#katie actually posts something of her own for a change

[deamus-crossing]

#animal crossing #acpc #animal crossing pocket camp #acpc blogging #pocket camp #valentines day #animal crossing villager #acpc outfit #acpc screenshot #mine #katie actually posts something of her own for a change

[sunsetkerr]

found this on a prompt list and i’m a sucker for jealously fics

"You're jealous aren't you?" "I'm not jealous."

-✨

jealous much? | sam kerr (arsenal!reader)

sam watched on as you did your post-match interview with her standing at your side. truth be told, sam didn't actually have a problem with katie, but when she was standing that close to you, with her hand so low on your back- she would have a problem with anyone.

you were laughing too hard for sam's liking, laughing at something that katie had said. sure, she knew that katie was a funny girl, always good to be around; but she was ignoring that shit.

"turning green there skip" caitlin came over, bumping sam's hip with her own. sam broke her gaze away for a moment to look at her teammate.

"no," sam shook her off instantly. caitlin tried her best to hold in her laughter, instead letting out a small chuckle. "should watch where you're girlfriend is putting her hands though" sam nodded her head towards katie's placement on your back.

"you're jealous aren't you?" caitlin turned her head and smirked.

"I'm not jealous" sam shook her head, jutting out her lips slightly. "... are you?" sam looked over to caitlin, seeing if she was just as pissed off as she was.

"no sam," caitlin gave her friend a pat on the back, "and you shouldn't be either, they're just friends" she reminded her.

"great friends apparently," sam rolled her eyes, letting her jealousy get its way.

"hey pretty lady," sam was surprised when you and katie made your way over to them both. she instinctively pulled you in close, putting her hand right where katie's had been, taking back her rightful place. "good game," you teased, kissing her cheek. "but not good enough," you whispered in her ear before pulling away.

"mm," she held you tighter as you smirked at her. "just too good for me, hey?" sam tilted her head.

"something like that" you chuckled.

"we'll see you lot later, yeah?" katie said from her spot next to caitlin. you smiled at them both, knowing they just wanted to sneak back to the change rooms where they could finally act like a couple again. "great work today, kerr" katie gave sam a nod and smile as she headed off with caitlin next to her.

"you too," sam held a neutral gaze, which made you narrow yours at her. "what?" sam asked defensively, taking note of the look you were giving her.

"oh my god," you threw your head back in disbelief.

"what?!" she asked again, her voice raising this time.

"you're so jealous!" you walked away with a smile.

"hey, wait!" she called after you, getting ready to defend herself.

even though you were right.. she was so jealous.

#blurb night one • . * . #sam kerr one shot #sam kerr x reader #sam kerr imagine #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso x reader #blurb . * • .

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Disappointment the Main Maggot

Assorted gentlefolk, may I first introduce to you, @good-usernames-were-taken, the chaotic and iconic maggot Valerie. She is currently enabling me in various endeavours of brainrot, which will be revealed shortly.

But before that, this maggot had the great pleasure of participating in an actual maggot race during a biology practical class. And I absolutely have to share the tale with you because, with all due respect, what the fuck. I am writing this post listening to Katy Perry's Dark Horse on loop which I think is very sexy of me. Now gird your loins because it's story time.

A week or so ago, Valerie walked into her biology practical class. It was a day like any other. She did not know her life would be changed until she spotted a tray of live maggots that had not been there the week before.

It turned out that their assignment that class was to change the conditions that the maggots were in, and see how it affected them physically. But how would the students test it?

They decided on a maggot race. Each of them selected a maggot to represent them.

Valerie was thinking strategically. She picked a promising maggot, and to quote her, "I selected a really ugly one and it was really fat and I thought that would give it the upper hand, cause it would block its opponents from the race course."

Maggot-shaming aside, Valerie had full faith in her maggot. So much so that she bet 20 pence on 'this thing'.

The time for the race drew near, and then it had begun, and all the maggots started to move. EXCEPT HERS.

What followed next is best explained in Valerie's own, traumatised, words:

"This fat creature just sat there, looking at me. The emotions running through my head were just... I was so disappointed. Five minute passed. Nothing. The little shit was just staring at me.

And then it does something.

It starts to move.

It moves backwards.

IT MOVES AWAY FROM THE FINISH. MY FAT MAGGOT LANDED LAST. LAST PLACE.

So I called it Disappointment."

Now, maggots of mine, you know I love you all. I do. But we all have to agree that Disappointment is absolute the Maggot. The Main Fucking Event. A generational icon, acting in defiance of science and logic, a true representative of the human condition.

Please find below a sketch of Disappointment the Main Maggot by Valerie, to be hung in the Maggot Hall of Shame.

For the unaware, maggots actually do not have faces. This is an entirely accurate sketch. Thank you Valerie, and Disappointment.

Now I've been informed that I now need to be aware that I have a lot of people reading my content, and act accordingly. So I'm going to add morals to the story!

Remember: Disappointment the Main Maggot says no to following the crowd. It says a fuck you to hustle culture. It holds up a metaphorical middle finger to the System. Disappointment the Main Maggot is out there living its best fat maggot life. It did not care that it was a prime contender with a bodily advantage and there were monetary stakes involved.

Disappointment is Slaying. Be like Disappointment. I'm the Good Omens Mascot. Disappointment is the Maggot Mascot.

We will end this story time with a bit of poetry by Valerie, a haiku, in fact:

Oh Disappointment I put all my faith in you Fat ugly maggot.

#weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #good omens mascot #tumblr stuff #good omens #tumblr #hellsite #beelzebub would be so proud #maggots are fly larvae btw #they grow into flies #just hellsite things #good omens fandom #losing our minds one brainrot at a time #tumblr things #school stories #biology #lab stuff #maggot #maggotblr #should be a thing #maggot tw #how do i even tag this #story time

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Out of curiosity, could be either due to craft or sheer enjoyment, what are your top favourite books?

Okay lowkey I wrote this post & then tumblr ATE it so here it is a little late!! Rachel's All Time Favourite Books (in no particular order):

Cleanness - Garth Greenwell (litfic, ok but this is actually my fave book & today Garth Greenwell lowkey Acknowledged My Presence SOOOO!!! I've read this 4x since August, it's a craft masterpiece)

What Belongs to You - Garth Greenwell (litfic, the book that comes before Cleanness, I'm not as attached to it but it's still FANTASTIC)

A Hundred Lovers - Richie Hofmann (poetry, my fave poetry collection of all time, ALL my epigraphs come from here)

We Do What We Do in the Dark - Michelle Hart (litfic, AMAZINGGG character study & peak into relationship dynamics)

Big Shadow - Marta Balcewicz (litfic, one of my fave books of all time, FANTASTIC teen protagonist in this bildungsroman)

Physical - Andrew McMillan (poetry, AMAZING queer poetry, lots of epigraphs from here too)

Winter in Sokcho - Elisa Shua Desapin (litfic, probably the best start-to-finish narrative I've ever read in my whole life)

If An Egyptian Cannot Speak English - Noor Naga (litfic, THE BEST litfic ending I've ever read, it's UNEXPECTED and something to be STUDIED)

Undoing Hours - Selina Boan (poetry, I feel so grateful for this book as it really helped me reconnect to my Indigenous identity. I met Selina after a LIFE-CHANGING reading & chatted with her, & that conversation drove me to learn more about my family!)

Bitterblue - Kristen Cashore (YA fantasy, this is LITERARY FICTION TO ME I've re-read this like 6 times)

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo (YA fantasy, really fun ensemble cast, THE AUDIOBOOK SLAYS)

Intimations - Alexandra Kleeman (litfic short story collection, some of THE BEST short story collections, my work feels adjacent to this dare I say??)

The Marionettes - Katie Wismer (NA paranormal, this series is sooo tropey and fun like I CAN'T WAIT for the last book, I did like book 2 best but this is the first one & I loved it too!)

Demi-Gods - Eliza Robertson (litfic, this was my fave novel before Cleanness & Eliza is my fave writer & from my alma mater! Read my interview with her!)

Monkey Beach - Eden Robinson (litfic, I read this book in a DAY, it's the most impactful novel I've ever read, she's also from my alma mater!)

How to Pronounce Knife - Souvankham Thammavongsa (litfic short story collection, my fave short story collection OF ALL TIME I learned so MUCH about short stories from this!)

The Girls - Emma Cline (litfic, this was MY writing bible for so long lol, I actually ethically hate how this book treats real murders but Emma Cline is an incredible writer & the best parts of this book are the ones that don't casually repurpose history... I have thoughts...)

History of Wolves - Emily Fridlund (litfic, I need to re-read this NOW but wow, the first half of this is chilling...)

Past Lives, Future Bodies - K-Ming Chang (poetry, not sure if you can still buy this but this is one of THE best collections I own)

The Darkest Minds - Alexandra Bracken (YA dystopian, I love AB SOOO MUCH even now hehe, this was a childhood fave & Fostered is a ripoff so <3)

#asks

[notyour-valentine]

John Shelby & Milf!Reader ~ Headcanon

Note: Too long ago @sonichkkaaascreams snowed into my inbox with the idea of the Shelby!boys x Milf and I do still have an idea for a multi!part series in the back of my mind, I didn't want to keep her waiting so here is John. I also thought of something in regards to Michael, Tommy and Arthur.

I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other. This hasn't been beta'd so I apologise for typos or mistakes. Here is my Masterlist.

Warning: As I am an adult, all my writing I share is unless explicitly stated for adults (18/21+). Expect canon confirming tone, language and depiction of violence. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. 

Request: @sonichkkaaascreams

Wordcount: 580

You lived not too far where John and Martha used to live during the war. She had only been so young and you had pitied her with three young children and husband  away. So you helped out from time to time, especially when her last pregnancy grew difficult. 

So when you see her second, Johnny, who had been named after his father, with bloody knees after playing in the streets you sat him down on your kitchen table, cleaned him up and even offered to stitch his trousers.

During that time, he played with your children. Even though you were a good five years older than Martha, your children were of an age. 

You send him home once you’re done only to have him come by a few days later explaining that the baby was hurting and that they didn’t know what to do “because Aunt Pol’s out”

You found a house in chaos, with the youngest baby teething and screaming the house down. The other two children were as sleep deprived as their father, who really did try, despite the circles under his eyes and the desperation in his voice. 

You pitied her widower, just as you had pitied Martha, with four young children who either did not know or did not remember him and no idea how to really care about them. 

So you help, and once the baby is soothed with cold cloths to chew on and a massage to the gums (not whisky like his father suggested!) you give John the same offer you had given Martha, that your door was open any time. 

It’s slow at first, but then John Shelby shows up at your door more often, whether it be because a child was ill, or him not knowing how to do Katie’s hair and needing your help

In exchange he offers to help in any way he can, though in the most clumsy way possible - “With the heavy lifting…and stuff..and if anyone’s ever bothering you, I can take care of it.”

You grow to like him because, despite everything he has something so many people had lost - lightheartedness

He doesn’t mind crawling around on the floor pretending to be a horse with children, both yours and his, and doesn't mind playing the fool to make them - and you - laugh. 

After four years of war and hardship, it felt so good to laugh again

John, in turn, starts to like you because you don’t judge him for his mistakes but also because you’ve taken away his fear of failing when it came to his children. 

The rest just happens, really. 

One night, John brought liquor and while the children are asleep you get drunk in the kitchen. After half a bottle he insists on teaching you a dance he learnt as a boy when on the road. 

It is chaotic and wild, more twirling and jumping than actual steps, and it ended up with you both crashing to the ground trying to stifle your drunken laughter to not wake the children. 

You’re not doing all too well and so he silences you with other means

For a while, you were worried that things would change, but in fact nothing did, nothing except the fact that John couldn’t seem to be able to keep his hands to himself whenever even the slightest opportunity struck. 

After all, there wasn’t much time with that many children running around, but whatever time they had, he wanted to make good use of

And, of course, you didn’t mind in the slightest

~

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

Taglist

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @watercolorskyy

@books-livre @chlorrox @quarterpastmidnight

#valentineswritings #valentinesheadcanons #john shelby #john shelby headcanon #john shelby x reader #john shelby imagine #john shelby fanfic #peaky blinders #peaky blinders headcanon

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Kinsey Schofield and Enty Lawyer Part 1 (a few nuggets paraphrased by me) by u/daisybeach23

Kinsey Schofield and Enty Lawyer Part 1 (a few nuggets paraphrased by me) Thinks Meghan is trying to “luck” into something like Jessica Alba with Honest and Kim Kardashian with Skims. Both Harry and Meghan known for lack of work ethic. They are desperate for connections. Recall, their original plan was to earn money doing speaking engagements for Big Business. People are interested in people with actual work experience, like Whitney Wolf (co-founder of Tinder)Audible rumor not true. Meghan was manifesting.The “from the behind” photo pic of Harry and Meghan on Halloween is their trademark. They did the same on Netflix show. Agrees with CDAN post that the photo was staged. They are obsessed with security.Enty says Meghan and Harry did not get a standing ovation Katy Perry concert.Kardashian collab is a possibility. Kim K. Does not need help with Skims but she is curious if Meghan can help with click through rate. Enty Lawyer thinks Skims would have same results with many other people who are as popular or more than Meghan.Kinsey says Princess Diana, if alive today, would never have gone on Kardashian show. She did strategically upstage Charles by allowing paparazzi to photograph her. Diana would have attended a Katy Perry or Beyonce concert.Enty Lawyer knows Bill Simmons and Harry utterly failed at Spotify. Couldn’t produce any content at all. Not even a series about veterans, military life. Thinks Harry only wants to eat edibles and mushrooms all day.Meet me at The Lake is not going to make any money for Meghan and Harry because Netflix owns the rights. Netflix is trying to get something from Meghan and Harry. They weren’t coming up with anything good, Meghan wants to be known as a producer. She dreams of being an Oscar nominee. The book isn’t as popular as originally believed. It was a bestseller for two weeks only - vs a Killers of the Flower Moon bestseller over 100 weeks. If this movie is made, it may not even be a hit. Meghan and Harry have no good ideas. The only content they have produced for Netflix that succeeded was their docuseries.Meghan’s brand is failing. The Family Guy skit showed Meghan as a parody. Agrees with Lady Glenconnor that Meghan did not understand what being Royal means. Thought it was another form of celebrity. Thinks Harry just wants to be left alone. Thought he looked miserable at the most recent San Diego event. This event is in his wheelhouse. Thinks it’s ridiculous Meghan changed her clothes at this event. Her wardrobe looked bad and thinks her clothes must be on consignment. The photos at the event looked grainy and terrible.This is part 1 of her talk with Enty Lawyer. Here is link to videohttps://youtu.be/w9Co0IYp5jE?si=6-AWB42BiF4PGucxToodles Sinners! post link: https://ift.tt/J3FNqHn author: daisybeach23 submitted: November 12, 2023 at 09:52PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

#SaintMeghanMarkle #harry and meghan #meghan markle #prince harry #voetsek meghan #sussexes #markled #archewell #megxit #duke and duchess of sussex #duchess of sussex #duchess meghan #duke of sussex #harry and meghan smollett #walmart wallis #harkles #megain #spare by prince harry #fucking grifters #meghan and harry #Heart Of Invictus #Invictus Games #finding freedom #doria ragland #WAAAGH #daisybeach23

[pancake-breakfast]

I could sleep. I could play video games. Or I could Trigun Bookclub.

Trigun Bookclub it is.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 1, Chapters 9-10 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

Chapter 9: Between Wasteland and Sky...

I love that the girls actually comment on how hot and uncomfortable those suits were.

Meryl is right; this is very non-standard for an insurance agent. It's even pushing it for a reporter.

Howwwww does Prada even exist out here?? How did they manage to transfer name brands this far away?? Did Mr. Prada (I know almost nothing about Prada) buy himself a cryogenic stasis chamber on one of the ships??? Where are they getting the materials? Why are they getting the materials?? Are they just... made out of Thomas leather??? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Please apply the previous point to Gucci, and Fendi....

I don't have anything in particular to say about it, but I do like the title page spread.

Ok, what's going on with the proportions on this page. First, Katie only comes up to Vash's waist, and then she's a little below shoulder height when he's only barely slouching? Dude.

I think she asks a legitimate question about the functioning of his pain receptors.

Letting a plant overload is bad. Letting a Plant overload is worse.

My dude Mr. Hat Guy. You recognize the blueprints are valuable. Do NOT step on them! Rude.

Honestly, this shows a lot of maturity from Katie. Even if one is working to make things right, there are still consequences one must accept. And Vash... he seems to accept her decisions in this. Or maybe empathize with them, but I'm getting ahead of things.

I like this guy peeking around the text bubble.

Plant reveal! Though I feel like Vash's line might be misinterpreted to be referring to Katie instead of our new bubble lady friend.

I wonder if Plants are really ever in control. They're already century-old tech that (almost) no one understands, and so they're not really controlled so much as maintained.

Yep, hitting the angel imagery HARD in the manga.

Oooh, she's getting sparkly.

Vash is trying to help, but the fact that he just jumped into things and is like, "You guys do stuff while I take care of something that no one else knows how to take care of," is just creating confusion.

Plant lady is NOT happy....

Oh, these pages are beautiful. I love how calm yet determined Vash is as he approaches her. I love his wings showing, clearly for the reader's sake and not as something anyone around them can see. I love their hands mirroring each other on the glass. I love the way her expression changes from this...

...to this:

Putting the "dead" in "deadline" here, aren't we?

TBH, I LOVE that they gave taking care of the heat valve to Wolfwood in Stampede. I mean, I know he hasn't even shown up yet here in the manga, but having him show up sooner and then push his way through the people to handle it on his own really drives home both how much he's changed from being a "normal" human and how much he's willing to go through for a chance at protecting the orphanage. The... uh... the orphanage that isn't in this scene, either. Because different timelines.

Ok, I can't tell what the heck happened with the steamer. I'm glad I've seen the anime.

Aww, they're both all beat up. But now that Katie is awake, Vash's expression goes from serious to smiling.

Ohhhh, there's what happened with the steamer.

I like that Neon may not like Vash, but now, at least, he respects him.

I love this wide shot. Like, it may be nothing but barren wasteland, but Katie's pose is determined, and the sun has risen over the horizon. There's a lot of hope in it.

Can't not have music be part of the world in Trigun. It's very important. For real. Goes hand in hand with hope.

Hahahaha, Katie getting all defensive. Don't worry. Vash likes the tune, too.

He looks so flustered....

I love the arc coming full circle here with him once again thinking about Rem and why people keep living in spite of everything.

Of course that would make him tear up. And... of course Katie would misinterpret it an take offense. And Vash probably won't explain, because it's complicated and a permanent raw spot in his heart.

It may have arrived two days late, but it ARRIVED.

Chapter 10: Little Arcadia

Huh, I'd heard that this was originally three volumes instead of two. This must be the original volume break.

Ah, Milly and her giant family. Of which she's the youngest. Of course.

Staying up all night writing? No, I can't relate to that at all, why do you ask...

Awww, I love that her family adores her letters.

Good hell. That packet of letters she has is a BRICK.

LOL, Meryl not knowing what to write aside from, "It's dry." Girl. Your life is CRAZY. Tell them about that. Or just tell them about the mundane things, if you don't want them to worry. You can do it. I believe in you.

Oop, Vash's fangs are showing. Why ya gotta get him all flustered like that?

No wonder he's stressed. I'd be stressed if people were using me as a human shield while hurling insults at a gunman, too.

Don't put your finger on the trigger unless you're gonna shoot. That's Guns 101, Mr. Emo Gunman.

Bwa?! Sudden Insurance Girl Attack! x2!

This guy...

I love how Meryl is shouting technically true stuff about how dangerous Vash is while Vash himself is looking pathetic AF. I'm sure he's LOVING everything she's saying about how dangerous he is, too....

Yes, indeed, Old People. Meryl and Milly are definitely... different.

Poor Vash just hiding and gibbering in the bottom of the panel...

Vash may have soup brain, but Milly has ice cream brain. Which I guess is still a kind of soup if you put enough toppings in it and then let it melt for a bit.

"It's nothing really." Yep. Nothing. It just increases their frequency of getting into life-or-death situations and has them constantly having to do their best to mitigate both their charge (who is VERY good at both trouble and sneaking) and other people who aren't positively inclined toward their charge (understandable, but also it's a misunderstanding). NBD.

I like how, for once, Milly and Meryl are being propositioned for bodyguard work instead of Vash.

Aaaand now they're asking Vash.

That risk prevention policy sounds handy. I bet you can slide a lot of usually-unauthorized behavior under there.

Uhhhh... I feel like I should be extra-concerned about something if Vash is concerned about it.

Trees!

I do hope they find a way to weave this story into Stampede...

Plants (lower-case) belong to the people. PLANTS BELONG TO THE PEOPLE!!! Naturally.

Vash probably is genuinely impressed by all this.

That's it. That's the point of the story. That's what Vash is constantly trying to do. And biblically, something something mustard seed growing from being tiny-tiny to something huge and bountiful.

Ooh, rejecting people looking at the picture of his family. There's a story there. Especially considering that this chapter started with Milly writing letters to her own family.

Oh, gods. More Nebraskas....

#just because i know these stories from '98 doesn't mean i can't throw myself whole-heartedly into my first read of the full manga #trigunbookclub #trigun manga #volume 1 #pancake thoughts

[lucyllawless]

katie mcgrath is an absolute shit actress who has never been on anything prominent or objectively good. has she ever even been nominated for anything? get back to me when anyone is willing to put her in something more than CW or Hallmark channel type bulkshit, until then please pleeassee please stop giffing her? your skills are wasted.

I honestly can’t tell if I’m being trolled or if you’re completely serious???

Everyone is allowed to have their opinion, so I won’t try to convince you to change yours. However, I can’t sit by and not defend my girl.

She could star in commercials and I’d still be falling at her feet. She seems like a really interesting, intelligent, and genuinely nice person that I would kill to have a conversation with.

I will gladly post links to scenes where you can see that she does, indeed, have acting skills. All entertainers have done projects that maybe didn’t turn out very good, but that doesn’t mean they’re not talented. Again, I can point out award winning actors that started off in terrible, low-budget stuff. I literally don’t care how “good” her projects are, I enjoy them because she’s on my screen.

Also, I love women. A lot. And she’s fucking hot as hell. No further point needed here.

And one final note…when my mom passed away last year and I couldn’t get out of bed, her “bullshit” projects actually helped cheer me up for a few hours and gave me a distraction.

Once again, I respect everyone’s right to have their own opinion. That’s why everyone can have their own blog and use it to say whatever they like instead of coming onto someone else’s and saying stuff like this.

I’m going to continue more aggressively to “waste my skills” on sharing my admiration for Ms. McGrath for as long as I am on this site.

#normally i would’ve just deleted this but i had a shit day at work and couldn’t let this one slide #if you’re new to my blog terrible media with hot women is my brand #reply

[fandomfaeofveryfewf4cks]

Long post. Fic under the dotted line. Or: ao3: What we are left with

Before the actual fic, here is a long post about why I wrote this fic. Disclaimer: heavy themes of grief.

I know this is a few days late, but I wanted to write something for the 15th Anniversary of the Merlin pilot episode, and it ended up needing a lot more time to get done than I thought.

I shouldn't be surprised though. Aside from most of my writings ending up longer than intended, Merlin is a show that's always meant a lot to me.

It was my introduction to the fandom world, for starters. Merthur was my first OTP and continues to be a favorite of mine. Katie McGrath was my first celebrity crush. There are Merlin fanfics and fanart that have touched my heart in a way not a lot of things have. (See my username). Fandom communities, in turn, helped me feel less alone, especially in a time where loneliness was weighing very heavily on me.

Merlin is also just magic, and capes, and swordfighting, and pretty dresses. Horseriding, dragons, unicorns, curses, poisons, plots, schemes, saving the day, and shenanigans.

Merlin is heartbreak, love, betrayal, violence, peace, oppression, secrets, friendship, hope, and bonds that can not be broken by death and tragedy. Bonds that will not fade in a thousand years.

My brother introduced me to Merlin when I was very young and I fell in love with it instantly. Partially because it meant more time spent with said brother. Episode three scared the shit out of me though, for some reason, and it would be a couple years before I started watching it again. Coincidentally, I started watching it again sometime around when my brother died. So, you can see how that adds a whole other layer of importance to this show for me, not to get too personal.

But, again, I shouldn't be surprised because everything about this show does ultimately feel personal to me. It's why I haven't done much writing or anything with it. I know I just won't really be able to stop. (Hence, how long this post is.)

Nonetheless, I wanted to write something for it. I debated doing a more merthur-based thing, but I ended up doing something mainly centered around Gwen's perspective in the first couple months after Arthur died. The first part is mainly about her. The second part... well, I can't let myself even think about all the grief this show's characters go through without getting dragged into Merlin's grief specifically. I'm not entirely sure why, though I have my theories.

Either way, the second half is more about a healing Gwen trying to help Merlin start healing as well. This is not a happy fic. This is not meant to be an angsty fic. It's really not meant to be anything other than self-indulgent for me. I'm probably subconsciously trying to help myself work through some of my own shit and, you know.. I'm tempted to maybe think that that's okay. I don't talk about grief enough, really.

Sometimes, I've felt like I was faking my grief and didn't deserve to be included in the group of people with "real" grief because I obviously wouldn't know what I was talking about.

I've felt like a ticking time bomb holding in all of my emotions, terrified of the day they explode and possibly hurt whoever is nearby.

I've cried and done everything I could to hide it, screamed with nobody around to hear it, and lied about being fine to people I Never want to lie to.

Merlin tried not to cry around people. Merlin screamed when no one was around to hear it. Merlin lied about being fine to people he Never wanted to lie to.

So did many other characters in Merlin.

I find so many of the characters in Merlin to be beyond relatable. I can scarcely find it funny.

I can't fully explain everything this show has done for me. I can explain that:

It starts with a young warlock making a journey to a place where no one knows him, and he quickly learns it's safer if no one ever knows him fully.

He makes friends anyway, including one who will fundamentally change everything Merlin knows about himself just by existing.

Merlin makes mistakes with consequences.

Everyone makes mistakes with consequences.

The show ends with multiple tragic deaths, a kingdom that is heartbroken (but moves on as they must), and an old warlock, who has spent hundreds of lifetimes being older than he looks and depressed, and who has spent barely a fraction of one lifetime being young and hopeful.

Merlin loses everyone he cares about, and yet, he still has hope. He still lives for Arthur. Now, I'm not expecting anyone to come back from the dead anytime soon. I don't think it's a good idea to want such a thing in real life, either. But if Merlin can hope and live after 1000+ years of loneliness and grief, then how can I not think it's possible for me to get through my equivalents of all that shit?

Oh, and don't get me started on the LGBTQ+ subtext and "magic users are oppressed and have to hide who they are to survive" comparison. That hit me like a goddam freight train even harder than realizing I liked Morgana before AND after she became evil.

Anyway, there's a fic if you want to read it. There's angst, Gwen POV, and everyone trying to get Merlin to eat something and go outside to prevent him developing a resistance to sunlight or something.

Enjoy...?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"What we are left with" or "A Love Letter to the Adventures of Merlin BBC"

The king is dead.

Arthur is dead.

Gwenevere sits on the throne as people ask her about all the things that need to be done in the kingdom. Camelot is under her rule... and her rule alone.

Plenty of people will talk about how "if me from ten years ago saw me now, I wouldn't believe it." Gwen felt like it was beyond understandable for her to feel this was most accurate for her life.

She was born a peasant; a blacksmith's daughter. It seems impossible that she sits on the throne now.

It wasn't long ago that it quite simply and entirely WAS impossible, in fact.

It was a huge change, not only for her, but for all of Camelot, and arguably, the world. It was inevitable that there would be challenges galore, and a number of severe ones at that.

She had known that Arthur was a popular target for people set on hurting Uther, taking over the kingdom, etc. etc.

She had known that being Queen would be far from easy.

But she also knew that Arthur needed her. According to him, Camelot also needed her. There isn't much that Gwen wouldn't do for the people she loves and it isn't like the burden of power doesn't come with upsides.

She lives in a palace with a large bed for her to sleep in and the grandest of rooms that she doesn't have to clean. Many of the things she used to do for herself, like bathing, dressing, and preparing meals, are all done for her now, even if she still has a habit of making the bed when her handmaidens aren't looking.

She doesn't have to wonder what kind of trouble Elyan is up to these days, because he is here, where she can keep a closer on eye on him and worry just a teensy bit less about him.

She has friends who are always there for her. Ones who respect her and defend her with their lives, but will still also laugh with her and give a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, as she still is for them after all these years.

All of these things are still true. Many of these people are still here, but she has never felt so alone.

Morgana betrayed her and the kingdom. She left her and eventually kidnapped her for the sake of warping her mind and manipulating her. They used to have a bond she had thought unbreakable. They had whispered secrets into each other's hair while holding each other after some of Morgana's nightmares. They had inside jokes and knew each other so well that they seemed to have an entire secret language between them that consisted solely of ticks and facial expressions. A crinkle of her nose when a suitor said something unclever or boarish. A raised eyebrow and a slight frown when Arthur was surprisingly (if only momentarily) gallant. A smile when Gwen said something she found amusing.

Gwen hadn't seen that smile in years. Any delusion of seeing it again was lost long ago. But apparently, she still had a sliver of hope left because hearing that she was dead, while in many ways was a relief, also hurt nearly as much as hearing the same fate had met Arthur.

That was both Gweneviere's greatest strength and greatest weakness; she was never really lacking in hope.

Even now, when her hope is arguably facing its biggest challenge yet, it's nowhere near gone.

She wishes she could say the same for Merlin's.

He's barely said a word. In fact, Gwen had hardly seen him at all. He had gone straight to Gaius, who somehow got an explanation out of him, and Merlin was presumably keeping to his room.

She couldn't blame him. If Gwen didn't have the responsibility of being queen, she might have done the same. And even then, she has still taken some time to shed her fair share of tears.

Gwen and Arthur's relationship was always an entirely different matter from Merlin and Arthur's relationship. All three of them knew this in some way. (Really, most of Camelot knew, to a point.)

Gwen and Arthur loved each other. That was never false, but there had been a time when they thought it was a different sort of love than it was. Once their relationship had become known, the people of Camelot thought they were essentially soulmates and destined to be one of the greatest love stories ever told. They weren't entirely wrong, but it wasn't the whole truth.

They could tell each other absolutely anything. Each of them had a great mind that worked well with the other, leading not only to an excellent partnership in rulers of the land, but also to an understanding that meant they could always rely on each other in any moment of need.

Gwen loved Arthur for his bravery and willingness to change himself and the things within his power for the betterness of all. She also loved him for his goofiness and his tragic past. She loved him for never passing personal judgement on her for her station or gender or race. She loved him for seeing her as the person she was, not the servant he was expected to see her as.

And that's exactly one of the reasons why he loved her. She didn't treat him like he was only a royal figure to worship and bend over backwards for. He wasn't just a king. He was her king. Just as she was his queen.

And to be a better king, Arthur needed people who would tell him when he was being conceited or small-minded...

Or a prat.

Merlin was there for Arthur just as much, if not far more so than Gwen was and that did not lessen the love between Gwen and Arthur even a little.

But Merlin had Arthur's heart from the moment they met.

And Arthur had Merlin's.

Many people would see and hear how Merlin blatantly insulted the KING and be baffled when his majesty would respond with Laughter. This servant could call King Arthur a dollophead, a clotpole, a prat, a cabbagehead, and so much more and face little to no repercussions. And this happened regularly. Many times a day, in fact. It was puzzling to many.

But Gwen knew why Arthur rarely, if ever, took offense to Merlin's ribbing and why Merlin would keep coming back only to be given endless chores and musings about his supposed lack of intelligence.

It wasn't because Merlin needed the job or had an obligation to the kingdom, at least not entirely. It wasn't because Arthur needed a servant or still felt he owed Merlin the job as part of a life debt, at least not entirely.

It was because they needed each other. And they both knew it in one way or another. That's why the words either didn't sting like it might seem they should or simply weren't enough to keep each other away. They knew they didn't truly mean it. They knew there was something far more important in their relationship than than there would be in any of their squabbles; even the serious ones.

"A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole."

Gwen would never describe it in those words alone. It's silly to say something so cryptic and simply stated and pretend it explains absolutely everything in complete clarity.

Besides, who could accurately put into words the strength of Arthur and Merlin's love for one another.

Gwen and Arthur were husband and wife. But they were friends first. And when they got married they did so knowing it was best for the kingdom, and not in the way Uther thought, but in the way Queen Gwenevere and King Arthur believed. They were going to prove that change could lead to great things.

Gwen had hoped she wouldn't have to do so alone.

And even if it wasn't fair to her friends to think that she was truly alone, it would be quite some time before she felt otherwise.

The king is dead.

Queen Gwenevere sits on a single throne with a crown on her head, facing her subjects who she would put everything she had, as well as all she'd remember Arthur to be, into leading her people into the time of peace and prosperity that she and Arthur had hoped to see one day.

Arthur is dead.

Nothing would ever be the same. There were going to be some major difficulties in the road ahead, perhaps even some failures. But that will not stop her from trying harder. Arthur's loss will not stop her from loving again or hoping still. Nothing will stop her from being there for her kingdom... and for her friends.

. . . . .

She walked down the halls one step at a time. She smiled at the passers by and thanked those who gave their condolences.

She stopped wearing black a few weeks ago, but there were still dreadful clouds over everyone's hearts, though most of them had found ways to keep going nonetheless.

Except for one heart, it would seem, whose clouds were still striking everything that moved with unforgiving lighting and drowned out every sound with its devastating downpour.

For about two weeks, he hadn't left his room. Then the knights and her had taken turns in visiting him to try and get him to eat something or get some fresh air at the very least.

When he had seen Gwen, he could scarcely do more than sob into her shoulder. And she let her own tears fall as they held each other. He couldn't talk. He didn't utter a single word and even his cries were choked down to the point she was concerned he start actually choking.

He was becoming increasingly unhealthy, but somehow, neither he nor Gaius seemed especially worried about him dying, as strange as it was. He grew frighteningly more skinny as he didn't eat. His skin was paler and dryer, but still he wouldn't move from his bed. He flinched away from any golden light they might try and let in through the window. The dullness that would take over his face when you so much as showed him a glass of water was all beyond worrisome. Yet Gaius would simply say to give him time. Gwen and the knights worried just how much time it would take and whether it would be before or after Merlin starved to death.

After about a month, Gaius had said he'd successfully convinced Merlin to have a few bites of stew and some water for his father figure's sake if not for his own. They all nearly tried to throw a party in celebration. He still wouldn't leave his room, though.

A month later had him out of bed and dressed. He even helped Gaius with his work as best he could, but would not leave the physician's chambers. He talked some, but very little, and hardly above the softest whisper. And he wouldn't stay out of his room for very long. This went on like this for months.

Gwen tried to visit more often, but couldn't stay for very long. There was so much to do. She had understood when Merlin didn't want to be part of the ceremony held in remembering of Arthur, especially since he had already said his goodbyes when it mattered.

But there was so much more to do. Gwen was facing a lot of pushback from the members of the council who didn't believe she had a right to sit on the throne. She was handling that. With plenty of people vouching for her, and her own actions proving to be helping Camelot more and more every day, as well as the majority of Camelot's people loving her and everything she stands for as well as her strength in the face of her husband's death, she's been able to handle it. There's a million other issues that have mostly gotten smaller and smaller as she worked at them and any new issues that came up.

But she still needed Merlin. She still needed her friend. Merlin was one of the few people closest to her that hadn't died or betrayed her. She wasn't going to let him hide himself away forever. And there were still a number of things they needed to talk about.

His magic for one.

So here she was, walking to the physician's chambers ready to get her best friend out in the world again if she had to drag him out.

She knew he'd likely never be the same or even fully happy again without Arthur, but she was determined to remind him that he was so much more than what he was for Arthur: His protector. His servant. His lover. His friend... His real soulmate.

All those things he was to Arthur made up and will always be a huge part of who Merlin is, but Gwen will not let him think he is nothing with Arthur gone.

So she knocks on Gaius' door.

Gaius looks worried when he opens the door, but also almost received as he let's her in and tells her Merlin is in his room.

They share a knowing look before she walks up the steps and carefully opens the door.

When she walks in, she sees Merlin sitting by the fire, holding Ygraine's sigil in his hands and watching the flames shape a person in armour interacting with a person in more common garb. It's almost like the fire is playing Merlin's memories back to him. Gwen only thinks this because she recognizes the scene. The day Arthur made some poor boy run around with knives getting thrown at him, and Merlin stood up to him, with no thought to station or the sorts of power one person could try and use against him.

Gwen knew Merlin had magic by now. Gaius and she had discussed it partially after she figured it out. She had suspected something of the like for a little while, now, in fact.

She had never seen him use magic blatantly and so closely before. She took a breath in surprise and the images in the flames flickered away as Merlin turned to look at her, his eyes still shining gold for just a second before turning back to blue. His face was wet.

Neither of them moved for a moment before Gwen made the choice to slowly walk over and sit beside him. The warlock. The love of her dead husband's life. One of her greatest friends.

"Merlin."

He hadn't broken eye contact with her at all since she came in, but with the sound of her voice, the clouded sheen across his eyes flickered to almost reveal what was behind them. He said nothing back.

"I know, we've been skirting around some very difficult talks these past couple months, and I don't plan to press you on what I'm fairly sure is the most painful one for you, seeing as it is also the most painful one for me." The cloudy sheen grew thicker. You once saw a deep blue when you looked at Merlin. Now it seemed more and more like a stormy gray.

Gwen resumed. "But there is one thing I think we need to talk about sooner rather than later: your magic." (This wasn't entirely true. There wasn't much of a time limit on this as even if they started taking down the anti-magic laws in the system, it would be a very long time before they started to see real change. Nonetheless, it does need to happen and it's a much better conversation to get Merlin out and about again than trying to talk about anything to do with Arthur specifically.)

Surprisingly, his expression stayed stone still. No surprise, no fear, no confusion, nothing. She had figured Gaius told him she knew and in some of her visits to Merlin, she had made implications and questionable comments to subtly let him know that she knew and was not going to have him executed over it. And avoiding addressing it directly for fear of him panicking or shutting down or doing something reckless. So she wasn't expecting him to be totally off-guard.

But to have absolutely no emotional reaction at all was not a good sign.

He continued to say nothing.

"Merlin, please. Nothing is easy anymore, I know. Not talking to your friends. Not getting out of bed. Not even breathing, at times. Believe me, I understand this. Obviously there are parts of what you're going through, that I don't understand, but that's never going to stop me from trying. And the same goes for Gaius, Elyan, Percival, and Leon. We are all here for you. That's what makes us friends is We are all here for each other."

He had looked away around when she talked about wanting to understand and had slowly drifted to looking back at the fire.

"Please look at me, Merlin. I need to know that you're hearing me." She grabbed his arm softly and his eyelids twitched. Slowly, so slowly, he started to move his lips like he was about to speak.

He struggles for a moment before his eyes glow gold and he lowers his head as the fire starts to dance again. This time, it shows a boy playing in the woods. He makes butterflies from nothing and they dance around him and Gwen can almost hear the joyous laughter as the boy plays with his magical creations.

Then another boy appears and the butterflies fly away. The first boy is very still. Then the second boy walks over and, after a moment, he hugs him tightly. The first boy hugs back.

The image shifts. There are two young men, young enough that to still be considered boys, working in fields of grain. The crop is not doing well and the boys look concerned. One of them starts to seem frustrated with the other and gestures to the crops. The other contemplates for a moment. He looks around to see if anyone is looking and then kneels down to get his hands in the dirt.

The figures the fire makes are not as detailed as the people they represent, but they are detailed enough that two spots where the figure's eyes would be glow brighter than the rest of him. The crops flourish and grow tall. The first boy is amazed at what his friend has done and is grabbing his arm excitedly. The second is concerned.

The scene changes again, and now the boys walk alone through a town with multiple figures looking at them and whispering amongst themselves. The boys reach a particular house where a woman waits for them. She brings them inside.

In the house, the woman is talking animatedly. The boys are clearly being scolded by a worried mother.

"They suspected Will was the sorcerer." A cracking voice says quietly next to Gwen.

She immediately looks over to Merlin, who is watching the flames sullenly; tiredly. She waited for him to continue.

He sighed shakily. "When the crops became healthier than would normal even in a good year overnight, that was the last straw for the other villagers. They had suspicions before, but this was undeniable. And Will and I were known to have been in the field during the time frame the crops changed."

"If I had stayed, my mother would've had to watch one or both of us get turned against by the whole village and it wouldn't have been safe for any of us. If someone left mysteriously, and all the suspiciously magical things stopped happening, then they'd be satisfied that the sorcerer wouldn't be bothering them again. It was Will or me, and really, I was the obvious choice."

The fire showed on of the boys with a pack on his back, hugging the woman, then hugging his friend before leaving his home.

"Even if I could've bared to watch Will leave, an outcast to his home, I wouldn't have been able to live without ever using magic again. The suspicions would pick up again sooner or later. So my mother sent me away to Gaius, believing he'd teach me better control of my magic and believing the business of the city would help keep eyes off of me."

The fire shows the boy appearing over a hill, approaching the unmistakable image of Camelot. It seems so bright and hopeful.

Then Merlin is in a cave talking to the Great dragon.

"From the beginning, Kilgarrah would tell me how my destiny was to help Arthur. To protect him and help him become the greatest king the land had ever known. He told me Arthur would unite the lands of Albion and magic would be free once more."

Gwen wasn't sure what to think of this. So she just kept listening.

"It's very difficult to turn away when someone tells you there's a future where you and people like you can be free from persecution and don't have to constantly fear for your life over something you can't help. It's a lot harder to feel like that's possible when you're just a kid from Ealdor, being told this future relies almost entirely on you. That all your power and all your gifts were given to you so that you would bring about a golden age of peace for everyone by keeping one stupid prat alive." He chuckles into a cut off sob at that.

The fire then shows Uther sentencing a warlock to death in front of the poor man's mother. It shows her disappearing in rage.

It shows her throwing a dagger at Arthur's heart just before Merlin slows time to pull Arthur away safely.

Arthur looks surprisingly blurry in the flames, but far more bright and golden than anything else in the scene.

The scenes change much more rapidly now. Merlin using magic to reveal Valiant's magical shield. Merlin using magic to destroy the monster that was poisoning the water. Merlin calling the Great Dragon and ordering him to stop terrorizing Camelot and leave for good. Merlin stopping bandits with falling branches and mysteriously thrown spears. Merlin facing off Cenred and refusing the chance to rule with him.

"I couldn't save everyone."

Merlin meeting a girl under the castle to bring her food and talk with her. That girl turning into a monster and being killed by Arthur. Merlin watching Will die with an arrow in his chest and a lie on his lips for the sake of protecting his friend from Arthur. Merlin stopping Arthur from going through the veil, but being beat to going through it himself by Lancelot. (That scene wasn't quite so detailed and Gwen reached for his shoulder in thanks for that. Whether it was more for her or himself.)

"Or I didn't try hard enough."

Mordred getting thrown in the dungeons with no way to save the love of his life and Merlin doing nothing about it.

Merlin poisoning Morgana.

Gwen had to take a breath for that one. The situation back then had eventually reached her ears and she had eventually forgiven Merlin, but that didn't make it any easier a truth to face. She took her hand away, but stayed close.

"Over time, protecting Arthur with my magic became less and less about bringing about a peaceful future and so much more about just-"

He couldn't finish that sentence, but the fire showed a king in full armour grasping the forearm of his servant. The two of them only seeing each other. Arthur was very clear to see now. You could make out the sharpness of his jaw and crinkles of his eyes. The fire changed colors so his hair and crown would shine gold, his cape deepened to Pendragon red, and his eyes shifting to a piercing blue.

Merlin's figure was much less bright and detailed, but the tinted red of his neckercheif and the faint blue of his eyes were bolder than before. After all, his mission in protecting Arthur may have changed him not always for the better, but his love for Arthur always brought out the best parts of Merlin.

Merlin had kept his face expressionless through most of the story, but not like he was trying to hide his emotions anymore. No, he simply couldn't bring himself to feel anything about the secret of his magic anymore. This secret he's had to keep from almost everyone in his life for so long. He didn't care about it anymore. It wasn't about the magic anymore.

The flames slowly started to fade back to a more expected sort of flickering and grew smaller as it did. Merlin stayed quiet again. Gwen reached out again.

"Did you get to tell him?" She asked oh so softly.

His eyes watered and he nodded. Then he started shaking his head no.

"Not the way I wanted to."

Gwen thought about how beautifully the fire had danced in telling Merlin's story. The way that every time Arthur was shown, he was shown as a golden figure of hope and love doing his best to protect and lead his kingdom. It was meant to be Merlin's story, but it was difficult to focus on much besides Arthur and the beauty Merlin painted him with. Even when he killed Freya, her beauty was far from hidden, and the tragedy was not shyed away from, but Arthur was not the villain of the story. He never would be the villain in Merlin's story. And he wanted Arthur to know that. He wanted time to get Arthur to sit down and hear his side of the story. This story full of lies and secrets and pain that some may hear and think it odd that Merlin, with all his power, wouldn't be fighting against Arthur in order to build the world he wanted himself. This story that is so clearly not one of heroes against villains, or rivalry, but above all, a love story. Merlin loves Arthur more than himself. More than magic. More than anything or anyone. That's what he wanted to show Arthur. That's what he wanted Arthur to know.

Merlin's tears fell more forcefully, and Gwen took him in her arms. She let her tears run freely as well.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He gasped through his cries. Gwen didn't need to ask what he was sorry about. Or who he was sorry to. They both knew.

"I'm sorry too." Gwen replied. Because in the end, there's not much else you can say but that.

Eventually, their emotions would settle, and they'd start talking about what to do next. Having magic would no longer be a crime, but there were so few magic users and beings of magic left that there would need to be a serious effort to avoid the extinction of such people and creatures in the long run.

Merlin wasn't sure he was up to that task. It didn't help that if it was revealed to the court that he, specifically, had magic and had been hiding it for years, it would be difficult for anyone to trust him.

But he also simply didn't have faith that he could keep all of magic from dying when he couldn't even keep Arthur from dying.

Gwen didn't want to put so much pressure on him, especially with few to no signs that it would go well. But she would lift the ban on magic. Gaius could help educate people on how magic really works, and they would spread the word that magic does not make something or someone evil. It simply does what all power does and gives people the opportunity to make choices. Sometimes, people just choose to hurt other people.

But some other times, people will instead choose to help people. That's what Gwen will do with her power. Help people. Help her friends. And with time and persistence in this, things will get better, at least in some ways.

Camelot may not last forever. Magic may die out. Their story may not become the greatest legend ever told. It may even be forgotten. But it will have happened. And, in the end, isn't it worth everything, just to say that it happened?

#merlin bbc #ships are hinted at #merthur #gwen x morgana #merlin #arthur pendragon #gwenevere #queen gwen #gwen pov #angst #following the end of season 5 #gwen and merlin grieving together #merlin is not doing well #gwen is the best person ever #the knights of the round table #personal #fanfic #long post #like seriously #this post got long #merlin 15th anniversary #gwen and merlin friendship #mention of soulmates #hurt/comfort #kind of #don't know how much comfort there really is in this #i love this show #i love these characters #one comment made making fun of kilgarrah's cryptic ass #tears

[thatpiggytrecter]

Ref for my musketty Silver Layne Nightingale!

Now her backstory basically done and maybe I'll post more facts about her later.

Keep reading if you are ready for the really long backstories which full of grammer mistakes oioioioioioioi

19 years ago,Layne Nightingale,later known as a musketeer called Silver Layne Nightingale,was born in a pirate family and had a quite happy time with her parents.

However,her happy life with her parents ended when she was 6 and got separated with her parents in a strom.Luckly enough for her,Layne was adopted by a red coat who had been through the entire Polarian War.

The Marleybonian raised and taught her many things of how to be a fine musketeer,especially on observing targets.Besides the dog also taught Layne something about photography.

4 years later,Layne’s adoptive father retired which means he could spend more time with the little human.All things they enjoyed most was appreciating Marleybonian’s albums of photo he shot,when Layne poined at one of these photo,he would tell her the story behind this photo.

That’s how Layne learnt about how the war ended and how a powefull ally the Armada was to Marleybone in the war.She also learnt the tales of General Rooke,since then,Rooke is a powerful and brave figure in her mind.

As far as Layne was concerned,Rooke is more a hero than the Surpreme Commander is.In her views,Kane just being the one behind Rooke and planning all the things while Rooke is charging ahead in the battlefield and risking his very own life with other soilders,clockworks and living beings.She also daydreamed that she and Rooke will have a chance to fight side by side and support each other,but it just merely an absurd daydream of her after all.

And she wouldn’t think this daydream will come true in a rather different way she ‘d never expected before.

When Layne was 17,she told her adoptive father that she decided to become what her parents were,a musketeer.The old dog respected her will and told her there always a place for her in Marleybone.With an old album gifted by her adoptive father and all the wishes,Layne Nightingale sailed to Port Regal and began her life of being a musketeer on a Marleybonian ship.

 During her time in Port Regal,she heared a rumor that some Armada ships came to Skull Island but she had no iead about why they would come to some places like Skull Island and she never expected that she will come across with one called “Erebus”.

Still,Layne would consider Rooke to be her hero all the time despite she already knew the current Armada might had been change into something unexpected from the savior of the Spiral as they used to be considered.She also began to view the Armada in another point of views for their deeds in other worlds.

Several days ago,the musketeer’s ordinary life in Port Regal was ended in a way that Layne could never think of.She would never think she will actually meet a clockwork face to face,not to mention one of the Elites.But there she was,she directly met with the spymaster after being arrested.She heared this hideous clockwork before therefore Layne started to worry about her fate in the cell she in.

When she was thinking about what to do in the cell,someone blew up the cell and rushed in.Layne soon realized who this person was:a privateer called Reliable Katie.

Without any hesitation,Katie and Layne rushed to the board,they happened to meet with Deacon who wanted to stop them.However,when Boochbeared’s ship boarded Erebus,everything Deacon tried was in vain.

After their arrival in Skull Island,Katie told Layne she will rescue more pirates with Boochbeared and left.Layne had no iead about the privateer’s motivation and her next move,but she believed they will meet again soon.

Then she saw a swashbuckler and a buccaneer were walking toward her.For once,Layne felt something familiar with this swashbuckler as if she saw her somewhere even before she came to Port Regal but she couldn’t tell if it just an illusion of her.

Some sidenotes:

-Layne would never consider Deacon and Rooke are brothers but they do have some similarities.

-Really?:it seems Katie was the one who rescued all her future crewmates with the help from Boochbeared and Mr.Gandry.

-Melissa is the last one Katie rescued,maybe I will talk about this in her backstory later.

-The word “Silver” of her title is for her will be the one silver bullet to strike the evil down.(of course she won’t realize this until the moment comes)

-Even doubted Vanessa at the first sight and still doubting a lot,Layne still considers Vanessa as a crewmate of her.

-In some alternative universes,Layne is a Marleybonian officer who would assist the pirate crew in Book13 event and face Rooke himself on her very own.

#pirate101 #pirate101 oc #silvered:Layne #random doodle #it already done days ago but i choose to post it on tumblr when i got more oioioioioioi

[kismetharborapps]

ooc information

name: Maddie

preferred pronouns: she/her

age: 30

timezone: CST

activity level: I'm here daily! And I'll always let you know if I ever can't be on.

triggers: N/A

anything else?: N/A

character information

name: Carson Sanchez

faceclaim: Jenna Ortega

gender & pronouns: cis female, she/her

age: 21

birthday: May 20, 2002

place of birth: Kismet Harbor, Oregon

occupation: Lead singer of Red December

neighborhood: Downtown

time since arriving in kismet harbor: Since birth, minus two years spent in Los Angeles from age 18 to 20.

filling a wanted connection?: Cousin of the Lopez-Ruiz kids

biography: 

Carson was always quite the rule-breaker. From an earlier age, she challenged social norms. During recess, when other kids were running around the playground, Carson was keeping to herself, often with a book in hand. Her parents actually felt some concern at her lack of interest in socializing. But maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. After all, she wasn't easily influenced by others. No, she was always her own person. No one could complain about that, could they?

Well, maybe her teachers could. Carson was a very strong-willed child. If she didn't agree with something, well, she'd damn sure let you know about it. That, of course, drove her teachers insane. Why couldn't little Carson Sanchez just shut up and be agreeable for once?

Well, what would be the fun in that?

As she got a little older, she discovered a new love too: music. She was eight when she started learning to play guitar and by the time she was nine and a half, she was practically a pro. She fell in love with the punk/alternative/metal scene and her clothes and her music reflected that. She earned some odd looks from her peers for wearing all black, but fortunately for her, she didn't give a damn what anyone thought. The whole world could judge her and she wouldn't change for anyone.

But more than anything, she knew she wanted music to be her career. She began posting covers and original songs on Youtube when she was sixteen. A few months later, she and four other music-loving classmates created a punk band that they named Red December. The name? Truthfully, Carson just thought of the famous Christmas color. Red's a cool color and Christmas is December, therefore Red December was born.

Once the teens had graduated from high school, they set off to Los Angeles to pursue a record deal. But they struggled, more than Carson ever wants to admit. Perhaps they went against the mainstream too much. The thing is, Carson has never cared about making it onto the Top 40. She wants to be a rockstar, a real rockstar.

After two years, Carson and her bandmates could no longer deal with the overall fakeness of Hollywood, or its cutthroat nature. So together they packed their bags and returned to Kismet Harbor, a place where they can be themselves and make the music they want to make.

Because it's better to be honest and be rejected by the world, than to live a lie and be accepted by the world.

other: You can have a look at Katie's account! And I did make Carson a Pinterest: https://pin.it/191KR3EDv

pets: N/A (for now!)

town activities: Dear Beloved, Dungeons and Dragons, Open Mic, The Renegades

draw of luck: Yes!

#submission

[matsukawamatt]

Melbourne

I said I probably wouldn't post here, and I don't plan on posting too much but figured I'd give a bit of a life update. I guess not so much has changed, but I have finally settled down in Melbourne -- a suburb called Blackburn -- and I am looking for work and trying to find my own peace and figure myself out. I'm not as depressed as I was, well, I AM depressed but just not so low. Its still pretty bad, objectively, but I think the low point may be past. I'm trying to find new hobbies and things I enjoy.

In the past few months I've been reading a lot. Not as much as I'd like to, as I can't really focus and my attention span has turned to shit, but reading nonetheless. My New Year's was pretty good and I had a lot of fun. I sort of just forgot the world around me and enjoyed myself for a while. Paid $200 for tickets to this 1920's themed party with burlesque and jazz. Talked to quite a few people and made some acquantainces. Two minutes before midnight a girl I was talking to, Sarah, probably mid-forties, asked me to make out with her for the new year. So I did just that. Pretty funny way to ring in 2024. I took a picture with the burlesque chicks, and "went outside for air", where I swiftly made my way back to the hotel so that I wouldn't have to give my number or contact info. Of course, I messaged Emily, as I have for the past 6 years (I messaged her Happy New Year even when I was with Katie last year, actually.) She responded a quick 24 hours later. I'm still pretty destroyed about this loss. I'm more distraught than I've ever been for the loss of any friendship or relationship. I guess losing Emily was something that I never prepared myself for. I think I've mentioned it before, but we spoke nearly every day for 6 years (minus the time with Katie, where it was very sporadic messaging). I still remember how upset she was when I opened up to her about my relationship with her. Maybe thats when our trust between eachother began to erode? I don't think I've told any person, woman or man, about as much as I have with Emily. For as long as I've had this Tumblr, she was there and we spent many long nights talking on facetime. I can't help but think of all of these pleasant memories. Unfortunately now, that is all over with. Maybe its just temporary, or maybe it is permanent, but at least I have our long-distance memories. I had hoped and prayed that we would spend this new years together, or really any part of Australian summer together, but I've accepted in the past few days that this is not going to happen. It can't really happen. I feel emotionless writing this, and I think that's a good thing. Up until new years, if I were to write this, I'd probably be holding back tears with each press of the keyboard.

I've come to also realize, or think, that I was actually nothing to Emily. We met in Melbourne at the Shrine of Rememberance once in 2017, and from then on we were in eachother's lives virtually. I don't believe I was ever real to her. As much as she would jokingly tell me she would marry me or loved me, I think part of me wanted that to be true. When she invited me to stay with her and told her family about me, especially the things her nan said to her, I really wanted things to happen with her. I thought she cared about me -- and maybe she does? I don't know. Maybe I've been too much. I have never been more certain of the fact that I am in love with this girl. I have been for years, and I think thats why I cut communication off when I was with Katie. In my heart, I knew I wanted her. And now that I'm in Australia, alone, and spending the holidays pretending it is just another day, I am forced to try not to think of her. But how is that possible? I tell everyone I came here to have a working holiday, but I can't help but truly feel that I came here to be with her. To spend time with her after all of those years of rhetoric. Its quite sad. I mean, she wouldn't even be open with me when we arrived in Parkes and she just got real... nasty. Again, no sense in trying to analyze any of this at all. It just sucks. The other day I got drunk and tried talking to her (on Christmas) I called and texted and she basically told me that this is why she needs space. I get it, but I was alone on a day that we had talked about spending together for years? How was I not supposed to feel anything? I don't think its wrong for me to want to talk to her? All of these things I'm writing should've been processed already and I fear I'm getting stuck in this loop. How long will I be stuck here? In most other relationships, I'd have moved on from most of this by now. But THIS long? Its not good. I think part of me wants her to be this bad person, but I KNOW she is not a bad person. Which leads me to believe that I am the problem. But, how? I've thought a lot about this and I know sometimes I am just too much, but I can't be the whole problem. I keep blaming myself. I even asked her if she could recognize that it wasn't all me that caused our falling out and she refused to admit any fault. Saying she had done nothing wrong in the past month and a half, since Parkes, but request space. I've given her space and then SHE reached out re-uninviting me to Christmas. I didn't talk to her for nearly two weeks -- and I know that doesn't sound very long -- but when you're in a country all by yourself, jobless, and homeless, there really isnt much else to think about. I fucked off around New South Wales for weeks, just waiting around to see what would happen with her. I was going to settle in Wollongong so that I could be close to her, and then this falls apart so what was the next plan? I had none. I just decided to come back to the city that made me most happy -- and unfortunately, that city is where I met HER. So she STILL remains on my mind. How fucked up is that? On a seperate point, my housemates are complete fucking weirdos, so thats great too. Well, Joel isn't so bad, but he's definitely a bit awkward. All I have to look forward to right now is finding some good stable work and my Noah Kahan concert on the 17th. I don't even have much interest in meeting anyone. I'm just real tired man. I need to take these social media detoxes seriously. I'm using Tumblr just for a seperate part of rambling and journalling so it doesn't even really count. I'd post some photos but I really can't be fucked to pick my phone up. Just sticking with the laptop for now. Will these posts ever get more positive? I need to figure this shit out man.

[thesearchforbluejello]

Not for nothing but Janet and Sam raising Cassie was basically a completely wasted opportunity. I realize we got Rite of Passage, which frankly I hated then and still hate now because it leans way too much on the "bitchy teenager" trope instead of building any actual character for Cassie, and we know Cassie is why Sam left the SGC before s9, and obviously the show never really did slice of life stuff except with Pete which automatically revoked their right to ever do any slice of life stuff again but I still feel like it could have been a much more interesting thing to explore.

None of SG-1 has anything to lose, really: Daniel has no family besides Nick, who's estranged and then gone; Jack has no one; Teal'c has his family and Bra'tac but he's already committed to potentially never seeing them again. Sam has Jacob, but he's off doing his own thing. How would the show have changed if Sam's relationship with Cassie was cast as something to lose?

We know that SG-1 is quite involved with raising Cassie: Jack GIVES HER A DOG for crying out loud. And of course Cassie's middle school teacher knows Jack by name (cf. Learning Curve), and Sam in particular is very involved, obviously, visiting when she can (cf. In The Line of Duty, although I don't know when exactly this was supposed to air; the shot of Sam in the gate room from 1x02 and beyond is from that episode, which aired as 2x02, which presumably is why they were able to get Katie Stuart for that episode but not again in s5, but I digress. My point is that we can't assume when that was actually supposed to be because it's out of order so presumably it could have meant Sam was involved short term EXCEPT) and planning fun weekend activities (cf. Urgo). Sam buys Cassie's cake in Rite of Passage and we know they regularly play chess, and we know that Sam specifically left the SGC for Cassie between the original finale and S9 (which was actually an excuse for AT's maternity leave, but).

Every time I rewatch, though, I find myself so profoundly frustrated with the fact that Cassie is never there when it's important. Like, sure, maybe they couldn't get either of the actresses. But there's this fun thing in television called dialogue, and they should have taken notes from Leverage: Redemption on talking about an absent character (look I know one predates the other by more than twenty years, but you get it).

One of the things that this show was so good at was the plots with kids, but most of the kids end up going home or going elsewhere (Merrin and Charlie, respectively, for instance but also I am once again asking what the hell happened to Loran?) and Cassie stays. They let Cassie back on base during In the Line of Duty, so where is she in Entity, or even Death Knell, Grace, or Line in the Sand? Where is she in Meridian? Did she ever meet Jonas? Or Cam or Vala? What was her opinion of Pete? Where did she go after Heroes? (She may have been old enough to be in college, maybe, but still.)

I realize there are always unanswered questions (like what happened to Satterfield? Did Haley end up working on an SG team? Did Grogan get reassigned?) but I just have so many specifically about Cassie, and by extension her relationship with Sam, and by another extension Sam and Janet's friendship.

Anyway, this is more of a ramble than a coherent set of thoughts but basically: I realize that slice of life stuff wasn't this show's schtick, and I think that suits it perfectly well, but I have so many unanswered questions about Cassie's post-Singuarity life that I do actually think should have been addressed more frequently in one-off dialogue.

#that was supposed to be a two sentence post but this has been bothering me for about twenty years and I'll stay frustrated about it okay #jo's permament stargate rewatch #in case you couldn't tell Singularity has been one of my favorite episodes since I was but a wee lass #it's just SO. GOOD.