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#kallistan
anakin-pilled · 2 months
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𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 - anakin skywalker x fem! reader (part four)
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pairing: anakin skywalker x fem! reader
wordcount: 7.1k
warnings: no use of y/n, alchohol consumption, reader gets drunk/tipsy, rushed ending
rating: 18+
author's note: i literally didn't mean for this to come out so late. life got in the way (again). i was super excited to write this chapter but the more i wrote it the more i was like UGH lowkey don't like the way this turned out but i hope you enjoy anyway! when will reader and anakin finally fuck? reblogs, comments, and likes are greatly appreciated xx
side note: i read on wookiepedia that in the sw universe, they refer to alcohol as "hooch" so i used that in the story...not sure if i like it but i wanted it to be immersive lol
creds to saradika for the divider!
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The party was in full swing by the time you and Anakin arrived at the party. He knew Coruscant’s rich and famous lived lavish, but he would’ve never imagined attending a party of this splendor. A live jizz band was playing in one corner of the room, their shiny instruments reflecting off the chandelier lights. People of all species flocked to the living room, where protocol droids served an abundance of hooch and fanciful hor d’ourves. The people, dressed in the latest galactic fashion trends, laughed and danced with each other like they had no care in the world. Like there wasn’t a war happening throughout the galaxy–a war that threatened the very comfortability of their lives. Where there was much pain and turmoil in the galaxy, there was none in this room. Anakin was disgusted by this.  
The host, an acquaintance named Jackson Wang, lived in an expensive high-rise located in Coruscant’s entertainment district. The three-story apartment was built with the most expensive materials in the galaxy. The windows were composed of reinforced clari-crystalline, and the floor was constructed out of white Wayland marble embedded with specks of Kallistan gems. Gold, shimmery streamers decorated the grandiose columns supporting the apartment, and there was bright, colorful plasto confetti strewn across the floor. The very presence of this room went against the Jedi code–it was an attachment to wealth and materialism. Even if Anakin never joined the Jedi, he still would have found this party revolting. How could people live like this when there was still so much wrong with the galaxy? Slavery, poverty, species discrimination, etc. were all happening under the Republic. Being born a slave radicalized Anakin. It was harder for him to ignore the galaxy’s rampant class differences. It proved to him even further that politicians could not be trusted–because how could they allow such a disparity to run rampant?
Anakin’s eyebrows furrowed as he took in the sight before him. You weren’t sure what he was thinking, but the creases between his eyebrows told you it was nothing positive. You noticed Anakin looked out of place in his humble, dark Jedi attire. You knew this wasn’t his scene, and he might feel out of place, but Anakin insisted on coming. What business did a Jedi have doing at a party like this? “For your protection,” he defended.
“You okay there? You look like you’re about to shoot lightsabers out of your eyes with that glare.” It was true. Anakin’s eyes were a dark, stormy blue right now.
You thought he would have laughed at your stupid joke, but Anakin’s glare only became directed towards you. You shivered in response. His glare was intense which was exacerbated by the scar on his face. His presence exuded authority, it was raw and powerful. You would gladly give into it every time.
“I’m fine. I think this party is ridiculous,” Anakin replied. “Look at all the food just sitting there, no one is eating it, and they’re ignoring the servers. The least they can do is acknowledge the servers. Do you know how many planets are starving out there? Entire systems wiped out by the Separatists? Just for the rich to parade here and let good food spoil.” He scoffed at the end of his sentence.
You had no idea Anakin would feel so strongly about this. However, what Anakin was saying made complete sense. You felt guilty–even if he wasn’t directly speaking about you, these were still your “people.” You always tried your best to not be wasteful and treat all workers respectfully. Even so, it couldn’t be denied that rich people, more often than not, were the opposite of you.
“I agree with you. I don’t know why they order so much food, especially when they know that most people will be too busy drinking, talking, or dancing. Why don’t we make sure that the food doesn’t go to waste by having some?” you offered as a solution. That wasn’t Anakin’s point, but he conceded anyway. The both of you walked towards a table where a pretty spread of food sat like decoration.
After fixing yourselves a small plate of food, you began speaking again. “Thank you, Anakin. You and the Jedi are doing your best to ensure the safety of the Republic and all of the galaxy’s inhabitants. We shouldn’t be allowed to parade here, not while others are struggling to survive.”
“I didn’t intend to insult you. It’s just an observation that I made. You can’t help but become cynical after witnessing war crimes being performed on innocent people.” Anakin was slightly embarrassed. He didn’t mean to group you in with everyone else, especially after you and your team have graciously treated him these last few rotations. But still, he meant what he said.
“How is it being on the battlefield? It must be so hard to be in constant chaos. Anakin, you are so brave, ” you innocently wondered.
Anakin didn’t know how to describe it to a civilian, mainly because Anakin rarely found himself around civilians nowadays. The only civilians he encountered were those who needed saving, those who understood the brutality of war. Anakin knew that not everyone in the Jedi organization agreed with their current roles under the Republic. Some Jedi believed that the Republic was interfering too much with Jedi affairs and that the Jedi should relinquish their roles as generals. Others, including Anakin, believed that the Jedi were too constrained by the Jedi principles and teachings to effectively fight in this war. Though there were many wins for the Republic, almost every loss encountered could’ve been a win, if only the Jedi could see past the teachings for a moment. On top of that, the Senate’s constant feuding and bickering rendered it useless. They could barely fund the war at the moment, hence a select group of Senators decided to host a concert charity benefit to raise credits for the war effort. There was so much uncertainty. If Anakin was certain about one thing, however, it’s that he belonged on the battlefield.
“I hate war…but I love being on the battlefield.” Anakin hesitated for a moment before continuing, “I was a slave, along with my mother, before the Jedi found me. I had only heard of the Jedi. They were mythical to me, they sounded too good to be true.” Anakin never thought he would be revealing this information to another soul, especially not in the middle of a party with one of the galaxy’s biggest singers. 
Your breath slightly hitched at Anakin’s confession. A part of your heart shattered, and an overwhelming feeling of empathy and sadness washed over you. Anakin felt the shift in your energy. 
“Being a Jedi is an honor, and being on the battlefield allows me to be the type of Jedi that I pictured as a young boy. As a slave, I was subjected to my former owner’s rule, never allowed to act on my own. On the battlefield, I act on my own and make my own decisions. I’m using my power for the greater good, ensuring that the galaxy doesn’t tumble further into chaos and destruction. I can be myself on the battlefield. There’s a sense of independence from everything when it’s just you, your padawan, and your legion. It’s a reminder of how far I have come in life,” Anakin finished with a hard edge to his voice.
“Anakin…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that you used to be a slave,” You said gently as if the words you spoke were made of glass. Who would have thought that one of the galaxy’s most powerful Jedi used to be a slave? Hearing those words come from Anakin’s mouth shocked you. 
“Don’t apologize. You couldn’t have known.” Anakin didn’t want you to feel bad. He looked off to the side, suddenly feeling like his flustered nineteen-year-old self again. This wasn’t information he easily divulged, nonetheless to someone he met only a few rotations ago. Anakin hoped it wouldn’t change your view of him. 
You grabbed Anakin’s hand and reassuringly rubbed your thumb on the top of his hand. Your thumb felt the ridges and lines of his veins. “You didn’t deserve that. Neither did your mother–no one ever deserves to be a slave. I’m picturing the young version of you, and my heart is breaking. You were just a child, too innocent and pure to be in that situation. I don’t want you to think I’m pitying you, Anakin. If anything, I think you’re even braver now after learning about your past. Thank you for sharing that with me. It couldn’t have been easy.”
What you were saying was the truth. An image of a small Anakin flashed through your brain. You imagined he had golden hair that illuminated his face like a halo and brilliant blue eyes that contrasted against the rugged, red monochromatic terrain of Tatooine. If Anakin looked like a god now, he must’ve looked like a cherub when he was little. Your awe for Anakin grew tenfold.
 He had been dealt life’s shittiest stack of cards and managed to overcome it all. 
It was silent for a moment. It’s not that Anakin didn’t want to respond, but he didn’t know how to respond, so he simply nodded. Anakin couldn’t verbalize any words. He felt vulnerable right now. It was as if Anakin responded to your words, it would solidify the fact that he shared one of his deepest secrets with you. He wasn’t ready to confront what that meant, so he stayed silent. 
 You took note of Anakin’s silence and shifted the conversation to yourself. You understood how daunting it was to reveal a part of yourself that you often kept hidden away.
“Per my contract, I’m not allowed to voice my opinion on anything polarizing. I can’t speak on politics, the economy, war. It was half a shock to the public when the media announced that I would be headlining the benefit concert. On one hand, it made sense because I’m one of the more popular artists in the galaxy right now. On the other hand, people were shocked I was taking a political stance, even if indirectly,” you explained to Anakin. You grabbed a glass of the ambrosia-colored liquid that was stationed next to you and Anakin. It was bitter but had subtle notes of sweetness. You took a few sips before continuing.
“It’s unfortunate that it has to be that way. There are so many times when I wished I could’ve spoken up and used my influence for something that matters. Sometimes I feel like a coward because I see everything happening in the galaxy and I’m voiceless. The truth is I am a coward, just like every other person in this room. We have all this wealth and influence, just to do what? Let it sit in a bank account or spend it carelessly? It’s pathetic. We should be doing more.”  Just because you weren’t allowed to publicly speak about certain topics didn’t mean you had no opinions on it altogether. 
You took a few more sips of your drink before finishing it. You placed the glass back on the tabletop and gave Anakin a sheepish smile, “I’m rambling now, aren’t I? Sorry about that. I ramble when I get nervous. Anyway, my point is I’m glad that I took the opportunity to headline the benefit. I think my team was slightly against it at first, but after some convincing from the chancellor, they changed their minds and allowed me to do it. People like you, those who have actually witnessed the spoils of war, remind me of why it’s so important to take a stand. I don’t want to be voiceless anymore–not at such a crucial time in politics. If I can’t do the actual fighting, then I’m glad to support those who do by lending my talents. I’ll milk those suckers for all the credits they have.” 
Anakin chuckled at your last sentence. He appreciated your sentiment. “Not many can say the same as you. Thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me, Anakin. I’m just doing what any person in my position should do. I probably pissed off some people, but oh well.”
You heard your name being called from the side. Your conversation was interrupted by your friend, Cressida, a fashion designer from a small mid-rim planet who made a name for herself through her unique and stylish designs. Her skin was dyed pink (you knew her natural skin tone was a lifeless pale), and her hair was coiffed in an elaborate bun with pastel ringlets falling over and small curls sticking to the nape of her neck, appearing messy yet sensual. She came from a planet inhabited by humanoids known for their allure caused by specially produced pheromones. 
“Cressida, it’s so lovely to see you! How’s your latest line going?” you faked a smile before greeting her with two kisses on either side of her cheek. Your mother always told you to play nice since playing dirty resulted in getting burned. 
“Oh you know, the critics are having a heyday with it. They say I might even win my first fashion award. And who is this? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before at one of these parties. Our little singer here rarely brings anyone around anymore,” Cressida stated. Her bright green eyes landed on Anakin as if he was something she wanted to lay claim to. 
“Friend” was an overstatement. You had known Cressida for around two years, but you wouldn’t consider her a close friend. She was someone you partied with to have fun–a member of your social circle but not your inner circle. You had yet to determine her trustworthiness. While Cressida had never crossed you directly, her catty remarks now and then signaled a radar in your brain. 
“This is Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi assigned to watch over me for the upcoming benefit concert,” you explained.
Cressida’s eyes widened slightly. “The Anakin Skywalker? My, you’re even more handsome in person than in the holograms they project on the billboards. I almost didn’t recognize you with that serious look on your face. You shouldn’t glare so much, it’ll only age you faster.” 
The fake smile on your face was beginning to hurt. Why did it annoy you so much that she found Anakin handsome? It was an objective fact that most people would agree with. You ignored the nagging feeling in your stomach. You were here to relax your mind and push away the racing thoughts of Anakin from your mind. If Cressida wanted to flirt with Anakin, so be it. It’s not like he could do anything about it, even if he wanted to. Anakin was a temporary occurrence in your life, something that would only last a short time, just to be forgotten as life moves on. 
“Nice to meet you, ma’am. And you are?” Anakin responded with a short nod to show his thanks for her compliment. Anakin was used to people fawning over his looks. This wasn’t the first time a stranger, female or male, complimented him mere seconds after meeting him. The compliments did fuel his ego, but he never took them to heart as he only cared about what Padme thought. Now that Padme was gone, he indulged in the occasional compliment. Still, this compliment did not sound right coming from the pink lady in front of him. Cressida looked at Anakin like an object, a feeling he very much detested. It reminded him of the way Watto used to look at him. 
“I’m Cressida Calpurnia. I know some people who would love to meet you Anakin,” Cressia announced. “Do you mind if I steal him for a few minutes? I promise I won’t be long. I believe I saw Chione somewhere upstairs waiting for you.” A sickly sweet smile appeared on Cressida’s face as she batted her white eyelashes at you. You knew most people at this party did not give a damn about the war, for they were all vapid and too consumed by the drama in their own lives to think about anything else. It was hypocritical to think, considering you were also one of them, but it was also different because most of the people in this room were nepotism babies born with silver spoons in their mouths. You knew the value of hard work and had some sense of reality, though altered over the last few years as you came into superstardom. 
You knew you couldn’t refuse Cressida’s offer. What grounds did you have to refuse? A twinge of childish jealousy? You were afraid if you denied Cressida’s offer, she would think something was happening between you two. The last thing you needed was Cressida’s gossipy mouth spreading a rumor like that to your social circle. You didn’t care if it affected your reputation, but you didn’t know what Anakin’s consequences could be if the HoloNet tabloids captured a rumor like that.
“Well, I can’t speak for Anakin.” You turned towards Anakin and reassured him, “You can go ahead if you want. I think everyone would be excited to meet someone so famous (ironic considering most people in this room were famous or at least famous adjacent). I’ll just go find Chione upstairs.”  
Anakin didn’t want to go either. He rather stay by your side the entire night. You were the only reason he went to the party in the first place. Anakin only used the excuse of protection to spend more time with you. You didn’t have much time together left, and Anakin knew that once this mission was done, the Council would send him to the farthest corners of the galaxy. Anakin didn’t know if he would ever be able to see you again, so he wanted to soak up your presence as much as possible. He was about to protest and explain to Cressida that he would prefer to stay with you, but she drew her talons in him before he could speak. 
“I promise we don’t bite,” Cressida flirtatiously said before grabbing Anakin by his gloved arm and pulling him toward a couch filled with mutual friends. You mentally swore that you would bite her instead. Cressida’s flirtatious nature normally did not bother you, but she was slowly getting on your nerves now. 
Anakin looked over his shoulder and made eye contact with you, an apologetic look gracing his face before he turned his attention to Cressida and walked away with her. 
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“That nerfherder bitch!” Chione exclaimed to you as you recalled the recent interaction between you and Cressida. You both looked in the refresher’s mirror as you retouched your makeup. You already downed a flute of some fizzy hooch, a warm feeling settling over your stomach as you spoke. Drinking always made you loose-lipped, which is why your best friend was currently cursing Cressida.
“You should just avoid him,” Chione shrugged. You could trust Chione with all your secrets, including your crush on the Jedi. You recounted the dilemma–how attracted you were to Anakin, but you couldn’t do anything about it because the Jedi code forbade any attachments. Your forced proximity to him made the situation worse. You couldn’t escape him over the past few rotations. Each day somehow brought the two of you closer together. It was agonizing. The Maker was cruel and taunting. How dare they throw your life into even more of a whirlwind by introducing Anakin Skywalker? Maybe if Anakin was a regular man, you would have pursued him. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Your whole world has shifted off its hinges since Anakin came into your life. You didn’t know what could fix it, except for Anakin being yours. 
“What a load of bantha shit…I don’t know if I can avoid him. That’s what I’ve been telling myself to do! But every time I try, the galaxy pulls us closer. When Gido first told me that they were assigning a Jedi to me, I was scared because I thought it would only bring more trouble. But Anakin…he’s so sweet. We don’t fully know each other yet, but each interaction has brought us closer. I guess I could even consider him a friend. A very handsome friend who I think about more than I should…” you trailed off.  
You intentionally left out your earlier conversation with Anakin. Chione didn’t need to know that sensitive information. A deeper part of you disagreed with Chione’s advice; you didn’t want to avoid Anakin, not when you were slowly unraveling the puzzle that he is. You wanted to know him, even if meant you would eventually break your own heart. You hadn’t felt this way about anyone in a few years, and even then, no one had ever made you the same level of intensity that Anakin did. It was intoxicating, and you wanted more of it. 
“I love you, but it’s for the best. There’s no way you two could possibly be together. Don’t let yourself fall for him, only for you to be disappointed when he won’t leave the space monks for you. You’re better off finding someone else at this party.” Chione gave you a sad half-smile. You returned her smile with a small eye roll. “I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it.”
Another part of you, a more conscious one, flashed blaring signs in your mind. “Stop! Turn around! Imminent danger ahead!” they said. Perhaps it was out of fear. As much as you wanted to fall head first into Anakin, you didn’t want to deal with his aftermath. When he inevitably leaves, there will be no one to pick up the pieces of your heart. You didn’t even think it was possible to fall for someone so fast. Yet here you were. The signs knew this, and so they warned you of the danger slowly encroaching on your heart–heed Chione’s words.
You knew your best friend was right, even if you didn’t want to admit it out loud. You bit your lip and nodded in agreeance. 
Chione then grabbed your head and the two of you walked out of the refresher. You smiled at a few people on the way to the main room. Parties like these were the one of the only few places where you felt normal nowadays. Everyone here was someone, and if they weren’t someone then they were en route to becoming someone. There was a mutual understanding between everyone here–no fawning, no fangirling, and certainly no spilling gossip to the HoloNet. Of course, some people ignored that rule though. 
“Wouldn’t that be rude of me to just leave him? I’m the only reason why he’s here. Plus, I don’t want to leave him with Cressida. She’ll dig her claws into him and never let go,” you questioned. 
“I don’t know. Anakin appears to be having a great time with Cressida. He’s laughing and smiling,” Chione gestured toward the couch.
You whipped your head toward Anakin’s direction. Chione was right. Anakin was sitting there as he told the story of how he had to crashland on the planet of Mygeeto, only to be met with mastiff phalones. Every single person was focused on Anakin, their eyes never leaving his person. You saw a look of wonder on all of their faces. The feeling of jealousy washed over your body for the second time that night. 
You turned away from the sight before it could enrage you anymore. With a nose turned up in the air and a dramatic hair flip, you grabbed Chione again and dragged her to another room in the apartment. If she wanted you to avoid Anakin, fine. You would do exactly that. 
You dragged Chione until you reached the new room where lively, upbeat music was playing and a plethora of people danced together. 
You quickly grabbed two extra flutes of hooch with your free hand and handed one to Chione. You chugged the flute down, slightly cringing at the taste, before placing it on the silver tray of a server passing by. Chione did the same before hollering, “Let’s dance!”
You shot her a flashy smile, and the two of you made your way into the crowd of energetic, sweaty bodies. 
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Anakin Skywalker was bored and wanted to get as far away from these people as possible. He thought one or two stories would satisfy their curiosity, but an hour and a half passed since he first sat down and no one was satisfied yet. They wanted to know everything about Anakin. How was life at the Temple? What was it like fighting in the war? Anakin understood their curiosity. He was once a curious boy, and he used to love hearing the tales from the deep space pilots that were stationed on Tatooine. It wasn’t every day that civilians encountered the Jedi, especially now that the Jedi were more off-world than on-world sometimes. It slightly boosted his ego to have an audience so enthralled by him. 
At the same time, they all looked at Anakin like a commodity. They didn’t truly care about what Anakin had to say, or about the war at all. He was simply bragging points to them. Everyone would run to their friends and brag about how they met the famous Hero with No Fear after the party ended. Nothing he said would impact them. Whenever you asked Anakin questions about himself, it was different. You were genuine like you wanted to know more about him and not the persona the Republic created. Anakin was captivated by you, which is why he revealed his origins to you earlier. Not even Ahsoka learned the truth about Anakin’s past directly from Anakin–she learned it from Obi-Wan before their mission on Zygerria. Each moment between you two was marked by a saccharine tenderness. It was a type of tenderness that Anakin missed and craved all the time. Despite being a Jedi, Anakin thought of himself as a loverboy. He loved wholly and completely. And although you two were not in love, Anakin could picture himself harboring deep feelings for you. He was at the edge of the cliff, ready to fall into the deep descent of love. 
Anakin couldn't escape his current company. His jaw was starting to hurt from fake smiling. As a representative of the Republic and the Jedi organization, he couldn’t exactly be rude towards them just because he wanted to escape and spend time with you. Several times throughout his time on the couch, Anakin saw you interacting with other people as you made your way through the party’s various rooms. Each time he tried to make eye contact with you, you adverted his gaze and turned your attention elsewhere.
You couldn’t possibly be avoiding Anakin, could you? Except for Anakin,  it felt like you were avoiding him. You were talking to everyone else but him. Every time he wanted to reach you, he was whisked away into another story. He could have sworn that you purposely turned in the opposite direction every time you made eye contact. But maybe he was overthinking it? Did you see him differently now that you knew he used to be a slave? He felt insecure. No, that couldn’t be it. The way you spoke to him with such empathy signified to Anakin that it wouldn’t affect the way you saw him. He felt it.
Anakin felt paranoid, and he didn’t know why. Why did he care so much anyway? Anakin rationalized with himself. He was supposed to be your protector which is why he was so eager to return to your side. Not because he wanted to talk to you and get to know you more. And definitely not because you were affecting him way more than he would like to admit. 
“...so it true that Jedi aren’t allowed to have sex?” asked a Twi’lek woman to Anakin’s left. Anakin’s eyes widened at the question, and a pretty blush rose to his cheeks. Before he could answer, another woman around the couch protested.
“You can’t just ask people that, Almathea! It’s rude…but do you have sex?” she asked with a seductive raise of her eyebrow. 
Anakin took this moment as a sign to end the conversation and get back to you. He stood up from the couch in all his 6’2 glory. He was so statuesque, his statue and demeanor demanded attention from everyone he encountered. It was no wonder he was being held hostage by Cressida and her crew. 
“My deepest apologies everyone, but I must return to my original duty. I appreciate your curiosity in the Jedi and hope we can cross paths again one day. May the Force be with you all.” Anakin then flashed one last fake smile to the audience before stepping over a few tangled legs and towards the next room. He closed his eyes and narrowed his focus to locate your person. You were still at the party, just in a different room located somewhere in the apartment’s east wing.
The Jedi made his way through the different rooms trying to find you. He passed through people dancing, people playing roulette, some were crying, and some were laughing. It was like a scene from one of Canto Bight’s deluxe, elite casinos. Snippets of gossip and whispers of amazement filtered through Anakin’s ears as he walked closer to your location. 
Anakin finally stopped in another room filled with people socializing. The deep baritone notes of a saxophone mixed with a catchy melody danced around the room, shrouding it in a sultry aura. The lighting in this room was low, and the chandelier hanging from the roof was set to the lowest setting possible. If it weren’t for Anakin’s keen eyesight, he almost didn’t make out your figure. Years of dealing with Tatooine’s sandstorms made Anakin’s eyes adept at finding people and objects in otherwise difficult situations. As a child, Anakin always looked toward the colorful fabrics flying at the top of the slave quarters when an incoming sandstorm was happening. If he could find those colorful fabrics flowing in the wind, then Anakin knew he would be safe for another day. Additionally, Anakin had to have a good eye for whenever he worked on his pod racer or tinkered with droid parts. 
You were in the far corner of the room, dancing with another male. His hands were on your lower back, resting very closely to your tailbone. Your body was pressed against his and your arms hung tightly around his neck. Anakin couldn’t spot the male’s face because his face was buried in the side of your neck as he whispered something into your ear. Anakin desperately wished he knew what the male was saying to you. You giggled in response. Chione was nowhere to be seen. She separated from you as she conversed with one of her other friends. 
Jealousy was the common theme of the night. Earlier in the night, you were jealous at the site of Cressida oogling Anakin. Now, it was Anakin who was jealous. He was jealous that someone else held your attention while Anakin had been craving it all night. Who was this guy? Anakin wondered to himself. Did you have a boyfriend that Anakin didn’t know about? Did he read any signs wrong?  Well, there weren’t too many signs to begin with. Anakin did catch one of your stray thoughts from your initial meeting in which you said he was “kriffing gorgeous.” And Anakin may have felt changes in your emotional state around him, but who was he to assume that was because of him? Like that time he was teaching you how to drive your air speeder and he had placed his hands on top of yours as a guide. He felt a spike in your force signature. Everything else consisted of lingering stares, subtle blushes, or conversation Anakin didn’t want to end.
 Anakin wouldn’t have been wrong to assume you felt something for him, because you did. He just didn’t know it yet. 
The male in front of you was another mutual friend who you met before at a different party. He, Rigel, was a famous musical producer who worked with some of your other musician friends from time to time. Much like Anakin, Rigel had stunning blue eyes. You ran into Rigel with Chione—who decided to play matchmaker by leaving you two alone. You offhandedly mentioned before how you thought Rigel was cute, but that was before Anakin waltzed into your life. 
If you were sober, you would’ve never been caught nearly grinding on someone like this in a public place. It may have been a private party, but just one picture could spread rumors like wildfire. You were more media-trained than that. Plus, it wasn’t in your character to randomly become so intimate with another person so quickly. It looks like you took Chione’s advice a little bit too seriously. Well, that was the goal of coming to this party anyway, right?
Truth be told, you could barely understand what Rigel was whispering in your ear. It didn’t matter either way. Your brain was somewhere else, thinking of Anakin. How badly you wanted to grab him by his face and smash your lips together in front of Cressida. You wanted to run your hands through his silky curls. How did he manage to have perfect hair? What type of shampoo and conditioner did Anakin have access to on the field? After you kissed him, you would lead Anakin away from the party and into an empty bedroom where you would lay him on the bed and straddle him then—Wait! What were you thinking? The hooch was having the opposite effect on you. You drank to forget, not to remember. You opened your eyes and furiously blinked as to forget the thoughts. When you closed your eyes again, your brain automatically went to your previous dreamland. It’s almost like you could hear Anakin’s voice from right next to you. 
“Excuse me,” interrupted a harsh voice. 
You once again opened your eyes only to be met with the site of an annoyed Anakin. You quickly separated yourself from Rigel, who removed his face from your neck and stared unimpressively at the Jedi. Your heart skipped a beat—you weren’t expecting Anakin to appear. 
“A-anakin! This is Rigel…” you sheepishly introduced the two. Karking hell, this was so embarrassing! You hated that you were caught in such a compromising position, especially from the person you were trying to avoid. You then pointed to Anakin and took a deep breath before finishing, “Rigel, this is General Anakin Skywalker.” Your body turned into an inferno as the embarrassment rose. You were too drunk for this right now. 
The two men sized each other up through their stares before nodding to acknowledge each other.
“We were…um…we were just-“ you stumbled over your words as you tried to find the right ones. Anakin noticed your eyes looked glazed over and a little droopy. 
Rigel stepped in to save your sentence. “We were just getting to know each other. Perhaps you can go back to telling your little Jedi stories? I heard they were very entertaining.”
“Perhaps not. Pop star, I believe it’s time we retreat back to your apartment,” Anakin responded with as much sass as possible. Anakin rather freeze alive on Hoth than allow himself to leave you with some seedy character. Anakin asserted dominance by calling you by the nickname he gave to you. He was saying to Rigel that he knew you enough to have a nickname, which was more claim than Rigel had. Not that you were anything to claim, but Anakin’s possessiveness jumped at the sight of you two. Had you told Anakin that you wanted to stay with Rigel, he would’ve left you alone. You were a grown woman after all. However, Anakin’s statement left no room for argument. 
You bid Rigel goodbye, before turning to Anakin and hiccupping. You were annoyed. Was this the Maker’s way of telling you that you were meant to be with Anakin? If it was meant to be with Rigel, then it wouldn’t have been interrupted, right? Or was that just your drunk mind trying to rationalize what just happened? It was definitely the latter, you just didn’t recognize it yet.
“Let’s go,” you stated flatly. You began walking. You regretted your choice of wearing such an elaborate floor-length gown, seeing as you had to lift the dress so it wouldn’t drag on the floor. It was no issue earlier, but now that you were drunk, it was becoming a hassle. You couldn’t balance yourself and hold your dress at the same time, especially in the heels you were wearing. 
“How much have you had to drink?” Anakin asked as you stumbled to the entrance of the party. Your lipstick was smudged from all the drinks you had, and in your drunken stupor, you failed to reapply it. You couldn’t count how many drinks you downed. Was it seven or ten? It didn’t even matter anymore because five was your usual stopping point. 
“I don’t even know. Probably too much for my own good.” You weren’t watching where you were walking as you said that. A piece of your dress slipped under your heel causing you to almost tumble toward the floor. Anakin caught you by your waist before you could fall. It seemed Anakin had a knack for catching you. You straightened yourself off and continued walking.
“Come here for a second,” Anakin said from behind. He stood with his weight on one side, hips beckoning you toward him. 
“Why? I thought it was time for us to go,” you rebuttal.  
“It’s in your best interest to come back, not mine.” 
You turned around and faced Anakin with a sassy look on your face. He only bent down and grabbed a hold of your ankle, “If you must know, I’m doing you the pleasure of taking off your footwear so that you can walk in comfortably. You’ve had too much to drink to walk in these without injuring yourself.” He was talking about a few moments ago when you almost faceplanted into the floor. 
Instead of being grateful for Anakin’s chivalry, you decided to tease him instead. It was the only way you knew how to react to his kindness without instantaneously combusting. You were embarrassed still, but you tried to push those feelings aside. You hated dwelling on embarrassment—sometimes it was best to move on without acknowledgment.
“Why do you speak like that?” you asked with a tilt of your head. 
Anakin was confused by your question, “Speak like what?”
“You know. You speak so…melodramatic. Like everything you’re saying is a declaration. Your cadence is so fancy. Why If I didn’t know you were a Jedi, I would mistake you for a wealthy socialite,” you giggled. “It’s quite funny actually. You belong on the Opera stage, ready to declare to the entirety of Coruscant. You would be the Hero of the play.” 
Anakin looked at you with a deadpan stare. “Do I really speak like that?” It’s something he had never noticed before. Obi-Wan’s mannerisms must’ve rubbed off on Anakin more than he noticed. As you were speaking, Anakin was undoing the straps of your heels. “Well, If I’m the hero, then you must be the damsel in distress.” 
You cleared your throat and began mimicking Anakin again, “I do suppose that you speak like that. Why I go by Anakin Skywalker, and I’m a Jedi Knight. I’ve been on many perilous journeys, but the most perilous of them all has been to watch you. No battle droid or distant planet could compare to the chaos of handling an intergalactic singer.” You tried replicating the huskiness and cadence of Anakin’s voice. Instead, it came out sounding like you were recovering from a nasty cough. You poked fun at yourself too.
Anakin laughed at your brazen attempt to make fun of him. He dropped your ankle and grabbed your heels. They hung by their straps as his fingers gripped them with care. 
“Very funny. Are you sure you weren’t written by a playwright? You should be more comfortable now that we’ve removed these atrocious heels. You should be able to walk without any hassle now.” You didn’t get a chance to say thank you to Anakin as he started walking toward the entrance.
You lingered behind for a second, taking in the moment. Anakin was too sweet. It was an action so simple yet it had your heart bursting all the same.
Anakin turned around when he felt you weren’t next to him. “Where are you going, pop star?”
You sent Anakin a small smile before responding, “Sorry, I’m coming.” You began walking to him. The two of you exited the party and walked toward the landing bay, where your airspeeder was patiently waiting for you.
When you and Anakin got home, it was dark. The apartment lights were off. The only light that filtered through were the lights from Coruscant’s skyline.  A delicate moonlight washed over the apartment, creating a serene and safe atmosphere. 
You felt exhausted. The effects of the alcohol wore down on the way home, and you were mostly silent. Chinone left you a message stating she got home safely, so you had nothing to worry about. 
You recalled tonight’s events as you rested your eyes. From the intimate moment with Anakin at the start of the party, your scathing feelings toward Cressida, to Chione telling you to forget Anakin, and then being caught with another male by Anakin. Your head was all over the place, and the fast pace of the airspeeder did not help. You would have a lot to think about in the morning. You just wanted to get home for now and drift into Lalaland. 
The speeder came to a slow halt as Anakin lowered the vehicle onto your landing platform. He helped you out of the speeder and the two of you went inside your apartment. This night completely drained you and you wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.
Before retreating to your room, you wanted to say one more thing to Anakin.
“Anakin? I just wanted to give you my thanks—not only for coming to the party with me but for opening up and not letting me go home with Rigel. And for the heels,” you confessed
“It was no issue. That’s what my job is for—ensuring your comfort and protection for the time being.”
“Still…thank you. When you first came here, I was scared that it would bring trouble, but you’ve been nothing but helpful and kind. Your mother raised you well.” 
In one final act, you leaned and placed a gentle kiss on Anakin’s cheek. You let your lips linger for a moment before separating. You would tell yourself it was the last remaining bits of alcohol in your system tomorrow, but you knew better than that. It was an intentional act you hoped could convey your feelings when you could verbally not.
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i saw someone on tiktok say they saw jackson wang host a party in a harry potter fanfic and somelse commented they made jackson wang a senator in their star wars fanfic so i thought i would do the same...iykyk
taglist: @angie2274 @bunnylovesani @0709fullofstars @js-favnanadoongi @payton-dixonreader @attheairportbar @doplit
lmk if you want to be added to the taglist!
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viplala-things · 1 month
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ja ma ei viitsi olla pahane. See tunne on minus - annan talle energiat sellega. mõtetu. ma võin selgelt väljendada, mis ma arvan tema tegemistest ning miks see tegi mulle haiget, miks autos rääkimine ie sobi sest mul puudub igasugune kontroll, miks tema intensiivne jutt jätab mulje et ta vihkab mind ning ei tõenda vastupidist, miks minu vaatepilti -sest ma tean tagajärgi- väikesesse kasti ütlemine teeb haiget - aga öelgu siis kui tahab ja arvab et nii. on hea. ma ei leia et nii on hea.
aga ma ei kavatse ka seda viha või solvumist ja haigetsaamist enda sees hoida. sel pole väärtust. lasen lahti. annan andeks? ta lihtsalt on oma kastis ja ei näe paremini. kahjuks.
kas ma saan teha asju ja suhelda nagu ma tahan? mina saan, aga seda kas tema vastab ma ei kontrolli. see on tema teha.
hoolitse enda eest. ise. tee koostööd kui soovid, kuid temaga seda teha koos
armastan sind. hoian sind. kallistan sind.
väljendan end. saan aru, mida mõtlen ja mida tunnen. uuesti medi?
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sumajakume · 6 months
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Kui ma koju lähen siis ma
Lähen Andineemele
Pigistan kassid nii kõvasti vastu rinda et maiteamis
Kraabin Kuma sabajuurikst tund aega
Istun oma perega laua taga, söön kapsa-hakklihahautist ja jauran tundide kaupa
Käin saunas
Ärkan oma voodis Tartus ja olen rõõmus, et on hommik
Näen iga kord korterist väljudes mõnda tuttavat
Räägin Miale, milliseid pirukaid ma unes nägin
Lähen mälumängule ja võtan Sume kaasa
Kallistan kõiki sõpru külmas talveöös
Lasen Paulal nii palju mind kallistada kui ta tahab
Jalutan ülikooli peahoone eest läbi ja olen uhke, et ma seal õpin
Loen Mökus Müürilehte
Kelgutan Kassitoomel
Ja olen jälle nii nii nii õnnelik
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luuletus-ee · 11 months
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- pool
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kriimuline-blog · 2 years
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Üksi
Keegi ei armasta mind. Olgu, vähesed armastavad.  Veel vähemad mõistavad. Ma olen nii valesti imelikusti ebamugavikusti, ja ei taha ka kedagi muud kui sõpra ja ja ja  kui väga kurb hakkab lähen kallistan poega.  Koera jääb kallistamine jääb kuidagi napiks.
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jaigeye · 3 years
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just the two of us.
Chapters: 3/3 Word Count: 15,700 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Characters: Lando Calrissian, Boba Fett, Fennec Shand Additional Tags: Young Boba Fett, POV Boba Fett, Heist, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Romance, Undercover as a Couple, Flirting, Romantic Fluff, lando is very nice to boba and boba has to try and be normal about it, Action/Adventure, you have to listen to motown songs while reading this, Mutual Pining
Summary: The prolific young bounty hunter Boba Fett has been quested to recover a stolen set of Kallistan jewels from the high-ranking Black Sun leaders private apartments. In order to get close enough, he'll have to get an invitation to one of his parties as Lando Calrissian's plus-one.
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BARD CRINGE- Tainted Dreams
Hey folks. So I’m feeling weird and foggy brained today, so let’s do something cringey and hilarious that I’ve always wanted to do- share my fantasy novel from 13-year old me, a wee babe of 2008  O_o
I have no better segue or introduction, so let’s just enjoy Tainted Dreams.
~~~~
Prologue: ~Magic~
 First off, I know my handwriting terrible, okay? Get over it. It’s just apart of me.  Now, to the real in depth stuff. To explain a few things before the story, you know. (Mwahahaha)
     My name is Lisbeth Martinez, and this story is… Well, first off, it shows how ignorant and innocent I was way back when I was thirteen. Wow. I can barely see myself like that anymore. But I’ll always have memories from back then.  All the trouble I got in and the emotional roller-coaster…. Okay, back to explaining things…  
       In your world, there is another world that you are totally (Okay, it’s actually mostly) oblivious to.  Kallista. The amazing, dazzling magical city.
     Once upon a time, there were three magical powers. One, the practical one named Ox, decided that humans were too difficult to handle and just avoided them completely, staying up in his castle hidden in Antarctica, called Kallista. He was the founder of one of the most magical cities in the world now, as well as the founder of the Morphinos and other species of magicals.
  Then there was the caring one, Mira. She thought that some people were special and she wanted to interact with them and take on a human form. She lived peacefully with us, her castle being Veranditha. But she hated the other powers creations, for each power was jealous and hating of the others. It wasn’t always this way, but I’ll explain that some other time.
     (And no, I’m not saying these people are gods, because they are not. They were three people who were the first ones born with powers, okay? God is there. It’s…. These are some of god’s creations.)
   Last, there was the power who was always trying to see things in other people’s eyes, named Blythe. He was sad that everyone else was normal while they had powers. So, being a scientist, and a curious one at that, he made a plan. He made a disease (Genius, huh?) that spread around and gave people different powers depending on their personality.  His home was called Tessarin, which will be explained more later on in the tale of Lisbeth Martinez. Back to his disease.
    It was devastating. Some people couldn’t handle the disease and died. But others took to it… And they weren’t all good people. Thankfully, only about a hundred people ended up with powers since the other two powers were able to stop the disease.
    But they never knew that if the diseased had children, some of them would have powers too, which the three did not expect. But, what they saw was when the people showed their powers, they were shunned and even some were burned.
    So they made their cities sanctuaries and homes for these magical people.  Tessarin eventually was destroyed, so Blythe took over half of Veranditha, naming his part Ditha. That made both cities weak and small, so they were deeply hidden with magic. And it was also the start of a deep hatred between Blythe and Mira.
   So, after all the terrible ordeals were over with, Kallista was left.  It was eventually the only place for magicals, called Kallistans, a safe haven from our dark, shunning world. There were some who stayed in our world, but not many. Most went to the beautiful, safe haven of the magical city.
   Then, as the people became unruly, the three powers made the Legion of Powers, also called the Council nowadays. They were getting old and they needed someone to keep peace while they were gone. So they formed the Council, made up of the twelve most pure, magical entities.
   But when the powers left, the council started being not so nice and protective. They loved their power and made cruel tests to make people into creatures to do their bidding.  
  So the first violent and bloodthirsty Morvacs came. (Ox’s Morvacs were kind and protective, but the Council made them violent and ruthless.)  Finally, they practically perfected blending magical blood with animal blood. These people had cruel, animalistic instincts. They were like the police, except they killed whoever were against the Council and were ruthless. Many innocents died because of them.
  Further more, the Council has done many wicked experiments to make ultimate weapons. And all but onetime they failed.
   First, there were the Tessarins. They had all the dark powers. Flight, darkness, and telekinetic.  They could fly with wings that seemed like bat wings, getting them the name of Demon Bats.  But, soon, the Legion lost control over the four they had made. Three falling into the deep darkness of slavery while the other disappeared from the magical part of our world, seemingly dead.
    Second, they made were-dragons. Dangerous, violent, and only powerful at night. The Legion soon found out that, by making the Were-dragons, that they made a mistake. So they killed them all. But at the same time they were making vampires, the vial for Were-dragons fell into their bloodstream, making them able to create the were-dragons if they willed it. And then became the first race they could at least partially control. The five vampires. Lia, Luke, Lana, Landon, and Liam. The Vampiroz clan.
  And then, finally, there were the Morvacs, as you well know. The worst of all the creations before them.  That’s where the Council is in technology now, anyway.
  Ever since, darkness has flooded the magical world, as well as heroes. Some were odd and un-expected, but still heroes all the same. And a balance of good and evil was made, evil usually being the most in our world. That is how it is today and how it will stay, unless the world is cleansed of the monsters.
   And that’s how it all started. Powers, magic, everything in the world of Kallista.  Not to mention, everything in the amazing world that surrounds one young girl named Lisbeth Martinez.  (AKA me.)
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itsmarleen · 6 years
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Kallistamiseks pole põhjust vaja ja see ei ole imelik, kui inimesed kallistavad. Kui sa tahad kalli, siis tule ja ütle. Ma kallistan sind. Lihtsalt ära liiga palju küsi, sest ma olen ikkagi eestlane.✌️
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helinmuudla · 4 years
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lasen enda juuksed seljale rippu
ning tuulel kiigutada neid
kinnitan juustesse lilleõisi
mis meelitavad neisse mesilasi, kes
kiharatesse takerduvad
punun juustesse patse
ning harutan nad kohe lahti
lasen p2ikesel juukseid pleegitada
sest blondeerimiseks pole mul raha
leban samblal ja kallistan puid
põdrakärbsed juustes
loen gen-is saunas ristikivi
suitsuhais juustes
selle suve esimene liblikas oli kollakas-roheline
tiibade sahmides
mulle eelseisvat suve
mõni hetk tagasi ennustas
tahan enda juustesse nüüd klõpsata
liblikakujulisi klambreid
tead küll, t2pselt nagu olid moes 90ndatel
tahan mahlaj22tist lipsata
voodipesusi nöörile kuivama riputada
olla jälle kuuene ja
päevläbi vennaga batuudil hüpata
nexuse plaate saunamakist kuulata
võilillepõllul pärgi punuda
avinurme tünnilaadal käia!
täpselt nagu nullindatel.
t6nu trubetski arvab, et
nsv aegust sai kaasa v6etud
vaid halvad asjad
nagu alkoholism ja disko
juhtumisi kaks minu lemmikasja?!
i bet mulle oleksid meeldinud 90ndad
pean notedesse kirjutama
et telliksin ebays noid libliklaklambreid
ja kunstlilli, mida juustesse poetada
et mitte tappa lilli
ja mesilasi
enda juustesse takerdumast hoida.
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unofficial-estonia · 7 years
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Soo, long story short, my friend is obsessed with Estonia and I'll be there in couple of days and I want to send her a photo of me there with written on a piece of paper "welcome home [her name], love you" and because I don't really believe Google translation and wanted to ask, how'd you say that in Estonian?
"Tere tulemast koju, [name]! Armastan sind."
'Armastan sind' could be replaces with 'Kallistan' (sending hugs), imo that is more estonian and fits more when talking to a friend
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wingletblackbird · 7 years
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Tatooine Jewelry
All social classes on Tatooine wore jewelry, regardless of gender. They were often used to invoke protection or luck rather than just for mere personal adornment and were believed to ward off both natural and supernatural evil. As a consequence they frequently involved @fialleril’s colour symbolism , along with sand symbols, and/or carvings of animals and other mythological creatures whose power they wished to invoke. An individual’s name was often carved into the back as well to specify protection. The types of jewelry worn ranged from basic amulets and necklaces, which were often wide and quite intricate, to anklets, earrings, rings, bracelets, arm bands, and anklets. Signet rings were also common amongst the wealthy to seal deals, as many on Tatooine were illiterate, the seal was used to authenticate identity. Naturally, the value of the rings, and jewelry in general, depended entirely upon ones position in life.
The cheapest jewelry was made from scraps of Jerba leather cord, or flax rope, with the symbols carved onto scraps of Japor wood which came from a short, woody, stem that was not too hard to find in the desert and produced a nice oil for a finish. Other sources of wood came from the “Tatooine Tree” which were rare, ugly stumps of wood that were barely alive. If you were a slave, like Anakin was when he made the amulet for Padme, the above might be what you were limited to and you often had to make the jewelry by hand.
Those that were even a bit better off than a slave would decorate their jewelry with beads that were of many different colors, but commonly blue or green. Others might use semi precious Iketa stones, that came in many different colours, but were commonly associated with red. The cheaper ones could be found on Tatooine, but the more precious ones were imported from Geonosis. Moreover, instead of using cord or rope, copper might be used instead. Some wold make the accessories them self, while others, who could afford it, might have a professional to it.
The middle class would rarely have made their own jewelry, but would rather have bought their jewelry or even have it custom made as it was sacred. They would also have the option of using, mythra, a precious metal that was popular in the Outer Rim, as well as copper, with the even richer individuals using gold imported from Nubia. In terms of gemstones, they may have used imported Kallistan Gems, Rathalayan fire crystals, and Rylothian onyx. However, the most popular precious stone was the Durindfire crystal. Silver in colour, it could only be found on Tatooine, and while valuable, was considered sacred and so rarely was exported. Other popular crystals were glow stones, so named for the yellow glow they emited. While some were imported, they could be found on Tatooine as well. Carvings from Bantha ivory were also prized amongst the locals.
The most prized metal was, curiously, silver. It was hard to import and as such was even more valuable than gold. Only the richest people wore silver, and the elite might have even worn aurodium. The most precious imported gemstones were Jorrallan opals, Corusca gems, Arkania gems, particularly diamonds, emeralds, and amethysts. In spite of this, the most valuable and sacred gem was the Krayt Dragon pearl, which were exceedingly rare due to the difficulty of surviving an encounter with a Krayt Dragon, and were also sacred due to the significance of the Krayt Dragon on local mythology. The bones of the Krayt Dragon were also used in carvings.
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noanchorsallowed · 7 years
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Palju palju õnne sünnipäevaks sulle! Tean, et ilm pole just küll kõige parem, kuid Sa suudad selle ikka ilusaks teha! :)
Aitäh sulle armas 🙂 Kallistan tugevasti!!!
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hannahcaroline · 7 years
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mmm ja oh ja !
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Oh-kui-mõnus-kodune-on-vaadata-film, ja nii oligi! hea oli ka, tagant järele vaadates, nagu alati, süda on rahul !
Kallistan,
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siiks · 4 years
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Mul on hirm
On ju öeldud, et tundma peab kõike, mida tunda saab? Et kui emotsioon tuleb, siis on okei seda tunda? Jah-jah...
Aga hetkel on kuidagi rusuv. See kuradima haigus ei ole maailmast kadunud ja kuigi ma tunnen, et mind hoiab mõistuse juures positiivne mõtlemine, siis see tegelt on tüütu. Ja raske. Ja hirmus. Ja mina ka kardan.
Ma kardan, et äkki keegi minu lähedastest satub sinna hingamisaparaadi alla. Ja ma kardan, et see saab olema kohutavalt raske. Ja ma kardan, et äkki siis ei lähe hästi. Ma kardan, et see haigus saab olema raske isegi niisama läbi põdeda. Ma kardan, mis saab majandusest ja kuigi mul on töökoht, siis mis sellest saab. Ma kardan, et ma ei naudi enam kaua oma töökohta, aga mul pole kuhugi põgeneda. Ma kardan, et ma olen enesekeskne inimene, kui ma vingun töökohta üle, sest on paljud, kellel seda ei ole. Ma kardan, et see aeg muudab meid kuidagi niimoodi, et kui see läbi on, siis me ei ole enam need samad inimesed. Ma kardan, et me naaseme tööle-kooli-perede juurde mingite suurte kaotustega, kus näos vaid viis murekortsu juures. Ma kardan, et see ei saa läbi nii kiirelt kui ma loodan.
Mind häirib, et inimesed on nii enesekesksed, et nad ei suuda olla eemal. Ma kardan, et selliste inimeste pärast jään haigeks mina või keegi mu perest. Või keegi sinu perest. Ma tunnen kohati, et ma võitlen justkui üksi, kui ma vaatan inimestekampasid ja ignorantsust reeglite osas. Ma kardan, et me ei saagi niimoodi võitu.
Ma kardan ja ootan samaaegselt iga päeva keskpäeva, sest umbes selleks ajaks on tulnud tulemused. Ma ei taha, et inimesed peaksid olema faking juhitaval hingamisel, sest see on nii hirmus ja teadmata ja... inimesed peaksid ise hingama! Ei, see on absoluutselt iiimeeeline, et meil on selline meditsiinisüsteem, aga see ei ole mu point.
Ma kardan, et kuhu see pikk karantiin meid viib - kui kaua me peame vastu? Mis hetkel me lähme sellest ängist lõhki, et tahaks näha oma inimesi ja teha normaalseid asju? Jah, õnneks paljusid asju ei saa, sest need kohad on suletud, aga... ma pole oma venda näinud 4 kuud ja ma ei saa oma kodusaarele, sest politsei seisab ees. Need on minu väiksed probleemid ja pole maailma kontekstis olulised, aga minu kontekstis on. Seega ma kardan, et kuhu see välja viib. 
Ma sain selle nüüd välja ja 75% ajast ma ei tunne nii suurt hirmu ja ängi. Aga need mõtted on minuga kogu aeg kaasas ja ma lihtsalt loodan-loodan-loodan, et see on varsti läbi. Ma loodan, et kogu maailm töötab selle nimel ja ma tean, et nii peab ju lahenduse leidma.
Homme on jälle parem päev. Kallistan!
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kk-ngk · 7 years
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13.04.2017 Viimane päev Aafrikat
Äratuskell helises juba kell pool 7, sest enne põhjalikku ja lõplikku pakkimist tahtsime veel päikesest ja merest viimast võtta. Peaaegu olematu trenn ja füüsiline tegevus reisi jooksul andis endast vaikselt tunda ja olla oli nõrk ja lödi- otsustasin rannas veel natukene kõhulihasteharjutusi teha ja siis pakkima minna. Proovisin ühendust saada ka Maxiga, kes lubas kell 10 sokkidega platsis olla. Lisaks olin temalt juba paar asja ostnud, mille raha oli ta palunud alles koos sokkide rahaga anda- lohutasin end küll mõttega, et see 5 eurot temalt tükki küljest ei võta ja jääbki valurahaks selle eest, et ta sokkidega kohale ei ilmunud, aga ikka oli vastikult ärev niimoodi teadmatuses olla. Duši all liivast trikood loputades tundsin, kuidas kogu see muinasjutuline reis hakkab lõpuks mu teadvusesse kohale jõudma ja ma tantsisin rõõmust, et see kõik päriselt toimuski! Ma olin vist nii suure hoolega mentaalselt pakkimiseks valmistunud, et suutsin kõik asjad (Arthur Russelli ja Astrud Gilberto saatel) edukalt ära mahutada ja varakult valmis saada. Ainult sokisaaga oli veel lahendamata! Kirjutasin Maxile, et jou, meil on 5 minuti pärast minek, mille peale ta vastas, et ta on kohe kohal. Teades siinset elutempot ja inimesi arvestasin kohe, et sama hästi võib ta hetkel olla tunniajase autosõidu kaugusel Cape Coastis. But he made it! Ma sain oma sokid (küll natuke liiga väikesed ja mitte nii uhked, kui Kongo küla tüdrukul), aga missioon oli täiega täidetud! Tänasin Maxi, jätsin hüvasti ja jooksin rannalt tagasi, et meie üüratu pagas vani toimetada. Sõit meie majutuskohast Accrasse kestis umbes 3 tundi. Mind täitis üleni see sama õnn ja elevus, kogu jõust lehvitasin viimaseid lehvitusi kaluriküla lastele ja inimestele ja olin korraga nii kurb ja rõõmus. Tegime veel viimase lõunasöögipeatuse restoranis nimega "Mid-Way", mille menüü meid oma läänelikkuse ja rikkalikkusega lausa pahviks lõi. Tegelikult ei olnud neil peale praetud riisi ja teatud sorti kana praktiliselt mitte midagi muud. Kogu olukord kujunes täiega koomiliseks, kui Madis väsimatult enda fried chickenit nõudis. Mai fufu-pall oli supiga võrreldes liiga suur ja selle peale otsustas kelner talle suppi juurde tuua, millest keelduda Mail peaaegu ei õnnestunudki. Kuna nad pakuvad lahkelt ka sünnipäeva-, peielaua- ja niisama peolauateenust, otsustasin, et pean oma 18. sünna tagantjärele seal! Tuleb üks korralik praetud kana pidu:-)) Tümm oli ka olemas! Accrasse jõudsime just tipptunni paiku ja saime veel pikalt autoteedel kõndivaid müüjaid vaadelda. Nägin jälle pesupulbrikutti ja ühel vennal oli peas liialduseta umbes 10 patja!! Naised kandsid peas kandilisi anumaid sees loksuva lahtise veega (kuidas sa üldse sellise tasakaalupunkti leiad??!) ja lapsed koputasid akendele, et süüa paluda. Käisime veel Accra kohalikul käsitööturul, kus müüjad olid lausa vihased, nii agressiivselt surusid nad meile oma kaupa peale. Mul õnnestus osta kolme erinevat kangast Maarikale ja endale ja seda isegi päris normaalse hinna eest! (Upper-Easti võileivahinnaga ei anna muidugi võrreldagi, aga valik pealinnas võttis see-eest silme eest korralikult kirjuks).Tädi, kes mulle kangast müüs, poolitas kuuejardise kangatüki näiteks hammastega ja proovis mulle sadat kangast veel pähe määrida. Kiirelt (ja natuke Sherifi pahameeleks, kes juba ammu koju minna tahtis) käisime läbi ka kohalikust supermarketist, haarasin kiirelt Mettele ja issile magusat ja peaaegu autentseid mangosid kaasa. Nii lääneliku valikuga supermarketit polnud ma Ghanas veel näinudki! Toppisime viimased ostud veel kottidesse ja suundusime lennujaama poole. Siin me nüüd olemegi! Ootame oma öist lendu ja laeme telefone. Sander käis vetsus värskendaval suplusel ja tema kõrval keegi härra oksendas ja pesi hambaid ja mõlemat lausa korraga(?!!). Ikka on selline väga kummalise filmi tunne, see ei lahtu küll veel nii pea, sest see uskumatu reis hakkab mulle alles nüüd tasapisi kohale jõudma. Mulle on päeva jooksul umbes 10 korda helistanud Max, see sokimüüja!!! Mu ellu pole teist Fatihit vaja:-)) Ilmselt jõuab see postitus Internetti alles homme hommikul Amsterdami lennujaama wifis, aga ma kallistan kõiki ja hingan veel viimaseid sõõme Aafrika imalalõhnalist õhku ja olen varsti kodus!!! Lennukis vaatan vist uuesti "Danceri" filmi ja magan ka natuke. Mpoyah, medasi, mu Ghana!! I'll go and come back 🌞
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the-egginator · 2 years
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okay mcr's i don't love you is a total kallistan song but the music video just screams ludran
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