#knowing ppl on the internet like my art makes me so emotional

[vvenuspng]

my inbox is full of ppl thirsting over stolas n i’m frantically trying to doodle enough of him for each ask to emphasise my appreciation of each n every one of y’all so if ur wondering why i haven’t answered ur ask that is why <3 but just know i am kissing each and every one of u ily ily ilysm mwah mwah mwah <33 here is a shitty sketch as a thank u

#and by full i mean like. more than one person. LMAO feel free to keep sending asks i love them so much #some of them r so funny i’m genuinely going to plaster them on my walls like seriously i have a shitty printer and i will USE IT ‼️ #unfortunately i have disorders but i will eventually be able to draw !!!! i promise <3 #it makes me so happy tho that y’all like my art kicking my feet giggling twirling my hair making out w yall <3 #knowing ppl on the internet like my art makes me so emotional #xx venus #i’ll also get to those requests from.. january.. eventually. lol. i promise <3 i’m just not good w sequencial shit

[soracities]

Hey! It has been on my mind lately and i just wanna ask..idk if it would make sense but i just noticed that nowadays ppl cant separate the authors and their books (ex. when author wrote a story about cheating and ppl starts bashing the author for romanticizing cheating and even to a point of cancelling the author for not setting a good/healthy example of a relationship) any thoughts about it?

I have many, many thoughts on this, so this may get a little unwieldy but I'll try to corall it together as best I can.

But honestly, I think sometimes being unable to separate the author from the work (which is interesting to me to see because some people are definitely not "separating" anything even though they think they are; they just erase the author entirely as an active agent, isolate the work, and call it "objectivity") has a lot to do with some people being unable to separate the things they read from themselves.

I'm absolutely not saying it's right, but it's an impulse I do understand. If you read a book and love it, if it transforms your life, or defines a particular period of your life, and then you find out that the author has said or done something awful--where does that leave you? Someone awful made something beautiful, something you loved: and now that this point of communion exists between you and someone whose views you'd never agree with, what does that mean for who you are? That this came from the mind of a person capable of something awful and spoke to your mind--does that mean you're like them? Could be like them?

Those are very uncomfortable questions and I think if you have a tendency to look at art or literature this way, you will inevitable fall into the mindset where only "Good" stories can be accepted because there's no distinction between where the story ends and you begin. As I said, I can see where it comes from but I also find it profoundly troubling because i think one of the worst things you can do to literature is approach it with the expectation of moral validation--this idea that everything you consume, everything you like and engage with is some fundamental insight into your very character as opposed to just a means of looking at or questioning something for its own sake is not just narrow-minded but dangerous.

Art isn't obliged to be anything--not moral, not even beautiful. And while I expend very little (and I mean very little) energy engaging with or even looking at internet / twitter discourse for obvious reasons, I do find it interesting that people (online anyway) will make the entire axis of their critique on something hinge on the fact that its bad representation or justifying / romanticizing something less than ideal, proceeding to treat art as some sort of conduit for moral guidance when it absolutely isn't. And they will also hold that this critique comes from a necessarily good and just place (positive representation, and I don't know, maybe in their minds it does) while at the same time setting themselves apart from radical conservatives who do the exact same thing, only they're doing it from the other side.

To make it abundantly clear, I'm absolutely not saying you should tolerate bigots decrying that books about the Holocaust, race, homophobia, or lgbt experiences should be banned--what I am saying, is that people who protest that a book like Maus or Persepolis is going to "corrupt children", and people who think a book exploring the emotional landscape of a deeply flawed character, who just happens to be from a traditionally marginalised group or is written by someone who is, is bad representation and therefore damaging to that community as a whole are arguments that stem from the exact same place: it's a fundamental inability, or outright refusal, to accept the interiority and alterity of other people, and the inherent validity of the experiences that follow. It's the same maniacal, consumptive, belief that there can be one view and one view only: the correct view, which is your view--your thoughts, your feelings.

There is also dangerous element of control in this. Someone with racist views does not want their child to hear anti-racist views because as far as they are concerned, this child is not a being with agency, but a direct extension of them and their legacy. That this child may disagree is a profound rupture and a threat to the cohesion of this person's entire worldview. Nothing exists in and of and for itself here: rather the multiplicity of the world and people's experiences within it are reduced to shadowy agents that are either for us or against us. It's not about protecting children's "innocence" ("think of the children", in these contexts, often just means "think of the status quo"), as much as it is about protecting yourself and the threat to your perceived place in the world.

And in all honestt I think the same holds true for the other side--if you cannot trust yourself to engage with works of art that come from a different standpoint to yours, or whose subject matter you dislike, without believing the mere fact of these works' existence will threaten something within you or society in general (which is hysterical because believe me, society is NOT that flimsy), then that is not an issue with the work itself--it's a personal issue and you need to ask yourself if it would actually be so unthinkable if your belief about something isn't as solid as you think it is, and, crucially, why you have such little faith in your own critical capacity that the only response these works ilicit from you is that no one should be able to engage with them. That's not awareness to me--it's veering very close to sticking your head in the sand, while insisting you actually aren't.

Arbitrarily adding a moral element to something that does not exist as an agent of moral rectitude but rather as an exploration of deeply human impulses, and doing so simply to justify your stance or your discomfort is not only a profoundly inadequate, but also a deeply insidious, way of papering over your insecurities and your own ignorance (i mean this in the literal sense of the word), of creating a false and dishonest certainty where certainty does not exist and then presenting this as a fact that cannot and should not be challenged and those who do are somehow perverse or should have their characters called into question for it. It's reductive and infantilising in so many ways and it also actively absolves you of any responsibility as a reader--it absolves you of taking responsibility for your own interpretation of the work in question, it absolves you of responsibility for your own feelings (and, potentially, your own biases or preconceptions), it absolves you of actual, proper, thought and engagement by laying the blame entirely on a rogue piece of literature (as if prose is something sentient) instead of acknowledging that any instance of reading is a two-way street: instead of asking why do I feel this way? what has this text rubbed up against? the assumption is that the book has imposed these feelings on you, rather than potentially illuminated what was already there.

Which brings me to something else which is that it is also, and I think this is equally dangerous, lending books and stories a mythical, almost supernatural, power that they absolutely do not have. Is story-telling one of the most human, most enduring, most important and life-altering traditions we have? Yes. But a story is also just a story. And to convince yourself that books have a dangerous transformative power above and beyond what they are actually capable of is, again, to completely erase people's agency as readers, writers' agency as writers and makers (the same as any other craft), and subsequently your own. And erasing agency is the very point of censors banning books en masse. It's not an act of stupidity or blind ignorance, but a conscious awareness of the fact that people will disagree with you, and for whatever reason you've decided that you are not going to let them.

Writers and poets are not separate entities to the rest of us: they aren't shamans or prophets, gifted and chosen beings who have some inner, profound, knowledge the rest of us aren't privy to (and should therefore know better or be better in some regard) because moral absolutism just does not exist. Every writer, no matter how affecting their work may be, is still Just Some Guy Who Made a Thing. Writing can be an incredibly intimate act, but it can also just be writing, in the same way that plumbing is plumbing and weeding is just weeding and not necessarily some transcendant cosmic endeavour in and of itself. Authors are no different, when you get down to it, from bakers or electricians; Nobel laureates are just as capable of coming out with distasteful comments about women as your annoying cousin is and the fact that they wrote a genre-defying work does not change that, or vice-versa. We imbue books with so much power and as conduits of the very best and most human traits we can imagine and hope for, but they aren't representations of the best of humanity--they're simply expressions of humanity, which includes the things we don't like.

There are some authors I love who have said and done things I completely disagree with or whose views I find abhorrent--but I'm not expecting that, just because they created something that changed my world, they are above and beyond the ordinarly, the petty, the spiteful, or cruel. That's not condoning what they have said and done in the least: but I trust myself to be able to read these works with awareness and attention, to pick out and examine and attempt to understand the things that I find questionable, to hold on to what has moved me, and to disregard what I just don't vibe with or disagree with. There are writers I've chosen not to engage with, for my own personal reasons: but I'm not going to enforce this onto someone else because I can see what others would love in them, even if what I love is not strong enough to make up for what I can't. Terrance Hayes put perfectly in my view, when he talks about this and being capable of "love without forgiveness". Writing is a profoundly human heritage and those who engage with it aren't separate from that heritage as human because they live in, and are made by, the exact same world as anyone else.

The measure of good writing for me has hardly anything to do with whatever "virtue" it's perceived to have and everything to do with sincerity. As far as I'm concerned, "positive representation" is not about 100% likeable characters who never do anything problematic or who are easily understood. Positive representation is about being afforded the full scope of human feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and not having your humanity, your dignity, your right to exist in the world questioned because all of these can only be seen through the filter of race, or gender, religion, or ethicity and interpreted according to our (profoundly warped) perceptions of those categories and what they should or shouldn't represent. True recognition of someone's humanity does not lie in finding only what is held in common between you (and is therefore "acceptable", with whatever you put into that category), but in accepting everything that is radically different about them and not letting this colour the consideration you give.

Also, and it may sound harsh, but I think people forget that fictional characters are fictional. If I find a particularly fucked up relationship dynamic compelling (as I often do), or if I decide to write and explore that dynamic, that's not me saying two people who threaten to kill each other and constantly hurt each other is my ideal of romance and that this is exactly how I want to be treated: it's me trying to find out what is really happening below the surface when two people behave like this. It's me exploring something that would be traumatizing and deeply damaging in real life, in a safe and fictional setting so I can gain some kind of understanding about our darker and more destructive impulses without being literally destroyed by them, as would happen if all of this were real. But it isn't real. And this isn't a radical or complex thing to comprehend, but it becomes incomprehensible if your sole understanding of literature is that it exists to validate you or entertain you or cater to you, and if all of your interpretations of other people's intentions are laced with a persistent sense of bad faith. Just because you have not forged any identity outside of this fictional narrative doesn't mean it's the same for others.

Ursula K. le Guin made an extremely salient point about children and stories in that children know the stories you tell them--dragons, witches, ghouls, whatever--are not real, but they are true. And that sums it all up. There's a reason children learning to lie is an incredibly important developmental milestone, because it shows that they have achieved an incredibly complex, but vitally important, ability to hold two contradictory statements in their minds and still know which is true and which isn't. If you cannot delve into a work, on the terms it sets, as a fictional piece of literature, recognize its good points and note its bad points, assess what can have a real world impact or reflects a real world impact and what is just creative license, how do you possible expect to recognize when authority and propaganda lies to you? Because one thing propaganda has always utilised is a simplistic, black and white depiction of The Good (Us) and The Bad (Them). This moralistic stance regarding fiction does not make you more progressive or considerate; it simply makes it easier to manipulate your ideas and your feelings about those ideas because your assessments are entirely emotional and surface level and are fuelled by a refusal to engage with something beyond the knee-jerk reaction it causes you to have.

Books are profoundly, and I do mean profoundly, important to me-- and so much of who I am and the way I see things is probably down to the fact that stories have preoccupied me wherever I go. But I also don't see them as vital building blocks for some core facet or a pronouncement of Who I Am. They're not badges of honour or a cover letter I put out into the world for other people to judge and assess me by, and approve of me (and by extension, the things I say or feel). They're vehicles through which I explore and experience whatever it is that I'm most caught by: not a prophylactic, not a mode of virtue signalling, and certainly not a means of signalling a moral stance.

I think at the end of the day so much of this tendency to view books as an extension of yourself (and therefore of an author) is down to the whole notion of "art as a mirror", and I always come back to Fran Lebowitz saying that it "isn't a mirror, it's a door". And while I do think it's important to have that mirror (especially if you're part of a community that never sees itself represented, or represented poorly and offensively) I think some people have moved into the mindset of thinking that, in order for art to be good, it needs to be a mirror, it needs to cater to them and their experiences precisely--either that or that it can only exist as a mirror full stop, a reflection of and for the reader and the writer (which is just incredibly reductive and dismissive of both)--and if art can only exist as a mirror then anything negative that is reflected back at you must be a condemnation, not a call for exploration or an attempt at understanding.

As I said, a mirror is important but to insist on it above all else isn't always a positive thing: there are books I related to deeply because they allowed me to feel so seen (some by authors who looked nothing like me), but I have no interest in surrounding myself with those books all the time either--I know what goes on in my head which is precisely why I don't always want to live there. Being validated by a character who's "just like me" is amazing but I also want--I also need-- to know that lives and minds and events exist outside of the echo-chamber of my own mind. The mirror is comforting, yes, but if you spend too long with it, it also becomes isolating: you need doors because they lead you to ideas and views and characters you could never come up with on your own. A world made up of various Mes reflected back to me is not a world I want to be immersed in because it's a world with very little texture or discovery or room for growth and change. Your sense of self and your sense of other people cannot grow here; it just becomes mangled.

Art has always been about dialogue, always about a me and a you, a speaker and a listener, even when it is happening in the most internal of spaces: to insist that art only ever tells you what you want to hear, that it should only reflect what you know and accept is to undermine the very core of what it seeks to do in the first place, which is establish connection. Art is a lifeline, I'm not saying it isn't. But it's also not an instruction manual for how to behave in the world--it's an exploration of what being in the world looks like at all, and this is different for everyone. And you are treading into some very, very dangerous waters the moment you insist it must be otherwise.

Whatever it means to be in the world, it is anything but straightforward. In this world people cheat, people kill, they manipulate, they lie, they torture and steal--why? Sometimes we know why, but more often we don't--but we take all these questions and write (or read) our way through them hoping that, if we don't find an answer, we can at least find our way to a place where not knowing isn't as unbearable anymore (and sometimes it's not even about that; it's just about telling a story and wanting to make people laugh). It's an endless heritage of seeking with countless variations on the same statements which say over and over again I don't know what to make of this story, even as I tell it to you. So why am I telling it? Do I want to change it? Can I change it? Yes. No. Maybe. I have no certainty in any of this except that I can say it. All I can do is say it.

Writing, and art in general, are one of the very, very, few ways we can try and make sense of the apparently arbitrary chaos and absurdity of our lives--it's one of the only ways left to us by which we can impose some sense of structure or meaning, even if those things exists in the midst of forces that will constantly overwhelm those structures, and us. I write a poem to try and make sense of something (grief, love, a question about octopuses) or to just set down that I've experienced something (grief, love, an answer about octpuses). You write a poem to make sense of, resolve, register, or celebrate something else. They don't have to align. They don't have to agree. We don't even need to like each other much. But in both of these instances something is being said, some fragment of the world as its been perceived or experienced is being shared. They're separate truths that can exist at the same time. Acknowledging this is the only means we have of momentarily bridging the gaps that will always exist between ourselves and others, and it requires a profound amount of grace, consideration and forbearance. Otherwise, why are we bothering at all?

#this is so much longer than i intended but yeah. those are my very long 2 cents #tbh i also think social media makes it worse in a way especially bc “transparency” has become a form of public vetting which is insane to m #me* transparency and honesty are not the same thing ans its ludicrous that this is where we're at and while we all have to live with this #demand for transparency i do think it affects writers differently bc the whole art as mirror thing comes to the fore in this argument #why would you sit with your feelings about a book when its easier and more accessible for you to @ the authors twitter handle #but anyway #ask #anonymous #book talks

[celestie0]

🪷 girl fuck these people I'm really sorry you're getting so many messages bitching about no smut in ch10. Like who even cares? Does a story or chapter have no value if the characters aren't going at it like rabbits and fucking and sucking on each other?

At this point if you're so disappointed about no hanky panky just go read one of those pornhwas where the characters start screwing at the drop of a hat.

I would've loved that chapter with smut or without smut idgaf it doesn't even matter to me (and the same is for most of your readers too, I'm sure of it). We've all stuck around with your work for so long, and we have faith in your direction as well as your decisions regarding the pace of the plot. It's never that serious, especially not to the stage that bozos feel the need to weep in a writer's asks and swamp them with negative messages. Go jack off or play dj with your hello kitty and go to sleep like the rest of us.

Again, no matter what you do with your work it's entirely your choice. Ofc we as readers can have our own takes and how or why we interact with the work can vary, but it shouldn't reach this stage. I've seen this same story of bullying and pestering authors on tumblr too many times with other authors whose work I enjoy, and many have left their blogs because the harassment made them lose interest in writing and sharing their pieces. It's fucking heartbreaking. Pornhub dot com is right there for y'all to be doing entirely too much in the asks of these writers who are already overwhelmed and write and share all this FOR FREE. If you have so many qualms about it pick up that bic and get to writing bitch!

I'm sorry babe take care! We love you🫂

AHHH LILYPAD ANON I APPRECIATE U SM THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME 😭😭 you’re always so kind to me i sobs

yeahh sigh :( i was just a bit upset that ppl were already finding fault w a chapter i haven’t even released yet just bc it doesn’t have smut in it 😭😭 like i obviously know by now that i can’t make everyone happy, but it’s not right to subtly pressure me into a certain direction for my story (ik this is a normal thing authors/writers have to deal with, i am just a weakling unfortunately 💀💀 my therapist wld agree)

i know it’s not most of my readers though :”) everyone is so sweet n kind n patient, i just don’t understand the some few that think that just bc they tell me they’re disappointed there’s no smut, that i’m somehow gonna go back to my 80pg dissertation of a chapter n make it 100pgs just to add some for them 😅…like no. what it DOES make me feel is icky n sad

frankly it’s really uncomfortable to make an author feel bad that there’s no explicit sexual content in a story 😅 your horny brainrot is showing. like, i AM def planning to write smut in kickoff, there will be multiple smut scenes to come. but even if i suddenly chose not to include them anymore, that’s my right to do so.

and yes, if they want smut, they can write it themselves. why do i need to be the one to write it for you? i don’t owe anyone anything.

i totally agree w you. honestly, i feel bad sometimes setting these boundaries, but you’re SO RIGHT in that SO many authors leave their platforms bc of hateful asks/pressuring comments etc, i’ve seen it time n time again. bc it’s true that it DOES get to people, especially when creating art is already a very stressful thing. i don’t have to passively tolerate rude strangers on the internet just because i’m trying to protect n pursue my passion

thanks sm for trusting my direction :”) and YES absolutely!! i love it when my readers disagree w character actions or emotions, bc characters have flaws n i’m intentional about those flaws, so it’s exciting to see opinions my readers have, even if they’re in disagreement, because it’s interactive w my work. not that i expect anyone to interact ever. i understand that i post on my own accord, so readers can choose whether to interact on their accord as well.

but something about pressuring me into writing explicit sexual content into a story that i’d like to think is a lot more than just smut, is really disheartening.

- ellie 🐸

#sorry babe i kinda went on a rant here but i just am at my wit’s end #love u n tysm for supporting me as always 🥺💕 #🪷 anon #asks #kickoff

[gothmikasagf]

Hi! I’ve been following this blog for a bit and I love that you are having a HH phase, bc same. Can I get a matchup for the event?

★Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

★Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too

★Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

★❤️&💔: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and I unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that

★My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think ppl that are bigger than me maybe? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships, I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

I love that for us anon^^

I match you with...

Husk!

Man is definitely a hater too. I can definitely see both of you just talking shit about whoever you don't like.

Doesn't mind your flirtations but don't really expect him to reciprocate unless he's out to fluster you.

Silently supportive of your hobbies and your band. He likes that you're a perfectionist but won't let you overwork yourself to the point you forget to take care of yourself.

Demonstrates he cares for you through little things, he won't make a big fuss about it.

Watches whatever movie you like and is there to listen to you if you want to talk about it.

He's pretty chill with anything so you wouldn't have to worry about being judged.

I feel like you would definitely understand each other, he has toned down a lot since his overlord days.

Likes having you sitting at the bar and just be in your presence. If you shit-talk Alastor in front of him he's yours forever.

Hope you enjoyed it and I didn't mess anything up (feel free to reach out if so).

#matchups #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #husk x reader #hazbin husk x reader

[bright-and-burning]

okay yeah i didn't know that there's the different ai stuff and that this is generative ai BUT GOD AM I HAPPY to see that you know the difference between ai and ml like !!! this is not ai !!! it's such a trend now and it's so wrong and so frustrating beyond the, in this case, misogynistic aspects of it. like this is not ai !! but that sounds catchy and URGH so frustrating. okay that's all i love ur additional tags thank u xoxo

yeah!! i did my undergrad degree focused on this kind of stuff (and dropped out of doing a phd in it at the last minute) so it's Literally my roman empire. like. i took so many courses in this and THEN it blew up right at the end of my degree and the misinformation........ chatgpt getting massive my senior year of college made me soooo mad i legit started to resent my field. like this particular use is particularly egregious (why hire a woman in an area severely lacking in women when we can rampantly misuse important computational and REAL LIFE resources to create a fake woman to "talk" abt SUSTAINABILITY!!!) but in general i am like constantly infuriated by AI bullshit from a lot of different sides bc Everyone overestimates/glorifies it/turns it into something it isn't, essentially. (rant abt AI from an AI perspective under the cut that idk might be informative or interesting LOL. i tried not to get technical but i did get mad)

generative ai drives me BONKERS bc it's literally not artificial intelligence. chatgpt is NOT AI it's fucking glorified predictive chat and all the dumbass tech bros on linkedin and twitter who hail it as like world changing infuriate me lol. like chatgpt literally works by calculating the word with the highest probability to come next in the sentence/in response to that prompt based on the data it trained on. is that super impressive ignoring the real world stuff going on? yeah!! it is! it's doing really well and it's fascinating in an academic sense. but then you put it in the real world context, where dumbass tech bros and business leaders worship it as god and where SEO morons use it to turn the internet to sludge and it's like oh god WHY.

and the ai art bullshit oh my god. ok i took a machine vision class right. and like literally one of my projects was to write code that could take in a photo and output it in the "style" of another photo. like as the cs version of a creative exercise, basically (they give u a Lot of projects that are basically write ur own version of an algorithm that's already been written more efficiently by someone else, bc that's how you can kind of pick it apart and really understand it, it's like reverse engineering) to show us how that works. (photos from that project are below; i took the cactus photo and then i "combined" it with a monet. i am STAUNCHLY anti-ai "art" btw this was Lich rally an assignment lol). but do you know what i learned (and what my whole class learned)? it's not fucking magic. it's LINEAR ALGEBRA. it's linear algebra on a truly batshit crazy level, combined with some crazy optical physics equations, but it's literally math. technically speaking, if you had infinite time, and were really insanely good at math (and really really perfect abt not making mistakes), you could do it by hand lol.

ai art from prompts? that's just turning words into numbers (not hard!! i did a project that did that in my second year of undergrad in literally 6hrs!!!) and THEN doing some crazy math and turning numbers into PIXELS! the computer does not know what is going on. it is a FANCY CALCULATOR. WHEN U THINK ABT IT LIKE THAT ASSIGNING HUMAN TRAITS TO MATH IS INSANE.

like tech bros who are like bro chatgpt is aliveeee bc they talk to it is like. if i made my high school graphing calculator draw a smiley face and then was like omg it has emotions......

anyways. like do you know how many projects ive worked on that use AI/ML for GOOD??? like. same kind of techniques that ppl use to create generative ai "art" algorithms? used to do things like detect cancer in scans before human doctors can do it with any confidence. isn't that so fucking cool???? i interviewed w a professor who used machine vision (so literally the field that is now seen as being abt ai art) to figure out what nutritional/vitamin deficiencies ppl in remote villages in madagascar are likely to have based on SATELLITE IMAGERY. so that the overworked underfunded public health ministry could more easily meet their needs without necessarily having to do expensive testing on everyone! i mean, shit, i've worked on really cool sports analytics projects using machine vision. that's not exactly saving lives lol but like. just goes to show how many positive applications there are!

in terms of chatgpt vibes like. i've worked on natural language processing! it has so much more potential than spitting out misinformation!! silly projects for classes, like classifying what political party a politician belonged to based on their tweets, but also more serious stuff in the research i did, like analyzing international public opinion by demographic and country on various conflicts based on individuals' social media posts! analyzing covid vaccine opinions based on demographics, and how to encourage vaccination rates based on that!!

idk it's just. infuriating. that ceos and dumbass business majors (sorry to business majors but i have met a Very Specific Type who like to butt into my field and i am Not A Fan) have completely twisted these really and truly interesting projects and applications. to continually make more money and to cut out/replace more and more people. and the way funding has mirrored this kind of interest, in part bc it makes money (the remote villages nutrition thing is never gonna make money. working on chatgpt on the other hand...) and in part bc of like. basically fear-mongering? you get so much more attention for research in these really dramatized fields (and people lie ALL THE TIMMEEEEEEE to get more interest) and it's all CAP. it's BULLSHIT. and it's just to create buzz for big tech companies' bottom lines. they don't care that it's fear based, or whatever. like people being terrified abt the impact of generative ai bc of bullshit headlines and disinformation HELPS THEM make MORE MONEY. and it's so FUCKING STUPID!!!! it makes me SICK!!!!!!

anyways. it's all math, at the end of the day. and i found a job where i get to use it to help people but i still am like deeply grossed out by what comes out of my field and gets popular bc . i got into this bc i loooove data i love information i love finding things out. and i love using those things to help people... and there are ppl using the things i love to hurt people......... it makes me so sad. and mad.

#i used 'like' probably a thousand times here sorry #and also sorry for . how long this got in response LOL. but yeah basically i agree !!! and thank u for chiming in #ai rant from eve what's new #actually idk if ive ever ranted abt it on here lol. but my irl friends have listened to me go on and on abt this many times #ask #cant believe i actually get to kinda use my degree here. normally i just watch the lawyers do their thing #i LITERALLY did sports analytics AND physics analytics stuff is the ironic thing. i have the background lol

[soullessjack]

Question for you about baby Jack: do you think the same people that flatten Jack tend to also woobify Cas to the point of comical gentleness and stereotypical femininity? I was thinking about the implications for both autistic characters having their violence and harsh parts cut away to make them more palatable/adorable.

YES OH MY FUCKING GOD THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING IT.

It was definitely way worse around like S6-7 with Crazy!Cas than it is now, especially as a product of the show’s airing time and how queer men (ie Dean and Cas) were generally viewed during then; if you’ve been on the 2010’s internet you might remember all those mlm ship dynamics that were really just repackages of traditional marriage and gender roles: Alpha/Beta, Top/Bottom, Dom/Sub, etc.

/ Full disclosure that I was *not in these online circles during the 2010’s and I’m not any sort of gender studies expert, so anyone’s free to correct me if I get stuff wrong lol. /

But from what I’ve seen and what I know, Alphas, Tops, and Doms are typically very stereotypically masculine, carrying all the stereotypical traits like aggression and emotional unavailability, and filling in stereo-traditionally masculine roles like being protectors or providers. Vice versa, Betas/Bottoms/Subs were usually the extremely effeminate other half; they were more emotionally sensitive and weak, needed to be protected, and for the most part portrayed as looking physically androgynous or “soft.” Ergo, you have basically affixed these queer men to acting as The Man and The Woman, even though it’s two men.

Like I said, it’s definitely gone away for the most part, especially with the rise in actual gender studies and how gender expression is viewed, especially for men. I’ll still see it in some Destiel art here and there where Dean is this big gruff strong pants-wearer saving a blushing baby-faced dress-clad Cas, (cough wheeze diminuel but you didn’t hear that from me) but thankfully it isn’t thee most prevalent content made for Cas the way baby!jack is thee most prevalent content made for Jack, and there have been plenty of people over the years to come forward and correctly establish Cas as a way more dominant and capable guy than the ao3 fics would have you believe.

Same goes for Dean! He’s set up to be The Man, he likes violence and steak and guns and sleazy dive bar sex, but he’s a very emotionally sensitive man and has his own dips into femininity (Rhonda Hurley, cooking/baking, being Sam’s ‘mother,’ etc.) I’m actually of the opinion that SPN has some of the queerest masculinity ever , and again I’m not a gender studies student or expert by a long shot, but I do think there’s something to be said about how a show that is sort of built on a reversal and deconstruction of the nuclear family (ie Mary being a hunter and John being a normal man, Dean being Sam’s mother in their childhood) is so constantly regurgitated into those very roles by the fandom:

Sam is the “mom” of Jack’s 3 dads, Cas is the sensitive effeminate bean who needs big strong brawny man Dean to protect him, etc., and with Jack’s confirmation as non-binary so many ppl took to drawing them in mostly feminine fashion (which to me speaks a lot to how queer masculinity is treated but that’s for another post I think).

There’s also a lot to be said about how important mothers and motherhood are to SPN. Mary Winchester, Kelly Kline, Lily Sunder, Rowena Macleod, Jody Mills, Amelia Novak, I’m sure I could go on. Sam and Dean follow in the footsteps of their mother’s family as hunters. Castiel bonds with Jack through Kelly, and Jack takes after Kelly more than he does Lucifer (his grandma even points out that he sort of looks like her). I’m absolutely not saying SPN is this ultra feminist show, but when it tries it tries, and what it lays down is very much worth picking up.

you’ll have to forgive me for centering Jack on a Cas ask but I promise it’s not for nothing. like, the whole “twist” to Jack’s character isn’t just that he’s good or sweet; it’s also that he’s much more like his mother. Not only does he look like her, but he’s also very emotional; he’s sensitive, he’s intuitive, he’s deeply empathetic. and where most teen boys wanna be like their old man, he wants to be more like Kelly; even keeping her name as his own. of course he presents fairly masculinely, as do the other guys (unless we’re counting kitchen aprons as a feminine thing, which I only would with a grain of salt), but so much of his character is faceted in being like Kelly; being like his mother, being like a woman, and within the show’s framework that’s a celebrated thing!

I feel like I’m getting away from the original question so here’s some last thoughts to send out the door with you:

> Sam and Dean’s connection and relationship to Mary is also celebrated within the show, arguably more so than their relationship with John

> the importance of mothers in spn is somewhat highlighted by their absences (Sam and Dean, Claire)

TLDR: supernatural accidentally smashed the nuclear gender family and made their men queer and fandom culture/patriarchal norms doesn’t understand it because masculinity isn’t seen as inherently queer the way femininity/androgyny is

#I might actually take up gender studies eventually now it is pretty interesting #not like in college or anything lol . well maybe . #idk lolz #holdthypeace.txt #bringing back that one tag from another post : #every day the gender binary is reinvented and perpetuated and every day I want to rip my skin off to escape it #spn #supernatural #tfw2.0 #jack kline #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #mlm ships #gender stuff #spn study #does this make sense am I insane #also I don’t know if this is necessary but I’ll say it anyways #1) I am not a terf and I don’t ever hope for this argument to be caught on with them #2) im non-binary and I love Jack for being non-binary and my little side note ab the way he’s drawn is not a statement against that ; #; it’s a statement against how masculinity isn’t seen as queer unless it’s in proximity to femininity or androgyny #usually. I know bears are having a grand old time tho 🙌🙌

[alykatsevents]

Can I get a romantic matchup from Hazbin? Here are some informations abt me

Gender and pref: I’m a he/she and choose how I present myself based on the setting bc I’m not that open with ppl (yeah, I think it’s important to express yourself but realistically that won’t get me far in certain settings in my country); no gender pref but I’m not too fond of some writing choices when it comes to women in Viv’s works, depends on a character though

Style: kinda rockstar gf vibe? Sometimes softer colours too

Personality, hobbies: I’m social and extroverted. Usually that leaves me as a leader of whatever group I’m in. I have a little bit of a hater in me, but I don’t show it if ppl don’t encourage it. I do like when it’s being enabled though. It’s not convenient when you’re in a position where ppl ask you for opinions and actually follow your guide, yk, if I manage an event I’m not going to go around shit talking everything. It feels nice to have someone who does that though, makes it easier to join in and not feel like a jerk (or at least be jerks together I guess??). I write my own songs and am in a band as a backup vocal. Kinda proud that it’s my band but I need to get better until I step up as anything more. I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I like to tease ppl if given the opportunity. Others say I’m flirty. Bold with it at that. I’m ambitious too. Kind of a big thing but I have npd (if you want to look it up without reading scientific papers, go on tumblr, bc the rest of the internet is filled with ‘demonic narcissism’ bullshit) and it influences the way I am. I care lots about my image and don’t have a ton of empathy. I don’t go kicking puppies, but it’s noticeable how I lack in this department. Sometimes people say I’m ’too nice to have it’ cause i do well with kids and do all the youth group volunteering. Also, I do some martial arts and other sports. Kinda sceptical of romance at this point cause I had lots of it and I don’t mix well with a lot of people, but maybe I could do something serious for once if I had the right person. I try to be responsible and respectful but I have no issue finding my place at a wild party or something. I'm pretty chill in general, but I can be soft-er if I want, like with children or if the few ppl I actually am close with (I've got many friend groups but I struggle to make meaningful connections) need me. Usually I just stay my highly analytical, laid back self and say my silly little comments every once in a while. Heard I’m pretty funny if I want to be. My love language is acts of service. I like small things and I do them a lot. I can do words too, but I don't care for them in return. Like, you can be an asshole (up to a limit, I know my worth) and it’s cool with me if I see you have your ways of caring like putting on a song I like in the car

Likes and dislikes: love movies like Fight Club (my fav), American Psycho and Donnie Darko; hate sharks, they freak me out; my fav book is The Catcher in the Rye; hate it when people push me to open up and be emotional; love music and unironically had a few guys play songs AT me and I actually like that too, tho I get why ppl clown on that

My type: I like people who are more negative than me and aren't afraid to shittalk everything. Just saying whatever, not caring if they offend ppl (up to a point, some issues aren’t debatable ik). Don't really care for morality (to a certain point, again) if you're charismatic and fun to be around, I’m along for the ride and happy to support whatever you get yourself into. I think I would get along with someone who had a little npd too, I like to be able to relate to my partner a bit. If they work somewhat similarly, I don't have to struggle with understanding some stuff, bc I already know how to manage an ego or grandiose behavior. As for looks. Idk, I don’t have a set type. I think maybe ppl that are bigger than me? I’m pretty athletic so it’s not hard, but I guess that’s been a pattern? Also, I do enough of leading as is so in relationships I don’t mind watching from the side and supporting whatever my partner is doing

-★🎶

I match you with...

Husk

~He likes listening to you sing

~He doesn't get flustered much but he has a couple times by you

~Both of y'all are skeptical about the whole romance thing, But y'all are trying

~Likes watching movies with you

~Yall are both a bit emotionally stunted, that's okay though

~He loves your style

~He prepares drinks for you

~You do a lot of the talking between you two

~Yall shit talk together

~He likes your sense of humor

#alykat's matchups #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel matchup #hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel husk

[artdunk]

yo!! first of all: finding your art actually inspired me to sit down and get drawing for the first time today so thanks for that lol /gen. specifically to mess around with texture- you do it so well!!!

2nd- I just reached “I smell funny, how about you” in the scrolling journey and I’m incredibly curious about the process behind it- to be specific, how you came upon a canvas like that! did you plan to paint that image in particular and like, hunt down a solid window, or was the medium just a cool opportunity you stumbled upon? Ig I’m also asking if it was the medium or image that came to mind first.

regardless of what you wanna share, thanks for your time reading this, and for the creative motivation + profound emotions (/pos) that your art evokes!! we’re all excited to see what you make, but i could easily spend a dozen years analyzing all you’ve put out so far; take it easy, not only are you expressing so much interesting stuff and it’s contributing to more creative minds than u know :-) ik there are many other ppl who have felt this, even if u haven’t heard it in a while.

hopefully this isn’t too overwhelming, i would not expect a reply! just want u to know that discovering a neat artist like u brightened my day and I hope you have something great to look forward to rn

This ask was so thoughtfully typed out and surprisingly reassuring. Not knowing what my art on the internet is impacting, or if it impacts at all. Thank you so much for telling me. I'm so happy that it has inspired you to draw because drawing is crazy & failure is progress🏴‍☠️🤯🥊

My friend had done an installation including a few old white windows that they found. When they were taking the installation down I was like I need to paint on that, so they gave me one. After I lugged it upstairs to a studio (heavy as shit for a little guy like me) is when I figured out an idea to paint. But nowadays I like to consider the surface and subject in unison. fun-fact: my professor at the time absolutely hated that painting.

BTW you should pick a bunch of emojis that resonate with you and make drawings inspired by them. It's very fun and helpful if you're stuck on what to draw. I'm actually pro-emoji...and this is why. go play!

🚧⛳️🥬🧃🧯🧨⚔️🩸🖼🚽💌🏚🚂🚕🏏🍪

[scilifig]

Hi guys long time no see! i feel extremely sad for not saying this earlier and honestly haven’t vent had the energy to write this, but I’ve been inactive for a while on this acc. I never rlly thought i would make this tweet, but im not as engaged in this fandom as i once was, partly due to my mental health not allowing me to enjoy as much as i used to, and other factors. Its honestly been so upsetting feeling myself slowly start to distance myself, and slowly not being updated on content, whereas in the past i would never miss a piece of content and it was the only thing i thought about. i no longer understand certain niche tweets about current content and have lost all energy to even bother to scroll tl. its honestly been such a journey trying to find myself and understand what i enjoy outside of this fandom, because for so long it has been the only thing going for me, and i feel like i had such a strong attachment to the cc’s i enjoyed, and found my health and headspace got worse when there wasn’t content, and was so anxiously attached to twitter and never wanted to miss out on anything, and i felt so left out all the time. honestly the meetup was one of the most joyous, beautiful, experiences, but also quite traumatic for me.

another thing i haven’t mentioned is the toll its had on my mental health being fixated on a content creator that is treated so terribly, and is seen as punching bag of the internet in most cases, and having to see discourse after discourse and seeing everything’s antis are saying was so draining. i feel like that ruined my mindset, because before i had twitter, i didn’t even know what antis were and i was enjoying content as it was, and honestly didn’t even know what stan twt was. i could talk about the negative effects this app has had on me, but i want to acknowledge the good.

i just want to say that i still absolutely love the dteam and i feel like i always will, they have been such a huge part of my life and i will forever be grateful to them, im so excited for new things coming and im so proud of dream and all the new music and future endeavours! i wish nothing but the best for them all, and will support them for a long time to come! i hope everyone in the fandom experiences so much love and happiness, and has so much more amazing content to enjoy!

i dont want to get too emotional, but i am truly so grateful for this community. it genuinely saved me and im not able to articulate it with words. I had no idea that there was such a community like this on the internet, that was so loving and accepting, so talented with so many incredible creatives and beautiful human beings. all of this made me feel loved in a way i never knew i could feel. i have met so many beautiful people that are now some of my best friends and i dont know what it would be like without them, and to all my mutuals and anyone thats ever interacted with me, thank you. i love you all so dearly, and the suppourt i have gotten on my art has felt unreal. i never understood why i even gained followers, and was honestly so shocked that ppl would see something i created, and like it enough to comment the nicest things imaginable. honestly im getting teary eyes while writing this and im sure that this format of writing might be a bit difficult to read and im rambling but thank you so much. if you have taken time to read this far!

i’ve been active on my private account posting about random life updates but also about other things i like, such as cartoons! i do spam alot over there and i totally understand not wanting to follow me if u dont share the same interests, but if u are interested in seeing me on ur tl, u can always follow! @/curlywurly1239

im not sure what i want to do with this acc as i dont want to annoy ppl with posting art other than what i was followed for, so i think ill leave it as is! i think ill still be on here sometimes to support my moots and talk every now and then, but not very frequently! again thank you so much i love you all so much, i hope u are all doing well, and if not, i hope u are treating urself kindly because you deserve the entire world and more, and you deserve love and care! tysm if u read all this im so grateful for you guys 💕

[hueningoo-archive]

ok so this is my first time doing match up i kinda know who im gonna get but i wanted to try anyways (in my delulu era btw)

so im 21, entp, leo sun libra moon cancer rising, virgo mercury, cancer venus, sagittarius mars, 160 cm, i am afab and i am mostly comfortable with the gender i was assigned at birth but is this really important idk

lmy hobbies include talking and with talking i mean lots of talking(i was in the debate team in high-school), walking, biking, binge watching, cooking and baking, and of course listening music. i usually listen emotional songs or songs to go crazy no in between. for example i listen mitski at least an hour a day but i also listen the most energetic stuff out there like crayon pop bar bar bar. i really love languages and linguistics. i love dc comics, my favorite character is zatanna. i love playing videogames and especially if it is with my friends. zatanna is my favorite thing in the world btw but i can talk about batman and batfamily nonstop.

i usually get along with everyone but i am kinda paranoid believing that they don't actually like me. like they usually say that i am kind, friendly and cool but it doesn't convince me. i have a cat named robin bc i am the batman duh... i love her she is my rock. i study english language teaching. some say im manipulative but i honestly have no idea what im doing to manipulate them? i have a pretty dark sense of humor but it is not offensive at the slightest. i bully ppl i love but i also worship them again no in-between. i am respectful and helpful but if it is my family i am the opposite bc of the trauma lol.

and the things i dislike include harry potter(im the biggest hater ngl), iron man, scarlet witch, the music eva max is doing(but in the most respectful way), harry styles(not in a respectful way i despise this man), people who say superman is boring, selfishness, not putting an effort to understand other people's feelings, most men, people constantly criticizing me, myself, people who say astrology is stupid

what my potential partner can do to make me happy: they can draw zatanna for me im a simple person i love zatanna and everything they do that is slightly related to zatanna would automatically make me happy, cuddling sessions, trolling people on the internet together, them being patient with me, them liking my cooking/baking, having inside jokes together, them getting my sense of humour, them being my safe space, them being happy, them listening/reading/watching the list i made for them and linking it, them doing the same to me, them telling me their struggles and thinking that i understand them, them not getting mad at me

i match you with... beomgyu!

we all know, gyu may be quiet at first or when hes alone- but when hes around people hes the complete opposite! keeping that in mind, long conversations of god knows what are bound to happen. he'll listen to everything you have to say even if its a lot. he does value his quiet times with you though. beomgyu also listens to emotional music so expect a lot of listening to that with him. he probably also has a playlist dedicated to u lol

i think that even if beomgyu mayyy not be the best artist (ive never seen his art so idk if hes that good or not BUT STILL) he'll draw whatever as long as it makes u happy hehe. also, gyu is all for cuddling! cuddling while trolling people on the internet..?? hes all for it!!! he will literally at anything u baked/cooked, if u made it, he KNOWS it tastes good!

#hueningoo matchup event #delulu era is literally so true me too fr #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fluff #tomorrow x together #txt x reader

[heich0e]

if you've sent in an ask lately that i didn't respond to, it may be answered under the cut! i'll be dividing these posts up by general subject matter so no one has to scroll for too long to find any asks they may have sent. feel free to block the tag #liv got mail if you don't like seeing posts like this. i'm sorry to have kept you waiting, and p.s. i love you very much <3

part four: fic stuff, etc. ✉

✉ Anonymous asked: liv no one writes suna like you how am i supposed to go on when you hate him (affectionately)

u should try hating on him too it's very liberating and he's an easy target <3

✉ Anonymous asked: not a day goes by when I don't think about pollute I deeply thank you for making it 🩷😔🙏

ahhhh yes... polluted.... my gang-num opus.... thank u for enjoying one of the nastiest things i have ever written we are in this together now!!

✉ @just-jordie-things asked: hello here like everyone else to make sure you get so much love for your mini series with megumi 🤗🤭 (and also i just binged the rest of your work too 😭 😂) i love your writing style it’s so addicting i feel so involved in your stories. and i just loooove how you write megumi !! excellent work i hope you had fun with it!! have a great day/night 🫶

HI JORDIE!! u are SO KIND!! i am so happy you enjoyed the series (and hopefully whatever else you read!!) and i really really really REALLLLY appreciate you taking a moment to share these sweet words w me. sending u love and endless gratitude!! <3

✉ Anonymous asked: Hey Liv, just wanted to reach out to you

Hopefully you don't feel overwhelmed or something like that regarding your last series and everything that came along with it (also your last asks were... Let's say bizarre), so I just wanted to remind you that while I think you're an amazing writer and love what you post, I do not simply follow you for the content you put out: in fact I've become more an more interested in your persona, I think you're hilarious and witty and kind and I find myself looking forward to even you reblogging art and your keysmashes in the tags

Thank you for being so special Liv!!♥️🤩

this really ought to have gone in the love letter section because it's so incredibly sweet of you to say. u might have questionable taste in girlbloggers but omg your heart is so beautiful and kind :') thank YOU for making me FEEL so special, and for taking the time out of your life to do so. i adore u more than i could ever say and i am sending u roughly 92 MILLION kisses. love u so big.

✉ Anonymous asked: hi liv! whenever u see this i just wanted to say that im sorry u felt like u couldnt continue posting smth u created and had fun making onto ur little corner of the internet that we all have the privilege of sharing w u 🖤 it rlly does hurt when smth we make and are excited to share with others isnt met w the same kind of enthusiasm. even tho it's understandable why some ppl weren't huge fans of ur mini megumi series, im sure it was still a bit hurtful. i just wanted to say that everything you create, no matter who likes or dislikes it, is beautiful and deserving of love and recognition for the effort, time and emotions you put into making it. i hope ur break is relaxing and lovely, and i cant wait to continue supporting u and ur creativity when u get back 🖤🖤🖤

thank u little guy. i appreciate you and these words very very much <3

✉ Anonymous asked: just read the Megumi drabble series and saw your prev asks answering the continuation of it, and let me just say that (a) i LOVED the series it's absolutely adorable and also angsty and (b) i completely understand if you decide not to continue!!!! i just wanted to show some support ❤️❤️ your writing's incredible ❤️❤️ regardless of if it'll continue or not, it was an amazing read!

thank you for reading and enjoying it!! you are so sweet!! sending u a big tight squeeze

✉ Anonymous asked: LOVE YOUR LATEST MEGUMI FIC!!! I know it’s easier said than done but I hope you become more comfortable with posting whatever you want in you little corner of the internet!!!

ahhhhhh i hope so too!! and i am so grateful you enjoyed it!! thank you friend <3

✉ Anonymous asked: I loved the recent series of veterinarian Megumi and his son so much, I loved your writing. I understand you're not going to continue, but I appreciate you writing it anyway.💓

and i appreciate u reading it!!!! and enjoying it!! it means so much to me!! blowing u a big kiss rn

✉ Anonymous asked: hi hi Liv ❤️ I just wanted to say I respect your choice to not post more of your oopsy baby series to prevent others from becoming uncomfortable, and I just hope it doesn’t diminish your own joy for writing and creating.

I think it’s totally fair to acknowledge that you hadn’t included a warning or anything about the kid (almost definitely) being Megumi and reader’s, cuz that happens sometimes! Things slip through! But at the same time people don’t have to keep reading if they get to a point they’re not enjoying it.

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I just want you to be happy in your space, so whatever way you choose to achieve that is of course the best choice for you ❤️❤️

hi hi FRIEND!! thank you for such sweet words and for being so understanding and kind. LOVE UUUUUU

✉ Anonymous asked: just wanna compliment you cause its honestly so impressive that you managed to write and outline multiple stories in the past two weeks. you never fail to amaze me with your creativity keep up with the amazing stuff and take care of yourself :)

i feel so SO lucky to have an outlet to dump all my silly little ideas into when they strike, and to have people (like you!!) who are there to enjoy them along with me!! hope you're well sweet thing!!

✉ Anonymous asked: PLEASE GOD YOUR WRITING IS IMMACULATE. LIKE DOWNRIGHT SWEEPING ME OFF MY FEET IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SEE YOU POST IMMACULATE.

write whatever makes you comfortable, parenthood or not because after all, YOU are the one who is writing it and everyone has their own responsibility to scroll if they dont like your comment. anyway, sending lots of love, YOU DESERVE IT ALL!!

WAHHH u are so kind!! sending u a big squish and so much love right back <3 and thank you for such a lovely bit of reassurance i appreciate u!!

[one last note: there were some other asks about the mini megumi series that i wasn't sure if i should include. i never want to post or share anything that someone might interpret as targeted, or alienating, or sensitizing in any way—and i'm ready to move on and not rehash any old wounds. i know they all came from a very kind place, and i am so truly and sincerely appreciative of anyone who reached out to check on me, or support me, or tell me that they enjoyed the series. love u always and tremendously, liv. xx]

#liv got mail #PHEW WE MADE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!

[elsartzz]

I really love your art! your style is so pretty, it's like eye candy fr. you're such a skilled artist! also, I wanted to mention that I saw a couple of your thoughts posts and I wanted to suggest possibly investing into a journal to write them down into instead—I've found it helps to get the negative thoughts out, and then you're not broadcasting them to random strangers on the internet. not trying to throw shade, just genuinely concerned for your mental health. I really do enjoy your mha and genshin art, and it makes me happy when you post it! I love how you added both kaeya and klee in your recent contribution to the barbie meme lol. I hope you're having a good day, and if not, I hope things start looking up real soon! stay safe, and don't be too hard on yourself, alright? you're an awesome person 🩷 this is your sign to keep going

Hello!! Thank you so much for the kind words, I’m happy you like my art :))

Regarding the comment abt my thoughts posts – aw thanks for your concern! But first off, it’s actually been a while since I posted those (I checked and I think it was more than a year back? same w my mha art tbh– either you’ve been following for a while or you must’ve scrolled a lot LOL either way I’m impressed.) and I did delete a bunch of older emo posts and shifted some stuff to a more private blog, cos I realised it wasn’t too healthy to post everything online.

And I do have a journal!! It helps me a lot to get my thoughts out of my head and reason through emotional issues. I highly recommend keeping a journal too (even though I haven’t updated mine in a few days lol).

As for why I have the tendency to post more personal thoughts online… sometimes I want to share about smth ppl might find relevant, and sometimes I simply want the space to quickly vent about things that I can’t share with people in real life (for whatever reason). And I only do it cos I know I’m a small account (half my followers are bots) and it doesn’t really “endanger” my reputation and all that.

It’s a bit like shouting off a mountain or into a void, except sometimes the void speaks back and is kinda somewhat decent to you.

And occasionally people have replied!! (not on Tumblr tho lol) to share help/advice/support, which has been really nice.

But yes, I’m aware venting on the internet is probably not the healthiest and can be potentially dangerous as well. Also maybe it’s a bit of a turnoff if an artist you like keeps complaining about how miserable they are lol.

Don’t worry I’ll be sure to keep to myself more since my account is growing a bit, and draw a line between how much and what I share on the internet. I’m aware of Internet safety!!

…but just wanna say I’m probably not gonna stop random posting about unimportant things in life like how horrible my sweaty palms are lol they’re the literal worst FRRRR 😭😭

#elsaskzz #thanks anon for caring #and for saying it in a nice way #ngl I got a bit scared that ppl were judging me #i went and deleted a bunch of my tweets LOL #but yeah oversharing online is not the best!! #have to be discerning haha #ALSO I AM VERY LONGWINDED I APOLOGISE #oh last thing but don’t worry anon I am doing okay #my sense of humour is a bit self-deprecating #but all’s good I’m aware of what’s going on #and trying to make small changes #one step at a time!! #:)

[patchofhope]

WHERE THIS BITCH BE

AHAAAAA i rise from the dirt i intentionally buried myself in to make an update post. Yeah cus i make those now i guess? So where the FUCK have I been? I know 0 people have been asking that but im on some hotgirl shit and my world revolves around me so im making the explanation post anyways because this bitch needs to live a little and stop assuming the internets gonna tear me apart if i show emotion. SO. the short answer? Been working on a toyhouse account to unleash my blorbos upon the world cus i kinda realized that if i dont DISPLAY my ocs noone knows how to fuckin ask questions about them. so i’m doing that. the long answer? drama. sooo much drama. i watched a polycule form and crumble and that aint even the most interesting thing. So i kinda got tired of ppl and just wanted to stop existing for a bit (yknow, typical reality detachment shit.) and i’ve been focused on improving my physical health the best i can because currently thats whats preventing the mental health from improving. I have a fuckign severe caffeine addiction and am working on cutting back on it. So I am CONSTANTLY plagued by brain fog that makes me sorta forget that things exist. which includes this and the ask blog. but to be CLEAR the ask is NOT DEAD i just. need to actually get it to the point where i can TAKE QUESTIONS. which means WORKING ON IT. but rn the toyhouse is number 1 priority because i need something to focus on and it’s keeping me grounded. nor is this blog dead. I just keep doing this thing of ‘i like a post so i can reblog it later when my brain isnt mush that laughs at funny words but i end up forgetting about it’ which is a problem in and of itself but WHATEVER what matters is im gonna start actually USING THIS BLOG and probably SHOUTING A LOT because i do that. whether or not im gonna post art is entirely up to how i feel in the moment, so a lot of this is gonna be sporadic and impulsive because that is how i live my life and i need to stop reigning it in so bad to the point where i sit and do nothing for 10 hours a day because the mortifying thought of ‘what if you end up regretting it’ is seared into my brain from years of being the gifted kid with nothing to show for it. so yeah whos ready for my multifandom crossover bullshit because i am 2 steps away from just dumping it out there

#Cy rambles #good lord idk what this post is #i want to have a social presence but i am not a social person #so i just go back and forth on 'will someone like this' and 'the world isnt ready for me' #but fuck it #have my brain dumpings cus the bog no longer cares #its me im the problem #its me im the bog #and the bog desires attention so if that means making myself known then so be it #your fandoms are not safe -evil laughter- #anyways self confidence tip: act like the hottest shit #it works i promise

[sweatermuppet]

sweater do you think poetry needs to be good? like cant it be simple? i love photography/collages that are more sober if just like a very intimist phase in it just rlly touch me and i was thinking about starting doing it but im afraind its just so bad and silly, what if it goes by "constant stream of shitty overwrought nonsense labeled as 'poetry'"? i love your work so muuuch im happy that you exists and let me get touched by your art ilv S2

a big fear i had when i first started writing poetry was being too simple. i had to fluff everything with figurative language. sometimes i still feel that way & it really stems from the fact that ppl didn't care abt me crying for help unless it was poetic. i couldn't just say "im hurting, come hold me". that'd been said before. i got praise for making my suffering into poetry so i only ever showed ppl the real floral, complicated stuff.

it's okay to be simple. it's also okay to be cliché & straightforward & not poetic at all. sometimes the aesthetic of writing is entirely secondary to the emotional response a single statement makes. you don't have to dress things up for them to have value.

it's inevitable someone isn't gonna like yr poetry. they'll think yr unoriginal or too simple to "get" poetry or find some other reason. doesn't make yr poetry bad, just means someone THINKS it is. it's never as dire as it seems. everyone is just someone. even the famous poets, they're just someone.

even now i struggle with feeling silly or embarrassing, but i encourage you to write. write simply & use clichés. write as ridiculously as you want. for all the evils of the internet, there is the good feeling of knowing you'll make, at the VERY least, one positive connection with yr art. the net is so wide, you'll make one fan or one friend no matter where u start. back in the 60s & 70s all u had were the people around u or publishing companies—& it was more likely you'd get rejected than hear smthng nice back. & you'll still meet rejection now, you'll still have people hate u, but it's sooo much easier to find little communities that aren't paywalled or elitist. there's value in yr writing. ppl are going to reassure you of that.

much love to you!

#anonymous

[sawadavampaneze]

Really don't want to come back posting with something like this (I'm waiting for Yuumori anime disc to come home so I could post the new art in there but this current issue is taking too far for my liking). Just want to make this clear with no hate feeling for anyone or any couple.

If anyone curious about why ppl hating TFP arc (I will only talk about this arc), it's mostly because:

1. The final plan of William if he thinks some fires can change anything (ppl's mind or a whole country): Look at the whole scene with a psychological view, or just let's yourself be a noble in this series. Even in the modern world, wealthy ppl can help others when in need but they won't give up their privileges that easily. Just take your time and think about it. And I will have to make a long post if I want to talk about other aspects such as economical or political views etc. Put away your emotions with the character and you will see it. I love William (he is still the love of my life) so it's really hard for me to admit that he's not a genius as he is described through the whole series and that his final plan is stupid (if you don't believe me, my older post has a pic of William's merch's shrine. I own almost every William merch so far and I also am waiting for the perfume and a 14000 ¥ ring. And not to mention Sherlock's merch because I like both of them. I don't like bragging about my collection but thats just to show how I devoted to both William and this series and still, I also find it has so many flaws).

2. Fanservice: Don't look at it with a bias shipping view and you will see why many ppl feel really cringe about that arc. I have talked with both SherLiam and non-shipping fans (most of them don't even ship Sherlock with Irene or John) and even some SherLiam fans had admitted the fanservice in it is a little bit too much (And fyi, I don't even know them at all, those are just briefly counterparts on the internet). If you only interact with other fans who share the same mind, you won't understand why because you're just in a shipdom, not the whole fandom. I'm really neutral with every couple and also is a long-time fan of this manga so I have spent a lot of time with both parties to understand each pov. And admitting something you like has flaws is hard but we're human after all and we can both love and criticize something at the same time. That's the beautiful of having a passion for something 🤗

3. The writing of this manga is weak, really weak: If it's not, then both anime and musical staffs didn't have to do the research again to change the details/plotholes or added more inner thoughts for characters in Op.3 to be more convincing if they want to make Op.4. I know many manga readers hate anime becase it cut too many scene (This series is flop so obviously the budget is limited) but if you look on other side, you will see that the staffs had to change many details so anime watchers couldn't find those flaws. It's not perfect, I admit, but I still appreciate their efforts. And I have followed this manga for years, remembered every detail/every line in it and took time to analyze plot holes so I know what I said. I also own both stage and musical disc so you can't say I take this manga lightly. This series has been a part of my heart and soul for years.

=> Everyone has different opinions and there are many ppl out there who agree with what I just said above. I know that because I have seen many posts in my country's M-A community with this topic. One has about 1500 comments and more than 700 shares. Most of them wish they could enjoy the manga but it was hard for them because TFP arc (or the whole manga) can only be excellent and enjoyable if they like the shipping. And all of those opinions are just in one of many similar posts. This is just an example but I just want to say that You might don't see it but those ppl with different pov exist. They don't talk much because they know others in the fandom might attack/criticize them for their beliefs. Judging others for some opinions they think no one agree with is extremely wrong, especially if you only see it from one pov.

Just don't let the emotional feeling you get from the manga clouding your judgment with other ppl opinions.

I know you don't think what I said is true but seriously, I've invested in this manga and the fandom for too long so I just said what I have witnessed. I was there when there was almost no content for this series and how I used to wish this manga could get more regconized. I even remember the name of every account that joined the fandom in the early days when anime first broadcasted because I was too happy for this series. At some points, I even talked with anti-fans but they usually hate it so much that they don't want to mention about it which is also why you see rarely anybody criticze this series. Still, I respect every opinion because it make me look at this manga with more diversified view!

And I'm quite salty about the fact that this manga has lose so many fans because of those issues above. I really wish things could be different and hope the plot would be better than this. Maybe It's just my fault for setting the bar too high haha

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yukoku no moriarty #william james moriarty #I stay for the plot but also leave bc of the plot

[locktobre]

bcbd thoughts

right away I see that this is only an hour long, so... it’s not a movie, then. it’s a one hour special, again. I feel like I’m already gonna miss the extra 20 minutes just like dolphin magic but we’ll see I guess. maybe it’ll be a mercy that it’s shorter.

the opening credits/dream sequence was nice. the animation on the city is decent, and the monochrome thing was kind of cool.

her being on stage reminded me a little of Eden, and then immediately I missed Eden so much. they would never let a version of Babs be a bitch now and that’s such a shame.

so now we’re joking about George tracking Barbie’s cell phone? bc that’s fine and not at all an invasion of privacy or anything. also, you can check flight statuses on the internet so that’s really not necessary. also, why the fuck didn’t Barbie call them once she got off the plane? or at least text? I always text or call my mom when I land, and frankly I’m not even as close to my mom as Barbie claims to be to her parents. and I did that when I was 17 traveling alone, too, so it’s not just something I do as an adult. it’s part of the responsibility of traveling to let ppl know that you got somewhere safe so they don’t worry about you. what the fuck Babs.

was that honking supposed to be like censoring the cabbie swearing bc I would love that. let the cabbie say fuck.

I still maintain that this “summer program” thing is bullshit and Babs should have been going off to college. I know they won’t let her grow up but it makes more sense than this does. also, you’re telling me there’s no summer programs for acting/whatever in LA? seriously? she HAD to go across the country for this? and her parents let her? they don’t even trust her! they said that 2 seconds ago! or is tracking her cell phone the reason she’s allowed to travel across the country (to Willows and Florida and Hawaii) by herself in the first place? I hate this I hate it so much already

The Handler Arts Academy... oh I’m feeling emotions

“luck’s got nothing to do with it. you worked your tail off for this” SHOW ME FOR WHEN, PLEASE. this could have been an actual arc of the show, a goal Barbie was working towards that could thread thru multiple episodes... but no. this came out of nowhere. I’m STILL saying that Amelia bought Barbie’s place here bc FUCK YOU SHOW

“I hope I’m good enough” you’re a mediocre rich white woman, you can do literally anything you want.

why is her guitar shoved in a cardboard box and not, idk, in a guitar case? that’s stupid. also, that’s an open cardboard box, so how did that travel on the plane? a closed cardboard box, fine. should be a suitcase, but fine. but this just makes no sense and I am not going to let it slide bc I hate this continuity and everything about it.

however, I will give Brooklyn a pass for the open cardboard box bc she literally lives in NYC and didn’t have to take a fucking plane to get here. she can carry it like that if she wants.

“as long as you don’t break [my leg], we’re good” I’ve already seen Brooklyn in a cast, so... does Malibu literally break her leg later on? even on accident... jesus christ.

is this Russian(?) custodian lady gonna be the antagonist/villain? bc I’m already not vibing with that. not at fucking all.

how the FUCK could they show up a day early? why would they not show up on the day they’re supposed to? that doesn’t make any sense! and if they’re NOT supposed to be there yet, then there would be no staff there to watch them, so they should have to come back tomorrow! they shouldn’t be allowed to be by themselves in a school like this! I’m assuming this is to facilitate a day of bonding without stupid things like classes in the way, but they could have written an orientation day or something in that would have made more sense, and as I said, I am not inclined to give them a pass on anything these days. fuck you all.

so, room assignments are alphabetical... I guess that kind of explains them being in the same room, altho it does feel coincidental that they wouldn’t be, like, in neighboring rooms. also they didn’t animate little signs on the other doors, even with nonsense text if they didn’t want to put other names up, so their door really sticks out for no reason. also, shouldn’t it say “Barbie Roberts & Barbie Roberts” or some other way of having both names on the door? also, if the school knows they have the same name, couldn’t they put middle initials or something? we know Malibu is Barbie M. Roberts, and I will generously assume that Brooklyn’s middle name is something else, so that would have been fine. this really feels like the administrators don’t give a fuck, and in a supposedly prestigious school, I don’t buy that.

so, Brooklyn has been training every summer in different programs, very intensely, to get in here... and Malibu trained on the internet. what have I been saying about Malibu’s white mediocrity? hmm?

even after that (lackluster) montage, it feels way too soon for “Before Us.” I don’t believe they’re best friends who warrant a song about their friendship. I don’t believe that at all.

I like the bald fashionista being on the billboard, that’s a nice touch.

Malibu bringing up her vlog like that gives me hives. she has already stated multiple times that she does that to help ppl, not for clout, and yet. here she is. being a fake ass bitch once again.

Brooklyn and Emmie’s story is already way more interesting than this and I’m pissed that’s just backstory.

LOVE that green-haired dude. idk where you’re going with that drum but godspeed my dude.

I’m assuming that’s Emmie incognito in the back, but... what’s she doing here if she’s already famous? pulling an Erika Juno?

Dean Morrison seems cool

(is it too early to ship Brooklyn x Emmie?)

if pets are allowed in this school, I’m SHOCKED Malibu didn’t bring Taffy. truly fucking shocked.

Rafa reminds me so much of Jacques Rousseau

“the only labels we believe in are designer” so Rafa’s gay, right? Barbie’s first gay character? I can only assume

the ballet thing still doesn’t make sense to me, if their goal is to be on Broadway. ballet is an entire art and discipline in itself.

fencing makes more sense, bc stage fighting is a thing.

‘work it’ is even funnier than I imagined. Malibu you’re such a fuck up. and I can’t even cut you some slack bc earlier you said your training was “internet.” you didn’t work for this and you don’t belong here. die.

if this was PCS, Malibu would have been kicked out already. YOU WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS.

so, the ‘work it’ montage clearly showed the passage of time, it’s been at least a week, and... Malibu hasn’t talked to Ken at all during that time? this is the first time she’s telling him about Brooklyn?

ok, confirmed to be a week. and she hasn’t talked to Ken. of course. they are so close of course she hasn’t talked to him in a week, especially when she’s been struggling so much and would need to vent to a friend about it. of course.

so, Emmie is pulling an Erika Juno. at least she’s in disguise.

jesus christ, they’re really having Emmie be exploited by her own father??? JESUS.

ok Brooklyn x Emmie is sailing.

Brooklyn’s mom is an airline pilot, that sounds cool.

so the dresses are powered by the magic of friendship? cool. that’s stupid.

of COURSE Emmie’s dad is the board member. jesus christ I hate this dude.

okay, so she DIDN’T break her leg, it’s only a sprain. thank god. poor green-haired drum dude.

saying “epic fail” in 2021 unironically is not cool, mattel. unless I’m even more out of touch with the youth than I thought, but I’m pretty sure about that.

wait, so Brooklyn was dancing... and now she’s on crutches again? what is this montage? they fucked up here.

of all things to kick Malibu out for, they’re saying she pushed Brooklyn? why not all the fuck ups in her first week?

also, Rafa was taping that class so how do they not bring that up immediately? that’s the whole reason they were dancing over there in the first place! (so he might not have caught anything, but still, I have to assume that’s going to fix this bc that’s what these movies do.)

I really like Malibu’s leather jacket look, but she does look a little bit old I think. Brooklyn’s leggings look is nice, too.

okay, so Brooklyn suddenly believes the unnamed witness over the girl she sang ‘before us’ with? okay. I told you this friendship was a crock of shit. they don’t trust each other at all! Brooklyn should have been angry when she first fell, and it builds to thinking that she was sabotaged, but she brushed it off... and now she’s pissed. that makes no sense.

this friendship breakup song also means nothing to me bc their friendship fell apart for such a stupid reason. fate didn’t tear you apart, you tore yourselves apart by not trusting each other. stupid little children.

if Brooklyn’s ankle isn’t completely healed aka still painful, she should not be dancing on it, she could injure herself more or at least prolong the healing process.

ok, so NOW, after Malibu has already been expelled and sent back home, they remembered the video. these kids are so fucking stupid. and of COURSE the unnamed witness is Mr Miller! Emmie, you ALREADY KNOW that your dad is shady as shit and wants you to get the Spotlight Solo! HOW DID YOU NOT PUT THIS TOGETHER IN 5 SECONDS? I DID

so, Mr Miller thought Malibu was Emmie’s biggest competition for the solo? Malibu, the spectacular fuck up? not Brooklyn? or any of the background extras? I refuse to fucking believe that. I REFUSE.

how did George and Margaret just let Malibu get expelled without flying out there to fight the charge? seriously?

how is is Brooklyn singing ‘before us’ in-universe such that Malibu recognizes it? you’re breaking the conventions of musicals! I don’t get this!

I like Brooklyn’s mom being a pilot less after it’s been used to facilitate this bullshit part of the plot.

again, just “Barbie Roberts” makes no sense. where’s a middle initial to differentiate them! SOMETHING! I know they’re doing the finale together, but still, it’s STUPID.

shipping Rafa x green-haired drummer dude bc I can

where’s the Emmie doll for this movie?????? I’m so disappointed. also the other outfits, the leather jacket and leggings ones, I swear those weren’t dolls either. what the fuck

I see more fashionistas on billboards at the end! I really like that

so the custodian wasn’t a villain... then why that introduction for her? that went nowhere

is “Big City Big Dreams” supposed to be Emmie’s song? that Malibu lips-synced to on her vlog (apparently)? I can’t tell by the voice and they don’t list the voices for the songs in the credits

overall, once again it largely made no sense. idk if it would have benefitted from 20 extra minutes of screentime bc nothing really happened.

also, what the fuck happened to Mr Miller? he just keeps on exploiting his daughter? and for that matter, what happened to Emmie’s mom? bc she lived with her, and then all of the sudden her dad was in her life again and exploiting her, so... what did mom die? did he kill her? what am I supposed to think? and Emmie’s STILL stuck in that situation? girl. what the fuck

also of course they were too cowardly to confirm anything about Rafa. of course.

#mel irl #barbie babbles #bcbd #barbie spoilers