#just some bloodwork and imaging as i wait for an appointment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nekojitachan · 6 years

Text

Okay, I just felt like writing something Halloween-inspired. This is the start of something new (I KNOW, FINISH SOME OTHER STUFF). I’m getting back to RP, I promise, but I wanted to post something since I haven’t lately, so here’s this.

Warnings for Mary (so yes, abusive relationship), and mentions of child abuse, mentions of the abusive pasts of our boys.

The Ghost in You

*******

Andrew gave what passed as a glare from him at Wymack as he stalked into the man’s office. “How the hell am I supposed to help Peter Minkin if I can’t understand him, hmm?” he asked in a deceptively mild tone of voice as he slapped his latest case file onto his boss’ desk and narrowly missed sending a pile of paperwork toppling over as a result.

Used to him by that point, Wymack didn’t even flinch or pause in drinking his coffee, merely gave Andrew the finger as if gesturing for ‘one minute’ while he finished his needed influx of caffeine before speaking. “Because that’s why I hired a damn translator last month? Which a shitty little maggot like you would know if you’d attended the supposedly mandatory staff meetings.” Wymack glowered as he folded his tattooed arms on top of his messy desk.

Andrew waved aside the usual gripe as he snatched up the abandoned file, partially mollified that he’d have a way to communicate with the kid. “That’s what Kevin’s ten page summary emails are for,” and ignored – he relied upon Renee to fill him in on any necessary details, but she was currently on sabbatical, off helping out some old Peace Corps friends with a project for a couple of months. Hmm, he had to wonder if the new translator had anything to do with the ‘hot piece of ass’ Nicky had been going on about lately, which was even more reason for Andrew to ignore his cousin. “I’m scheduled for a preliminary meeting with Peter in half an hour, the translator better be there,” Andrew said as he turned to leave the cluttered office.

“It’s already on Josten’s schedule,” Wymack called out. “You’d know that, too, if you read your damn emails!”

That was another familiar complaint which was waved aside as Andrew left, intent on having some more caffeine himself while he checked for any important updates to Peter’s files before the appointment; on the way to the kitchen and then to his own office (a lot less cluttered and disorganized than Wymack’s), he ran into Nicky and Robin, yet managed to fend them off by waving the thick folder in the air. Nicky grimaced, clearly in the mood to talk and unhappy to be denied, while Robin, finally cleared to work on cases of her own after shadowing Andrew for the past few months, smiled and wished him a good day.

It was such a hopeful thought, but highly unrealistic; the children brought to Palmetto Services (nicknamed the Foxhole because of all the stuffed foxes scattered around the place and the playful versions painted on the walls in an effort to soothe and cheer up the kids) were abused and/or traumatized, were the ones who’d been fucked over by the ‘official’ child services system in one way or another and so it had been decided that they needed more specialized attention (that they’d be someone else’s problem).

It meant that Andrew was working with kids who often suffered through the same thing he’d gone through as a child, the same pain and abuse and neglect… and he got to end the horror for them. He got to make it better, but it took a lot of work, a lot of patience and digging and effort, and he knew firsthand the nightmares would still continue even though the monsters had been vanquished at last (at least those monsters).

At least, he did everything he could to help the children assigned to him, so the new translator – Neil Josten – better not fuck things up with Peter Minkin. From what the files said about the boy, he’d been taken into custody from a violent father up on various charges with no sign of the mother, and could barely speak any English. The boy was malnourished and bore repeated signs of abuse (Aaron had done a thorough physical on Peter, and Andrew could tell from the sloppiness of the handwritten notes attached to the copies of x-rays and bloodwork that his brother was furious about the results).

He skimmed the newly added details from his brother and what Seth had been able to unearth about the boy’s father, everything committed to memory, then went to the one prepared play room where Peter would be brought for their first session. It only took a minute for Andrew to reach it since it was right down the hall, and he was surprised to find someone there already.

The person was a young man around his age, perhaps a little younger, and had a couple of inches on Andrew’s five feet. The dark grey sweater he wore hung on his lean frame, the sleeves falling past his hands, and dark brown hair fell onto a handsome face bearing a faded scar down the right side, obscuring what seemed to be brown eyes. “Andrew Minyard?” the young man asked, his voice a quiet tenor and accent bland, lacking in any regional indicators.

“Neil Josten,” Andrew said by way of an answer, and noticed that Josten didn’t offer a handshake nor seem offended when Andrew didn’t do the same. “How’s your Russian?”

“Good,” Josten said then fell silent as he took a step back to lean against one of the bookshelves containing a multitude of stuffed animals.

Not a talker, which seemed odd for a translator, but that was fine with Andrew, who wasn’t much of a talker himself. He checked his phone to see that Abby was bringing Peter, along with a surreptitious glance at his associate; despite the shaggy haircut and baggy clothes, Nicky wasn’t too far off about Josten.

It was just a casual observation while he waited for the kid.

“And here we are,” Abby said as she arrived with Peter Minkin, a bright smile on her face and ash-blonde hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. Even though she was the head nurse practitioner for Palmetto Services and helped run the medical offices where Aaron and Katelyn interned, she often escorted the new or more skittish children around (her or Renee) since she projected ‘safe’ so well with her friendly smile, the colorful scrubs she wore and her genuine kindness.

As for Peter, he appeared small for his seven years (probably the malnutrition), his dark brown eyes huge in his face and his light brown hair cropped close to his skull. He was dressed in a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt and jeans that were a little too long for him, and was obviously reluctant to come near two strange men.

Before Andrew could do anything, Josten moved away from the bookshelf with a stuffed Pooh in his hands and knelt a safe distance from the boy while he spoke softly in Russian. After a couple of seconds, Peter’s face broke into a smile and he gave a shy smile as he reached for the bear; Andrew noticed that Josten was mindful to hand it over slowly and without touching the child.

Josten spoke for about another minute, and then Peter joined in as well. That went on for another minute or two while Andrew’s annoyance grew, until he heard his name be brought up. Peter’s eyes flickered toward Andrew and whatever it was that Josten said seemed to put the boy at ease, to the point that he gave Andrew a slight wave with his right hand.

Soon after that, Josten nodded once and slowly stood up as if mindful not to startle Peter. “All right, I told him that you’re going to talk to him for a while, perhaps ask him some questions but that you’re here to help him and it’s going to be all right, that you won’t touch him.” Something made Josten’s jaw clench for a moment before he went back to the one bookshelf. “No one here will.”

Interesting, that Josten said ‘not touch’ and ‘not hurt’, not that either would happen while Andrew was around. “He’s right,” Andrew told Peter even though the boy might not understand him. “As he said, I’m Andrew, now shall we play a couple of games?” He motioned toward the one table that was already set up with the various coloring books and simple games he used to help him know the children assigned to him better as well as work toward gaining their trust while Josten translated.

The session went by quickly despite Andrew’s inability to talk directly Peter, with Josten only speaking to translate and staying quiet otherwise. Peter seemed to enjoy being able to play with crayons and to draw what were probably meant to be animal shapes, but drew into himself whenever Andrew brought up his father or the one coloring book had images of a man and a woman with a child or children in it.

Probably not a good idea to have Wymack attend any sessions with the boy in the near future.

The session ended with Andrew certain about Peter’s abuse and forming a plan on how to move forward with his treatment, but aware that it would take numerous more sessions. He remained seated when Abby returned for Peter, intent on retaining the slight bit of trust he’d earned with the boy so far.

It was difficult to tell with the overlarge sweater, but when Josten left the room first, Andrew thought Nicky might be on to something about the man’s ass. Also, he’d have to talk to Wymack about having the door looked into since something was wrong with its hinges – the damn thing would have slammed shut in his face if he hadn’t stopped it in time. He also felt a blast of cold, so the air conditioning was acting up.

He stopped by Bee’s office to share his initial observations with her about the boy and go over his reactions to the new case, as well as his workload in general. After about half an hour, they moved on to more ‘safe’ topics (the latest books they were reading, a new bakery), and he brought up Josten. “What’s his story?”

“Neil?” Bee handed over a fresh mug of hot chocolate before she returned to her desk. “David felt that we needed an official translator on site rather than request one on demand all the time. We can’t keep limping along with the various languages everyone on the staff knows, so he brought in a heavy-hitter,” she said with a smile.

Andrew thought about that for a moment, about Josten’s quiet voice and professional behavior. “What does he know besides Russian?”

“That I know about? Chinese, Spanish, French, German and Arabic.” Her smile strengthened when Andrew’s brows drew together. “Yes, I know, impressive.”

“Why’s he working here, then?” One didn’t go into a social service related job for the money, and it seemed to Andrew that someone with Josten’s skills could be working for the government or some big corporation.

Bee was quiet while she sipped her own hot chocolate as if debating what to say. “I’ve only met him a couple of times and David’s been quiet about how he found Neil… but I’m willing to bet that Neil works here for much the same reason that most of us do,” she admitted. “It’s personal for him.”

Andrew thought about that after he left to continue with the rest of his current cases (Isabel and Ryan and Cory), while he worked with Laila on the upcoming court trial for Cory’s prick of a father and spent some time with Robin on one of her own cases. He had just enough time to meet with Aaron for lunch and was satisfied to have an excuse to turn down meeting up with Kevin later that evening to watch some stupid game in a bar, even if it had been too long since he’d gone out drinking or had any ‘fun’.

Josten showed up each day to translate for Peter, a quiet, unobtrusive presence who stood off to the side and relayed what Andrew and Peter spoke as Andrew worked hard to earn the boy’s trust, to slowly try to pry the truth out of him about what his father had done to him and his missing mother. Each day Josten would show up in thick sweaters despite the fall weather still being warm for that time of year, covered from lower neck to hands and feet, his hair barely combed and falling onto his rarely expressive face. He would translate and then leave, and Andrew wouldn’t see him in the break room or the small cafeteria or anywhere else around the Foxhole.

It wasn’t that huge of a building.

“What do you think of him?” Nicky asked during lunch one day, about two weeks after Peter had arrived at the Foxhole. “You’re so lucky you get to work with him – all of my kids speak English or Spanish,” he said with a slight grimace, as if he didn’t adore his cases; he worked with kids facing difficulties due to them coming out or transitioning, often because of their home life or the situations at school.

“He translates, which is good,” Andrew said as he broke apart his cheese sandwich.

“Oh come on.” Nicky rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner as he leaned back in his chair. “I’ll admit that Neil needs a major wardrobe overhaul and makeover, but he’s still hot. How can you stand being in a room with him every day and not notice that hotness?”

Andrew greatly regretted his cousin finding out about him and Roland, even if it was just a casual thing. “Because I’m working and we’ve said like five things to each other?”

Nicky frowned at that. “Yeah, he’s not very outgoing, is he? Matt’s tried a few times to invite him out to some of our group events but always gets interrupted by something. “ He grinned as he leaned forward with his elbows on his table. “I wish I had my phone out the one time the coffee maker just started shooting water out all over him! It was the weirdest thing but funny as hell! Another time he leaned against the fridge wrong and somehow hit the ice button and the cubes started just falling out onto the floor! I think Neil’s terrified of being around him because of what’ll happen next, the poor guy.”

Well, Boyd was a bit of an eager puppy when he decided to go after something, though not as bad as Knox – there was a reason the men helped Kevin with the sports therapy programs. “Nothing’s going to happen,” Andrew told his cousin. “Drop it.”

“But-“

“No.” Andrew grabbed the rest of his sandwich with the intent of finishing it in his office and ignored his cousin’s crestfallen expression with ease as he walked away.

Still, something about the conversation stuck with him, as did Bee’s. It made him study Josten even more, made him pay close attention to the way the younger man was so patient with Peter, would soften his voice or offer up a new stuffed animal at just the right time (when Andrew had to ask more details about the bastard of a sperm donor). How there seemed to be a darkness in Josten’s eyes when Peter began to give up halting details, when he drew angry red marks on the child images (and the mom images as well).

“Who is he?” Andrew asked Wymack when they met the day before Cory’s trial would begin. “Where did he come from?”

“That’s confidential information,” Wymack said with a stubborn set to his jaw. “Just know that he had great recommendations and leave it at that.”

No, not quite, but the old bastard had installed a better lock on the personnel file drawers after he’d realized that Andrew had gone through them to check up on the last few hires, so Andrew would have to bide his time to read Josten’s file (that or get enough dirt on Seth to have him hack the online version, which might be easier).

His part in Cory’s trial lasted two days, two days of mental exhaustion and barely constrained anger while he was questioned and cross-examined and had to push down the urge to get up out of a damn uncomfortable wooden seat and bash in the brains of some fucking prick who’d dared to harm a defenseless child. Two nights of the memories rushing back to the fore worse than usual, of the demons riding him harder than usual… but it was worth it for Cory to be free, for the prick to receive a guilty verdict, according to the text he received from Laila as he worked on his daily tasks once back in the office.

Perhaps it was that text, or perhaps it was the way that Peter smiled at him when the boy saw him, the sense of progress during their session, but after Peter was gone and Josten went to leave as usual, Andrew spoke up. “Soon I’ll start working in new elements, have him sit in with Bee and try some sessions with Kevin as well. He’s going to need to learn English and get back in classes once he’s stable.”

Josten paused by the door to look back at him. “Yes, I’ve been asked to do a language evaluation of him in the next week or so, and to sit in with Dr. Dobson.”

Still so distant and polite, as always. Andrew shoved aside a thought on if he was like that with other things. “No other cases you’re assisting with right now?”

“A couple.” Josten cocked his head to the side. “It’s fine, I can manage.”

“Is that what keeps you so busy? I don’t see you around here at all.”

Josten tugged the cuffs of his light grey sweater (he always wore grey or light blue, wore such boring colors and clothes) even farther over his hands; Andrew thought he caught sight of faded scars on the long, slim fingers before they disappeared. “I have things to do.”

That wasn’t much of an answer, was it? “What do you think of Peter’s progress so far? Perhaps we can discuss it over a cup of coffee?” Andrew didn’t usually do the whole ‘social’ thing, but there was something interesting about the translator, something that drew his attention the more that Josten tried to hide away.

For a moment he thought that the man was going to say ‘yes’, and then Josten drew in a quick breath as he wrapped his arms around his middle. “No, I have paperwork I need to do. I’ll send you an email with my thoughts,” he said in a rush before he spun around and almost ran from the room.

Surprised by the reaction which seemed almost fearful, Andrew stepped forward to follow Josten and find out what had provoked that response. He shivered as he encountered a spot underneath the air conditioning vent (hadn’t Wymack fixed that yet?) and cursed when the door slammed into him with unexpected force, enough to knock him aside and leave his left arm throbbing with pain; it would have been his head if he hadn’t thrown his arm up in time.

Apparently Wymack hadn’t fixed that, either.

Josten forgotten for the moment, Andrew cradled his sore arm against his chest as he stalked down the hallway to go have a ‘nice’ chat with his boss.

*******

Neil frowned when he noticed that the grapefruit weren’t on sale anymore, but perked up when the green apples and pomegranates were instead, both of which he stocked up on until he felt a harsh tug on his hair. He grabbed some radishes and yams since they were cheap enough to pass without complaint (and the few vegetables he didn’t mind), then left the produce section with some regret.

Chicken thighs were on sale as well, so he grabbed a couple of packages with a whispered ‘I’ll freeze some’, then checked to see what cheese was marked down and got some decent cheddar. He managed not to sigh over the ramen packages he added to the cart, and at least would have the chicken, radishes and yams to make a proper meal out of it, and got a loaf of not quite the cheapest white bread along with a jar of peanut butter.

He grabbed some more shampoo, laundry soap and toilet paper, then saved the first aid aisle for last where he stocked up on bandages and antibacterial ointment. At least he didn’t need hair dye for a few more weeks, he thought to himself as he headed to pay for everything, mindful to pick a different cashier than last time.

The young woman smiled at him while she rang up his purchases, talking all the while about how she loved ramen, too, and wanted to try making an apple pie that weekend. He busied himself bagging up the items as they came down the conveyer belt, uncertain as to why she had to talk so much and not just focus on doing her job, and shook his head when she asked him questions along the lines of if he baked (he didn’t like sweets) or if he liked Japanese food (he did enjoy sushi, but it was rare when he allowed himself the treat).

She kept smiling at him despite the lack of answers, and brushed his fingers with her own when she handed him the receipt after he used his debit card to pay for everything. Aware of Mary’s cold presence behind him, he was quick to grab the bags so he could leave, and didn’t flinch when he heard what sounded to be a drawer slamming shut and the woman cry out in pain.

He didn’t know why people couldn’t leave him alone, couldn’t ignore him like he wanted. Why did they have to smile and talk to him? He wasn’t worth their attention, their attempts at friendship… or worse.

Mary tugged on his hair several times during the drive back to the apartment, hard enough to make his scalp burn but not enough to distract him from the road ahead. She waited to ‘speak’ until they were inside with the door locked and deadbolted for the night.

/Did you have to encourage that slut?/ Mary accused as she yanked on his hair again, that time hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“How did I do that?” Neil asked as he forced himself to carry the bags into the kitchen, the British accent slipping back into his voice since they were alone. “I didn’t even talk to her and I barely looked at her. Next time I’ll avoid her register,” he promised.

There was another tug to his hair, but that time it was almost gentle. /Good. What have I told you about her kind?/

His head hurting and arms aching from the scratches from earlier which still throbbed, Neil set the bags on the counter and took a deep breath before he recited the words he knew by heart. “That relationships are evil and will only harm me. That people who try to trick me into one aren’t ever to be trusted, that they only want to hurt and use me.”

/Yes./ That time Mary when stroked frigid fingers through his hair, he shivered from both the chill and the gentleness of the touch, from the rare show of affection. /You need me to watch after you, to keep you from falling for their tricks, Abram./

“I know, Mum. You’re always looking after me.” He gave her partially see-through form as grateful a smile as he could summon before he started on the groceries. “How about some tea?”

/Yes./

Once the chicken was put away (most of it in the freezer, as he’d promised), he filled the kettle with fresh water and started it heating up on the stove, then decided that he wasn’t in the mood to cook that night and settled on a peanut butter sandwich with an apple for dinner. He’d just finished making the sandwich, the kitchen orderly once again with the groceries tucked into their places (it wasn’t hard to keep neat considering how little food he bought) when the kettle whistled, so he rinsed out the two mugs to warm them up before he dropped teabags in them.

Mary hovered over the steeping mug set out for her, a pleased expression on her incorporeal face, her long hair drifting about much like the tendrils of steam rising from the mug. Neil allowed his to steep a little longer while he ate the sandwich, the large apple saved for ‘dessert’.

His mother was quiet for about an hour or so, during which he cleaned up after his dinner and took to reading a book in Chinese in the living room’s only chair. /How much longer are we going to stay here?/ she asked as she floated around the bare room, her expression one of displeasure.

Neil marked his place in the book then hugged his knees up to his chest. “I told you, this is a good place for us and there’s no need to run anymore. The money’s enough for all my bills, no one’s questioning my past and I like what I do.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly when she drifted closer. “He’s dead, Mum. No one’s looking for us anymore.” No matter how many times he tried to convince her of that, it never ‘took’ for long; he didn’t know if it was because of all those horrible years of living with a monster, of the harsh time on the run or her terrible death, but she couldn’t move on from the past.

But wasn’t that what made a ghost a ghost?

(And who was he to throw stones at glass houses, when he lived with said ghost?)

There was a blast of freezing air, Mary’s displeasure made evident as she whirled around the chair and tugged on his hair once more as a furious, sparkling silver blur. /Nowhere’s good, Abram. Everywhere is full of liars and betrayers and murderers, did he teach you nothing? How many times did we think we were safe, only to run away in pain? How many?/

“Everywhere and always,” he gritted out as he forced himself to not lift his arms to protect his head, to try to shove her away (as if that would work). “But he’s dead, Uncle Stuart killed him years ago. That doesn’t make anywhere safe, but… but that’s why I have you, yes?”

The whirling blast of cold eased up and the tugging stopped, right before Mary coalesced in front of him, her head downcast and wisps of hair floating in front of her face. /Yes, that’s why I’m here, Abram. I have to watch after you, have to protect you./

“I know, Mum,” he told her with a trembling smile. “You’ve always looked after me.” She taught him French and encouraged him to keep learning new languages when they were trapped in that nightmare of a home back in Baltimore as a means of distraction, to keep him busy and out of his father’s sight (as much as possible). When the abuse had finally gotten to be too much, she’d stolen money and run away with him, had managed to keep them out of his father’s reach until that awful night in Seattle.

Even after Nathan had nearly caught them, had left them bloody and beaten, Mary fatally so, she hadn’t given up. Her spirit had lingered on after Neil (Nathaniel) had burned her body, had kept him going long enough to reach out to the Hatfords for help (at last).

Neil thought that Stuart suspected that Mary hadn’t entirely ‘moved on’ after her death, that he’d picked up on her presence around him. After all, Neil had to get the whole ‘I see dead people’ from somewhere, not that many other ghosts came around him with Mary constantly there, for which he was grateful. There had to be something special about the Hatford bloodline which allowed Mary to be so powerful as a ghost.

Or maybe it was just more of their lives (and afterlives) being fucked up and cursed.

The debate about him leaving his new life behind settled for the time being, Neil made some more tea and read a little longer, then went to take a shower before bed. He sighed at the sight of the long, red scratches along his arms and even a couple of across his chest, but none of them were deep enough to require any bandages.

That time.

He took care not to scrub them too hard while washing clean, and only looked into the mirror to check his roots (they would be fine for a few more days) before he removed the contacts and brushed his teeth for the night.

Once he was tucked beneath the heavy blankets, Mary took up position by the bed, a familiar sentinel which never tired, never wavered in her duty to watch over him. He missed how she used to sleep in the same bed as him, her back pressed to his, but knew that when he’d wake up from the nightmares that she’d be there to brush cold fingers along his sweaty brow to calm him down, to reassure him that she was there and all was safe.

He was Neil Josten (now), he had a home to call his own, one with a deadbolt and a comfortable bed (even with the gun under the pillow), with no ghosts of people cruelly murdered by his father (save Mary), no monsters in human flesh eager to hurt him lurking about to cause harm. He had a job where he got to help children, something that paid the bills (even if Uncle Stuart had set up an account for him) and allowed him to do something he enjoyed.

He had Mary to watch over him, ever and ever.

It was enough.

*******

okay, pretend i know what i’m writing about here (in general).

#tw: abuse #mary's not letting go in this one #andreil #or will be #andrew minyard #neil josten #mary hatford #supernatural theme #wait until renee shows up #she has andrew's back #he's gonna need it #neil just doesn't want to be alone #nekojitachanfics #ghost in you fic #aftg fic #tfc fic

350 notes · View notes

dibs4ever · 6 years

Text

I love him so much (Prequal)

Barbara Gordon stood in the shower letting the hot water relax her muscles. In the past 4 weeks, she had thrown herself completely into her batgirl duties. She knew it was only a distraction from -him.

But it was better than where she had been the previous month. Where she just lied in bed all day ignoring the outside world completely. She didn’t want to eat, patrol, exercise, socialize or even bathe. All she wanted was for the pain of losing her best friend to go away

Today was her annual physical with Dinah. She’d already canceled and rescheduled twice and she knew if she canceled again D would break into the watchtower and drag her to her office herself. She laughed lightly Dick always hated going to these check-ups. ”They’re pointless” hed insist. Somehow everything reminded her of him , his spare toothbrush and extra clothes that he kept in her guest bedroom that she couldn’t seem to bring herself to throw away, the cereal aisle at the grocery store, the color blue, her old bedroom where they slept with each other for the first time after getting hit with Ivy’s-“

She turned off the water those days were over. Dick Grayson existed now only in memories.

When she walked into Dinah’s she looked surprised “Barbara hey! I was half expecting you’d call and cancel” she said flopping down in a seat and patting the bed in front of her.

“I knew you’d come find me if I didn’t show,” Barbara said hopping up on the bed

Dinah smiled “ You know me so well. So how are you really?” She asked

Barbara shrugged “ Fine I guess”

Dinah shook her head “ Barb come on talk to me”

Barbara sighed “I’m—-doing better” it wasn’t a lie she really was.

Dinah nodded “You know I can still prescribe you something to help. There’s no shame in it Barbara”

She let out a sigh “Yeah I know. But I’m doing better honest”

Dinah shook her head “No you just traded lying in bed and sleeping all day for completely throwing yourself into Batgirl duties. I heard you are quitting your job at the library”

Barbara shrugged “We have a lot of missions and investigations going on right now”

“Are you ever Barbara Gordon anymore? I ran into your dad yesterday and he said he hasn’t seen you in 3 weeks and that you always say you’re busy with class. You dropped out of your classes the day of Dicks funeral”

Barbara glanced at her fingers at the mention of his name

“Sorry,” Dinah said softly fearing she had triggered something

Barbara shook her head “No you’re right, let’s just get this over with”

Dinah nodded

An hour later Dinah slipped off her vinyl gloves ”Welp you're almost done, let me just go in the back and check you're bloodwork then you'll be on your way.

Barbara nodded “Great, I have some computer analysis’ I need to get done”

Dinah laughed as she exited the room. She came back a few moments later though holding the paper in her hand, examining it with a completely different expression on her face.

“Di is everything alright?” Barbara questioned jumping off the bed and approaching the other woman

Dinah continued to look at the blood test results “Barbara when was your last mensural cycle?”

Barbara thought for a moment “I don’t know, maybe 6 weeks ago. But ya know it’s always been kinda wonky and with everything going on—- “ she stopped “Dinah did the blood test come back with something. Am I sick?”

Dinah shook her head “Barb when was the last time you were.....active?”

Barbara rose an eyebrow “Active?” she thought her mind having flashes of his hands running up and down her back. Her hands tangled in his hair, his lips on her neck whispering sweet nothings to her. “I don’t know I guess a little over two months ago. Dinah is everything okay? You’re kinda scaring me”

Dinah nodded “Well kinda, you don’t have a disease if that’s what you’re thinking. But according to this”, she taped the paper and read over the results for the tenth time just to be sure she was definitely reading it correctly “You’re pregnant “

Barbara took a step back “Pregnant? “ she shook her head “That’s impossible”

“Did you use protection?” Dinah shrugged

Which time. Barbara mentally thought but the news was still waving over her “You said that I couldn’t get pregnant because of all the stress, activity and injury I put on my body over the years”

Dinah shook her head “I never said you couldn’t, I said it was a possibility that you couldn’t “

Barbara shook her head “I can’t be pregnant. It must be a mistake I mean if I’m pregnant that means it’s “ she bit her lip unable to say the name.

“Dick’s?” Dinah finished the sentence for her

Barbara remained silent but her deep inhalation giving her the answer

“We can do an ultrasound to confirm “ Dinah tilted her head, Barbara gave a nod

A few moments later Barbara was lying back on the bed her shirt up while Dinah sat beside the bed with an ultrasound machine.

She squirted some cold gel on her stomach before waving the wand around. After a couple seconds of what looked like nothing an image appeared

“Is that?” Barbara began

Dinah nodded “That is your baby.” She continued to wave the wand around “If I had to guess I’d say you’re about 10 or 11 weeks along”

Barbara continued to stare at the screen, the timing was definitely correct “Is it-“

“Okay?” Dinah nodded “It has a heartbeat, wanna hear?” She began hitting buttons already knowing Barbara’s answer was yes

The thump-thumping of the heartbeat came through the speakers

Both Dinah and Barbara stared in awe

She pushed herself up getting a better look at the screen “Turn it off” she said quickly

Dinah did as she said and handed her a towel to wipe the gel off her stomach “Are you Alright?”

Barbara laid back on the bed blinking as she did a breathing exercise to calm her nerves. “I’m carrying a dead man's child”

“ You’re carrying Dick Grayson’s child” Dinah reworded

Barbara nodded “I’m carrying Dick Grayson’s child” she rested her hand on her stomach as if the realization was just setting in she shook her head “Nobody can know about this Dinah”

“Okay,” Dinah said slowly

Barbara caught onto what was probably going through her friend's mind “I’m keeping it, I couldn’t imagine not. I mean this is Dick’s child.”

“So how are you going to keep this a secret?” Dinah asked

Barbara shrugged “I don’t know, I guess they’ll find out at one point. But how will Bruce and my father react?” She shook her head “We weren’t even dating we were just-“

“Dick and Babs?” Dinah questioned

Barbara nodded “Yeah....Bruce I don’t think he’ll care much. But my dad....as far as he knows Dick and I have never had anything more than friendship. He’d freak out”

Barbara doesn’t know why but she decides to tell Wally first. She calls him as soon as she gets out of Dinah’s office and asks to meet him for lunch, Wally never turns down food so of course, he agrees.

They’re sitting in a little Cafe in Polo Alto when she finally works up the nerve to slide the envelope across the table to him

“What’s this?” Wally rose an eyebrow, opening up the envelope he pulled out the ultrasound photos Dinah had printed for her. She didn’t want them, but Dinah insisted if she didn’t she may regret not getting them

Barbara watched as Wally’s eyes scanned over the photos “Are these- is this you?” he questioned

Barbara nodded

He let out a sigh “Congrats I guess” he set the photos down he was quiet for a moment “So this is why you called me for the first time since Dick’s service? You wanted to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

Barbara shook her head “Wally it’s not-“

He cut her off “No Barb, Dick would be happy that you’re moving on really he would. He loved you that much.”

“Wally I’m 11 weeks along” she cut in

Wally’s mouth opened “You mean” he picked up the pictures again “This is”

Barbara nodded “Yeah I just found out a few hours ago. You’re the only one who knows- besides Dinah who told me”

A small smile crept on Wally’s face “Dick is going to be a dad”

Barbara smiled “Yeah I wish he was here”

“Could you imagine if he was here. He’d freak” He handed her the photos back

Barbara shrugged “I’m not sure if he’d freak in a good way or a bad way”

Wally chuckled “Are you kidding me? Sweetie if he knew that his Babs was barring his child he’d be cheering at the top of his lungs. Heck he’d be swinging from the rooftops announcing it to all of Gotham and Bludhaven to hear”

The next person she tells is Tim and Stephanie. It wasn’t planned it kinda just happened a week after her appointment. They’re at the batcomputer when she walks into the cave.

“Hey Barb, it’s actually great that you’re here we could use your help,” Stephanie says in full Spoiler gear

Tim nods “Yeah, how fast do you think you can suit up?”

Barbara shakes her head “I-can’t “

Tim steps away from the computer “Still? Dinah said you needed a break but I figured after a week you’d be itching to get out”

Stephanie stood behind him nodding in agreement

“I can’t for at least another 6 months “ she sighed

They both looked at her oddly

“Are you okay Barbara?” Stephanie stepped forward

Barbara nodded “Guys I’m-“ she paused “I’m having Dick’s child”

They both fell silent “You mean?” His eyes glanced down to Barbara’s stomach then back at her

Stephanie covered her mouth with her hand “This is a plot twist I didn’t see coming”

“Does Bruce know?” Tim whispered

Barbara shook her head “Only Wally, Dinah and now you two know”

The next day she tells Bruce. She figures he’ll figure it out eventually especially now that Tim and Stephanie know. She lights the bat signal and waits for him to show. He lands on the rooftop looking slightly surprised. Something unusual “Barbara,” he says in his batman voice “When do you think you’ll be able to go back on patrol again?”

Barbara shakes her head “Not for a little while”

“He’s the father correct?” Bruce says not looking at her

Barbara shrugged “I figured you’d know”

“There aren’t many things that would require Dinah to request you be out for several months” he retaliates “Plus I know you’re the only one who could drive Dick to be careless”

Barbara nods in agreement

“So answer my question. Dick’s the father correct?” he persists

Barbara glances at him “Do I need to?”

Bruce glances back at her “Am I supposed to say congratulations or good luck?”

Barbara doesn’t respond

“If you come across anything you would like or need just contact Alfred and I will be sure that it is taken care of, and come to the manor whenever need be” he says before grappling off into the Gotham night. He tells Damian and Alfred, Alfred is happy for her but sad that the boy he helped raise won’t be here to see his child. Damian thinks the child will be a great vigilante someday.

Jason finds her, it’s a month later. She’s officially 4 months along and still not showing which is a blessing since her dad still doesn’t know.

Red Hood lands on the balcony to the clock tower. Setting her book down she goes to the sliding glass door and opens it “Hey” she greets

Jason nods stepping in “Hey Barbie” he pecks her on the cheek

She watches him for a moment “Unusual for you to pay random visits hood”

He’s quiet for another moment “Is it true?” He asks glancing around the room

Barbara bites her lip “How’d you hear?”

Jason looks at her “Believe it or not our little family of sorts likes to gossip. So is it? Did you and Dickie boy not wrap it?”

Barbara rolls her eyes typical Jason and nods in response

Jason nods back he looks her up and down “You can’t tell, you don’t have a stomach yet.” He pokes her belly “So is the little rugrat a boy or a girl?”

Barbara shook her head “I don’t know yet”

Jason nods “You been getting along okay?”

Barbara lets out a breath “Believe it or not this has helped me get over Dick’s death”

“Well ya know if you ever need-I mean I'm not gonna be the twerp's new dad- but if need help ever” he stammers

Barbara smiled “Thanks Jay”

Jason looks her over “Well I’m craving a smoke and I’ve heard it ain’t good to smoke around pregnant ladies, I know ole Dickie might come back from the grave if I put his offspring in danger” he says and before she knows it he’s gone

It’s a month later, she’s a little over 20 weeks and she still hasn’t told her dad. She knows she can’t keep the secret much longer. She finally begins forming a subtle bump. She knows she’s lucky she was able to hide it for this long.

Barbara wakes up in a hospital bed, her hands immediately going to her stomach. She thinks back last she remembered she was in the Batcave working on a case. She had thrown herself full-fledged into her duties as Oracle working long hours. “Barb!” She instantly hears her dad rushing to her bedside “Timothy Drake called, he said you passed out at Wayne Manor. He brought you here”

Barbara blinked the realization coming to her

“It took me forever to find you. The maternity ward? Why are you here.”

“Dad” she breathed “I’m-“

Before she could continue a Doctor walked in

“Miss.Gordon, glad to see you’re awake I’m Dr.Fraggs.” He shook her hand then her dads

“Doctor is everything alright? Is my baby okay?” Barbara immediately asks, not caring if her father was in the room

Fraggs smiled “Yes we did an ultrasound as soon as you came in. Your baby is fine- would you like to see him?”

“Him” Barbara repeated

Fraggs nodded “You didn’t know?”

Barbara shook her head and laid back allowing the Doctor to proceed with the ultrasound “He’s quite the little mover” he remarked upon seeing the baby flip around on the screen

Barbara smiled “Yeah I can tell, I feel him all the time” she continued to watch the baby moving on the screen.

“Well, Miss. Gordon, we determined the reason for your blackout was you have been overexerting yourself.” He said as he turned off the machine a few minutes later. “So do me a favor and tone it down a little I don’t want to see you back here till it’s time for that bouncing baby boy of yours to be born”

As soon as the Doctor exited the room her father who had been silent spoke up “Mind telling me what that was about”

Barbara inhaled a breath “I’m pregnant”

Jim nodded “I see that were you planning on telling me?”

Barbara shrugged “When the timing was right”

He glanced at the image of the baby that was replayed on the screen “Who’s the father”

“I don’t know, I woke up from a drunken night in some guys bed. I was so ashamed I left before he woke up” Barbara lied

Jim nodded “I see.” He was quiet “I’ll help you through this” he assured than a smile formed on his face “Hey I’m going to have a grandson. Another Gordon right?”

Barbara flashed her father a smile as she mentally though “And another Grayson”

#Dickbabs #dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #batgirl #DickBabs fanfiction #batman #dinah lance #batfamily headcanons #batfam fanfiction #batfam imagine #Jason Todd #red hood

145 notes · View notes

choicesfanatic86 · 6 years

Text

TTS: Part 38 (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story. Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS: Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY: Seeing their baby brings about a whole wave of emotions.

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing. CATCH UP HERE

Permanent Tag List: @umccall71 @drakelover78 @jamielea81 @bobasheebaby @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @theroyalweisme @gardeningourmet @jlouise88 @hamulau @traeumerinwitzhelden @blackcatkita @mrs-simmy @kaitycole @alwaysthebestchoice @mfackenthal @trr-duchessofvaltoria

Tag List for TTS Only: @herladyshipxx @devineinterventions2 @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys @boneandfur @spetstoof @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @mspaigemoore @jayjay879 @hhiggs @penguininapinktuxedo @topsyturvy-dream @diamond-dreamland @pnhanga @ladynonsense @mrsdrakewalkerblog @crookedslimecreatorpasta @liamxsworld @flowerpowell @bruteforcebears @withice @jared2612 @darley1101

06/02/2018 - More to come tomorrow! :) Just giving you a little taste of what’s to come. This was originally going to be a part of one big chapter, but I just figured since I was away for a while, I’d give you something to read before tomorrow! :)

As always, just shoot me a message or comment with requests to be added to the permanent tag or story tag. :)

PART 38 - Galloping Horses

Riley bit her lip, trying to conceal the smile that so desperately wanted to break out across her face. He showed up. He hadn’t turned away from the baby. He wanted to be involved. A rush of emotions raged through her body, but she held back the happy tears that threatened to flow freely.

“Wonderful,” Dr. Scoggin said happily. “Just in time. We were just going to go over mom and dad’s medical history,” she explained to Liam, motioning for him to have a seat.

Liam took a seat in one of the chairs that were across from the examination table. Riley had laid back, still in a state of surprise and relief all rolled into one. It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders. She gave a glance to where he was sitting. She had never seen him so nervous before. He wore jeans and a t-shirt with some athletic shoes. He had dressed down for the appointment. It was a nice look for him. He looked so . . . normal. She was always so accustomed to seeing him dressed in formal-wear or his regal uniform, however this side of Liam . . . the laid-back Liam, was attractive. She stopped herself from going further. She couldn’t think like that. Not anymore. She had the lima bean to think about. Nope, going there with him again would just make things more complicated than they already were.

“So,” Dr. Scoggin smiled at both of them. “Are there any sort of medical conditions in any of your immediate families? Diabetes, Cancer, Asthma? Genetic abnormalities?” She asked, her pen at the ready.

Riley glanced toward Liam, swallowing thickly. “Well . . . I had a history of asthma when I was a kid . . . My mom had some pre-cancerous polyps a while back. No real other issues in my family. I have a cousin that has lupus,” she shrugged. “Otherwise pretty healthy,” she said nervously.

“And you, Dad?” The doctor turned her attention to Liam.

Riley caught a small smile play on his lips when the doctor said the word “dad.” What a transformation from the previous night. She found it difficult to believe that the man sitting before her was the same man that she had argued with the previous night. She wondered what had happened to change his mind about things. Maybe he really did just need some time to work things out on his own.

“My father . . . he, uh, passed away from cancer a short while ago,” Liam said, his voice cracking a little. “No other major medical conditions that I’m aware of.”

“Great,” Dr. Scoggin murmured as she jotted all of the information down. “Okay, so the good news is you’re both fairly young and healthy. The older you get, the risks for genetic abnormalities or problems with the pregnancy tend to increase. Everything looks good right now,” she smiled. “The only speed bump seems to be the hyperemesis gravidarum.”

“Hyperemesis gravidarum?” Liam asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Mom here has been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. In pregnancy, a woman will endure an excessive amount of vomiting. It tends to last at least through the first half of the pregnancy. Sometimes it wanes as time goes on,” she explained.

“That’s why you were hospitalized,” Liam frowned, looking at Riley.

She nodded. “The lima bean had quite a dramatic way of making himself known,” she chuckled.

He sucked a breath in, his forehead wrinkled in concern. “Is it dangerous?”

“It can be, if left untreated. Dehydration is one of the biggest risk factors for mom,” Dr. Scoggin noted. “It’s not too common; maybe 1-2% of pregnant women will suffer from it. Even then there’s varying degrees in severity. Riley here appears to have a moderate level, but we won’t know how severe it is until the pregnancy progresses a bit further.”

Liam’s eyebrows furrowed deeply. The wrinkles in his forehead were deep crevices. He was concerned. It was written all over his face. “Should she be in the hospital?”

Dr. Scoggin shook her head. “She’s fine right now, I assure you.” She noticed the doubt flit across Liam’s face. “It’s okay to be a bit unnerved by such a diagnosis, but tens of thousands of pregnant women have this and they deliver perfectly healthy babies,” she assured them. “Let’s prove it to you and take a look at your baby,” she smiled brightly.

She sat on her rolling chair, fiddling with the buttons and monitor. She moved over to Riley, and she started to shift the paper gown aside to expose her abdomen. Liam watched intently as the doctor pulled out the tube of gel.

“Just going to be a bit cold at first, but then I promise you’ll get used to it as the exam goes on,” she said.

“Oh, they had to do a transvaginal ultrasound at the hospital,” Riley began to object. “They couldn’t find the baby this way,” she explained.

“Don’t worry, if the abdominal ultrasound doesn’t work, we’ll use that technique, but I have a lot of years of practice,” she smiled. “You’re almost ten weeks, so we just might be lucky enough to see the baby this way.”

Riley nodded, but still felt a bit skeptical about it considering her last ultrasounds were merely days ago. She had hoped that the transvaginal ultrasound wouldn’t be necessary. That would be a tad bit embarrassing to have in front of Liam. She didn’t care how many times he had seen her naked, it would still give her a bit of the heeby jeebies to have him witness that sort of procedure being done on her.

Dr. Scoggin moved the ultrasound wand around her belly for a while. Riley waited anxiously, gazing at the screen, waiting for something to pop up. A few moments later, there he was. The lima bean in all his glory. She couldn’t help but smile as she saw him.

“I told you . . . with a little patience and some skill,” Dr. Scoggin chuckled. “I’m just going to take some measurements and snap some images for you both.”

Riley took a quick look at Liam. His eyes were glued to the monitor. He had leaned forward a bit in his chair to get a better look. The expression was one of awe and wonder. He was clearly amazed by the little life they had created.

“It’s so tiny,” he murmured. “And it’s moving so quickly,” he noted.

“Yes, lots of movement, but mom won’t feel it for quite some time. Maybe not at least for another six to seven weeks,” she explained.

Liam reached across to grab Riley’s hand, but hesitated. She saw the worry in his face. She remembered how she had pulled away from his the previous night when he had tried to hold her hand. She sighed. They were back at square one again, but she couldn’t worry about the status of their pseudo-relationship now. She had a chance to see her little lima bean, and she wasn’t going to squander the opportunity.

Dr. Scoggin pulled another device off of the cart with the monitor stationed on it. She pushed it against Riley’s tummy and instantly a whooshing noise filled the space around them.

“What’s that?” Liam asked, a puzzled look on his face. “Is that . . .” he trailed off, realization dawning on him.

“Your baby’s heartbeat,” Dr. Scoggin smiled.

Riley’s eyes began to water. All of the emotions that had been bottled up inside of her since Liam had walked into the room flowed out of her freely.

“It sounds like galloping horses,” she covered her mouth in awe. She’d only seen the fluttering heartbeat on the ultrasound at the hospital that first time. She didn’t even remember the second ultrasound because she had been passed out. This . . . hearing their baby’s heartbeat was nothing short of a miracle.

“Amazing,” Liam murmured.

Riley gazed at Liam with watery eyes. “Isn’t it?” She sighed, feeling so content. Who know that seeing their little baby flitting across the monitor could make her feel so happy?

“Do you mind if I record this?” He asked, his eyes meeting Riley’s.

“He’s your baby, too, Liam. You don’t have to ask,” she gave him a half-smile.

He pulled out his cell phone, and started to record the sound echoing through the room as well as the image of their baby moving across the screen.

“Okay folks, I’m going to move on to the next part of the exam,” she said as she started to turn off the monitor. “We’re going to need to do a pap smear and also get some bloodwork done.”

Riley sat up, wrapping the paper gown back around her. “More pokes?” she asked in dismay. “I feel like a pin cushion as is,” she sighed.

Dr. Scoggin chuckled lightly. “Get used to it, you’ll probably be poked and prodded over the course of this pregnancy. It gets better,” she assured her.

“So, I’m just going to get ready for the pap smear,” Dr. Scoggin said, sifting through a cabinet off behind the monitor.

“And I will take that as my cue to wait outside,” Liam stood, nodding politely. “I’ll give you your privacy, Riley, but perhaps we can talk after the appointment?” He asked softly.

She nodded. “Excellent, I’ll wait for you in the front. Dr. Scoggin, it’s been a pleasure,” he smiled.

“Dad, any questions before you go? Last chance until the next visit,” she said.

“Actually . . . there is a question I’ve had in mind,” he stopped short of opening the exam room’s door. “How soon before she’s able to travel?”

Riley’s head snapped toward Liam. Travel? Then it hit her smack dab in the face. He intended for her to return to Cordonia with them. That wasn’t the plan. She started to sit upright to look him in the eyes. She needed him to know that going back to Cordonia was not an option. Not now. Not ever. She and the baby were going to stay in New York. She’d give birth *-here. She’d raise the baby here. That was non-negotiable.

“I don’t see any reason for there to be any travel restrictions as long as she doesn’t exhaust herself. Long flights can be a bit uncomfortable for women with hyperemesis, but as long as she’s comfortable, it shouldn’t be a problem,” she smiled brightly. “Thinking of a bit of a babymoon?” She asked.

Riley blushed. “It’s not like that,” she muttered, shaking her head.

Liam frowned a bit. “I’m from Europe, and I was hoping she’d come back with me so that I can take care of her,” he explained.

“Ah,” Dr. Scoggin nodded in understanding. “I see. Well, if you are thinking of relocating, the sooner the better would be ideal,” she explained. “As the pregnancy gets further along, I wouldn’t recommend traveling internationally. The stresses that come with a move can also be detrimental to the pregnancy.”

Liam nodded at her in gratitude. “Thank you again,” he said. “I’ll meet you outside,” he said softly to Riley.

She could only nod. She was still reeling from the idea of him wanting her to go back to Cordonia with him.

The pap smear and bloodwork had gone a lot smoother than Riley had expected. Perhaps she had become accustomed to all the uncomfortable tests after being in the hospital so many times over the last week.

“I’m going to get some photos printed out for you, and then I’m going to have you schedule another appointment in two weeks. I don’t think you’ll need to see me much longer. Although you are considered a bit more high risk because of your hyperemesis diagnosis, as long as you continue to take the anti-nausea medication and stay hydrated, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Any questions?”

Riley shook her head.

“Great, I’ll see you in two weeks. Go ahead and get changed, and you can meet my receptionist up front to set your next appointment up,” she smiled.

“Thank you, Dr. Scoggin.”

Riley became lost in her thoughts as she tossed the paper gown in the trash and changed back into her regular clothing. She didn’t want to fight with Liam, especially after they had shared such an amazing experience together, but she just couldn’t let him think that he was going to take control over this pregnancy. Last night it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with the lima bean, now . . . now he was talking about her going back to Cordonia. He couldn’t dictate what she was going to do. If she wanted to stay in New York, she’d stay in New York. She could do this on her own. It’d be difficult, of course, but he could fly down for visits. She’d never deprive him of any of the medical information regarding the pregnancy. Technology was great. She could text him pictures and videos from the appointments. Heck, she could probably even facetime or skype with him during the actual appointment if he wanted to be present at all of the future visits. She didn’t have to move to Cordonia just because she was pregnant with his child. Nope. Not happening.

When Riley exited the exam room and went back into the waiting room, she noticed that Liam had firmly planted himself on one of the chairs. “Ready?”

“I just have to make another appointment,” she said curtly. Liam must have sensed her anger as he took a step back towards the door. She sighed. She hadn’t wanted to snap at him, but she just couldn’t stand the presumptions that were being made on his part. When she was finished, she walked toward the door, which Liam politely opened for her.

As soon as they stepped foot out of the office, she let her irritation rip at him.

“How soon can she travel?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Really Liam?” She brushed pass him pressing the elevator button forcefully.

“Riley . . .”

“Let me get this straight . . . last night you have a major meltdown about this baby . . . act as if you want nothing to do with him, and now you want to take care of me? Don’t get me wrong here, Liam. I’m so happy that you came today. I want you to be a part of our baby’s life, but I’m not going back to Cordonia with you.”

“Yes, you are.” He stated simply.

“No . . . I’m not,” she said adamantly.

He grabbed her wrist, pulling her into his embrace. “I love you, Riley Lawson. We’re having a baby, and I plan to be with you every step of the way. I’ve already missed so much, and I don’t plan on missing anything else when it comes to this pregnancy. I know I screwed up . . . it seems what I do best when it comes to us, but I want to make it up to you. I need to, for our baby’s sake,” his hand reaches out toward her flat stomach. “Give me a chance to take care of you . . . the both of you.”

#the royal romance #theroyalromance #choices: stories you play #choices #playchoices #choices fandom #choices the royal romance #the royal romance fan fic #royal romance #trr au #trr fanfic #trr #choices trr #trr fic #liam #liam x riley

137 notes · View notes

growingasuperhero · 5 years

Text

January 9th 2019

I am seven weeks three days pregnant. Two days ago I went to bed with light cramping and chalked it up to my uterus stretching. Yesterday when I woke up I realized I was spotting. I called my new OB to see if they could see me today but because this isn’t a “medically established” pregnancy they said my best bet at being seen today would be to call my old OB office. They were incredibly sweet with me on the phone and the receptionist set up a standard “pregnancy confirmation” appointment when I’m eight weeks. She said after talking to the nurse practitioner the best she was able to offer me was two days from now, but my old office would be better since they have an established base line with me (as in they’d probably see me today). Realistically I knew all this but I despise my old office and told them after my six week post check up I’d never be back.

Given the circumstance I called the old OB and inquired about being seen today. They told me there isn’t anything they could do regarding coming in. They offered to see me at nine weeks to confirm whether it’s a viable pregnancy or not. Then they said they’d call the on-call OB to see if he thought I should come in today. THREE hours later they call me back and say I need to go to the ER to get bloodwork and an ultrasound because the pregnancy might not be viable.

I honestly prepared myself for the worst, and so did Dick. We, including Tessa, spent seven hours in the ER last night. As soon as I walked in the ER receptionist said they’re going to fast-track us into the back room’s waiting room given the reason I was there, but it’d still be a half hour before that. Someone came and took my blood and shortly after that we were put in the back. We were there for hours before transferred to ultrasound, and at ultrasound they refused to let Dick in the room.

In the room the tech said she’s not allowed to disclose anything, or show me the screen. As soon as she started she actually turned the screens away from me. She took so many images I was certain the baby wasn’t viable. I sobbed. It was a terrible experience. When we went back to the room I explained what happened to Dick and I cried some more saying our baby wasn’t going to make it. Another nurse came in to collect an urine sample and offer us food. She said after that test they’d just be waiting for all the results to come back and a doctor would be in to tell us what was what.

A practitioner came in, so sweet, and she went over the bloodwork. She realized they didn’t check my hormone levels though, so went into the hall to call to see if they had another vial of my blood to test. At that point Dick took a second and looked at the computer and said from what he could tell everything looked okay. This is the moment where I gave myself some hope. Maybe the baby is okay.

Hours go by. Practitioner returns and goes over the ultrasound. Singular pregnancy. Low heart rate. Threatened miscarriage BUT the baby is hanging on. She said they’re measuring a week behind based on my last period so that could explain the low heart rate. We’d need to have another vial of blood to test hormone levels to make sure they’re were they should be for a seven week old pregnancy. She said the bleeding is likely because of a cyst outside my cervix. When the final hormone level came back it said that I’m roughly seven weeks pregnant: totally normal levels. She put in my discharge papers to be seen in two days to test hormone levels again, and a recommended ultrasound. If the levels double everything is okay, but at the moment my diagnosis is threatened miscarriage.

She said it’s possible the measurements are off because my medical history says Tessa measured small every appointment but was born a good size. She also stressed an embryo is different compared to a baby though. She did say my first ultrasound with Tessa at eight weeks had her measuring smaller too. It’s in the old OB’s paperwork.

Anyway, I’ll be calling the new OB office to see if I can be seen tomorrow. I’m not to return to work until Friday but I wasn’t scheduled at all this weekend, so I get a week off.

#mumblr #momblr #pregblr #second pregnancy #personal

1 note · View note

crippleprophet · 2 years

Note

looking through your AS doc ive had a bit of an "oh" moment... it explains me and my symptoms so well. i dont really know what to do next, because i have a feeling going through the nhs is going to get me nowhere.

one question: do you know if theres a link between RA and AS? my grandmother had RA and i was wondering if there could be a familial/ genetic link or if its just chance

(thanks so much for your info on AS!!!!)

thank you so much, i’m so so glad it’s been helpful for you!! i actually have the unique experience of going through both the us american healthcare system and the NHS due to studying abroad, so this was my experience:

US (note that i had a really good rheumatologist, my gf looked at reviews for every doctor in the state)

i & my doctor thought from my symptoms i had AS

diagnostic blood tests for ESR, CRP, HLA-B27, RF, ANA, complete blood count, complete metabolic panel

pre-medication blood tests for hepatitis A & C, HIV, tuberculosis

urine panel

chest x-ray

MRI of spine and SI joint

after getting these tests and while waiting on results, my rheum put me on 20mg prednisone daily for a week.

results: elevated ESR outside normal range, elevated CRP within normal range, low vitamin D. everything else was normal. negative x-ray; MRI showed herniated disk but not inflammation.

because my bloodwork showed inflammation and the prednisone helped my pain and fatigue, my rheum said my pain was definitely inflammatory, diagnosed me with AS, and prescribed me Humira. i started out with injections every other week and then increased to weekly after 3 months when i still had a lot of pain in other joints. occasionally received short-term 20mg prednisone daily during flares.

NHS

got set up with a GP in mid-September, had appointment in early October for referral to continue Humira. they referred me urgently and because i already had an AS diagnosis and had been on 20mg prednisone as-needed before, they gave me some prednisone for flares (although definitely not enough to last the wait time).

received a rheumatology appointment for February 4. they said they needed to confirm the diagnosis and put me on etoricoxib (NSAID not available in the US).

got switched to celecoxib (NSAID) after 9 days because the first med didn’t do anything and gave me bad side effects (GI upset, vertigo). new med was not very effective but helped slightly and didn’t give me side effects.

blood tests for CRP, HLA-B27, hepatitis A & C, HIV, tuberculosis. chest x-ray; MRI of spine and SI joint. same results as before.

i received a phone appointment in April and they said because there wasn’t inflammation in my MRI, i was in remission and any pain i was experiencing was “leftover” from previous inflammation, but i was no longer inflamed. this was obviously bullshit because i was in the worst pain of my life and wholly unable to function. they kept me on celecoxib and referred me to physical therapy, and didn’t do anything else. i survived until i got back to the US by taking prednisone that i acquired extralegally.

so you could either try to go through the NHS and be prepared to go private later if you didn’t meet their strict diagnostic criteria (they follow the NICE guidelines) or fundraise etc to go private without going through the NHS if the waitlist was too long. personally i think it’s worth considering going through the NHS until you’ve gotten imaging and bloodwork so you don’t have to pay for that, but it depends on your time-sensitivity. i also don’t know how common it is for private UK doctors to contradict the NHS in their diagnosis.

we don’t know enough about how AS and RA work to know how they might be connected, just that certain things (mainly rheumatoid factor versus HLA-B27) are associated differently, but seronegative RA is definitely possible as is HLA-B27— AS. as with the overlap between a lot of autoimmune diseases, some people have both AS and RA, although if the true rate of comorbidity is known i haven’t been able to find it. anecdotally my grandmother had RA, too!

thank you again and best of luck to you 💕💕 feel free to send me another ask or DM me if there’s anything else i can help with!

#ankylosing spondylitis #axspa #asks

8 notes · View notes

jaceyneedsabetterusername · 6 years

Text

All I Need~ Part 4

Pairings: Josh Dun x Pregnant!Reader

Overview: You move to Columbus, Ohio to live with your brother after your ex-boyfriend becomes abusive after telling him of a surprise pregnancy. You become involved in the church and unknowingly befriend the Dun family. After finally meeting Josh, there’s a connection between the two of you that lands you in some complicated situations.

Warnings: None for this chapter.

Y/N = Your Name

Y/B/N = Your Brother’s Name

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“I’m heading out! Be back around five!” Y/B/N yelled as he closed the door, leaving to go who-knows-where.

“Bye!” You yelled back even though he’d already shut the door. Now that he was finally gone, you grabbed your computer and set it on the scratched wooden coffee table. You walked to your bedroom, grabbing a loose blanket from your bed and laying it on the floor in the living room floor. With a groan, you lowered yourself to the floor. You were only ten weeks along but your back already hurt. Clicking to Youtube on your computer, you began talking to yourself as you typed, “Yoga for pregnancy.”

You clicked on the first video that looked good and began trying to follow along with the instructor on your makeshift yoga mat. At first, the moves were uncomfortable, not used to exercising while growing a human, “I hope the internet is right about this.” You sighed to yourself, bending into another position.

After about ten minutes, the stretches became relieving and you felt more energized and comfortable than you had since you began showing. Three videos later, you hadn’t even realized that nearly an hour had passed. At the end of the third video, you could no longer ignore how badly you had to pee and you felt for the restroom. When you came back, your phone was lit up. A reminder had popped up on the screen: Dr. Leslie Thurs-12:30. “Crap!” You said out loud. You had completely forgotten about the appointment! You glanced at the clock on your phone. 12:05. “CRAP!” You yelled, dialing your brother’s phone number and praying he would be able to give you a ride. After one ring, you got the voicemail. His phone was dead.

You scrolled through your contacts looking for anyone who could give you a ride. There was Allison, another younger lady at your church but you remembered she had to work today. Then you saw Denise’s number. No, she was a senior in high school so she would be at school. Nobody else lived in Columbus. Until you scrolled by Josh’s name. You hit the call button and waited for him to answer. “Hello?” His voice answered smoothly.

“Hi Josh! Uh, this is Y/N.” You said, trying not to sound too frantic.

“Oh hey! What’s up?” He asked.

“Um, I have a favor to ask if you’re not too busy. I completely forgot I had a doctor’s appointment for the baby and my brother left with the car. Would you be able to maybe give me a ride? You don’t need to stay or anything I just need to get there.” You asked, hoping he would be willing to help.

There was a very brief pause on the other end before he spoke, “Uh, yeah I can do that! What time?”

“12:30.” You said, your tone clearly telling him how sorry you were about the short notice.

He laughed a little bit, “Wow, you like to cut it close. I’ll be right there. Where do you live?”

You gave him your address and thanked him at least four times before finally hanging up. You jogged into your bedroom, grabbing a clean pair of grey leggings and putting on a black tank top. You quickly put your black converse on, still the only shoes you owned for some reason. Walking quickly to the bathroom, you threw your hair up into a bun, seeing there was no hope in leaving it down. It took you about 5 minutes to get completely ready. Right as you pulled a red flannel from from your closet, there was a knock on the door. Josh was standing there, keys in hand, when you opened the door, “Ready?” He asked with a smile.

“One second.” You tried to smile through your racing heartbeat. You ran to kitchen, grabbing an apple and two granola bars before hustling back to Josh, “Okay, we can go. Thank you so much again.” You told him, closing the door behind you and walking to his car.

“No problem. I was just leaving Tyler’s parents anyways so it was perfect timing.” He unlocked the car and opened your door for you before getting in the drivers side.

“And like I said earlier, you don’t have to stay the whole the time.” You said, silently offering a granola bar.

He shook his head, “No thanks. But I’m not not staying. How are you supposed to get home?” He cocked an eyebrow at you.

You rolled your eyes, “Okay, fine, if you want to be logical.” Reading the street signs, you pointed out the window, “Turn right.”

Soon you were at the office and speed-walking to the door. “So what exactly is appointment for?” Josh asked.

“Bloodwork, probably. Maybe an ultrasound.” You shrugged. You made your way to the office and signed in. Soon you were called back and sitting on a bed, Josh in a chair next to you. You laughed inwardly as you watched his eyes float from a poster with the anatomy of female sex organs on it to a poster explaining the ten most common STDs.

“You took real risk coming here. You have to be careful or you’ll get pregnant. Maybe even grow some boobs.” You teased.

“Oh, is that how it works?” He asked.

You gave him a mock look of surprise, “Didn’t you know pregnancy and boobs are infectious?”

Josh looked at you, mimicking almost your exact expression, “That explains so much.”

A knock on the door interrupted your conversation as Dr. Leslie walked in, “Hi Y/N! Nice to see you again.” She shook your hand and looked at Josh, “And this is?”

“Josh.” You and him said at the same time.

She extended her hand, “Nice to meet you Josh.” Dr. Leslie turned back to you, looking through the papers on her clipboard, “Okay, well it looks like we need to do a little bit of blood work just to make sure all your levels are still good and then we’re going to do another ultrasound to see about that irregular heartbeat.”

You nodded, “Sounds good.” You said, trying to sound more upbeat despite the fact that you were terrified about the possibility of losing your baby. That’s just a worse case scenario, you told yourself.

“Alrighty then. The nurse will be in in just a second to get your blood and I’ll be right back afterwards to get that ultrasound done so we can check on baby.” Dr. Leslie’s bounced out of the room, her bubbly vibe refusing to leave the small space. The nurse came in a few minutes later and took your blood before leaving.

While you waited for Dr. Leslie to return, Josh looked at you, “So what’s up with the baby’s heart?” He asked cautiously.

You bit your lip, “During the last ultrasound the baby’s heartbeat sounded irregular. She said it could be nothing or it could be serious but not to panic.”

“You’re panicking, aren’t you?” He asked understandingly.

You chuckled a little, “Oh yeah.”

The door swung open and in walked Dr. Leslie, “Who’s ready to see a baby?!” She nearly squealed, sitting on the rolling chair and pulling the ultrasound machine towards the bed. “Okey dokey, pull your shirt up for me please.” You pulled your tank top over your slightly swollen stomach as she put her gloves of and grabbed the bottle of gel. Your whole body shivered as she squeezed the cold liquid onto your abdomen. “Can you get the lights please?” She asked Josh. He looked behind him for the switch, flicking it down.

She grabbed the little handheld device and began running it over your belly, looking for the baby. “There they are!” She said.

“You wanna see?” You asked Josh, seeing how tense he was. He nodded, standing up next you.

Dr. Leslie pointed at the little white blob on the screen of fuzzy grey and black, “That’s the baby, right there.” A smile spread across Josh’s face.

“That is so cool!” He looked closely at the image on the screen.

“Okay, let’s check that heartbeat.” She said, pressing a button. Thumps began filling the room. They didn’t sound any different than they did in the last ultrasound. Your own heart rate began speeding up in fear. Dr. Leslie’s face looked concerned but she kept searching around with the device.

Suddenly, her eyes widened in shock then a wide smile appeared on her face, “This would definitely explain the irregular sounding heartbeat.”

“What is it?” You asked, confused at her happy look.

She pointed at the screen, circling a white blob with her finger, “This here is a baby.” She moved the ultrasound a little more and another white spot appeared on the screen that she pointed too, “And here’s another baby.”

Your heart dropped to your feet. “Twins?” You asked in absolute shock.

“Twins.” She confirmed with a smile.

“No heart problem?” You asked.

“No heart problem.” She responded.

“Oh my gosh…” You’re brain could barely process anything other than the word twins.

Dr. Leslie saw the fact that you weren’t exactly excited and kept talking in hopes you could understand everything better, “Because of your age, having twins isn’t going to be a problem. You’re young, you don’t have a history of smoking, and drug and alcohol abuse so you don’t have a high risk pregnancy. However, because they are twins, some things will be different. You’re going to need to come in more often. Also, to reduce the chance of birth defects you’ll need more folic acid.”

You put your hand up to stop her, “Wait, how is this even possible? There was only one baby last time.”

“It’s uncommon but there are some times that we miss twins in ultrasounds until about the 12 week mark. It would explain your concerns about the size of your belly compared to other women.” She told you.

“Are you okay?” Josh asked and you realized you hadn’t said anything for a few seconds.

You shook yourself out of the daze, “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… a lot.”

Dr. Leslie grabbed your hand gently, “I know this seems difficult given the circumstances but I promise you that twins really are a blessing. But, if you decide that you would like to make a different choice because of the twins, I can give you some resources concerning adoption. I know abortion is out of the question for you.”

“Thank you but I’m keeping these babies. It’s just a shock. I’ll figure it out.” You reassured her.

She stood up, handing you a stack of pictures from your ultrasound. “Alright. I’ll get you some pamphlets regarding a twin pregnancy since some things will be different. You can make your next appointment at the front desk. Any other questions?” You shook your head. “It was nice to meet you, Josh.” She said, shaking Josh’s hand again.

“Thank you again for the ride.” You told Josh once you were in the car again.

“No problem. Thanks for letting me tag along for the appointment. I’ve never seen one of those ultrasound machines in action and hearing that - those heartbeats was pretty incredible.” He was grinning. You found yourself smiling at how excited he seemed over this.

“Well if your free, maybe I could treat you to lunch as a thank you?” You asked, hoping he would say yes. Having Josh with you today made you feel comfortable and you knew you’d be panicking more if he weren’t there. You weren’t quite ready for him to leave.

He began laughing at you, “Were the four ‘thank you’s’ not enough thanking?”

You cocked your eyebrow at him, “Do you want lunch for not?”

He put his hands up, “Okay, where to?”

You thought for a second, “There’s this nice little Mexican food shop by my work that has the best tacos in town. It’s about ten minutes away. Sound good?”

“Sounds awesome. Just tell me where to go.”

Twenty five minutes later, you sat across the table from Josh inside a little restaurant with yellow walls, “Are you ready to have your mind blown by these tacos?” You asked.

Josh looked at you, “If these don’t blow my mind I’m going to be mad that you hyped them up so much.” Both of you grabbed a taco from the plates in front of you and bit into them. You watched, gauging Josh for a reaction. “Okay, these are pretty freaking awesome.”

“Told you!” You laughed, taking a bite of your taco. “So, Mr. Dun, tell me about yourself. I see I’ve spilled my life story to you but I don’t know much about you.”

He looked down, smiling, “What do you want to know?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, surprise me!”

He thought for a second, “I love aliens.”

Your eyes widened in mock shock, “Really? I had no idea!”

His eyes widened to match yours, “Shocking, isn’t it?”

You dropped your taco on the plate and waved your hands over exaggeratedly, “I never would have guessed from that alien ski mask you wear at concerts.” You both laughed but he didn’t say anything and you panicked slightly, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to keep bringing up the whole music thing.”

Josh looked at you with a mouthful of food, “Oh no! Don’t worry about it! Tyler and I both know, the band is apart of our lives so of course it’s gonna come up.”

“Okay good. Just making sure.” You tried to recover feebly.

Suddenly, the waitress appeared next to your table, “Anything else I can get you?” You and Josh glanced at each other before telling her no thank you. “Alright, well here’s the check for whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you.” You both smiled at her. You reached into your purse to grab your wallet but you saw Josh’s hand reach towards the check. You glanced up briefly to see a card sticking out of the small black folder.

“What do you think you’re doing? This was my treat.” You asked him, removing his card and tossing it to him before digging through your wallet for some cash.

He rolled his eyes, putting the card back in the folder, “Please, considering everything,” his eyes flashed to your belly, “You need to save all the money you can. It’s my treat.”

Suddenly, a flash of indignance struck through you, “I can support myself. I don’t need your help but thank you.” You tried to cover the irritation you felt towards him, knowing that he didn’t mean it that way. Stupid hormones.

Josh’s eyes widened, “I didn’t mean that you can’t support yourself!” He quickly defended, “I just meant that two babies is a lot for anyone, especially when only one parent is raising them.”

You sighed, “I know you didn’t mean it offensively. I’m sorry. It’s just, there’s a lot of people who think I can’t do it on my own.”

He reached across the table and held your hand gently, “Whoever thinks that is an idiot. You are Y/N Freaking L/N, that cool tough girl who punched her jerk ex in the face and moved a few states over to protect your babies. If anyone is able to support themselves, it’s you. You’re strong, you’re smart, you’re caring and responsible, and if there’s anyone who can do this it’s you. Nobody doubts it at all.” Your eyes went from your hands to his eyes and you found yourself unable to look away. His dark eyes stared into yours so genuinely, you could feel how sincere he was about every word he said.

His thumb started rubbing circles on your hand and your heart began to flutter. Butterflies flew about in your stomach. But as you realized you’d been looking at each other just a few moments too long, you remembered that this couldn’t actually happen. You pulled your hands back and broke the eye contact, “Thank you Josh.”

Josh just smiled at you and you felt your face turn red under his gaze. You quickly looked away and dug through your wallet, grabbing the money for lunch and putting it on the table, “This is still my treat and you can just shut up about it.” You stated matter-of-factly with a smile. “You ready to go?”

“Ugh fine! But I’ll treat you back though!” He said standing up from his chair.

You followed suit, “I think that sort of defeats the purpose of me treating you to lunch as a thank you. You’re just gonna start a cycle of pay back!” “If it means I get to see you more often, I’ll consider that a pretty good cycle to start.” He said as you walked out the building. As you walked back to his car, you noticed he was walking closer to you than normal. His hands nearly grazed yours when they swung with your steps.

After those words, you chuckled nervously, “Yeah. You’re right.” You said quietly, mentally overthinking his statement. Did he actually like you or was he just being nice?

Josh glanced at his watch, “Oh crap… I totally forgot I have to be somewhere at 4:00. It’s 3:20 now. I’m sorry!” He apologized.

“Don’t worry about it! Thank you for everything anyways!” The two of you drove back to your house singing the songs on the radio at the top of your lungs.

Just as you pulled up, you unbuckled your seat belt to get out and noticed Josh was doing the same, “Where are you going?” You questioned with a curious laugh.

“What kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn’t walk you to the door?” He smiled.

You glanced at the door, “It’s like twenty feet away!”

“A lot could happen in twenty feet! How could I forgive myself if something happened?” He joked.

You jokingly sighed, “Okay, fine! I’ll let you walk me to the door!”

Both of you got out and you walked to the door. Halfway there, you shoved his arm lightly and he stumbled, not expecting the push, “You are so lucky you’re pregnant!” He laughed. You stuck your tongue out at him. Before you knew it, you were at the door. “Okay, well I guess I’ll see you later then.” He said, his beautiful smile never leaving his face.

“Yeah, I guess you will.” You smiled back. Neither of you moved though. You just stood there looking at each other until the tension was almost uncomfortable. You bit your lip as you gazed at him, moving your eyes from his and looking briefly at the ground. He took a small step closer to you and you panicked a little, standing up straight, “Thank you again for the ride.” You managed, leaning forward to hug him.

Josh seemed momentarily taken aback but quickly reached his arms around your body, careful not squeeze you too hard. You pulled back, “Um, I’ll let you get to wherever you need to be. Drive safe.” You told him.

“You be safe doing whatever you’re gonna do too.” He laughed as he turned back to his car. You waved at him as he drove off before going back into your house.

Once you made it your room, you flopped back first onto your bed. Life was getting more difficult than you expected.

#josh dun #josh dun x reader #josh x reader #josh dun smut #josh dun fluff #all i need #twenty one pilots

25 notes · View notes

atlanticcanada · 2 years

Text

'A crisis in terms of human resources:' Dr. Jennifer Russell on health-care system strain

Doctors in New Brunswick say they don’t know what to expect next, as 571 medical professionals isolate due to COVID-19.

"I can't tell you what tomorrow is going to look like, I can't tell you what next week is going to look like, I can tell you that it's going to be a rough couple of weeks going forward and we need people to be patient with us because I don't have a crystal ball or an exact solution,” said Dr. Mark MacMillan, president of the N.B. Medical Society.

One general practitioner in the province is calling for a lockdown.

"I really do think we should have a lockdown at this point similar to what Ontario’s done, where we close all non essential businesses at least for a circuit breaker period of time just to allow some mitigation of this virus,” said Dr. Roxanne MacKnight.

New Brunswick's Chief Medical Officer of Health says they only expect cases to increase as Omicron spreads.

"It's predictable at this point that as cases rise the hospitalizations will rise and so we're tracking hospitalizations right now,” said Dr. Jennifer Russell.

“Clearly when you hear the number of people that have been isolating and have been impacted by COVID-19 in the hospital system particularly in the Saint John region we're undertaking with our RHAs and the work they've been doing very diligently over the past several days to manage this is becoming a crisis in terms of human resources,” Dr. Russell said.

Of those isolating, 460 are from the Horizon Health Network, 70 are from the Vitalité Health Network staff and 41 are from Extra-Mural/Ambulance New Brunswick.

“We're really trying to be as nimble and flexible as possible to try to address the issues in the hospital system with respect to the services that they need to continue to be able to offer,” added Dr. Russell.

Dr. MacMillan says many physicians and healthcare professionals were just starting to catch up on their long wait lists but he expects that to change again soon.

"We are now suffering the consequences, we are reducing surgeries, we are reducing procedures, we are cancelling appointments, we are cancelling bloodwork appointments, radiology appointments, all these sort of very important procedures and imaging tests, and tests which they call elective but it doesn't mean they're not important,” said Dr. MacMillan.

Both Dr. MacMillan and Dr. MacKnight say the only way to end this crisis is to get vaccinated and boosted.

"It's frustrating for us because we're feeling because we feel like we want to do what we can to help our patients and we're constantly trying to explain the situation," added Dr. MacKnight.

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/3pTv9rY

#new brunswick #prince edward island #nova scotia #news #politics #canada #CTVAtlantic

0 notes

yeojagroup · 3 years

Text

just venting about my health, emotional whiplash, crippling anxiety due to just Mental Illness Luv with anxiety about being immunocompromised during a pandemic being the cherry on top of it all

really fuckin . Bad day..... so i had to get x-rays of my lungs done to rule out TB before my dermatologist will let me get my stelara shot to treat my psoriasis & inflammation, which i have been putting off this whole year because getting stelara can affect your immune system and weaken it. me, a person who is practically several different autoimmune diseases in a trenchcoat was scared to get it because of COVID. anyway, my psoriasis and inflammation had gotten to point where i felt so much discomfort that i cried and decided enough was enough, i was gonna go ahead and get everything done that i need to get the shot, and i’ll just limit my trips outside for a week or two.

ANYWAY !! when we were scheduling this appointment at the imaging place, my mom was right next to me and i wrote down the time and date of the appointment, was pretty sure she did too. they wanted us to arrive 15 mins early and call ahead because they didn’t want crowded waiting rooms and were limiting exposure as much as possible. i understood that, thought my mom did too. we both commented on how we thought that was smart. anyway, come today, my mom apparently .. didn’t realize that i had the appointment today?

even though she was right next to me during the scheduling?? i had woken up, and even poked my head in her room to say, “hey, just letting you know i’m awake!” then got ready. literally .. an hour before my appointment at 12 pm she’s like, “i didn’t know the appointment was today, i thought we still had paperwork to fill out and they’d call us to schedule.” i was like ???????? no... you were right there when we confirmed and i even thought you wrote it down, go look at your calendar. i just felt like .. ah. another day of being dicked around by family and having to be put on the back burner. whatever! try not to get upset! (i tried fr lmao i took two lorazepam) but my mom managed to pull through for me this time and actually got me there.

i was feeling very anxious and still upset, it’s been a while since i’ve been in a doctor’s office/waiting room of any kind and i didn’t know if they would wanna test me for covid or not. (i told the radiologist that verbatim, btw. that i was nervous.) i signed on the paperwork at least five times that i’ve never had it, been into contact with anyone that had it or was experiencing any symptoms. checked the box on all of it, got back to the dressing room where the radiologist asks you the standard, uncomfortable “are you pregnant or planning to become pregnant questions? and then tells you to take off your bra or any jewelry. that was fine, but when i got back to the actual imaging room it was some intern with a thick accent doing the x-rays, and between the accent and the mask i could Not understand his directions at all.. i would repeat what he said to confirm what he wanted me to do. at a certain point they go back to look at the console and i can hear the radiologist say to the intern, “c’mon, man, you’re gonna have to do this for a living.”

i had no idea what the fuck was going on, but at some point the radiologist comes over to take over and takes the last picture, tells me to have a good week and happy holidays and that i could go put my bra back on. so i went to get my belongings and do just that. then i hear a knock on the door with the intern saying “come back!” and a few moments later, the radiologist apologizing and also requesting that i take my bra back off because we didn’t get a good picture of the left lung that the intern took. so im like . okay!!! sorry! hold on. and fUCKIN

took it off again. radiologist helps me, and we are practically immediately done. i rush back to to the locker room because i am Eager to get out of there. it was murphy’s law, i swear. that had taken like ... 45 minutes. and i just KNOW i could have gotten out of there sooner if it was a trained professional doing it, but despite me saying i was nervous, the radiologist still decided to let the intern handle this. would it have made me seem like a bitch to ask for the professional to do it?? like. i dont know. i just started crying once i got in the car because i was tired of being poked and prodded at already. just felt like i’d been dicked around all day ... i was supposed to have gotten bloodwork done today but. nothing has gone right today so i’m not doing it.

#txt #vent

0 notes

lordofthebigtimesupernatural · 7 years

Note

I understand that you are very busy but I enjoy your series so very much and I was wondering if you would consider a cancer scare in which an abnormality is detected in 13 y/o Keith's pancreas and he needs to go in for scans. Shiro, knowing pancreatic cancer to be extremely deadly, would be absolutely devasted, and we live for the angst, don't we? :)

Ahh! As you can tell, I am super busy and slacking! I am so sorry but WOW nonny, way to make me sad. Like thanks! But you’re right we do all live for the angst, don’t we? And I could have made this even angstier but I couldn’t let my babies suffer. Thanks for sending in these prompts everyone and enjoy!

x.V.x

It wasn’t often that Keith got sick. Every now and again he caught a cold or sometimes a bad stomach ache. Usually, after only a day of rest, he was good to go and back to full health. It always amazed Shiro at how quickly, Keith was able to bounce back after getting sick. Even Shiro took about two to three days before he was back to normal when he got sick.

Still, it was nice that Keith’s illnesses never really lingered. That gave Shiro less to worry about.

Though, what was worrying, was whenever Keith’s illnesses lingered past two days. Especially when his symptoms weren’t getting any better. When that happened, it was cause for alarm for Keith.

For the past four days, Keith was bedridden by a nasty stomach ache. It had gotten to the point where Keith had stopped arguing with his dad about lying in bed and instead slept for most of the days. Even with all the rest and little movement, Keith wasn’t doing any better. By the fourth day, Shiro was at wit’s end and ready to take Keith to the emergency room.

He knew that would probably embarrass the thirteen-year-old, but Keith had looked so miserable for the past few days that Shiro couldn’t care in that moment. However, he did refrain from calling an ambulance to take Keith to an emergency room. After all, Keith hadn’t been displaying any life-threatening conditions other than slight dehydration from being unable to keep anything down.

Eventually, Shiro came to a logical conclusion and had called the Pediatrician that Keith always went too. He was fortunate that there was one last appointment available that afternoon, and he had thanked the receptionist a hundred times. He gave Keith a few more hours to rest on his own, before deciding that he needed to wake his son up for the appointment.

Shiro’s heart twisted painfully at Keith curled underneath his covers, nearly covering his face, in obvious pain and discomfort. After a few seconds, of watching Keith’s face scrunch up in pain, Shiro walked across the room and knelt beside Keith’s bed. He placed a gentle hand against Keith’s forehead, careful to keep his prosthetic away from Keith, to prevent scaring him.

Keith blinked blearily at Shiro before leaning into the touch.

“Hey kiddo,” Shiro said softly. “Are you feeling any better?”

Glumly, Keith shook his head and curled into a ball even further, if that was possible. Shiro’s chest tightened and he continued to stroke Keith’s hair back.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro said. He continued to rub Keith’s head for a few quiet minutes, before deciding that Keith truly needed to get to his appointment. “I know you probably don’t even want to get up right now, but I made an appointment with Dr. Bennett. It’s been much longer than usual and I think we need a second opinion.”

Keith made a few grumbling noises under his covers but he didn’t argue with Shiro, much to Shiro’s surprise. It made the situation all the heavier, when Keith didn’t argue once about going to a doctor and showed how much discomfort Keith must have been in.

Shiro just hoped that the doctors would be able to have whatever Keith needed in order to get better.

x.V.x

“An…MRI?” Shiro asked slowly. He wanted to look over at Keith who was lying miserably on the exam table. He was bundled back up in one of his own sweatshirts, along with one of Shiro’s Army sweatshirts.

The doctor nodded patiently. He was probably used to having patients and parents repeat his responses or act in the way that Shiro was acting. Though, to be fair, Shiro hadn’t exactly been expecting for Keith to have an MRI today. He figured the doctor would prescribe some anti-nausea and pain medicine and give Keith a doctor’s note.

“Yes. Due to the location of Keith’s pain and the length of it, I want to just check to make sure everything is okay.” The doctor, a middle-aged woman named Bennett, said. Shiro blinked again and Keith grumbled. “We actually have a brand new imaging facility on sight, but of course we’ll have to contact your insurance company first to be sure that it gets the green light.”

“But…why? Didn’t you take blood?” Shiro asked slowly. The doctor nodded with a small smile, eyes flickering to Keith for a moment. She looked hesitant to answer with Keith in the room and Shiro could feel his heart sink.

“Yes, but with an MRI and bloodwork, it’ll narrow down a diagnosis and also eliminate any possibilities,” Bennett explained softly. Shiro felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach at the word, diagnosis, and suddenly he felt like they weren’t talking about the flu anymore. “We don’t have to do anything that either of you isn’t comfortable with, but I believe it best to work as quickly as possible in case there is a need for a diagnosis.”

Shiro knew that he had talked with Dr. Bennett for a little while longer, asking her questions and getting answers from her. He knew that he had waited with Keith while he dozed on and off in the exam room until a new nurse had come with a bed and a smile for Keith. He knew that they had wheeled Keith off to another room with Shiro waiting numbly outside while the took the MRI. He knew that Keith had been extra grumpy afterward and Shiro almost carried him back to the car after Dr. Bennett said they were free to go. He knew that once they had gotten home that Keith had fallen asleep on the couch and Shiro had tucked him in.

But he felt numb.

His heart was racing but his mind was completely numb. This wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. Keith was going to be fine. He didn’t know how long he had sat down on a stool at the kitchen counter, but eventually, he looked up to see that it was dark outside, and Keith was finally just starting to wake up. Snapping into action, Shiro went to make dinner and greet Keith as he pushed all the negative thoughts aside in order to focus on his son.

Keith was going to be fine. There was nothing wrong.

x.V.x

“Hello Shiro and…?” Dr. Bennett smiled as she sat down behind her desk. Shiro followed, taking a seat with Kuro right beside him. The two shook hands with the doctor once more and Shiro was embarrassed to know that his hands were sweating bullets. They were probably gross but Dr. Bennett didn’t even flinch.

“Kuro Shirogane.” Kuro introduced with a smile. Shiro would have tried to smile too but his stomach was in knots and his heart was racing. He was suddenly extremely glad that Kuro was with him today and that their parents were watching Keith. “I’m this guy’s better-looking twin brother.”

“My, I can see the resemblance.” Dr. Bennett laughed as she began to pull a file up on her computer. Shiro swallowed thickly, unable to laugh or smile with his brother and the doctor. That was Keith’s file. “Shiro. How are you?”

Shiro’s mouth felt dry. Me? Shouldn’t she be asking about Keith? He tried to get his voice to work but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make a single noise. It was as if a hard lump was stuck in his throat. Kuro laid a hand down on Shiro’s thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“He’s been better.” Kuro finally explained. “Keith has been feeling a bit worse since the last visit to you, so Shiro’s been stressed about that. I started to stay in the guest bedroom so I could watch over Keith while Shiro slept or worked. But we’ve all been a bit stressed these past few days.”

Dr. Bennett sighed heavily but nodded. “I’m sorry to hear that Keith hadn’t been feeling better. I was hoping my initial theories were wrong.” Shiro could feel his heart plummet to the floor and he nearly stopped breathing, if it wasn’t for Kuro’s hand on his thigh. Dr. Bennett looked sympathetically to Shiro and Shiro nearly burst into tears.

“Keith?” Shiro finally managed to squeak out.

“Yes,” Dr. Bennett took a deep breath before clicking on her computer. “When you first brought Keith in, I thought it was just a bad case of stomach flu – it is the season after all.” At this Kuro and Shiro, both nodded. “But then after examining him and finding the source of the pain, I worried that it could be appendicitis. It’s common and happens to many of us. Which was why I requested the MRI. Unfortunately, the MRI and his bloodwork said something else.”

Shiro could feel his heart sinking into the floor, going deeper and deeper. He could handle appendicitis. Appendicitis was still bad but it was treatable and most people recovered from it. Kuro was a perfect example of that, and he’d had his appendix removed when the two of them had been six. Saying that it wasn’t appendicitis, was like a death sentence for Shiro.

“Shiro, I’m afraid the scans on the MRI picked up a small abnormality in Keith’s pancreas.” Dr. Bennett began to explain as she turned her computer so Kuro and Shiro could see what she was seeing. Shiro’s heart stopped as did his breathing, and this time not even Kuro could help. Shiro knew what the doctor was going to say before she said it.

“Cancer. Y – You’re saying…Keith has cancer?” Shiro finally managed out before Dr. Bennett could speak. Kuro’s grip suddenly tightened on Shiro’s thigh, his nails digging into Shiro’s pants, but Shiro barely felt that. Dr. Bennett didn’t seem surprised at Shiro’s conclusion and she simply nodded. Shiro’s heart began to break.

No. No. No. Nonononononononthiscan’tbehappening.

No. Notmybabyotkeiththiscan’tbehappeningtokeithpleaseno.

“Shiro! Shiro!”

“Mr. Shirogane.”

Shiro blinked upon hearing Kuro and Dr. Bennett’s voices floating through his sudden panic. It was then that he realized that he was looking up at Kuro and the doctor and the ceiling. He found that strange considering he was looking at them both before. Kuro knelt down on the ground beside him to grab a hold of his back and arm, and Shiro realized that he was on the ground. Had he fainted?

“Why are we on the ground?” Shiro finally mumbled out of exhaustion. He felt like he’d been run over by a train and Kuro winced.

“Do you remember falling off your chair at all?” Kuro asked quietly Shiro frowned, biting his lip before shaking his head. Kuro exhaled sharply. “You nearly fainted Takashi. You were talking about…about Keith’s diagnosis and then suddenly you weren’t breathing and you had toppled over!”

Shiro swallowed thickly, feeling his breathing pick up upon remembering their discussion of Keith.

Cancer.

Keith had cancer.

Keithhadcancerandtherewasnothingshirocoulddo –

“Takashi! Stop it!” Shiro jerked when Kuro had suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders and sat him upright. Kuro’s scarred face was staring at Shiro with wide, terrified eyes and Shiro swallowed thickly.

“Shiro,” Dr. Bennett said quietly. Shiro snapped his attention to her for a second, before an unfamiliar burst of anger filled his chest. He just felt so incredibly angry at her – she was the cause for this. She had found that Keith had cancer. Shiro jumped to his feet, towering over Kuro and Dr. Bennett, but the woman didn’t look away from Shiro. “Shiro, I need you to remain calm. We don’t want you fainting, nor do we want you to do anything that you regret.

“It’s not fair!” Shiro suddenly growled and Kuro scrambled to his feet, surprised at Shiro’s change in demeanor. Normally it was Kuro who was the angry one and Shiro was constantly calming him down after being returned home. He hadn’t seen Shiro like this since they were kids. Shiro had always had a temper as a kid but Kuro had seen Shiro grow out of that.

“How is any of this fair?!” Shiro hissed again, hands clenched in fists. Kuro was quick to shove both of his hands on Shiro’s chest when Shiro tried to take a step forward. “Why the hell would you lie to me like that and tell me that my son has cancer!”

“Shiro! Stop this! This is her job.” Kuro growled lowly but Shiro never once looked at him.

“Shiro, I understand that this is a very difficult situation for you to hear.” Dr. Bennett started only to be cut off by Shiro’s.

“How the hell can you understand?! You’re not the one whose son had cancer!” Shiro practically spat and Kuro recoiled in surprise. “How can you understand that Keith is just a kid! He’s thirteen! He should be worrying about his first date, rather than the fact that he has cancer. He should be out playing with his friends in the science and robotics club, but instead, he’s stuck in bed for weeks! He should be with Red outside on a walk but now he might not get to do that! He shouldn’t be worrying about cancer ever! Why? Why him?! Why does he have this; how is it fair? It’s not fucking fair? How would you understand?” Shiro hadn’t even realized that he was crying until Kuro was crying too.

He shoulders and his posture slowly lost their power until he was practically curled in on himself. His entire body lost its angry demeanor and was slowly replaced by the shell of a broken man. Kuro had to guide him back to the seat, where Shiro dropped himself into, shoulders shaking and tears streaming down his face.

“I understand because my daughter had cancer.” Dr. Bennett said softly. Shiro felt his tears run faster as guilt clawed through his chest, ripping disgusting holes in his heart. “Granted she was in her thirties, but she had cancer. It took many months of chemotherapy and surgery but now she’s doing fine.” Dr. Bennett was quiet for a few minutes while Shiro cried, with Kuro’s arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Shiro,” Dr. Bennett said. Shiro hiccupped and looked at her through blurred tears. “I know this hurts and this is the worst part of my job. I hate telling patients – telling parents or family of a diagnosis. Especially when I can’t guarantee that Keith will be fine after this,” Shiro choked back another sob and Kuro sniffled. “However, we caught the tumor early Shiro. Very early. I know this is a lot to take in, but let me tell you that Keith had a great chance if we get started right now. The longer we wait, the longer cancer has time to spread. Keith has a better chance than he could have if you had ignored his symptoms and waited.”

Shiro couldn’t even speak, but he was thankful when Dr. Bennett handed Kuro a tissue box.

“W – What can you tell us?” Kuro’s voice cracked when he spoke and Shiro could feel the despair in his brother’s voice. He was realizing that this didn’t just affect him. Kuro loved Keith. Their parents loved Keith. Lance, Pidge and Hunk all loved Keith.

Ulaz, Antok, Kolivan.

Allura and Coran.

They all loved Keith and this news would hurt every single one of them.

Worst of all, Keith was the most affected. He was the one who would have to live with this diagnosis. He was suffering from the symptoms and would need the treatment. This was affecting his life more than Shiro’s and Shiro felt ashamed.

He needed to be there for Keith, even more than ever before.

x.V.x

Keith had been upset after Shiro and Kuro had explained his diagnostic. Admittedly, there was had been many, many, many tears between Keith and Shiro. Kuro had cried again. So had their parents and Keith’s friends.

It wasn’t an easy road afterward, even having caught the cancer in its earlier stages.

Surgery had been rough on Keith, who had been terrified of the thought of surgery and going under the knife.

Treatment after surgery had been even more difficult. Sometimes the symptoms of the treatment felt even worse than the symptoms of cancer.

Keith wound up spending too many months in the hospital. He’d dropped school that year, to be homeschooled by Allura and Shiro, at the hospital. His hospital room had nearly become his home during this part of Keith’s life.

There were many nights of tears and yelling. Many days where Keith didn’t have the energy to get out of bed. Days full of pain.

Days where Shiro had to ask over and over, why? Why? Why?

Days where Shiro couldn’t look at anyone.

However, despite the troubles, the pain and the difficulties, there were plenty of smiles. There were good days where Keith could walk around the gardens. There were days he was allowed to leave the hospital for the day. Days where he was smiling and laughing to Lance’s jokes or talking theories to Pidge and enjoying Hunk’s baking.

Days where he was surrounded by family.

Days where he cried out of happiness after Shiro had put glow in the dark star formations all over the ceiling of Keith’s hospital room and filled the room with photographs his Uncle Kuro had taken that were Keith’s favorite. Days where Kuro had snuck Red into Keith’s hospital room and Keith had practically lit up seeing his best friend.

There were plenty of days full of hope and happiness.

Then came the day where Dr. Bennett had come into Keith’s room with Keith’s entire family crowding around him. It was a bit comical to see the number of people squished into the hospital room, seeing large men like Antok nearly sitting on someone’s lap. That was the day where Dr. Bennett had smiled her biggest smile ever and announced that Keith was cancer free.

Everyone cried that day.

Then came Keith’s first days back home, away from the hospital. He’d slept in Shiro’s room for almost two weeks after coming home and Shiro was happy to have his son home and close.

Slowly but surely, Keith got better and stronger and thirteen months after the day that Keith was diagnosed, Keith was back to his old life. With nothing but a small scar and memories as a reminder of his troubles.

And Shiro and Keith had been blessed to have had the best support system in the world. Both of them realized all the more, how lucky they were to have the family that they had.

#single dad shiro #single dad shiro AU #kiddie!paladins #kiddie!AU #voltron legendary defender #thanks nonny #we needed that angst today #i do not know too much about cancer #so don't take this seriously

12 notes · View notes