#legit so fucking upset about this

[thorinkingoferebor]

"I won't have peace. I'll be worried about you all the time."

"That's just love. Nothing you can do about that. I've never loved anything the way I love you and I've never fretted on anything more, but this time you can't stay and I can't go."

#text posts by thea #thea watches andor #andor spoilers #fuck man #jfc #legit so fucking upset about this #had a therapy session this morning and my therapist was like 'do something nice for yourself tonight' #so i thought i'm gonna watch the new andor episode tonight instead of saving it for Friday and this is what I get #just heartbreak #nevermind how much this resonates with me at the moment cause my mum can't come to me but I can't stay with her and :(((((((((((( #it's just so freaking sad #like everything #and normally i'd go 'hey put they're gonna win and by the end of the season things will be fine' #but they won't be #they're all going to die based on what we know from rogue one #i dunno #maarva is such a complicated character #but god damn she's triggering my child-mum relationship feelings #it's so fucking sad :(

[maegalkarven]

Thinking of Ravengard Ward AU where things proceed to the point of the events of the game with several results:

Levi, convinced by Gortash fighting off Bhaal is only possible with the Crown of Karsus and growing desperate with every day (as Bhaal pushes to control him with growing force), ventures into Mephistar to steal it from Mephistopheles.

While he is gone Ravengard goes to Elturel and, as Elturel falls to Avernus, descends there too. Duke's second son Wyll, an aspiring ranger, ventures into Hells alongside with counselor Florrick in a quest to find Ulder Ravengard. Levi returns from Mephistar to find all of his family gone. He wants to rush after them to Avernus, but Bhaal's hold on him is getting worse with everyday, and he's running out of time. He hopes his brother and Florrick know what they're doing.

With Ravengard missing and Florrick out of the city, Enver Gortash conspires to have proclaim the duke dead, making Leviathan Ravengard his heir and successor.

The Absolute Plan is set into motion, with only one god (Myrkul) involved. Levi and Gortash are forced to work with Ketheric bc the illithid colony is literally Under His House. Levi plans to betray the man and clean the shadow-cursed lands because this is what Jaheira and the harpers would have wanted. He when plans to use the newly gained with Absolute power to destroy Bhaal, Bane and Myrkul in one go. Gortash plans to obtain the power alike gods without any restrictions gods are forced under.

The first illithid-infected people start to appear. Jaheira and Minsc go to investigate, Minsc gets infected. Levi plans to use him as a leverage against Jaheira and Wyll if (then) they will disagree with his plans.

The incoming wedding of Duke Leviathan Ravengard and Lord Enver Gortash is announced. Lord Gortash is then going to be proclaimed the first Archduke of Baldur's Gate, with his husband's full support.

Wyll and Florrick meet Karlach and team up with her. Wyll is horrified to find out the guy who is dating his older brother sold Karlach to the deviless. Together they find Duke Ravengard and hijack the nautiloid.

The following (with all the in-game steps) events are:

Wyll and the team (Wyll is the leader) reach BG just in time to be informed of the passed wedding and the incoming inauguration of Lord Gortash.

They are horrified what has happened to the city in their absence. Ravengard, Wyll and Jaheira try to talk sense into Levi, Levi argues back what none of them know what it's like to have the God of Murder in their head all the time. What Bhaal was showing him more things these days, what he knows his destiny - he is a pureblood bhaalspawn, made out of Bhaal's dead flesh, he is destined to destroy the world. He is trying to convince them this is the only way he can do it, what this way he can destroy all gods for good, his Father included. What with the power the stones and Absolute gives them, he and Gortash can become new gods, can change the very rules of the universe - and wouldn't it be great?

The huge argument follows and Levi storms out, angry.

The next time they see him is at the inauguration, when, instead of proclaiming Gorash the new Archduke, Levi murders everyone but Gortash (who by this point is used to his husband's murder sprees and is successfully defended by Steel Watch) in the Hall.

Wyll and co walk into the Hall, expecting confrontation, but finding Levi in a pool of blood as Gortash tries to make him come out of the stupor.

Levi raises a desperate gaze at his brother and says: "Don't you see? It's getting worse. Bhaal is so angry. This is the only way. Why can't you see? Why no one but Enver can see it?!"

#dark urge: levi #ravengard ward au #durgetash #i love how this au in some ways is better #but in some ways is even worse #Levi is one of the Big Bad #his main motivation is getting free from Bhaal and not killing Ulder Wyll Florrick Jaheira Minsc and Gortash #everyone else can burn in hell for all he cares about #Enver Gortash is living his best life manipulating and malewifing his way into very questionable not exactly godhood #his husband growing more apeshit with everyday is unexpectedly upsetting tho #and ketheric died too early it freed brain from the part of the command #he KNEW they shouldn't have involved him at all #they could've done it just the two of them #he eventually plans to venture into mephisto's vault again but at this point he frantically researches all the way they can erase bhaal #from the existence bc fuck this levi is HIS. No gods are allowed between them #at some point levi stopped being a ladder to greatness and become important and gortash missed when this moment was #meanwhile tadpoled minsc is fighting bhaalists bc Levi ordered him to #Levi is like “you're a known enemy of Bhaal. Let's put it to good use” #he legit sent poor minsc to find a way to the temple of bhaal and find a way inside #also Orin is getting apeshit around the city too just for the sake of it and bc dad said so #Levi doesn't like it but he knows confronting his sister and killing her will make him into Abdel 2.0. #meaning either he will die in the fight or Bhaal will turn him into his meat puppet when Orin drops dead #so he'll send jaheira and co after her trail of dead bodies too #Karlach: Gortash is Evil! #Wyll and Ravengard: yeah we know. He is married to our Levi tho. #Karlach: 'your Levi' just killed everyone in this room but the only man I actually want to see dead! #Jaheira: it it's of any conciliation he doesn't look happy about it. Neither does Gortash

[cinewhore]

Me losing my anonymity to my neighbor after hitting the floor with my broomstick handle - I’ve incited a possible war.

#i was not mchaving it last night #I’m already on edge and last night flared my anxiety up really bad #legit had the shakes because i was so upset at how fucking loud they were #and all my landlord will do is ask if she’s fucking to which she responds no #and then she keeps doing it! #it’s like if i asked if she’s chewing gum #and she’ll look me in my eye and say no while blowing a bubble #and my landlord won’t do anything about it #so I’ll just take matters into my own hands #and if that mean’s embarrassing her and knocking on the floor every time i hear them so be it #the only thing my landlord can do is tell me to move lol #but I’m tired of being plowed over #i will be a bitch about this #I’m spending my fucking money to be here and i can’t just pick up and move #like i legit just moved here! #this girl will not be rewarded for her actions by me moving #i will make everyone uncomfortable #even as we speak they are going at it #why do you think I’m up at this ungodly hour?

[sharkieboi]

had a talk with my boss today that was basically “hey this recent bout of covid has put the writing on the wall for me and I can’t do the physical aspect of this job sustainably anymore, can you help me figure out something else, hopefully here at the aquarium cause I don’t want to have to move again and I like working here, or at least can you point me to the person who can help me figure that out” and fingers crossed but here’s hoping I can just land a desk job and still be able to see my birds from time to time

#shhh sharkie #I’m preemptively so upset about this but the reality is I can’t. #I can’t be on my feet all day and I can’t scrub and clean and I don’t trust myself on ladders or with a knife #I can try I know it’s early but even if I get back up to what is my new 100% I can’t do this anymore it’s not gonna work out. #and I’ll be more of a burden than an asset to the team if i’m constantly having to need help to do the basic routine #but i love this team and this aquarium and i don’t want to have to move again so soon #or change workplaces and lose the convenience of my apartment’s location to my workplace #but like truly I can get through about an hour of standing and working on my feet and then i’m exhausted and have to sit down #like I legit took a nap in the office today and boy howdy did I need it #i’m just really sad. I don’t want this to have to end. #I always (jokingly) said that i’ll do animal care until my body tells me I can’t #and my body is telling me I can’t. #fuck this shit. I finally get a decent job and a good role and have some consistency and then wham bam fuck you.

[madigoround]

✌🏻

#so for my job I have to go to a lot of crime scenes and talk with witnesses blah blah blah a lot of the time it’s in an unsafe area and I #I always try to do my job in a safe way managing the different factors like timing but I always get the work done #so much so that last week I was asked to go canvas an area I had already been to to canvas five other times for a murder and had seen drug #deals and robbery and fights and all that go on while I was there #and I brought up that it wasn’t a good time for us to be there we weren’t safe at that time and I was told I needed to suck it up and do #what was needed for the case #flash forward to a few minutes ago my supervisor came to talk to me about another case #for a murder that I had previously talked about being upset about because I had walked by the place it happened 20 minutes before the murder #and was told that it doesn’t bother anyone else and basically to suck it up #so for this case the attorney had gone to my supervisor and told him that she thinks I’m ineffective at my job and she believes I’m afraid #to go out on the scene for investigative work because I’m a white girl #and my supervisor came to tell me that he’s going to be working with me on my cases for the time being to go out into the field and locate #witnesses and so on to show her that it doesn’t bother me and I’m not afraid #which like honestly all around this is fucking ridiculous I have done this job for nearly two years I have gone to the #site of multiple murders I have gone to witnesses addresses #I have been inside victims homes to talk with them all of this all alone #and honestly that attorney is a fucking bitch who has humiliated me for having feelings about cases before so it’s infuriating but hardly #surprising but the fact that my supervisor thought this was a legit enough concern to now go with me on my cases and go through all the #steps I’ve done and everything I just feel so disrespected and not valued #last week I took last minute leave because the cases were bothering me too much and everyone was telling me I needed to get over it and it #doesn’t bother them which like sorry but I feel like having to see someone’s brains on the pavement is upsetting #and it feels like I’m being edged out because I have human feelings about our cases #even though I have done this work and done it well for two years #I’m just really sad and angry about it

[our-inspire-verse]

I love being plural. Oh, how i love being plural!

I love it, and all it's struggles. It is not to say to be plural does not hurt. That it cannot be torture or agony. Like it isnt sometimes the most woeful, painful part of my life sometimes.

When is anything permanent, at any point? The trauma slowed down. It will never fully stop, as life itself is designed to tear a soul apart, i do fully believe it cannot end. However, i will dance with glee at the opportunity to feel pain. To live, and to feel and to breathe. My gratitude has saved me.

I now thank my system for being my soul, for being as alive as it is and for continuing to fluctuate. I thank it for its confusing complexity and the secrets it keeps. Thank you for being as loving and daring and sometimes cruel as you are. For your differences and relations and your stories and lives. You make me Me and complete Micheal.

I love my system, my system was with me and helped me survive life. And now we are out to share one we're building together.

#system babbles #osdd #actually osdd #hopepunk #lovepunk #system positivity #system love #plural love #im all about happy plurality like legit these guys are my family and i wouldnt be here anywhere without em #mitten is my. fucking forever beloved we have formed our religious beliefs around her out of pure love and history #kiba is our rock. he is us and he loves to be us. #zim is a wonderful host and great at piloting. #so many others bring about this wonderful chemistry and we all have team meetings regularly #and communicate constantly and clearly as much as we can and we all have the same goal #our goal is to work together. thats it. not everything will be done but we will always do anything we can #EVERYONE has full automomy. everyone. period. simple rules of no destruction #nothing should be changed that would upset more than 60% of the system #do not ruin anything that we love. consider our actions. be fucking kind #lead with love. #anyway im feeling big feeligns tonight

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

At this rate I'm not gonna be able to unmute Gaiden spoilers before adding Infinite Wealth spoilers am I

#smol speaks #I'm gonna be waiting ages before I can click spoiler tags on Discord cgfvbhjnghbjnk #but like i AM kinda sad cause it's like the brainrot is fading? but it's not? the problem is it hyperfocused itself onto a character who wa #there for 2 games. yes i can say 'he's alive to me' as much as i like but it's funny coping denial. i am still legit upset by this fact lol #AGAIN ik it's dumb but he means a lot to me and i love him and it does make me sad when people go 'HES DEAD LMAO' and like. that's the joke #in and of itself yknow? like im somehow dumb for wishing a character received better? but that's a different post entirely #POINT IS im already bored with 6. im bored of Kiryu. i want to see Ichiban but we dont play JRPGs so that may take a while as well. and THE #we play Gaiden. oh fuck when are we gonna play Ishin??? damn there's a lot to play #anyway all this to say Nishiki is still my gf but something about the games and fandom are slowly losing me but not just the regular #'hyperfixation is dying down' way cause i still have a lot to say i just. am i having less fun? maybe? a little bit?

[myrfing]

also the worst horror “what if things were fucked up” thing is when some alien thing is STATED to “not understand human morality” but in practice communicates and exercises and responds to everything exactly like a human would. Like omg this crazaayy alien thing will disembowel and turn someone into a sex slave and be totally innocent about it how mind bendinggg. But then this same creature will cry and mourn if you take their buddy away or also sustain some sort of extremely anthropomorphic mental trauma from being assaulted and it’s like wtf why would this alien think social seperation and sexual violence is bad and wrong in this particular way all of a sudden when it’s such a shilled point that she doesn’t see anything bad about it. i mean I guess it could be some meta commentary on perception and lack of empathy unless it happens to themselves but it never reads as that intelligent it always feels like someone trying to cram in as many edgy contrast tropes in as possible and eat it too. Sorry I was a hater when I was 12 and I’m a hater about it now

#maybe im being unfair it has been legit over a decade. But i remember my hate ❤️ #of course unreliable narrator also and his perception of saya from the get is manipulated to make him uh. want to fuck her i guess #didnt play all routes so i could just be dead wrong about it all #but also theres one scene where the alien thing gets upset that another girl has bigger tits. So. unless thats supposed to be LMFAO

[ifitsbritishimprobablyafan]

I am legitimately LIVID with my apartment complex right now because they are trying to charge me (again) for a trash violation when I have gone out of my way to follow their rules since the last violation last month

They’re like “we found this trash with your mail in it in the wrong place yesterday so we’re charging you $100″ but I haven’t even thrown out any trash since the weekend and I’ve been following their rules exactly so I don’t know HOW they found that shit 

#like I've been fighting with them over email and I'm going into the office today on my lunch break #but I'm legit about to cry I'm so fucking upset with them #this apartment complex has been AWFUL since before I even moved in with their shitty admin

[oflgtfol]

my new job not only pays more per hour but is also just so much more low stress than michaels its crazy like im actually kinda dreading working 7 hours at mike today because its like. Gah

#brot posts #so much less physically demanding #and theres still a customer service aspect but its not nearly as crazy as michaels customer service #very straight forward and very little opportunity to have an upset customer #no fucking STUPID REWARDS and CREDIT CARDS that you have to push and get penalized for not having good enough signups/applications #and we’re not fucking understaffed #and the supervisor is way less stressful because theres no like actual managers #we kinda just manage ourselves #any sort of ‘i need help’ situation you just ask one of the people who’ve been there longer #idk. idk. just enjoying it a lot. such a great atmosphere #and like theres just so much fucking drama at michaels legit to the point of involving a lawyer its just off the walls #ive only been barely involved in a little bit of drama and the vast majority of it has just been other people telling me about it #but its still like christ things are crazy like its draining having everyone be frustrated and complaining all the time #complaining for good reason yknow but its still like this is so negative. this is such a negative atmosphere #if you’re unhappy and everyone else is unhappy then it just kinda gets to you yknow #but at my new job everyone loves working here theyre so glad to hear that im enjoying it

[despite-everything]

sorry but also?? 3.11 was SO fucking good and then this? it's so strange. at the end of 3.11 i knew ted was going back to kansas - but i thought that the show which is so big on hope and belief that i never thought the show would reinforce this terrible idea ted seems to have: that's he's just a coach. someone who, no matter how much they impact the narrative, inevitably end up on the sidelines while everyone else moves along. that's just so fucked up. cutting ted off from this community he has built is cruel. it just goes against the entire thesis of the show

#like i understand ted going back #and i think there could have been several different ways that couldve been handled #that i could've appreciated from a narrative standpoint #but this just felt mean - why would you choose to hurt this man like that? like why #im pretty upset about a lot of things tbh #the way jamie and roy regressed was fucked up #and i can NOT get over the beard/jane thing #i kinda assumed the show was going to continue to brush off the abuse but that??? off the charts #and jamie and his dad? that's not a happy ending for jamie - its for his dad which is so weird #and the FUCKING TITLE OF THE BOOK CHANGING?? im so upset #i'll have more cohesive thoughts later im legit traveling for my dads wedding tomorrow rn #but i just had to say something #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #tree talks

[demonsfate]

the thing about pacifistic characters is that they don't see the good in people - they see the POTENTIAL in people. they see their potential to be good. that's why they don't kill - because they believe these people can grow, and possibly become better. however, most (good) pacifistic characters are still willing to give a bad guy a well deserving beat down. and truth is? most of the audience enjoys watching the bad guy get their comeuppance. like it's always VERY satisfying to watch the bad guy get beaten around a little. why? because the bad guy has hurt somebody, or even many people. the good guy giving them a beat down is giving them a small taste of their own medicine. but what separates the good guy from the bad guy is that he doesn't kill the bad guy. most of us want the satisfaction of the bad guy losing. ESPECIALLY if the bad guy is an abuser of any kind.

that's why i hate this scene. even if they likely didn't intend it to be, it feels like it's chastising the audience for finding enjoyment of watching bad people get hurt in any way.

as i said in the previous post, this scene comes off as... preachy and pretentious. i'm sorry! but you can ABSOLUTELY take pleasure in the suffering of others - ESPECIALLY your abuser. there is NOTHING WRONG with smiling that your bully / abuser / whatever was "defeated" and will likely not mistreat you again. there's nothing wrong with being happy that your abuser was hurt. and AGAIN! i wouldn't have mind if this was just jun's opinion alone, and it gets challenged by other characters (no, heihachi doesn't count) but the WHOLE SHOW treats it as if this is the ABSOLUTE RIGHT THING and something you shouldn't debate. the whole show being filled with this just comes off as annoying, and removes any satisfaction you, the viewer, would've gotten from watching the fights.

#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc) #// and then they get more upset at jin (dj) nearly killing heihachi #// (who btw just killed him! literally shot him in the face!) #// then they are about 'holy fucking shit it's a monster - can this even be CONSIDERED jin anymore??? is our friend just DEAD???' #// AS YOU CAN SEE... I UH HAVE STRONG OPINIONS ON THIS SHOW #// AND THIS EVEN ALL MY OPINIONS #// LIKE I'M JUST SO CRITICAL OF IT... and it's why i'm surprised by how many fans legit enjoyed it #iiroes

[crybaby-bkg]

personal rant below

I’m so glad I have a gyno appointment next month bc I genuinely cannot deal with just raw dogging this PMDD shit every month. it’s so overwhelming and frustrating bc I cant even log onto here without getting irritated and angry and frustrated with every little thing I see if it doesn’t necessarily align with something I like/agree with. and it’s like, dude, not everyone will agree with what I say or think the way I think and logically I KNOW that, but my anxiety is just telling me that it’s all so bad and completely irredeemable and. it’s just so frustrating. I’ve always lowkey wanted to be medicated but I’ve never been able to being in a black family that is only just now starting to come around to the thought of therapy. I’m just so tired of feeling like this and getting so emotional and worked up at every fucking thing in my life.

I legit almost CRIED earlier bc I couldn’t find my fucking graham crackers; can you imagine me talking to someone i love n care about with a different opinion that truly affects our core values????? I lose my shit every time I’m PMSing and I just hate it. I’m so tired of it. I wish I didn’t get as involved or as emotionally invested in every little thing and could just brush things off my shoulders but noooo PMDD has to make me lose my shit and go on a rampage and cry at every little thing. this is so exhausting.

and then my therapist is so goddamn shitty!!!!!! we’re supposed to have regular appointments and he just started cancelling them and only schedules me when I reach out to him for days at a time begging for a fucking response back. I’m just so exhausted and I don’t even start my cycle for another two weeks. I hate having to deal with this for so long man.

#I was tearing up writing this bc it just kinda started spilling out #but American dad is on and this guy was talking about how empowered women should feel whil stripping #and then paused before immediately yelling #‘TAKE IT ALL OFF BITCH!!’ and it legit just brung tears to my eyes omg #okay but no seriously #this is just so draining to have to constantly feel and go through this #PMDD is so fucking awful I’m about to cry again LOL #I hate this shit so bad #I think I’m gonna have to log off for a few days #especially if I see something that really upsets me and I just act crazy over it lmao #good news tho #I’ve set up an Etsy shop and have been working on my creative projects a lot #so I feel good about that #but it’s something about after 9pm that makes me feel like this lol #goodnight guys #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[scattered-winter]

hoo boy today was a Bad Day huh :]

#im so fucking tired #apparently i cant fucking be a good sibling to my brother like. at all #because apparently he thinks i HATE him?!?!?!? im just. really really upset about that rn #because my siblings are the only people on this planet who i KNOW i would jump in front of a bullet for #i fucking. i cant even form words on how much i love them #and the thought that one of them thinks i hate him genuinely distresses me so much ive been crying for the past half hour #hhh and now i feel like im just being Dramatic #i want to stop feeling emotions <3<3 #i need to talk to my brother and work this out but like. #talking about emotions is something my family Doesn't Do. we never have and never will #there's a reason why i relate to the batfam btw. like. a legitimate reason. #but yeah i need to figure out how to Not lock everything im feeling down and have a chat w my brother #and somehow put into words that he (and my other siblings) are the only people i love more than anything else #like. i love my friends and mutuals ofc #but for my siblings it's...Different #i love them with everything in my fucking soul #and i cant SAY that because i dont know HOW when nobody in my family has ever talked abt emotions to each other #my dad told me he was proud of me today and i legit almost started crying #thats the first time i can remember where he's said that #my family is just like the batfam fr [derogatory] #anywayyyyyyyy #gonna cry myself to sleep and then completely shut down everything emotion-based in the morning like always ✨✨✨ #winter speaks

[kiran]

🙇🏻.

#why did I get more embarrassed about being gay and trans in college #this is a vent so like 🧍🏻 #I think it’s bc I was outed by my gay friends like. at least once a week. that now people knowing makes me so stressed out it’s unreal #also that I didn’t pass for my first semester that now that I can pass it stresses me to have people know #in hs I was super out. Like I came out on Instagram and my whole friend group was super out and everyone knew #but now people knowing makes me so stressed and like I did something embarrassing #and my college friends say shit all the time about being gay in public and I’m always looking around to make sure no one can hear them bc #the thought of strangers knowing I’m gay legit makes me so fucking upset. why did it just start now #obviously I love being gay and love my gay friends but I feel so weird about it in college Idk why it’s more so now #I had ‘pride’ in hs why am I so ashamed now #I’m trying to be better abt it during pride month but I don’t think I’ll be brave enough to post anything on my main insta #this is all abt like insta and irl all the way obviously I’m very homo on tumblr lmao

[devinisagirlsname]

Being sad about someone dying doesn’t mean you “fell for a parasocial relationship”

It means I’m fucking sad that a young man had his life cut short by a terrible disease. It means that I watched Technoblade spend his last year making people laugh without burdening us with how serious his situation was, because that’s not what he wanted us to think about while we all enjoyed the block game.

Can we please just have empathy for each other for one goddamn day and not literally make fun of people for being sad?

#every day I remember why I hate twitter #I legit cried seeing Techno’s dad in the video #I’m still pretty upset because Tecnho was so young #and one of the first fucking things I see is a thread #making fun of mcy/t fans and even one talking about him deserving it??? #CANCER MATE ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL #the amount of empathy in the world is in the damn ground