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#unfortunately i have disorders but i will eventually be able to draw !!!! i promise <3
vvenuspng · 1 year
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my inbox is full of ppl thirsting over stolas n i’m frantically trying to doodle enough of him for each ask to emphasise my appreciation of each n every one of y’all so if ur wondering why i haven’t answered ur ask that is why <3 but just know i am kissing each and every one of u ily ily ilysm mwah mwah mwah <33 here is a shitty sketch as a thank u
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stompsite · 6 years
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The One About Dark Souls
This piece was originally slated for another publication about a year ago. It didn’t get published. So here it is.
This time, I’m confident I have him. Father Gascgoine has been plaguing me for weeks, but I’ve got it all worked out. I enter the arena, pumped up and ready to do this. For a few minutes, everything’s fine, but then I feel that telltale twinge in my hand. Before I know it, the pain’s burning up my arm and into my neck. I have to put the controller down. My poor health has betrayed me again. I’ll never be good enough to beat a Souls game.
Dark Souls is hard. That’s what it’s known for. In a world where the biggest and most successful games are built on promises about playing your own way, Dark Souls is brutal and unrelenting. FromSoftware’s magnum opus demands you take it on its own terms, a strategy that has proved wildly popular; few games can lay claim to a fanbase as passionate and loyal as Dark Souls.
A debate has raged for years over whether or not Dark Souls would benefit from an easy mode. Fans will tell you that no, difficulty is an essential element of the Dark Souls experience, that much of the game’s fun is found in its difficulty, and they have a point. Others, people who have wanted to embrace the series, but derive enjoyment in games from anything other than challenge, believe that Dark Souls would be better off with an easy mode.
Dark Souls joins all-time greats like Doom and Donkey Kong in establishing its own formula. Indie and AAA game developers alike have borrowed heavily from the Souls series, with games like Salt and Sanctuary, Lords of the Fallen, and Nioh. Before we ask ourselves whether Souls should have an easy mode, we need to understand how Souls games work.
Souls works like this: you, the player, have to travel through the game’s world, conquering its challenging bosses. Whenever you defeat an enemy, you earn a currency, called ‘souls,’ or ‘blood echoes,’ or something similar, which you use to purchase upgrades. If you die, you drop your collection of souls and respawn at the last save point, usually a physical location like a bonfire. Crucially, you cannot bank souls. This means that as your power grows, so does the need to explore world, putting yourself at risk, until you have enough souls to purchase more powerful upgrades.
The combat requires you to play thoughtfully. You must keep an eye on your stamina bar, which drains based on your attacks and movement. Draining your stamina at an inopportune time could result in an unfortunate death. Your attacks are usually animation-driven, which means that when you press a button to attack, you cannot break out of the attack animation until it has completed. A properly-timed attack means the difference between life and death in a Souls game.
These mechanics are then set in a world designed to accommodate them. Souls mechanics would never work in a game like The Witcher 3, where players could simply observe enemies and circle around them, avoiding the confrontation entirely. Souls maps, on the other hand, are built with explicit encounter design in mind. An early encounter in Dark Souls 3 features a dragon that will easily roast unsuspecting players. You rush up some stairs, get roasted, die, and start back at the bonfire, wiser now than you were before. As you progress, you discover shortcuts that make traversal significantly easier.
Over time, you learn about the game’s world. What seemed like cruelty at first is playful and mischievous. The world becomes more readable. Dark Souls thrives on initial surprise and eventual mastery. “Git gud,” the fanbase’s mantra, isn’t so much a statement of derision as a description of the player’s evolution. The more you play, the better you become.
One of the big appeals of turn-based games like XCOM and Civilization is the way they convince their players to keep going. “Just one more turn,” you tell yourself, and before you know it, it’s 5 in the morning and you’ve been up all night and have nearly liberated Earth from an alien menace. The Souls games are like that too, but they use difficulty to accomplish the same thing. Get instakilled by a cleverly-placed boss? Before you know it, you’re back at the nearest bonfire. “That was a cheap death,” you tell yourself, “I can totally get past it.”
Dark Souls is a game of mastery, expertly crafting an emotional narrative to accompany your growing skill. Overcoming that seemingly-impossible boss is thrilling. Laughing along at the designer’s jokey ambushes is enjoyable. Souls engages you, draws you in, and delivers some of the best emotional highs in gaming.
It’s unfair to say that Souls is just a hard game; there are thousands of challenging games out there. Dead Rising 2 creates challenge through time management. Ikaruga’s difficulty is based on player reflex. Souls is a game that uses its difficulty tuning to help establish its compelling formula. Without the difficulty, so much of what makes Souls such a brilliant series would be lost.
Despite this, I wish the Souls games had an easy mode, because I can’t play it like you. I want to share in the stories and strategies. I want to beat Father Gascoigne with a Donkey Conga controller and put the video up on YouTube. I want to master the game’s systems. I want to be a part of this passionate and vibrant community so much, but I can’t.
I can’t because my body is shutting down.
Twelve years ago, I got sick. At first, it was just mild fatigue. Doctors said it was some bug that would pass. Family thought it was teenage laziness. Then it got worse. Prior to getting sick, I’d been learning to fly planes. I used to climb regularly at the YMCA. I loved boating--whether it was a 50 mile camping trip or whitewater rafting, I was there. Within months, I’d almost completely lost my ability to function. One doctor told me that, after looking at my lab results, she was amazed I had the strength to get out of bed at all.
It took four years to get a diagnosis, but instead of having some name to give my illness, like cancer or lupus or something, I was told that some genes just didn’t work right. It was a lot more complicated than that, but that’s the gist of it. As a result, I suffer from chronic pain and chronic fatigue, and I also have all the symptoms that come with a severe lack of magnesium, because my body doesn’t absorb it properly.
Chronic fatigue is a deeply misunderstood disease. People don’t get it. If you get cancer or multiple sclerosis, there is some degree of understanding there. Chronic fatigue is much harder to explain. Many people don’t believe it’s real. Some countries classify it as a mental disorder, rather than a physical one. Everything I ever wanted to do in life has been ripped away from me by this illness. Without games writing, which I’m fortunate enough to be able to do from home, I don’t know how I would survive.
During her TED talk on chronic fatigue, documentarian Jennifer Brea pauses and simply states “my brain is not what it used to be.” I know what she means, because I’ve been there. I was so much more than this. Chronic fatigue consumes everything. I’m lucky because for me, there is some degree of hope. With regular treatment, I could go back to living something resembling a normal life, but since the illness limits what jobs I can take, my income is limited, which limits my ability to pay for treatment for my illness. Dealing with my illness is as simple as a potential employer taking a chance on me so I can earn enough to pay for treatment. I don’t know how I’ll ever get to a place where I can afford regular treatment, but I hope that one day I will.
In the meantime, I play games, which are an incredible escape from chronic pain and chronic fatigue. A physical therapist once told me that people like me spend 90% of our attention on keeping pain at bay. Playing games helps offload some of that stress. But, as you can imagine, playing Dark Souls style games for me is a lot harder than it is for most folks, which makes escapism challenging. So many of my friends love finding their Dark Souls groove and playing the game for hours. I’d love to experience that too.
Most of you aren’t likely to have your hands seize up after playing for half an hour, much less be drained for an entire weekend after trying and failing to take down Bloodborne’s Father Gascoigne. An easy mode for me would mean that I could enjoy these games at the same level of effort that you do.
But it’s not that simple. Disability isn’t something most of us talk about openly. Discussing it has a tendency to make people uncomfortable; some even resent having to deal with it. It’s hard to leave the house most days, knowing that most people don’t have the compassion or patience to put up with my illness. Worse still, many people go out of their way to make things worse, justifying it with some weird, self-righteous slant I’ve never understood.
I’ve had employers force me to work in conditions that exacerbated my symptoms because they thought they could convince me that my illness was all in my mind, never mind what the doctor’s notes said. Heck, I got kicked off a podcast; two of my fellow podcasters told me they were doing me a favor. Apparently, cutting off all ties would help me magically get over my illness and manage my life better. When it comes to disability, otherwise good people can do terrible things, going to great lengths to justify their abuse as “for your own good.”
Playing games with my friends or chatting about games on forums, twitter, and Skype gives me the ability to socialize with other people without having to worry about my illness getting in the way. As long as I remain untreated, I’ll be a shut-in, but I can still have human contact through the internet.
While I can talk about my own experiences in great detail, I am far from the only person whose health issues limit gameplay options. Many disabilities limit gameplay. I have a friend with severe arthritis that makes gaming on a console impossible. Two of my friends have epilepsy, which can be triggered by playing certain video games. I’ve met people with color-blindness and deafness; all of these things impact their gameplay experience.
How far should a developer go in ensuring their audience can enjoy their work? Generally, I think it’s best to err on the side of accessibility; if a game can support a color-blind mode, it should. If a designer can ensure that hearing impaired players have good subtitles, their game would benefit from its inclusion.
With my chronic pain and fatigue issues, rapidly mashing buttons in games like Bayonetta or God of War can be physically draining; alternate QTE options would go a long way towards making games more accessible. I was delighted to discover that Dragon Age: Inquisition, a huge, open world game, had an auto-run toggle button. Splatoon offers players a wide variety of playstyles, allowing players to contribute, regardless of ability.
At the same time, I recognize that not every solution is a perfect one; shoot-em-ups like Ikaruga are built to be bright and flashy. Projectiles have to be big and bright enough to dodge. These games can trigger symptoms in epilepsy sufferers, and I don’t think there’s a way to avoid that without fundamentally changing the game’s design.
There is no easy answer, but offering multiple difficulty modes, vision modes, and allowing control customization all go a long way towards keeping games accessible.
Some developers and publishers are going the distance to make sure that disabled gamers are cared for. Microsoft has recently introduced copilot mode, which allows two different controllers to control the same game. The Xbox One Elite controller is great for players with disabilities thanks to its extensive customization options. Unfortunately, Sony does not offer similar disability support, but thanks to devices like Cronusmax Plus, you can use the Xbox One Elite controller on the Playstation 4, or even a mouse and keyboard.
As my health has deteriorated over the past few years, so has my gaming ability. Destiny’s Trials of Osiris event is a competitive multiplayer event where players must win nine matches of five rounds each against an opposing team. I went on a flawless run back in 2015, but I haven’t been since. Controllers are awful for me; playing with them often results in hand cramps and muscle spasms. It’s much less painful to aim with a mouse, so I’ve been eyeing a Cronusmax with an intent to use its mouse and keyboard controls to play Trials of Osiris again.
I was deeply concerned to hear that Jeff Kaplan, Vice President of Blizzard, had argued against the use of these devices. If Kaplan’s shortsighted suggestion became a reality, disabled gamers using assistive technologies would have their consoles rendered useless, not just for Overwatch, but for all games. Kaplan also suggested letting all consoles use mouse and keyboard controls natively, which would be fantastic for disabled gamers, but it’s frustrating to hear that he would even consider the first option.
How would an easy mode in Souls work? It’s simple: let players take a lot more damage before dying. It’s a blast to watch my friends take on the dual-boss fight of Ornstein and Smough, but that fight requires some flawless timing that I can’t always pull off. I tense my muscles when I’m trying to time things perfectly; not having to worry about timing would help me avoid triggering severe pain later on.
Obviously, there are better ways to adjust difficulty, but they would require a lot more work on the developer’s part. Tweaking enemy animations to provide longer ‘tells’ prior to attacking would be a great step. Dark Souls’ movements are animation-based, rather than input-based, which means that once you press a button, your character has to follow through with the animation before making another move. Giving player input priority over animation would let players correct mistakes a lot easier.
To a hardcore Dark Souls player, I’m sure this all sounds like heresy. The suggestions are moot, of course--From is done making Souls games, and it’s unlikely that they would ever patch in an easy mode. Souls is just an example, something I hope that future developers can learn from. I would like to enjoy your favorite game as much as you do, but I can’t, not as it is.
Playing video games literally saved my life. On my worst days, games make life bearable. Games give me community and distraction. So, when it comes to the question of whether Dark Souls have an easy mode, I think the obvious answer is yes. For me, an easy mode would let me play the game like it was meant to be played without worrying about crippling muscle spasms the next day. I just want to enjoy life and spend time with friends; games I can play without agony let me do that.
Ultimately, developers are welcome to do whatever they want to do with the games they want to make. My hope is that this piece initiates a conversation about how to open doors to everyone who wants to play or make video games. Living life with disability is hard mode, and there’s no option to change difficulties. If you have the ability to help us, would you?
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nelrunari · 5 years
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❖ AND THE DREAM CALLS: FIN.
Character Name: Fin Pronouns: He/Him Age: mid-teens by appearance | 19 actual age Trigger Warnings: Death, self harm, abuse, human experimentation, violence
Appearance: 
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boop
Personality:
Fin is easily startled and nervous by people he doesn’t trust. As he quickly becomes timid by the presence of others. Because of this nature he can be rather blunt at times. He is quick to judge others at first right away due to having trust issues, and having his own fears get the better of him. Feels absolutely guilty whenever he hurts someone, so he tries to keep his emotions in check.
Due to having numerous abnormal black scars from being experimented on, Fin is very self-conscious about his own body and tends to cover his body as much as he could. During his time in the facility Fin was given the lack of education and so he doesn’t really know much about certain things. Making him quite naive and illiterate with only being able to read or write basic words. Ends up drawing pictures if he has to write (even though he’s not really good…).
The boy suffers a great deal of PTSD. As he’s sort of triggered whenever someone promises him due to remembering the many times Kiel promised Fin in the facility. He tends to have dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep due to constant nightmares. So making him a little bit jumpy at times. Due to being considered defective, he’s terrified of using his own powers in fear of losing control over himself and killing someone to the point of refusing to his own magic. Any sort of physical contact makes Fin very uncomfortable, so making him refuse giving people a handshake and the like.
Despite his distrustful nature Fin has a hard time getting mad at anyone, and tries to be kind to people even if he tries to push others away from him. He can be rather sweet at times and even considerate of people’s feelings, not wanting to trouble anyone. Sometimes he gets curious about new things, kind of making him a little excited sometimes especially if it’s something he could try it.
Background: The boy grew up at an orphanage with no recollection of what happened to his parents, he thought that they only left the boy there because they no longer want him as do most of the kids in his orphanage. Life for the boy seemed like it was to be going okay and normal for the most part. As long as he was with the people he cared about, he was okay. Then one day a man by the name of Lathan came to the orphanage and adopted him and along with other children who was the same age as him.
Instead of being taken to a loving home, he and the other children who were “adopted” were taken to a facility where they would end up being experimented on. He and the other kids were part Project Seidr, an experiment that pushed human limitations and turning them into a container where they can use magic naturally. From then on, the boy could no longer be called by his name as he was to be forever called Subject 16. It was a nightmare that the boy had really hoped to stay as one, but it was the reality he had to face from then on.
Day in and day out the boy had to go through numerous testings and watched others go through the same. All Subject 16 wanted was the experiments and screams to stop, but the nightmare never did. All it did was break the boy slowly, every single day until he was just a feeble, scared child suffering from experiments. It became even more devastating for the boy after he lost control over his powers and killed two of his friends when he went into Aether/EX Mode the first time. Subject 16 was considered defective because of it.
Most of the scientists thought of putting Subject 16 down as they didn’t want any defective subjects especially when they have no control, but was ultimately saved by being considered a rare test subject due using ice magic. Somewhere along the way the young boy eventually met a test subject who had been isolated from others called Subject 3, who he later named Sigmund.
Eventually the two became friends soon after the ice subject learned the boy never had a single friend and promised Sigmund that he would always be there to be with him so he wouldn’t be alone. Unfortunately it wasn’t one promise he could keep as the scientists decided leave Sigmund isolated once again. He could never understood why the scientists decided now he couldn’t see his friend any longer and felt guilty as he couldn’t do what he had promised. As the years went by, Subject 16 already began to accept that he was never going to leave this place. His hopeless thoughts were overturned by another test subject who called himself, Kiel. The other subject and along with some of his friends plot to escape this nightmare.
Despite how doubtful Subject 16 was initially the boy eventually believed the older boy’s enthusiasm. Everything that came out of Kiel’s mouth made the boy hopeful, but it began to crumble by each passing minute as one by one their friends died before they could even escape.Yet Kiel still had hope of escaping this nightmare and kept on promising Subject 16 they would escape despite it all.
When it was time for the two to escape… it was unsuccessful.
The two were caught before they could even set foot out of their prison. The boys were both punished, and Subject 16 was forced to kill his friend as a punishment. Knowing he wasn’t going to make it out alive even if they tried, Kiel pushed the boy when he refused until he went out of control, and eventually his friend was killed. Despite knowing the consequence of this and knowing how this would traumatize Subject 16, the older boy knew he needed to get his friend out of this place and would be the only one who could. With his dying breath Kiel used his own magic to push Subject 16 to escape the facility.
And so he ran… and never stopped…
Some time after blacking out when Subject 16 could no longer run, he found himself in a cottage owned by a man named Paltiel. The man found the boy passed out in the field out in the snow storm.
Scared and confused where he was and who this stranger is, the test subject lashed out. Subject 16 tried to scratch out the number on the back of his neck so the man wouldn’t see it. Fearful at the thought of this stranger bringing him back when he finally left. The boy finally stopped after Patiel gave him a bandana to wear around his neck and calmed down, after he showed that he meant no harm. Not knowing what kind of life this boy he just found had, and so Patiel decided to take care of him for the time being and taught him the necessary things he needed. Not wanting to keep calling the boy by a number, the man decided to name him, Fin.
Two years later Paltiel brought Fin to his old guild, Volatus where he decided to leave the boy in the hands of his fellow companions. As the man himself couldn’t take care of Fin any longer because he had something important he needed to do. From then on the young boy tries to adjust to his new life while trying to keep who he was and his past a secret, but nightmares of that horrid place continues to haunt him. Making him wonder why did he survive when others didn’t.
Memento: 
Simple twin black daggers given by Paltiel
Natural Abilities:
Glowing eyes and aether aura: Fin’s eyes will glow if he’s highly (anger only) emotional or whenever he’s using magic his eyes would glow and he would emit a icy-blue aura
Ice/Cold Resistance: Fin is tolerant to sub-zero freezing temperatures where it feels like nothing to him, but because of this he generally cannot stand the heat or fire and can be easily burned by fire. He needs to have constant a lower body temperature, making him feel almost as cold as an ice cube.
Regeneration: Regenerate injuries and wounds at a faster rate than a normal person. It also causes Fin to stop aging, and to not get sick until he hits a certain age…
Supernatural speed: Due to being experimented on he’s able to run much faster than a normal person could, however he is physically weak because of it
Defective: High chance of Fin to go out of control, and/or go straight into his Aether/EX Mode
Aether/EX Mode: Like any other test subjects, they are given a boost to their abilities. Going into this causes Fin’s abilities and magic to become twice as powerful. He emits a stronger icy-blue aether aura and the whites of his eyes turn black. Fin’s speed is twice as fast than it usually is. He is able to use Absolute Zero in this state. Once he’s out of this state, he’d be in an exhausted and weakened state for the whole day. However, he has no control over this and tries to never get himself into this.
Freeze: Chance to cause things to freeze with ice magic
Power History:
Absolute Zero: A cold mist would appear in the area, and Fin’s ice magic becomes more devastating as it goes on. The temperature of the area drops continuously until it hits absolute zero and freezes everything in it.
Ice manipulation magic: Fin is able to use all sorts of ice magic due to being experimented on. They can be ice projectiles, an icy blast, ice walls, and etc.
Frost Flowers: Sometimes when he gets bored and ends up making ice that resembles flowers
Extra:
Gets hungry a lot
Sunflowers are his favorite flowers and he likes to grow them, but he isn’t sure why they are his favorite
Fin is illiterate
Has a nightmare disorder
Has haphephobia (fear of physical contact)
He is the main character of my comic that I wanna work on again ;u;
❖ Nelrunari Section ❖
Ward: Polaris
Player Tag: Here
❖ OOC Section ❖
Name/Alias: Box
Contact: @boxsuukoi
Age: 27
Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them
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delsonbundrick97 · 4 years
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