as you can!"

My dad grabbed my shoulder. "No, we'll find another way-"

I cut him off. "There's no time. Go now!" I yelled at them.

He gave me a pained look; I could tell he wanted to argue, to drag me from the temple, but we both knew. I needed to do this, so the earth would be saved, so they would be saved.

He gave me one final hug, before quickly turning to push Rebecca and Shaun out of the temple.

I turned back to the eye.

"Don't do this Desmond!" Minerva cried.

"You have to!" Juno shouted.

I took a deep breath, hovering my hand over the eye. I knew I wasn't getting out of this; this was the end of my story.

"I'm sorry Minerva." I pressed my hand down on the eye.

The last thing I heard was Minerva crying out "Wait Desm-"

I was enveloped in pain; I felt my body burning from the inside out. My hand tried to pull away from the eye, but I couldn't. My hand was stuck to the eye.

Everything around me began to fade away. Soon even the pain faded away. I was left with nothing, floating in an emptiness forever.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, but soon a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere spoke up.

"No, it's not right. He needs more time." The voice echoed. It sounded old, older than the earth. Older than the stars.

A new voice spoke up, but this one sounded like a young child, full of innocence and purity. "Then change it."

"But what to do with him?" The old voice asked.

"Put him with something familiar, he deserves it after all."

The old voice hummed in thought. "I know, how about this?"

With that, my entire world change, I could see, smell, and fuck feel again. While the void was peaceful, it wasn't me.

I gasped clutching my side, as I doubled over. My hand connected with stone. I felt like I had just woken up from a millennia long nap, my limbs felt numb. I looked down at my hand on the stone beneath me. It felt familiar?

I looked up, I was in an alleyway. Just outside of the alley was a bustling market. Everyone was dressed like it was the 1500s. Was this some kind of renaissance fair?

I looked down at my body, I was still in my jeans and hoodie, but they either grew, or I shrunk.

"What happened?" I muttered to myself. My voice was raspy like I hadn't drunken water for a month. I looked down at my body, something was different. I noticed my limbs were lankier and more awkward. I was also much skinnier and shorter than before. I also noticed my hair was longer, much longer. It covered my eyes making it slightly difficult to see.

Just then someone walked past the alley. His voice grabbed my attention.

"Machiavelli, we need the trust of the people."

I froze, looking up. It couldn't be...

Just a few feet ahead of me, was Ezio Auditore, speaking to Machiavelli. I blinked, then blinked again.

"Ezio?" I muttered out loud. It was barely audible.

Ezio glanced down the alley, his eyes landing on me. He quickly whispered something to Machiavelli before starting towards me.

My mind was racing. What do I do? Do I run, do I scream, do I ignore him?

before I could figure out what to do, he was in front of me, he crouched down next to me.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked.

"U-um, yeah, j-just fell..."

"That cut doesn't look like a fall." He said while pointing to my lip.

I was suddenly aware of the pain on the left side of my face. I reached up a hand, wincing as I felt the cut. It was fresh, it then dawned on me. This was the same cut that I got when I was sixteen. But how had it reopened?

"I'll be fine." I said as I tried to stand up. I had to use the wall for support. My legs nearly gave out from under me.

Ezio quickly pressed a hand against my back, steading me.

"Your clothes are... different. Not from here?"

I silently cursed. If I was right and this was the 1500s, of course they wouldn't have jeans and hoodies.

"Um, no." I said as I began to make my way out of the alley.

Ezio stood in front of me before I could get any farther. "That cut does not look good, you should see a doctor."

I reached up a hand, blood continued to poor out of the cut, making me lightheaded. I should go to a doctor, but I had no money.

"I don't have money." I mumbled.

Ezio glanced around. "Well, I'm new to the city as well, so why don't we go meet up with my friend and find a doctor."

I paused for a moment. Walking with Ezio and Machiavelli could allow me to clear my head and help me figure out what the hell was going on.

I decided to take Ezio up on his offer, I nodded.

"Alright, c'mon." Ezio said while leading me out of the alley back towards Machiavelli, who was looking rather impatient.

Machiavelli, stood with his arms crossed, while tapping his foot.

"Are you finally done?" He asked impatiently.

Ezio just sighed. "Do you know where a doctor is, he's injured."

Machiavelli looked me up and down, clearly staring at my clothes.

I fumbled with my sleeve. I was now suddenly aware of the fact that my hidden blade had come with me, and the only thing that was hiding it was my sleeve.

He sighed, turning back to Ezio. "None that the Borgia will let us use."

"So, the Borgia's word is law now?" Ezio asked.

"What are you implying?"

While they talked, I looked at my surroundings. It was a crowded market near a blacksmith. I glanced to the other side, looking up. I saw a large Borgia tower looming nearby.

"And how would you even remove their influence?" Machiavelli demanded.

I spoke up. "Kill the captain, burn down the tower." I said while pointing to the nearby tower.

They both stared at me.

Ezio spoke up first. "I like his thinking." He said with a grin.

"Ezio, you can't possibly be considering this."

"I'm not considering it; I've already decided I'm going to do it." Ezio stated while beginning to make his way towards the tower.

"Do you even have a plan?" Machiavelli demanded.

"I'm improvising." He said with a shrug.

Once we made it over to the tower, Ezio turned to me.

"Kid, stay with Machiavelli."

I nodded, to tired and lightheaded to argue.

I sat down, leaning against the stable wall, I watch as Ezio disappeared into a crowd of people. Once I could no longer see him, I leaned my head against the stable wall, trying to stop my head from spinning.

What was even happening, based on my appearance, I had a pretty good hunch I was somehow sixteen again. I was also back in the 1500s. What was I going to do? Had I saved the world? Was this Minerva's doing? I had so many questions.

Machiavelli spoke up, breaking me out of my thoughts. "What's your name?"

I opened my eyes to look up at him, "Desmond."

His eyes widened a bit. "...Desmond?"

I nodded. "Hey, are you sure that there isn't a doctor nearby."

He was about to say something, but a loud explosion sounded from inside of the Borgia area.

I looked over to see Ezio leaping from a burning building into a cart full of hay.

Everyone was rushing around, panicking from the loud sound and fire. One of the Borgia guards came running out yelling "The captains dead!"

Ezio walked over to us. "I don't think the Borgia will give us any more trouble."

I stood up, bracing myself against the wall. "I think my unconscious body will give you some trouble if we don't find a doctor." I stated dryly.

Ezio looked over his shoulder, he scanned the area before his eyes lit up. "Look there's a doctor over there, let's get you patched up." He stated while helping me walk down the street.

After a long hour at the doctor, and me adamantly refusing to allow letches anywhere near me. I could finally leave.

I walked out into the street with Ezio, Machiavelli had left shortly after we made it to the doctor.

Ezio turned to me. "I never caught your name by the way."

"Desmond." I stated.

Ezio froze. "What?"

"My name is-" Then it hit me.

I silently cursed my scrambled memory. Desmond was the name Minerva spoke, the name that Desmond had thought about for most of his life.

I quickly cleared my throat. "u-um we should go find me some new clothes. my shirt is drenched in blood." I stated desperately hoping to change the topic.

I began to walk around looking for a tailor, but Ezio grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back to him.

Normally Ezio would only be about two inches taller than me. But now I was a scrawny teenager. Ezio now loomed over me, and he was quite intimidating.

"Your name is Desmond?" He questioned.

I swallowed, "Y-yeah, f-family name." I stuttered out.

He gave me a look before letting go of my shoulder. "We should go find a tailor to get you some new clothes."

I sighed, relaxing my shoulders a bit. "Yeah, we should." I said while turning away from him and beginning to make my way down the street.

I would have to be more careful with what I tell him now.

We quickly found a tailor. It was a small shop with not a lot of items, but it would have to do.

I bought a shirt, and pants that actually fit me. As I was getting changed, I looked down at my arm, and I nearly passed out.

Underneath my hidden blade, my hand and most of my forearm was completely blackened out. I quickly took off the hidden blade, to examine my arm closer. This was the hand that I had pressed onto the eye. On my knuckles were tiny circles with lines running up my arm.

I cursed, how the hell was I going to hide this. With my hoodie, it was way larger than me so I could use the sleeve to hide my arm. But now these clothes actually fit. I could hide the hidden blade, but not the discoloration. Ezio was already suspicious of me because my name was Desmond.

I sighed; guess I would just have to get some gloves and hope I can hide it until then.

I quickly strapped my blade back to my wrist, before pulling on my shirt and pants. They were quite comfortable actually.

I sighed, preparing myself. I walked out of the small dressing room. Ezio was waiting for me, chatting with the tailor.

I angled my arm so he couldn't see it. Once Ezio spotted me, he quickly walked over to me, grining.

"Now those clothes actually fit you." He stated.

I smiled, "Where too next?"

Ezio looked outside, "It is getting late, I was going to go meet up with Machiavelli. Do you have some where to stay?"

I pursed my lips. looking down at the ground.

Ezio seemed to understand. "Here, why don't I bring you with me to go meet up with Machiavelli until we find you some place to stay?"

I nodded. This way I could hopefully figure out more, and if all goes to hell, I could just find a way to convince Ezio to train me.

"Alright, let's go." Ezio stated, while directing me out of the tailor's

(This is so random but the 2 voices that were speaking right after Desmond touched the eye were meant to be the physical representations of time and wisdom, you guys can guess which is which)

#assassin's creed #desmond miles #ezio auditore #assassins creed brotherhood #machiavelli #silly desmond #time travel au

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vaal3nt1na · 10 months

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IFHY | kim sunoo x reader

chapter 8 - r u sure u aren’t gay?

warnings ‼️‼️

i don’t think they’re any in this chapter 😧 but lmk if i did miss any

you, heejin, chae, and hina were sat at your usual spot for lunch. the other 3 had their classes in the morning, leaving you with afternoon classes, it’s not like you minded since you got to see sunoo after this.

“and then he told me to just leave if i was going to wear this, like excuse me do you not see the girl in the front with the shortest shorts imaginable?” hina complained, apparently one of her professors had a problem with the shirt she had on, you honestly don’t see the problem. it was a simple shirt, sure it was low cut but we’re all in college so who really cares? “he’s too grown to be acting like that, he has a wife and kids at home.” you replied, you liked indulging in hina’s daily gossip or just complaints.

“i heard his wife and him are getting divorced” chaewon spoke up, placing down the sandwich she was eating. the other two girls asked endless amount of questions and pieced together a shit ton of drama that could potentially cost this man his job.

you were zoned out, scrolling thru the apps on your phone, no longer interested in the conversation the other girls were having. that’s when you noticed a girl approaching you, “excuse me?” she said, snapping you out of your thoughts. she was pretty, gorgeous even, long wavy black hair, pretty eyes, she had good style and she was tall. “yes?” you replied later than you would’ve liked. “do you know where professor lee’s room is at?”

“yes, i have him after this. i can walk you there if you’d like?” her lips curved up before she quickly replied, “i’d like that”

“oh also could i get your number? so you can text me whenever your done and we can head out together.” she asked, her phone in hand. you exchanged numbers and names and she returned to which ever table she was sitting at and you turned back to your friends.

“are you absolutely sure you aren’t gay yn?” heejin asked causing you to laugh. “what are you talking about jinnie? you’ve seen my private twitter account” you said before taking a sip from your drink.

“you looked like you were in love with that girl!”

“i just think she’s pretty” you shrugged, knowing heejin meant the whole thing as a joke.

heejin, chae, and hina left after saying there goodbyes and giving you hugs. shortly after you and sujin were walking thru the halls, “so, why’d you come here?” you peered over at her, she had a beautiful smile, it seemed to never leave her face. “i was living with my parents, it was hell i hated it so much, so i saved up and came here. they hated the idea of it but i’m an adult so i could care less” you made an o shape with your mouth. “i understand, my mom was the opposite tho, she wanted me out as soon as possible” you laughed along with sujin.

she was nice enough, had a nice sense of humor and reminded you a lot of sunoo. maybe its how she always has a smile plastered across her pretty features or how smooth her voice is, you really can’t tell. hell it might even be both. soon you made it to the class room, walking in together, laughing about some snarky remark sujin had made about the professors outfit.

sunoo was already seated, his eyes immediately fell on you, seeing you laugh like that sent butterflies straight to his stomach. your smile had to be the prettiest he’s ever seen, your laugh is his favorite sound, it plays on loop in his head. however your laugh is what makes him question why exactly your laughing, that’s when he noticed the taller(or shorter) girl next to you. sure she was pretty but sunoo would much rather look at you.

“where’s your seat?” you looked to see sunoo already seated, you pointed to the seat next to him. “there”

“so, where should i sit?” you scan the room for an empty seat, finally you find one right behind you and sunoo. “that one is empty, you can sit there” you continued the conversation from earlier as you walked to your seats. ending it almost as soon as it started.

“didn’t know you had friends other than hina, chaewon and heejin” sunoo said, as he pulled out a pencil and notebook. you rolled your eyes, “can you shut up?” he shook his head,

“i’m afraid not love” the pet name slid out of his mouth so smoothly and easily, it was as if he was saying your name. sunoo realizes this too, he’s been doing this whole petname thing since high school, yet you still aren’t used to it.

sunoo stuns himself with how easily it comes out. “would you quit it with those names” you groaned out, using your hair to shield yourself from him so he doesn’t see your flustered state. “never,” he pauses and you make the mistake of looking at him, his lips curve into a familiar smile, yet you react the same way you did the first time you realized your feelings for him and saw him smile like this. “my love” he says in a hushed tone, as to make it feel like it’s only for your ears.

you feel the heat rush up your neck and creep up your cheeks and to the tips of your ears. “stop” you whispered back, quickly turning your head back to your text books.

suddenly you feel a vibration in your pocket. hesitantly you pull it out, in some part of your head you wished it was sunoo.

previous | masterlist | next

☆ an - um so i lied 😍 chapter 9 and 10 might have written parts just bc idk how i would describe the events that r supposed to happen in text or tweet form yk? so im sorry 😞 but my wrist hurts now and i don’t wanna ever write again and i didnt re read it bc i aint reading allat‼️‼️ but new character?!!!?? how do u feel abt her? i felt like i needed to add a character so sujin is here now!!! n e ways, i’m very sorry that this is saur long me personally my jaw would’ve dropped if i saw there was a new chapter and it was this fucking long like what anyway i’m done talking have a nice night day or afternoon 💋💋!!

TAGLIST - open!

@arizejkt19 @yanagisprettygf @naddii @kkalechip @valentineluvr

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earthtooz · 1 year

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hi earth! i was wondering if you possibly had any advice for anyone who wants to start a writing blog or general tips. if you’re comfortable with it, it would also be cool to know what your writing process is like! you write very well so i’m just curious. thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope you have a lovely day!

first of all, this ask was what got me out of bed in the morning to go to my laptop where i did nothing for like 2 hours.

ANYWAYS I’ve been awake for seven hours now and i still haven’t answered it LOL, but thank u for taking the time to pop into my inbox anon!! so honoured u thought of me 🤭🤭

i’m more than happy to answer any questions u may have!! i’ve only been writing here for like one and a half years but I’ll gladly share some tips for new writers <3

tips for new writers - writing on tumblr in general:

formatting and your writing style is very important!!! people most of the time will like stories that have good grammar and are easy to read, so know your punctuation- duh, i mean, most people know where to put their commas, full stops, and shit, but as even a native English speaker i still need to double check sometimes 😭😭😭

ALSO, figure out if you’re a writer who likes to write with proper punctuation or in lower case like i am rn. people on tumblr don’t care which one you opt for so it’s a matter of personal preference!!

personally, i like to use proper punctuation for longer fics with more plot, and lower case writing for normal drabbles, headcannons, etc, all up to you :3 depends on what i feel like tho, i just like the look of lower case hehe

also, you can totally write drafts on tumblr or another platform - i switch between docs and tumblr. shorter pieces on tumblr and longer pieces on Google docs !!

how to get attention on tumblr as a new writer - the importance of tags:

USE THE TAGS - DON’T BE SHY !!! USE A VARIETY !!!! it’s so easy to get reads on tumblr if you just know your tags. i also will say: be mindful of whether or not you stay in tags bc your post can suddenly just disappear- this has happened to me so many times 😭😭 to do that just search if your fic is still popping up in the ‘recent’ section of the tags AND EVERY TIME AFTER U POST SOMETHING, TAKE THE TIME TO SEARCH IF IT’S IN THE ‘RECENT’ TAGS.

(this part might make zero sense, but if it’s been a couple hours and your post still is not popping up, you can either edit it again, make no changes, and press ‘save’.)

general tips:

have an aesthetic layout.

obviously it’s not ‘essential’, but i always find myself more likely to follow blogs that are pretty or have an aesthetics

it takes so long to do but it’s so worth it 😭 if you looks at the fics that do very well, the formatting it very beautiful and pleasing to the eye.

if you’re struggling with a layout, there are so many inspos available on tumblr, just search up ‘blog inspo’ or ‘layout inspo’ and you’ll generally be pretty successful. if all else fail just go to your fav blogs and see how they set up their blog/navigation/aesthetic!!!

having a set colour for your blog can also look nice and less chaotic. for example; mine is red and it’s my (usually) go-to colour for a lot of stuff. just make sure u like the colour tho ☝️

also don’t be afraid to talk to people! AUTHORS LOVE WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEIR WORK!! getting mutuals is such a great feeling so PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE !!!!! MAKE FRIENDS 😮😮

my writing process:

i am that writer that likes to have a plot before i start anything, but it’s never complete. normally when i’m going abt my day, i suddenly think of a piece of dialogue or scenario that makes me go ‘hold on. let me write that down’.

for example, recently i thought of a piece of dialogue for an angst fic (that i don’t know if i’ll use) that goes:

‘no i’m not upset that you forgot about our anniversary, in fact, i already predicted you would.’

another idea i had was: you don’t ever want to leave nagi seishiro hungry.

sometimes I get these ideas when i’m in bed like bro 😐 let me rest…

if i feel inspired enough to continue said ideas, i do, but i never force the fic from happening bc then it’ll be mediocre and just… okay. not something i want on my blog 😭

but then i decide the wordlength, how many scenes i want to be in there. for example, my mistletoe todoroki fic i set out for 4k and met my goal. but my itoshi rin Xmas fic only met around 1k when my goal was 2k - sometimes this happens and i cant be mad if i think the story is done there.

it’s never that organised though, if you look at my drafts, it’s a scrabble of words. i jump from scene to scene with big gaps in between that i need to fill in later 😭 but that’s just how i write LOL ! you may be totally different from me which is a-okay :3

then i grind til the fic is done, reread then bam 💪 ! do my usual formatting on tumblr, tags, and then you’ll see the final result!! easier said than done bc when you want to be done with a fic and just post it, you then need to do all the actual presentation of the fic 😭😭😭

anyways yeah, that’s my process summarised lol!! hope it helped u get a little bit of an idea for what the earthtooz blog grind looks like 🫡

so yeah, i think that’s all i rly need to say!! if you wanna follow my advice or not, up to u, but once again, thank u for popping in my inbox anon and asking me!! gave me something to do whilst on my walk 🤭

cant wait to see what you write, always feel free to come back and ask if you need some ‘extra help’, but i believe in you! good luck and have fun writing, and i hope to see u in the tags someday :D

#i might have more to add later but this is all i have now #earf’s inbox hours ✌️#earfsmercury

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davishater · 5 months

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I'm glad you liked my thoughts on soft winter 😌 for my next trick I propose winter & physical touch/quality time. This thought has been living in my mind rent free! I can totally imagine winter just loving spending time with someone she likes. I also think she would like just like being close to someone. I saw u mention the idea that winter re-braided Alice's hair after she got egg on it bc it looked much neater in the first flashback and i couldn't get it out of my head since. This got me thinking that she would just casually fix someone's hair/help style it etc so imagine "sitting in winter's lap while she brushes ur hair". Like the casual intimacy of it all is sending me!!! Ooooo also also!!! Baking with her? Yes! (please expand on this thought for me bc my single braincell can't go into detail.) Also this is more of a british thing but if you know the show "great british bake off" I can just totally see myself dragging her to watch it with me. It just fits this scenario so well lol. Bonus points for watching it while cuddling, wrapped in blankets in front of the tv and eating the cookies we made! (Conclusion: I am soft AND whipped).

Pffft, yup, I am now a giggling mess!!!! 😆 "For my next trick..." Lolol, I just adore you! 😂 So I know this is the longest it's taken me to respond, BUT you had me thinking and then it started raining and I immediately went to, Winter and lover (me.... It's me.... I'm admitting it..... 😳) playing in the rain and then it turned into a café trip to get warm/dried off and then it just kept going and OH BOY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!!!!!! ✍️ Not right now though, I'm still writing it and I'm hoping for it to be pretty long (not as long as my 2,000 word story of Hutter and Chelsea but still pretty long. We'll see where it leads.).

Bruh, when do I NOT think about quality snuggle time with Winter????? For 7 weeks, when I'm not working, I'm laying in bed/on the couch with a horrid concussion! What else am I gonna do????? If someone hangs onto me for too long, then I get claustrophobic, so I'm also the kind of person who enjoys being in the presence of the person they like. I feel like Winter would also have a time limit on snuggles, cause she wouldn't want to feel tied down for too long. I've also been sleeping a lot, but head canon that Winter sleeps for a hobby, soooooo we just chillin' in dream land together, my dude! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh yeah! I got the idea of Winter redoing Alice's hair, cause I picture Winter helping me style my hair, so she'd touch it a lot. I've also thought about Winter washing my hair for me (but at the same time, I accidentally imagine Winter being taller than me, but she's most likely shorter, so washing my hair for me ain't gonna actually work.... 😭 The only reason I'm hating being tall.....) And just her fingers lingering in my hair longer than normal, and just being super gentle, cause my scalp is very sensitive, and just enjoying the softness of my hair as she's washing it. Uhhhhggg!!!! Definitely thought about this many times before you said anything! 🙈 (Actually, I've written a story about Winter bathing with someone she likes, but it was before I had a grasp on her personality, so it's meh.... 🫤"

I've ALSO thought about baking and cooking with Winter. 👀 Whenever I have the strength to make something, I either imagine Winter helping me, or yelling at me to go and sit down..... 😃 See? I'm not the very best at taking care of myself...... 😬 I can expand on Winter and lover baking together, but then my mind is going to go there and I'll be less likely to finish my current story, so at some point I definitely will let my brain go there for you.

I told myself I wasn't going to get into that show, BUT GUESS I GOTTA NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Imagine Winter and lover doing their own version of the show???? Or trying to bake what they bake in the show (oh no, crap! My mind is just automatically going there! Stop! Go back! Turn around! I said rain and cafe story, not baking together!!!! Ahhhhh)???

#not the asks and replies getting more and more chaotic the more we do this back and forth thing #tempted to start a petition to get you off anon just so i can flood you with EVERYTHING #i kid i kid #i mean i kid in a serious way but also kid for realsies #how to spell 101 no one actually knows #lol please don't leave 🙏#i chose chaos on this one 🤪#i know I'm embarrassing it's a talent i have 😬

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mueritos · 2 years

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Hello! I am a trans-lad(I find it funkier to say that than young transman) that will be getting onto T within the proceeding months. If you're willing what were the first few changes you experienced and how long would you say did it take for those changes to happen? Thank you in advance sir!

hai hai!! sure :,) if u look thru my #trans stuff tag you'll find some more info, but ill elaborate a bit here. I want to disclaim that not everyone experiences changes at the same rate or the same changes, your puberty is very much going to be defined by your genetics (i think by looking at the men on your mom's side you'll know how changes may present) and the method of applying your testosterone. It's now proven that any method (as long as youre consistent) will get you results, so don't worry about being on gel, patches, or the implant.

As for my changes, the first things I noticed were 1. bottom growth/libido hit me immediately; 2. pee and body odor; 3. appetite; 4. general puberty stuff

1. Bottom growth and libido hit me TWO days after my first shot, because after those two days my period hit me and my periods historically make me very hormonal, so the added injection of testosterone was kind of insane I will not lie 😭 I LITERALLY felt like I was in heat, and I could not sit in chairs properly for a month or two while bottom growth settled. Literally could not wear skinny jeans and I was in some discomfort and some stinging pain from it growing.

2. I was regularly working out during my first 6 months on T, and forgetting deodorant ONE workout made it clear to me I could never do that again. The smell is very apparent, and its easy to manage once you figure it out. Showering regularly, changing your clothes often, doing laundry, and wearing deodorant will help. The piss smell was hilarious when I noticed it, like 2-3 months in I just finished peeing and took a whiff and thought "yea a man sure dropped that one" LOL

3. Appetite change is real, and its more apparent when youre active. I worked out regularly pre-t and my hunger could be defined as just actually finishing my plate. Then, I was eating my food and picking at my friends' meals/finishing them off. An hour later, I was hungry again, and this still rings true for me now.

4. General puberty stuff, and I mean voice, acne, fat redistribution, no more period, mood swings. These and more will happen throughout the first year, and they will not settle until that first year is over, and may not settle until months or years later. Acne was pretty bad for me, but that's because bad acne runs on my dads side :/ My voice began dropping 4 months in, and did not finish dropping until about 8 months in. Mood swings lasted until my period ended, my emotions have dulled out a lot, and the times I have gotten angry were mostly due to me not managing my emotions and self (but I also take less shit now).

And thats the gist of it! Remember that there's a lot of sneakier changes that people dont talk about much on T, like high hemoglobin levels, vaginal atrophy and dryness (easily solved with water based lubricant, or, better, estrogen cream applied to the area), and even your ORGASM can change!! People report that one about the say their O feels more localized and shorter, compared to pre-t O's that are full body and longer. And again, every change differs from person to person. Feel free to send more q's or pm me if u want more details!

#muertoresponds #trans stuff #hrt

84 notes · View notes

t0wnspersonb · 4 years

Text

You’re Beautiful (Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader)

Word Count: 4,784

Warnings: SMUT, slight angst, bullying, my shit writing, Kuroo being too damn hot

Summary: Despite how much you loved him, you couldn’t handle the constant bullying that came with dating one of the most sought after males at your school. The constant harassment from Kuroo’s fans ended with you breaking up with him. But when Kuroo founds out the truth... well he does everything in his power to make sure you’re taken care of.

~~~~

Anonymous said:

Hiii 🦊 Rachel here! Could I please request a scenario in which kuroo s/o has been being constantly bullied by kuroo's fangirls during months to the point in which her self confidence is almost crushed but she remain silent and decides to try yo break Up with him?. She appears the Next day at school wearing sexy clothes and make up to make them believe she Split Up with him seriosly. But kuroo notices what's happening and reassures her? Smut ending please if possible!! Thank u so much!! 😊

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Anonymous said:

Can I please request a scenario where Kuroo helps his gf relieve her stress by giving her his full attention and worshipping her? She’s also very insecure. He walks in the room to find her staring at herself in the mirror, lifting her shirt up and looking sad (insecure about her body). No need for angst though! She beams the moment he flirts with her and call her kitten. Soft!dom vibes with lots of dirty talk and praise (and maybe cockwarming?). Thank you 🥺 ily and your blog btw

~~~~

I decided to put these two requests together since they both fall into the same category! I hope you enjoy this one Rachel and anon!

Sorry it took so long for me to write! I think I do a terrible job at writing characters as a dom so I apologize in advance if it wasn’t what you guys were wanting! As always please let me know what you guys think:)

~~~~

“- I don’t understand.” Kuroo’s frown deepened, his fingers clenching and unclenching into fists at his side.

You had an audience, the soft whispers of people passing by curled around your ear like the wind.

You knew exactly what they were talking about, what they will be talking about for the next couple of weeks.

“Y/n why are you breaking up with me?” he pressed further, his tall frame taking a step closer to you.

“I told you.” Your voice sounds strained, even to your own ears, despite the mental preparation you had to do before.

Hell, there was no amount of mental preparation that could prepare you for something like this.

Kuroo’s annoyed and calculating expression shifted dramatically, hurt and confusion clouded his face, his large hand reached out towards you, causing you to take a step back, your arms wrapping around your body.

You wanted to curl into yourself, to disappear completely so you didn’t have to see Kuroo’s pained expression.

“That doesn’t… that doesn’t make sense! We were doing great! You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to go out with me! So why… why all of a sudden -”

“I told you.” You stressed, cutting him off immediately. “I don’t want to be with someone who only focuses on their club activities. You never have time for me, you’re always so busy with your stupid club. I can’t do this anymore.”

Lies.

They were all lies.

But you… you had to make this work, you had to make this hurt, or else… or else you knew he would never leave you alone.

The whispering around you got louder, the large smirks from the girls amongst the crowd pierced into your heart.

But not as much as this.

Kuroo’s expression ripped your heart in two.

This hurt like hell.

“Your team is waiting for you Kuroo.” You said quietly, ignoring the ache in your chest as he visibly flinched at the use of his surname, something you never called him. “I’ll see you around.”

You turned to walk away, resisting the urge to look back at the tall male. You could feel tears stinging at your eyes as you rushed out of the school gates, it was probably a mistake to do this right after class; catching him right before he went into volleyball practice.

It honestly was all a mistake but… you didn’t have a choice.

You were suddenly yanked back, causing you to stumble about.

“That was quite the show.” a familiar voice drawled out, you flinched as you scrambled away from the group of girls that were staring you down.

The group of girls that caused this mess.

“It was smart of you to break up with him. Kuroo-san belongs to all of us, not just you. You ugly girl.” She sneered. “Who would want you anyway? Kuroo-san was just dating you out of pity, I bet he just wanted a quick lay. Since you’re that easy.”

You could feel your lower lip tremble, the tears that were already gathered in your eyes threatening to spill over.

“Well it’s done, just leave me alone now.” You mumbled, walking away.

As soon as you were a safe distance away, tears began pouring down your face.

The flood of emotions you were experiencing was something like no other. The pain that you felt deep within your chest was excruciating, and all you could see behind your lids as you wiped at your eyes was Kuroo’s hurt expression.

You were lucky enough that your mother wasn’t home, she wouldn’t be home for the next couple of days due to a business trip.

Which meant you could cry your heart out in peace.

No amount of mental preparation prepared you for this. For the hurt that you had caused the person you loved the most, for the hurt that you were experiencing from the constant cruelty of those girls.

It was all too much.

By the time you had finally finished crying it was late at night, and you found yourself in front of your bathroom mirror.

They were right, you were an ugly girl, why would Kuroo want to be with someone like you?

It was always a question that lingered in the back of your mind when Kuroo confessed to you. It was strange wasn’t it? He was quite possibly the most perfect human being you had ever met, so why would he want to be with you?

“Since you’re that easy.”

You shook your head from the comment, Kuroo was your first for everything; memories that you would cherish forever, even if you were no longer with him.

You at least knew that comment wasn’t true, Kuroo wasn’t a cruel person, there was no way he would have thought of you that way.

The person you were looking at in the mirror wasn’t someone you recognized. A stranger in your own skin, your eyes flickered to every inch of your insecurities, your body shrinking down.

You couldn’t go on like this, something had to change.

****

“W-What are you wearing Y/n-chan?” Yaku asked, face flushed, as he took in your uniform.

You were lucky enough to have arrived at school without any encounters with those girls and Kuroo. But you were unlucky in the fact that you were in the same class as Kuroo and Yaku.

“D-Does it look bad?” You asked, carefully tugging at the hem of your skirt.

“No but… you never wear anything that short… I’m just not used to seeing you like that… are you wearing makeup?” Yaku looked at you in surprise, the pink in his cheeks never fading.

You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly, your head ducking down in embarrassment as you nodded.

This was so uncomfortable; you were completely out of your element right now.

You had opted for the shorter uniform skirt today, something that was completely different than your usual knee length one. Your legs had never been so exposed at school before.

The makeup… well, you hardly ever wore makeup, it wasn’t like you were wearing a whole lot of it, but just enough to make you feel just a tad less insecure about yourself.

“Kuroo is gonna flip when he -” Yaku shut his mouth immediately; eyes casting away from you.

That’s right.

He had almost forgotten that you had broken up with him yesterday, and from the slight fall of your face, maybe you had forgotten too.

“You know… Kuroo was devastated when he came into practice yesterday, he made us do twice as many drills, got upset over the littlest things…” Yaku trailed off, glancing over at you briefly. “We didn’t know what had happened until Lev said something about it. News travels fast around here huh?” he joked weakly.

“Just news that involves your golden boy.” you said quietly, your eyes trained on your folded hands that rested on your desk.

Yaku turned his body completely towards you now. “Y/n-chan what happened? Why did you -” the classroom door suddenly opened, and in walked the golden boy himself.

He looked… exhausted, sad.

The tiny piece that you were able to fix in your heart shattered once again, leaving you empty and achy inside.

This was all your fault.

His exhaustion, his sadness, that was all you.

You could feel his eyes flickering over to your form, but you didn’t dare meet his gaze, you settled for pulling out one of your books from your bag; eyes focused on the page, although, you couldn’t even comprehend what it was you were reading.

His shadow loomed over you as he paused next to your desk. It was only for a couple of seconds before he sighed loudly, taking his seat behind Yaku.

Fuck today was going to be a long day.

****

The next couple of days were routine now, Yaku would attempt to make small talk with you, struggling each and every time to ask you what had happened between you and Kuroo, and each time it ended with Kuroo entering the classroom and standing near your desk before sighing loudly and leaving.

Despite the fact that it was becoming routine, it still wasn’t easy. None of it was, the only easy thing was that those pesky girls in his fan club left you alone, at least you got relief from that.

Until today.

Of course, it would be when you were walking home that they would approach you, no one in sight.

“You really think that dressing up and wearing makeup is going to make you pretty?” one of them scoffed, a wicked smirk playing on her lips. “You’re still ugly, you did Kuroo-san a favor by dumping him, who would want to be with someone as hideous as you?”

You gritted your teeth, your hands tightening around the strap of your bag as you attempted to step around them, only for them to get in your way once more.

They were cornering you now.

“I did what you asked, why do you keep bothering me?” you asked quietly, pleading almost.

“Because you took him away from us all those months ago. Kuroo-san has never and will never be yours. It honestly was such a bitchy thing for you to do Y/n. You really think that by just breaking up with him you would be let off the hook? Wrong.”

Your quiet demeanor never faltered; you were desperate to go home though. So you tried stepping around them once again, only to be shoved back into another one of the girls.

They were laughing at you as they shoved you about, but you didn’t have the strength to fight back, to stand up for yourself.

You just… you just let it happen.

You probably deserved it anyway, right?

For breaking Kuroo’s heart.

You deserved all of it, right?

“Hey!”

Everyone froze, yourself included. You knew that voice all too well, and you couldn’t help the tears that began to pool in your eyes.

Cool fingers clasped at your wrist, carefully yanking you away from the group of girls that were now cowering in front of the tall male that stood before them.

“Are you okay Y/n?” Kenma peered at you in concern, carefully releasing his grip on you. You nodded, rubbing at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater.

“K-Kuroo-san! We were just teaching her a lesson! She hurt you, didn’t she? We were just trying to protect you!” one of the girl’s pleaded.

You had never seen Kuroo like this. He was genuinely angry, his eyes all but turning into slits as he glared down at the group of girls who were nearly in tears at this point.

“From what I heard, you guys are the reason that Y/n broke up with me.” he said, tone deep and dark. “From what I saw… well… girls like you absolutely disgust me.” he sneered.

“K-Kuroo-san.” one of them began to cry.

“From now on stay away from me, and stay away from Y/n. If I catch you guys anywhere near her then we’re going to have some problems. Understand?” he stood incredibly tall; his arms folded across his chest as he stared down at the group of girls.

It was silent for a moment and then whimpers and loud cries began to erupt from the group, all of them running off.

As soon as they were out of sight Kuroo slumped down, sighing tiredly as his large hand ran down his face, rubbing off whatever emotions he was feeling. But then he was turning to face you, concern clouding his eyes as he walked closer.

“Are you hurt?” he murmured softly, one of his fingers gently sliding against your cheek, his eyes flickering across your face.

You shook your head, but you could feel oncoming tears beginning to pool. You desperately wanted to throw yourself into his arms at this point.

But Kuroo knew you too well, he recognized the look on your face and his hand slid down to grasp yours.

“Let’s go.” he said. “Kenma I’m going to take Y/n home. Walk home without me.” his eyes glanced over at his friend who nodded, waving goodbye to the two of you before taking his leave.

For the most part, the trip home was entirely quiet, you two hadn’t addressed anything that had happened at the school, or what had happened in the days prior. It was mostly small talk, but you felt lighter somehow.

Kuroo brought the best out of you, he was your better half; his mere presence brought a sense of calm to the raging storm inside of you.

He also had never let go of your hand.

Maybe it was because of what happened earlier, or maybe it was an unconsciousness thing, but you were grateful for it.

His hand was large and warm, his thumb rubbing gently against the back of your hand, it was entirely soothing.

But now your anxiety was through the roof as you approached your front door, pausing to retrieve the keys from your bag.

Would he go?

Would he want to come in?

Would he want answers?

Would you guys get back together?

“Y/n....” Kuroo stared down at you intensely, his face nothing but serious. “Can we talk?”

Fuck. Maybe it was all of the above.

You bit your lip, nodding before you guys stepped into your house.

“Where’s your mom?” Kuroo asked casually, slipping off his shoes.

“She’s on a business trip, she’ll be back on Saturday.” you said quietly. Kuroo said nothing back as you guys made your way to your room. Silence engulfing you completely, the air thick with tension.

“Do you really not want to be with me anymore?” Kuroo asked as soon as you guys got settled in. There was no room for small talk now, he had jumped to the point immediately.

“Or did you break up with me because of those girls?” he asked, his eyes never leaving your form.

“They’ve been… they’ve been harassing me since we got together, it got really bad recently…” you trailed off, ignoring the dark look that crossed over his face for a moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” his voice was incredibly soft now, his expression gentle. “I would’ve done something about it.”

“I don’t know.” you whimpered out, the tears that you had been holding back since school finally spilled over. “They were your fans… you’re so amazing, I didn’t want them to think badly of you. They’re right, you know. Why would someone like you want someone like me? I’m not very pretty or smart, I’m not passionate like you are… they said I was only dragging you down. I didn’t want to hold you back anymore. So, I - I had to break up with you, had to hurt you enough so that you wouldn’t try pursuing me anymore.”

At this point you were full on sobbing, blabbering your confession. The words just leaked out, there was no point in stopping now, not like you could anyway.

“I didn’t mean what I said about the team either. I just said that to hurt your feelings. I love that you’re so dedicated to your team and volleyball, I love how hard you work towards your goals. You’re so good at what you do. I’m so sorry Kuroo. I’m so sorry.” you choked out, another sob tearing through your lips as you desperately tried wiping away the ongoing flow of tears.

Your eyes were incredibly blurry, your loud crying and hiccups were the only sound that could be heard in the room. You hadn’t even registered that Kuroo had gotten off your bed until you were being yanked into a warm chest. His strong arms wrapped around you tightly, crushing you to his body.

Warmth seeped into your being, radiated off of his chest and into yours. Your nose was filled with the scent of Kuroo, familiar and perfect as you buried your face deeper into his chest.

He caged you against his body, the strong grip he had only tightening further; his large hands rubbed up and down your back, soothing your hysteria until there were only soft hiccups and sniffles.

You weren’t sure how long Kuroo held you for, but you didn’t care. You never wanted to leave his arms.

He was solid, so strong and warm; grounding you to this moment. You could only think of him, as he was right now, and as you were right now. Right now, this moment was perfect.

Right now, you knew that you would never stop loving Kuroo Tetsurou.

“I wish you would’ve told me about those girls earlier.” he finally spoke, his voice was calm, the movement of his hands never stopping against your back. “At least you’re telling me now. But…” his hands gently pulled you away from his body. His eyes burned as they stared into your own, the intensity of his gaze took your breath away, he had never looked at you like that before.

“You’re seriously stupid if you think any of that is true. Not pretty? Not smart? Dragging me down? Holding me back? That’s not true.” He cupped your face carefully, titling your head back slightly, forcing your eyes to only stare at him.

“You’re the kindest person I know. You’re so beautiful, you have no idea how many of the guys at our school wanted to go out with you. You’re the top of our class, did you forget that you’re in the college prep class? You’re incredibly smart. You’ve never dragged me down; you’ve never held me back. You make me want to be better, you make me want to work harder. If I don’t have you by my side… then what’s the point to any of it?” his voice was deep and fierce, full of fiery passion as he stared down at you.

“Do you love me?” he asked.

“Of course, I love you, I never stop-” Kuroo slammed his lips against yours, kissing you fiercely and urgently.

You whimpered loudly, fingers gripping at the front of his uniform tightly as you surrendered yourself to his kiss.

Every ounce of his feelings for you were being poured into this kiss, it was searing, burning you completely as he nipped and sucked at your bottom lip, forcing his tongue into your mouth easily.

It was wet and hot as he massaged the pink muscle in your mouth with his own, and you could only take it, clinging to him desperately as you tried to keep up with his pace.

You hadn’t even realized that he was taking steps back until your world shifted, Kuroo easily pulling you down onto his lap as he sat on your bed. You held yourself up, knees pressing into the soft mattress on either side of his hips.

“You’re mine.” he breathed against your mouth, the hand that was resting on your back trailed down towards your exposed legs. His fingers curled around the back of your upper thigh, skimming against the band of the thigh highs that you wore.

“I can’t believe you started wearing these tiny little skirts to school. I hated the way other guys would look at you whenever you left the classroom… and the makeup? Who were you trying to impress?” he murmured, nipping at your bottom lip before trailing his mouth against the underside of your jaw, and down your throat.

“I - ahh - I just wanted to…” your fingers slid into his hair; eyes fluttering shut as his tongue flickered out to taste your skin. “Feel good about myself.”

He pulled away from you, his lips swollen, and pupils blown as he stared at you. “You’re gorgeous, you don’t need to make yourself up like that. I’ll make you feel good.”

Kuroo began tugging the clothes off of your guys’ body, easily tossing them to the floor until you were both bare.

His lips parted as his eyes wandered to every inch of your skin, greedily taking in all of your pretty curves. You were his, he’d never let anyone else have you, he’d never let anyone else see you like this. Sprawled out on top of the bed, face flushed a beautiful pink, your knees bent as your feet sat flat against the sheets, your core entirely exposed to him.

You were dripping, cunt glistening and begging to be touched.

“It’s embarrassing.” you whispered, face heating up as you took in the way he stared openly at your exposed lower half. You moved to clamp your legs shut, only for his large hands to grab your knees, ripping them apart easily, exposing you further.

“What’s so embarrassing about a boyfriend wanting to stare at his beautiful girlfriend?” he asked, eyebrow raising, a small smirk grazed his lips. “I’m going to make you feel so good, kitten.”

His face sank lower, the hands that were resting on your knees sliding down until they curled around the back of your upper thighs, pushing them further apart and up.

His nose brushed against your mound and then you felt his hot breath blowing against your center, causing a loud whimper to escape your lips, your fingers gripping at the sheets below.

“Thank you for the meal.” he smirked against you, eyes flickering towards you before his mouth enveloped you completely.

You cried out.

Kuroo’s mouth was like a furnace as he lapped at your cunt carefully, flattening his tongue against your soaked entrance before flicking it up towards your swollen bundle of nerves.

The pink muscle easily swirled against your clit, lazy almost, before dipping back into your slit, moving in and out of you perfectly.

Your chest was heaving at this point, your fingers reaching down to tangle into his already messy hair, urging him closer.

His grip on your thighs tightened, his tongue moving against you faster as he felt you drip onto his tongue.

“Tetsurou.” you whimpered. “I’m close, so close.” you slurred, the familiar tightness within your belly coiling rapidly.

Kuroo pulled himself away immediately, a loud whine tearing through your lips.

“N-No! Why did you stop?” You cried out, the tightness residing immediately, the dull ache of your cunt begging for more attention, for release.

Kuroo stood above you, a devilish grin stretching across his face as you whined pitifully at him. One of the hands that was gripping your thigh suddenly came down, swatting at your swollen cunt with a sharp sting.

You cried out in surprise as your body jolted with pleasure. His fingers gently running up and down your soaked folds, pressing down gently against your bundle of nerves.

“I know I said I would make you feel good, but… there needs to be some kind of punishment too. Since you tried breaking up with me, and you kept secrets from me.” he chuckled, his eyes held nothing but warmth though, filled to the brim with love and lust.

Suddenly Kuroo was hauling you up, easily pulling you back onto his lap, you could feel his hard member rubbing against the curve of your ass and then he was shifting you up once more and - another loud cry tore through your lips as he sheathed himself inside of you completely.

The stretch burned as you struggled to accommodate his size, you would never get to this stretch, to him being buried deep inside of you.

He hushed you tenderly, his lips pressing gently against your temple. His breath came out in hot, wet pants against the side of your neck.

“Look at you.” he breathed, his eyes focused on the mirror that was propped against your wall, facing your bed. “Look at how fucking beautiful you are. Look at how well you take my cock kitten.”

Your eyes were screwed closed as you struggled to adjust to the new intrusion in your body. When you finally opened your eyes a loud mewl tore through your swollen lips.

Kuroo had your back pressed tightly against his chest, your legs hung over the side of his muscular thighs, his thick member buried deep in your cunt.

The scene before you was incredibly lewd. The way your pussy lips were stretched around his thick cock was on full display, your bare body covered in sweat and flushed red. The dazed look on your face and the tears gathering in your eyes; it was too much.

Kuroo had his chin resting against your shoulder, his eyes never leaving the mirror as he took in every inch of you.

“S-So embarrassing.” You whined again, attempting to turn your face away so you no longer had to stare at yourself in the mirror.

Kuroo wasn’t having any of that, his strong fingers gripped your chin easily, forcing your head back towards the front.

“Don’t look away.” he commanded into the shell of your ear. “I want you to watch.” he began moving, his hips bucking up, sliding in and out of your velvety walls. “I want you to see how absolutely perfect you are. I want you to see how well you take my cock, I want you to see yourself cum. I want you to see how good I make you feel.”

Your lips were parted, moans spilling out of your mouth as you watched the way your breasts moved with each hard thrust of his hips, the way your cunt stretched around his swollen member that continuously disappeared inside of your body.

“You make the sweetest faces. Fuck look at how wet you are for me kitten.” Kuroo groaned lowly into your ear, his tongue flickering out against the skin. His eyes never left your form, cat-like and dangerous as you took what he gave you.

“Do you hear that?” he murmured lowly. “Fuck you’re so soaked for me.” over the rustling of sheets and your moans the soft squelching noises of your soaked cunt could be heard.

“Should I make you cum?” he breathed, his hand reaching down, his fingers brushing against your parted folds that were stretched tightly around his cock. His eyes were glued to the obscene image before him, memorized with the way you engulfed him completely.

“Please.” you sobbed, overstimulated tears now rolling down your cheeks. “Tetsu, please.”

He moaned softly, fingers reaching up to rub at your clit.

It didn’t take long before you began unraveling, from the quick swipes of his fingers against your bundle of nerves, from the way that his member filled you to the brim, reaching a devastating depth within you, it was no wonder you were reaching your end so quickly.

You watched as your cunt gushed around him, trickling down his balls and staining the sheets below.

“Fuck.” he hissed, teeth sinking into your bare shoulder as you convulsed against him. You were panting, crying at the rush of pleasure still coursing through your body.

Kuroo stayed buried inside of you, waiting for you to catch your breath, your walls fluttering around him. He wouldn’t last long. But he needed you to cum again.

“Give me another one kitten, I know you can do it.” he cooed, and then his hips started jack hammering into your core, hard and fast as his fingers worked against your clit once again.

It was too much, overstimulating, sharp and biting, and you took it all.

You sobbed loudly as your end approached, faster this time, but far more devastating. Especially when you felt his release, Kuroo painted your insides a beautiful white as he spilled himself deep within your core.

You could feel your ears ringing, vaguely registering his gentle praises as he stretched you across the bed, sliding out of your puffy and swollen cunt carefully. You could feel his warmth seeping out, trailing down the length of your legs, but you were far too exhausted to care, to clean up.

He pulled the sheets over your body pulling you against his sweaty chest, his strong fingers brushing away the hair that clung to the sides of your face.

“I love you.” he breathed, a gentle smile covering his lips as he gazed down at you. “You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

You sighed softly, a sweet smile grazing your lips as you stared back at him. “I love you Tetsu. I don’t ever want to be without you again.” you nuzzled your face into his chest, his arms wrapping around your body tightly.

“I didn’t spend all that time convincing you to go out with me for you to leave so quickly. You’re stuck with me, and my stupid club.” he grinned at you.

“That’s okay. I really missed spending time with Kenma.”

“Oi.”

975 notes · View notes

oumaheroes · 2 years

Note

Do you yourself have any writing tips? I really admire your style.

Thank you, kind anon! ;u; I'm honoured.

I don't know if these are 'proper' writing tips, but they're what I keep in mind for myself when writing:

Try to get as close to the action/ plot of the story as quickly as possible.

I used to be quite bad for this (still am, in many cases). I'd clump all world building and context/ exposition all at the start to set the scene and then I'd begin the real meat of the story. Or, when I became aware about doing this, I'd put description halfway through in smaller chunks but either way it makes the story smoother and flow more if you sprinkle in details and context as you go. I like to think of it as painting, you can't blob all one colour in one spot as you get stuck looking at it- it needs to be evenly spread out.

Dialogue is important

Building off the above, I like to build my stories and drive plot these days with dialogue. Character actions, thoughts, and feelings are built off of this, as well as environmental details. I like to let my dialogue build my story like a skeleton and then I'll flesh out around it.

This works better with shorter stories but also works great for scenes in longer ones. When I'm reading, my eye naturally goes to dialogue, especially if it's walled off by blocks of environmental detail, so I like to let my dialogue unravel the plot and character development for me rather than block the plot in.

Stick to one character viewpoint per scene

This is something I've only realised I prefer within the last year of writing. If I have more than one character in a scene, I pick one character whose viewpoint I'm going to see through and settle there until a scene or chapter change.

So one character I'll write as, 'X felt,' or 'X saw,' and 'X knew' because I'm looking through their eyes- I AM them almost as a narrator. The other character I'll write as 'Y looked like they were going to say,' or have the first character describe the others feelings, 'You only say that because you did this!' Or, 'I know you feel this way!'

X doesn't know for sure what Y feels, only what they believe Y feels and so we only get description from Y that's very visual- what can be seen and assumed, but not known.

This is heavily dependant on how you want your narrator voice to be, of course, but my narrator usually sits in the mind or close observation of one character at a time. I feel like this helps build intimacy with a character more as you feel as though you're in their shoes. This also allows you to build ambiguity and tension in relationships with the characters and world they're interacting with. In real life, we only truly know ourselves, afterall- everything else is based off experiences.

It also allows for an unreliable narrator which always makes things feel a bit more real.

Less is more

This is something I still struggle with. Although I'm better these days in how I provide description in stories, I still do too damn much and often over explain myself, the detail, the action, or the point I'm trying to make. Not everything needs to be described, your audience is smart. They don't need to know that a character got up, went across the room to lift up an arm and open a curtain. 'He got up and opened the curtains' works just fine. Unless...

'Does this have a point?'

Again, something I'm always trying to work on because this is a weakness of mine, but does the action you're writing need as much detail as you're giving? Unless you're giving key information that's relevant to the plot or character development, does it need to be there? This applies to longer stories more than short ones (I've written whole scenes before that don't have a 'point')- they slow down your story and make it feel 'clogged'. But I feel the advice still applies to shorter pieces: If it doesn't take the story anywhere, consider taking it out. Having less detail helps draw reader focus straight to detail you do want them to notice as well.

Last one before I bore you: tenses!

Find one and stick to it. Different tenses help build different moods and pacing, so consider them carefully. Present tense is still my weakest and I often do the things I listed above 'wrong' because I'm less experienced in it and then kick myself later.

Phew! That was a lot, thanks for the ask! I hope these were helpful ❤

#heroes answers #writing tips #?#heroes treasures

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skylights2000 · 3 years

Text

Stress Reliever (Kazuichi x Reader)

I know I said I’d post this tomorrow, but I’ve been working on it for several days and finally finished it, and I’m incredibly impatient, so here we go!

This is also the first smut imagine I’m posting on my blog. I don’t know why, but I always get super embarrassed whenever I post smut, so I hope you like it. If you do, maybe I’ll most more in the future?

You could see how some people might think that Kazuichi was a delinquent. His appearance definitely gave off that vibe, but in reality, the thought was enough to make you laugh.

Kazuichi was a wimpy sweetheart that wanted nothing more than to be loved.

How did you know this?

Because you were dating that wimpy sweetheart.

Kazuichi was fun to mess with. His reactions to any kind of affection were so flustered and pure. You loved him so much that it made your heart hurt sometimes.

But sometimes, teasing Kazuichi took unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome, turns.

You liked kissing Kazuichi. You never got tired of how he leaned into you and sighed into your mouth. He was not only shorter than you (by a few inches, but still shorter), but he was also lighter than you. You often used that to your advantage. Picking him up and twirling him around, giving him piggyback rides, handing him stuff from the shelves he couldn’t reach, you loved stuff like that.

But most of all, you loved pulling him into your lap, which was where he was now. You had your arms wrapped around his waist and his around your back. He had his head on your shoulder while you absentmindedly twirled a strand of his hair.

Between the upcoming midterms and helping Miu with Kiibo while also trying to keep up with his own projects, Kazuichi was overstressed.

You’d been trying to be supportive and help wherever you could, but when Miu called, frantically explaining that Kazuichi had passed out in the middle of the garage, you decided enough was enough.

You’d gone and picked him up. He argued that he had things to get done, but you weren’t having any of it.

“You can come with me willingly, or I’ll carry you there instead.” You challenged, and after realizing that you were being completely serious, he sighed and agreed.

You also insisted that he come to your apartment. You didn’t trust Kazuichi to go to sleep if he went to his own. That’s how you ended up here on on your couch with Kazuichi.

There was one problem though.

Despite how tired he was, Kazuichi was so stressed out that he couldn’t fall asleep. You’d been sitting here for the past five minutes, listening to him mumble to himself about everything he had to get done, while you tried to think of something to help calm him down.

That was when something struck you. The idea made you blush, but you seriously couldn’t think of anything else.

You turned your head enough to kiss Kazuichi on the head. “Hey Kaz.” You nudged him with your shoulder until he sat up. Once he did, you smiled before you leaned forward and kissed him.

He made a sound of surprise, but after a second, he melted into you, kissing you back.

You trailed your hands up his back, cracking a smile when he shivered. “Are my hands cold?

“N-No, well yes, but that’s not wh-why-“

You slid your hands under his shirt, bursting into a fit of giggles when he yelped and tried to squirm away from you. You had mercy on him and removed your hands, instead, choosing to take his hands in yours.

You pressed soft kisses along his hands and arms while your hands slowly started to warm up, taking on the same temperature as his own.

“Better?” You asked playfully, and he nodded gratefully.

You smiled softly as you looked at him. His pink eyes seemed to shine when he was happy. It was captivating. You could easily get lost in his eyes, but you snapped out of it when he looked away.

“Wh-Why’re ya st-starin’ at me like that?”

“You have pretty eyes.”

“Don’tcha think the pink is a bit weird?”

The way he asked made it clear that people had said that before.

“I’m not talking about the pink.” You cupped his face gently. “I can see everything in your eyes. When you’re sad, they get stormy. When you’re happy, they shine. Your eyes are beautiful. Not because they’re pink. They’re beautiful because they’re yours, because I can see everything you are when I look you in the eyes.” You could feel his cheeks heating up under your hands.

You pulled his head down to yours and kissed him again, much deeper this time. You broke away, pressing a kiss to his cheek, then his jaw. You trailed little kisses down to his neck, listening to the way his breath hitched with each one.

“Wh-What’s gotten into you?”

“I figured if I tired you out, you’d be able to sleep.” You explained, scratching your cheek nervously. Saying it out loud made you feel a bit embarrassed.

There was a moment where he just stared at you as the implication behind your words sank in. You could tell when they did because he turned red all the way to the roots of his hair.

“O-Oh..u-um..”

“Is that okay with you?” You asked, choosing not to beat around the bush. You would never force him to do something he didn’t want to, but you had learned a long time ago that being blunt was best with him.

Your last boyfriend had been very dominant. Too dominant. He always insisted on knowing everywhere you went and everyone you met. He told you who you could hang out with, where you could go, and what you could do. You hated it.

You met Kazuichi a couple months after the two of you broke up, and it was a nice change of pace. Kazuichi was a good person, despite his obsession with Sonia at the time, and a good friend. He obviously cared very deeply for his friends.

Kazuichi may look like a tough guy, but that couldn’t be less true. He was a scaredy cat when something freaked him out. He liked to flirt with girls, but the second someone so much as complimented him, he turned into a stuttering mess.

It was adorable, and being around him taught you how to be more honest with what you felt. You no longer felt like you had to hide to maintain this perfect image of what someone thought you should be. You could say what you meant and not be afraid of how he’d react. You could just be yourself.

Being with Kazuichi also taught you how to be more blunt. Beating around bush just led to more trouble. He was also very clueless at times. If you didn’t say what you wanted, it would go right over his head.

Kazuichi was also shy, incredibly so. It led to some interesting, and frankly adorable, moments.

You were the more bold one, so you were usually the one to initiate things, and you were surprised to find that you didn’t mind it. Besides, it made the moments that Kazuichi did initiate anything all the more special.

It seemed now was one of those times too because, instead of responding to your question verbally, Kazuichi just kissed you again. He ran his tongue across your bottom lip, and when you parted your lips, he slid his tongue into your mouth.

You slid one of your hands into his hair, wrapping your other arm around his waist. You pulled him forward until his chest was pressed against yours, and you felt a shiver run down your spine when he gasped into your mouth.

You nipped at his lip, unable to keep back a smile when he moaned. “Feel good?”

He flushed, but he still nodded, an embarrassed smile on his face.

“That’s good.” You pressed a kiss just under his ear. “You know what to say if you want me to stop?”

Kazuichi was prone to saying stop when he was embarrassed, but when you actually did stop, he only got more embarrassed when he had to tell you, no, you hadn’t gone to far, and no, he wasn’t hurt. So, you picked something that still got the message across when he actually did want you to stop.

“Red.”

You smiled against his skin. “And when will I stop?”

You weren’t really sure when you got into the habit of asking him that, but you did it every time now.

Your ex boyfriend hadn’t been so lenient with you. If you started, no matter what you said, he wasn’t going to stop.

You never wanted Kazuichi to feel that way.

“Any time I want.”

You pecked him on the lips, a proud kind of smile on your face. “Never forget that, okay?”

He nodded with a smile of his own. “I won’t.”

You returned to peppering kisses along his skin. Eventually, you slid your hands under his shirt, pushing it up, and when he got the gist, he helped you pull it over his head.

You stole his beanie so you could run your fingers through his hair.

He gasped when you nipped at the base of his neck, sucking lightly at the red mark you’d made.

He was gripping your upper arms, unsure what to do with himself. You moved even lower, dragging your teeth along his collarbone. He shivered, something between a sigh and a moan falling from his lips.

He covered his mouth, biting his thumb to keep back another sound when you nipped at the skin there. Heat flared in his chest, thrumming under his skin until he felt like he was burning from the inside out. Arousal twisted low in his stomach, and he flushed when he realized that he was getting hard.

Fingers curled around his wrist, pulling his hand away from his mouth. “I like hearing you.” You murmured, connecting your mouths again. You smelt like strawberries and tasted like the chocolate you were eating earlier.

Your mouth was hot against his, and he pulled away with a gasp. “(Y-Y/n).”

You pressed a kiss just under his ear, a hand sliding up his back.

“H-Hey, st-stop.”

“Are you sure?” You teased, clearly enjoying how flustered he was getting.

“I’m ge-gettin’..”

“Turned on?” You finished for him when he didn’t continue.

He felt a wave of embarrassment at the words, but he nodded truthfully.

You smirked against his shoulder, a soft laugh bubbling from your chest. “What’s wrong with that?”

“I-It’s embarrassin’..”

You shifted back slightly, raising your head to look at him. He had turned red all the way up to his ears, and it was slowly spreading down his neck, giving his skin a pink hue. “Do you want me to stop?”

Your expression was no longer teasing. You were smiling gently at him, as if he was the most precious thing in the world. “You know what to say if you want me to stop.”

He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I..” He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at you. “I-I like when you t-touch me.”

You hummed softly, experimentally trailing your fingers from the curve of his neck down to the center of his chest. “Like that?”

He nodded, swallowing nervously.

You used one hand to hold his jaw while you kissed him, running the other down his chest. Your fingers brushed over one of his nipples, and you grinned when he jumped, gasping into your mouth.

You leaned back, watching his face as you repeated the motion more deliberately. He was biting his lip, his hands curling into the back of the couch.

Sometimes, you swore he couldn’t get any cuter. “You’re really sensitive.”

If you thought he was red before, it was nothing compared to his face right now.

“Do-Don’t just say things like that!”

You just raised an eyebrow, lips curving into an amused smile. “What? I’m telling the truth!”

“J-Just cause it’s true doesn’t mean ya have to say it out loud!”

You shook your head softly. “It’s so easy to mess with you.”

All of a sudden, you smiled deviously. “If you’re really not that sensitive, then I’m sure you won’t mind if I do this.” You squeezed his nipple, flicking it lightly with your finger, and he moaned.

“H-Hey! That’s n-not fair!”

“Who said I was being fair?” Your hands trailed down to his waist, and you leaned forward, running your tongue over his nipple.

His hand came up to your shoulder like he was going to push you away, but he ended up gripping it instead.

You began to suck at it, rolling his other nipple between your fingers, and you were pleasantly surprised when he whined low in his throat.

You let go, moving until you could stand up, taking him with you. You carried him into your bedroom, dropping him unceremoniously on your bed. Before he could complain, you climbed onto the bed too, straddling him.

You curled your hands into his hair, and Kazuichi felt caught off guard by the adoration and love in your eyes.

You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips. “God, I love you so much.” You said softly, kissing along his jaw and down to his neck.

Kazuichi moaned when you sucked at the skin at the base of his neck. He slipped his hands under your shirt, running his hands up your back. Your skin was soft and cold against his burning skin. He ran his hands further up your back. He could feel your shoulder blades shift, feel the dip between them, feel the dimple at the bottom of your back. He tugged at your shirt, and you broke away from him to help him pull it over your head.

“You want me to take these?” He asked tapping the edge of your glasses.

“Nah, I like being able to see you.” You said, smirking playfully at him.

He slapped your shoulder. “Don’t say things like that!” He retorted, cheeks flushing a bright shade of red.

You laughed warmly, hands pressed against his shoulders. You leaned down to press a kiss to his pulse point, feeling his heart beat wildly under your lips.

“Hm, what if I told you that you look really cute like this?” You asked, kissing down his chest.

“L-Like what?” Kazuichi asked shakily.

“All flushed and embarrassed.” You responded running your hands up his back. You sucked at his collarbone, and he moaned softly.

“I-“ He tried to say something, but no words came out. He felt overwhelmed. Kazuichi could feel heat curling in his stomach, but you weren’t done.

“And what if I told you that I like hearing you moan.” You asked, amusement sparking in your voice.

His breaths were coming out in small pants.

“If I said that seeing you get all worked up is kinda hot, what would you do then?” You asked teasingly.

“I-I don’t-“ Kazuichi started, but he was abruptly cut off by a moan when you ran your tongue over one of his nipples.

You began to suck at it, your teeth occasionally brushing over it. Your other hand came up and began to massage his other nipple, and Kazuichi arched into the touch, moaning your name.

You pulled away, leaning up to connect your lips again.

The heat in Kazuichi’s stomach flared, and he tangled his hands in your hair.

You began to kiss down his chest and along his stomach, leaving hickeys every now and then. He squirmed underneath you. Kazuichi felt like his body was burning from the inside out. He was hard, and he knew you could probably feel it. The thought embarrassed and excited him at the same time. When you nipped at his waist, he couldn’t stop himself from bucking his hips. He whined when your hips met, and to his surprise, you began to rock your hips against his.

“Better?” You asked, smiling lightly at him.

Kazuichi felt like his brain was short circuiting. This felt more than good.

Kazuichi whimpered, gripping your shoulders desperately. He could feel that heat in his stomach rising wildly.

“S-Stop or I-I’ll-“ He cut himself off when he moaned again.

“Go ahead.” You responded, leaning down to suck and nip at his neck.

He was so close.

You bit down at the base of his neck, and Kazuichi squeezed his eyes shut as the heat pooling in his stomach finally exploded. He whimpered as his body tensed and trembled. His back arched, and he moaned your name, practically begging you not to stop, and you didn’t. You rocked your hips together through his orgasm, only stopping once he had calmed down again.

You climbed off him, and for a second, he feared you might leave, but instead, you turned back to him and held out your hand.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You said, smiling warmly at him.

“But you didn’t-“ Kazuichi started, but you shook your head.

“I wanted this time to be about you.” You responded, smiling lovingly at him.

Kazuichi felt his heart swell. He really couldn’t have gotten luckier. He needed you to know that.

So he stood up and gave you a kiss filled with love and happiness, and when he pulled away, you gave him a dopey smile and pulled him towards the bathroom. You took a shower together. Kazuichi wanted to care for you too, so he ran a warm bath. He got in and motioned for you to join him. You climbed in and sat down, letting yourself sink back against his chest. Kazuichi got some soap and threaded his hands through your hair. After washing your hair, he picked up a cup and helped you rinse the soap away.

You smiled contentedly and returned the favor by helping him wash his hair. You got out and dried off, and you brought Kazuichi a fresh pair of clothes that he had left at your house.

You got dressed and brushed your hair and teeth. As you were walking out of the bathroom, Kazuichi moved forward, sweeping you off the ground and throwing you lightly onto the bed. You laughed joyfully, head tilted back and eyes shining.

You helped him pull the covers back, and you both climbed into bed. You immediately curled your arms around him and pulled him closer. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning at you.

“I love you so much.” He told you softly, his heart swelling with love.

You smiled back at him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you too.”

#danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa #kazuichi souda #kazuichi imagine #kazuichi x reader #gender neutral s/o #smut #danganronpa smut #fluff #danganronpa fluff #kazuichi souda smut

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isagisyoichi · 3 years

Note

25 + isagi? hope you’re having a good day :33

EVANGELINE'S 100 EVENT ⭐️ (NOT TAKING ANYMORE REQUESTS)

ISAGI + PROMPT TWENTY-FIVE, “I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU”

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: isagi yoichi

WARNINGS: one swear literally just one LMAO but also italics are someone's thoughts

A/N: thank u for requesting this im in love with him and i’m also delusional so this was fun to write. i'm getting better at making these shorter but these are still relatively long FNFKXKDN also i hope ur having a good day too <3

you can’t help but smile at the boy on the other side of the facetime screen. isagi’s tired, you can tell. you can feel how heavy his blue eyes are. he struggles to keep them open for anything longer than a second, and almost every other word that comes out his mouth is interrupted by a drowsy yawn. he’s so cute when he’s tired, you think to yourself dreamily.

you know that isagi’s only staying up because you are. the act is sweet, just like your boyfriend, but you can’t help but feel a tad bit guilty when you see how hard isagi struggles to stay awake for you. even though it’s only like, 12am. (there’s many things isagi is good at, but you've come to find out staying up isn’t one of them).

“you know, you can go to sleep if you want to, yoichi,” you inform isagi with an understanding smile. as much as you’d like to stay on the phone with isagi until the sun rises, you’d be willing to sacrifice that to get your weenie of a boyfriend the sleep he so desperately needs. “i don’t mind, i promise.”

almost immediately, isagi sits up in an attempt to make himself look more awake. “it’s fine, i’m not tired,” he affirms, even though the yawn that erupts from him says otherwise. “i wanna stay up with you.”

“i can see how tired you are.”

“how can you see what i’m not?” isagi’s attempt at a retort (and that’s being generous) makes you let out a small snort of amusement. he’s lucky he’s cute, ‘cause that was terrible.

“that was fucking awful,” you say with a lighthearted laugh, as you ultimiately choose to verbalize your contrustrictive criticism towards his comeback.

isagi rolls his eyes at your crack at him. “shut up, y/n.” you give him the finger through the screen, making him smile at you affectionately, despite your actions being less than sweet. “but, it’s fine, i want to, i swear,” he reassures, “it’s for you, and i’d do anything for you.”

both you and isagi’s eyes go wide at his statement. isagi didn’t mean for that last part to be said out loud. it’s not that he didn’t mean it. he does, he really would do anything for you, but he doesn’t know if that came off as weird. he really hopes it didn’t.

and he’s right, of course, because it didn’t. “weird” would be the last thing you could have ever thought when hearing that. your stomach starts to twist and turn, and you feel yourself getting more shy as you really start to process his words. you start to fall a little harder the more you do.

it’s almost embarrassing how soft this boy makes you. stupid isagi yoichi, you think. stupid isagi and his stupid words and his stupid face. stupid, stupid, stupid.

trying to hide your bashfulness from his words, you reply with, “you’re so lame,” which is y/n-speak for “i love you.

luckily for him, isagi is fluent. “shut up, y/n.” i love you, too.

#🏷. evangeline's 100 event #loll i love writing for him sm pleaseee #isagi yoichi #blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #isagi x reader #blue lock headcanons

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sweetiejunie · 3 years

Text

It’s Because I Love you

Summary: Soobin dug himself into a hole and needed his bestfriend to help him out

Genre: Fluff, Friends-to-lovers, Slow-burn(ish)

Word count: ~10k (oops sry)

💕 Requested

A/n: to the anon that requested this. I’m so sorry this took me forever... haha~ I hope you liked it! And writing this actually reminded how much i like writing these. Do you guys prefer these kind of longer fics or the shorter reaction type fics?

Warnings: Some swearing

======================================

“Y/n i fucked up.”

Was first line that came out of soobin’s mouth when you opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for soobin to randomly show up at your place. But you really weren’t expecting his presence today, since you knew he would be busy packing to head home for the week break. You were about to greet him but before you could say anything, he beat you to it, his sentence laced with regret and panic. “What did you do this time?” You answered, “aren’t you supposed to be packing?” “I- excuse you what do you mean ‘this time’?” He mocked. “Okay, whatever, we’ll get back to that and yeah, i am, but I fucked up real bad,” he repeated. “Huh?” You took a step back so soobin could enter. “Are you alright? What happened?” “So you know how all my cousins and sibling are in a relationship right?” Soobin continued, making his way to your couch to sit down. Resting his head back against the cushions as he groaned. “Yeah, what about it?” Tilting your head as the conversation got more confusing by the second. You closed the door behind you before joining him. “Well... my brother just called me and may have been bothering me about being the only one that isn’t in a relationship...” he trailed off, “and erm, i may have said i... had a girlfriend. And now my family wants met her.” You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his confession, “you did what? You really dug yourself into a hole this time.” Soobin was the youngest of his family. He was always the one that chose to focus more on his grades than actually making friends. Sure, he went to parties and drank every now and then, but other than that, he rarely did anything short of the ‘perfect son’. But despite all his efforts, there was always one thing his sibling could tease him about, and that was the fact that he was 21 and has never been in a relationship. Soobin always tried to not let this bother him, but i guess today, he just snapped. “I really did,” he sighed. “That’s why i need your help.” “How can i possibly help you out of this, soobin?” you ridiculed, glaring at him. “You do know that you’re one of my only friends, right? Meaning, I won’t be able to find anyone to play girlfriend with you.” “Um, actually about that... i kind of told my family that my girlfriend goes to the same school as me and studies the same major as me. I also kind of told them that she has y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair.” He sat up, looking for a reaction from you. Instead, all he saw was your blank expression, staring back at him. “Yeah so, if you hadn’t caught on yet, i might have, sort of, just described you to my family.” Your eyes widened at his statement, you weren’t sure what to reply. You met soobin all the way back in high school, and you’ve stayed friends ever since — 5 years, 11 months, 23 days, to be exact. Not that you were keeping count or anything. You remember the first day you approached the shy boy, the new transfer student sitting at the back alone. He was the first friend you made there. And to makes things worse, you’ve had a crush on him, but you knew better than to confess and possibly ruin the friendship. You’ve suppressed all your feeling since then. Maybe. Probably. Okay, no. But you’ve tried. And all this talk of ‘pretend girlfriend’ did nothing but make your heart start racing again. “Why on earth would you do that!” “I dont know! You were the first person that came to mind! So are you okay with doing me the favour of playing the role of my girlfriend?” Soobin said with a slight pout and puppy dog eyes. A move he knew you could never refuse, “You’re free this break, right?” His sudden confession was like a blow to your heart. The first person that came to his mind... but it’s probably just because he didnt have many female friends, right? “Erm...” you paused. The more you thought about his proposition, the more you found yourself weighing the consequences. “Come on y/n. Please? We already get engaged every other week at clubs for free drinks. This won’t be that much different.” “Would your family believe it? I mean, it’s me.” “Sure they will. And it’ll be easy to fake it since you already know me.” You paused for another second before replying. “Hm, right. Fine. But you owe me. Do i have to bring anything?” You were helping out a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. “Nope, just bring enough clothes. You don’t need anything too fancy,” he stood up, leaning down to give you a quick hug. As he walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder before leaving your apartment. “Thanks for doing this, i really owe you. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow after our classes, alright? See you then.”

————-————-————-————-

After an hour, three outfit changes and completely unpacking and repacking your luggage twice, you were finally satisfied and ready to go. It was only a weeks worth of clothes in a small luggage, yet, you still found a way to overthink it. In the end, you had settled for a simple tee with jeans and a coat to keep you warm for the ride. Already, you were beginning to regret your decision of going along with this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ act. It had nothing to do with soobin or his family. They were absolutely wonderful, his parents were kind, his siblings were fun and sweet and his baby nephew was, well, a baby. The only problem was what if your heart liked the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ just a little bit too much? You had met his siblings and parents a handful of times when they visited him at his apartment. They’ve always been nothing but nice to you, and now, you were going to have to lie to them. The more you thought about it, the more your mind was playing angel and devil with you. On one hand, you didn’t want to spend the weekend being dishonest and possibly screwing up the image soobin’s family had of you. But on the other, you wanted to be selfish and be able to call soobin yours, even if it were just for a few days. You sighed quietly, sitting in your living room waiting for soobin to pick you up like he said he would. The entire day you had been unable to focus in your classes, whatever your lectures said just going right through your head. At this time on fridays, you would normally have found soobin dressed in any lounge wear he had, crashing at your place to watch whatever movie he found that week. But now, you were going to find him dressed up, ready to bring you to meet his parents. The relationship sure escalated quickly. Just as your mind started drifting further, your doorbell rang. “U ready?” Soobin’s signature eye smile greeted you, his front bunny teeth exposed. You’ve always noticed how soobin’s appearance resembled that of a bunny, but no matter how many times you tried to tell him, he didn’t want to believe it. “As ready as ill ever be,” you returned the smile, grabbing your luggage and locking your front door. Well, this was it, no turning back now. Helping you with your things, soobin lead you to his car and started the journey. It was only about a 3 hour drive and a car ride proved to be a great distraction. You hadn’t been to soobins hometown before, so being able to look out the window and see the scenery was no doubt better than sneaking glances at soobin in the drivers seat. You just knew that if you saw soobin, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other propped on the arm rest, you might have gone into cardiac arrest. The ride was quiet for the most part, that was until soobin pulled up at a red light. “I made a playlist,” soobin flipped his phone around to show you and connect it to his car. “It’s like, if you were my real girlfriend, this would be the playlist i would share with you.” You couldn’t help but smile when you realised how sweet soobin would be in an actual relationship. His future girlfriend is really lucky. But you had to control yourself, reminding yourself that it’s all just pretend for the week. “I’m sure its great. You have great taste in music,” you faked a laugh. “Um... so... soobin? How exactly are we supposed to fake this? I mean, what we supposed to do? What will your family do?” “Oh...” he started, his eyes focusing back on the road, the lights turning green again. “To be honest, i haven’t actually thought about that part yet.” Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought. “Mmm, when my brother first brought his girlfriend home, my family teased him a lot, just to make fun of him and get her reaction. But they already did that with you whenever they visited me so... I’m not sure what they’ll do, honestly.” “Oh...” That was completely unhelpful. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continued staring blankly out the window. “Hey, don’t worry too much okay? We’ll just wing it like we do everything else. And that’s worked out for us so far, right?” Soobin chuckled, trying to comfort you. “As for what we need to do. I guess it’ll just be all that couple stuff like holding hands and hugging. And you’re already such a cuddly person, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. We got this, alright? And I’ll be with you the entire time.” You nod a response, “yeah, we got this.” On the outside, you tried to seem cool and composed. On the inside however, you were a mess. Sure, you and soobin already had your fair share of cuddles when he showed up for a movie night at your place. And on the days he was too lazy to go back to his dorm, you would find him whining and groaning for you to make him breakfast the next day. But now you were expected to act that way in front of his family? That was a whole new level of stress you didn’t think about when you agreed to this. After a while more of driving, it was a little over 10pm when soobin finally pulled up alongside the curd in front of his house. The remainder of the car ride had been relatively silent, except for the playlist that soobin had made for you, and the occasional mindless singing you would start that turned into a carpool karaoke. Getting off, soobin unloaded his and your luggage and lead you to the front door. Probably noticing your nervous state, soobin grabbed your shaking hands. “I’m right here alright?” He smiled, “it’s show time.” With that, he rang the doorbell. And not 15 seconds later, soobin’s sister answered the door. “Soobin!” She greeted, pulling him into a hug, “we’ve been waiting for you and- oh! Y/n! I knew it. Same major, y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair. If it wasn’t you, i was about to kick his ass.” “Hah, yeah, surprise?” You said, the last part sounding more like a question than a sentence. “Aish, this boy. The previous night on the call, he just told us he’ll be bringing his girlfriend home, gave us a description but never told us who. Left us all to wonder who she was and well,” she chuckled, putting an arm around soobin’s shoulders, “if she even existed. I’m glad it’s you, the first time we met you, i already knew you two would end up together.” “Wait, so you all took guesses on who it was?” Soobin chimed in, shooting a glare at his sister. “Well, yea! All of us pretty much guessed y/n. Except for mom though, she’s kept quiet about it. But i guess it was just because she didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Looking at soobins annoyed expression, you laughed. Shrugging of his sisters arm, soobin grabbed both your luggage, pushing past his sister and pulled them into the house. “Alright, alright, just let us in already, its freezing out here.” “It’s nice to see you again y/n,” his sister said as she held the door open for you. “Likewise.” You smiled before stepping in. You’d never been to soobin’s house before. Sure, you’ve seen bits and pieces of it when the two of your FaceTimed over the holidays, but never in person. In the hallway where you stood, were the stairs that you presumed lead to the bedrooms. Sporadically placed were a few house plants that looked as if they had been watered quite recently. The walls were littered with family photos, and most noticeably, soobin’s baby pictures. You smiled looking at them, taking a mental image of the cute, little baby this giant once was. Closing the door behind you, soobins sister spoke, “you guys wait here. I think mom and dad are in the living room. I’ll go get them.” As you saw her silhouette disappear towards one of the entries, you felt the nerves building up again, “soobin...” you tilted you head up to look at him, your face portraying nothing but worry. “Don’t worry okay?” Taking your hand in his, gently squeezing for reassurance.“ Just follow my lead and pretend you’re in love with me. Which should be easy since I’m your favourite person,” he joked, in attempts to lighten your mood. ‘Pretend to be in love with him’. Okay, shouldn’t be too hard, considering the fact that you actually were in love with him and spent years pretending not to be. “Yea, alright.” Letting go of your hand, soobin walked forward to hug his parents when he saw them approaching. “Soobin, we were starting to wonder how long more you would take,” his mom said. “How are you? How’s everything at school?” “Everything’s fine,” he replied. Turning to you, he held out his hand for you to take. “Mom, dad, you know y/n.” Accepting his hand, you stepped forward to greet his parents. Just hoping that your nervous trembling wasn’t too obvious to the naked eye. “Ah of course! How could we ever forget,” his mom smiled. “We always knew the two of you would end up together eventually. He’s always been so obvious about you,” his dad added, causing blood to rush to your cheeks, and soobin to immediately retaliate. “Dad! Stop it. No i have not!” You looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met your eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face never faltered. Hitting her husbands arm, soobins mom scolded, “aish, stop teasing them, they just got here. Speaking of which, have you two eaten?” “No we havent, actually. We came right after school,” soobin answered. “In that case, you can take yours and y/n stuff up to your room and get settled in. I’ll order some food for you. Pizza sound okay?” his mom spun soobin around, pushing him back to where your luggage laid. “His room?” You thought out loud. Of course they were expecting you to share a room with soobin. What else could you have possibly thought. “Of course his room,” his mom answered, “you have known each other for such a long time. And i have no doubts there are days that soobin stayed over at your apartment instead of his dorm anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch.” With that, you and soobin grabbed your things and headed up to his room. Sure, the nights soobin stayed over you have shared a bed before. But this time, it just felt different. Even though everything was still purely platonic, the element of you being in his home, pretending to be his girlfriend, was still no doubt intimidating. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Soobin asked rhetorically, snapping you out of your thoughts. He laughed, clearly taking the whole situation a lot lighter than you were. Opening the door to his room, it was exactly how you pictured it when he called you. You stood at the doorway, it seemed so familiar, yet unknown at the same time. His bed in the corner of the room with a few pillows and plushies, at the other end, his desk and wardrobe filled with clothes he left behind. His walls were mainly bare, except for one that had a few old polaroids hanging loosing from the ceiling. It felt weird being there. “Well, don’t just stand there,” soobin grabbed your luggage from you, pulling you in to the room so he could close the door behind you and crashing down on his bed. “First, let me give you the official welcome to mi casa. My family is a lot, but you already knew that. Make yourself at home.” “Honestly, i cant believe they bought it so easily,” you let out, taking a seat next to him. “Told you they would. My family probably loves you more than they love me.” You laughed halfheartedly, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing. “We should clean up before we head back to the wolves den for dinner. The bathroom is right down the hall to the right. You can go first, ill clear a drawer for you,” he offered. You nod, gathering your things for the night. This is all just pretend.

————-————-————-————-

The shower definitely helped calm you down a bit. You loved the warmth of the water against your skin. “It’s just for a week. Dont get used to it,” you muttered to yourself. Getting out, you quickly dressed yourself in a tshirt and some shorts. The normal attire you wore to sleep, anything else was always just uncomfortable for you. “You’re turn,” you announced when you entered soobins room again. “That was quick. Here, take one of my sweaters.” “What for?” You shot him a look, raising brow. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t stole his hoodies before, it was just the fact that he was offering it this time. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, aren’t you? Girlfriends always take their boyfriend’s clothes.” Fishing a plain, red sweater out from his wardrobe, he threw it in your direction, hitting you directly in the face and causing you to yelp a little. “Besides, you already take all my hoodies. This is no different,” he continued, eyeing you as you pulled it over your head. As usual, soobin’s clothes were huge on you. And this sweater was no doubt oversized, even for him. “How do i look?” You looked to him when you didn’t get a reply. But this only caused him to turn away from you quickly, mumbling something to himself before answering, “it’s my clothes, it’ll look great on everyone.” Scrambling to gather his things, he left for his shower. You could have swore you saw him blushing when he was looking at you. But you brushed it off as your overactive imagination. You decided to swiftly blow dry your hair before laying on his bed, scrolling through your phone while waiting for him. You were hungry, practically starving, but there was no way in hell you were going to face his family again on your own. With your new status, god knows what they would do or say. A mere 15 minutes go by before you hear the door open again. Revealing a damp haired soobin, dressed in a white tee and sweatpants. A simple look you have seen many times over the years, but one that still made your head and thoughts hazy. “Ready to go down?” He spoke, smirking at you, almost knowingly, “I’m starving.” “Ye- yeah,” gathering your thoughts, bringing yourself back to reality.

————-————-————-————-

Dinner with the family wasnt all that bad. Sure, there was the occasional teasing and questions. But that was to be expected. Any parent would have been curious, right? You let soobin take the lead on most of those. You didn’t want your cover to get blown by having any clashing answers. Once in a while you would feel soobin grab your hand under the table when he needed your help, but for the most part, they were the basic questions like “since when?” Or “who confessed first?”. The usual relationship stuff, nothing too hard. And it was a lot easier with the fact that it was you and soobin, the two friends that have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of situations. At the end of the day, the awkwardness ended soon after it started. With it being past midnight, Soobin’s family had long gone to bed, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit kitchen to finish up your dinner, which had quickly became supper. “So, how was day one of being my girlfriend?” He looked over to you, munching on another piece of pizza. Even in that horrible lighting, he still managed to take your breath away. No one could possibly look good with dull, ugly, yellow kitchen lighting, but somehow, he did. The way the soft light bounced off his skin, partnered with the reflection in his eye that gave that perfect shine to them. You were sure you looked horrid next to him. “Mmm, it’s alright i guess,” you teased, earning a pout from soobin. “You big baby. I’m just kidding,” nudging him on the shoulder, causing you both the laugh. You didn’t know why this question surprised you as much as it did. Maybe you wanted to flip the tables, or maybe you just weren’t expecting the answer he gave. “So how was day one of having me as your pretend girlfriend?” He thought about it for a second before facing you and speaking. “Honestly, it’s been fun. Even though we haven’t done much. But then again, i always knew you would be great girlfriend to someone one day.” ‘Someone’. If only you could tell him how much you wanted that someone to be him. If only you had the guts to say what’s was on your mind. “Want to play some music?” Breaking the silence, soobin picked up his phone, quickly scrolling through his playlists before stopping on one he named ‘midnight’. “It’s just some chill songs i found that i thought would be nice to listen to at night.” The playlist started and the first song to play was ‘what falling in love feels like’. “Oh, i love this song,” you mindlessly stated between bites. “Really?” Soobin replied. “I never heard you listen to classical music.” Your eyes widened slightly when you realised what you said. You didn’t just listen to classical music. You’ve also imagined what it would be like to slow dance to it. “I never really told anyone... but i always wanted to dance with someone to this song. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit,” you trailed off, the surface of the counter suddenly becoming more interesting. The dead of night had you confessing unspoken words. There was another second of silence. You could feel soobin’s stare on your face. He was judging you. You were sure of it. Now you were just mentally preparing yourself for a laugh- “Let’s dance.” “What?” You weren’t expecting that. You shot your head up, seeing his outstretched hand. “Let’s dance,” he repeated. You reached for his hand, but didn’t grab it. You were hesitant. Never would you have thought you’d be slow dancing with your crush — of over 3 years, in the kitchen of his childhood home — at midnight. He held you hand, helping you to stand before twirling you into his arms. He lead your hands around his neck and his around your waist. You fell in step, letting the rhythm control your movements. Your eyes gazing into his brown, glistening ones, a soft smile on his face. It felt like a dream. Your surroundings and any other disturbances dissolved. It was just you and him. Right here, right now. You stayed like that, dancing. Everything felt just... perfect. “You know i’d never judge you right?” He said, his eyes watching your expressions closely. “I know that’s what you were thinking earlier.” You looked away, unable to find the right words. Soobin always had a way to read you so easily. Every once in a while he would remind you how expressive your face was. And you were certain a blush had crept to your cheeks when you heard soobin chuckle. “You silly girl. You can tell me anything. You know that. After all, you are my best friend.” “Right... best friend,” you offered a small smile to mask the resignation in your words. And just like that, the song ended. Soobin let go your waist. Leaving nothing the ghostly feeling of where his hands once were and the sensation of having his body so close to yours. “It’s nearly 1am. We should go to bed soon,” he nodded towards the clock on the stove. “You can head up first. I’ll clean up here and join you in a bit.” You nodded. Once you were back in his room, you crashed on his bed. Regret and agony the only things left for you to feel. Why did you agree to this. You knew it would be hard. But not this hard. You rolled over to your side of the bed. And true to his word, soobin entered shortly after. Climbing under the covers with you, poking your side when you paid no attention to him. You jumped, immediately facing him. “What was that for!?” “Nothing,” he laughed. “It’s just fun to do that to you. I have a fun day planned tomorrow, so get up early. Good night y/n.” “Good night, asshole.” You scoffed.

The next morning you woke up to a post-it on your head. You tore it off and looked around the room but soobin was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, sitting up to stretch and read the note. ‘Wake up sleepyhead. Come to the kitchen for breakfast.’ Oh, how you wished the entire night before had been a dream. But alas, it wasn’t. Pulling yourself out of bed, you cleaned yourself up and descend the stairs. The smell of fresh pancakes engulfing the entire house. “Good morning y/n,” soobin’s dad greeted you when you entered the kitchen. “Grab a seat. Breakfast is almost done.” “Your dad cooks?” You whispered as you pulled out the stool next to soobin. “Mainly breakfast. But yes,” he whispered back. Soobin’s dad placed a plate in front of each of you. 3 pancakes a piece, and more to come. “Butter or maple syrup?” “Both,” soobin smugly answered. “And you y/n?” “Ill have both as well, thanks,” you smiled before facing soobin. “Where’s your mom and sister?” “My mom went to the store. And my sister doesn’t get up till later.” Soobin grabbed the syrup his father had just put on the table and poured a generous amount. His attention was fully on his food. You couldn’t help but grin at his childlike manner. He always loved breakfast. Or any dish that can be both sweet and savoury actually. You both enjoyed your breakfast, watching soobin’s father flip pancakes, cheering when it landed, and messing around while cooking as your morning source of entertainment. “The pancakes are really good, mr choi,” you complimented. “Why, thank you y/n. You always have been such well mannered,” he said. “Hopefully some of that will rub off on my son soon.” “Hey! I am well mannered,” soobin retorted. “Oh, really now,” you taunted, giving him a look of disbelief. Soobin tsked, lightly pushing you over. “Okay, whatever. Anyways, hurry up. I’m going to show you around town today.” “You two don’t come back too late now,” his father added. “And bring a coat, it’s supposed to get colder today.” Stuffing down the remainder of his food, soobin linked your arms and dragged you out of the kitchen the moment he saw your plate empty. “Hey! I’m not done yet, i wanted one mo-!” “Bye dad!” Soobin interrupted, ignoring your plea.

————-————-————-————-

“So much being well mannered.” You mocked. “Not my fault you wanted to eat so much,” he shrugged. Both of you strolled along the road. You weren’t sure where soobin was bringing you, other than his aforementioned ‘town’. Despite it just being the two of you, soobin still dressed nicely, in a turtleneck and scarf with a black coat to go over it. “Wait...” you started, noticing a passing sign. “Why does that say the town is the other way?” “Cause i changed my mind. I’m bringing you somewhere else,” he replied, shooting you one of his, oh so charming, eye smiles. “I’ll bring you to town another day.” “This way’s to the forest,” you raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to kill me or something? After 6 years of friendship. This is how you want to end it?” You dramatically gripped your chest and joked. “I’m sorry for whatever i did. I can change, I swear.” Soobin rolled his eyes and guffawed. “Of course. This has been my plan all along. To befriend you then brutally murder you among the trees where no one can find your body,” he played along. “Relax, I’m no murderer. An avid liar? Maybe. But not a murderer. I just want to show you something.” You hummed a response and continued on your way. Not long after, soobin was leading you down a path in the deserted forest. As the path reached deeper into the woods, the trees got denser. “Erm, soobin, where are we going?” You called from behind him. “I’m really starting to question the whole murder thing.” You’re not going to lie when you say the woods kind of crept you out. You could have sworn you felt someone behind you. But when you turned around, there wasn’t a soul. The twigs and dead leaves making a deafening crunch under your feet as the — seemingly never-ending — journey continued. “Just trust me,” he provided a simple answer that proved to be of no help in ensuring you. As you continued, the sound of snapping twigs got louder. You turned the corner and the sudden sound of birds fleeing their nest startled you, causing you to jump and grab soobin’s coat from the back. “Are you really that scared?” He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he continued, turning around and reaching for your hand. Gently running his thumb over yours the rest of the way. “We’re almost there. It’s worth it, i promise.” Having his hand in yours definitely provided some comfort. But it was also making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. After another minute of walking, you finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The horrid crunching sound had been washed out by the sound of, well, rushing water. A waterfall. You gasped in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue waterfall. It was spurting over the basalt rock, spilling eel-like over the ledges. Its clamorous passage at the foot of the mountain threw up bubbles of spray. They sparkled uneasily in the beams of light that shined through the leaves of surrounding trees. When it toppled into the ecstasy-pool, it foamed it at the bottom. The rest of the pool was as clear as cellophane, allowing you to see down into the rocky bottom. Fronds of forest-green plants waved gently in the depths. The waterfall looked like a sheet of blue velour as it swished down. Its edges were hemmed with whipped-white lines. “Wow,” was all you managed to utter out. “I told you it was worth it,” soobin grinned. “Come on.” He lead you closer, collapsing on the bank and letting the nougat sweet smell of flowers wash over him. You followed suit. “How did you find this place?” “A friend of mine showed it to me when we were kids.” He said, leaning back against his palms. “We used to hang out all the time here. The five of us. That is, until i moved away for high school. “I wonder what they’re up to now.” He added after a slight pause. “You don’t see them when you come back for the holidays?” You asked. Soobin shook his head. “I don’t get to see them much anymore. I barely leave my house, y/n, you know that. Besides, they’re all busy with their own lives.” You listened to soobin reminisce about his childhood. You would listen to soobin talk for hours if you could. His words are were like gold to you, or perhaps some elixir you’ve been waiting all your days to hear. He had nothing but good things to say. It sounded like he had a lot of fun here, in the small town he grew up in. You both sat there for a while, gawking at the waterfall when the suddenly rustling of the bushes behind you caught your attention. “Y/n,” soobin stood up, holding you behind him as the rustling got louder. And then a figure walked through, a boy. He was wearing a brown furry jacket. His hair was a strange shade a pink, but it complimented his skin tone nicely. “Soobin?” The boy said, folding his arms. “No way. Is that actually you? Mr choi soobin. After all these years.” “Yeonjun?” Soobin replied, letting go of you and walking up to yeonjun. “What are you doing here?” “I was on my way out and thought i saw you earlier entering the forest so i decided to follow you. Who else knows this place anyway?” Yeonjun laughed, swinging an arm around soobin’s shoulder. “So you practically followed, what could have been, a complete stranger into the forest?” Soobin shot him a look. To that, yeonjun just smiled and nodded. “You never change, do you?” “Nope,” yeonjun answered confidently. “Anyways, are you going to introduce me to the pretty lady or do i have to do that myself?” He gestured a smile towards you. Beside him, soobin stiffened, his jaw slightly tensing before he answered. “Right... Yeonjun, y/n. We met in high school, she’s my best friend. Y/n, yeonjun. He was one of my friends i was telling you about-” “Yeah, until this bastard moved, changed his number and practically became a hermit that never left his house much.” Yeonjun jibed. “Hmm, that sounds about right. The only place I’ve seen him, other than class or the library, is at my apartment binge watching shows,” you added, causing yeonjun to burst out a laugh. “You guys are mean.” Soobin grumbled, pushing yeonjun’s arm off him. “I have a feeling she and i are going to be great friends.” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly. The three of you sat there, talking for what seemed like hours. Soobin and yeonjun continued to tell you about the different adventures they had together as kids with their friends, beomgyu, kai and taehyun. They recounted all the accidents that happened, all the fun moments they had together. Yeonjun eventually proceeded to tell you about all the embarrassing soobin stories he could think of, sharing jokes and making you laugh. The entire time though, soobin barely directed any conversation at you. Let alone laugh at Yeonjun’s ‘jokes’. As your laughter died down, yeonjun spoke again. “I have to ask though, what’s she doing doing here? Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious. Does she live around here too?” You looked to soobin, unsure of how or what to answer. “It’s okay, yeonjun won’t snitch,” he said. “Y/n’s pretending to be my girlfriend for the holiday.” It hurt you every time he said it. In your head you wished so badly for it to be real. To think, by now you would have learnt that wishing only wounds the heart. And each time soobin said it out loud, it was like a punch to the gut. “Pretending to be your-“ yeonjun cut himself off by scoffing. “What for?” “Well....” soobin started explaining the whole situation to yeonjun. To which the only response he got out of the other boy was mockery and disbelief. “Are you serious?!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “So you two aren’t together?” You shook your head. “Oh... good....” he mumbled, grinning in the process. “You have got to be kidding me. But you guys do you, i guess. My lips are sealed. “I hate to ruin the moment but i have to go. It was nice meeting you y/n.” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It was nice to see you again too, soobin. But let know, the next time you’re back.” “Right, ill keep that in mind.” Soobin replied. Just as yeonjun started to walk away, he stopped and turned around once more. “Oh! Right. How long are you guys staying? I’m meeting beomgyu, tae and kai on monday at the diner. You should come,” his eyes travelled to you, “both of you.” “We cant-“ “We would love to!” You cut soobin off, “come on soobin, you haven’t seen your friends in ages. I would be nice to say ‘hi’ again.” Soobin stared at you for a second. Maybe it was the excitement in your face or maybe he truly did want to see his friends again. But in the end he agreed. “Great! Ill see you two monday at 5.” Yeonjun ended, giving a small salute before leaving, for real this time. Soobin went back to the bay, laying down on the grass, letting out a long held sigh. He stared up at the sky that was quickly becoming darker. The stars and moon announcing their arrival. “You alright?” You asked, sitting down next to him. “Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” He answered, his eyes still closed. “I don’t know. You just seemed... off just now. Like my or yeonjun’s presence bothered you.” “It’s nothing. Im just tired.” He sighed again, sitting up. “While on the subject, we should head back. It’s getting dark.” He stood up and started walking without another word. Was he mad at you? No... he had no reason to be, right? Was he mad about the joke you made with yeonjun? You quickly caught up to him and followed him out of the forest. Other than your footsteps against the concrete road and the cicadas that came out to say their daily greetings, the awkward silence followed the rest of the way. “I’m not annoyed at you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” soobin broke the silence. The entire walk you had your focus on the ground, not noticing the stolen glances soobin took. “Stop sulking. People are going to think i kicked your puppy or something.” He chuckled, bending his waist slight to look at your face. His face was mere inches away from yours. Memories from the previous night came flooding back. You didn’t offer a response, not trusting the words that would escape your lips in that moment. Instead just turning your face to the other side to avoid his stare. Soobin let out a light hearted laugh and continued walking. You recalled how soobin always said you had an expressive face. He must have seen something you didn’t realise. The sky got darker as you continued down the road. The cool winter breeze greeting the concrete and skin just the same, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Mentally cursing the fact that, other than your khaki coat, you didn’t think to wear more layers that morning. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you cold?” Soobin asked, already shedding off his cherry red, wool scarf. “No, it’s alright, you’ll get cold,” grabbing his hands to stop his actions. “I’ll be fine. And we’re only about 5 minutes away,” he argued, wrapping his scarf around your neck. He took your hand, pulling you behind him the rest of the way quickly before you ‘caught a cold’. The scarf sat snug to your skin, soft and gentle, the ends becoming a colourful flag in the wintry winds. It was still warm from where it sat before. You could smell of his cologne on it. Faint, from the day’s activities. But still prominent enough to know it’s existence. Your hands trembled in his and you thanked the cold for that excuse. Burying your face deeper into his scarf before he could make out the slight blush that painted your cheeks. When you reached soobin’s home again, there was a faint chattering echoing through house. “Oh, i think my older sister’s came for a visit.” Soobin’s older sister. The one that’s the account, married, with the baby — soobin’s nephew — and the lovely husband. You’ve only ever met them once, well that, and the occasional pictures soobin would send you of him and his nephew. Seeing soobin with babies did things to your heart thats you didn’t like. You’ve already imagined the unlikely scenario of what it would be like to have soobin as your boyfriend. You can’t go fantasising an entire family as well. But you had to admit, he would make a great dad one day. “Soobin!” His older sister ran and hugged him. He’s always had such a close bond with his siblings. “Mom and dad told me you brought your girlfriend home this time.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Hey sis. And yeah, y/n. You know her,” soobin turned to you. “Of course. The last time i saw you two I knew you’d end up together.” She cheered as if she had just won the lottery. So, from what you’ve gathered, soobin’s entire family had always had some hopes on the two of two. You wanted to smile at that fact. But at same time, you were lying to them right now. It was a bittersweet feeling. The remainder of the night went on rather unproductive. You had dinner with his family, chatted with them, played with the baby and that was about it. The worst part came when the family decided to watch a movie together. The movie was great, dont get me wrong. You all sat together and watched kingsman again. Even though it was the tenth time you’ve seen it, it was still yours and Soobin’s favourite. The bad part came when you had to find a seat. The family couch say four, soobin’s mom, dad and sisters. The older’s husband took one of the arm chairs, leaving you and soobin to share the other. In other words, you ended up having to sit on his lap. “I can just sit on the floor, its no problem,” you suggested. “Nonsense. I won’t let you sit on the floor,” soobin rebutted, holding your waist, pulling you back onto his lap. You swear, if it wasn’t for the dimness of the room, the redness of your face would have matched that of the fire place. Throughout the movie you found it extremely hard to pay attention. Soobin had left one of his hands to rest on your knee and the other around your back. Sure, he was probably just putting on a show for his family. But he didn’t have to do the thumb thing as well. Or gently whisper in your ear, so close that you could feel his breath against your neck. The rest of the time you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat — which just so happened to be soobin’s lap. As interesting as the fight scene on screen was or the dramatic music playing, the only thing you could focus on was the fact that soobin’s hand had now traveled to your thigh. And underneath you, soobin’s breathing was becoming short and uneven. He was starting to stir as well before getting up, forcing you to stand and murmuring, “I’m going to head to bed early. You guys enjoy the rest of the movie.” Within the next beat of the soundtrack, he was dashing out of the living room and running up the stairs. What...? You weren’t the only one wondering that. Soobin’s family were now staring at you, his mothers brows furrowed, his sister’s head tilted quizzically. “He said he’s tired,” you blurted, face-palming in your head. Great. You already felt out of place and this certainly wasn’t helping. You sat down on the, now vacant, chair and continued the rest of the movie with his family. I’m sure he’s fine. You can always ask him tomorrow.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up to an empty bed again. But this time there was no post it note or anything from soobin. So you assumed he’d be in the kitchen like before. “Morning y/n,” it was his older sister this time. “Morning.” You looked around. No sight of soobin. “Where’s soobin?” “Oh he didn’t tell you? He went out for a walk around 20 minutes ago.” Why didn’t he wait for you? “Yeah, he didn’t. Did he say where he was going or when he’ll be back?” You asked. To that, she just shook her head. Oh...

“I almost forgot,” she continued. “There was a note for you. I left it on the counter for you.”

You picked it up, hoping to see Soobin’s name as the regards, telling you his whereabouts. Instead, the note was fairly short.

Hey y/n!

Once again i just wanted to welcome you to town. It was really nice meeting you yesterday! Maybe we could hang out some time?

(Hopefully) Your friend,

Yeonjun

Did Soobin see it? Either way, why does it matter. After breakfast, you decided to wait for soobin to come home. If he didn’t tell where he was going, it means he cant be gone long, right? You sat in his room, figuring it would be the only place you didnt have to face his family members. It was only about an hour and a half of waiting and a lunch break, that you got bored. You could only scroll your phone so much before it started to get more redundant than it already was. So, checking the weather report, you got dressed and left for a walk around. You hadn’t seen much of the area yet, it wouldn’t be harmful to do some exploring. Learning your lesson from yesterday, you put on a wool sweater underneath your coat. A pair of dr marten to match. It was a rather fine day out. You walked under the sun that warmed your skin, but the cool winds keeping the temperature cool enough. The only thing that would make this better would be if soobin were with you... “Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you. You turned around and saw a familiar lock of pink hair running towards you, frantically waving his arms. He was wearing a leather jacket today. Behind him was someone else that chased after him. He had nicely styled, bleached blonde hair and was slightly short than yeonjun was. “Oh, hi.” You greeted the two of them. “Fancy running into you again.” “I know, right!” He agreed, a bit more enthusiastically than what you would imagine. “Why are you alone? Where’s soobin?” “No clue. He just took off this morning. Didn’t tell me anything and i got bored of sitting around alone.” “Maybe the pressure of a relationship getting to him,” yeonjun suggested. “It’s fake though,” you mocked. He just shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less of a commitment.” You hummed a reply. “Fair enough.” “Anyway. If you have nothing better to do... taehyun and i,” he said, gesturing towards to boy beside him, “were just headed to the arcade in town. Care to join us?” “Sure, I don’t see why not.” You followed as yeonjun and taehyun lead you through the town soobin said he would bring you to. Every corner they turned, they greeted someone new. From little kids to elderly ladies and gentlemen. Small town, i guess everyone knew everyone. Eventually, they stopped in front of a building, the arcade. The pings from the pinball machines, the bullets from the shooting games, and the ‘jackpot’ announcements, all a dead give away. From the outside, the building looked old and rundown. The paint was old and cracking as if it hadn’t been repainted in years. Even the neon signs provided to the retro aesthetic, casting a purple-red hue over everything. You stood there, taking in the atmosphere for a second. It sure was different from any arcade you had back in the city. You glanced around, when a figure at one of the pinball machines caught your eye. “Soobin?” You spoke out loud. Confused, yeonjun and taehyun followed your gaze to said figure. “What in the?” You walked up to him. the further into the arcade you went, the louder everything got. Tapping him on the shoulder, you just about had to yell to have any sort of conversation. “Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with the same expression as culprit that had just been caught red-handed. You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “So you ditched me to come play games alone?” “Um, kind of? Not really though,” he said. His eyes darting towards the two boys that to came up behind you. “You came with taehyun and... Yeonjun?” “Hey soob, long time no see,” taehyun added. “I went out for a walk and ran into them,” a quick and easy reason. “You could have just told me if you wanted to come to town alone, you know? You don’t have to sneak off at the crack of dawn.” “Nice to see you too tae. And I do want to show you around the town. It’s just,” his eyes travelled between you and yeonjun, back to you in a blink. “I just needed a break from things for a while.” “Hm, alright,” you accepted his explanation, but something still felt weird. “Since we’re already here, there’s no use standing around.” Yeonjun spoke. “Y/n, come play the shooting game with me!” Before you could reply, yeonjun was already dragging you towards one of the machines. Leaving taehyun and soobin to do whatever it was they did. He handed you one of the guns available and scanned his arcade card. The entire time you could feel eyes watching you, but shook it off. Yeonjun was pretty good at the game, you had to admit. He spent a lot of time here, you assumed. Time seemed to disappear the longer you were in the arcade. The atmosphere around you never changed. It was still as lively and colourful as when you first walked in. The bright lights and loud music blasting, disrupting your senses. But outside, the sun was quickly setting. “Good game, y/n,” taehyun offered a handshake after you beat him at yet another game of air hockey. You took it. “Not too shabby yourself.” Beside you, yeonjun and soobin clapped for your victory. “We should probably go back soon,” Soobin said, showing the clock on his phone. It was nearly 8pm. Time sure flies when you’re having fun. You all travelled back together. Turns out yeonjun and taehyun only lived a street away from soobin. “See you tomorrow,” taehyun and yeonjun waved goodbye as you parted ways, leaving you and soobin to go your way. Neither of you said a thing to each other. And for reason you were having trouble thinking of a conversation starter, this hasn’t happened before. Usually you and soobin had endless things to talk about. It didn’t matter how stupid or unimaginable it was, the two of you never ran out of things to say. “When you were a kid, did you ever pretend you were smoking in winter?” You said the first thing that came to mind, the cold air making your breath visible, helping to elaborate your question. You laughed at yourself, holding your fingers up in a peace sign, imagining a cigarette between them. “Yeah, when i was like 7.” Okay, ouch. Soobin’s answer was short, providing no further conversation. You pressed your lips together, stuffing your hands in your pockets as embarrassment crept up on you. So much for never feeling judged. The rest of the night you didn’t speak much. Every attempt you made just being shot down with one liners. Every time you showed soobin a funny video or meme, he gave little to no response. And eventually you gave up. This continued to the following day. Sure, soobin was an introvert. You knew that. But he’s never ignored you to this extent. Was he getting sick of having you around everyday? If that was the case, he should just tell you, you’d give him all the space he needs. You can’t lie and say you weren’t hurt by that thought. Your crush was ignoring you. That would have hurt anyone. And right now, you felt nothing more than a parasite in his home. “Come on, we have to go meet the others,” the first words he’s said to you in hours.

You followed quietly as soobin brought you to the diner. When you arrived, the others were already there. Yeonjun and taehyun, along with two new faces. Beomgyu and Huening Kai, you figured from previous conversations. They sat at a semi-circle booth meant for four with two extra chairs at the end. One of which occupied by taehyun as the other three shared the banquette bench. “Soobin! Y/n!” They waved. Yeonjun sat at one of the ends and shifted when he spotted you enter. “Y/n, i saved you a seat next to me,” he said smugly, smirking and cocking his head to the space beside him. You rolled your eyes at his antics, lips curling upwards. Soobin’s expression remained hard, unbothered and unimpressed even. But you didn’t question it, he’s been like that since yesterday. And frankly, you’ve gotten sick of it. Might as well spend time with someone that actually wants your attention. You got along well with the boys. You learnt that Kai and taehyun went to the same school and beomgyu had just graduated recently. Most of the time though, was spent whispering jokes between yeonjun and yourself. And at some point of the night, he had managed to sneak an around the back of the booth. On the other side, Beomgyu and Kai snickered to each other and eventually shook hands, some bet or deal you presumed. All of a sudden you heard one of the chairs beside you shift. The feet scratching against the tiled floor. And the next thing you knew, soobin was walking out the door, the bell ringing behind him. “Where’s he going?” Kai asked. “No clue,” Beomgyu answered. Taehyun just shrugged. All your attentions still on the door that had already been shut. “Um, ill go check on him,” you announced, running out of the diner after him. Sure, you and him weren’t on good terms at the moment, but nontheless he was still your best friend, and a huge part of you still cared for him. “Soobin, wait!” You called, but he kept walking. “Soobin!” You tried again, chasing after him. “Stop right there choi soobin!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the empty street. The boys silhouette stood still. But never did he turn to look at you. “Dont you dare take another step!” Never once in five years have you ever felt intimidated by him. But with his large figure being illuminated by nothing but the dull, yellow street lights, you couldn’t say that anymore. There was silence as you gathered your thoughts, making your way towards him. You had him right in front of you. Now what? You wanted soobin back. Your soobin. “What’s going on with you?” Your feet stopped on their own accord, right behind the tall boy. “You’ve been acting strange.” No answer. “Soobin, don’t ignore me!” You said again, desperation and annoyance laced in your tone. “I don’t know what you want me to say y/n,” he sighed, trying to keep his temper from exploding. “I want a damn explanation, soobin,” anger from the previous day slowly consuming you. “Do you know how much of an asshole you’re being? God! I try to talk to you, but it’s just like i’m talking to a god damn wall! So, you can either tell me what’s going on or I’m on the next bus home tomorrow.” No answer. But you could tell the last part hit him hard. He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure you would see the remorse and anger in his eyes. He hated that you were mad. He hated that you were yelling. But most of all he hated that he was the cause of it. “You asked me to come play girlfriend with you and i did,” you sighed, continuing when he started walking again. “I only did because,” swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re... you’re my best friend.” Best friend. “I’m your best friend... you can me anything, you know that.” You quoted his words. “There’s some things better left unsaid,” he offered before walking away again. “I’m sorry y/n.” “No!” You cried, stopping his tracks. “Apology not accepted.” You could see frustration building in soobin. His hand pinching his temple, his shoulders tensed as you spoke. “You said you’d be by my side the whole time! But since the waterfall you’ve barely talked to me! You leave me in situations on my own, you’re ignoring me and you randomly take off without a word. You’re doing it right now! So, again, you can either tell me what’s going on or-“ “It’s because i love you, okay!?” Now it was your turn to stay silent. Soobin let out a sigh, turning to face you. “Is that what you want to hear?! I love you, y/n!” His tone got softer, “I love you so much. For as long as i can remember knowing you. It hurts when I see you with other people. Especially people that so blatantly flirt with you in front of me. You’re stunning, beautiful. Even a fool could see it. But you’re also so much more than that. “You were the only person that bothered to come talk to me the first day of school. Others probably viewed me as the weird, loser kid that sat alone during lunch. But you didn’t. You were my first and only friend for years. Before i knew it, i had a crush on you. At first, i thought it was just a phase. But it wasn’t, y/n. And now, im so hopelessly head over heels for you. “I know, I haven’t earned your heart. I never will. I could spend a million years worshiping you and still not earn it. You’re my best friend, i know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I know you’re mad at me. And i know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please... please, don’t leave me.” He sounded raw, real in a way you’ve never heard before. When he was done, he was closely inspecting the road, afraid to look up. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, waiting for your rejection. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked, keeping emotion from your voice. He shrugged and laughed. “You’re my best friend, I didn’t want to lose you.” You let one hand slide against his cheek, resting your palm there. “You wouldn’t have.” “Wha-“ “I love you too, you doofus.” You felt the pull of a muscle as his lips twitched. “Really?” “Yes. Really. For as long as i can remember.” Soobin, your best friend — now, boyfriend — pulled you into his arms. “I love you, y/f/n. And I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. What can i say to make you forgive me?” “Words only mean so much. Actions speak louder, don’t you agree?” “I do.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against yours. “Am i forgiven?” He asked rhetorically. You laugh. “Only because i love you.” “Yes! I told you so!” You turned and saw Kai yelling and celebrating, pointing fingers at beomgyu. Taehyun and yeonjun shaking their heads in disappointment. What a crazy group of friends they were.

#txt post #txt imagines #txt imagine #txt reactions #txt fanfic #soobin fluff #soobin fanfic #soobin imagines

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dianapana · 3 years

Text

SH Day 2: Fashion Statement

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

Bullies exist everywhere you look, in school, at work, on the street and most of all, on the internet. Countless bullies hide behind the anonymity the internet provides them in order to bring down strangers for no apparent reason. But there is always a reason, jealousy, an inferiority complex, a superiority complex, or plain and simple the bully is a pile of trash and no one should call it a human being. One of the worst things one can do when being active on social media is read the comments, because no matter how many positive comments there are, one bad comment outweighs them all. Scrolling through my Instagram I see the perfect example of this issue. Hinata is barely an acquaintance, I have not seen her since middle school almost a decade ago, she’s not active on any social media, or at least she wasn’t until today. The picture in front of me brings back all of my past thoughts of her, how pretty her face looked, how refreshing and pleasant her lower voice tone was; out of most people I was aware of at the time, she was one of the least annoying. The only thing that bothered me at times was her meek demeanour, how easy she’s fold under the pressure of bullies; and it would appear that she had not changed in that particular category.

The picture was there, I liked it, I looked through the comments, I saw all the negative ones, I saw them misgendering her due to her short hair and baggy clothes, I saw them calling her names; and then there was nothing, because the picture no longer existed. Much like in school, the bully applied pressure on her, and she caved in on herself and chose to hide.

I wish I had taken a screenshot of the picture to post myself, but that would have been an invasion of privacy. She looked older and more mature, her hair was much shorter than in middle school, almost a buzz cut. She had always worn baggy clothes, but her style developed to streetwear, all in all, the picture was, in my opinion, a work of art. But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared. I can’t explain why it bothers me this much the fact that she took it down, but it just does.

I hate all the entitled fucks that think people own them anything. Females do not own them femininity, males don’t own them masculinity and gender non-conforming people don’t own them an androgynous appearance. Gender and fashion style are different issues, they can reflect each other or not. People use clothes for various reasons, as art, as means of expression, or they use them to hide. We talked about this during one of my courses in gender studies in university and it fucked with my brain how many people, young people that are supposably ‘woke’ heard that for the first time. I was shocked how many were unaware of things that I consider common sense.

I have the urge to reach out, assure her that the shit those incompetent fucks commented is the furthest thing from fact. Maybe I also feel guilt, because I was aware she was bullied in school and never helped, my apathy always made me so sure that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t my issue to fix, it wasn’t my battle to fight, and this isn’t either; but I’ve also learned to understand that being quiet might not be as hurtful as actively attacking the person, but it’s damn near close enough. So, I click on her blank profile and shoot her a short message. ‘the pic looked nice. U didn’t have to delete it just cuz some ppl don’t know what style is’

It was partly to comfort her, and partly to prove to myself that I’ve become better even in the slightest. I press the lock button on my phone and the screen turns black, I put it screen down on my bed and leave the room trying to fool myself and the universe that I don’t care if she replies or not.

I return to my work desk, continuing this charade, I am actively trying to not think about it, but the more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. There is something about a 24-year-old Hinata looking the way she does, yet listening to haters, that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m still in deep thought about the issue when my laptop dings, letting me know I received an email. I half expect it to be Hinata, but it’s work-related and my focus turns to that for the time being. Work keeps me busy for the remaining of the day, enough to push the whole issue out of my mind for real. In a blink of an eye over 9 hours have passed.

I wasn’t able to fully finish everything I wanted, due to some issues but I have to call it a day, since I worked overtime quite a lot. I go back to my bedroom and pick up my phone ready to order some delivery for the night when I see that Hinata responded.

“That was very thoughtful of you, thank you for the kind message.”

“I agree that I shouldn’t let myself be brought down, but it’s devastating in the moment.”

“I’ll try again.”

Her last message makes me click back on her profile to see that she reposted the picture with the caption saying ‘fuck you’. A sense of pride flows into my body, and I can’t fight the urge to comment as well, ‘fuck them all’. I go back to our little chat.

“Im glad u decided to post it again.”

I’m trying to formulate a compliment that doesn’t sound weird, I don’t feel like we are close enough for me to call her beautiful or pretty without it sounding like I am flirting, stunning sounds extreme, sexy and hot feel somewhat disgusting; yet all these five adjectives describe her, because she is beautiful, pretty, stunning, hot and sexy. I’m in the midst of this internal battle when I receive a reply.

“I am too. Thank you again”

I don’t feel like I deserve thanks, so I decide not to write back ‘you are welcome’, but I still want to compliment her so I click back to look at the picture, seeing whether having the picture in front of me will help. I’m lowkey annoyed when I get a notification that I have a new message from her, I am hell bound on finding a compliment and she is hell bound on stopping me. Either way, I click on the message, but upon reading it, my annoyance dies.

“I’m actually in Konoha for the first time in forever. I was thinking…if you maybe want to meet up? I’m here for a month, let me know if and when is a good time for you 😊”

Under normal circumstances, an invitation to ‘hang out’ from any former classmate be it elementary, middle or high school would annoy me further and I’d turn it down immediately. But for some reason, the idea of meeting Hinata after so many years, seeing what she is up to, interacting with her now as adults, makes me oddly enthusiastic. I reply before I can overthink the issue.

“Sure, we can meet, I’m free every Wednesday and throughout the weekend.”

Her reply is almost instant. “That’s perfect! See you Saturday” Reading her message makes me forget what day it is, so I have to look at my phone’s calendar; Saturday is the day after tomorrow, in less than 48hs I will see Hinata. My feelings are conflicted, they lay somewhere between nervousness, which is new, and giddiness, which is even newer. In order to calm myself, I do what I always do, set a goal. By Saturday I’ll have an appropriate compliment for the picture and her, it will have more impact if I say it face-to-face anyway, yes that’s the reason I want to see her, so I can feel as if I completed this little mission of mine, no other reason…

#sasuhinamonth #shmonth #sasuhina month #sasuhina #sasuhinafanfic #hinata hyuuga #hyuuga #susake uchiha #uchiha #dia story #diawrites #fanfic #day2

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mochi-marie · 3 years

Note

hello and congratulations ! 💕 for the event could you do the song heat waves by glass animals with bokuto? focusing on the chorus „sometimes all i think about is you, late nights in the middle of june,,,,". for the reader! male reader if you're okay with that, if not then gender neutral is totally okay! shorter than him (not by a lot, probably like half a foot or less), and has a build more on the larger side, and has freckles, curly hair, and glasses. the reader is also introverted and gets flustered very easily. thank u ! <3

genre : ( insecurity-based ) angst to fluff ( ? )

pairing : bokuto kotaro x introverted! male reader ( bigger, curly, freckles, glasses )

author's note : okay, for some reason, i started to listen to this song on repeat for a long while just basking in the lyrics and music to get acquainted and to familiarize myself with the general vibe i got from it -- i got really inspired by reading the lyrics while listening, so thank you so much for helping me find my new favorite song!!! i hope you enjoy! this is also my first time officially writing a male-insert, so please, any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! also, i might have strayed from the main focus of the specific lyric, so i deeply apologize!! 😖💛

also, if i forgot any warnings that anyone thinks i should add, please tell me as soon as possible!!

warning : insecurity, feeling as though you are not enough, angst ( kinda? ), ooc bokuto ( in my opinion ), written at 2 A.M. + Unedited

Hands shoved into small pockets under the summer night sky, you avoided his curious gaze, opting to let your hand come up to ruffle your curly hair rather hastily. thinking -- thinking about ways to stall for just a few minutes longer, hoping to whatever power above that he would just wait and listen patiently until you finally explained why you had asked him to meet you out in the parking lot after his practice. The daylight had disappeared during the few minutes you both silently basked in each other's company, the stars just barely starting to flash and twinkle above both of your heads. Summertime was in full swing, though a soft breeze managed to drift by, tousling and playing with your bouncy locks and waving through his salt-and-pepper hair. If the bitter thoughts had not been weighing heavily on your mind, perhaps you would've giggled. Any other time you might have nudged him, gesturing for him to lean down just a smidge so you yourself could do as the wind and card through his hair with your fingers, gently separating the spikes of hair stuck together from sweat due to the hard volleyball practice. Oh, what you would give for your mind to be empty enough to carelessly be enough for and with him.

The thoughts weighed on you heavily -- the ideas implanted by society's view of perfection. The world around you would question why Bokuto would be with someone such as yourself; someone so imperfect, drowning in their insecurities. What gave you the right to bog him down with your personal issues? Did you not notice the glances peers would give, watching Bokuto buzz around you happily as you both walked along? Do you not see the way he works hard to keep himself so... perfect? That was the only word worthy of describing your Kotaro. Perfection was his middle name, it seemed; a perfectly beautiful smile that lit up a room, a bubbly personality that could only ever seem to do good for the people that relaxed in his presence. Yes, your boyfriend was effortlessly perfect. So why couldn't you be the same? Why were you who you are, why must you feel so unworthy?

Your arms had migrated to wrapping around your mid-section, eyes planted to the ground as your mind raced. You didn't see the way Bokuto's eyes glanced down to you, worry laced in his honey eyes. While Bokuto wasn't the brightest academically, that did not mean he was completely simple-minded; he was well versed in emotions, specifically your emotions. He often prided himself on saying that he knew you like he knows the very back of his hand, and it seemed that this claim was no lie. His hand gravitated toward your own, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry -- "(name)? is... is everything okay?" His voice was spoken low and soft, hoping to not startle you. "What's wrong?" His voice reached your ears, and with a quick glance from the corner of your eye, you were met with the honey-hued sight that always managed to calm your nerves better than what any remedy could.

Clearing your throat softly, your mouth opened, and yet no words would form. The words that swam dangerously in your head died the second they landed on your tongue, and you were left open-mouthed, trying to form a coherent sentence. Why was it so hard to simply talk about your insecurities? You mentally scowled, a bretah catching in your chest before you let your eyes flutter closed, trying to gather yourself quickly.

Bokuto's hand grasped onto the tips of your fingers, eyes surveying your face for any reaction. With the familiar cute pink hue slowly growing onto the apples of your cheeks, he pulled your hand closer to himself, his own fingers nervously fiddling with your own fingers. Your nervousness was starting to catch, making him anxious. What was so wrong that you could barely even form the words you wanted to say? His mind blanked, biting the inside of his cheek as he scanned your face numerous times, waiting for a sign that you were ready. He would be patient, for you.

His hand never left yours.

"Why are you still with me?"

Shaky breathing. The stilling of fiddling fingers. The confused exhale of air, paired with furrowed eyebrows that you could not see with your eyes tightly snapped shut, cheeks burning with embarrassment and eyes met with the faint, familiar hot sting. Your breath was held tightly in your throat, glasses slipping down the bridge of your nose with the way your head was tilted at a downward angle.

"What do you mean?" Was his only response, calm, though by the small waver of his voice, you knew his eyes were most likely wide. Wide and churning with golden panic that would not suit his boyish attitude. Eyes creeping open, you were met with exactly what you had predicted. Your hand slipped from his, arms resting against your stomach, trying to provide yourself the comfort a part of you was craving -- a crave for his comforting touch. His hugs of which never failed to spark butterflies to explode in your stomach, the hugs that wrapped around you fully, trapping you within his warm, strong embrace that made you feel at home; the hugs that made you feel like everything was okay again. "You'd be better off with someone more like you. You just need a better life than this..." Your voice met his ears, and with every unspoken word that finally spilled from your lips, he finally realized how much this bothered you, and now how it affected him.

His hands found your shoulders and he pulled you to his chest, one palm resting snug against your back, the other arm resting around your shoulder, cradling your face to his chest and into the strong, warm embrace that always managed to wash all your worries away.

"You're all I need." Bokuto mumbled firmly, adam's apple bobbing as he held back the severe urge to let his tears escape from the corner of his eyes where they had started to pool as the situation continued to dawn. You didn't feel enough, and that was more than enough information for him to finally understand what was going on through your handsome little head. "You're all I need, all I'll ever want, 'kay?" Voice murmured against the crown of your head as he pressed his lips to your curly hair -- so soft, locks of your beautiful curls that always tickled his face when you'd embrace in a joyful hug at every greeting, his lips, like default, softly curling upwards at the familiar feeling that calmed his nerves. "You're more than enough, just remember that. Sometimes all i think about is you... don't forget that 'm never far away," Bokuto paused, pulling away to look down at you softly, readjusting the glasses that had slipped down your nose and at an awkward angle to avoid being crushed by the force of you against his chest.

"Say it with me."

"What?" "Say you're enough, please, (name),"

"Wh-"

"So you know that you're perfect the way you are, I need to know that we leave happy. Happy and together, (name)," Bokuto smiled a wobbly smile, eyes begging you to do this one thing for him -- for the both of you.

"I am enough" is a phrase that will resonate with your soul one day. A fact that is disguised by the hardened layers of stony-resilience that makes the battle of self-love seem impossible. Yet you are one of the strongest people Bokuto knows, and he believes in your abilities, passion, and you as a whole in all of his entirety, just like you do with him. A relationship with a deep emotional connection, and with him, this deep connection felt like a home away from home. Yes, Bokuto is indeed perfection, you decide.

His hand never left yours for the rest of the night, uncharacteristically yet sweetly lifting the back of your hand up ever few minutes to press three quick kisses to the back of your hand in a show of physical love -- a reminder that your Bokuto Kotaro will always be there, no matter what.

#boo.screams.50 #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #hq #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto x male reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles

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palimpsessed · 4 years

Text

Steel Yourself

That morning in Las Vegas when Simon gets his hair cut has been in the back of my mind for over a year, and the recent Wayward Son anniversary reread and lots of talk about hair in the server, brought it front and center. So I decided I had some thoughts and I wanted to get them out.

I asked myself a lot why Simon did this one thing at this one moment. He's let his hair grow out for a long time, probably since the summer before eighth year, or at least the summer after Watford. He's even told us: "I haven't cared enough to get a haircut."

But when Simon does cut his hair, he's still in the same bad place mentally. He still doesn't see himself in a positive light. So why the change? And why this change?

For me, it all comes down to the timing. Timing is very important in terms of Simon's hair. Throughout Simon's life, you could tell the time of year by the length of his hair. At the start of every summer, he shaved his head, and the rest of the year, he grew it out. When Simon starts at Watford, his hair is still fairly short from the previous summer: "A Trojan 11-year-old with baggy jeans and a shaved head." (This is also the look sported by the Insidious Humdrum, which Simon created shortly before being "discovered" by the Mage and taken to Watford.)

Why does the length of his hair matter? Because the shorter it is, the more vulnerable Simon is. (And I don't mean like Samson losing all his strength when his hair was cut off.)

Simon spends months completely unprotected and cut off from all contact every summer. Those summer months in the care homes, exiled from the World of Mages, and the first 11 years of his life, Simon is at his most vulnerable. He doesn't have a family or access to his friends when he's in care. He can't really use or practice his magic. And he's left open to attack from pretty much any magickal or dark creature who feels like trying their luck. (See: fit goblin cabbie and suspected bonety hunter/pervert from the beginning of Carry On.) (Simon has more than one price on his head by the time he's eighteen. And the Humdrum could attack anytime. And the Mage's enemies could hunt him down to get their revenge on the Mage.)

The only person Simon is able to contact during the summers is the Mage, and I think we can all agree that makes him significantly less safe than if he was completely cut off.

Simon is most vulnerable in summer and that's when his hair is the shortest. The drastic change, the rude awakening of being thrust back into the Normal world alone at the end of each school year is perfectly signified by Simon cutting off all of his hair. (Also, undercuts: half-shaved, half-grown. Simon, composed of halves: Normal world/World of Mages; Chosen One/Insidious Humdrum; limitless wells of magic/inability to Speak; dragon/human.)

Once Simon is back at Watford, his hair grows in; the longer he's there, the longer it gets. The more months he spends back at Watford--the only true home he's ever had, surrounded by the only people who love him--the more security he has, and the less vulnerable he becomes.

Are the summer haircuts a necessity of living in a group home "with seven other discards"? Or just something Simon does on his own? It's not really made clear, but Simon does say "I shave it", which implies some degree of agency. I don't think it's uncommon to want to change one's hair (style or color) when life gets overwhelming. (2020, anyone?) It's a great and safe way to exert control over life and self when other things feel out of control. The thing about Simon is that he has never had control over his life; that's part of what makes him so vulnerable the years he spent in care, the years he was the Mage's personal boy soldier, the years he was groomed as Baz's enemy and the Chosen One born to take down the Insidious Humdrum. The length of Simon's hair seems to be the one thing he has control over.

When Simon is most vulnerable, he cuts his hair. In his case, it's an act of defiance, of agency. Cutting his hair is a way for him to be strong, to take control.

Let's move forward in time now to Wayward Son.

Even though he's left Watford and childhood and defeated "the big baddie[s]", Simon is still struggling through a life out of his control. He has wings, a tail, and no magic. He has no direction because he thinks he was born to die. He's burdened with years and years and years of trauma that he can't find a way to avoid or properly confront and he's decided to just stop trying to do either one.

Simon starts the book at his lowest point. And his hair seems to be at its longest, even though he's also at his most vulnerable. How does this tie into the point I'm trying to make?

Simon is not taking agency in his life; he's "lying on the sofa". Life is out of control again, but Simon hasn't shaved his head this time because he's given up trying to fight back.

I think subconsciously, Simon is now trying to use his longer hair as a kind of emotional armor. Short hair has been associated throughout his life with his most vulnerable state (and the Humdrum). Simon is essentially trying to build up a sort of physical barrier to the trauma that's constantly pushing in on him; trauma that he is trying his best to run from, to not face (including quitting therapy and telling his therapist that he prefers to have his brain close "off painful corridors"). Simon tells us that he hasn't "cared enough to get a haircut", but the implications seem to be much deeper than a lack of care.

We first see the hair-as-armor technique with Baz. Baz uses most aspects of his appearance as a way to craft his careful image of control. It's a skill he intentionally adopted from Malcolm. Baz practices his facial expressions and posture in the mirror to make sure that he's able to hide his emotions from the outside world. He cares about fashion, and puts on an expensive suit when he's going into a dangerous situation the way others would put on armor. Up until Simon kisses Baz in the woods, Baz's hair is kept carefully slicked back like a "gangster...or a black-and-white movie vampire". That scene in the woods is incredibly pivotal, but not just from a SnowBaz perspective. That's the moment that Baz hits his lowest point. He's convinced he's failed at finding his mother's murderer (and we all know Baz top-of-the-class Pitch doesn't handle failure well), and he's confronted, and been taunted by, the very monsters that he's been trying his whole life to deny he's one of. He doesn't care that Simon is there to witness his breakdown; he runs off into the woods and sets the fire he hopes will kill him.

That moment in the woods is one of just a few times that Baz allows himself to be vulnerable in front of Simon. And Simon is sure to comment on the state of Baz's hair when it's not neat and tidy. (Simon is very helpful.) There's the moment Baz finds out how Natasha really died ("His hair is in his eyes"), then after sharing magic out on the lawn with the dragon ("His hair falls forward"), which leads to them sharing magic on Baz's bed later that same day. These are incredibly integral steps along the way to Simon and Baz's truce and romance. Baz has to let down his guard so that Simon can see his humanity, his vulnerability, and recognize his own feelings, feelings that he's kept buried down deep because he's believed that Baz hates him and wants to kill him (and we all know what Simon does with painful thoughts). Each instance leads up to that kiss in the woods, after which Simon talks about the way Baz's "hair falls in a lazy wave over his forehead". Simon and Baz spend that night kissing and sleeping in each other's arms; they talk for the first time ever about their feelings for each other. Baz's hair is loose and wavy and not slicked back because he's let his guard down, he's let Simon in, he's let himself be vulnerable. And one of the first things Simon does when he kisses Baz is slide his hand into Baz's hair and mess it up; after kissing, this seems to be top of his list "of all the things [he's] always wanted to do to Baz".

And what does Baz do later on Christmas Eve, when he's getting ready for dinner after Simon leaves with Penny and Agatha? He slicks his hair back. It doesn't evade Simon's notice, either. (Nothing about Baz evades Simon's notice.) He "wish[es]" Baz wouldn't slick his hair back, because "it looks better when it's loose and falling around his face". Simon wants Baz to be vulnerable around him, and Baz was trying to put his armor back up when he was convinced that Simon wouldn’t come back.

Baz has more hair in Wayward Son. (I'm not even going to touch the body hair thing, so calm yourselves.) His hair is longer than it was at Watford, and he's able to grow a beard. Simon sees Baz's new, softer look as illustrative of Baz's maturity, self-assurance, and attractiveness, reasons that Baz is too good for him. ("He's coming into himself. And I'm coming apart.") But what Simon fails to recognize is that, as in Carry On, Baz's softer hair is actually illustrative of his emotional vulnerability.

Between Carry On and Wayward Son, Baz, like Simon, has grown out his hair, and he seems to prefer wearing it loose. He isn't the same boy he was in school; he has everything he ever wanted (Simon), so he can let down his guard. They're supposed to be living the happy ending neither one of them ever thought they'd get to have. He doesn't need to protect himself anymore, because he isn't living with the constant fear of being outed one way or another in a boarding school without escape. (He does still have to live with the fear of being outed as a vampire, but that concern has to be much less immediate now that he's outside of the only place that mages live together. He's under far less scrutiny in London and at university and far less likely to be discovered.)

And yet, Baz isn't happy, he isn't secure. He thinks he's going to lose Simon, that maybe he's already lost him. Baz now struggles to get his hair back under control (just like Christmas Eve), and their ill-fated road trip conspires against him at every turn. Baz's hair gets blown to hell when the convertible top breaks; Simon compares him to Mozart, then Baz compares himself to a member of a "hair metal band"; he can't use magic to tidy his hair, and even wetting it only gets him to a Bucks Fizz or Wham! equivalent; his hair gets "bushy and matted" in their fight with Jeff Arnold and his posse; Simon tells Baz not to ride in the back of Shepard’s truck because of “what the wind does to [his] hair”. (Remember the scene in the back of the truck? Yeah. Very emotional.) Baz's emotional turmoil is reflected in his diminishing physical condition throughout their trip. He finally lands on using his mother's scarf as a means of keeping his hair under control. He's trying to reclaim some of his emotional armor, because, as he tells us: "Simon Snow, it hurts to look at you when you're this happy. And it hurts to look at you when you're depressed. There's no safe time for me to see you. Nothing about you that doesn't tear my heart from my chest and leave it breakable outside my body."

Baz is in pain. He's trying to hold himself together and his hair is the perfect metaphor for this. The fact that he uses his mother's scarf to keep it under control harkens back to his method of aping Malcolm in Carry On. He turns to his parents for the means of bolstering his armor in the face of vulnerability (which we see play out much more overtly when Baz later contemplates calling Malcolm, and calling Fiona, for help with the NowNext).

(Side note about Baz's family. Want to talk about hair showing emotional vulnerability? How about Malcolm going white after Natasha died? The man is broken by his first wife's death and he never recovers emotionally, even though he's remarried and had four more children. He still can't express any emotion toward Natasha's son. Also, Fiona. With her natural white streak dead center in the front of her hair? Fiona is an absolute wreck of a human. She's volatile and self-destructive and vindictive and was also shattered by Natasha's death and before that, Nico's Turning. Both Malcolm and Fiona are permanently marked with signs of their emotional trauma with their white hair.)

I think post-Humdrum Simon has taken a page out of Baz's book, having always seen him as self-assured and completely in control in a way Simon never was. He's internalized the hair-as-armor technique as a misguided way to insulate himself from his pain, growing it out instead of cutting it off (with his "new length" being a physical representation of the barrier he's trying to make around all of the painful things in his head).

This obviously doesn't work. Simon isn't fooling anyone, not even himself.

In Carry On, Simon shaves his hair to exert control, and Baz slicks back his hair to project control. In Wayward Son, Simon uses his longer hair as a kind of shield against looking vulnerable, and Baz's longer hair reflects his vulnerability.

Wayward Son ends with Simon still in a very vulnerable state. If Simon thinks of short hair as being linked with vulnerability, and long hair like armor, then why did he decide to cut his hair in Vegas?

Because he did care enough to get a haircut; he cared enough to make himself vulnerable.

Why?

Because he's in love with Baz and he can't tell him, so he cuts his hair to show him.

Simon is being brave. He's taking a step and he's exposing himself in a way he's been too scared to do for a long time. Which is the crux of all of this: allowing himself to be vulnerable is actually a kind of strength.

The night before Simon gets his hair cut, Baz meets Lamb. Simon listens to Lamb flirt with Baz, and Baz sort of flirt back with Lamb, for hours, and can't do anything about it. When he does finally intervene, he sees them together, and he thinks Baz and Lamb are going to kiss. He thinks Baz wants someone else. He thinks Baz wants to break up with him. (He already did think so, yes, but at this point of the book, Simon has started to convince himself that they're "getting by".)

The night culminates in one of Baz's lowest points, drunk and draining birds in the hotel bath, bloodstained and forced to face the brutal reality that is his life as a vampire with three witnesses, one of whom is the love of his life. Baz doesn't ever want Simon to see him drink. He has to tell Simon more than once to leave the bathroom to try to maintain some part of his dignity and to keep Simon from continuing to watch (because Simon wants to watch).

This is Baz at his most vulnerable, and Simon is there for all of it. Again. And he wants so badly to be with Baz. But Simon is a mess and can't articulate his feelings. So he goes out and gets an expensive haircut to show Baz that he does care. He finally cares enough to get a haircut (to exercise agency over himself and his life). This is his way of trying to fight for Baz. It's completely off the mark (use your words, Simon) but it's sweet and it's well-intentioned. And it's brave.

Simon has two things in life that he's clinging to with all the power he has left in him: Baz and Penny. And that morning in Vegas, he's probably contemplating the possibility that he's going to lose Baz. (And, unless they get a break, Agatha.--Again.)

TL;DR: Simon cuts his hair, to try to get some control over his out-of-control life, to make an effort for his boyfriend, to try to bring back the part of himself from Watford who was a hero who could take on anything with his undercut ("and a belly full of magic"). It's vulnerability, but it's also strength.

Shaved or tousled, Simon Snow, I hope you get your well-deserved happy ending with Baz, and Penny, and Agatha, and Shepard. And therapy. Please, please, please therapy.

#meta #my meta #simon snow #baz pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #snowbaz #steel yourself #a heavy meta on hair #rainbow rowell #simon snow series #co/ws #awtwb #carry on #wayward #any way the wind blows

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