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workingforitallthetime · 2 years

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I’ve been making an effort to listen to Hailey’s Friday show because I want to support women in sports journalism! But I’m hoping she evolves to stay on track a bit more. As a listener I think it can be a bit frustrating when she seems to jump from topic to topic without finishing her thought/ interrupting her cohost sometimes. Maybe it’s misogynistic of me too to think, well, maybe women tend to speak in less linear ways? (Not sure if this was your frustration or if it was something else)

oh, that’s an interesting pattern to think about! now i’m wondering whether other female podcasters are similarly nonlinear, and the first counterexample to come to mind is shayna goldman and her laser-focused rants. shanya has a point and she is going straight for that point, talking at warp speed, and there is no way alison lukan is gonna get her off track.

…you know what, hailey was similarly persistent in the week’s episode, but the thing she was persistent about was… the coffee shop in dallas that makes the best strawberry matcha lattes. sean kept trying to get her back to the mailbag but she would not be swayed until she had located the name of the coffee shop and told us that name multiple times. so she can be linear i guess but hailey I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR LATTE.

…and actually i guess this brings to mind a story craig custance told on tuesday about the waitress at tipsy mcstaggers loaning him her salad dressing, which was definitely nonlinear but was HILARIOUS, it had character and it had something unexpected and it had a recurring inside joke for regular listeners and i was very amused by it!

…so i guess i don’t mind if the issue is nonlinear, i just really don’t care about hailey’s fucking latte! maybe if i keep listening long enough i will form a parasocial relationship with her like i have with craig and sean and alison (who i literally wave at when i see her around kci because i forget i don’t actually know her) and then i will care about her latte?????

#thank you all for listening to me process this #i want to like her but why is it so hard!!!!!

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strawberry-boogie · 7 years

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THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY OF MARY J. BLIGE

Brooklyn White

If someone would’ve asked me earlier this year if I was a Mary J. Blige fan, I would’ve said yes. No doubt. I’ll be 23 years old this fall, so although I wasn’t exactly allowed to jam secular music, I snuck around and I liked what I heard. Therefore, it’s safe to say that I grew up to her sounds. From peeping performances of “Real Love” on video channels, to having vivid memories of Mary expressing the depth of human emotion in a closet, to hearing “Be Without You” EVERYWHERE in middle school, I definitely have had my fair share of Blige and I’ve enjoyed it in full. Or so I thought.

Truthfully, I didn’t understand much about Mary or the messages she’s shared until a few months ago. I knew that she’d been in a tumultuous relationship with K-Ci Hailey of Jodeci in the early 1990s and I also knew that love, specifically the dark side of it, was a central theme in her work. But, it wasn’t real to me yet. Sure, I liked the sound (Mary hits those notes and the beats are bops), I enjoyed the various looks she’s given over the years, and I was into her narrative on a surface level, but it took me going through my own personal hell and being reborn and researching her life to truly feel the agony and the ecstasy of Mary J. Blige.

(Bare Mary)

Blige was born in the Bronx, New York in early 1971 to a musically gifted mother, Cora, and a physically abusive father. Music was always important to the family though - Blige’s Vietnam-vet father, Thomas, was a funk musician. Thomas left the family when Mary was 4, but she has shared that he would pop back into the picture periodically. My findings revealed that the Blige women moved to Savannah, Georgia for a time, but I am unsure of the exact time period. Cora and her two young daughters then relocated to Yonkers, but unfortunately, they were constantly faced with the mistreatment of others, as well as various other forms of violence. Blige has described how while living in the projects, she would hear women yelling and running from their partners and her family would be chased by people wielding weapons. Mary also began being sexually abused by a caretaker at age 5.

As most artists and dreamers do, Mary soon found a beautiful escape from the horrors of her reality. She began singing in a Pentecostal church (a denomination known for it’s high energy services and heavenly music) and was inspired by the soulful voices of Chaka Khan, Anita Baker, and Milira. Although the music remained in her heart, Blige stopped frequenting church, dropped out of school, and began drinking and using drugs. She was a talented hairdresser, so she also spent her time doing her friends’s hair in her mother’s home. Blige soon caught wind of an opportunity to do karaoke at a nearby mall and went in to drop her rendition of Anita Baker’s smash hit, “Caught Up In The Rapture”. The performance was recorded and eventually found it’s way in the hands of Andre Harrell, the CEO of Uptown Records. Just like that, music had once again saved Mary J’s life.

(Shots of a young Mary)

Now affiliated with Uptown Records, Mary was given the opportunity to sing background vocals for popular acts until she began focusing solely on her debut body of work. In 1991, she was assigned to rising producer Sean “Puffy” Combs and they began crafting a sound that would define Blige and change R&B forever. ‘What’s the 411?’, a reference to Blige’s time as a 4-1-1 operator, combined her smooth, strong mezzo-soprano vocals with hip-hop inspired, new jack swing beats and experimented with the look and sound of what a female R&B vocalist was supposed to be like.

(Combs and Blige, exact date unknown)

Produced primarily by Combs, ‘What’s the 411?’ was released in the summer of 1992 to great reviews from Entertainment Weekly, All Music, and The Rolling Stone Album Guide. Critics praised the blending of genres, Blige’s voice, and her fly, no bullshit attitude, and the project was certified 3x platinum after selling 3 million copies. Singles included: “You Remind Me”, “Real Love”, “Reminisce”, “Sweet Thing” (a cover of Blige’s childhood inspiration, Chaka Khan’s, 1975 cut) and “Love No Limit”. The stunning debut hit the top of Billboard’s Hip Hop/R&B chart, rose to #6 on the Top 200 list, and certainly solidified Blige as a starlet to watch. A remix version of the project was released, but was not as successful, even though the “Reminisce” remix with C.L. Smooth is my jam.

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(Blige performing the “Reminisce” remix for Uptown Unplugged in 1993; Dave Hollister stood in for C.L.)

Around this time, Mary also began a romance with Cedric “KCi” Hailey, a singer who also has roots in the Pentecostal church and was signed to Uptown Records in 1991 (as a member of Jodeci). He was featured on Mary’s debut, sharing vocals on the emotional ballad, “I Don’t Want To Do Anything” and stories of the duo’s fiery affair has allegedly been content for a few of Blige’s recordings. Mary remained relatively quiet about the situation in interviews, but she has discussed the final straw. Apparently, Hailey gave her a ring, and then denied their engagement on a television show in London. Blige was shown the footage of his denial on air and reveals how hurt she was by his behavior. (FOUL!!!!) She kept the creativity alive through it all though and began recording her sophomore effort, ‘My Life’ in the winter of 1993.

‘My Life’, with it’s raw feeling, use of old school soul samples, and serious subject matter, was a “call for help” according to Blige. Shockingly, she didn’t think people would be receptive of it initially. But as fate would have it, the LP, released in late 1994, was not only understood, but well received. Scarred by the events of life, the R&B diva had turned to drugs and drinking again, but was inspired by the support of her fans to begin healing. As someone who has dealt with drugs, experienced sexual abuse, and chosen cruel partners out of self-hate, I comprehend the rockiness of the healing process. It takes time, and sometimes, it’s an ongoing process. You do good, you fuck up, you clean up, you do good, you fuck up...it goes on and on until you become who you want to be. I say this because Blige did not sober up immediately - it took her years to find her strength and love herself the way she needed to be loved. Even after winning her first Grammy for “I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need”, Blige continued to stumble. But she never gave up.

(Blige on the cover on cover of EBONY in January 1998)

Project after project, including 97′s ‘Share My World’, 99′s ‘Mary’, and 2001′s super successful release, ‘No More Drama’, chronicled this process and gave listeners a look into the soul of a superstar. No hateration in this dancery, bitch. Blige’s life began to get better when she started a romance in 2000, with her now soon-to-be-ex, Kendu Isaacs. In the beginning, the couple seemed to be a match made in heaven and Mary has spoken on how she strongly she felt for her first husband. After 16 years though, Blige filed for divorce, stating irreconcilable differences. I now know that cheating is at the heart of the split and I can’t help but wonder what the hell Isaacs is thinking. Spousal support? What? How do you dog MARY JANE BLIGE and then get to HER bag? Mind blowing.

On the more positive side, during their union, Blige gave up drugs and alcohol for good, modified her diet, and gave the world ‘Love & Life’, ‘The Breakthrough’, ‘Growing Pains’, ‘Stronger With Each Tear’, ‘My Life II’, ‘A Mary Christmas, and ‘The London Sessions’. She also co-headlined a tour with Jay-Z in 2008 to support their respective 2007 releases. It remains the best selling male/female hip-hop/r&b tour of all time, grossing over 30 million dollars. Blige also won 8 of her 9 Grammy awards during this time period.

(Blige at the 2017 BET Awards)

In 2017, the media has focused heavily on her divorce from Isaacs (I scrolled through pages trying to find older news that spoke on the good points of their relationship), but that’s how it be. I got a few cosmic clues that Mary J Blige’s story was worth looking into and sharing, the first coming from my mom. When all of the news started to break about Mary’s split, my mom told me to (in so many words) to humanize Blige. “She’s our sister”, my mom said. Facts, Pastor Lewis. She is our sister, and we gotta love her and lift her up. My friend Don, who is kiiiiinda responsible for my most recent MJB spin, also helped me realize a few things about Blige. He showed me “U + Me”, a single from her latest offering, ‘Strength of a Woman’ and a light bulb went off. The stories of violence, the broken relationship with self, the deep desire for real love...I finally understood it and could enjoy it as someone with a past and bright future. I can say that I’m now a true fan because I know that we are reflections of one another. Our agony and ecstasy has become one.

Congratulations to Mary J. Blige for releasing her debut project on this day in 1992. Keep going Mary, I’m behind you.

Peace.

#Mary J Blige #Chaka Khan #Anita Baker #Jodeci #Andre Harrell #Sean Combs #KCi #What's the 411 #music #r&b #the agony and the ecstasy

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