fic title 2: shooting bullets in the dark
Audrey is still grappling with being from a slasher (with being the slasher) after her talk with Al. Not having some kind of special power like the rest of the group doesn't make her safer to be around. Shadow and Al both acknowledge her strength, her capabilities-
And then Trish takes a single step in the dark of the Casino Car and upends everything.
If Audrey is from a Slasher, Shadow the Hedgehog is self described as Action Adventure, Shigeo is clearly a protagonist of something or other, and Al is from fucking Fullmetal Alchemist of all things-
Did Trish ever name what genre she's from? Do any of them really know?
And, more pressingly, what's more important? The one she originally came from, or the one she's just stepped into instead?
Audrey doesn't know anymore. But she does know what she's capable of, that nobody else knows that her gun is out of bullets, and what Noah's told her about horror movies and slashers. If push comes to shove and Trish starts going on a spree?
There's only room for one monster in the building at a time.
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what is the best way to comfort each queen when they are depressed? (I know this question has nothing to do with sex, but I think comforting your partner is part of a good sexual relationship?... Of course you don't have to answer me if this question deviates TOO MUCH from the main topic of this blog.)
I like this question anon, thanks for sending it (and keep sending more if you are willing). No need to worry about it being partly outside of the scope of this blog. Like you stated, comforting a partner is assuredly part of a good and healthy relationship. It can even be argued that it is even more important and fulfilling than sex.
Not much for me to lead into, here it is by queen, so let it comfort you:
Vic gets brought out of her funk by being thought of, and by extention, being given gifts or flowers. She will curl up into herself and be smaller, and the sad expression on her face is utterly soul destroying. Anyone, especially Plato, gets absolutely shattered seeing her downtrodden and meekly hiding. He puts in as much effort as he can to lift her spirits, and that in of itself makes a difference. Seeing others care so deeply about her tends to get her back on track. In addition, someone inviting her to dance freely gets her in a different mindset. She can leave her world for a bit and focus on her favoured pastime.
Rumple tends to be comforted by quiet time with a friend or lover. Just being held closely and taking time to step away from the sometimes loud and tumultuous world around her that she would normally revel in. Since she is so outgoing to begin with, withdrawing to a deeper quiet self for a bit tends to fix things up (in moderation - too much of this is a huge red flag something more dire is wrong with her). Otherwise, a pretty sure fire way to cheer her up is indeed some good and pleasurable escapades with a friend or by herself. Not in a 'orgasms will fix everything' way, but not all that far off from that. Afterwards, she tends to forget or reevaluate her sadness with a post nut clarity. If the first time does not do the trick, repeat attempts never hurt.
Tanto is comforted by talking out and discussing her troubles. Whether or not they can be solved readily is of course a subjective thing, but putting them out in the open helps her cope. Oftentimes, she consults with her brother to get a differing or similar perspective that allows for her to proceed in a conducive way. She does not want her depression to be quashed or undermined by empty words and empathy, so letting her make her path out of it is a good plan. When lost in deep thought, she likes to go for walks on the perimeter of the junkyard to clear her head and reconnect with her spirituality that is disrupted. Being joined by someone close to her deepens that experience.
Cass tends to be upset and angry in a way when she is depressed. It is not that she deals with it poorly by any means, just that she normally brushes off strife and hardship without much issue. A strong minded and willed queen, it takes a lot for her to break under the pressure, and when she does it is from something truly trying of her character. In order to move past it, Cass tends to get her feelings out in a physically gratifying and rough way. She is one to find a target object of choice in the area and tear it to shreds with her claws and teeth. If that does not fully help, she cries in private, and lets her vulnerabilities reveal themselves. Very few have seen her in that state, and that is when something a simple as a hug makes a world of difference. Letting her dispel her negativity through her preferred means keeps Cass level headed.
Deme tends to shy away from those around her and retreat into her den. She had dealt with bouts of depression for a lengthy period of time, and it never quite wanes. Her greatest comfort is her man Munk, and he is a source of immense relief to her. They can discuss whatever is on her mind and try to work through her issues. Physical touch tends to give her the greatest comfort, especially when she is embraced and wrapped up by Munk in his arms. Feeling his body heat and weight on her or around her helps to blow away dark clouds. Otherwise, sometimes it is just a matter of waiting it out to let herself work through it.
Bomba prefers to be comforted with kind words and some meaningful praise. Words about how much someone appreciates her and finds her special beyond what she would normally hear day-to-day. Sort of a vulnerability on their part about how her existence makes their life all the more rewarding and special. However, some humour and tacky jokes to make her laugh tends to go over well on top of the more serious talk. Physical touch is important too, and it all combined makes her feel like she is most appreciated queen around.
Jenny gets the most comfort out of diving headlong into her work keeping the cats in line and training her mice. Counteracting negativity through total distraction. Overstimulation and fanfare to block out her true feelings. Plus, helping others makes her feel much better. If it is all too much, a private dinner for two between her and her mans Busto where they can eat to their hearts content and enjoy some ambiance away from the hectic junkyard works wonders for her mental health.
Jelly internalizes her depression in a way that saves others from worrying about her. She has tells though, and those close to her will start blocking her out from taking on too much responsibility. In the end, AGus will come in behind her and kiss her neck and whisper in her ears sweet words that get her mind off of whatever is bothering her. Typically starting in a way to comfort and ground her, it often turns into something more, as Jelly has a weakness for someone embracing her like that. The words and kisses rile her up, and she cannot help but get out her grievances with some healthy sex. Depending on how she is feeling, she can switch from usually submissive self that looks to be made to feel good, to a slight powerhouse domme that gets out some anger in a physical way.
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There’s a line from American Gods I keep coming back to in relation to Yellowjackets, an observation made early on by Shadow in prison: “The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment.” I keep rotating it in my head in thinking about the six survivors, the roles they occupy in the wilderness, and the way the show depicts them as adults in society.
Because in the wilderness, as in prison, they’re trapped—they’re suffering, they’re traumatized, they’re terrified—but they’re also able to construct very specific boxes to live in. And, in a way, that might make it easier. Cut away the fat, narrow the story down to its base arc. You are no longer the complex young woman who weighs a moral compass before acting. You no longer have the luxury of asking questions. You are a survivor. You have only to get to the next day.
Shauna: the scribe. Lottie: the prophet. Van: the acolyte. Taissa: the skeptic. Misty: the knight. Natalie: the queen. Neat, orderly, the bricks of a new kind of society. And it works in the woods; we know this because these six survive. (Add Travis: the hunter, while you’re at it, because he does make it to adulthood).
But then they’re rescued. And it’s not just lost purpose and PTSD they’re dealing with now, but a loss of that intrinsic identity each built in the woods. How do you go home again? How do you rejoin a so-called civilized world, where all the violence is restricted to a soccer field, to an argument, to your own nightmares?
How does the scribe, the one who wrote it all out in black and white to make sense of the horrors, cope with a world that would actively reject her story? She locks that story away. But she can’t stop turning it over in her head. She can’t forget the details. They’re waiting around every corner. In the husband beside her in bed. In the child she can’t connect with across the table. In the best friend whose parents draw her in, make her the object of their grief, the friend who lives on in every corner of their hometown. She can’t forget, so she tries so hard to write a different kind of story instead, to fool everyone into seeing the soft maternal mask and not the butcher beneath, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.
How does the prophet come back from the religion a desperate group made of her, a group that took her tortured visions, her slipping mental health, and built a hungry need around the very things whittling her down? She builds over the bones. She creates a place out of all that well-intended damage, and she tells herself she’s helping, she’s saving them, she has to save them, because the world is greedy and needs a leader, needs a martyr, needs someone to stand up tall and reassure everyone at the end of the day that they know what’s best. The world, any world, needs someone who will take those blows so the innocent don’t have to. She’s haunted by everyone she didn’t save, by the godhood assigned to her out of misplaced damage, and when the darkness comes knocking again, there is nothing else to do but repeat old rhymes until there is blood on her hands just the same.
How does the acolyte return to a world that cares nothing for the faith of the desperate, the faith that did nothing to save most of her friends, that indeed pushed her to destroy? She runs from it. She dives into things that are safe to believe in, things that rescue lonely girls from rough home lives, things that show a young queer kid there’s still sunshine out there somewhere. She delves into fiction, makes a home inside old stories to which she already knows the endings, coaxes herself away from the belief that damned her and into a cinemascope safety net where the real stuff never has to get in. She teaches herself surface-level interests, she avoids anything she might believe in too deeply, and still she’s dragged back to the place where blood winds up on her hands just the same.
How does the skeptic make peace with the things she knows happened, the things that she did even without meaning to, without realizing? She buries them. She leans hard into a refusal to believe those skeletons could ever crawl back out of the graves she stuffed them into, because belief is in some ways the opposite of control. She doesn’t talk to her wife. She doesn’t talk to anyone. It’s not about what’s underneath the surface, because that’s just a mess, so instead she actively discounts the girl she became in the woods. She makes something new, something rational and orderly, someone who can’t fail. She polishes the picture to a shine, and she stands up straight, the model achievement. She goes about her original plan like it was always going to be that way, and she winds up with blood on her hands just the same.
How does the knight exist in a world with no one to serve, no one to protect, no reason propelling the devastating choices she had grown comfortable making? She rechannels it. She convinces herself she’s the smartest person in the room, the most capable, the most observant. She convinces herself other people’s mysteries are hers to solve, that she is helping in every single action she takes. She makes a career out of assisting the most fragile, the most helpless souls she can find, and she makes a hobby out of patrolling for crimes to solve, and when a chance comes to strap her armor back on and ride into battle, she rejoices in the return to normalcy. She craves that station as someone needed, someone to rely upon in the darkest of hours, and she winds up with blood on her hands because, in a way, she never left the wilderness at all.
How does the queen keep going without a queendom, without a pack, without people to lead past the horrors of tomorrow? She doesn’t. She simply does not know how. She scrounges for something, anything, that will make her feel connected to the world the way that team did. She moves in and out of a world that rejects trauma, punishes the traumatized, heckles the grieving as a spectacle. She finds comfort in the cohesive ritual of rehabilitation, this place where she gets so close to finding herself again, only to stumble when she opens her eyes and sees she’s alone. All those months feeding and guiding and gripping fast to the fight of making it to another day, and she no longer knows how to rest. How to let go without falling. She no longer wears a crown, and she never wanted it in the first place, so how on earth does she survive a world that doesn’t understand the guilt and shame of being made the centerpiece of a specialized environment you can never explain to anyone else? How, how, how do you survive without winding up with blood on your hands just the same?
All six of these girls found, for better or worse, a place in the woods. All six of them found, for better or worse, a reason to get up the next day. For each other. And then they go home, and even if they all stayed close, stayed friends, it’d still be like stepping out of chains for the first time in years. Where do you go? How do you make small choices when every decision for months was life or death? How do you keep the part of yourself stitched so innately into your survival in a world that would scream to see it? How do you do away with the survivor and still keep going?
They brought it back with them. Of course they did. It was the only way.
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Heads up - transandrophobes are gonna get much, MUCH worse before this all settles down. We went from barely known to "transandrophobia truthers" to now being just openly called "cuntboys" and "zippertits". I've been sent anon hate for the last three days and I've blocked them all and not responded, and YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO.
I was there when the acephobes and arophobes were foaming at the fucking mouth and this is transandrophobes getting fucking pissed that their shallow ass feminism is being called out. Keep posting, block liberally, do NOT be afraid of stepping away and taking time for yourselves. You don't owe any fights in expense of your mental health.
Have a good day, y'all, especially those in the spotlight such as black and jewish trans men ✌🏻
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